i think i let my emotions take control of me too much. Been crying alot lately. Sometimes i just dont know why. Its annoying. Coz im like a crybaby! :(
so i havent wrote on this blog for like the longest time. ive gone through alot. change in feelings, change in attitude, too many , i cant say. whats new is that i dont miss him anymore (: everything's changing. and im sort of loving it. but there's just this one thing in my heart that tells my head i cant move on. im not sure what it is. i gave up my friendship with hariz.. a long friendship. roughly 9 years. it was a misunderstanding, i must say. who knew the one person i trusted most could turn his back against me and say foolish things to me? i dont really know who ended the frinedship, but i, for one, knew that even if we were friends again, it would never be the same. even if i tried to make it work, he's not going to look at me the same way he used to. desperate, hariz? seriously? i went over the line before, yes. but not desperate. damn you hariz..Labels: dear God..., that small voice
the one i used to love.
married with a daughter?seriously.my past relationship with you went through my mind. i could still picture everthing i went through with you. and it killed me.i tried to think of happy thoughts but, like married? with a kid? i mean, i dont think its fair. how is it that you get to move on and i dont?!dear God, i hope he's happy and doesnt regret the life he chose. i hope he's more matured now and is able to hold that family that he has. Labels: BODOH., dear God...
it was an emotional sunday. i never thought i'd actually breakdown during lessons. but i swear, it was so hard to put on a fake smile and pretended that everything was ok. as i leaned on hazirah's shoulder, i couldnt help but think that i cant runaway from the fact that im still holding on to him. in a way, i feel psychotic.i keep telling myself that i have less than a year more to go till its over. this whole crazy fantasy i have.yes, its painful having to go through the same thing each week. but i know things will change soon. i know there will be a twist to this fairytale. i know.Labels: dear God..., fantasy isnt forever, that small voice
its still him.
saw him that day. he smiled then left. texted him a raya msg. he replied. i asked how he was. he seems fine. - the story of my life.
anyways, i finally am a woman again. after 9 months, i got my period back. had to leave school today coz it was horrible.
oh btw, raya was ok. played alot of games with cousins. love.
favourite picture with siblings was :

Labels: dear God...