You

Not quite a shadow

- that dark, wispy presence

that, as you turn, disappears

Nor that deep hum

- of a tune you can't recall

that, as you remembers, silents

But a glaring light,

- that glimmers ever so brightly

through the corneas of your eyes

to blind you from the darkness. 

I Want To Go

I want to go far away from wherever I am now.

I want to fall off the radar.

I want to go to a place where nobody I know can find me.

I just want to be alone.

Magic

I call it magic, I call it truth.




Magic by Coldplay (cover by Derran Day)

All of Me

All of Me by John Legend


What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Wrecking Ball.

Feels dark in there. Light's are off.






We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can't live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

I put you high up in the sky
And now, you're not coming down
It slowly turned, you let me burn
And now, we're ashes on the ground

I never meant to start a war
I just wanted you to let me in
And instead of using force
I guess I should've let you win
I never meant to start a war
I just wanted you to let me in
I guess I should've let you win

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me

I came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

Just enough.

Swimming in the Darkest Eyes

I swim in the darkest black
of your eyes

Those curtains to your windows
they seem so heavy

Your tears spill over
and trickle down your facade

The gaze I used to hold
move towards the gravity

I swim and I see
nothingness, weariness

Your soul has long begone
the body that you carry

Your eyes crowded
with nothing important

Your gaze is sharp
but it goes through me

Those eyes are my home
no more

Those eyes that used to light up
now are dim

Those eyes that first gave me butterflies
are now any stranger's eyes.

Why Didn't You Save Me?

Drowning
In the matter that is the world.

Suffocating
In the small space of insignificance.

Trembling
To grasp the fictitious whimper of hope.

Grasping
For the nonexistent scaffolding of strength.

Limping
Through coarse grizzles of broken lungs.

Screaming
In loud ignored whispers.

Waving, Crying, Kneeling
For help.

Life in Point Form

Overwhelming.

Like trying to fill the glass of soda as much as you can and have the froth spilling over.

Few things:

1. Will be voting first time this year for the General Election. Excited to be a part of history, albeit I'm just one out of the 13.26 million voters this year. My decision counts.

2. Will be anchoring the GE with live updates covering every nook and cranny in Malaysia, and every possible range of sectors.

3. Impossibly high benchmarks to match and break.

4. More people waiting to break you down.

5. I'm the only person I can trust right now, and even then I still can't trust myself sometimes.


And finally but most importantly: I'm exhausted. Really, really exhausted.


*On a side note, I'm beyond happy that Spotify has reached our shores. But still find myself dedicating a tab for my Grooveshark. Good stuff.

**Another side not: Suddenly miss the cold breeze of Glenelg Beach in Adelaide. Where it would swish swoosh my hair but doesnt make it frizzy. Miss looking out across the sea to mere nothingness, while the sun melts as it reach the tip of the horizon. Miss being free.

Click here to be linked to a song I'm dedicating to you. Surprise.

That One Step

I was spending some time in the dark last night - recalling events in glimpses that come together. Almost like a filtered collage of memories that're put on top of each other layer by layer. A little overwhelming, but enough so.

I recalled thinking "Oh well."

It's a handy tool of communication: "Oh well"s.

It serves as a sign that you acknowledge things that have happened, and still have some hope for things about to happen.

Life has been amazing of course. But Life is not Life without turbulence and problems.It's an SOP. In fact, the better your life is, the bigger your problems are. Unless you're effing lucky; which I'm not.

I feel like in this moment, no matter how much I say and whatever it is that I say, it's going to add up to only one little fact. The fact that I have grown to be a better, and more mature person than I used to be.

And I am proud of that. Despite the things that have occurred, this is the silver lining. Above all, this is the only thing I ever wanted.

Memories will still be memories. They well always be kept safely in my mind and in my heart. But time will always be time. And there is no time to go back, but to only move forward.

As I'm writing this, I have one feet ahead of the other. I'm taking that step - the step that will shift me from where I am.

 Cheers to Life.

Let Her Go by Passenger

"Only know you love her when you let her go.."