Happy New Year

I hope everyone has a happy and prosperous new year. I'm slacking, I know. I'm home with my greens on the stove so I can go out and eat red beans and rice and watch football I don't care about tomorrow.
At least when I get home, I won't have much to do to finish out the New Year's Day meal.
Ya'll have a good one, and thanks for visiting my little corner.

Rain

Damn, it's raining cats and dogs here. I guess I should go see if I can catch one to support my habit.
Man sells dog to buy beer

Ass Wings

Just for Syd.

More snow

Annie is gone to visit the parents, Lucy won't be here until morning, I have the whole house to myself tonight. I went out for a bit and beat up on The Princess in a couple of games of darts, talked to some friends, had a good time. I came home early, with my hot ass wings and the intention of enjoying having the place to myself. Running around naked, jumping on the couch, whatever...
Annie could have told me she put all the feathers from this morning in the kitchen trash. The irony was not lost on me when I went to throw away my chicken bones and was swarmed with feathers.
Bitches, all of them.

No, it's not snowing

Annie got new pillows for x-mess, so she gave the girls an old one to make their lives a bit more comfortable. Of course the bitches had a pillow fight last night. Looks like Veronica lost.

Volunteers?

Someone needs to teach Lucy how to drive a stick shift. I tried, once. I have no desire to try again.
My baby is a 95 Jeep Wrangler, and she and Lucy didn't get along. I should mention, Lucy has the attention span of a goldfish. I'm willing to say, give trombone lessons in exchange.
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Time Waster

There's some pretty funny shit here
Unusual eBay feedback. A couple of examples.

POSITIVE: Thanks for great Rainbow Brite lunchbox. Should shrunken head be inside?

NEUTRAL: Excellent communication, but should've poked holes in box before shipping the kitten. Refunded.

Dirty Darts

The Dirty Old Man beat my ass twice tonight, so he's a happy camper. We won't get into the fact that I cleaned the floor with him the last few times we played. He's making gumbo tomorrow, and I will be there to partake, so what's a game or 2?
Today was my Monday, it's gonna be that way the rest of the week dammit. I don't want to work, I need to win the lottery tonight.

Just a mess

I have to get this out of my head, so it goes here. I've written and saved to draft, but it's not working for me. Apparently I need to post it. This is not me looking for sympathy, so don't even think about it.
My sister died on Dec. 3rd, so that X-mess was ugly. That's also the last time I stayed "home" for X-mess. We had a tradition of me being there for a day or few, and we'd open gifts at midnight X-mess eve.
After she died, I went nuts for a year or so. I would drive down to the cemetary all the time just to talk to her. It didn't matter what time or what day of the week, I was there a lot. That was 18 yrs ago.
Baby Sis has moved in right behind Mom's house, so I was "home" this x-mess for the first time in 18 yrs. I stayed at Baby sis's house, but I was still there if you know what I mean.
She put baby to bed about 8 and she and I stayed up talking, catching up, it was nice. We were talking about M, (our sister) and x-messes past in the kitchen a bit after midnight when the train under her tree went nuts, toot-tooting and chug-chugging. I thought the cat set it off, Baby Sis went to check it out, and it was turned off, battery operated, new batteries. I told her M was saying hello.
We told mom that x-mess morn and she just looked at us funny, she was up at that time and she doesn't know why. She believes in ghosts too, so we're all good on that.
Nephew has brought hope to all of us, but sadness that M isn't here to share it so x-mess was bittersweet. I just find it amusing she picked on me when she showed her ass with the train. I always wanted one as a kid and never got it, so she had to pick that to get our attention.
I went to the cemetary before I came home, and for the first time in awhile, I cried the whole hour it took me to get here, and more.

Dad's house

Lucy and I went to Dad's for X-mess today. We pigged out on some good food, my stepmother is a great cook, hung out with Step-niece and kid, it was a good day. Nephew had to work, bummer. We finally got home and had to go to the grocery store so I could make candy for my bar buddies. Right now Lucy is cooking breakfast, still no Waffle House dammit. Oh well.
Hope everyone has a good holiday since I'm outta here tomorrow to go to Mom and Little Sis's.

Breakfast

Annie's no fun. She won't take me to breakfast. I guess I'll have to just go to bed. "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" isn't quite doing it for me.
I'm wanting some Waffle House, flourescent lights stabbing your eyes, half a cow cooked to order in front of you along with some over easy chicken embryos and strong black coffee. Yum.

Worthless

I'm at work. We're closed today, but my list of things to do is 500 miles long. Unfortunately for the people on that list, I'm highly unmotivated to actually do any work. I just got back from lunch with Lucy and her sister which isn't helping things any. I think I'll finish debugging the customer service chick and go home.

Goin to prison

I stopped at the post office tonight, I just needed a stamp. The machine that takes my money and spits out my stamps had stickers all over it. Those stickers said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I can't help you." I, being a nerd, had a pen in my pocket. So I wrote "You suck ass" on every one of them. FUCKERS.
This is like the third time this has happened, it's not like I need a stamp everyday.
FUCKERS.
I'm pretty sure they have cameras in there, so, our government being what it is..... You know the rest.
Ya'll will bail me out won't you?

I forgot about the Damsel in distress

Saturday I had to go rescue Annie. Since Alabama is the asshole of the South, we're not allowed to gamble. At. All. They took out Annie's crack machines a couple of weeks ago because they decided to fix the loophole that allowed video gaming. We have no lottery, we suck ass.
So, the point of all this is, Annie took off across the state line to Tn Saturday morning to buy lottery tickets. She won $500 on a scratch-off and got so excited she locked her keys in the car. It was cheaper to call me to drive the 20 miles than to call a locksmith. I go pick her up, we meet Lucy for lunch, get on with our lives, all is well. I think I got screwed, she bought my gas and lunch. Hmmm, maybe I should have asked for more.

Something different

Ok, I'm a bit strange. I found this hilarious.

Bodyguard

I went to G*nder Mtn with Annie tonight to buy a gun for her dad. I was just along for the ride because she was nervous about carrying that around with her, and I'm nice that way. I wasn't nice by the time we got out of that place, I was one grouchy ass Bitch. She, the person who never notices anything, made a comment on the way home about getting testosterone poisoning from being in there. Grasshopper is learning, I'm so proud.

Yes, I'm spoiled

Lucy is awesome ya'll. She has picked up and WRAPPED all my X-mess gifts for me. She also gave me my gifts early since, yeah, I whined a bit. I got a new tv and a dvd recorder. Annie is all jealous the recorder is going in my room ha.
Now I just have to come up with something really great for Lucy. Hmmm.

Not Good

There has been a shooting at my happy hour hangout. You'll be surprised to know that's a Friday's. A lot of my friends are regulars or staff there. Noone I know was hurt, but apparently it was not pretty. All I know right now is some punk walked in and shot 4 people at the bar, 2 are dead and the other 2 aren't good.
I could go into a rant about WTF is wrong with people, but these days not too much surprises me.

**UPDATE**
False news report last night, only 1 dead. Still 1 too many.

Once upon a time...

there was a bar here in town, where Lesbians, and Bikers, and Rednecks (oh my) all hung out in peace. I really miss that place. Tonight Lucy and I ran into some people from there that we haven't seen in awhile. We had a great time. Obviously, we stayed out past our prescribed bedtime, especially since Annie was out of town and we have the house to ourselves, but yep, still a great time.
Before all that we went to dinner with the girls at one of the fine dining establishments, yes I had to dress up, and yes, dinner was awesome.
Now Lucy sits down and hands me her hairbrush, WTF? Says apparently we're an old married couple. I guess she's right. I brushed her hair before finishing this.

My name is Dan...

Yesterday I went to Subfuckingway for lunch. I ordered, spent a few minutes telling her about my sandwich, what I wanted, didn't want. She's wrapping it up and asks me, "Your name wouldn't happen to be Dan would it?" I just said no, and she goes on to tell me how much I look like Dan.
I can see when I'm wearing a cap and you don't really look, yesterday was button-down shirt, khakis, actual hair, and I'm Dan. I give up.
I should have been a Mortimer or Xavier or something, fuck Dan.

Bet Syd is jealous

Wisconsin Man Runs Over, Eats Seven-Legged Transgendered Deer
Thursday , December 14, 2006

FOND DU LAC, Wis. — Rick Lisko hunts deer with a bow, but got his most unusual one driving his truck down his mile-long driveway.
The young buck had nub antlers — and seven legs. Lisko said it also had both male and female reproductive organs.
"It was definitely a freak of nature," Lisko said. "I guess it's a real rarity."
He said he slowed down as the buck and two does ran across the driveway Nov. 22, but the buck ran under the truck and got hit.
When he looked at the animal, he noticed three- to four-inch appendages growing from the rear legs. Later, he found a smaller appendage growing from one of the front legs.
More here

Now, I have a problem...
Ok, this afternoon, this seemed a bit funny since I was just surfing, wasting time, ready to go........ Now, I'm not happy. Apparently the reporter needed to check dictionary.com before giving this piece a title.
trans·gen·dered /trænsˈdʒɛndərd–adjective
1. appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, as a transsexual or habitual cross-dresser.
2. Appearing as, wishing to be considered as, or having undergone surgery to become a member of the opposite sex.
3.involving a partial or full reversal of gender

Of course, it is Fox News, but they supposedly got it from the AP so...
Are we supposed to believe the deer called up Doc Thumper and said "Hey, I'm not sure about my sexuality, how about you come over and give me a set from the opposite sex and let me take it for a test drive?"
Doc Thumper says "Sure, and it's your lucky day, I can throw in a few extra legs at no charge."
Unfortunately, before our special deer can go to the local "Doe See Doe" club, some yankee redneck ends all the fun. I'm pretty sure this wasn't what he/she had in mind when fantasizing about being eaten.

Bah Humbug

This is exactly what it feels like around here too. I'm going to have a beer or 12. Ya'll have a good night.

Asshole overload

I went home and cooked dinner for Annie and myself tonight, intending to be a good girl and stay in for the evening. The Princess wanted me to throw darts (Yes, we made up.) I went out mainly because Annie doesn't seem to know how to act when I'm home during the week since I'm usually not. We tend to get in each other's way a lot.
Everything was cool till T showed up. He's a grade-A jerk and gets on my nerves easily. He was quietly doing that, until the other 2 got there, then it became full-on testosterone poisoning. It was time to go home.
Annie was irate because the dvd player wasn't working, and that's my fault for some reason (hit a switch in the back speed cleaning for the parents? I dunno.) Also, her flashdrive isn't operating properly, so she couldn't save any of the work she did while I was gone. Needless to say, she's a bit pissy. Oh well.

Ima Wuss

My new name. I stopped at the convenience store on my way home tonight for beer and gas and whatever.. I left the place with $5 in my pocket. A little old lady stopped me, in her car, called me "Sir" and asked for money for gas to get somewhere. I gave her the $5 because I figured if she's for real, it ups my karma, if not, oh well, it's only 5 bucks. I tell Annie when I get home and get "So, you gave her 5 bucks for her crack habit." She's probably right. As usual, I'm hoping she's wrong. If nothing else, I'm God Blessed by a crack whore.

Whew!

I'm glad Paris Hilton has released a statement saying "Britney and I are just friends" contrary to some gossip going around. If they were joining the team I was gonna have to turn in my "Dykes R Us" membership card.

X-mess gifts

I almost forgot about these. I gave out a few a couple of years ago. I do believe I need to order some more.

Lazy

Lucy and I went to a store to pick up some dart flights and assorted sundry, then grocery shopping. I made a pot of beef stew for dinner. (Yes, I can cook, shut up.) She and Annie had smores in between playing cards. It's been a nice, peaceful day. Tomorrow we're going to see the nephew and then back to town for dinner with 30 or so of our closest friends, or something like that anyway. I'll be looped on sake tomorrow night.
I'm slipping, I don't have anything to bitch about. Well, I could probably come up with something, but I'm warm and my belly is full so I think I'll just enjoy it.

I'm being persecuted

Annie and Lucy are worrying me. You remember this post where I was accused of being unfaithful. I wasn't, just so you know. (Lucy's nemesis was flirting with me at the bar so I had to run home and tell her that, just because.)These two have sent me out on my own and I've been told when I call to see where they are, that "We'll be out as soon as we get our clothes on", and "Oh, She just stopped by the house to pick me up" (which takes forever). Also, Lucy bakes for Annie, I'm lucky to get a potato chip. I need to keep an eye on this I think.

Some Fool...

has put up a miniature Christmas tree right outside my office. It's sitting on a cardboard box. They don't know how much restraint I must exercise NOT to dropkick that mother everytime I walk out. It's still early, it may happen. I'm sure you'll hear about it if it does.

Stupidity

I was going to delete the last post, but decided to keep it as a reminder to myself not to let things fester in my little brain, and not to blog drunk and pissed off.
I've gotten better about the first part, I usually say my piece and the world goes on. I've let this shit with The Princess go on for a few months, keeping my mouth shut so as not to hurt his feelings. That won't be happening anymore. I haven't lost my temper that badly in a long, long time and I'd rather not do it again anytime soon. Assuming we still have a friendship, which at this point I'm not sure either of us wants anymore, I will not hold back my feelings to spare his. As for drunken blogging, nah, not gonna stop that.

Holiday rage

I have serious issues this time of year. Tonight, I was trying to make nice with The Princess after a long period of "nevermind". We weren't getting along. Things escalated to the point where I got mad at him and threw a beer glass into a rung on the back bar where we were sitting. It rang out throughout the bar. The bar got quiet, that's never good. When I got to the front to cash out, and was asked about the noise, I told her it was me, being stupid. And I apologized again after I paid the tab, she was ok, it was me...he gets off with being a dumbass because I was the one that went ballistic.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to know everyone.

Goin straight to hell...

Are you guilty of the sin of lust? Take the test to find out.

I couldn't resist, it was hilarious.
One of my favorites.
2. Select the statement that most closely describes your feelings:
It is important for me to feel confortable and happy with a person before I feel satisfied with them sexually.
It is important for me to feel comfortable with a piece of furniture, passerby, pet, or vibrating device before they satisfy me sexually.

Genius aka (unprintable) tagged me

for the 6 weird facts about me meme.

Actually, there is nothing at all weird about me, but I'll give it a try.

1. I have to polish my tooth for at least 15 minutes every night.
2. I'm trying to patent the "Extenda-Razor" that I use to shave my back.
3. I must have a kerosene lantern in the outhouse, even during the day.
4. I once loved swinging from the ceiling fan, but after the unfortunate open door incident, I had to give it up.
5. I carry on conversations with the dogs, and we understand each other.
6. I have a blog.

A Winter Poem.....so true

I found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you.
It was to me and it's very well written.
ENJOY!

WINTER POEM
The best piece of English literature I've seen in quite a while....
try to memorize this prose by next December.....

" WINTER "
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

" SHIT It's Cold ! "
The End

I won

Yes, that's Lucy's bra on my head. And yes, she took the picture, with the stipulation that it's the only one I can show you. Oh well...

I've set a new record...

I've only been called a bitch 4 times today (that I know of). All by Lucy, and all recently. Part of the reason is because she beat ME 5 games out of 6 throwing darts. Hell HAS frozen over. She's extremely happy, it's taken her 5 years to accomplish this. It'll take me a lifetime to live it down.
Now I'm off to lose my ass playing strip poker. Wish one of us luck.

Banned in Maine

Shelton Brothers accuses Maine of censorship for denying applications for labels for their 'Santa's Butt' Winter Porter. The state claims the label is inappropriate for children.

So what is the legal drinking age there? 2?

Chinese

I have been accused of going out to meet another woman while picking up food for the ingrates I kinda, sorta live with. I'm offended.
Out of the goodness of my heart I went to pick up food since Lucy just awakened from a well deserved nap, and Annie, well, was just being Annie.
Apparently while I was gone, they talked. It's uncharacteristic of me to drive anywhere if I don't have to, and it wasn't really close to home, so I was convicted quickly. They were surprised when I showed up in a timely manner with food.
They don't know, I was just dying for some vegetable fried rice, otherwise, I never would have gotten my ass off the couch. Bitches could have starved and I wouldn't care.

Somebody's gonna lose a trailer...

It looks like the weather is gonna get nasty here tonight. I suppose I should have taken a nap since The Handsome Devil will be keeping the household awake once the thunder starts. Oh well, at least it's almost Friday.
I'm off to oil the bicycle chain and find a bigger basket since Betty isn't exactly Toto.

HAH

You Are a Pegasus

You are a perfectionist, with an eye for beauty. You know how to live a good life - and you rarely deviate from your good taste. While you aren't outgoing, you have excellent social skills. People both admire you - and feel very comfortable around you.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

No more Sunshine

Ok, back to normal. You'll all be happy to know that I was just outside giving the ungrateful bitches fresh water and fell flat on my ass. (Ok, my back) Veronica stood behind me while Betty pushed. Try to do something nice...

There is a chance

Annie has been on a rampage for the last 3 days. Her new shoes were delivered Friday, but they weren't here. I thought it was A pair, it was 3, but that's beside the point.
The house across the street that had SO much traffic suddenly stopped having visitors, or inhabitants it seems. The guy met me in the driveway tonight with a package that was delivered there by mistake. He said he was waiting for someone to be home, he'd put it inside his house so noone would steal it. He hasn't been there much, and he's moving out, so he wanted to make sure we got said package.
I still have hope the world has not gone to total shit. That guy bringing the package over helps that a bit. He could have tossed it in the trash since he's leaving and the rental signs went up. I've never spoken to him before and I'm pretty sure Annie hasn't either, so it was very nice of him to go to that trouble.

You don't really want to know...

but of course I'm going to tell you anyway. I've spent more time in the restroom than I have in my office today. That in itself is bad enough, but since dinner last night consisted of beer and triple-hot wings, all I can say is it's been a less than stellar morning. Carry on.

Nothing exciting...

I was a good girl and stayed at home last night. Annie's parents are coming to visit today so we needed to do a bit of "parent-proofing." Get the bras off the ceiling fans, beer cans out of the sink, lube off the nightstands, that kinda thing.
I went to the grocery store on the way home and got a rotisserie chicken because I was too lazy to cook. You know the kind, they come in their very own handy-dandy ziploc bag. First thing Annie does is grab a knife and cut the bag open, knowing it reseals. The woman drives me nuts sometimes. After housecleaning we played cards till midnight, big fun at the Wolf house last night I tell ya.

Betty and Veronica

Betty is the blonde of course. Veronica got dumped on Annie's parents doorstep, knocked up. Betty is one of her 11 offspring and she's a pain in the ass. Veronica however, is a sweetheart.

I'm a bit late with thanks

What I'm thankful for....
I have both parents, married to great people who I love much.
I have Lucy, who loves me unconditionally, stupid girl.
I have many friends even tho I'm the bitch from hell.
I have a nephew who is beyond beautiful.
And I have the realization that it could all be taken away in a heartbeat.
So I'm most thankful that I have today to share that with you.

Nephew

I need to spend more time visiting little sis and nephew. I got there early Thursday so I could spend time with him. He's 5 months, I took a Popeye dvd, as much for him as for me since I haven't seen these in years. He lost interest, but he was so adorable I forgave him. Ya'll have to understand, I don't really like kids, but I'm in love with this one. His smile melted my cold old heart, and he smiled at me much because I was being stupid and making car noises at him. I've become ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. I'll try to refrain from bringing him up too often since it changes the tone of the blog, I mean I can't be the pottymouth you're used to if he's here.

Worthless

Lucy went shopping with her sister this morning while I slept. She's a better woman than I. She came back and we both slept, then went to dinner and darts with The Princess. I'm all ready to go back to sleep. We have to get up tomorrow and go to lunch at Dad's. Guess I'll make her watch Dexter with me for cheap thrills and pass out. Have a good night kids.

Happy Turkey Day

Hope everyone had a good day. I'm miserable, and I didn't even realize until I was on my way home that I got ripped off. Mom asked me if I wanted banana pudding or chocolate pie, I told her to surprise me. She did, I got neither. Hmph.

Ground rules for work

This is what I'd like to send out, unfortunately, I end up just saying most of it. No wonder my performance review mentioned working on my people skills.

This is not a joke, while I do have a great sense of humor, I rarely bring it to work.
1. If your computer is not functioning properly, try to tell me what's actually happening rather than saying "It ain't working right."
2. While I'm attempting to find out why "it ain't working right" go play in the street and leave me alone.
3. I am not your friend, I don't care if your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/kid is in jail/on drugs/abusive/knocked up or all of the above. Go play in the fucking street and leave me alone.
4. I have no desire to spend my breaks/lunch/free time with you. If I did, I'd seek you out. Don't feel the need to come looking for me, see above note about not being your friend.
5. Just leave me alone unless you really, really need me for something. I'm busy blogging, surfing, or actually working.

Somehow I knew...

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common. You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude. However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

Sounds like a plan...

Here is your horoscope
for Wednesday, November 22:

There's a definite 'wild child' energy running through you right now. It's time to gallop off in search of adventure. It's been far too long since you've kicked up your heels. Go ahead and paint the town red.

ETA: I was home by 8:00, so maybe a quarter of the town got painted a pale pink. I'm worthless lately.

Bitch

Lucy and I decided earlier that I've been slack at work. These people used to be afraid to talk to me, lately we have a bunch of newbies that I haven't set straight. I'll be taking care of that tomorrow.
I've been quite busy lately getting the piles of paperwork out of my office that accumulated during the great "need someone to work nights" drought of 06.
Done. Over. MS Bitch is back in town.

Tattoos for Christmas

I can see this one showing up at the family reunion too.

The GR8 TaT2 Maker is a toy tattoo gun for your little budding skin-artist: "Open up your very own pretend play tattoo parlor. This easy-to-use tattoo maker kit includes an electronic tattoo pen and funky stencils. Using soft, safe pulsating action, the tattoo pen creates realistic, washable designs with dramatic effects."

Dora?

Ok, who (I mean who's kid) is getting this for Christmas?

I need to rant

I've watched too much tv tonight, the commercials are killing me.
Cingular, "fewer dropped calls" my ass. Lucy has Cingular, it's a miracle if we can have a 2 minute conversation without her service cutting out.
Charmin, the bears are cute, but do I really need to know that baby bear only needs 3 sheets since Charmin is so absorbent? If bears shit in the woods how in the hell would 3 sheets do them any good? I thought a rabbit was the asswipe of choice for bears.

Football 2

Damn, food was good. I missed hundreds of dollars by a safety, but oh well. Food was good, beer was good, company was good. I'm a happy camper. Home with Annie and Lucy and the kids, brownies in the oven (for them, I don't eat much sugar.) Going to smoke with the dogs. Night kids.

Football

Today is the big college football rivalry around here, Alabama and Auburn. I really give a shit but I'll be going to watch the game at the bar because The Dirty Old Man is making gumbo and red beans and rice. Yum.

Geeeze

Ok, I know I'm not ancient yet, but alas, I am getting older by the minute. I can deal with the gray hair, (even tho I'm still blaming that on little sis, I sprouted a whole new crop during her pregnancy) and I can stand the fact that yes, some parts are further south than they used to be. But dammit, cheese no longer being my friend is completely unacceptable.
Rant over. As you were.

Spoiled Rotten

The Handsome Devil is a lucky dog. He gets the run of the house. The girls are mostly yard dogs. HD has decided he doesn't want to be a yard dog anymore. Annie tried to throw him out this morning, he wouldn't go. I asked him if he wanted to go smoke and we're all good. "Go out" means he's gonna be a yard dog whether he likes it or not. "Let's go smoke" means he'll have company while he does his business and then he'll be allowed back in. And some people think dogs are stupid.

The Dirty Old Man

It occurs to me I haven't introduced you to him, he's a great guy. I've known him forever and he scared the shit outta me for years because I was so shy. Now, we have a great relationship, he's a good friend (even tho he did kick my ass at darts tonight) He's a great cook, and cooks need aprons right? This is what I gave him for his birthday. He loved it.

Some of my favorite caps

The Big Dog one at the top that you can't quite read says "Do I look like a FREAKIN people person?" Yes, I think there's a theme here.

Dinner with the girls

We've started a monthly thing with The Widow and a couple of other ladies where we are going out to dinner. We had a great time tonight at a small, quaint spot The Widow suggested. I'm broadening my horizons since I'm a "dive bar, throw darts" kinda gal. Lucy laughs at me since she's a damn yankee who was a social butterfly when she was in Chicago. I did tell her I draw the line at a red hat dammit. She assured me I'd only get pink since I'm the baby in this bunch. Bitch.
In other news, we did go to my favorite dive and throw darts, and I won, well except for the 2 games Lucy won. The Princess and I beat up on Lucy and Annie a couple of times, so it's all good. Over and out.

I want this

More pictures here

Well Duh!

Stolen from boo

What Is Your Animal Personality?

Wolf
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TV

Now I remember why I didn't mind working nights too much. There ain't shit on TV.
Well, not that I was home most nights, but still. I came in at 8 something tonight, nothing worth watching, no Law and Order, no CSI ( the real one, not that NY shit)
I was disappointed. Guess I'll go to sleep, damn, that never happens.
Night kids. (Stay outta my dreams)

Dumb Dog

The Handsome Devil stole part of my dinner tonight. He didn't realize until too late that the part he took was cornbread loaded with jalapenos. Poor guy is gonna be looking for a creek to shit in tomorrow.

Sidenote: Yes, he knows better, but I wasn't in sight. And no, I did not burn myself while cooking it.

Work

I'm bored. I'm working nights this week, and I'm tired of it already. Annie calling wanting me to come hang out with her and The Widow isn't helping.
I thought about taking pictures of the amazing ventilation system we have in here, but I'm too lazy to go get my camera. I'll just let you use your imagination. Our crack maintenance team installed this shit. Here is the procedure.
1) Remove ceiling tile.
2) Take box fan and tie it to anything reasonably stable.
3) Run extension cord down wall through another ceiling tile and plug into nearest outlet.
4) Repeat 3 times.
The guys who supposedly actually know what they're doing haven't been back to finish the real ventilation since they tried to set the place on fire a couple of weeks ago. Might be a good thing.

Weekend recap

Friday. Think I threw darts.
Saturday. Think I had dinner and threw darts.
Sunday. I know I threw darts, badly.
All done, thanks for your time.

Elvis has left the building

My best friend at work left today, never to return (yeah right). She was Annie's best employee, my smoke buddy...damn, gonna miss her. Illegal smoke breaks just won't be the same. Annie and I went out and got drunk.
Funny thing is she is an Elvis FREAK. Her husband looks a lot like him too, but that's beside the point. She was born the year he died, Elvis, not her husband, so I'm just surprised at her obsession. Showing my age too, I've known her since she was a teen, but she's a pretty awesome person. I will miss having her in my life on a daily basis.

Not a bad view

from the backyard at work.

Tarot

Shamelessly stolen from Unacknowledged Genius.

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Happy Halloween

I wish I had found this place earlier. I SO would have had this on my porch.

http://www.extremepumpkins.com

I'm probably in trouble

I keep getting Google hits on this blog for ginormous...uh body parts that I attributed to Lucy some time ago. She just might kill me. So if your cheap entertainment falls off the face of the earth, Lucy killed me with another body part attached to a baseball bat.

Ya'll asked for it

Lucy enjoyed dressing me up entirely too much. She doesn't dress down too well either though.


As an added bonus, here's Annie.

DST

...can bite my ass. Time is time, just leave it alone. I've been in a funk all day because my schedule is messed up. Of course it probably doesn't help that I have the hangover from hell from the Halloween party last night. Jello shooters are not my friend.
Maybe I'll post pics tomorrow if blogger will allow, and if I think they're still postable after looking at them in the daylight. I'm not sure about me as a hooker, it was kinda scary. My Winnie the Pooh boxers kept creeping up my ass under that skirt.

I'm no longer allowed to cook...

even though it was toast, and early in the morning.

Waiting

Yep, just sitting here waiting for Lucy to call so I can go to bed. I worked late and met Annie and The Princess, thinking we would be throwing darts, but no, they were too busy playing the crack machines to save a dartboard for me. You know the one-armed-bandits that are popping up everywhere because someone figured out how to skirt the law and make them legal? Those things. So I lost a couple of bucks and we went somewhere else for a drink and bullshit. The Princess and I had a bit of a falling out a couple of weeks ago, so we're kinda trying to fix the friendship without actually going into what pissed me off that he knows pissed me off and we really don't want to talk about it. I know, it's stupid. It's just easier if I don't go off on him because he gets his feelings hurt so easily. And I can be a raging bitch when I'm pissed so.......just letting it go for now.
Yay, Lucy called, now I can go to sleep knowing how her day went. It was more boring that mine so all is well with the world. Sleep tight kids.

False Alarm pt 2

Apparently I missed all the fun. My friend who is leaving soon said she told her dept to take their purses and calmly exit the building. They looked at her like "Duh?" She reiterated, then they got to the office and my boss (our fearless leader) is screaming "Get out, go, go now."
This is the same woman who asked someone how to dial 911 on a cell phone. Yes, she's blonde. No, she's not stupid, but today she apparently set a precedent for stupidity. Geeeze, I need a new job.
During all the waiting around in the parking lot, I tried to enter the building to pee, it was about to become an emergency, boss told me to take my ass to McDonald's.
Yes, I jumped in the Jeep and went down the street to pee.
Hope I don't have anymore of these days.

False alarm

Annie told me this morning there would be a short power outage at work around 10, just so I'd be prepared when all the battery backups in my office went nuts. (Yeah right, like I'm gonna remember she told me when all hell breaks loose.)
Of course, it didn't happen, and about 10:50 I decided I needed to go Krogering. I'm strolling through the store with my Sour Gummy Lifesavers on my way to check out when Annie calls my cell to find out where the hell I am since the power is now out all over the building, not just the expected area. I'm almost back when cell rings again. This time it's frantic Annie, sparks are shooting out of something in the area where the guys were working. (The part of the plant with all the chemicals.) I pull into the parking lot just in time to see the mass exodus from the building, so of course I have to run to my office to get my camera, just in case.
Hope there were no fires anywhere else since we got 3 trucks for nothing.

Me?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 4 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Stolen from Syd, who got it from Sharon, yadda yadda yadda. I'm drunk bitches, I don't have time to link and whatever. Have a good night, and thank you for not having my name.

Scared a dog

I put the boombox in the utility room when I went out to grill earlier. Betty and Veronica were out there on their respective beds. Betty looked at it, put her ears all up, looked at it again, and ran out into the yard. I was listening to Etta James, so Etta and I are both disgusted with her behavior. Veronica on the other hand, was tapping a paw. Well, she is black, she understands. Betty is just too vanilla for the blues I guess.


I'm also without adult supervison this weekend so anything short of actual pictures of me setting things on fire is not admissable evidence. I swear I wasn't near that place.

Anonymity

As you can probably tell, I'm trying for a bit of anonymity here. I really don't want my family reading my blog. I can hear my mother now..."RAINBOW DANIELLA WOLF!What is all this profanity? You know I raised you better than that." Yes, Mom, you did. But this is me now. I'm sorry.
Recurring characters will be
Lucy - girlfriend
Annie - Roommate
The Widow - good friend
The Princess - Big Gay Boyfriend.
We also have a supporting cast of The Handsome Devil, as seen in "Couch" and Betty and Veronica as yet unposted. Thank you for visiting. Goodnight.

Couch

So last week Annie went to her parents house for dinner, leaving me alone in the house for the first time in forever. I got a beer and the remote and was about to get all comfy on the couch....but The Handsome Devil beat me to it. What a life.

Boring

Lucy abandoned work for the evening and we're watching re-runs of Sex and The City. I'm lulling her into a false sense of security before Dexter comes on. She loves horror movies, but Dexter creeps her out, I don't get it. On the other hand, I can't watch her movies but I love this series. Guess I'll get a cheap feel in here and there before she has to go home and leave me to freeze to death in this freak of a fucking weather event. (Now she's accusing me of using her... would I do such a thing?)

Annie gets her gun

Roomie is now officially named Annie. She declared war on squirrels today, with a pellet pistol.
Unfortunately Annie is blind as a bat and couldn't shoot even if she could see. Squirrels were sitting on the limb raising little placards with scores like -1, 0,-3, and LOSER. A few years ago she actually hit one, I figure he was running to make her feel better and just ran into the bullet, poor guy.

Age ain't nothing but a number....unless it's mine

Yesterday was Lucy's birthday. She's not celebrating. She's now 10 yrs older than when I met her 5 yrs ago. For some reason she felt the need to lie to me about her age. I give a shit how old or young you are if you're fun. She makes me feel 100 sometimes, but other times we're both about 15.
I know I've been on the old train lately, but mostly I really don't give a damn. I've lived longer than I ever thought I would when I was 16, haven't we all? But I digress... and I'm drunk, imagine that.
She didn't know I had a crush on Judi Dench, who is now 72, and my gray hair was still blonde, and I prefer movies from her era than mine, or actually before both of us were born. I'd rather watch "The Philadelphia Story" than "Love Story" anyday. I like the 3 stooges, the Marx Brothers, and Cary Grant. "Grease" is a guilty pleasure, I love that movie.
I'm sure I'll be back to bitching about my lot in life tomorrow, but today, Lucy rules.

The Bank

I went to the bank today. No biggie, happens every week or so. Drive thru, little camera lets them see me, I see them for a few seconds. Young guy shows up "I'll have this right out Mr. Wolf." I'm just thinking geeeze, and I'm not even wearing a ballcap, that's usually when I get called Mister. A few minutes (hours) later, same guy is back on the little screen, "I'm so sorry MISS Wolf, you have a nice day Ma'am." I was more offended at being called "Ma'am" than I was at "Mister." Damn kids anyway.

I'm pissed....

I missed a meal. My favorite bartender was cooking dinner last night. He does comfort food, chicken and dressing, potatoes, casseroles, awesome, fattening, filling..........yum.
I got sick and couldn't go.
There must be a bug going around. Yesterday I felt like I'd had about 15 bacon martinis, (See Syd for that.) Today I woke up in a pool of sweat and almost healed. Roomie did bring me some potato soup from his house so I'm better.
At least I wasn't there to lose money at poker.

Dinner & other shit

Lucy and roomie and I had dinner with The Widow tonight at Bonefish Grill. If you have one in your area, go there now and have the Bang Bang Shrimp. That shit was awesome.

Now Lucy is asking me who I want to have a threesome with since our potential third is out because she's become a man whore. Hmmmmm.
This started because someone I used to know from my before Lucy days got drunk with us and asked about a threesome because she really liked Lucy's ginormous boobs. (They're world famous ya know.) Roomie was insulted she wasn't invited. Poor thing.

So now we're taking applications for a third party, if you're interested please e-mail me and Lucy and I will discuss your potential for thirdality, ( yes I made that word up.)If you're Susan Sarandon, or Queen Latifah, you're automatically approved.
(If you're Judi Dench, it's just me baby, Lucy doesn't have to know.)

Just waiting

I'm waiting for Lucy to call so I can go to bed. Guess I'll tell the story about how we met since I'm here.
I had a personal ad on somewhere, I'd spent a year dating flakes when she came along.We started out as just friends, she wanted someone to hang out with, I wanted someone to get me out of my rut. We talked online quite a bit before meeting, she thought I didn't like her when we finally did meet in person because I was quiet.....she's not. Online I'm very chatty, I type better than I talk any day.
Finally, after a few months of chat and hanging out, we went to a movie. She kept pressing her ginormous boobs against me every chance she got, and I'm wondering if this is for real or if she has balance issues..... I mean really, she kept kinda falling into me, or turning around and there they were. I didn't know what to think.
After consulting a couple of friends, a tarot reader and Mother Teresa I decided she might be actually into me. I was already thinking I liked her ginormous boobs, (I mean her), a whole lot and maybe I wanted to get to know her better so I sent an e-mail pretty much saying "I love your ginormous boobs and would you like to have sex with me?" (I'm such a romantic.) About the same time I got mail from her saying her ginormous boobs really liked me etc, etc, etc.
I just said "Check your e-mail". We had both sent pretty much the same thing to each other. It was cool. So 5 years later, here we are.
And she has enriched my life no end.

One of those days...

Late to work, couldn't find keys when I was ready to leave, actually got there finally and realized I was an idiot about something I should have had done by now. Got that all fixed, yay, go to lunch, got someone else's burrito, kept dropping nachos in the floor, gave up, went to throw that away, dumped shit all over floor. Gonna finish off my milk, little ring from the jug fell in my cup, threw that away too. Finally, got another task done, bragged to roomie that I was a productive member of society today....... and everything went to shit. Printer I fixed earlier wouldn't work, other computer needed help, finally resolved at time to leave for the day. Going to dinner with The Widow at Hooter's of all places. Leave work, almost to cigarette place, starts raining like hell. Gonna pay for smokes with debit card cuz I'm short on cash, machine not working. Buy one pack and come home to let dog out. He doesn't want to go, it's raining. Threw him out anyway.Wade river thru parking lot to pay storage fee for the month, get to Hooter's, and.......waitress is flat chested. Geeeze.
Kidding, she was very nice, I wasn't hungry so mooched off appetizers from the other 2 and roomie and I threw a couple of games of darts afterward. Not a bad night at least.
Yep, I'm bored, I'm sure I'll be back in a minute or two.

I forgot where I was going

Ya'll should be proud of me, I'm doing this drunk from a laptop. Woohoo.
I had a topic and story, but it got left on the doorstep with my last cigarette and freaks going up and down the street between the crackhouses. (ok, not really crackhouses, maybe, it's just not a great neighborhood).
I remembered, aren't you happy? I saw an old friend tonight. She was a bartender way back in the day, I boycotted for 3 months when she got fired. I gained 30 lbs in those 3 months because of her. BITCH. She's great, I'm ok, things are good. She's still young and cute, and I gave up 3 months of drinking for her why???? OCD, oh yeah, I forget I have a touch of that. And control issues, and a tendency to stay too long at a party when I should be sleeping.
Have a good night, it's past my bedtime.

According to American Greetings....

Today is visit your cousin in prison day.
Wish I'd known that earlier.

Warning, sad shit

Today is my sister's 38th birthday. Well, would have been. She died in a car accident at 20.
She was just like Mom. Quiet but not like me. She never met a stranger. I'm the stranger your parents warned you about. M was the middle child, I'm the oldest and B is the youngest, she just turned 32. 3 different girls you'd never meet. I was shy, bookish and a bit dark (ok, still am) M was quiet, but not shy, friendly after the initial meeting, friend for life after that if you weren't a total flake. B is and always has been the spoiled brat with the big mouth. She's the true social butterfly.
B had a baby boy 4 months ago, my first nephew. Hopefully he'll keep me and the rest of the family from going thru our usual holiday depression. I hate Christmas, I don't think that'll change, but maybe it won't be so bad.

Sorry, I'll try to get off the gloom train soon.

Dexter

I just watched a rerun of the new show on Showtime called Dexter. Michael C. Hall, blood spatter expert, serial killer on the side. I liked it. Now I'll have to be home on Sunday night for it. I'm not usually home for tv, or watch much, but I do try to catch CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Without A Trace, Cold Case, The Closer, and Medium. Re-runs work on all plus Crossing Jordan and Dead Zone. Working nights all I got to see was CSI and a couple of others. I guess you see a pattern here, no wonder I like a show about a serial killer.
Yes, I'm the goth kid but goth wasn't even thought of back then so I was just a band nerd. Heh, pretty much the same thing.

Saturday night at home

Hell has frozen over. Lucy and I stayed home. How boring is that? It was soooooo nice. Roomie made comments at breakfast about our sex life that I won't go into because she's mistaken, then she left for like 3 hours tonight. You know what we did? Watched tv, Lucy played yahtzee on her cell phone while I played games and read comics online.
We never get to just relax, she only gets here on weekends because of her job and we're usually running to visit one or both of my parents, sister, etc. Then we have The Princess.......Roomie went out tonight and kept him from pouting too much because he expects us to be there. Every. Freaking. Night. Love him, but Damn.
And just for the record "Domino" ain't all that. Keira Knightley looks really hot, but that's about all.

oh my

I just heard Lucy say "cocksucker" for the first time. She was talking about a Diet Coke that spewed all over her. I believe her actual words were......nevermind, all bad, bad words. I spit beer I was laughing so hard. She's usually so reserved with those words, apparently I've been a bad influence.

TMI

So I have my period. (I was gonna say I'm on the rag, but the other sounded a bit nicer didn't it?) Anyway, I know you all have "period panties" too, so you'll understand my consternation. These drawers were purchased when I was about 50 lbs heavier, so they just don't quite fit right anymore. That means right now my ass is having them for lunch and I'm not a happy camper. On top of that, we're doing inventory and I'm blind from staring at spreadsheets for the past 2 days. Yep, it sucks to be me.

The Aftermath

Hello again world,
Here I am........ again...almost as drunk as when I started this shit. The family behaved themselves quite nicely today. My grandmother looked beautiful (other than 100 lbs lighter than her heyday) I always aspired to grow up to be a short round woman.
I forgot one of my cousins is a preacher, he did the service, and overall it was good. He reminded me of something I'd forgotten about being at Mamaw's house. I did thank him later for that.
It seems Methodists like to save your soul while you're at a funeral, Baptists don't give a damn, you're all going to hell but them. That part was entertaining for me ( yes, I know I'm going to hell, but I'll just be a coal shoveller, leave me alone).
I got many compliments on roomie's clothes, apparently I clean up pretty well.
This kills Lucy's idea of putting me in hooker clothes for Halloween, apparently I CAN look girly if I have to and get away with it.HA HA HA
Ok, as long as you know I'm drunk.......

Doom and Gloom

So, I wasn't ready to talk about this last night. During the awesome Marcia Ball show, my Dad called to tell me my grandmother had passed away. I knew it was coming, he told me Friday she was fading........but still. I rationalize it by saying hell, she was 91, she had Alzhiemer's, she didn't know me the last few times she saw me.......but still.
So what I'll bitch about is I have to dress up and go to the funeral tomorrow. I don't do dressing up very well. This should be interesting. I'm borrowing clothes from the roomie that look nothing like what I'd actually wear anywhere, but have to look good for the dysfunctional family who doesn't give a damn, Dad included.
I'll be glad when it's over, Mamaw's house hasn't smelled like breakfast in a long, long time, and that's what I remember from my childhood. It always smelled so good.
Enough of this, may have redneck fight stories later, hopefully not.

My girlfriend kicks ass

So YAY, got to hear music all afternoon and evening, no weather events to fuck things up. I ate way too much, drank almost enough, life is good. Got to see Marcia Ball (www.marciaball.com) boogie blues, she's great. Lucy went and bought me a ballcap, stood up front and taped most of the show on her cellphone, AND got the cap autographed for me. I'm wearing it now, I'm such a geek. Hope everyone else had a decent day, I'll be back tomorrow with doom and gloom.
Peace.

ETA: Lucy said I can't wear my cap to bed, dammit. Unfortunately she's caught me trying to wear my new shoes to bed one too many times.

Jam night

So I went to hear music, had some good food, was parked next to a beer tent, I was all happy waiting for Joan Jett. About 7:00, the weather started getting ugly. That wasn't a problem, had ponchos, don't mind getting wet.......Roomie and g/f were off getting free shit from the park when they called me and said we needed to leave. I'm like, ok, why? "They're talking about locking people in. " Yeah, ok. We leave and get home, hour later, hellacious thunderstorms, they've shutdown the stages, put everyone inside..... Glad I didn't stay, all those punk kids would have pissed me off no end, especially since I'm thinking they wouldn't have served beer in the prison camp. And they CANCELLED the rest of the night. No Joan for me, and I was too stupid to hang out downtown where everyone probably ended up since they couldn't play. D'OH

Lucy and I were out smoking earlier. She agreed, we were stupid, tomorrow night we'll be downtown afterwards, just in case we get to see all the scheduled acts, and in case they hang in town rather than running to the next gig. I'll get drunk either way, so it's a win, win for me.

Yep, I'm a loser

There is a music festival going on this weekend. It started tonight, and I have tickets, but I was too lazy to actually go. I do have an excuse, I don't like the bands playing, I was tired, yeah right, I threw darts instead of going. I will show up tomorrow tho, Joan Jett, The Wailers, couple of other people I can get into.....And Sunday, Marcia Ball.....love that woman.
People watching is always good too, but it was too late in the day, and looking like rain, and yeah, I'm still a loser, should have gone.
Anyway, tomorrow will be better and I will have shitloads of stories to tell just from being around all these people, it'll be cool.

Dogs

So we have dogs. Big dogs. Dogs with dirty ears. Why do they think I'm a giant napkin? I have slobber on one leg where one took a drink and ear shit on the other where roomie cleaned his ears and he came to me for some lovin'. They're great and I love em and all, but DAMN.
And I know I should be grateful they're big loveable pups, but still, DAMN.
Roomie called me the other day at work, I needed to come home. The pitbull a couple of houses over attacked the neighbor. After I got in my car and headed home it hit me that "Why in the hell am I rushing home? I don't know the dog or the neighbor." Such drama in my life, I should go back to night shift, at least then I amused myself.

Toys 2

Ok, this is the entire toy mentioned in the other post. Looks lethal either way to me.

My big, gay boyfriend (aka The Princess) is easily amused, so my girlfriend (Lucy from now on) likes to bring him happy meal toys, anything she thinks he might like. The last big hit was glowing gummy worms.

She threw something to me last week and asked me to blow it up. Being the compliant bitch I am I did, then saw exactly what you see in the photo below.

Me: "Uh, Hon, what is this and why does it have a penis?"

Lucy: "It's a happy meal mario something, it doesn't have a penis."

Me: "Hello, look at it."

Lucy: Hysterical laughter....

Me: "There is no way in HELL we are giving this to The P."

It's still here with me, but I'll probably give it to him this weekend just because it's too funny not to share.

Toys

This is part of a Happy Meal toy. I, for one, wasn't happy.

rambling

For some reason, out on the porch smoking, home early on a Friday night, looking at the crackhouse across the street.........it occurred to me. I used to like to draw, big sketchpad, charcoal......I haven't done that in years.
I'm afraid if I sat out there with a pad tho, I'd be targeted as a police sketch artist lol.

Maybe I should go with the guitar that I haven't played in I'm not sure how long. I'm having some kind of crisis, I haven't figured out which one yet tho. Maybe it's just boredom, yeah, that'll work.

I wanted to be a teacher when I was young, I don't know why other than I loved to read more than anything and I thought teaching other kids to read would be really cool. Then I got older, teachers don't make near enough money to live on.
What did you want to be when you were a kid? Anything fun? Did you get there? Just random questions.

Bad Habits

So smoking has come up, since you can plainly see my smoking accomodations in my profile pic. Yes, alas, I'm a smoker. I'm also quite the lush and potty mouth. "What hope is there for such a vile, inconsiderate person?" you ask. Not much sister.
I'm also a recovering Southern Baptist.....I figure they hate me more than I dislike them so I'm winning that one.
My doctor (and mother, and a host of other people) say I'm killing myself with my bad habits. My response is "Death is inevitable, I'm just in the express lane". Never fails to piss them off.

The reason for all this bile? I'm not sure. I guess I'm tired of all the really bad things happening in the world that noone really pays attention to anymore. But let me light a cigarette in a restaurant............whoooeeee, watch the cops come outta the woodwork.

Night shift

So it's the last week of my almost 5 month stint working nights. I'll miss parts of it, like staying up half the night since I am a night person by nature, but I won't miss the job. I'm just a glorified babysitter at the moment, watching the machines do their thing.....Boring.
So starting next week I'll be much less pleasant, I don't do mornings very well. Also I get to go back to the daily stress of being the only IT in the place, which isn't that much different from the last few months since my semi-replacement wasn't worth a shit. (Sorry roomie, but face it, you couldn't do shit without calling me and I had to come in anyway to help you fix whatever so...) But at least I'll be back on a regular schedule instead of whenever I wanted to come in, or had to come in.
The other thing is my buddy told me today she's quitting, so besides missing her, I'll have to worry about my own lunch, somebody will have to take over the office football pools, and I won't have anyone to smoke with. Shit.

Band

So, my mother called the other night. This is not an odd occurrance, but she called for a specific reason (other than to bitch at me). She purchased the weekly paper from Armpit, AL that said there would be a reunion of band members from 19-- to 19-- and did I want to attend. Yes, I was a band geek, shuttup. Trombone, the only girl, yeah, I know.
I thought about it for a second. That brought back so many memories of my geekiness that I couldn't quite process it all. I was such a shy kid it wasn't funny. Band was my life, MY LIFE. I was such a loser. I don't mean to demean other people who were in band, but, I was so obsessed with playing well, marching well, it was sad.
I had a couple of friends in high school, I read, I didn't need to talk to anyone, I didn't need friends, but music.............I couldn't live without that. I still can't.
I pretty much told Mom, oh hell no, but I may just go to see what happened to the cool people. Kinda like high school reunions, which I've never been to, I didn't like those people either, but the band kids, yeah, I can kinda relate.

Hello Kids

Hi all, (1 of you)
Sorry I've been busy. Girlfriend only shows up on weekends so I've been catching up on drinking and hanging out with her. I also got a bonus, she was here today so we went to see my new nephew who is so totally like me. He likes boobs and burping, he's awesome. I will be teaching him as many bad habits as my sister will tolerate ,and probably a few I'll have to explain...........Anyway.
I seem to be able to do this drunk not too badly, even tho it affects my grammar. Sober, I suck.
So the scary thing of the day. Girlfriend wanted to sleep on the way home from road trip, I knew this, I also knew there was a DQ on the way.........I made the comment that she was fighting sleep till she got her icecream, we decided we've been together too long.

Ok, now we're having a conversation about vibrators and car batteries, things are back to normal :)~

On a more serious note....

I have hiccups, you can all suffer bitches

YAY, I've managed to fuck this up beyond all belief, I RULE!!!!!

I'll be back tomorrow with a more kid friendly, or at least reader friendly version, that is all.


Explanation: I managed to screw up my template so badly it was completely unrecognizable, as you can see, I was quite excited about this development.

Something of substance

Ok, I left work early to have drinks with friends. Hopefully you'll notice there is a constant here, beer, work, beer, good time. Anyway. A long drawn out tale for your partaking.

Roomie and I have friends, imagine that, and she tried to get a flag from the Senate for the retirement of one or our friends in April. (And his wife knew this was going on, it's about to be relevent.) You can see our government at work here. Of course it didn't show up in time for the retirement party, or his death in July, it showed up today. So, she meets his widow for drinks to give her the "I got this for his retirement" gift which is now an "Oh shit, I need a drink gift" so I needed to leave work early not only because I wanted to and could, but because I didn't want her to be there all alone.

Backstory to all this, just to delay everything and kinda bring you up to speed is........we've known this couple for a few years, great people, he's kinda reserved, she's very sociable. Since his retirement he became much more outgoing, you know how that goes. We had a cookout at their house the weekend before he died. Since then, we, and her other friends have beeen trying to keep her busy at least a bit. Tonight was the first time since the memorial that I've seen her cry, and I don't mean that in a bad way, I know she cries, but OMG, I almost cried, I loved the guy, but I have a reputation as being a hardass, I can't cry in a bar unless I'm shitfaced. It's ok if you're drunk and can pretend you don't remember.

Ok, on to the rest of the story, we got over all that, had some good times........I got home and roomie mentioned that she didn't know widow was a grandma. I knew she was so we talked about her son (dad was stepdad). Roomie said, "You know, he used to work for us" meaning the company we work for.......And. It. Clicked. When I saw his last name in the obituary, I knew I knew the name, but hey, it's 20 years ago, couldn't be. Surely he would recognize us, we haven't changed THAT much. He was the 18 yr old hottie back then, and my 21 or so trying to be straight or at least act straight ass was in love with him, and I wasn't the only one. Since roomie and I were lovers back then, I reminded her of a time we ran into him out and about and she got pissed, THEN she remembered him. Don't know if he just doesn't want Mom to know, or if he doesn't remember those days, I'm voting on the latter.

It's a very small world.

I'm an Idiot

Ok, here I am. All wanting to share with you all, but....by the time I get home from work, have a couple of beers, and want to write, I'm blank. And pissed off that I can't figure out how to do anything here other than post, which might have something to do with the beers. Maybe I'll try this again later when I'm in a better {hic} frame of mind.

A Drunken Start

Hello World
Here I am, finally, amazing you with my wit, once I have a nap I mean.
I've been reading blogs for months now, feeling the pain and happiness of the people I don't know, so I decided I might want to try this out. If I can make you as a reader feel anything, then I'm better at this shit than I ever thought I'd be. Hopefully I can entertain you, (as I hope someone stops by to read this shit). If not, then at least I'll post a few links to people who WILL entertain you.