Seven months

May 20, 2014 by Missing Noah

7 months. How is that even possible? The past month has been so wrapped up in infertility, and the miscarriage. The IUI was on April 16th. Six month from our last day home with Noah. This whole month has been about betas and tests and plans. It feels like my focus is split. This was […]

So tired

April 13, 2014 by Missing Noah

Today was an incredibly hard day. We went to a birthday party and a housewarming party and they both had triggers everywhere. Other March babies. Newly announced pregnancies. A “save the date” on the fridge for a wedding on Noah’s 1 year still birthday. And a family with a son O’s age, and a six […]

Three Months

January 20, 2014 by Missing Noah

Dear Noah, Today is 3 months since your stillbirthday. I still miss you and think about you every day. It seems impossible that a quarter of a year has gone by without you. A month from today you will have been gone as long as you were alive. It seems crazy. Impossible. I get flashes. […]

Should have beens

December 2, 2013 by Missing Noah

Dear Noah, It’s is one of our last nights visiting family and friends for Thanksgiving. It’s exhausting being here. Having my grief on display 24 hours a day. Part of me can’t wait to go home to you. I know you aren’t really there, but your ashes are and it’s hard to be away. It’s […]