The story is told of an old man who sat in front of a country store, whittling away, not making anything in particular, just whittling, chewing on a blade of grass and occasionally sipping a glass of lemonade. One day a station wagon with an out-of-state license plate and a car full of furniture, bags, pets, and children pulled up. A middle-aged man got out of the car and asked the old man for directions to a neighboring city.
" Can you tell me how to get to the next town?" asked the driver.
"Sure can," answered the old man, not missing a beat with his knife and wood. "Yonder," he said, pointing with his pocketknife. "Down that road a piece."
"Thanks," said the driver. "Say, what are the people in the next town like?"
"What were the folks like in the town you just came from?" asked the old man.
"Not very friendly," said the driver. "Always thinking of themselves and how to get ahead. We were glad to get out of that place."
The old man nodded his head. "I think you'll find the folks in the next town are about the same."
Disappointed the man got back into his car and drove down the road.
Not long thereafter, a second station wagon, also overloaded with furniture, bags, children, and pets, pulled up the alongside the country store. A middle-aged man got out of the car and asked the old whittler, "Can you tell me how to get to the next town?"
The old man told him, and the second driver asked what the people in the next town were like.
"What were the folks like in the town you just came from?" responded the old man.
"Some of the best people we have ever met. Friendly, always willing to help you out. We're sure going to miss that place."
The old man nodded his head. "I think you'll find the folks in the next town are about the same."
Pleased, the driver got back into his car and drove in the direction of the "friendly" town.
The old whittler in this story seems to know one of the great truths of life and one of the keys to interpersonal success: we tend to find what we look for.
Our mindset or orientation toward a certain place, situation, person or group of people usually determines the nature of that place, situation, person, or group of people. We can literally create the kind of experience we will have with someone or something by the way we perceive and what we expect from that person or thing. The essence of our belief in large measure determines the nature of our reality. Our thoughts and attitudes formulate our own self-fulfilling prophecies.
The Divine Connection by Lloyd D. Newell
I wanted to share this story to begin my list of things I am thankful for because it has changed my life and the way I see things. I did not find this story or fully begin to understand it's message until a few months ago. It has had a profound affect on the way I act and think and live my life. It continues to change me daily.
I am thirty years old and I have spent the last thirty years, six months and a few days living my life to please other people. I am a huge people pleaser at heart. Not the kind of person that always does things to genuinely make people happy, but the kind that does things out of a sense of obligation to what I think will make them happy. This is not to say that I never do things because I care about others, more that there are a lot of things I do because I think I have to do them to please others. Because I think this way I tend to create anxiety and stress in my life that wasn't already there.
For instance I will give you an example. Once a few years ago my sister asked me to pick her up from a concert that she and a friend had attended. When we pulled up to pick her up the concert had not finished and so Jeff suggested we sit and wait for it to end. We were in the middle of the street with two lanes of traffic in either direction. We pulled up to the curb and there was hardly any traffic and so we waited. After a few minutes I began to feel very anxious about sitting there in the middle of the street, despite the fact that we were parked against the curb, we were still blocking this lane of traffic slightly. I began to think about what all those drivers would think of me, sitting there, blocking their way. Yet I didn't want to leave either because I knew that as soon as the concert ended there would be thousands of people filling the area and how were we to ever find my sister. I just knew in my head that people were driving by and swearing and cursing my name and flipping me off. No one had honked at us, no one had yelled at us- but I just knew that we were about to be rammed from behind. I got so worked up in my mind that I finally flipped out and screamed at Jeff and cursed the concert for not being over and put the car in gear and sped off down the road and around the corner until we found an empty parking lot to stop in. I know Jeff thought I was insane and I frankly was. I continue to think this way ever time I get in a car. I purposely avoid driving at peak hours, taking left turns, driving on the freeway and well, parking lots scare me to death. I have a running dialogue for the drivers around me "Lady get out of the way!" "Where did you learn to drive?" "Quite blocking the lane- GET OVER, GET OVER!" These are the thoughts I think every time I drive. INSANE- yes I know- but that is what I had conditioned myself to believe and think. I have been driving for 14 years now and can you imagine how ingrained these feelings are in my mind. This is only one of several situations that I have come to make my anxious reality. The same holds true with lots of things like my neighbors, my callings, family gatherings, the kids school. How did I ever allow myself to feel this way? That is just what I have come to ask myself. Why would anyone want to live a life of anxiety and worry all the time. Now I have probably made my life out to sound like a wreck. I do not feel this way on a daily basis- I actually love my life. I have lots of happy memories and cherished times. I simply wanted to give you an idea of how powerful the mind can really be. I truly believe that the best thing about the human mind is that it will believe whatever we choose to tell it. I have just been telling mine the wrong thing for a very long time.
I want you to understand that I do know that all experiences we go through affect our reality and the way we think. I have been through hard things that have made me sad, angry, frustrated, desperate, lonely, etc. etc. I also believe strongly in the power of the adversary and that we are under attack all the time- Satan wants us to be miserable and to bring us down- to make us feel guilt, despair, anger, frustration, etc. That is not what we are meant to feel in this life. Heavenly Father wants us to feel love, hope, faith, happiness, joy and calm rather than anxious.
The story in large part has helped me to understand that we are in control of our minds for the most part. We can choose to feel sad or happy- we can choose to overcome feelings of guilt and replace them with feelings of hope. We can choose to make situations that have always been stressful- wonderful and fun. Am I perfect at this yet- NO WAY. But I am so thankful that I know this now though.
Some of the other things that I am grateful for are:
- A loving Heavenly Father
- Jesus Christ
- Family
- Jeff
- Ashtyn
- Whitney
- Ethan
- A warm house to live in
- Home
- Scriptures
- Temples
- Sisters
- Brother
- In-Laws
- Grandparents
- Mom
- Dad
- Marriage
- My cozy bed
- A car that runs
- Dance
- Writing
- Poetry
- Art
- Blue skies
- Flowers
- Paris
- Freedom
- America
- President Monson
- Prophets
- Joseph Smith
- Love
- Kindness
- A calm feeling
- 6 Nieces
- 5 Nephews
- Grass
- Parks
- Music
- Violins
- Hymns
- Bread
- Cake Decorating
- Donuts
- Never feeling hungry
- Sub for Santas
- Honesty
- Gratitude
- Izaac
- Shoes
- Warm showers
- Best Friends
- An awesome group of strong, smart, beautiful friends from High School that are still such a huge support to me
- Butterflies
- Long legs
- Laughter
- Little hands
- Kisses
- Hugs
- Icecream
- Pink
- Valentines
- Mountains
- Hiking
- Education
- Rain to make things clean again and the smell of the fresh new Earth
- Sunshine
- White soft beaches with bright blue water
- Hawaii
- The ocean
- Dinsneyland
- Churches
- Sacrament Meetings
- Covenants
- Books
- Book Stores
- Breezes
- Babies
- Journals
- Walks alone and with my family
- Bright pink trees in Spring and beautiful orange trees in Fall
- Windows that let the sun stream in
- Husbands that help all time
- Drives to no where special and seeing streets I've never seen
- Special plates to celebrate special moments
- Polka Dot bowls
- Zoos
- Life
- Stars
- Mattress heaters
- Hope
- Smiles
- Neighborhoods
- Water
- Traditions
- Sitting by the bay window in the sunlight reading a new magazine
- Faith
- Inner Beauty
- Prayers
These are just a few of the blessings I count everyday- I am so grateful for all that Heavenly Father has given me.
