Back Talking = Disrespect

Wo! I just read an article that really hit home with me. My 4 year old has some serious sass and LOVES to get me into a power struggle. And while his outbursts of back-talk are downright loud and mean, as I thought more about this with my other kids, I realized they (we) ALL have a problem! So HERE's the article. Let me know what you think. I like to get real world examples of dialogues that may take place, which this article did not provide. So will you all do something for me? Will you listen to your dialogues in your home this week and let me know what your kid said and what you said to help solve the problem? It just helps me put it into my own situation easier. I get that the child asks for permission to disagree, but I just can't hear my 4 year old saying, "So mom, I understand that you're scared about letting me walk to my friend's house alone, and I can see that you're busy washing dishes, but I just want to go play with my friend. Will you help me find a way to do that?" ..... uh.... yeah. That's not happening! That might be how I would talk to the child and I understand I should set the example in that way, but I'm kinda not seeing how a child, especially the younger ones, would sound when implementing this advice. Thanks so much. I'll check back throughout the week for your responses. ;)

Some Lessons And a Small Tribute

We've had a few more 'lessons' since last post. One Saturday, I marched all the kids in the bathroom to teach them how to scrub the tub! Boy, were they excited!!! (Surely you can sense the sarcasm here!) Well, they just weren't getting it done on Saturday. They all do awesome with the mirror, sink, and toilet, and a mediocre job of emptying trash and sweeping and washing the floor. But it seemed like they'd either conveniently "forget" to scrub the tub, or just sprinkle some AJAX in and call it good. Oh no! That is not acceptable! Not on my watch! No siree! My mama didn't teach me to clean like that, nor to expect or accept such sloppy work. So from here on out we will be diligently scrubbing the tubby! Can I get an "AMEN!"? Whew!
I'm really not a drill sargent but I do expect each child at his or her own age and ability level to comply. I tried to make my demonstration humorous so they'd at leat "humor" me by staying in the bathroom. And successfully speaking, I think it went rather well. The 12 and 9 year olds for sure can do this. And with a little  guidance and assistance as needed, the 6 year old will be flying solo before too long! How 'bout that? 3 of the 5 kids competently cleaning the bathroom completely on their own? And one at age 6!?! Gotta be proud of that! Thanks, Mom! I owe it all to mi madre. She had me cleaning bathrooms so thoroughly at about age 8, the next guy in line to "Saturday" clean it hardly had to lift a finger!! Hahaha! But I would seriously spend at LEAST an hour on my Saturday jobs. "Little Miss Perfect", as I'm affectionately known by my siblings, was very thorough indeed. I know my kids are not like me in every way and I know they'll probably take some short cuts and maybe "forget" a few things, but they are good kids and when they want to get their jobs done, they are excellent cleaners!

The second 'lesson' happened just this past Saturday as J2 was cleaning the upstairs toy room. I didn't witness her vacuum job by sight, but I ALMOST heard the vacuum running. So I went up to see what was going on. She had indeed turned the thing on and had most definitely moved it around, but she just happed to miss the edges and about 9/10ths of the rest of the room!! I saw one "rainbow" pattern of vacuum marks and that was it! Uh..... excuse me? You call THAT vacuuming? tsk tsk, little girl. She said to me in her very best practicing-to-be-a-teenager voice, "Then YOU show me how to do it!" Well, she asked for it, right? So I said, "Well, okay. I'll hold the vacuum here and you hold it here and we'll vacuum it together!" Perfect teaching moment! Just what I've been praying for. So we proceeded to vacuum from the far end of the room, up and back, up and back, making sure to overlap the lines and get as close to the edge as possible (Someday I'll teach her to actually use the edger tool, but it's kinda broken now). She mostly just gave me that weak "I'm gonna make you do all the work and enjoy being pulled along for the ride" look! BUT, then she vacuumed her own bedroom and did a MUCHO better job. She'll get it! How had I not taught her to vacuum beforehand, though?!? Crazy!

The third lesson was something I learned. As siblings, we made a conference call recording for our mother! We all took turns sharing sweet, funny, endearing memories and all the wonderful things we appreciate and admire about our dear mom! It was bitter sweet for me. Sweet to have all the sibs on the same line, trying to get a word in edgewise and sweet to reminisce about the good ole days. But afterward, I thought about all the amazing things my mom did for me and the incredible example she is and I thought, "I don't even come close to measuring up to my mom!" I am WAY too selfish with my time and WAY too stubborn to let go of certain things. Plus, she's 5'4" and I'm only 5'2"!
But then I realized I AM trying to do my best! I'm not in the same situation as she was back then and I just can't expect myself to do exactly the same things she did. And I WILL be proud of all my accomplishments and successes and I'll remember that I can do hard things and that I LOVE my kids more than they know and that I want them to succeed in life and I'll do whatever it takes to get them there. So even if my daughter doesn't vacuum perfectly, even if the tub gets rings, as long as my kids know who they are and why they are here and that they are loved, I'll consider myself a winner, just like my mom! I love you, Mom!

"Rough Draft"

Well, here goes....
PREPARE
Learn to Take Care of your SELF
 -Clean Body
     *Proper Hygiene: shower/bathe regularly, trim nails, clean ears, wash hands, comb hair, use deodorant, brush teeth
     *Proper Fuel: eat food as fuel, drink lots of water, learn what works best for you, plan, shop, prepare and clean up meals/dishes
     *Proper Rest: go to bed on time, get up early enough to give yourself time to get ready
     *Proper Exercise: be active, be involved in scouts, sports, school activities, etc., or establish your own daily exercise routine (suggested exercises: running, walking, jogging, jump rope, push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, biking, roller blading, hiking, air squats, planks, lunges, burpees, dancing, etc)
     *Hard Work: daily chores, a good turn daily

  -Clean Mind
     *Keep up in school, do homework, complete assignments on time
     *Read lots of books
     *Set goals and set your mind to achieve them
     *Learn about people and subjects of interest/research
     *Perform casual experiments to test your ideas and theories
     *Keep a clean mind: "Hum your favorite hymn", "If it's bad, look away and turn it off," (thanks, Safety Kids), don't allow deer poop into your life
SIDE NOTE: For one FHE lesson, I told the kids about the mom who made cookies for her kids. Before they took a bite she told them she had used a little bit of doggie doo doo in them. Her kids didn't want any of the cookies!! She told them that it was "just a little bit" and the rest of the cookie would be fine. The kids refused to eat the cookies, of course. I told my kids we have to treat bag language, violence, sex and crude humor as doggie doo doo (we had deer poop on our lawn that morning so I used deer poop instead of doggie doo doo as an example). We can't let even "just a little bit" of the bad stuff enter our lives and ruin the rest of it. The lesson went well and I think they got the message. .... We'll see.

  -Clean Spirit
     *Study the scriptures every day (Alma 17:2, 1 Nephi 1:24-25, 2 Nephi 32:3, John 5:39, Acts 17:11, 2 Timothy 2:15, Mosiah 1:7)
     *Pray Always (D&C 10:5, 2 Nephi 32:9)
     *Serve Others (Mosiah 2:17)
     *Fulfill Priesthood Responsibilities (D&C 84:33, 1 Samuel 2:30, 1 Timothy 4:14)
     *Be worthy to attend the temple (Moroni 10:32)
     *Keep the Sabbath Day holy (Jeremiah 17:22, JST, Mark 2: 26-27, Mosiah 18:23, Mosiah 13:16,18, D&C 68:29)
     *Repent and forsake sins (Mosiah 4:10, Alma 39:9)

Well, iffn that's not enough, I decided to make a list of useful, helpful and essential skills I want my kids to learn. But I warn you, it's LONG!!! And I know there's more I want to add. :)

IN THE HOME
  - Kitchen
     *Learn to prepare 10 breakfasts, 10 lunches, 10 dinners, and a few healthy snacks (mind you, these are the ultimate goals. I'm going to make checkoff lists for each of the kids to keep track of their progress)
     *Clean as you go. Clean up spills when they happen.
     *Learn to make meal plans, using what you've got and store ads
     *Learn how to look for deals and stock up when you can
     *Learn how to wash, rinse, dry and put away dishes, load a dishwasher and start it, unload the dishwasher, clean out the fridge/freezer, clean counters, tables, chairs, and sweep and wash floors

  -Bedroom
     *Make bed, change sheets
     *Organize closet and drawers
     *Learn how to hang pictures properly

  -Living rooms
     *Organize "stuff", clean up after yourself
     *Learn how to wash walls and baseboards
     *Learn how to deep clean windows, including window tracks, glass, and surrounding areas.
     *Learn how to dust properly
     *Learn how to vacuum properly
     *Learn how to change light bulbs and clean light fixtures
     *Learn how to change smoke alarm batteries

  -Laundry/Clothing
     *Learn how to pre-treat stains
     *Learn how to select the right load size and water temperature
     *Learn how to use the dryer properly
     *Learn how to fold clothes properly
     *Learn how to hang clothes properly
     *Learn how to iron clothes
     *Learn how to sew on a button
     *Learn to tie a tie
     *Learn to polish your dress shoes
   
  -Bathroom
     *Learn to use a plunger
     *Learn to fix sink leaks
     *Learn the workings of toilets
     *Clean mirrors, sink, toilet, bathtub, walls, floors and door

  Okay, I'll save the "OTHER" stuff for next time. Thanks for reading. PLEASE give suggestions, ideas, comments, etc. I know it's overwhelming. Trust me, I know! But I feel like I have to break it down like this in order to know where to begin. I think it'll pay off  in the end. Don't expect perfection from us, though. ;)  We're just beginning this glorious journey!! How's YOUR journey going? I'd love to hear about it!

I know I said my next post would be my "rough draft",  but I had to share something else first. Then my NEXT post will be my rough draft. Promise!!
Well, he's always loved to iron, but I just don't get out the iron often enough for Jaxon to get good at it. Usually we just spray our wrinkly shirts or pants with water and throw them in the dryer for a few minutes. But I thought that even though ironing seems to be a dying skill of necessity, I'd better teach my kids how to properly "press" their clothes. Hey, an extra skill won't hurt 'em, right?
 Now, I'm no expert but I've done a little ironing and I also remembered some instructions from a missionary prep. video my mom made us watch when I was young (thanks, mom!); Start with the yoke and collar, then front side to back and then around to the other front side, and end with the sleeves (or something to that affect).
Nevermind what the kid is wearing (???), he actually ironed his own shirt for church and being the perfectionist he is, it looked really good!! I think with minimal supervision next time, he'll be on his own with this task. Ironing.... check!(almost) :)

Wow!!! Is it true? Is my baby already twelve? TWELVE? I still can't believe it. Jaxon is 12! I've been reminiscing about his life and wanted to share a few of my thoughts.
I cried as my heart filled to capacity with love when my little man was born!  I could tell very quickly that he was a smart boy and a fun-loving person. As he has grown, I have seen these traits brought out in various ways. But he's not without trial or struggle.  Since our move, Jaxon's been diagnosed with ADHD and a writing disability. He also has some obsessions and compulsions, but not serious enough to be a diagnosis. The psychologist says Jaxon's "extremely bright" but he has some social struggles as well. Since Jaxon was two years old, I've known all of these thing. In my heart I knew he was different. I know all boys are rambunctious and wild, but I could just feel something was special about MY boy. It's been such a relief to finally have it known and learn to deal with it properly. He's a smart boy! He's a good boy! And he's growing into such a great young man!
Jaxon received the Aaronic Priesthood a week after his birthday (thanks to Bishop Huntsman, Dale Anderson, and Randy Christofferson for being there for us) and has since been able to carry out the duties involved with this special honor. I'm so proud of him! I get down on him a lot and sometimes I get frustrated that he's not who I thought he would be or who I think he should be, but I'm slowly learning (finally) that he is himself! I appreciate that for what he's been through and for what he's dealt with he's done amazingly well! This kid's gonna go far!! I love him; my firstborn, my Jax!
As I cried when receiving my son, I weep with joy to see how far he's come and at the same time my heart aches as I have to learn to let go (cut those ties) and help him transition into his own strong, confident, helpful being. It's exciting and scary and I do not know what I am doing. But I'm bound to learn.
Since I only have 6 years left with Jaxon at home, I've decided I've got to get myself organized and help him prepare for a mission and for life in the real world. I'm going to use the Scout handbook, scriptures, talks and quotes to help me, and I'm planning for my next post to be my "rough draft".
I'd really appreciate your input, advice and support in this endeavor. I hope that by training ONE, I'll actually be training them all! It'll be easier with the next kids since I'll have a plan/template in place, but I'm sure they'll  all pick up on it. I hope this "training"/preparation for going out into the world helps me be a better mom in the process. And I know it'll be a process. With what I've already got in place, it's a good start but I need to step it up!
So this blog is now dedicated to our "Journey To the REAL WORLD!" I want to record our progress, our struggles, our failures, our "get back ups", and I hope to learn a LOT along the way.... and who knows, maybe you will too. :)

Warning: photo overload! Viewers beware!

There are a bunch of pics on this post so I'll let them do most of the talking. I put them in reverse order and I'm not bright enough (& do not have the patience) to fix it, so bummer. Most of you are family and know what they're about anyway. Happy viewing.

These 4 KIDS did great in the 1 mile fun run!! They all beat Cody but he had his best time!

This kid can't get enough of his baby sister!

Thank you Jared, Dad, Husby, Uncle D, and Jake. An amazing group of men right here.

I crocheted that dress for Jacey's blessing. It's fun that she and Jetta share it (& cheaper too).

Jetta's blessing was beautiful.

The 5k-ers. WOOOOOOT! We did it!

Mommy Linda and all 5 of her daughters! (oh, and Ethan). I love you all!

Fun on ole BLUE MT.

Swimming lessons.

Kitchen redo.

Before: ugly brown carpet and ugly yellow wallpaper.

After: 18" tile floors, brown walls and white bead board &

trim. Thanks to Jake and Carrie, Tony and Jennie McClain, Martin Pope, McKay Young, Ryan Summers, Jordan Beckman, Cody Hess and Jeremy McClellan. Couldn't have done it without any of you! We LOVE our new kitchen!

Our friend Bobbi invited us to her parents' farm. We had a great time!

Bobbi with my Jentz..

....me with her Aezlyn.

Funny face. She's always sticking her tongue out.

Jacey decorated her with tinsel.

Cute cousins. Special friends.

Here are some random pics and stories to go with them.

Jacey's good at not letting the cat out of the bag! Ha ha! Poor Fluffy.

Jax competed in the Pine Wood Derby for the last time. He designed it, helped cut it out and sand it, painted it himself and named it "Lightning." You can't tell in the pic but he painted lightning bolts on it. The silver part is all the coins duck taped to the front to weigh the sucker down. He won one of the races with "Lightning" and was mighty proud, though his stud-muffin, I'm-so-awesome-I-can't-even-smile face doesn't show it.

As you may know, I do crazy things when Cody is away. This past weekend was no different as he attended state track, but nothing bad happened (like the time I accidentally flooded the laundry room-oopsie). This time, I borrowed my good friend's double stroller (thank you, Jill) and made all the kids participate in a 5k walk. Jax was a super sport and pushed Jentz in the umbrella stroller, while Jacey and Javen took turns riding by Jetta in the back or front of the double. We did pretty good, alright, all things considered and had an overall good time. We're training for a 5k on the 4th of July. Hopefully practicing while pushing an extra 100 lbs (give or take) will really let me fly when I run it solo.

This is Jentz. He is 2! Those are nursing pads. 'Nuff said.

Here's my sweetie pie. Babies are so angelic when they're sleeping.

While boiling eggs for Easter, one sorta popped open but didn't break off, leaving half of the yolk just hanging out. It looked so funny. But I drew a face on it to give it some character. How crazy is that?! His name is Bubble Head :)