It's 2024 and everyone has a podcast, except me.

I don't know whether it is the current tech 'trend' or is it just that people my age are opting out of radio because we can't relate with the latest pop songs anymore or just feel a bit sad when the only songs we can related to are from the Retro/Klasik channel.

So people nowadays are either talking on their own podcast or listening to one. And also it seems like anyone who can speak, have a mic and internet connection have a podcast channel. Because obviously everyone has opinions and those opinions must be heard!

You can find any type of topic people discuss, and you just need to find one that suits your interests.

The popular one, which got me started was the Serial podcast which is about investigative report of unsolved crimes, specially about Adnan Syed who was accused and serving a sentence of murdering his girlfriend back in high school without any strong evidence that he did it. That podcast was probably back in 2017 (plus minus 2 years- i can't be bothered to do a thorough research).

Nowadays the podcast that I'm currently listening to varies from self-improvement, current events and entertainment. In no particular order here is the list. This American Life. Studio Sembang. Diary of a CEO. Keluar Sekejap. and few others yg kadang2 dengar, kadang tak depending if they appear on my youtube suggestions.

Anyhoooo... 

I actually wanted to say that I was quite excited to get to listen to this particular guest that appeared on two podcasts (generally it's unlikely to get excited about podcast topic, it's usually just 'interesting' at most)... and sebabnya guest dia crush aku zaman muda dulu. hahaha. that fashion designer yg jadi raja fashion Malaysia. Zaman dulu masa mak beli majalah Jelita dan Wanita tiap2 bulan selalu tengok dia kat dalam majalah. Back then the content is very limited, maybe you'll just get a page or two to know the man. But with a podcast you can listen to the content for almost 2 hours. It's great to be able to hear his story about how he started and how he got where he is now. Those interview just gives another level of respect when you learn about the guy.

that's a long introduction after a long hiatus and nak caerita pasal crush zaman muda. haha. okay, see you when I see you. Thank you for managing to read up this point here. Give me a shout out if you're reading this in 2024, or 2025.

Covid19 Lockdown

hello there,
If you're here by chance at this moment because of the worldwide covid19 lockdown, I welcome you and wish you the best of health to you and your entire family and loved ones.

We are here together although separated by social distancing. Who would have thought the world would come to this in such a short time?

in here in Malaysia where my new 'backdoor' government announced a nationwide Movement Restricted Order (MRO) or in Malay: Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan (PKP) on 18th March 2020. However, I've been in Self Isolation much earlier than that, due to one of the engineer at my workplace was Covid19 Person Under Investigation (PUI), and we had to leave the work premises for disinfection on 9th March 2020. So technically, I've been at home for 21 days. only going out to get supplies 3 or 4 times.

It's not like I didn't expect this to happen, because I've been following the news on this 'mystery virus' since that day I saw it on my twitter timeline in january, and been following the sub-reddit on this subject like an obsessed tin foil hatter. But it seems like the authorities did not take it seriously eventhough most of them had warnings of two months ahead of China. So, here we are, everyone in their homes in order to flatten the curve.

everything seems surreal and dystopian-like.

Going out to get supplies now feels like a very important and life-threatening mission that you can't avoid of not doing. Lists, route planning, path flows, pre and post preparation of getting and processing your groceries now is like handling a radioactive material. Just because we don't know if that thing we took from the aisle was touched by someone who has the virus.

at first, it was nerve wrecking.

When we were first sent home that Monday afternoon, I went all OCD and disinfected everything that I had touched and also everything that I brought back from the office. I never knew that person who was positive Covid and I hear that person was working on different floor from me. that makes my chances of getting infected low. But that didn't prevented me from the occasional feeling of feverish, some shortness of breath and panicky. Not knowing is a curse, it makes you worry. The only thing I can do at that time was go out for a run (at that time, running wasn't a crime yet) at the park near my apartment for a few kms just to check if my lungs could still function as normal. Hahaha. Anxiety macam apa.

It's the new normal.

After a week, we start to adapt to the changes that occur in our lives. Try not to take everything too seriously because it will burden us emotionally and mentally. Look on the bright side of life. there is always a silver lining.

If you've come here to my blog somehow during this lockdown or MRO or PKP or whatever you call it, do give me a shoutout. My prayers for everyone's health and wellbeing.

November 2017.. has it been that long since I last published anything on my blog?? Kesian.. tapi beginilah lumrah kehidupan, apa2 yang trendy akan menjadi basi lalu ditinggalkan menjadi lapuk dan kusang.

I am here because I need to just write down something as therapy. I think it might help. Maybe.

The past few days has been quite depressing and confusing. It's not the worst, but it has been so long that this black fog disappeared and now it has come and seems to be staying here suspended around me for an extended period of time; longer than usual.

I try to keep up my day by doing the usual things like wake up on a normal time and go to work, but I need to summon all my will to get out of bed and get ready. I try to go through my day by not being alone, like eating lunch with mates and make jokes with colleagues, laugh and talk like usual, it seems and sounds usual, but the moment I am by myself, I'd feel like a big fraud and exhausted of wearing a mask and pretending being 'someone' else (although it's me, weird but true) and at the end of the day I just want to be alone. And when I am alone, I hate this feeling that I have at this moment, because I feel like I don't feel anything. I also feel sad, but not sad like crying oh woe me sad, but just sad, sad for no reason.

So in conclusion, I hate being with other people because it feels tiring and fake, and I hate being alone because the demons just comes out. I hope this season will pass like it usually does, maybe it'll take a few more days for the skies to clear. I'll try to busy myself with other things.

I don't get happy-go-lucky people who go by their lives effortlessly. I grew up thinking to myself that being sad is my 'default' state.

I don't usually post this sort of stuff, usually it will go into drafts and then forgotten or deleted. So today I'm posting this shit, hoping that when it is published, it will be a release.

TEDx: SPECTRUM

(Nota kepala: I had this post drafted since January but hadn't got around finishing it, until today).

There's a high chance that you've seen someone shared a TED video on your social media timeline. So here is my share... TEDx Penang 2017: SPECTRUM

TEDx PenangRoad was a good start for 2017.

I was a bit hesitant to go at first because the ticket was not cheap (RM100) and the location was very far, about 1 hr drive from home. dekat Tanjung Bungah nun (*in Penang, if you have to drive >30 mins to get somewhere, it is considered FAR). Fortunately the event location changed to The Majestic Theatre, somewhere closer within the 30mins drive limit.

Prior to the event, the highlight speakers that I was really looking forward to listen to are Dr SJ Lam  (the your PhD who discovered a new method to kill superbugs) and Serina Hijjas, a prominent architect, but i know her as the sister of the yellow-Bersih-balloon-thingy some long time ago. Unfortunately, these two couldn't make it due to personal circumstances. I was disappointed, but the show went on regardless.

There were 11 other speakers that day and they did not disappoint and nothing short of inspirational. We had Judy Chen-Hopkins, Laura Francois, Monica Tong, Henrique Nasc, Stephen Hanlon, Dissa Ahdanisa, Jay Lim, Mehedi Hassan, Benjamin Von Wong, Sada Borneo. Here are some of them in grid pictures.

These are some of the speakers

TED: IDEAS WORTH SHARING

Earlier, I wanted to share in detail on what these amazing speakers shared with us, but I decided not to because it wouldn't be the best way to present this and it will be an exhausting read. Instead I'm gonna summarise the entire day in a concise manner.

All these speakers are ordinary people like me, but what sets them ahead is that they're doing extra-ordinary things that they believe in and passionate about it. Sometimes, that "extra ordinary things" doesn't have to be an extravagant thing that you have to do to make a change in this world. Your action might now make a tectonic shift in the world around us, but as long as it makes a dent, no matter how small it is, still counts as a good work. Just get off your lazy ass and go out there and make the world a better place for others.

Initially, Mehedi set out to help his fellow countrymen (Bangladeshis) to send money back to their families and make living abroad easier for them in the digital age despite of their circumstances (as we all generally know). He ENABLES PEOPLE IN NEED. In time, his good work is growing and I (followed his fb) am seeing that he is going places sharing his workings with others (look up MyCash Online)

A good work could also entails YOU working on BETTERING YOURSELF, which also will open up doors of opportunities for you and others. Dissa explained how her interests in learning a new language help her to eventually help people with disabilities earn a living (look up Fingertalk). Learn a new language, put yourself out there and you'll meet new people, chances are they are a lot of inspiring and amazing people out there.

The attitude of learning a new language is also important as Marianna Pascal mentioned, you have to throw away that feeling of insecurities and self consciousness. Focus on the other person where you want your point to go across and see if they understood it.

A good work could also be about making people or a system to realise about sustainability of the world that we live in. Judy shares her observations where a fragile/fail state (that has corruption, poor governance, poverty, devisions that cuts through religion, race) will eventually create youths that doesn't have nationalism and eventually fights in civil wars. Which is why it is important to have an institution that is resilient and honest to the rule of law. On a smaller scale, Laura invokes a realisation that the fashion industry is a big culprit to the environment. Dye pollution is the 2nd top water pollution and is destroying water sources. Here is where I learn about the importance of finding the origins of the clothes you wear.

Those were some notes about inspiration work and living consciously. Overall, I had a good time and met new people.

Sada Borneo performing Hey Ya in their unique style

Are we in control or we are in control?

Have you ever felt that you're in control in your life and then one day when you think about it you start having second thoughts that perhaps everything really have been in set out for you.

I believe that everything in this grand universe, from the macro to the submicron level, we are all dictated by a massive set of quantum algorithm that tells everything how to process and proceed to the next step. Imagine a computer code that runs a program.

The movements of the celestial bodies across the skies, the sun, the moon, the planets, eclipses, they can be predicted, calculated with certain formulae. This is akin to programming, just to put it plainly.

Living beings, although may seem to be going on about randomly in their movements. From another perspective, the human nature, a set of behaviours that are associated to types of people, may not be random at all. Our own self have set of behaviours that seems to be affected by the balances of chemicals that flows throughout our system. How we are brought up, what we are thought to do given certain circumstances, these are all part of the process that they follow through.

This brings me to predestination or fate.
Choose Your Own Adventure books were one of my favourite books to read. In those books, you read and play as the main character and as you go through the pages, when you reach a certain point of the plot you're given a set of choices on how your character will proceed. The outcome of each choices are different and it will dictate how your character will reach the end of the story; either a fiery death or succeed in your quest.

That is, in a simple way, of explaining how I think fate works.

In life, we make hundreds of decisions daily. Our life progress is based on the choices that we make. The outcomes of each choices have been written. The free-will given that puts us in control in our life is the options to choose. Think about the possible number of permutations. Infinite!

If the choices are already given/pre-written, then what are we really? Following the steps in the very intricate algorithm right down to the dot. Are we allowed to make non-scripted decisions? What happens if we do?

My mind is simply blown thinking of the grand design, the universal law that governs all the things in this life and beyond. If the worldly world is a computer, then life is an algorithm. How great the architect is!

Review: SuriHati Mr Pilot

Despite the hype I've seen on social media about SuriHati Mr Pilot (SHMP), I was quite hesitant to watch it mainly because it's a Malay drama. Don't get me wrong. I do watch Malay drama, but it's hard to find good ones nowadays plus, one big setback was the overly cheesy titles they are using nowadays, like "Suamiku Jatuh Dari Langit", "Aku Tundukkan Playboy itu" or something similarly cringe worthy.

It wasn't until I saw one of my online friend talk about it on IG that I thought I'd give it a try.

Tersangkut beb. Huhuhu... Nasib baik macam 16 episod je.

[Image credits to this site]

What I liked about this series is the entertaining story line of the first half of the series.
-The banter between the main character and their best friends.
-Kahwin paksa is a typical Malay-drama storyline these days, but to run away from it and then agrees to marry the same person later down the road is quite interesting.
-Watak Neelofa pun ada satu macam yg menarik dan misteri.
- Oh did I mentioned she plays an engineer?? I've been asking aloud for quite sometime now about how there is lacking stories about engineers; selalu pun Doctors or Lawyers, or Policemen or Scientists... but never engineers. Tapi dlm cerita ni Neelofa aku rasa lebih macam arkitek daripada engineer. but whatever.. aku bukan tau semua jenis engineer kerja macam mana. maybe dia civil or electrical engineer or water engineer.

Rants. Sebab aku terlalu invested dengan cerita ni... which may include spoilers...

- I get why Warda sanggup lari dari rumah ikut tingkap bilik yg tinggi (still in her engagement gown) sebab tak nak kahwin dgn a total stranger. i mean who does that these days? Are we living in remote village in Afghanistan that still holds true to arrange marriage? Nasib baik la kawan tu handsome. Tapi still...

- Warda ni pun kalau nak lari dari rumah dan merajuk dgn family pun, macam acah2 merajuk. Sebabnya dia lari pun duduk kat KL je, which is like one hour away from where her family is. The chances of bumping into them is so high, dekat MidValley, OneUtama, Bangsar.. KL kecik je. If I were her, I'd run to Melaka or Pahang, Kedah. Anywhere but KL and Selangor. Her second run away from home was more believable.

- I think episods yg cerita Warda & Ejas sebelum berkahwin lebih menarik daripada episod lepas diorang kahwin (I think episod lepas jumpa nenek up until episod 12 or 13). Those episodes are the most mushiest ones ever sampai rolling mata tak larat nak tengok. Kalau tak manja, gaduh. jeles, gaduh. Baik,gaduh. gaduh, gaduh. all because both have large ego and don't know how to communicate with each other. I think all their problems can be solved with honest communication with each other. They talk to their friends about problems, but they don't talk to each other. Dua2 pun tak trust masing2. Dua2 pun ego besar macam gajah.

- So Warda is asking Ejas to ceraikan dia, tapi Ejas tak mau kan. Why doesn't she go and ask for a fasakh? kan senang. Mungkin sebab dia masih sayangkan Ejas. Sebab tu sanggup gantung tak bertali hampir 5 tahun.

- Wow, I can be a relationship counsellor lah like this.

- One thing that I noticed in this drama is the high affinity the actors have towards their jackets and sweaters. Setiap scene pun (except masa dia pakai baju pilot) they'd be wearing jackets and sweaters. Konfius aku diorang ni duduk KL ke Bukit Fraser?
It wasn't until I watched the director's interview that I understand that they wanted to do a korean-drama like show. hence the autumn clothing and the pastel colour palette.

- Warda's tudung game is always on-point. No wonder lah dia tidur pun pakai tudung. sebab perfect gila. haha. If you have a good hijab day, you'll definitely want to wear it all day long.

So, what to watch next?

2016 Round Up

I’ve started drawing mind maps for new year resolutions for the past couple of years. I don’t know whether helped me achieve more goals or not, but it helps to serve as a checklist whenever I look at it once every few months or so just to see how I’m doing.

So, shall we see how I did?

Goal 1 (Self):

1. I didn’t manage to do 2 tafseers this year. Only did Yaseen during Ramadan. I hope it had quality. I was being brought up with Islam being a cultural thing, where we read the Yaseen when someone is on their death bed and when visiting graves. Before this, I associated Yaseen with sadness. However, learning about the this surah is eye opening. It reaffirms the faith of the dying (and the living), it tells us about how beautiful heaven is, so you don’t have to be sad when parting this world. This is only a small portion of an overview of the tafseer (from my understanding).
2. Easing away from social media in this day and age is very challenging. I think we are all addicts. Or maybe just lonely souls trying to find a kindred spirit in the virtual space. I do find it overwhelming sometimes when I get on Facebook and Twitter. Even more so when I read comments on public pages where people argue with each other over stupid things. I don’t know why I read them. I took it to my own self to take one week away from social media (Facebook, Twitter and Instagram) for every month. And on my birthday month, I decided to take a month off. It gives me a short time of peace and quiet, time to focus on things that I think I should be doing, like reading books, doing actual research and do some soul searching. I think i will continue this effort next year.
3. Hahaha.. mimpi lah kau 53 kg. Pfft… okay, but I did manage to go to the gym more this year and also made it almost compulsory to attend the Aerobics class every Wednesday. And at one time, became a regular at our neighbourhood hiking trail. So maybe I didn't shed down to 53kg, but I am living a healthy lifestyle. At least.
4. Speed Reading.. nope. I think I still read about 400 wpm. No improvements, but I could speed it up when I read articles online. I am using Spreeder.
5. Nope. No Macbook Air. Those things are soooo 2012…. I got a better one instead. Macbook with no Air :P and it is Rose Gold in colour. If only I had known how easy it is for a PC user to get used to a Mac, I would have done it earlier. love should be easy like this.
6. It’s challenging to be disciplined for this one. I will try again next year to spend 1 hour doing something that will better myself.

Goal 2 (Family):

1. Being kind and patient towards parents is a continuous work in progress. I sometimes catch myself being rude and hasty with them, which makes me feel very guilty and sad for myself. Tak senang nak jadi anak yang solehah.
2. Ini pun sama. I try to make it a point to help mum in the kitchen and with her stuff around the house. But sometimes I let her do it in the pretence of letting her do some exercise. Boleh ke?
3. Ok all the goals here are work in progress. Jangan berkira sangat dengan adik beradik.
4. Same as the above. Although sometimes tak boleh tahan dengan perangai, but blood is thicker than water.
5. I’m trying hard. Sarcasm is embedded in me. That's how I cope with annoyance. But let's try harder next year.

Goal 3 (Work):

1. There is a story behind this goal setting. It was about a year ago, I accidentally did something that I can’t reveal here and when I realised it, it’s too late to retract my actions, so I pray to God that no one took advantage of it and cause any massive damage.
2. Jangan malu bertanya dengan senior atau boss kalau tak tau. Biarlah kau rasa macam bimbo, asalkan kau tak syok sendiri buat benda yang salah.
3. Multi-tasking takes away your focus. I now write down the tasks on a sticky pad and continue doing multi tasking and once in a while glance back to that note to see if I missed anything. Tapi it's hard not to do any other things when you're running simulations that lasts for days. I read a lot of articles online on a variety of subjects, but I know I should be doing research on my engineering work.
4. I learn to help without hoping for anything in return. And sometime, go some extent further in helping other people with their job.
5. This is a lost cause.

Goal 4 (Social):

1. I try to do volunteer work whenever I think I can. Although I think I should do more. Help students with their school fees. Try to give to the masjid donation boxes whenever I stopped by any masjid to pray. Give to verified charity organisations and tahfiz schools.
2. “Be open hearted”, I know that is not a correct phrase. What I meant was -> buka lah hati lebih sedikit. And be kind hearted. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle, physically or spiritually. Kita tak tau sebab apa orang tu macam tu, everybody deserves a second chance. Dulu aku macam strict, one strike and out. I’m trying to be more lenient and more patient with people.
3. Get to know people better and with good intentions. This particular item stems about this one person whom (ok mengumpat pulak, tapi korang tak tau dia sapa) i just met last year. At first he seems like a nice and friendly person, until all hell leashes out. Rupanya dia ni parasit dan hanya berkawan utk keuntungan dia sahaja. So I decided not to be like that person.
4. Turn up and be present. This basically means, when invited to a gathering, i have to make my best effort to attend if possible and not give any lame excuses and when I am there, no playing with the phone. Be there in the present company and pay attention. So this year, I have made it to a few gatherings, but I’ve also skipped a few.

My #bestnine in 2016. Krabi made it to the top. Melbourne didn't. Pokemon also made the year. Gambar almari dlm masjid. Social unity and two selfies.

A photo posted by Dyanنa (@dyanna299) on Dec 8, 2016 at 3:00am PST

So that is 2016 summed up based on my January goals. Let’s move on to 2017.

The "Before..." Trilogy

I spent the last long weekend watching Rich Linklater's trilogy - Before Sunrise, Before Sunset & Before Midnight (or what I call it The Before ... Trilogy). And I loved it, regardless of what the people who wrote a 1 star rating about it in IMDB. It's a love story.

In a nutshell, it's a story about two people connecting with each other. They just talk. About everything and about nothing. In all 3 movies, they talk, that spans about 1.5hrs per movie. No fighting bad guys, no epic journeys, no robots or monsters or ghosts. Just two people talking.
(Yup, my review is as shitty as those people who gave it 1 star, but I'm rating it 4 stars)

Have you ever been in an engaging conversation with someone you just met and you enjoy each other's company that both of you don't want that meeting to end? The first movie is about that.

Then they parted ways, but agreed to meet again after 6 months without exchanging any contact information and leaving it to chance. Of course, they didn't. However, they met again after 9 years and spend the rest of the afternoon talking again from where they left off. And that's the second movie.

In the last movie, it's after another 9 years where they're now together and this last one is a bit more serious where it elaborates the complexities of a relationship.

==============
Side note: Seeing Ethan Hawke in 1995 is a sight for sore eyes. However, I think he didn't aged gracefully because 9 years later, he looks worse and 18 years later is like he's off a cliff. Well, I think it proves that good looks doesn't last forever. Julie Delpy on the otherhand, ages like wine, better with age (not that I know how wine taste like).
===============


 In my opinion, what makes this movie about two people conversing with each other INTERESTING is that female character, Celine has her own thoughts and opinions. The male character, Jesse, is not intimidated by her intellectuality and does not condescend her. And both have fascinating conversations.

It is akin to meeting your girlfriends over some drinks. You can sit at the coffee shop for hours and have no shortage of topics to talk about. It did strike an interesting thought that if the male character was swapped with another woman, it'll be a story about two girls having never ending chit chat. Mungkinkah si lelaki ni bersifat seperti wanita? Sebab it is rare to find guys who's like the male character. Yg tak pandang rendah pada wanita dan try to shut down all her thoughts and opinions because he thinks he's better than her in all and every aspects.

Different from the 'commercial movies' ways, the female character is not hypersexualised like they usually are in most movies.

I guess another point of interest that holds the movie together is the subtle sexual tension that exists between the two throughout the whole movie. This movie is like watching two people flirting with each other for 2 hours! hahaha...

================

In our lives, we'll meet many people, some of them you only meet just once in a lifetime. For one reason or another, that chance encounter is one we'll remember for the rest of our lives.

That one person you met when you and your girlfriends are out on a holiday trip in another city. A small talk with a stranger at the hotel lobby while waiting for your friends to get ready upstairs, although just kill the waiting time and a bit awkward at first but leads to some interesting knowledge that we have a friend in common. What a small world.

It would have been a passing thing if not for a coincidence that we share the same flight back home. Made way to greet the new friend, who is now a familiar face in a strange city. We talked about general things and stuff that interests us. Went about the airport shops commenting on how lousy and expensive the selections are. A stranger now has slowly transformed into a new friend. Allowing another person to come into your space and enjoy that person's company for a short while because somehow there is a connection.

Upon landing when the journey ends, said goodbye to each other, but secretly wishing that this meeting go on. And then spending the rest of your remaining lifetime questioning your life decisions.

I think this clip sums it up perfectly well. No subtitles, but it's from DDLJ.

====================

i realise that I was only talking about the first instalment of the the trilogy; Before Sunrise and then went on rambling about something else. But trust me, if you liked the first one, you'll love the rest.

These movies, it not for everyone. It is an acquired taste. So... yeah.

Mr Robot S2 (Warning! Spoilers! Ahead!)

Warning! (Again!) Spoilers! Ahead! READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL

I think the build up of season 2 was extremely slow. From every episode starting from 1 to 4 or 5, I slept halfway through the show. I don't know whether it was actually dead boring or purposely intended to be so just to tell viewers how boring life is when you're living it in a routine. Routine. That is what Elliot's life was at that moment.

When it did build up, it blew over, in the most unimaginable way that I think was possible. I knew something was 'off' about the mundane routine and the people he interacted with, which turns out to be the rose tinted glasses that he put on to shut himself from the reality that he was facing, living in prison.

Season 2 gave us a bit of a back story of how F-society and Mr Robot was founded and how the group members met. So, at least I know how it all started.

My favorite episode was the one where Elliot's life transfigured into an 80's comedy sitcom, complete with 4:3 screen and audience background laughter. The whole family was on a road trip to somewhere. I enjoyed that episode very much probably because there was so much sunlight as compared the normal setting that they are always in.

After the reveal, the story picks up well.

Angela; I still don't know what is her role in all of this. Is she an outsider or an insider? What is her motivation for doing all this and is she on a solo mission for revenge? Is she just into old guys and wanted to live a rich lifestyle. Or is she really the boss in this whole conspiracy?

Dominique; the FBI agent that is obsessed with the case she's on because she doesn't have a life of her own (she admits it). It's kinda sad, but there are real people out there like that. She puts on a brave front when she's at work, but when she's alone, she let her vulnerability be known, only to a virtual assistant called Alexa (isn't that like Amazon's version of Siri?)

Dark Army; crazy Chinese internet mobster gang. The enemy of my enemy is my friend? One thing for sure, the leader has some cross-dressing mental issues. But as I am typing this I am starting to realise that it is probably a clever way to dissociate yourself, when you're the govt minister, you have to have an alias if you are to also run an underground organised gang as your second job. #duakerja

Darlene; if only she kept her shit together. things might've gone in a different direction, as planned.

Elliot/Mr Robot; I don't actually know what his plan is, but for a mental dude to execute such an extensive and elaborate plan and kept it from himself (bi-polar?) is literally, brilliantly mental. The struggle within him (konflik dalam diri) to let Mr Robot dictate his life or to take back control is interesting to look at. I think this is the same case as that cross-dressing Chinese minister. A way to feign innocence when you're executing your master evil plan.

Tyrell; ok this dude is crazy. Who shuts himself from his own family and the world in an abandoned warehouse for three months?

I like TV, but I think I liked it too much for my own good

I love TV. For me, it's the equivalent of books, saying it in a crude way.
While I was growing up, TV used to be make us disciplined. Me planned our days activities based on TV schedules.
Pagi = sekolah
Tengah hari = I think there was a drama show during lunch time, then go for mengaji Al-Quran
Petang = tengok cerita drama Jepun, then play outdoors
Malam = doing homework while watching Pi Mai Tang Tu or 3+1
Sabtu = the reason why we don't sleep till noon is Saturday cartoon shows!

Remember "Intisari Rancangan"? I used to read it to see whether there'll be any interruptions to my daily plan.

You have to watch the show as they are aired on the telly. If you missed it, then you'll have to ask your friends at school what happened. What ever you get to watch was decided by the TV station (and your parents). So maybe you don't like like wrestling shows, but you have to watch it anyways because majority wins. Or the only good show on TV that night was Hiburan Minggu Ini (it's really a good show, especially when there was Sudirman that one time).

The VCR came and helped us a bit with watching shows that we missed; IF we know how to set the timer to record the show On-TIME. Imagine the disappointment of returning home after a long weekend lunch outside only to find that the VCR did't record the show because the clock on the LED display was blinking 12:00.

Nowadays, everyone has their own screens, minimum one per person. TV shows now has cloned themselves into apps. With just a decent internet line, you can watch anything you want anytime you wish. The TV stations doesn't have a firm grip on your life schedule anymore and more power to the people. Isn't that dandy?

Well, not so. IMHO, too much of a good thing is not really that good.
take it from my own experience of binge watching episodes of Criminal Minds or Downton Abbey in one day just because I can. Tengok sampai rasa nak muntah. I'm happy while I watching the show, but after a day gone by, I am filled with shame and regret because of wasting a whole day in bed like a slob. Then comes next weekend, I'll repeat the cycle. Binge watch, and feel bad for myself, then repeat. I am an adult. Imagine children being given the same freedom of choice. I think they'd also want to watch Upin & Ipin sampai minggu depan.

Ko displinkan la diri ko.
Yeah, tell me about it when you can overcome the suspense of the clever cliffhanger that is soooo high up there that makes you want to click "Watch Next episode" while quietly saying this to yourself "it's only going to be 43 mins" and then realise 5 hours later that half a day has gone.
Or that sneaky show that you've watched before, but you forgot how it all started so you go and find the Pilot episode and got sucked into watching the rest of the season. Ha!