Starting Over!

So here it goes. Not that I think anyone is losing sleep over me not having posted anything for a while, but I'm more or less getting what has happened off my chest. If you don't want to read it then don't, if you do read it that's your fault I have warned you.

No ones life is full of sunshine and roses. I get that, really I do, but i just couldn't stay knowing that nothing would ever change. I was miserable, scared, and felt horribly stuck in a life that I had no chance of being happy in. We had blow outs from the beginning, but after it was all the talk about changing. It just never happened. I've got my fair share of problems and the blame doesn't just fall on his shoulders, but even with all the fights and problems I always could forgive him until he asked for a girlfriend. Whether it was just to be hurtful or because he really wanted or had one I don't care. It's the one thing I could not get over. This was November. In December a few days before Christmas he asked for a divorce and I didn't disagree. Yes we had both said it before in the past, but this time there was no talk of us changing.

Do I miss Okinawa? Everyday. Do I miss the wonderful people they became as close as family that are still there? Every minute of everyday. Do I regret leaving? No. Has it been easy? Not even close. It has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Seeing Orion sad and missing his dad. Struggling to find work and trying to feel anything but worthless is still a daily challenge. Being told that everything I owned was sold. Heartbreaking. Am I going to get through this? Yes.

Orion's Christmas Program

Zoey's Two!

 

 Morning my Beautiful girl! I can't believe that I've had the joy and privlage of seeing you become the crazy little toddler you are. You are very independant and love to sing and dance. You love to watch your pretty princesses. We love you and are so glad to have you in our family!