Back when I was a teenager in my first job, I worked for a large warehouse-type membership store, the kind with everything in bulk and on big pallets. I see a customer on top of a ladder getting some heavy items down from a staff-only shelf.
Me: “Sir, please don’t use the staff ladders. If you need something, I can call someone qualified to—”
Customer: “—I’m in a hurry, mate. I don’t need to wait for the staff. I can grab it myself.”
Me: “Sir, those ladders are for employees only. Some of those boxes are over fifty kilos.”
Customer: “I lift heavier than this at the gym.”
Me: “You lift almost three metres off the ground?”
Customer: “Look. This saves time for me and for you lot. Shut up.”
My manager is walking over and sees this guy drag the step ladder down the aisle.
Manager: “Sir, where did you get that ladder?”
Customer: “The back somewhere.”
Manager: “Sir, you need to stop.”
Customer: “I’m nearly done. Just need that pallet up there.”
Manager: “You’re not insured to touch that.”
Customer: “Shut up! I’m doing you all a favour!”
Manager: “Right. One moment.”
The manager presses his radio.
Manager: “[Supervisor], can you come to aisle forty-two with your lifting kit?”
Supervisor: “On my way.”
Customer: “What for? I’ve already got it.”
The customer heaves a heavy box onto his trolley, which is already sagging in the middle. That thing is waaaaay over its limit.
Me: “Sir, that trolley is rated for—”
Customer: “—I know what I’m doing. Just leave me alone, all of you! I’m a weightlifter! I could lift you all right now and not even blink.”
My supervisor arrives. He has a prosthetic leg, but it’s not immediately obvious under his work trousers. The manager calls him over.
Manager: “This gentleman needs help loading safely.”
Customer: “I don’t need help. I just need you to be quick!”
Supervisor: “No problem. First, I will need to spread all your items over two trolleys, as these are stacked too tall and—”
My supervisor grips the side of the trolley to push it to the side of the aisle and out of the way. The customer doesn’t like this and pulls it back. The sudden back and forth forced one of the badly stacked boxes to slide off and hit the floor with a loud crack. It fell on the side where my supervisor is standing, and he instantly dropped to the ground.
Supervisor: “Oh! Oh no! My leg!”
Customer: “What?!”
The customer runs around the trolley to see my supervisor on the floor… with one leg missing.
Customer: *Turning white.* “I… I didn’t… I… someone call an ambulance!”
Supervisor: *Holding up his prosthetic leg, which he had hidden behind him.* “Oh, wait, it’s over here!”
There is a moment of suffocating silence.
Customer: “That… that’s not…”
Supervisor: *Popping the leg back in within seconds.* “Relax. It’s designed to do that. Unlike your trolley, which is not designed for that amount of weight.”
Customer: “You people are sick.”
Manager: “And if that had all been real, you’d be arrested.”
Customer: “I… was just in a rush.”
Manager: “A trip to the police station or hospital might slow you down a bit, though, eh?”
Me: “Shall we unload your trolley properly, sir?”
Customer: *Very quietly.* “…Yes.”
Supervisor: “Brilliant. I’ll hop to it then, shall I?”
Customer: *Blank stare.*
Supervisor: “Too soon?”
