school

Why Aren’t You Worried About Me?

It. Is. Done.

Well, almost done. Or more accurately, it heading towards being close to almost-done. I’m talking about my thesis, a.k.a “The Monster.”

A few days ago I went to meet with my graduate advisor to discuss next semester, which meant talking about my comprehensive exams and thesis possibilities. I was waiting quite a while for my advisor to show up so in the mean time I wandered around the offices to see who I could talk to. I ran into one of my professors and started discussing my “future.” As we talked she just said, “I worry about some students but I don’t worry about you.”

As flattered as I was I thought, “Seriously? You saw me eat two expired sandwiches in your class last week and I was about to eat another one yesterday except you gave me pizza. You’re sure you’re not worried about me and my future?” And in my defense after surviving all the bouts of food poisoning I’ve had I do not fear expiration dates. If the price is right they are more ‘guidelines’ than ‘warnings.’

After I talked with her and went back and forth across campus looking for my advisor, I finally got to meet and talk with him. We went through my semester plans quickly, discussed my thesis idea, and he even said he wanted to be a part of my thesis committee. The meeting went well. Surprisingly well.

When I’d shared my concerns about comprehensive exams and my thesis he said that he wasn’t worried about me. Again, I thought about eating expired sandwiches, but then I started to think about how people just aren’t worried that I’ll finish my M.A.

It’s weird. A year ago I never would have imagined I’d have things together, that I’d be okay at this point. Then again at this time last year I was still grappling with the fact that I was in school and not in Utah like I had planned to be. More importantly, how did this all work out?

It baffles me how Heavenly Father has slowly but surely gotten me to this point. I regret questioning him so much if grad school was really what he wanted, but I’m so thankful he didn’t smite me for pestering him. Yet maybe my questioning has something to do with all the food poisoning I’ve had… Or maybe because of my failure to refrain from Hy-Vee chinese buffet food.

Anyways, I still don’t understand why people have this sense of calm when it comes to me and accomplishing my M.A. I guess everybody just sees something I don’t quite understand. Regardless, I’m thankful they do. It just further proves, again, that Heavenly Father was right and I was wrong.

Now if only people would have this same calmness about me and my living choices. Despite past problems my complex has really straightened out. Admittedly I am a little concerned as to why the same neighbor has a different car every 2 weeks (I’ve been tracking this for a few months now) and I don’t feel the need to carry my pepper spray around anymore (maybe because I lost it)!

I’m glad people aren’t worrying about my school work or future job prospects, hopefully they will stop worrying about my apartment too.

Survival Isn’t An Option

Back when I lived in Washington I was… I was… I was  a Democrat! Not really a bad thing, but I really am not one today (we’ll just say I’m a Republican that hates Texans). But when I was one in Washington I loved talking politics with my friends, expressing views, and learning about current issues (which is part of the reason I love working in news so much). Lately with the GOP race I can’t get enough of what is happening, CNN and MSN are on my bookmarks bar so I don’t have to waste time searching for the latest political news! I also love talking about communication patterns in people or discussing the changes in societies acceptance of what was once morally corrupt (and still is but they don’t care). You know when the last time I got to have an intellectual discussion about such topics? A really really long time ago. I tried talking to some friends about the GOP race seeing as I assumed people would keep up with Romney’s stats since he’s Mormon, but no they simply said, “I don’t keep up with politics.” I nearly cried… I just want to discuss the holes in Cain’s 9-9-9 plan a little, is that too much to ask? I don’t find any fault in other people for not keeping up with this stuff, most don’t, and it isn’t like I’m one to be considered as an extreme intellectual, I just wonder if there is anyone out there that loves discussing this too who doesn’t like to force their views upon everyone else?

I guess another issue of mine lately is I’ve become dissatisfied with Omaha (again) so I’m doing what I do best: staying super busy. I took a trip to Kansas City, finally got a hold of Lincoln for FHE plans, started research for 3 different papers, finished one video feature (and have already made contact to start the next one), finishing up another feature (this one for print), and I painted a bedroom for my parents when I came home to visit (against my will might I add! well to be fair I did consume almost all their cereal so I guess I kind of owed them…), and I even left all my clothes back home because I love to make things difficult for myself. Anyhow I love being busy, but the sleep deprivation is causing some shakiness and I keep forgetting to eat (thank goodness I loaded up on tootsie roll pops at Institute to get me by). I feel like I should be slowing down and making an effort to relax, but then I’d have to focus more on what I need to do to be happier, and what I need is someone to discuss the latest GOP debates with someone who won’t annoy me. Or I would settle for a thorough conversation on how awesome Bill Murray is, but I’m not holding my breath for that one either.

So for now I go and shall see how long I survive in my super-productive state. I think I’ll be stuck in it for a while since finals are coming. Plus I’m starting to run again, so hopefully the increase in cardio will decrease my chance of death by sleep deprivation. That makes sense, right?