Math

The Creeper Age Equation

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Eventually I will write a full post on this but lately I’ve had to explain the “Creeper Age Equation” to my friends a lot.

So people, to determine if someone falls in your creeper-age-range you take your age, divide it in half then add 7. Anything less than the outcome is in the total creeper zone.

Let me give you an example: If you are 24 you divide your age in half= 12. Then add 7 giving you 19. Do NOT date below 19 years old. And no matter what your creeper age is Never EVER go below 18! That’s like walking around wearing the opposing team’s colors in Lincoln on a Husker game day; you’re just asking for trouble.

If this isn’t clear enough for you then I am sincerely worried. And don’t ask me about how old is too much older, I’m still working on a mathematic equation for that.

There Is Hope- Maybe

Monday was Labor Day; I have absolutely no idea what the holiday is even for but I do appreciate how it gets me out of school and work. Not to mention it got me a Monday off from having to worry about FHE stuff and brought on a nice ward barbeque for those of us not with our families. It was an ok barbeque but I felt bad because I worried some of us may have crushed one guy’s dreams (ok it sounds worse in writing than it actually is- I promise!)

During the barbeque all of us singles gathered together at a table and started to chat. I don’t recall how we came onto the subject but one of my friends stated, “Everyone thinks they are going to get married when they move out here, but they don’t.” One of the newer guys in the ward who is one of those that will actually date spoke up and said, “Thats not true.” but their was an air of question in his voice. I interjected, “No it is true.”

I wish I hadn’t left it at that. So because of my potential crushing of this man’s dreams I will clarify something: the reason people don’t get married out here is because the men don’t seriously date. The simple truth is for most guys if the date around with the solid intention of finding a wife it will happen in two years tops. I’m dead serious. Sadly it is different for women, sorry but we have to wait for boys to figure out to date…

Another thing I had been thinking about since that day is what you need in that other person to make that perfect fit for “Time and All Eternity.” I’m taking a family communications course right now and we discuss regularly what makes and breaks a marriage. One thing that has been shown through the class is that we fair better with people similar to us in the long run; opposites may attract but they don’t last.

All weekend when I was with my family for my cousin’s wedding I kept thinking about what I would need in a guy for him and I to work well. I’m not actually talking about just being LDS and having a strong testimony, but how would he fit in with my family? I come from a tight-knit small town family, would my husband be OK with a small town like I want? I want a huge family, but will he be OK with that? My husband will have to deal with the non-member side of my family all the time and be willing to help each other out often (will he be willing to go to all the basketball games, town functions, and little quirks that come with being in a highly involved and social family- and this is on top of church stuff)?

When you put a lot of thought into it you realize how complex and difficult it is to find someone who fits the criteria of what you need. I guess that is the beauty of Heavenly Father’s plan for us; we don’t know but He does. Of course the waiting/patience thing sucks, but if you date I’m sure that speeds up the process a little. Bottom line is Heavenly Father knows exactly who (and what) we need for an eternal companion, but I believe it is important to recognize what you need so you’ll know when you find it. Whoever your eternal companion buddy will be will not be perfect, but they will definitely be perfect for you. So there is hope for us all; I promise.

More Than Just A Math Equation

Well it has been about a month and a half since I last posted, but it feels like I’ve learned a decades worth of dating and marriage stuff since then. As I talked about in my last post, I decided to change my views and open myself back up to dating (with the ultimate goal of being more open for marriage). Now you must know that when I pursue something I delve myself into what I’ve taken an interest in. When I decided to start learning to play volleyball I joined the High School’s team and often found myself watching games, staying in the gym longer than everyone else to practice, and setting up a net at home so I could continue practicing once I was kicked out of the gym. I recently chose to overcome my fear of singing so I joined ward choir and have started asking the director for extra lessons (this is really more so I don’t embarrass the entire ward when we perform on Easter, but you get the gist of what I’m saying). So when I decided to take an interest in dating I did my research.

First I had to evaluate myself. Was I spiritually ready to even think of marriage? Were there things I seriously needed to improve on? Am I even someone would want to spend time and all ETERNITY with? Each of these questions comes with what I call “grey area” answers (sort-of yes-sort-of-no answers). For the first question I prayed about it and realized it was a “Yes.” I don’t think I would’ve started on this new chapter of life if I wasn’t. Are there things I still need to improve on…? Yes, who doesn’t?! We’re on this Earth to progress, so obviously none of us start out perfect when we begin something (though I don’t think I have anything detrimental that needs changed… except maybe my habit of taking a long time to put away clean laundry).

Finally am I someone would want to be married to forever?! When you ask yourself that often you start think of yourself as a math question, you add up all your good qualities and hope subtracting the bad qualities won’t put you in the negative. I found myself thinking, “I can bake a cake like nobody’s business, but I only speak English- and not very well at that…”

After taking a mental list of my good and bad qualities I stopped myself. I recalled a talk that Gordon B. Hinckley gave long ago called  And the Greatest of These is Love, where he quoted an article saying

“One of the grand errors we tend to make when we are young is supposing that a person is a bundle of qualities, and we add up the individual’s good and bad qualities, like a bookkeeper working on debits and credits.

If the balance is favorable, we may decide to take the jump (into marriage). … The world is full of unhappy men and women who married because … it seemed to be a good investment.

Love, however, is not an investment; it is an adventure. And when marriage turns out to be as dull and comfortable as a sound investment, the disgruntled party soon turns elsewhere. …”

I realized that if I’m not suppose to think of myself as just a “bundle of qualities” because that’s not how I want my eternal companion to think of me when he looks. Someone will someday want to spend forever with me, I just need to keep the faith and stay away from math!