I have to admit the statement “love is colorblind” gets on my nerves. I understand the sentiment behind it. When someone says that, they mean that they love someone no matter what color they are. The thing is, you only ever hear white people say this. It’s almost like they are saying color doesn’t matter. I probably said something like this before I had two African American children. The problem is, in this world, color does matter. I have witnessed stares and comments when I have been out with my children. I will never forget standing in line at Wendy’s one summer, when a man behind me made a very racist statement out loud that he thought was funny about the African American people working behind the counter. My children were sitting at a table waiting on us. Right after the man made that comment, Nate came running up to me and jumped into my arms. I turned around and looked at the man’s shocked face as he looked at us. I probably didn’t handle it well as the things Jeremy and I said after that caused the man to leave pretty quickly.
It makes me sad that Nate and Amira will face discrimination in their lives. I wish it wasn’t that way, but it is. Having white parents will probably make it harder for them. I can never truly understand what it is like to be discriminated against because of my skin color. I came across a really interesting blog post about this and wanted to share it. This is a great blog by the way from a family serving as missionaries in Haiti.
If blogging was my job I would be fired right now. My last post was September 1. It’s now the middle of November. So I figured if there was anyone left who actually reads my blog I would put a post up.
Honestly, I’ve been trying to decide whether to even continue this blog. I have always thought it was a little narcissistic to be writing a blog about our lives and expecting people to actually care. On the other hand it’s nice to have a record of things. Sometimes I look back at my old posts (the good and the bad) and that’s kinda neat. This started out as a blog to chronicle Amira’s adoption and bringing her home so I’m not sure if I will continue. Just some random thoughts going on through my head right now. I will try to post a true update on Amira and everyone else soon, but for now I thought I would come back with another installment of Life with Evan.
As Evan was unpacking his lunchbox the other day I noticed he had not eaten much of his food.
Me: Evan, why didn’t you eat your lunch.
Evan: I wasn’t hungry.
Me: Why?
Evan: The boy sitting beside me threw up.
Me: Yuck. Why did he do that?
Evan: The girl beside him threw up.
Me: You didn’t throw up, did you?
Evan: No, but it was very close.
Evan’s answer to everything is: your face. For example, the toilet in my bathroom keeps running and I said “Your father did not fix this toilet”. Evan says: “My father did not fix your face”.
Me: The bread is almost done.
Evan: Your face is almost done.
Evan has recently been making wallets out of duct tape. His friends have started ordering wallets for Evan to make them. He comes home and works on his orders. The kid will probably make more this year than I have from photography. He even has requests for his own business card. He told me the other day he needs his own office while he is working. He is under a lot of stress with all his orders and he can’t concentrate with all the noise in this house. I told him I was getting an office before he did. His response: Your face is getting an office.
Here it is September and I am only on part 2 of my Nicaragua update. Last time I think I ended on Sunday after we got back from the resort. On Monday we decided to go visit Cristo Rey. Cristo Rey is basically an open field out in the middle of nowhere where people live in really bad conditions. The government of Nicaragua decided to relocate some people in the city that were poor. They picked them up, bused them out to a field, and dropped them off. They had nothing. No running water, no houses, no food, no electricity. Tim Bagwell and some local pastors have been working there to help these people. They have started building houses. There is a giant water tank now. They also started a feeding program to feed the children there one meal a day. It started with 100 kids, now it is around 170 and they have to turn kids away.
We weren’t sure if we could make it into Cristo Rey. We were there during the rainy season and it’s all dirt roads going into there so there was a chance we would get stuck. We decided to try so that we could help with the feeding program and also give out some bags we had made for the children with school supplies, toiletries, and candy. We took some interns with us so we decided to all pile into a 16 passenger van to save money. There was 21 of us so it was pretty uncomfortable. As we drove into Cristo Rey we began to see some really bad living conditions. We passed a huge dump which I will talk about later.
Of course as we got close we got stuck. We all got out of the van so that we could try to push it out. As we did a bunch of people came out of these rickety houses and helped us push. It was a really neat moment. These people just offered to help us, no strings attached. As they pushed the bus out everyone around started clapping. It was pretty cool.
We were pretty close to the feeding program so we walked the rest of the way. A couple of us were hanging back. I had my camera around my neck. As I walked by the houses women would come running out and put their children down in front of me to take their pictures. Here is one of the kids a woman brought to me.
When I got to the feeding program the youth kids were already helping hand out food to the children. The kids were all sitting eating their food, while other kids waited in line. The portion was not huge but it has made a huge difference in the health of the children in Cristo Rey. Having one healthy meal a day when you used to have next to nothing is a big improvement.
I noticed one little boy who was naked there. Later Chris Bagwell told us that they have given that child clothes many times but his mother always sells them to make money. Chris watches and makes sure that this child eats so that no one will take it.
Everyday the food runs out and they have to turn children away. That day was no different. After the children were done eating they took their bowls and stacked them up. I saw a little boy later who had been turned away going through the dirty bowls trying to find a scrap of food. It broke my heart. Here he is.
After the food was gone we handed out the bags we had made up for the kids. They were very excited for them. One little girl followed me around most of the day. Here she is enjoying her pixie stick.
Soon after that it started to rain so we had to leave. If the roads got too bad, we could have been stuck there. We passed the landfill again on the way out and I don’t think I can even describe it. I don’t have any pictures either. We were crammed into the van and I think I was just in shock. A truck dropping off trash was there and adults and children were digging through it looking for anything they could find.
I was sad to leave Cristo Rey. I honestly could have stayed there all day and spent time with the people there. I have struggled being back here in the US, just as I did each time I came back from Ethiopia. I don’t like what I see here, yet I begin to become wrapped up in it the more I am here. The first few minutes I was back on US soil, I witnessed a woman complaining because she had to wait in line at the airport, like that is even a real problem to have. The day after I stopped in to get something at Wal-Mart and almost cried when I walked in there and saw all that stuff. Why did I like it so much in Cristo Rey? It was uncomfortable and sad. I have thought about this a lot since I have been back. I think it’s because in Cristo Rey I saw Jesus. I saw Him in the faces of the children. I saw Him in the people who were so happy to see us that they would come out and help us and ask nothing in return. I saw Him in our youth as they fed hungry children.
I may get some flack for my next statement. Very often I don’t see Jesus here. I don’t see him in “Christians” who have their own agenda and are only interested in what I can do for them. I don’t see Him in churches where most of the budget goes to worthless crap like the newest props or cushy new seats instead of helping those who need it. And sometimes I don’t see Him in myself here. I don’t want to come across as super spiritual because if you knew me in real life, you would know that I am definitely not. But there is something wrong when we live the way we do here and in other countries people are dying because of lack of food and water.
There is a documentary being made about the Bagwells and the work that they do in Nicaragua. The film crew was there while we were. It looks like it’s going to be really good. Here is a link to a short trailer. It shows the landfill in this clip.
I will leave you with one last picture. The other day I was jealous of a friend’s neighborhood because they have a better pool than my neighborhood and the houses are bigger than ours. Then I thought of this.
Today was the first day of school for all four kids. This year I sent an 8th grader, 4th grader, 1st grader, and kindergartener back. I thought I would be really happy, but honestly it was kinda sad for me. For 13 years I have had kids home with me and now they are all gone. It’s almost like the day I have been dreading for a long time. I kept thinking about the day they put Nate in my arms and how much he needed a mother, how he use to cry and cling to me. Then today he marched into Kindergarten with no fear. I guess that means I’ve done my job, but it’s still hard. Things are changing and I have to figure out how to adapt to those changes. Here are some pictures from today.
It’s been way too long since I blogged. Things have been crazy busy. We have been back from Nicaragua for almost two weeks now. So I wanted to start posting about our trip. To sum it up it was an amazing trip. I fell in love with Nicaragua and the people there. I already miss it. I am going to do a series of posts about the trip. We left on Thursday, July 14. Our flight out was around 5 pm. There was a group of sixteen of us. Four chaperones and twelve teens ages 13 through 19. We switched plans in Florida and then flew into Managua, Nicaragua. By the time we arrived to our guest house it was around 2 or 3 am Nicaragua time. We all crashed for the night.
One of the main reasons we were in Nicaragua was to help Tim and Chris Bagwell who are American missionaries who have been in Nicaragua for 10 years. The next morning (Friday) we took the Bagwells and two of their children (who are adopted from Nicaragua) to a resort on the ocean. The resort was about a 45 minute drive. It was a nice resort and had air conditioning which was so great. We played with the Bagwells children and took care of them alot so that Tim and Chris could relax and get a break. They have not had a vacation in 10 years. We were at the resort for two nights. Here are some pics from the resort.
The resort had a Michael Jackson show
Resort swimming pool
We had a service on the beach on Sunday and four youth were baptized.
On Sunday we headed back to the guest house. To be continued….
Tomorrow my hubby, my oldest daughter, and myself leave for our missions trip to Nicaragua. Lots of stuff floating through my head tonight. I don’t like leaving my younger kids, but I know they will be fine. My mom is staying with them. Amira is already saying how much she will miss us. It’s the first time we have been away from her this long since we’ve brought her home.
I am trying to shut my brain off tonight to get a good sleep for our journey. I will blog about it when I get back.
Hope everyone has a good time celebrating the 4th.
My kids seem to think that every holiday is an excuse to dress up, paint their faces, and act weird. Also have you noticed that Nate rarely has a shirt on? He has an issue wearing clothing. If I can get him to keep his pants on, then we’re good. Could be interesting in Kindergarten this fall.
If blogging was my job, I would be fired right now. So much has happened in the last few weeks, but everytime I think of posting, it just seems very trivial. We are getting ready for our missions trip to Nicaragua next month and we are focused on that.
We have been very busy since the kids got out of school a few weeks ago. Here’s how Amira and Evan feel about school being out
Last night I was watching House Hunters on HGTV. It’s one of my favorite shows. There was a family on who lived in a house that was 7500 square feet and the husband lost his job. They had to downsize to a house that was around 3500 square feet. The houses they looked at were still gorgeous and very large. The entire show they complained about everything from how small the rooms were, to no stainless steel appliances, to where the bedrooms were located. They even complained because the master bathroom had only one toilet. Seriously? I didn’t even know there were master bathrooms that had two toilets.
I guess it’s all about perspective. Maybe if this family went to Africa or another third world country for a week, they would come home and thank God that they have a home at all. Yesterday I went to the dollar store and when I got in line there were maybe 3 or 4 people in front of me. It was taking a little longer than normal. This guy got in line behind me and started complaining about how ridiculous it was that there was only one line open. I had to bite my tongue. We were only in line maybe 5-10 minutes. My perspective is very different from his, I guess. I made sure I was super nice to the cashier because I knew she was going to get a verbal thrashing from the jerk behind me.
Yesterday I just wanted to move to a deserted island by myself and not be around people. It made me think of this video. I have seen this before and it always makes me laugh, but it’s so true.
It’s been a while since I actually posted an update. Things have been crazy busy. With four kids I guess that’s the way it’s going to be. Here’s a condensed version
Spring break was in April. I will post some pictures.
I became a parent to a teenager. Ahhhhh!!!!! Let me just say teenage girls are tough. There is constant drama.
Next week is the last week of school. I can’t believe it’s almost summer vacation.
Nate got registered for kindergarten so in the fall all my kids will be in school.
We are very busy fundraising for our summer missions trip to Nicaragua. I am helping organize everything so it’s very busy.
I will do another post sometime on Amira. We have had some setbacks and some breakthroughs.
I started running again. I enjoy it but my hip and knee hurt so apparently I am 80 years old.
I am working on starting my own photography business. I want to start doing photo shoots soon. I am very nervous and excited about it.
Ok, that’s enough for now. Everyone but my family will probably find this post boring. Here are some pictures.
Coming Home 
