One Fine Morning...

I thought I'd highlight a little of what life is like for us here in Singapore in the midst of the pandemic. It might make me smile in ten years to remember all of this. Or it might be interesting for someone in my family reading this decades from now. Or, maybe most of all, the act of writing it will be cathartic in some way as the weight of this pandemic seems to be compounding on my shoulders. In no particular order, here are some of the features of life as an Expat in Singapore in the Covid 19 Pandemic: 1. The masks. Oh the masks. Who would have thought they'd become such a political thing? They are, anyway, in the United States. Masks aren't a big deal here in Singapore; or, maybe it would be better to say, the decision to wear/not wear a mask isn't a big deal. That's because there is no decision or discussion on the matter. The government has mandated that we wear them when we are in public. Period. End. Don't wear it and face a huge fine and, if you'r...

I've been thinking lately about how much we've adjusted and learned in ten months' time.  When we first arrived in Singapore, it was amazing to us how much time and energy we expended in just completing the tiniest tasks. Getting our family fed every day became a challenge: where was the grocery store? What could we buy there? What could we reasonably make (that was remotely palatable) with just a frying pan, a knife, and a spatula (turns out, we learned, quite a lot!). But wait-- recipes that we were used to often required buying imported "Western" food, and that came at a premium. Sometimes the local grocery store had chicken. Sometimes it didn't. Other times there was pork, but not usually the cut or style to which we were accustomed. Maybe it would just be better to eat out? But where? We found a grocery store close by, but the only way to get there was to walk. 15 minutes one way in 100+ degree heat with high humidity: ok, no problem, but...we were consta...

The illness that has become a pandemic affecting every country in the world began for us in January 2020, a couple of weeks after we arrived. At first, it was just a part of a conversations, like the one we had at our neighbors home when we were their guests at a Chinese New Year Luncheon. At that time, there were some cases that were in Singapore, but in very small numbers. Life as we knew it didn't change for many weeks, though the news began covering the story more closely and the daily count of cases in Singapore became something I was aware of and began to follow. By February, the virus was spreading. There were discussions about what could happen if the numbers spiked, but Singapore seemed to really have everything in hand. We worried, but not too much. Gradually, some things in our daily routine began to change, like experiencing temperature screenings at at places like the Marina Bay Sands and Trent's office building. Soon I began having to fill out a temperature...

Moving to Singapore brought with it a certain level of celebrity that was fun for each member of our family for a long time. Lillian in particular seemed to relish in letting people know she was leaving New York for a fabulous and far away country called Singapore. As a well-known member of her school community, Lillian really took the school by storm in letting them know she was off on a grand adventure. All through the months of waiting for the paperwork to be completed, that thrill of something new and the "oh wow!" that inevitably followed the explanation that we were moving to Singapore propelled Lillian through the waiting period. Even though she had no idea what living here really meant, the idea of it was novel and exciting, and for a long time, that was enough. We arrived in January and from the glorious plane ride over to the fulfillment of my children's dreams to live in a hotel, the notion of Singapore continued to be in total agreement with Lillian. Sh...

I remember the day the movers came to our house in New York. I opened the door with a smile. There were four or five guys dressed in matching red shirts standing on my front porch. I've moved probably 25 times in my life, but until that day, I'd never had professional movers do the job. I marveled at the idea that they'd just swoop into my house and pack everything up  and make things so swift and easy for us. The first thing I said to the moving foreman, after he'd introduced himself to me, was, "Well, hello! I'm excited you're here. I've never moved internationally before, so I don't quite know what I need." I keep thinking of that moment. I've thought of it a thousand times since, because it was just so darn true. You don't know what you don't know, and so--what can you do? You move forward, a bit blindly, trusting that it's going to ultimately be ok but knowing that you'll make some mistakes too. We made lots of si...

This is a story about the day I lost my kids in a foreign country. And it all went down on the bus. I'll start this one by saying that I didn't want my kids to ride the bus. In NY, I felt like if something was going to go awry (think bullying, sharing inappropriate content on cell phones--my kids don't have one but their seat mates did), it was going to go down on the bus. And so, despite the incredible convenience of a door to door pick up and drop off, then, we ultimately began driving to and from school when we could. It spared the kids a rather uncomfortable (no a/c on NY buses) and long ride and also spared us all the dozen other things they were introduced to on the bus (Swear words! Momo! TikTok!) That said, when we arrived in Singapore, the bus was our only option--and it was a really good option, actually. These buses are fancy . And Singapore in general runs a pretty tight ship when it comes to allowable/sharable content. And there's plenty of helpers on t...

We've lived in Singapore just shy of two months, and just recently we got a car. Having a car has made me feel like we really live here. Previous to that, I felt like we were tourists on a very extended tour. I love the easy accessibility of Singapore, and I'm grateful for the cheap, quick, and efficient public transportation system. I'm also grateful for the fact that we didn't have a car for several weeks because it made us learn the public transportation system in ways that we likely wouldn't have if we had gotten the car quickly. Lack of having a car in the driveway meant that every task--from grocery shopping to getting Lillian home from school if she stayed late for peer council--required lots of extra time and extra planning. For example: one day, the chicken I'd set aside for dinner went bad. It was 5:45 and we didn't have food for dinner. We also didn't have any other means of transportation than our legs to walk us somewhere. So, we walked ...

On December 30, 2019, we moved to Singapore. It's nice to say that. I like the freshness and crispness of a new beginning, and that's exactly what we're experiencing: a rebirth, a new beginning. After almost 13 years of living in Upstate, NY, and after all that we learned there, it was time, we realized, for a new adventure.  How did we realize that? I don't really know. It happened on a subconscious level. We knew inside that it was time to move on. We felt the universe propelling us in a new direction. Kinda like how Scout says at the end of Mockingbird, "we figured we had learned all there was to learn, except possibly Algebra." The process to get here was a long one, stemming from an idea that began percolating more than 5 years ago, for Trent to open an office for his law firm somewhere in Asia. For years they discussed and debated the merits of launching an office in Hong Kong, then China, then they looked at other strategies, and then they circled...

I wrote this in 2017. I like it. I never published it. Here it is. I've started meditation. I spend about fifteen minutes a day listening to a very calm voice on an app on my iPhone tell me to listen to my breath, and I do, and it centers me. I started meditation because I'm finding that the way the world swirls around me has, especially lately, been enough to take that breath away, and I need help to recenter and reconnect to myself, help to breathe so I can quell the anxiety that seems to bubble up out of nowhere, like when I'm sitting in a parking lot or preparing lunch or any other mundane task, and I clutch at my heart and take a deep heavy breath and feel like I'm carrying a stone that keeps growing heavier. The anxiety I feel is not related to any one thing or event; rather, more like a reaction to the wild cacophony of events that are around me. Things that for my whole life I've sort of taken for granted feel like they're in flux or falling apart....