Public grief

June 6, 2014 by Missing Noah

I just read this post from the round up. And this quote stuck with me. “She said something that stuck with me, “Clare, a friend just told me that I am grieving publicly and that doing so, in the current world, is a rare rare thing.”” I think public grieving is becoming more common, at […]

TFMR and the loss community

June 5, 2014 by Missing Noah

I want to write a longer post today about the strife we saw in the community yesterday. For now. This is a place holder. I will update more later. If you aren’t sure what I am talking about, I have links and thoughts on my Facebook page. I find myself writing short thoughts more often […]

Due date

March 12, 2014 by Missing Noah

Dear Noah, This is it. Your due date. I know they are just estimates, and even healthy, you could have been here months ago, or not yet. But his was supposed to be our time. O has been asking about you today. We put up pictures from your birth day,and after naming everyone he asked […]

A Heartbreaking Choice

January 25, 2014 by Missing Noah

I was nervous when I started reading a post from Grounded Parents titled “Abortion Rhetoric from the Perspective of a “Miracle Baby” Mom.” I’m frequently nervous when the topic of abortion comes up. And when it is paired with the the topic of micropreemies, infertility, or stillbirth, I get even more nervous. It didn’t use […]

Please Pray

January 18, 2014 by Missing Noah

I was going to post tonight about my terrible week. How it was filled with reminders of Noah’s death. Of inconveniences. Of the calls from cord blood banking, and bills from my pregnancy and Noah’s birth. About how today, 3 months after my induction began, a nosy tech from my optometrist told me that Owen […]

Is it mourning?

January 1, 2014 by Missing Noah

I saw someone complaining on a loss board recently about non-loss moms talking about mourning their birth experience. Their thinking was even if the experience isn’t what you wanted, healthy living baby = success. And that while you may be sad that you didn’t get the experience you wanted, it can’t be mourning because there […]

Goodbye 2013

January 1, 2014 by Missing Noah

2013 brought with it so much loss. I was sick for a quarter of it, but it’s hard to wish that away, for it was also my only time with Noah. It has been a year of change, We started off the year with Dan trying to finish his thesis as we planned our move. […]

I’m not ok

December 12, 2013 by Missing Noah

The closer we get to Christmas, the more broken I feel. I feel on edge all the time. Exhausted. On the verge of tears at least half the day. I don’t know what it is. We’re not even a big “Christmas” family. Dan’s pretty agnostic, I identify as Jewish, but we both grew up with […]

Let’s Stop Blaming

December 7, 2013 by Missing Noah

We all need to hear this. We were told the day of Noah’s diagnosis that it was nothing we did or didn’t do. I try very hard to believe that. But despite what the speacialist said, the opinions of family and friends has weighed on me. In this society we judge the actions of pregnant […]

One Lovely Blog Award

December 5, 2013 by Missing Noah

I want to thank Stupid Broken Eggs for nominating me for the one lovely blog award. Here are the rules: 1) Thank the one that nominated you. 2) Put up the picture for the One Lovely Blog Award. 3) Tell everyone seven things about yourself. 4) Nominate seven other people and tell them that you […]