
My mother died last month, at the age of 97. She was an extraordinary woman, working in a factory during WWII, getting a degree in Chemistry, and working for the Bureau of Standards in DC. Then she had her first child, and in line with the practice of the time, she gave up work to raise a total of five of us with a lot of care and attention. She was a private person and didn’t want a funeral, so we had a picnic in the park to celebrate her life.
In lieu of a formal tribute, here is a partial list of things I learned from my mother.
She taught me to try hard at school and be proud of my successes, which is not always easy for a girl.
She taught me to always speak my mind and stand up for what I believe. A friend once told me that she envied the way people listened when I spoke, and I got that partly from Mom and the emphatic way she expressed herself.
She taught me to play bridge, which was her passion, but also lots of simpler games and would happily play them with me for hours.
She set an example as a confident driver and taught me that a yellow light means ‘Step on it’. She had a perfect mental road map of DC in her head and could drive you anywhere.
She taught me to enjoy a good bargain and to manage my money.
She taught me not to be too worried about housekeeping. A bit of a mess wouldn’t kill me, and I would probably have better things to do with my time.
She taught me to enjoy my down time in my own way. I got from her my love of books, plays and movies. My parents met when they were cast in a play together at a church in Washington, and Mom always enjoyed being carried away by a story.
She used to sit at the piano and beautifully play Moonlight Sonata, Claire de Lune, and other pieces. She taught me how to play the piano, though I never progressed far. I would stumble through workbooks while she cooked, occasionally shouting No! from the kitchen when I played the wrong note.
Impressionist paintings were a favourite of hers, and she would often take me to the National Gallery to wander around.
She taught me to crochet and sew and she was always making quirky things with the Homemakers Association.
She grew beautiful roses, dogwoods, azaleas, candytuft, and she made lovely flower arrangements. She also loved visiting gardens and seemed to know the name of everything she saw.
She taught me to love October, the month when we both were born. The summer’s humidity and insects have mostly gone, and although the colorful flowers are fading, the leaves can be vibrant and the sky such a beautiful blue.
She taught me how to bake and that everyone enjoys homemade baked goods.
She gave the best hugs.