Happy Birthday ASHTYN

Today is Ashtyn's 7th birthday! She was born in 2001 on this day at 1:30P.M. and weighed 7 lbs 9 oz. She is the most beautiful girl as you can see in the slide show all about her. She is our oldest child and she was definitely born to be a leader. She has as amazing imagination and loves to draw, paint, and write stories. She has written several. She is very creative. She loves to dance and sing and run and play. She makes up these amazing games. One of them is called tickle monster and she sings a little song that goes along with it. You can probably tell from the name that it ends with the monster tickling you. The kids love it. She wrote a play for our family to perform. She writes her own songs too. She is passionate and dramatic and so much fun to be with. She has a smile that is contagious and she makes us laugh a lot. Time has gone so fast. She is growing up and becoming a little lady more each day. We love her so much!!

Today we went to her school for her special day. We got to give a presentation about her and we made a poster that will hang in the classroom for the week. I read a little story that we wrote about her. I know she felt so proud- she was beaming. She was so excited to open presents this morning. W and E gave her a baby that swims. She also has gotten lots of fun things from our family. Her best friend Emily gave her two Ariel Barbies. We are planning a party for her and I will post more pictures of that after it's over.

Ash you are such an important part of our family! We love you more each day. We can't wait to see what you will do in your lifetime and what you will become!

Gracie Girl

Family Date

Once a month our family goes on a family date! We all get to choose one thing we want to do and then we go and do them all. This Saturday A wanted to get ice cream and fries at Arctic Circle, W wanted to go to the Park and E wanted to go to Toys R Us and play trains (surprising- but all of his dates involve trains :) So we did all of those things. Mom and Dad wanted to do those too, so we didn't choose our own activities this time.



First we went to Toys R Us. The key is to remember to bring your own wooden train- because they don't keep any out for the kids to play with on the train tables. E loved every minute. I think he could stay their all day. He had to point out every single train and tell us their names and what they do on the Island of Sodor. Wow he has a good memory. Some other little kids were jealous that they didn't bring a train to play with, but E was kind and shared.



The girls and I walked around and looked at all the cool girly toys. A had $20 to spend from her birthday. She finally decided on a pink poodle that she named Star. It's actually pretty cool because it is a part of the Shining Star collection and she gets to name a real star in the sky as well. She also chose a lovely bedazzler set. It comes with studs and jewels that you can put on your clothes. She has bedazzled several pieces of clothing- she thinks it's so fun. I love that kind of stuff- of course you can go over board, but there are only 1500 pieces so I'm not too worried- ha ha- it's up in the closet to be used under adult supervision.



After the toy store we headed to get ice cream. A loves cookie dough ice cream- but for some reason ordered a regular cone instead, but being the good mom I am- I ordered a cookie dough Sunday, because I knew she would change her mind, which she did and we switched. E got cookie dough too and W got chocolate- she loves chocolate just like dad.



Next it was off to the park. The girls are getting really good at the monkey bars, so any park we go to must contain monkey bars. E decided he wanted to run the entire time we were there, so he did. Our park has a huge field attached to it and he ran and ran. There were also some people there flying really cool kites and we got to watch them for a while. It was a great day, sunny and nice. Next week we are starting individual dates along with family date.

This is hard for me today to sit down and post. There have been some events this month that have made me really think about what it is I am doing. When I first started blogging it was a way for me to stay connected with myself. A way for me to express my passions and feelings and remind myself that I am real- sometimes I forget that, when I get caught up in the business of life.

Now the blog has evolved into more of a personal journal about my family. I love my family. But sometimes I think I forget to experience life- I worry, I have anxiety- I am always rushing and doing so many things that aren't even about our family and I miss out on some of the most precious experiences. Slow down and look around, I tell myself or you just might miss this all.

I have noticed that when I blog I instinctively think about what people will think when they read it- and it alters what I write or post. But this blog is MY record- for ME. I love sharing it, don't get me wrong- I think I just need to focus on why I am writing- and that is to remember the things that are important to me. Time goes all too fast. I can't even remember my children as babies. I want to hold onto the memories I do have. So I post them.....




Yesterday A taught herself to do a cartwheel. She says that she can do it, because she practiced and practiced until she did it right. She spent two hours practicing. She has also made friends at school and I am so happy that she has chosen good friends. Friends that share our values.



The other day I over heard her talking to W in the back of the car on the way home from school. She said that she and her friend had had some problems and they had to break up for a while- but then they decided to work out their differences and now they are friends again. She said it in those words- She is so grown up inside and yet still so little. She amazes me that she understands so much. I know I haven't been the best example to her. In fact the other day she asked me why I had kids, if I didn't know how to be a mom. I wonder that too- Being a mom is hard and confusing- but then when I hold her and smell her skin, I think, this is why- so I can hold you for one minute and then watch you become you.





A is passionate and dramatic. She is so beautiful and has her own sense of style. She stopped letting me do her hair when she was five. She doesn't care what we think about how she dresses or looks. She is confident. Maybe a little too confident sometimes. She is also so smart- she is an amazing reader. We read the Secret Garden every night and she reads it- she even understands the way they speak in Yorkshire. I have learned to let go of my expectations of how she is suppose to be and enjoy how she is. It's when I fight her and try and force her to be me- that she turns away. A friend once told me that your daughters will treat you the way they see you treat your mother and mother in law. This I believe is true- I have never gotten along with my mom and less and less so with my mother in law as time goes on. I know she sees this- she watches all the time. She hears me even when I think she can't. Do you know the song Gracie by Ben Folds. This songs describes how we feel all the time and it fits her because that's her middle name and we've always called her that at home.

W is kind- so kind, she shares with everyone. She hugs freely and loves deeply. She is so sensitive. She is a big tease too- she knows exactly what makes the others mad and she gets an evil look in her eye right before she bugs them. She is shy- she likes to have A protect her. If you believe in Karma- then you will believe when I say that my girls are my sister and me. They are just like us, in so many ways-I know I need to learn to keep them together, unlike my sister and I. She tells me that reading is boring- she'd rather swing and run in the grass. She loves to dress up and pretend. She is a nurturer- she loves babies and small animals. She is allergic to cats and dogs, but says she wants one anyway- just to look at and not touch. I had a dream every night for several months before I had A about a little blond girl wearing pink pajamas. When A was born I thought it was her- but I was wrong it was W. She came so unexpectedly. I know she was meant to be in our family and she keeps us together. She is always happy. Her and A make these little worlds and rooms. I love it- they can turn any place into a whole different place..a home...a far off land. They turn our bookcases into these worlds and I love to see them.








E is a little man. He is sensitive and so loving. He calls me his "Gal" and says he's my "Guy". He loves computers and video games and trains and not one bit of sports, like dad wishes. He has holes in all his pants from scooting a train on the ground all day. He can't think about anything but trains. He was saying our family prayer one night- and he prays so intently and really thinks about what he says- then mid sentence turns to me and says "Can I play trains for 5 minutes after this prayer" He does everything for himself, bath, dressed, make bed, fold clothes, etc. He is scared of the wind. He remembers everything. He reads to himself (not the real words, he can't read- but he would rather hear his own words) He tells me he loves me everyday.



A good friend posted what Elder Ballard said in conference:



"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children."


It helps me know that I'm in the right place. With the right kids. Doing the best I know how to do!!

Malia

We just want to give a shout out to our Aunt Malia. She ran a marathon today and we are so proud of her!!!! She is an incredible athlete. She makes running look easy and even fun!!

WE LOVE YOU MALIA!!!!!

Way to Go!!!

You Did IT!!!

Our Family

Here is a picture of the cutest family on the planet :) Mine of course. I want my family to know how much I love them. J you are the air that I breath and have been my rock. I love you more and more each day! A, W, and E you guys are so amazing and so forgiving of my mistakes as your mom. I love you guys in that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, home run kind of way. Because I love you all so much I am going to spend more time with you and less on the computer, cleaning the house, watching TV and running around like a headless chicken- you deserve it and I need it. The rest of the world will have to wait. I have been way to stressed and uptight and selfish lately and I am sorry- so here is to you- my beautiful family. I am giving myself fully to you.

-Love MOM

YES YES YES!!!

She did it!! Ali won The Biggest Loser!! I am so happy that a girl finally did it. I was beginning to think that it was an unfair competition because men do not gain or lose weight the way women do. But she did it!!

Way to go Ali!!!!!!!!!

Click here to see her before and after shots:

http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser_5/photos/#cat=635&sec=1851&mea=43946

Fashion Diva

A- has been learning to sew. Well as much as I can teach her. We were sewing tonight and this is what she created. I thought it was very ingenious. She cut it out and designed this look all by herself- she even did all of the sewing herself- I just threaded the needle. I think this is a look that could definitely become a trend. Look at how the fabric moves so freely when she spins and don't you love the "snap" detailing (this was an old baby onsie). She is so "fierce" as Christian would say (Project Runway Season 4 Winner).

Something to Ponder

There is something that I have been wondering about, so I thought I would jot down a few of my thoughts. Do you think it is possible that our perception of the way things look is altered over time? I mean do you think that after looking at something for so long, day after day, you start to see what the mind wants you to see? A few examples:

Yourself. You see yourself only in mirrors or pictures. Have you ever seen yourself in a picture and thought you looked different than the way you see yourself in a mirror?

Your Spouse. Do you see your spouse age? I mean you see them everyday- so the change would be so gradual- do you think that you still see the person you married when you look at them- even 50 years later?

This has been on my mind because I have seen a few pictures of myself lately and I looked so much different then what I thought I looked like. This is not to say I looked bad- just different.

I am beginning to truly believe that the mind sees what it wants to see and hears what it wants to hear. There is so much power in this thought, because it means that we can alter our perception- but how do we do that? And what do other people see? Just thinking.....

The Four Agreements

My snl introduced this book to me and I wanted to share it with all of you that read my blog. This is a book that will change your life forever. I needed to read this book this week. It has been a hard week for me and this book has given me an amazing new perspective on life. I love this book and I am already re-reading it. The four agreements are:


(The following descriptions are courtesy of Malia's Blog)
Agreement #1 - Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
The author quotes St. John 1:1, which says, "In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word is God." He follows up with, "Your word is a gift that comes directly from God...It is through the word that you manifest everything. Your intents manifest through the word. What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are..."

Agreement #2 - Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Agreement #3 - Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings; sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Agreement #4 - Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Thank you Malia for sharing this book with me. I would recommend this book to everyone.

Funny Kid

I had to take W and E to the eye doctor on Monday to have W's glasses adjusted. While we were sitting there waiting E noticed a pile of business cards for our doctor and kept picking one up and asking me questions about it. I told him to put it down because those were for people that needed to know the doctors information. To which he relpied "Then I can have one because I am people."

Here is the conversation we have had all yesterday:
E- "When can I ride on Thomas the Train again?" (We take him every year to the Day Out With Thomas)
Me- "Well he won't be here for two more months- then you and dad will go and ride him."
E- Runs out of room- then right back in-"Is he here yet??"

When I tell him no and that it is still the same day he runs from the room and says:
"AAAAH Dang It"

This morning he told me that cookies are very bad for you beacuse they are loaded with sugar. We said how do you know they have sugar in them? He said "Because they are brown and have chocolate chips inside."

I love his 4 year old brain!

Conference

Yesterday I had the most amazing experience during General Conference. It was so awesome to be able to participate in the sustaining of a new prophet. I am 30 and there have been five church presidents in my lifetime, but only four were sustained as new prophets since I was born. They were Ezra Taft Benson, Howard W. Hunter, Gordon B. Hinckley and now Thomas S. Monson. When Elder Uchtdorf asked the members of the church to stand and to sustain President Monson I was overcome. I have really struggled with my testimony the last few months, there have been some very doubting and confusing days. When our family stood and raised our hands I felt a powerful witness that President Monson is the true prophet- chosen by God. I know this is true. It doesn't mean I still don't have questions about a couple of things- but I don't need to know the answers now- or maybe never. I know that this is the only true church upon the face of the Earth. I know God is real and he knows us. I want so much to be close to him again, like I once was. I know that will require great effort on my part. A- came and sat by me after we sat down and she asked me if the people on TV were real people that really live today and I told her yes. They are real people. Conference took on a whole new meaning for me. Our kids were old enough to sit still for a lot of it, so we were able to listen to all of the talks this year. It is so wonderful to have the opportunity to hear the words of God through these great men and women.

OOOOPS!

Before

After- You can't see it too well, but her eyebrows are very pink! She did not want her picture taken!

This is a fake mad face- she was upset, but not like the others

Yesterday the girls asked me if they could use some makeup and dress up like clowns. I told them yes and they decided to use pink lipstick to paint silly shapes all over their faces. They looked so funny and cute. After about a half hour that game was over and so we started to wash their faces- OOOPS- pink lipstick stains skin. I am not accustomed to rubbing lipstick all over my cheeks, so it didn't occur to me that this would happen. I felt horrible because they were crying and so upset. A- asked me if her face would be pink the rest of her life. Luckily last night most of it came off with a little elbow grease and some Cetaphil. A-'s face is the only one still slightly pink. We can all laugh about it now. It was pretty funny to see my little pink babies- they looked like they had a weird rash or a sunburn. Ha Ha- Live and Learn.

I am just starting to figure out how to upload videos. This is one of E-trying to catch a bunny at Zoomars Petting Zoo in California. This was last year in March when we went to Disneyland. He could not figure out why the little bunnies didn't want to be held.

Our first toothless grin

At the end of last week A had a grown up tooth grow in behind one of her bottom front teeth. She asked me if any of the baby teeth were loose and I told her the front one might be starting to get loose since the grown up one had grown in. She was so excited and told everyone that she had a loose tooth even though it wasn't- my fault. I called our dentist on Tuesday and they told us we would have to come in and get it looked at. I told A that the dentist wanted to see her cool loose tooth, so we payed him a visit last night. Before I could even blink they were preparing her for an extraction. They gave her gas through her nose and numbed her bottom lip with a shot. She layed there perfectly still because at this point she still doesn't have any idea that they are about to rip her tooth out. She finally asked me where the doctor was and what he was going to do- so I told her that he needed to take out her bottom two teeth so that the big ones could come in. She asked me if it would hurt and I told her no, that the worst part is over. After that she was so excited to get teeth out. It was super fast and they came out so easy. She didn't cry or complain at all. Afterward she grabbed the box from the assistant and opened it to see the two little teeth inside. She could not stop talking the whole way home about how awesome it is to lose teeth and how excited she is to tell her teacher and to finally get her name on the lost teeth chart at school. Keep in mind that her bottom lip is completely numb, so she sounds like she has a lisp. It was so cute.

We were planning to go to dinner with the in-laws that night and A still wanted to go, even though she had to have a soft diet the rest of the night. We made her some soup to take with us to Wendy's. She brought the teeth to show grandma and grandpa and daddy and anyone who wanted to take a peak. I sat in the back of the van between the girls and I have never heard so many questions in my life. Like:

"Does the tooth fairy leave money if your teeth are pulled and don't just fall out?"

"How big is the tooth fairy?"

"How does she get the teeth out from under the pillow?"

"What does she look like?"

"What happens if you see her?"

"If she disappears does that mean she is dead?"(I told them if you see her she disappears)

"What time does she come?"

"How much money will she leave?"

"Will it be a million dollars?"

"What does she do with the teeth?"

"How does she get in the house?"

Etc. Etc. Etc. It was funny, then I wanted to turn to them and say "Alright already- There is no such thing as a tooth fairy and while we are at it you can forget the leprechauns and the Easter Bunny!!!!"

Well the tooth fairy did come and left $2. She was so excited this morning to find the money and the teeth missing. J wanted to save the teeth, but I threw them away because I think that is gross to save body parts- ha ha(Off the subject, but his mom saved the plastic ring they used to do his circumcision)

I can't wait to pick her up from school and see how happy she is that she is finally in the club!

Family History

My in-laws had their mission farewell on Sunday. They are going to Madrid. In my mother-in-laws talk she showed a picture of her grandmother with Thomas S. Monson. I love this picture. It was taken at her 80th birthday party. I never knew grandma, she passed away before we were married. It's pictures like this that tell the story of our family. I don't know very much about either of our families and I think that is a shame. I want my children to know about the great people that lived before them, where they came from and what our name represents. It is our legacy. It makes me feel a little closer to the prophet and makes him a little more real to our family.