2019- Week 12(Mar 18- Mar 24)

DUP was on Monday. We had a nice visit and lunch as usual.

Ashtyn had a doctors appointment and right next door is a new ice cream place that sells BYU and  Aggie ice cream,. They had a drive through which was the best!

Ash departed on her long anticipated trip to New York. I made her get the Marco Polo app so she could send me video's of what they were doing. She loved every minute. She got to see the Brooklyn Bridge, Chinatown, Little Italy, Mean Girls and Wicked on Broadway, have a Broadway workshop where they learned a song and choreography from Mean Girls, sing at the UN, Time Square, another workshop with world renowned conductor and organist Kent Tritle, Empire State Building, Museum of Natural History, 9/11 Memorial, Statue of Liberty and a whole lot more. She learned to ride the subway, got lost from her group 2X, learned an important lesson about respecting other peoples beliefs when half the group left Mean Girls at intermission(apparently it was pretty raunchy with a lot of sexual innuendo so many of the kids were offended. It was a good lesson in sticking up for what you believe but that if someone doesn't make the same choice you do that doesn't mean their choice is wrong. It also taught that art is subjective and you can hate some parts and love some parts and that it is better to look for the good than focus on the bad. Also that you have to see the whole picture in life- if you judge every experience soley on one moment then you will have missed the bigger lesson involved.), experienced whole new cultures and got to have the time of her life with her best friends. She roomed with Baylee, Rylee and Syndey Evans. We missed her like crazy. I wore my St. Christopher necklace all week to protect her- I know I am superstitious and thought I need all the help I can get to deal with my anxiety all week. She got home early Sunday morning at 1 AM. We let her miss church because she was
so tired and starting to get sick. 

 

I think she was happiest to see her fur baby.

I took Julia to lunch for her birthday on Thursday. We went to her favorite the Black Bear Diner. We had just placed our order when I got a call that Ethan was sick and needed me to pick him up from school. We changed our order to to go and took the food to my house after we picked him up. Fries do not taste good after sitting for 30 minutes- but she loved her cinnamon roll french toast so it was a good meal after all. She is 86 now. Darn that she is closing her eyes in both pictures.

I've heard everyone talking about the new taco kits at Costco and I was finally able to snag one when I went this week with Melinda. It was so good and only $15(sold by weight) It comes with enough ingredients for 12 tacos.

I went ministering this week and we found out that Claudia will not be able to have anymore children. She is Ally's mom, the little girl I babysit frequently. We were all so sad so we decided to take her to breakfast on Friday morning. We went to Kneaders to get french toast. While I was there I saw this little metal lamb. I love the saying Easter is not about the bunny, it's about the lamb so I bought it to put up in our house for Easter. It had a little flaw on it's leg so they gave me a discount.

Whitney met with her college advisor to create a plan for her future. We grabbed lunch on the way home from Chick-Fil-A to celebrate a no school day and the end of the quarter. The kids did great this quarter. Straight A's from everyone- wahoo!

Saturday my mom and Melinda and I went to visit Liz in the hospital for her birthday. We took her lunch from Del Taco and had a nice visit. 

Jeff and I spoke at the Beehive Home in our ward this week. I have loved getting to help with the sacrament programs here. I spoke on Joy and the opening song happened to be There is Sunshine in my Soul Today. It was very fitting and the person giving the opening prayer also blessed the residents to have joy this week- I love when there are connections like this. None of that was coordinated other than by the spirit. Jeff spoke on the talk Stand Forever by Lawrence Corbridge. If you haven't read it go read it right now. It was a BYU speech.

Whitney spoke in our ward about how Come Follow Me has blessed her life. She told me before she spoke that I shouldn't be surprised that she has to lie a little because we aren't as good at the Come Follow Me as we should- I just laughed and said we are trying to be as good as you said and that is our goal so it wasn't lying ha ha.

The Bishop called and released Ashtyn from being the Laurel President.

The Hughes family came over to celebrate the March birthdays. We had cupcakes and cheese cake. Spencer and Meg announced their engagement. They will be married in August. 

We are so excited for them.

2019- Week 11(Mar 11- Mar 17)

One of my co-workers passed away unexpectedly in his sleep. His name was Mike Johnson. He took care of all the maintenance on the park vehicles including all the trains. I met Mike for the first time at the recent foundation dinner. Jeff and I sat next to him and his wife Jill. He was so nice and funny. He made me promise to come up one day early before work and he would teach me to drive the trains. I never went. Even though I didn't know him well it is a huge loss for the park and that made me feel so sad. I also feel sad for his wife who will have to live without her sweetheart now. I've known people who have lost sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents and children but the loss of a spouse is completely unique to all of those. I have friends who have lost a spouse and they describe it as physically having half of yourself die. I don't ever want to find out if that is true. They held his funeral up at the park.

We took Whitney's prom dress to be altered for fit and modesty. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

There was another snow storm this week. I had to take Whitney to school early and you couldn't even see the lanes on the road. It was awful. That meant Ashtyn had to drive herself and she said it was the scariest ride of her life. She tried to stop at an intersection and her car slid right through. I'm glad I didn't find that out till she texted that she was safe at school. It also took Jeff a long time to get to work so I was freaking out waiting to hear he was safe. I really hate driving in the snow and having kids driving in it is a whole new kind of anxiety.

This week was sophomore orientation for Ethan. I can't believe he is already going to high school. The madrigals performed so we snapped this photo of Ashtyn and Ethan and their friends Bev and Christian who are also siblings. Christian and Ethan have a birthday a week apart. We went and checked out the clubs after the main meeting but there weren't any that really caught Ethan's eye.

3/14 was PI Day- We don't need a reason to eat pie but this is a good one.

We went on our long awaited date with my old presidency and their husbands. We have been trying to plan this for over a year- even before we got released. It was the Seims, Twitchells, Olsens and us. We went to the Garage Grill. Jeff was the only one of us who had been there. He went with his siblings a few years ago but I was sick and couldn't go. The food was great. I had the BLT and Jeff got the Hot Lap Burger. It was so fun to hang out with these guys they are awesome. I was also counting this as our date for my anniversary of officially being a Shaw.

I had a training for work all day Saturday. It was so good to be back up at the park. There are so many new people they have hired that I felt kind of lost in the crowd this time but it was also fun to meet new people. After that training I had an activity day training. I will be helping with that program this Summer. They taught us how to make corn husk dolls so we could teach the girls.

After I got home I had to hurry and change so Jeff and I could meet his parents. We all headed up north to go to Avery Randall's reception. I really like his wife Jeri. She is so nice and she looked like a princess. It was also good to see Avery's mom Stacy who we haven't see since his parents got divorced. I always loved her and we got along so well. Their theme was the Mardi Gras so everything was purple, gold and green. We stayed and chatted with Shirlee, Kurt and Lori and James. I think most people had gone to their other reception the week before which made it nice that it wasn't crowded so we could sit and stay a while since it was such a long drive. Afterward we stopped at Chick Fil A in Centerville. Tom and Sharon gave us some money for Ashtyn for her New York trip. They always do this when someone goes on a trip and I love that and we will definitely carry on the tradition. While I was at work Jeff took the lights down off the house.

The leprechauns made their little visit on Sunday which was St. Patrick's day. They didn't play any pranks this year because they know that the Shaw kids are too old for shenanigans ha ha. I got to help in Primary again so I was in heaven. I think I have been asked at least ten times since being released. Multiple times each week. I love that!

After church we went on a walk. It has been months since we could do that and it felt amazing! 

 Ethan did the entire walk backwards- crazy kid!

Letter to myself in 2009

Jeff was reading my blog book he made me from 2009 the other day and noticed that I didn't include a single picture with my post about our vacation to San Diego. That made me sad because I took hundreds of pictures on that trip so I decided to look back through them and print off a few to tape into the book. When the pictures arrived this one caught my eye. It is our three little kids ages 8, 6 and 5. I looked into those sweet little faces and wished that I could go back to that simpler time and just give them one more big hug. I also thought -I wish I could go back and tell their mom all the things I have learned over the last ten years that I wish I would have known back then. Since I can't do that the next best thing is to write myself a letter.

Dear 2009 Self,

Don't worry! Your kids grow up to be even better than you hoped. They are all so smart, get great grades, make good choices, have strong testimonies and are preparing to make the leap into their own independent lives. Did motherhood get easier for you now- HECK NO! If anything it got harder. Easier in the sense that you don't have to do much for them anymore. They can cook, clean, stay on top of their own schedules and such, but harder in the sense that you have no more control over the decisions they make. You can't fix things for them. You can't take away the hurt they feel caused by friends, life decisions or the stress that comes with that transition. They still come to you for advice but all you can do now is listen, sit, watch and pray it all turns out how it should.

I am here to tell you that you are in the prime of your life. These are the good old days and they will pass you by so fast your head will spin in 2019. Here are a few things I want you to know...

1. Pay attention to your children every single time they walk into the room.

2. Let your eyes, your voice and the way you stand light up like a Christmas tree when you see them, like you are seeing Oprah, Jesus or Paul McCartney walk in the room.

3. Immediately get off your phone, computer, TV or whatever task you are in the middle of so that they know they are the most important thing in your world.

4. Don't shove them aside so you can wash the dishes, sweep the floor, weed the garden or anything else you think you need to get done and that would be easier to do without little people under foot. Instead do those things with them. Make those things fun, make them a game and have them be right by your side helping you do them so they learn that working together makes every job easier and so that you can have conversations with them all while teaching them life skills.

5. Never EVER yell at them. I can't think of a single instance the last ten years that warranted me yelling at the kids. Of course you need to correct them- but do it with love. LOVE will always win and is always the right decision.

6. Snuggle with them in bed every night. Even on nights when you are so dead tired. Even on nights when they have worn your patience thin. That is the magic hour when they will open up to you about their lives and when they will learn to trust you to be on their side no matter what.

7. Listen- DON'T LECTURE. They need a hero in this life- not one more person telling them every thing they do wrong. In fact I want you to erase these saying from your vocabulary right now...1. Why didn't you...? 2.You should have...? 3.What were you thinking? Those are counterproductive for your kids. They are going to make mistakes and asking them why they didn't make the mistake in the first place makes absolutely no sense. Mistakes are how they learn. Of course hind sight is 20/20 but at that point it is too late. The mistake has been made and you can't teach them to spend all of their time looking backward on what they could have, should have and would have done. Instead teach them to keep moving forward. Say things like...1.What do you think you could change next time? 2. I bet that made you feel sad/bad/mad what can I do to help you? 3.You are strong, you are brave and I trust you to make good decisions and I'm here to help you every step of the way.

8. Hug them- hug them long and hard a million times a day. Tell them you love every single thing about them and that they are a marvel and there is no one in the world like them.

9. Stop trying to force them to be you. They were born with their own personalities and own way of doing things so teach them to be who they are and that there is more than one way or your way to get to the same end result. One of your children is loud, she is bold and full of energy. She will wear you out and you will want to tell her to stop and be quiet- but DON'T. Her loud energy is her strength. Embrace it. Teach her to hone it. Help her to use it for good.

10.In the words of President Monson "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."

11. Check your motives for doing things. Are you wanting them to make perfect Easter eggs or are you painting eggs for the sheer fun of exploring the world together. If your perfect plans go awry it's almost always because your kids aren't perfect- so throw those expectations out the window and let the kids take the reigns in activities and don't worry about the end result. The fun is in the experience.

12. Don't do things for your kids- only babies need your constant care and attention. Even the smallest toddler can learn to do many things for themselves. Yes it will take twice as much work. Yes it will probably make a huge mess but you will cripple them if you don't let them learn and grow. It's like the poem about trees that says "the stronger wind the stronger trees". Their roots won't grow deep if they don't meet resistance. It is the same with your kids. They must struggle to grow so whatever you do don't make life easy for them. If they can do it themselves- LET THEM!

13.Do two things with them every day. Pray and Read. They will learn to come to you when they see you go to your Father in Heaven. Also kneel next to them when they pray and teach them to look to him in all things. Turn off the screens and read to them. Read good books. Take them on adventures through the pages of books- especially the scriptures.

14. Your kids are not more important than your husband. You never stop being a mother but you only raise children for a few short years and after that it will just be you and him so make sure he knows that he is the most important person in the world. When he comes home from work run to him, jump in his arms and kiss him for at least 8 seconds straight. Make sure your kids are watching so they know that you adore him. This will actually make them feel safe and secure even if they think it is the most disgusting display ever known to man.

15.Last thing to know is that you are doing a great job! You will never be a perfect mother but you are the exact right mother for those three kids. Don't beat yourself up every time you fail- you have to learn how to be a mother just as much as they have to learn to be good humans so be patient with yourself.

Good luck and I'll see you in 10 years.
Amanda

2019- Week 10(Mar 4- Mar 10)

Monday we had a DUP Board meeting to plan the rest of the year. We only go until May. Our camp is in charge of the lunch for the April Company Jubilee.

I updated the food in our 72 hour kits with actual food instead of those survival bricks. I think we will eat this much better and all of it has a year shelf life so I only have to replace it once a year. I tried to get food that was high in calories and did not require cooking- just heating up.

Tuesday I went with my temple group to do endowments at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple. It was just Alaina, Gretchen and I. The rest of the group goes at 5:40 AM so they can be back to get kids off to school but my kids are getting ready for school at that time so I like to go after they leave. I noticed some things I never had before this time. I really like the new changes. It has felt good to be in the temple more this year. 

Whitney had a dermatology appointment this week and because our insurance changed we now have to have a referral for every doctor we go see. I requested this from her doctor months ago but never followed up to make sure it got sent and sure enough when we arrived at 8 AM they never got it. The receptionist kept trying to convince me that I did not need a referral because the back of our card states that we don't but I have talked to our insurance many times and they have been clear that we have to have one. I finally convinced her to check with her billing office and they confirmed that I do indeed have to have a referral. Of course her doctor's office didn't open till 9 so we couldn't even call and get one. Luckily they had an opening later that day so we could reschedule. This has been such a pain this year to have to get a referral but I guess if it saves us money in the long run it will be
worth it.

I finally got my first issue of the Magnolia Journal.

Whitney applied to the Surgical Technology Program through SLCC. They have a special program that admits high school students. She had to apply to be an early enrollment student so I took her application down to the campus. She found out that they moved up the deadline for when  you have to apply so we have been scrambling to get everything submitted. She found out this week that she was accepted into the program. This means that half her day next school year will be spent in college. This also means she has to take classes this summer as well and that we have to pay college tuition. She has been talking to the professor all weekend to try and get registered correctly- it was giving her an error message because we had just barely submitted her application to the school. She actually applied to the program several weeks ago. Hopefully she can get it all sorted out. I guess we will have two college students next year instead of one.

Waiting for Whitney to take the placement test.

I found this in my draft post file. It's from 2011- I thought it was funny so I had to post it still....
Yesterday we were driving to Ashtyn's piano lesson.  Ethan was sitting in the back seat holding an unopened box of crackers we had brought for him to snack on while we waited for Ashtyn.  I hear him trying to open the box, so I say "Ethan don't mutilate that box, if you can't open it wait until we get there and I will open it for you."  I then hear him rip the box and get upset that it won't open properly.  "Ethan, I told you to not mutilate that box and wait for my help." "But mom I didn't know what the word mutilate meant."  He sure does now.

Ashtyn has to give a speech on Frank Abagnale Jr. for her communications class so she got the book Catch Me if You Can. It is so fascinating and I am hooked on reading it now. This quote stood out to me. My kids are always so embarrassed by our car- but this is exactly how I feel.

I ordered these at the end of last year and they finally came. Better late than never.

Thursday night we had a trek meeting. A brother from the church history department came and went through a time line of events with us for the Martin and Willie Handcart Companies. It was really interesting. I thought I knew their story but I learned so many new things and never realized just how far apart they were on the trail. They recommended we read the book The Price We Paid which gives more details about them. I went and bought it the next day because this story is really near and dear to me. I have three direct ancestors that were in the Martin company. Thomas and Alice Eccles and their daughter MaryAnn. I have been interested to know more about them so I also got onto family search and I found a story that I had never seen before. We are going to walk for them on trek. I am excited to be in the exact places they were when they went through all they did.

Nothing like making a late night churro craving. Ethan loves loves loves to bake things and I love to eat them.

Ethan had his second to last AP class on Saturday. I know he is sick of these classes but I know it will make a big difference on that test. 

My friend Melissa and I went shopping for trek clothes. Her and her husband are a ma and pa. We went to DI and found some skirts and shirts that will be perfect. I also bought a new apron from White Elegance because I can also wear that at work. My goal is to get all the things we need before June so that we can be ready and not have to stress out last minute. 

Saturday night was our stake conference adult session. I had to go late so that I could take Ethan to the stake dance. Whitney was out with friends and Ashtyn had her first day at her new job. She is a server a the Riverway Retirement Center- so doing the same things she did last summer at Legacy. I'm glad Ethan likes to go to these dances. I got to the conference about half way through but in time to hear our stake president speak about family and the things we need to teach our children. He specifically mentioned the law of chastity. He told us about a wonderful reference that is in the Gospel Library app. It teaches all about intimacy and is called A Parents Guide. It's under the Individual and Families tab. How I wish I would have known about it earlier. It has chapters for every age and stage and is filled with so much good insight. We have had many talks over the years about chastity with the kids and it should be something talked about regularly.

He also talked about how we should never go to bed with our phones or let our children have them in their rooms alone. I have felt strongly about that as well. 

The last thing that hit me so hard was a quote by Elder Ashton from the April 1971 General Conference that says this:

Following one of our recent general conference sessions, a troubled mother approached me and said, “I need to know what is meant by the statement, ‘No success can compensate for failure in the home.’” Knowing a little of the burdens this friend of mine carries in her mind and heart because of a rebellious, wayward daughter, I shared this meaning with her: I believe we start to fail in the home when we give up on each other. We have not failed until we have quit trying. As long as we are working diligently with love, patience, and long-suffering, despite the odds or the apparent lack of progress, we are not classified as failures in the home. We only start to fail when we give up on a son, daughter, mother, or father.

I loved this because I often feel a great resistance from my family when I try to get them engaged in the things that I feel impressed will strengthen our family. I have had many promptings to do certain things or make certain changes to the way we do things and I am often met with murmuring, even from Jeff. I told him that sometimes it feels like hiking up hill carrying four bags of rocks- them being the bags of rocks- them not wanting to come willingly- but me knowing just how amazing the view from the top will be. I do need to give them credit that they will do what I ask but it sure would be nice if once in a while they'd do it willingly and catch the fire a little quicker. There are so many times I feel like giving up. I know my time with them is short. That's probably why I am trying so hard to squeeze out every last ounce of the things of God for them. I also find myself wondering if I should even bother anymore because the time is so short and because they need to start making the decisions for themselves. That quote is why. Because my home will not fail them. They may leave here and go another way but while they are here I am going to make darn sure I give them all the goodness I can.

The conference continued on Sunday. This time they spoke about service and family history and a lot about repentance. It was a really good meeting.

2019- Week 9(Feb 25- Mar 3)

Monday was DUP. I was in charge of lunch with my friend Marilyn Fitzgerald. We chose to do lasagna, salad, garlic bread and cookies. We decorated the tables with a Valentines Day theme. I put my lasagnas in the fridge two days before to thaw out but they were still frozen solid in the morning so I ended up running late because they took so long to cook. I ran down and cooked my bread at Melissa's house and arrived just in the nick of time to set up the decorations. It was a fun meeting. I discovered that my friend Jana and I are 3rd cousins through Edward Robinson.

Ethan was in the school talent show. His PTSA group did a glow stick dance. Not sure which one he was so hopefully he is even in this picture.

Malia asked me to watch Ruby while she took Corban to the doctor so I had her drop her off at DUP. The ladies went crazy for her. She let them hold her hands and admire her gorgeous hair and oogle over her cute clothes. It was so cute. She helped me put all the decorations away and then we drove home in Malia's car so we didn't have to switch out the car seats. When we got home my neighbor Aleah came over to play too. Her mom asked me that morning if I could watch her and I thought Ruby would probably love to have a friend to play with too. We all played Barbies because Ruby said her dad plays Barbies with her. They played great together and then when Malia got there Corban and Aleah ran off to play. It was so fun.

I visited my first new scout, Madsen who turns 8 on Friday. I invited him to come to scouts this week. He is so excited. The Wolves is definitely the best age because they are so enthusiastic. We held scouts on Tuesday. This week we met at the church so we could practice a flag ceremony and then we talked about disabilites again. I told them about Shaquem Griffin who is missing his left hand and plays for the Seahawks in the NFL. Then we had them try to play basketball with a disability. First we tied their feet together and they had to sit on the ground. Then we had them try and shoot a basket sitting down. Then we tied up one of their arms and they had to play with just one hand. It was such a good meeting and they listened so well.

Tuesday also marked a very special day for me. It was officially the day that I have now been married longer than I have been single. This means I have now been a Shaw longer than I was a Hughes. We didn't do any kind of crazy celebration but I did tell Jeff he has to take me on a date because I am now officially all his.

Look what came this week! Wahoo!

Wednesday was parent teacher conferences at the High School. The girls had the day off. We went and visited with all of their concurrent enrollment teachers.

Daisy got groomed this week. Ethan was with me when we picked her up and it never gets old seeing how excited and happy she makes the kids. I am often frustrated with her but she has made a world of difference for the kids. Every kid deserves to have a dog. The bond is like nothing else. Daisy adores them too- well at least when I'm not in the room ha ha. These are the moments that help me not hate her. At least for a little while.

The girls are always wanting to buy facial masks to do. I do not understand the obsession- I never see a difference afterward and I look like a freak during ha ha.

Ethan has been working hard on his Eagle project. He is making art kits for the kids at the Kauri Sue Hamilton school for disabled children and adults. One of the projects is going to use empty toilet paper tubes so we asked all of our family and friends to save them. He needed 480 tubes total. We spent the week picking up all the tubes. Even Aunt Elaine brought some down.

My mom turned 70 on the 1st. To celebrate my sisters and Danielle and I took her shopping for a new outfit and to lunch. After lunch she came over to my house and Ashtyn did her nails and her makeup and Whitney did her hair. That night my brother and Regan took her to see Wicked. She loved it and I think she loved feeling spoiled all day. 

I went to Madsen's baptism on Saturday. It was fun to be back at the baptisms.

Shaw family dinner was at Kristy's this month. She made a yummy lasagna soup. It's been great to switch houses this year and makes things way less crazy. Guys we really need to assign someone to takes pictures.

Ethan is now officially taller than me- Since the girls are shorter I wasn't sure if he would pass me up or not. It will be interesting to see how tall he ends up.

Jeff, Ethan and I are hooked on a new Netflix show called The Umbrella Academy. It's about a family of adopted kids that are all very unique. It's a little violent sometimes and I'm guessing will get worse with each season so this might be the only one we watch- but it sure is fun to watch.

I wanted to document a few family rituals we have so we don't forget. The first one is called Navigators Council- maybe I've talked about it before. It's a time where Jeff and I talk and ask each other the same six questions. 1. What brought you joy? 2. What was hard? 3.What can I do for you? 4. What can I pray for? 5. Anything gone unsaid? 6. What is a thought, dream or desire on your heart? We talk every day but never this in depth so it's been really good for my spirit and soul to connect on a deeper level. We've been doing it for several years. Some weeks we get busy and forget so it's not always super consistent but it's been a huge strength to both of us when we make it a priority. We keep a little binder journal where we write down all of our answers. It's fun to look back over the years and see the things that made us happy or that we worried about or were wanting to work on improving. We also talk about our goals- we have monthly, yearly, 5 year and 10 year goals. Sometimes I get discouraged that I'm not making as much progress as I'd like in my life but as I was looking over our five year goals (because next year will be five years) Jeff pointed out that we are well on our way to achieving the goals and should focus on all that we have done right.

The next thing we do is after every family prayer we repeat our family motto- Shaw's Seek, Heed, Aspire, Work and then we sing the chorus of The Family is of God. The kids think this is the cheesiest thing ever but I hope they can recall it and it will be a strength to them when they move on with their own lives.