Time

Here we are a month and a half into 2012.  Where has the time gone?  We've been up to a lot including...

1. I am the stage manager for our Stake Play.  We are producing the show "In Search of The One".  It is based on 5 true stories of reactivation into the Mormon Church.  It was written by a very talented actress in our ward.  She is amazing and has performed professionally at such venues as Hale Center Theater.  I love the stage- when I was up at Utah State before Jeff and I got married I worked for the Sunburst Club- I worked behind the stage.  Anything to do with putting on a show, I'm there.  It will debue the end of April.

2. We've been doing a little redecorating in our great room..

Wall Color- Tidewater by Sherwin-Willianms- but we had Kwal match it because we like that better

Chair- Pier One

Painting- World Market- We love hiking and this reminded me of our hikes

Curtains- I made these with Ikea drapes and fabric I got at Walmart

Lamps- Home Goods

Family Picture- I had this enlarged on canvas at Costco

Small side table- Pier One- you can't really see it but the base a branch with leaves and a small bird

3. We have a cat- His name is Ethan.  Our son has decided that he is going to live life as a cat.  The only requirement we gave him was that he must still go to school.  He sleeps in a cat bed, he scratches his sisters and he licks my face to say goodnight.  He even asks me to pet him when he goes to bed.  The other day we were walking into the store and he said "I can hear everything now- my hearing is very good and I can run so fast."  I said "Oh is that because you've been practicing at track"?  To which he replied "No, it's because I now have the blood of a cheetah and a panther and a cougar in my blood- now that I am a cat".

4. Happy Valentines Day- My favorite holiday by far.  Jeff gave me and the girls the most beautiful flowers.  I made him cookies and took them down to his work.  The kids all made boxes for school.  I did a pizza party for Ashtyn's class at school and we had a special dinner of heart shaped pasta that I found a World Market, salad, bread and sparkling pink champagne(soda).

5.  Jeff had to buy a new car- his old car we bought almost twelve years ago and it finally bit the dust.

Happy Birthday Ryan

Dear Ryan- Happy Birthday!  Your birthday is one of my favorite days not only because I get to think of you, but also because I get to write about your life.  I love to imagine what your life would be like. I love writing about what you would look like, what you would act like, what you would be doing and who I think you would be.  But this year I can not do that.  This year is special.  You are 8.  8 is the age of accountability- the age that you are baptized at in the church.  Your cousins are preparing for this special ordinance and to even begin to visualize you doing the same would completely diminish the sacred nature of your life- for you don't need baptism.  You are perfect, so I must write about your TRUE life instead.  I know that the life I imagine for you is not the one you are actually living.  It is one I fabricate in my mind to keep you alive to me.  Your true life is the one that you were foreordained to live.  It is a life that only included a brief interlude with this Earthly sphere.

I have heard it said that losing someone so soon is like witnessing a meteor shower- It is one of the most beautiful events you will ever see and only a few will be privileged to see it in their lifetime.  That is exactly how I feel about your life. Your short life here changed us all forever.  Some may think that your life was a tragedy- that you were ripped from our arms- that your death was cruel and unfair.  Not me- your life is nothing short of a miracle.  You did not need to stay for as long as you did- perhaps you did not even need to come. You are perfect- you did not need this experience- but you chose to come and be part of our lives and to bless us with more love, joy and hope than we would have ever experienced without you.  This was always meant to be your life.

 I know that you are alive, even now- doing the things that you were meant to do- being exactly who you were meant to be.    I feel a deep reverence for your life and the fact that I got a glimpse of someone as extraordinary as you.  It is the most wonderful thing in the world-  to know that you are already saved- you have already received your place in heaven with God.  You are far greater than we could have ever imagined you to be here.  We are the ones living a short life.   The life that you already live is the life we are all waiting to get to live.    To say that we still do not miss you every day or feel the pain of your loss, would be false.  But to know that you are not lost- brings an overwhelming feeling of calm to our hearts.  So today Ryan, I am rejoicing over you.  I love you, Ryan.  Happy Birthday!

"Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been a child like you.......You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel."