Holidays

Merry Christmas Season! I love this time of year - music, decorations, scents, foods and drinks that are typical for this season. It would feel much more complete with snow though. Maybe one of these days Colorado will actually have a winter again.

We had a great Thanksgiving this year! I hosted my family and some friends in our new place. The food came together nicely and we had great company. I feel like it was an overall success - except for the part where I forgot to take a single picture. Shame on me!

Christmas is fast approaching and we'll do a little of visiting people and a little hosting. I enjoy spending time with our families and I wish there were more time to also just relax and stay at home with our little family. I'm sure Jude will be showered with unnecessary toys and train loot this year. He'll have a great time and then for the next 2-infinity weeks, I'll have to explain that we do not get to open presents every day just because.
My last post was just before Halloween. We took Jude trick-or-treating with some friends and had a great time. However,  he still thinks that candy is a suitable meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner and everything in between.

Here is Sir Topham Hatt and our little Pumpkin!

Titus is 4 months old today! In the last 2 weeks he has started grabbing at toys and has been more interested in his surroundings. He rolled over for the first time just a few days ago and much to my surprise has continued to roll over since then. He has been sleeping for about 11-12 hours at night pretty consistently for the last few weeks (with a few rough nights here and there). He loves attention from his big brother and Mommy and Daddy. When he is sitting in his bouncy chair while I make dinner and Ross and Jude are playing around, he will begin to fuss until someone pays attention to him. Once he has our eyes, he is all smiles and giggles. Ross can make him laugh the best - he gives me an occasional chuckle but I'm definitely not the funniest of us two. His reflux still lingers but I believe it is getting better day by day. We've decreased his medication because of some side-effects that weren't really worth the benefit of helping the reflux (we were trading one problem for another and it didn't seem fair to him). He is a snuggle bug and loves to be held and cuddled.

1 Month

 2 Months

 3 Months

 4 Months

Jude continues to be hilarious. His latest antics include:

"Mommy, go away. I pway wif Daddy"

J: "Mommy, I throw ball at the Christmas tree"

M: "No"

J: "I can throw it at the couch though"

"Daddy, do you know the train museum? Let's go to the front door and go to the train museum!"

He loves to sing and quote his favorite characters like Thomas, George, Veggie Tales and others. Currently during his "nap" he is up in his room singing "I want a train!" to the tune of Veggie Tales. He continues to amaze me with how quickly he picks up language and conversation. I forget sometimes that I'm talking to a 2 year old because he can carry on a conversation so well. He is still interested in potty training but not full-on. That's really fine by me because it is a LOT of work and mostly I am not looking forward to knowing where every bathroom is in every store. Because we know, inevitably, once he's potty trained, every time I go to the grocery store and have a full cart in the check-out line, he will exclaim, "Mommy, I need to go potty!" We'll get there eventually and I'm going to follow his lead.
Here's the best picture of Jude in a long, long time!

He picked his outfit all by himself and is wearing ski goggles, chewing on a nose-suctioner that he calls an ice cream cone, and walking around with a stethoscope in his ears.

Growing family, growing abilities

Shame on me for not having been here in a while. Our growing family has required that I expand my daily routine, abilities and creativity. I thought I'd share some of that:

Our little T man is nearly 10 weeks old. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, that's so little, and I also realize how much more quickly it seems to be passing. One new skill I'm constantly being challenged to master (or at least attempt to master) is living in the present. Sleepless nights, nursing at a moments notice, or trying to occupy a 2 year old while nursing at various locations (like the grocery store pharmacy or in line at a consignment sale for example), are just a few things that may sometimes be overwhelming at times. Its easy to sort of mentally just check out while i spring into action because of focusing on the trask(s). I have to stop and remember that one of these days, in the not so far off future, I may be longing for a brand new baby and everything that comes with a toddler with a "zest for life" (read: never ending energy and volume).
Titus has some reflux so getting that worked out has been a challenge. However the medicine has been a huge help along with some easy (but sad) dietary restrictions on my part. He is a Mega-Ham!! He smiles and giggles and talks in ooh's, gaa's, and gurggles. He is a sweet, sweet joy!
Jude is a loving big brother. He is constantly giving T gentle kisses on the head and wanting to "jump in and see him."  He loves to lay next to Titus and be gentle with him and make noises at him. He has also become a pro at picking up a dropped paci and giving I back to the baby.

Jude has started showing signs of being interested in potty training. Though we're not there yet, this step is teaching me very important lessons and skills like patience, patience, and more patience...as well as cleaning and streamlining and discovering corners that may have disguised themselves as the potty to inexperienced toddler senses.
In cuteness factor, Jude is of course off the charts! He sings to music, will talk to his toys like they're having a conversation, and has started quote-worthy sayings like "Mommy, I looooove babies!!!" and enjoys telling everyone about trains and the train museum.

Ross took Jude to a model train museum several weeks ago. I think they both had fun - Jude, without a doubt! He talked about it every day and after 2 or 3 weeks we all went back. It really is a great place, it's no wonder he likes it! It's indoors so it was a great activity for Titus as well. He slept soundly in the Ergo pretty much the whole time.
I am getting better at being a mom of 2...or so it seems. Funny how after doing something new and difficult and being successful at it, I have a tendency to think, "Boy! I thought ______ was hard before?!" But then I give myself a little hug because I just did something big and new and did it successfully! Just like anything, it takes a while to find your groove. I am looking forward to the days when they can play together.

We are loving our new house! Things are finding homes and we're feeling more settled in. I recently joined pinterest so I'm getting great ideas for crafts and DIY stuff to decorate. Our room is of course the last to get any attention but boy does it need it! We're gearing up for what we expect to be a pretty busy Halloween this year...our neighborhood has so many kids, surely we'll have a lot of trick-or-treaters. We will take Jude this year, though we're stil ironing out the costume.

So things have been going relatively well. Thankfully I haven't lost all of my brains and I've been able to figure out life with 2 kids...for the most part...

*im posting from my phone and am having trouble with the pictures. I'll have to post them later*

Titus James

Since April, we had been anxiously awaiting mid-August. We were set to close on our house on the 13th and I was due the 26th. It was going to be a close call but we confidently plowed ahead. 

Lots of people had asked what we would do if he came early, and I just smiled and would say "I'm sure it'll all work out" and simultaneously think "he won't." 

The night before closing I was so uncomfortable...back ache, joint pain, just uncomfortable. I got like 3 hours of sleep. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. Then closing day came. It was so exciting! After the closing, I noticed that I had a pretty significant back ache but since we'd been frantically packing in preparation for the movers, I had a reason. The movers arrived at 3:00. I directed and followed them with the vacuum. The back ache was just annoying and would not go away! I was so tired and sore and just ready for the day to be done. The movers took a while to unload the truck and I instructed them where to put boxes and furniture but didn't really DO anything. I was now even more tired. All I could seem to do was rub my back and sit down, completely exhausted. 

Finally the truck was unloaded and we were going to spend the night in our first house. I got our bed ready and the bathroom and was going to take a shower and head to bed. Unfortunately as I started to get the shower ready, we realized there was an issue with our gas and we had NO hot water. BUMMER!! But I was so tired, I crawled into bed - our clean-sheeted bed and called it a night at 10:30. 

Baby was kicking like he never had moved before! I enjoyed my pregnant self and drifted to sleep. I woke up at about 12:15 and felt very in tune with my belly (which seemed random). Then, I was soaked!!!!  "Uh oh, this HAS to be a joke!" is what went through my mind. I woke up my husband and told him I was pretty sure my water just broke. He also said something to the effect of "you're kidding right?" I told him to stay in bed and try to rest because who how long it would be before my contractions would start. I went to the bathroom hoping to realize I just really peed my pants. Nope, my water definitely broke. I cleaned up and tried to follow the same advice I had given Ross and get some rest. 

About 15 minutes later my contractions started. They were pretty strong and I wasn't sure how long this labor would actually be. I called the midwives after hours line and talked to a phone someone... She asked me a variety of seemingly unimportant questions like my blood type and results to labs I had. Shouldn’t this information be in their computer somewhere? She didn't ask the "important" questions like, "what time did it break?"  I was frustrated too because I wanted to stay at home as long as I could but starting out with a ruptured bag of waters doesn't put me in the best position for that (or in regard to other interventions). Luckily though, this time I was able to speak up for myself without fear. When the gal said "you need to come in because your water broke" I just said, "no, I'd like to stay at home for a while. Can you just have the midwife call me?" though clearly confused, she obliged. Tina, the midwife who I didn't know as well was on call. 

I called my dear friend Becca (another birth junkie) and we had a good chat about how this couldn't be happening and what would come next. Then my phone rang and it was Susan, the midwife I had seen for almost all my prenatal visits! Tina knew we had a history and she called Susan. Susan came in for me...just for me! Talk about support!! She said I was right, I should stay home and to just call her when I was headed in. We hung up and I tried to go back to bed. I called my mom who would be there with me this time and out of her tired stupor, she got going. 

My contractions were coming about every 3 or so minutes and were like 45 seconds long (just as they had begun in my labor with Jude). I couldn't sleep. I was resting but not as much as I knew would be helpful. Ross couldn't sleep either. I thought maybe at this point I could have a bath...but then remembered we had no hot water. Maybe I could boil some water and add it to a cold tub ... But I had no idea where my pots and pans were. No bath I guess!

I started aimlessly wandering around the house like a chicken with my head cut off. Not doing anything but too restless to sit still. I packed my hospital bag before we moved so I pulled that out and began to take everything out and try to repack it. About half way through, I put everything back in and decided I was going to trust my non-laboring self to have done a decent job packing, and I gave up on repacking my bags.

I wanted something to eat but we didn’t have anything in the house except a bag of chocolate chip cookies that my mother-in-law had sent over with Ross. Though her cookies are delicious, it wasn’t exactly what I needed to nourish myself, but it got the job sort of done. All of the wandering through the house must have picked things up because with each contraction, I was getting more ready to get to the hospital … all I had in mind was the promise of a nice warm tub! I called to check on where my Mom was. Not close enough. I was starting to get irritable and was ready to head in. She decided to meet us there.

I told Ross I was ready to go. In man-land, this means, “get your butt in the car right this second or I’m having the baby on your new floors.” In labor-land, this meant (to me), “ok honey, we should probably start gathering our things, make sure we check and double check that we have everything, and make our way to the car.” Man-land and labor-land were not in sync just then and I remember needing to leave a light on in our house and going over and over which one it would be. Ross remembers that the baby was about to be born and I couldn’t stop talking about turning a light on. Hahah – we laugh now.

We drove the 5 minutes to the hospital at about 2:45 am and I had about 2 or 3 contractions in the car. We parked and began walking into the ER entrance and I had 2 or 3 on the way in. My mom pulled up right as we were walking in. She had mentioned to me before that she was a little nervous to be helping me through labor and I assured her she would be a great support. The first contraction she “experienced” was as we were walking up to the hospital. She asked me what she should do. I thought, don’t bother me with such questions and what I said was, “get rid of your gum!” and held onto my husband through the next one. She got the groove pretty quick. J We were taken upstairs and to a room. The gal checking me in told me to put on a gown. I said, “no thanks, I’ll wear my own clothes.” She said, “no, you need to wear a gown.” I asked why and she explained that I needed to be accessible for the midwife to check me. I said that I would wear a skirt without anything underneath it and then followed, “is that ok?” She rolled her eyes and agreed and I was happy to be wearing my own clothes. My amazing midwife Susan came in and was as warm and loving as could be. The check-in gal made sure to tell Susan the story of the non-gown-wearing and Susan said, “ok, I don’t care” and looked at me as if to say “what’s her issue?” I knew then, even more than I had already known, that Susan was just the right person to deliver this baby and help me through my labor.

By 3:30 am when I was first checked, I was 5 cm dilated and 100% effaced and baby was at a 0 station. Alright, we were making good progress! I looked at the clock and wondered how much longer it would be before I met our son. My cervix was pretty posterior though so Susan had to sort of, pull it forward. That was not very comfortable. But we moved on and my contractions were in a good pattern. I spent the next few hours between the lovely tub (jetted I might add) and sitting on the toilet. Though it’s a position I teach, the benefits of sitting on the toilet became a reality to me. With each contraction, I felt the baby move down and my cervix open. Each time, Ross rubbed my neck and back and encouraged me and I buried my face into my Mom’s chest and she held me tight (seems appropriate in a circle-of-life kind of way looking back).

I remember sitting in the tub, Ross at my side and my mom at my feet, thinking that I wasn’t doing a good enough job breathing through my contractions. I think I said, “I’m not doing what I teach!” I began to focus more and more on moving positions and breathing. I began to get nauseous and I said, “Ok, I think I’m getting close to transition.” I’d been there before and I knew what to expect…. Except not at all.

Susan checked me and I was about an 8. I knew that I’d start to have the urge to push soon. Contractions passed and I felt like things had kind of stopped. I was getting restless. I was so tired. I was so ready to be done with this already. My contractions changed and every ounce of labor I now felt in my back. We all knew the culprit – baby had rotated and was posterior. “NOOOOO!” I thought. This baby has to turn. I think I then took a moment to look back on my entire pregnancy and list off all the times I reclined on the couch when I should’ve sat on a birthing ball or something. Leave it to me to be critical of myself in labor! We also all knew that in order to move things along and bring this baby down, I’d need to do a lot of movement. Susan had me do 2 contractions on my right, 2 on my left, and 2 on hands and knees. In between these, I was lunging around the room.

It felt like I would make progress and then take steps back. I would have several contractions that were 2 minutes long and just a few seconds apart and then I would get a 7 minute break and have a shorter one. God was loving on me in those moments – I couldn’t have lasted without those longer breaks. Neither could Ross nor my Mom I don’t think. The only way I was making it through those intense back-labor contractions was to have either of them do the double hip squeeze on me (pulled the top of my hip bones together to make my pelvis bigger). This is a hard job for a 2 minute contraction. I could feel Ross’ body shaking by the end of each one. They were such troopers though!

Between each contraction I would look out the window at the helipad and the sun coming up and wonder how many more I would have to do before this baby would arrive.

Finally, after lunging again through the room, I had a good one – and I needed to push! 3 hours after I began the long transition to pushing, I had finally made it there! Everyone came into the room. I remember Susan checking me and I still had a little lip of my cervix left. With the next push, she would move it out of the way. Boy, that was a game changer! I was instantly taken back to having Jude. There is no way to describe the sensation of birthing a baby – no greater urge, no greater intensity. And even in the midst of being so in tune with my physical self, I was in awe at the wonderful design of all of this. My body was changing shape, opening up to allow a new human to join us. What an amazing (and rather uncomfortable) privilege.

The difference this time though, was that pushing did not bring with it the sense of relief that it had when I had Jude. With every contraction I became scared and didn’t want to do the work that was required of me. Maybe it was because I was scared of needing the repair I had needed the first time. Maybe I was just too tired. I don’t know. But I do remember thinking, “If I have to have a c-section that’d be fine because this would just be all over.” It’s funny to me though that asking for pain medication never crossed my mind, but having major abdominal surgery seemed perfectly logical at the time. Hahha. Anyway, it didn’t matter because I pushed through three contractions and he was here! (and not posterior).

Titus James was a reality! He was SO covered in vernix – my 38 week and 1 day baby hadn’t had time to get rid of it yet. He was placed immediately on my tummy and stayed with me for about 2-3 hours after he was born. He was beautiful! He had really long fingernails, totally had my big toes and did not have as much hair as I was expecting. He was perfect! …and my “long” labor was over 7 hours after it began!

We waited until his cord stopped pulsating before Ross cut it. About 15 minutes later, the placenta came. There were spots of calcifications, a blood clot the size of a lemon under the membrane, and the cord was right on the edge of the placenta. Titus had made it just fine but I think he knew that he was going to do better on the outside than he would’ve on the inside. This also, or so it seems, could explain why I had stopped growing at 35 weeks. I’m so happy that those things didn’t become, or weren’t, major issues like it seems like they could’ve been!

He nursed like an amazing champ right away. He stayed with me for his entire first day. He didn’t even get a bath until the day we went home (hospital policy but very cool in my mind). Surprisingly, I felt amazing! I didn’t get shaky, I didn’t feel faint, I didn’t feel overwhelmed (all of those I expected because that’s how it went with Jude). I felt and still feel great!

I still am in awe at the wonderful help I had – Ross, my Mom, Susan, my nurses. Everyone was so helpful and there’s no way I could’ve done it without them. Ross never stopped encouraging me. I was so nervous this time because I didn’t feel prepared – I wasn’t ready to have him and I had barely given a second thought to how I would cope with labor. But Ross brought me through. My mom did everything possible to help me and would do it right away. She was a great support! Susan was in my room the entire time. I was so humbled that she came in to deliver my baby when she could’ve been sleeping away. What a wonderful woman!

Titus is a wonderful baby. He is mellow and cuddly and just plain sweet. I can’t hold him enough, kiss him enough, or smell him enough. I can’t wait to see how he grows up!

Meeting Baby Brother

Midwife Susan

Just after his bath!

Down to the wire

We've made it to August. All year, we (mostly I) have been waiting for August to make it's arrival. This is a big month - our anniversary (well that's the end of July but close enough), Jude's birthday, closing on our house, and Baby O's arrival! Some would say that this is too much to take on...naturally, I said, "bring it." I have had a few emotional melt downs in the last few days though so I think my attitude on the whole thing is waning.

Ty Murray said it best - "I don't think you're ever completely ready, it just becomes your turn."

This pretty much sums up my feelings on almost all of these "happenings" in August (except the anniversary). So let's discuss in further detail, shall we?...

Jude's Birthday:
Oh. My. Gosh. Jude is about to be TWO! What?! In fact, two years ago today was my "guess date" with him. I remember feeling SO READY to meet this child. What would he look like? What would he be like? Could I really give birth? Little did I know that the last two years of my life would be the most rewarding, the most challenging, and the most life changing years. I'm so proud of our son and who he is becoming. He is kind hearted, loving, funny, imaginative, smart and charismatic. Jude is a ball of energy and never does a day go by that he doesn't genuinely make me laugh - just like his Dad!

Baby Jude on day 1

Naptime silly-head

Right now, Jude is learning a lot about babies. We've checked out books from the library about what it is like to have a new baby at home. He helped me sort his old clothes and loved to repeat "for baby!" as we were sorting them. He sees the baby cradle and knows that it is where the baby will sleep. Several times throughout the day when he wants to give mom a hug and a kiss, he wants to do the same for baby. He's recently been very intrigued by the baby moving. He'll press on my belly and then look at me with this surprised look and say, "Aaah, baby moving!" I think he's shaping up to be a great big brother!

He started taking showers - which has been very convenient rather than using the 35 gallon Rubbermaid storage bin we had been using in our tub-less house. He loves that he's "like Daddy!" He's using real toothpaste when he brushes his teeth and always wants me to use "more soap". He has also become very interested in having pictures taken of himself and then looking at them. We've been looking at Jude's baby pictures a lot and he really enjoys that too. But here are some of Jude's favorite photo sessions...

Showing me how he looks "Scared"

His favorite pose for the camera

Jude and his gal-pal Elliott

The house seems to be coming along well. We close a week from Monday and I'm a little skeptical about how they'll get everything done in time, but they assure me they haven't missed a deadline yet so I am hoping I'm not the first case. It's probably just my nesting coming into play that it is cutting it so close - who's to blame for that?? me...

The kitchen!

Baby O:
Oh my little belly baby :) I pray for his health and wellness every day. At my appointment yesterday some of my measurements seemed "off" so I am having another ultrasound on Thursday to just check in on him. My midwife said that if she were really concerned, she'd be doing an ultrasound right then, so I'm confident that the variance is just a difference in how she and the other midwife measure. Nevertheless, it's one more thing for me to think about (or to try not to think about). He's moving well - and of course always when I'm trying to go to sleep - and his heart rate has been normal. I'm down to the last few "expected" weeks of this pregnancy and I can't believe how much it has flown! I also can't believe how emotionally and mentally it is nothing like my pregnancy with Jude. If only I had known then what I know now...  I'm excited to meet this little man and welcome him into our lives. I'm nervous for the sleepless nights and parenting two children adequately. This is where Ty Murray's quote is most applicable. :)

35+ weeks

Fireworks "oohs and aahs"

So it turns out that no one has to teach a child how to respond to fireworks. This year, the state only had a few fireworks displays because of all of the fire danger. Luckily there was one only a few minutes away from us and we were able to fully enjoy the 4th of July with our little dude. We went to a festival in town and had a hotdog and a Coke, listened to New Orleans style music, took Jude on a paddle boat ride and got a slushee. He had a blast! After an attempt at a nap, we went to the Windsor celebrations and got so listen to some more music (a GREAT Beatles cover band - which of course was exactly what we loved), watch people, play with glow sticks, and watch fireworks. Here are a few of the phrases Jude said during the fireworks show:
"WOW!"
"Oh My!"
"Oh, goodness sakes!"
"Hooray!"
"Look Mommy, Look Daddy, fireworks!"
He also enjoyed telling us the color of each one! We had such a fun time!

Baby Boy #2 is doing well! I can't believe we're only a mere 6 weeks away from his guessed arrival! Our house is coming along nicely as well and I am also shocked at how soon it will be time to move! Here's the latest belly/house picture. It's not very good of either of us but it'll have to do. 33+ weeks

Fiery Excitement

The summer...heat, drought, wind, dust, pools, and air conditioning...is upon us.

Just outside of Ft. Collins, a devastating fire began this weekend. We saw its beginnings with the small plume of smoke rising above the mountains. What started with a lightning strike has now burned over 46,000 acres. The eastern most portion of the burn area is only five miles from our home. While we are so grateful to not be one of the evacuated homes (or have had lost our home), we have been covered in smoke and ash for the last several days. Jude and I have had some pretty nasty allergies from the whole thing...Ross remains untouched as usual. Here are a few images that I took on Sunday of the smoky skies.

Driving home

The intersection nearest our house

The sun setting

again driving home

Our baby and our home continue to grow! Tomorrow I will be 30 weeks. Someone asked me today if I feel like I've been pregnant for 30 weeks. I was taken aback a bit by the question only because I haven't stopped to think of it that way. It really doesn't. When I think about the fact that it was just before Christmas that we found out we were having another baby, then it seems like it's definitely been 30 weeks. Christmas was like years ago! Ha! But in the grand scheme of things, I feel like this pregnancy is just flying by! I'm excited to meet this little boy, but I'm also not ready just yet. (Which is a good thing, because I don't think he is either). There are so many things to get done and to get ready for his arrival and I would prefer to have as much time as possible to get those things done. Also, I know now that babies are much easier to take care of when they are inside the womb than on the outside. I wish I could've given myself that inherent knowledge when I was pregnant with Jude. This baby will come when he is ready and I sure hope that I am too when that time comes.

The builders began framing our house yesterday morning. When we stopped by in the evening, we had a first floor! I drove by this afternoon just after lunch and we had most of a second floor! Wow they work fast! Here are some photos ... we've doubled up and done house and belly shots together. So here we are at framing day 1 and pregnancy 29 weeks, 5 days.

Last bit of stuff for today is of course Jude and his antics. Jude LOVES trains, particularly anything Thomas. On Sunday night he was given a train set (one of those with wooden train track pieces that fit together and train cars with magnets). We made the mistake of letting him play with it for just a short while before bed. Bedtime was a night mare! Even worse was the fact that between 8 pm and 11:30 pm, he was up 3 times in hysterics asking for Thomas, Rhineas and Stepney (friends of Thomas). He woke up at 6:30 the following morning and the first words out of his mouth were "I did it!" I think he was referring to the fact that he made it to the morning! Haha! The initial excitement has dwindled but only slightly. These trains go with us everywhere and they are all he wants to play with. 

And finally one of him just being adorable!

A Look at my Childbirth Educator side

Over the last year, I have gone through the process of becoming a Childbirth Educator. When I became pregnant with Jude, I remember thinking, and saying to people, "Of course I'll get the epidural. Who am I kidding? I'm not here to be a hero." I believed that when my water broke and I drove the scary hour to the hospital trying to hold my baby in as we drove,  I would arrive and they would tell me what to do and that would be that. Birth would be painful, scary and potentially very dangerous and I was not about to try my luck at anything that might prove that right.

As my pregnancy progressed, I learned a little bit more each day. I talked to my friends who were moms and talked to them about their birth stories. What shocked me was the amount of information that was out there that I had no idea I didn't know! We signed up for a Childbirth Preparation class at the hospital where we would deliver. Going into the class my perspective had changed some and I believed that I'd like to try to birth naturally, but we'd see where things went.  Maybe I could handle more pain than I initially thought.
We had an amazing instructor who not only taught us what to expect with labor and delivery, but the amazing things that a woman's body was created to do. We learned support techniques, comfort measures, risks and benefits of common interventions, how those interventions tend to be related to one another, and ultimately were given enough knowledge that we could make more informed decisions about the birth of our baby, together. Birth was so much more than pain. More deeply, I realized what an amazing process I was about to be a part of...no, leading. My body was perfectly made; it is written in my DNA to grow, nurture and birth a human life! What a gift that is! I wanted to feel in control of my body and my birth and know, from experience, that I could do it! I read POSITIVE birth stories, read books from the great Ina May Gaskin. We hired a doula. I was confident!

I went into labor with Jude and had the birth I envisioned. Childbirth was the most difficult challenge I have faced. However, unlike so many stories of birth that are shared so flippantly with us by our grocers, neighbors, friends or random strangers, my birth was empowering. Never once did I suffer and I was in control of my body. This was something that only I could have done and I was so proud of that. It was a rite of passage that was beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. No one had to tell me how to birth my baby, I intuitively knew what to do. I created, grew, nurtured and birthed my beautiful child! I could take on the world!

That experience forever changed my life. Thinking of Jude's birth still makes me teary. Through that experience and growth, I realized my passion. I began the journey to become a Childbirth Educator. My passion for it lies in the fact that so many expectant mothers (or to be expectant mothers) and fathers, are not aware of the choices that are theirs to make during pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period. We hire health care providers to lead us through our pregnancies and births. But ultimately they are our pregnancies and our births. No one can know a woman or a baby as well as that woman does. She really can have the birth of her dreams - regardless of whether she births at home, a birthing center or a hospital...regardless of the number of pain medications she has or doesn't have. It is up to the woman to choose the birth that suits her and her family. Every woman and every baby has different finger prints. Every woman will have a different labor. There shouldn't be a blanket way, time, place and position to birth that fits everyone.

Giving birth is so much more than pain. It is a beautiful process of giving life. A woman reaches into the depths of her strength to bring a new life into the world. It is a time for her to be supported, encouraged and lifted up - not managed and restricted.

So, my hope in all of this is to share this knowledge:
- Women's bodies are wonderfully made and perfectly designed to give birth. Let's give mothers the ability to have confidence in her body like her baby does.
- There are so many choices that expectant moms can make about their births. Giving women the opportunity to make those choices, and to be supported by her health care provider in those choices, allows women to have birth experiences that are empowering and uplifting.
We research most major decisions we make in our lives; buying a house, a new car, a new TV, the car seat and stroller that will transport our precious babies. Why not research and educate ourselves on giving birth?

Lamaze International has just begun a new campaign called Push for Your Baby. Its goal is to empower women and to give them the confidence to push for the best birth for their baby. I'm so proud to be a part of an organization such as Lamaze which stands by childbirth as a normal, safe and natural event and promotes women's bodies as perfectly designed to nourish and nurture their babies through pregnancy. This new campaign, I believe, can provide such amazing resources and tools to expectant parents everywhere. I'm so excited!

Bikes, Breaks, and Bulldozers

We have had some crazy times going on! We have had some beautiful weather for the most part and have been really enjoying the ability to get outside and enjoy it. We've had the chance to ride bikes together - we got a trailer for Jude which attaches to the back of Ross' bike and he can ride along with us. He loves wearing his helmet. In fact, he loves it so much that he likes to wear it all the time. In the car, around the house, eating, playing...he loves to wear the helmet. We all got helmets on the same day and a few weeks after were enjoying a lovely bike ride. We were actually headed to Recycled Cycles to see if we could get a new bike for me because the one I was riding was just too small. We were several miles from home and only a block away from our destination when things got lousy. We were going up onto the sidewalk from the bike lane and I caught the 1/4 inch lip (I was too parallel to the sidewalk) and fell off my bike! I remember knowing I was going to fall and I must have closed my eyes because I vaguely remember hitting the ground. My vision was kind of blurry and I immediately called for Ross. He was ahead of me and I think he heard the fall and was at my side in seconds. I remember first just being shocked and then knowing that my wrist hurt and was broken. I worried about the baby! What was I doing falling off my bike while pregnant?? It wasn't even a balance thing...it was a miscalculation of angles (my high school and college math and physics teachers would be disappointed).

A passer by stopped and called 911. I heard his side of the conversation and I remember being kind of happy when I heard him say "I don't know...maybe 22 or 23?" Heheheh ... anyway, back to being worried about the baby! Jude was crying as he was in the trailer still which is attached to the back of Ross' bike. Some other passers by stopped and were trying to talk to him but he knew better. Ross brought him over to me and I said that I was ok but I just fell off my bike. Within a minute, the ambulance and fire engine were there. Sirens blazing, Jude forgot all about Mommy's fall and was happy as a clam to watch the ambulance and fire engine. The nice paramedics looked me over and wanted to take me to the hospital in the ambulance. The penny-pincher in me declined because I didn't want the bill. Ha! They had to ask me all these questions about what day it was, what city I was in, etc before they'd let me go. The police officer that was there offered to drive us to the hospital. 

We arrived and I was in the ER for a few hours. They did an x-ray of my arm and sure enough it was broken. Unfortunately it was my right arm (I'm right handed) and I broke my radius in the joint. So it was actually a very minor break but because of it's location it became a much bigger deal. The orthopaedic doctor on call said that I'd have to come in to their office in a few days and most likely have some pins put in. Then I went up to Labor and Delivery and was monitored for 8 hours. It was a long time there but it was reassuring to know things looked good with baby. I felt him moving a lot and so was thankful for that. 4 days later, I had surgery and had a plate and about 5 screws put in. I luckily avoided general anesthesia but still had to have some medications (which I would have rather avoided for baby's sake but was glad that I had for my own sake). I was in a full arm cast for 10 days and now have a removable cast at least until Memorial Day. I can take it off for showering which is very nice. I have quite a bit of mobility given the circumstances but have absolutely no strength. The doctor said it'll be at least 3 months before it feels normal again. Just in time for baby!

So no more family bike rides for a while. Jude is so bummed!

But we have much to look forward to. We are having a house built!!!! We are going to be home owners for the first time! I have to say that I never thought I'd see the day! We are so excited! The house is, in our opinion, a perfect layout. We'll have a very small yard, but the neighborhood has a few pools, parks, trails and lots of open space. Seems ideal to me...places to play and little yard work. It's a stay at home mom's dream! They started digging the lot on May 10th and we're so far (not set in stone just yet), slated to close on August 14th. I know, I know...cutting it kind of close to Baby's guess date of August 26th. However, the 14th was the earliest it could happen so I'd rather have over a week to settle in than a few days or something. Plus, baby will come when he is good and ready and I trust that whenever that is, the timing will work out just fine. 

The Flat Lot

Belly Shot - about 20ish weeks

 Jude having fun on the Bulldozer at the site

 They started digging!

The same afternoon that they started - the hole is complete

 The next day - foundation frame begun and poured

Foundation framed and almost completely poured

We've had a blast driving by (almost daily) to see the progress that is made each day. I'm really impressed with how much they get done to be honest. Yesterday we were there at 6:30 and they were still working! We've picked out all of our selections at the design center and can't wait to see our first home come together. Yay!

Now the latest on Jude:

He's as cute as they come. He is now 21 months old and I feel like sometimes he's going on 3. He can count to 10 and then adds 12, 14, 16, 19 and 20. He can nearly say his alphabet - we heard him reciting it in the back seat the other day and just were floored! He is pretty coherent with his speech - for example, "Mommy, can I more milk?" "Fall down go boom", "Mom's owie. Fall off bike. Ambulance, fire engine, ambulance", etc. He quotes shows, sings songs from Thomas or Dinosaur Train and talks about his favorite books. 

He's also learning to be quite the manipulator. I got popsicles the other day and told him that after he slept during nap time, he could have a popsicle. After an hour and a half of "quiet time" but no sleeping, I went in to get him. He immediately threw his arms in the air and said "POPSICLE!". I said that because he didn't sleep I wasn't so sure if he'd get a popsicle. He then proceeded to do every single thing that is cute or makes me laugh like, "Mommy, I love you", showing me his muscles, singing songs, etc. After one or two cute/funny things, he's say "popsicle?" Little stinker. Ha! In the mornings when I ask what he'd like for breakfast, he says "broccoli?" (yes he really does like broccoli). When I say "we don't have broccoli" (because we don't right now), he says  "Ice cream?" ... Like, well if we don't have broccoli, surely ice cream is the next best option.

Heheheh, being cute after Bath Time

Riding the train at the Colorado Railroad Museum

Loving the balloon hat and jumpy castle at a birthday party

Found a caterpillar in the grass

He's had fun at birthday parties, with friends, and visiting the Colorado Railroad Museum.

Until Next time :)

Not sure where to begin

There have been so many events unfolding in our lives recently that for this blog post, I'm not sure exactly where to begin. So I think I'll begin with the light stuff and get more serious as we move down. :)

Two days ago, we discovered that there is a family of foxes living in our back yard! They reside in the hole that starts in our back yard and goes below our neighbors shed. We noticed the hole when we moved in almost a year ago. We had seen skunks in the back yard in that vicinity and so we assumed it was a skunk hole. The weather has been so nice over the last month or more that we've been spending quite a bit of time outside. Sometimes, if i have something to do inside I'll let Jude play in the back while I finish up my indoor chores. I have the doors and windows open so I can hear him (of course). We blocked up that hole with some boards and one of Jude's big bouncy balls so that he wouldn't fall in. He likes to play with his bus and Thomas over by it and it was always making me worried. Well yesterday we realized that it is in fact the fox hole - they continue to use it regardless of our attempts to block it off. This morning we watched for over an hour as the two adult foxes relaxed in the morning sun while the four cubs played with each other and bounced about. It is so fun to see! Those little stinkers have brought about 3 newspapers (plastic bags and all) and quite a bit of trash into the yard. I'm guessing it's for building up their nest. Those little cubs are so cute!...except that tonight, one of them took Jude's Nerf Soccer Ball and took it into their hole. Stinker! I took some pictures but I don't think I got one of all of them. Tonight I watched the Momma stand in the middle of the yard as she nursed the cubs! That was too cute :) I guess no more unattended play for Jude outside.

 Adults and two cubs playing

Momma nursing her cubs

My big test for my Lamaze Certification is coming up in 2 weeks! I can't believe I'm down to the wire! I'm very nervous for the test (although I really have hope I'll do well) and I'm just anxious to have the certification! I'm so excited to be able to say that's what I do! I'm also hoping and praying for a job doing it - what a wonderful experience to have a job doing what you love, I pray God opens a door in that direction!

Baby Boy has been so active! I don't think I can remember exactly to be able to compare to my pregnancy with Jude, but this boy is incredibly active! I feel him moving most of the day. It's so wonderful to be able to consistently feel his movements. It provides such reassurance and it is just plain fun! I have not taken a belly picture since the last one but will hopefully remember to do one soon.

Jude Monster is doing well. Today, sadly, he had another peanut run in :( Ross and I were at an appointment in Denver and Jude was with his Grandma and Great Grandma. He was accidentally given some peanut butter by Great Grandma (whose memory isn't as sharp as it once was). We got a call from his Grandma nearing the end of our appointment in Denver and headed back to Ft. Collins as fast as we could. Luckily his reaction to the peanut butter wasn't nearly as severe as it was the first time around. He vomited and had a rash on his neck and back and had red eyes. Last time his eyes were swollen shut, his entire body was one giant hive and he seemed to be struggling some to breathe. The breathing part (the scariest part) wasn't an issue so that is good news! We met Jude and Grandmas at the hospital and he was in great sprits when we arrived. He was sitting on the bed being more patient than I would've been in his shoes. Our drive back to Ft. Collins was one of the longest of my life but I'm so glad everything turned out so well. We were sent home not long after Ross and I arrived and he's been fine ever since. He's a trooper - no peanut is going to take him down!!!

He's getting so grown up! He's repeating every word he hears, talking in mostly two-word sentences, can count to ten (and adds "thirteen" to the end), recognizes some letters and is starting to get the hang of colors. He said "I Love You" to me as we left the house today! *heart melt*

We went to the zoo with a friend and her little baby recently and he just loved having little Brielle along. Every few steps he'd want to stop and look at her in the stroller and say "Brielle...awww" and give her a gentle rub on her shoulder or head. It was precious! I hope this means that he'll be just as good of a big brother!

We had a great Easter! My brother Jon and his girlfriend Tara put on an Easter Egg Hunt for him and he loved it. He'd pick up every egg and say "treat" and then pretend to eat the plastic egg. What a goof ball! We had a great day celebrating a wonderful holiday!