What she said vs What I heard

Lucy: Guess what you missed today?
Me:What?
Lucy: My Clit.
Me: Unprintable comment about said appendage.
Lucy: What????
Me: You said your clit.
Lucy: No, I said MCCLINTOCK.
Me: Oh. Nevermind then.

So.........

I didn't go to work till way late because I wasn't sure I wanted to see her. She was there so she made me cry and I hung around for a bit for what the hell ever. Annie left before I showed up so she'd already been through that shit.
I grocery shopped, there will be blackeyed peas in the Wolf house tomorrow dammit.
Annie and I met Ms. Sweet at our alternate dive since the band was set up at 4 to play at 9 at our regular dive. Idiots.
Lucy caught up with us at the other place, we were all spanked, frisked and carded so we left and I was home at 8pm on New Year's Eve. Yay me.
I've boxed, Lucy is doing whatthefuckever and Annie is in her room doing Idontwannaknow so.... I'm bored.
Happy New Year kids.

Work shit sucks

Tomorrow (not a real workday in our world, but have to show up anyway day) is the last day for Work Mom. She's Annie's friend and confidante there and the only person that still scares the hell outta me.
I think it's gonna be a boohoo kinda day and I FUCKING hate those.
I think I'll meet the girls early to do a little drinking and bring my ass home where I belong.
Night kids.

New Toy is a HIt

Lucy and I had a blast bowling over the weekend, Annie has latched onto that. I kicked her ass earlier.
I tried out Boxing at 1am, I'm glad Annie didn't wander thru to see me in sports bra and jeans beating the shit out of an imaginary person on the tv. I am sore from doing it tho, so not a bad thing.

Update: It's now 12:37, Boxing is bad for me, I won't be able to move tomorrow, but damn it saves money on therapy.

Not my usual

I went to The Dive to read this afternoon as I usually do on Sundays lately, it kinda bums me out when Lucy leaves. Everyone piled up on me which isn't an every week thing. They were talking about dinner, some were going out for steak, the rest were talking House of Boobs...they invited, I accepted. I usually say no thanks, but what the hell, I've been wanting some wings anyway. So The Widow, Boytoy and Mr. and Mrs. Asshole and I had dinner together. It was actaully an enjoyable evening. I'll do that again just for the hell of it.
In other news, Annie got a Wii, she's not big on games so I'm breaking it in for her. She also brought home a couple of bags of books so I think I'll be busy for a bit.
Gotta take my ass back to work tomorrow so bed is coming up soon.
Night kids.

It was a hit

Mom loved her gift. I didn't tell her she had a real one in the works, Lucy did that today by accident. OOPS.

The Plague jumped all over me again and fucked me up. Besides that, I've just been drunk, drunk, drunk. Thank somebody the holidays are over and Oh Hell Yeah.

a three hour tour

I rode up to Lucy's house to get meds.
OMG She lives in the boonies.
I'm taking her to bed.
Night kids.

I stayed home

Babysis hung up on me after a bit of talk about stepdad in hospital.
We'll get over it.
Mom and I talked about pretty much everyhing.
We'll get over it.
I'm going to sleep.

An early start

We had our celebration (if you want to call it that) at Dad's tonight. I found out yesterday the New Woman was going to be there. The Grandson found out today and called me as I was getting ready to leave home. I haven't seen the woman in well over 30 years and GSon has never met her, and it's X-mess and... We both had a few issues with the whole thing but soldiered on because well, what the hell were we supposed to do? It was weird. Somewhere down the line I'll have to tell Dad he fucked up majorly with his timing, but not right now.
Thankfully Lucy went with me, she drove so I drank there and back, we were all well behaved and all that. The Grandson's wife called when I was almost home, we all chatted a bit about the evening, and I dunno. I'll settle for saying it was weird and see where things go from here.
I get to go to Mom's tomorrow. We haven't spoken since the "not telling me about StepDad in hospital" chat, it should be fun.
I'm going to read a bit to clear my head and take my ass to sleep since I have to go to work in the morning. Night kids.

The Pinnacle of Pissiness

I've been a tad grouchy lately. Ok, I've been a raving Bitch but I've shown great restraint by not telling everyone to shut the fuck up and leave me alone. I think I hit the wall.
I just bit my own head off for talking to me.

Annie is killing me

We went to a new place to catch up with old bartenders, one we haven't seen in forever, the other needs to cook dinner soon dammit.
It was a good time, all you can eat prime rib for a decent price, unfortunately I wasn't hungry but Annie took advantage. I drank a few beers, she had a couple of margaritas with dinner and we came home.
Apparently tequila makes her crazier than usual, she's running around like a chicken with it's head cut off babbling at me everytime she passes through the livingroom. If it wasn't so late I'd take my ass out, but I need to work tomorrow and then go to Dad's for dinner.
I'll see if going to my room helps, night kids.

Lucy made me watch Mama Mia

It was awful, but I laughed harder than I have in a long time. She gives me shit about Mars Attacks! but make me watch this shit. And she doesn't like Rocky Horror, I may have to dump her.

Southern vs Jewish Mothers

Lucy and I can't find a difference.

Nothing you do is ever good enough.
You had so much potential.....but pissed it away on whatever.
Whomever you're hanging out with is never gonna be good enough for you.
You never call or visit enough, and it's the fault of those you hang out with.
If you do visit and call, it's STILL not enough, it's like you never did.
You'll be dogged to the neighborhood for all of the above every time your name comes up.
You can't win.
Still gotta love 'em, but Dammit.

Fucking Rain

It's been raining for a week. My newspaper told me this morning we finally got over our 3 yr drought. Well duh. I need some sun dammit.
Taking my sick ass to bed mumbling about rain and shit on the way.
Night kids.

I loved this

I'm drunk and disturbed

Not like it's the first or last time, I have a mark from the Saturday baking cookies episode.
I got drunk on a lot of someone else tonight which makes it unique.
I got a shot of B&B, to help with The Plague.
Annie bought all that.
I met a guy and kicked his ass at darts, he paid for my next round.
I bought dinner so that makes me ok with Annie..........fuck the other guy.
I also heard whisperings, ok mumblings, hell full on conversations that I didn't want to hear so, I think I'm good to go.
My Mother called my Dad this morning and asked him all the shit I wanted to.
Dad lies....
Mom lied to him so i guess it's even.
I'm not happy about the fact that Dad has found someone while he and I were finally forging a relationship. He says he still wants that, but we'll see. He seems to be all about New Woman at the moment.
Yes, I'm bitter that she's taken over. I miss my weekends with him.
I'll get over it.
Between work and home, lots of people I care about are getting fucked over. Work Mom (Who looks a lot like my real Mom and has cleaned my plow more than once about my knees and my weight, and everything else a mother could bitch at you about)is getting retired (not exactly her choice and I'm not supposed to know that.)
I also feel bad that talking to Mother depresses me so. That's why I haven't talked to her, but when I do........
I can't win.
I have a trailer in the woods, I think I'll just move up there.

It's a Country Song in the making

I called my Mom for 1 reason, and found 15 reasons not to.
It'll be a hit, I just need a songwriter dammit.

Lucy is going to bludgeon the entire family for me over (thatupcomingholiday) except Spawn, I think we can still save him.

Besides me being crazy, the rest of my world has been also. The Grandson called me yesterday. He never calls me. I love him, but he never calls me.
Besides Dad's recent trip with New Woman, he's been a bit concerned. Hearing local gossip about New Woman didn't help things. I'm out of that loop so........I called Mom and got....

Stepdad has been in the hospital, nobody called me. (Mom and Babysis both get bludgeoned for this one.)

She told me after I made her cry at Thanksgiving that she'd never call me again (Get THE FUCK Over it).

I'm developing the Bubonic Plague in my lungs.
Happy Fucking Holidays.

I'm just smiling, and coughing, cuz there ain't a damn thing I can do about any of it.
I need more beer, and reindeer.
Later kids.

Chex Mix

Annie visited her Mom.
Me: "NOM, NOM, NOM."
The Voice in my head: "Dude, chex mix? Really? You got issues."
Me: "NOM,NOM, NOM.
TV: "Really, you gotta do something about shit."
Me: "Fuck You."
TV: "How about?..."
Me: "Chex Mix Motherfucker, leave me alone."

Annie's Mom makes the best.
Night kids.

Might as well...

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a Self-Improving Fun Loving Believer

I Write Great Posts While I'm Out Smoking

then I come back in.........
I know I'm cycling through some serious depression right now. I'm smart enough to realize that, but dumb enough to let it overtake me at times. Sometimes it's good to give in.
Yesterday I was driving around, wanting to avoid home because I just wasn't in the mood, The Princess was at Friday's. I met him there and we proceeded to The Dive, it was good. We talked about what's up with me, my aversion to drugs since the side effects are worse than me being crazy and I beat everyone's ass at darts and got shitfaced.
Lucy and Annie rescued me, I came home and baked cookies.
The original post was much more profound, but I was on the porch smoking a cigarette and things in my head are much clearer then.
I'm not fine, but I will be ok. I think that's the best any of us can say on a bad day. I have a book to finish and a day off work tomorrow. Maybe I'll finish my laundry and enjoy a day to myself for a change. Night kids.

Who Knew?

Apparently going off to the bar to read for a bit turns me into the Whore Of Babylon. I'm shocked at myself. I told Annie I'd be home in a couple of hours to feed the dogs and well, time got away from me so I'm getting a phone call at 8:00 "Where are you and who are you with?" From Annie, WTF?
I go to The Dive on Sunday afternoons to read because I really can't do it here. The constant "thump, thump, thump" of Annie wandering thru the house and whatever question or comment I have to pay attention to takes away from my escape. At The Dive I can sit at my table in the back and pretty much be left alone, I tune out the game, or whatever else might be going on and I'm off. I like that.
I came home after the call even tho she'd gotten up from her deathbed (hurt back,that didn't stop her from "thump, thump, thumping" thru the house) to feed the dogs way before she called to see who I was whoring around with.
I should have told her The Hot Bartender was working, but I don't think her back could have handled it.

Thanks for the comments

I should explain a bit. I'm taking a break, I may be back tomorrow, or next week, or I dunno. I've been dealing with shit quite soberly for the last few weeks and last night I decided to get severely unsober. My sense of humor has taken a beating along with any sense I had period so I'm not real fond of myself right now, I see no reason to inflict me on anyone else.
I'll catch back up when things settle down. Ya'll take care and thanks again.

I broke my mind

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. So have I. Lucy said I should say something, but I have nothing. So I'm going away.
Later kids.

Out of the mouths of babes

Sunday when we got to Mom's house for dinner she had Spawn naming everyone in the nativity scene she has out. He did great. When he got to Baby J he picked him up and said "Look, he's butt naked." I'm so proud.

The Princess has left the building

Annie and a couple of other friends finally got The Princess out of his condo this past weekend. We had planned a day a couple of weeks ago where Lucy and I could also be there, but he wasn't ready so.... Sunday turned into bag and drag just to get his shit moved. I'm kinda glad I missed out on that part.
Annie and I went over today to help him find shit (like clothes and shoes) and start putting stuff where it belonged. I'm a tired puppy. A large dent was made, but there's still a long way to go. He's much closer to work and much further away from town so our hanging out at The Dive days will be few and far between now, which isn't such a bad thing. Looks like we'll be back over there Saturday since I need to hook up his computer and there's still a lot of shit sitting in the garage waiting to be put away. Sounds like fun.
I'm waiting for Lucy to call and taking my ass to bed. Night kids.

Brainfall.com Quiz Result

Which Peanuts Character Are You?
	You are Sally Brown. You may not be the most ambitious person, but life isn't supposed to be hard! You are relaxed and easy-going, but you can hold your ground when you want, too.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Stories

So.....Stepdad bought a new horse (not a good idea from the get-go). New horse wasn't getting along with the goats (nasty fuckers, but still). Horse had already killed one, was beating up another and according to Mom, Stepdad needed help penning the bastard up. Fine. Lucy and I head off to Armpit. I told Mom why I thought the horse was a bad idea and she cried and went home (She was babysitting Spawn at Babysis' house).
Stepdad didn't need help after all so I just drove an hour for whatever reason so I wasn't in the best of moods. I know that doesn't excuse it, but really? Horse was a bad idea for lots of reasons.
Lucy went to Mom's to talk so Spawn and I hung out, had a good time, he was great. By the time Lucy showed back up to watch Spawn, Stepdad had almost finished the pen for the hell-raiser so he didn't need my help.
Spawn picked out what dvd's he wanted to watch, put them in, we watched stuff with him until his mommy came home. Then he turned into Rosemary's Baby.
He's never had a problem with going to sleep, but he threw a Babysis sized fit about going to sleep that night. At 10:30 I went to the kitchen and opened a book and a beer so I could keep my mouth shut.
Sunday Mom was getting her dressing ready and sat it on the stove to add onions when she realized she had the wrong eye turned on and the pan was sitting on it. When she moved it, it exploded. Stepdad got a couple of cuts on his foot while walking by, Mom was lucky nothing hit her since she was standing in front of it at the time. The only casualty was a chocolate pie which was properly mourned, thankfully she had another that wasn't in the middle of the fallout.
So......after all the drama, everything settled down except Spawn. Mom and I made up, dinner was excellent and I eventually got home again.
Yep, much ado about nothing.
Later kids.

Too Much Drama

My mom called at 7am yesterday, shit was happening, I needed to be there. Turns out I didn't really need to be, I made Mom cry.
Today was dinner, she assploded her favorite pyrex dish all over the house, nothing I could do about that either.
Annie has been telling us about moving The Princess, glad I wasn't there, I might have killed someone.
PMS is killing me, I can't stand myself right now and Spawn has pretty much finished me off. I'll get around to the stories involved, right now I need to sleep because there hasn't been much of that.

A Very Destructive 2 Hours

I went to work. I told Annie I'd close the books for her so she didn't have to come back to town. Heh.
I went through 4 ribbons before finally killing the printer. I gave up then. Fuck that. Her shit will print whenever I guess.
I did get my office mopped, that was the only constructive thing I did. The cart with the bucket on it has a tether, so I opened the garage door closest to me to dump the water. That didn't go real well either, my right shoe got some. Of course I tried to close the door and the chain got away from me so......Door 1 Me 0.
Door got the worst of it at the end. Chain is off the track so it will need to be looked at early Monday. I don't work Monday's at the moment.
Needless to say I came home in a very pissy mood. Poor Lucy had to put up with me.
I made her watch more Dead Like Me.
She's gone to the store, I'm going to bed.
Night kids.

Mom's xmess present

She's been all about thinking she's getting a necklace like mine, even going so far as to ask me while she was in the hospital when she was getting one. She expects it for X-mess. (Lucy gave me a gold heart with a pic of me and Spawn on it, Mom is jealous).
She's getting shoebox with this in it

I made the chain myself.

Happy Thanksgiving

and Bah Humbug just so we have that out of the way.
I had brunch with Dad and the kids today, it was nice. I came home late afternoon a bit bummed still, because I'm a drama queen like that, went to The Dive and someone I haven't talked to in awhile came in so.....it worked.
We caught up. We run into each other occasionally, sometimes throw some darts, usually just say hi and go on. We actually talked tonight for the first time in a long time, I think it was good for both of us.
I'm now safely tucked away at home, waiting for Lucy to show up.
Hope everyone had a good day.

What a bummer

I wanted to say I was funny when I started this blog. I wasn't. I checked.
I've always written what was in my life or my heart when I wasn't being stupid and throwing something out there just because.
I didn't realize I've lost 3, (three, count them) women who I loved and influenced my life until I re-read part of this drivel.
September 06 My Grandmother.
July 07 Other Mom (aka friend)
August 08 Stepmom

I'm sorry I'm a bit down and occasionally angry because this shit ain't right.
Mamaw was 91, ok, her time was done.
Other Mom was 56, fuck that shit.
Stepmom was 66.
I learned things from all of them that I'll carry until I die, but dammit, it sucks.

To quote myself "I wanted to say I was funny when I started this blog."
I am funny, my sense of humor is firmly intact. I just hate that it's taken a vacation from blogland, it was rampant at the hospital with Mom yesterday. She showed hers too (along with her ass).
I'm leaving to see Dad early in the morning because I was supposed to be there tonight but couldn't. I'd rather cry at home.
Later kids.

Good News

Mom's heart is fine, they got her in early this morning so she got to go home today, double plus. Thanks for the kind words and prayers, she told me to be sure to pray for her before she went back for the procedure this morning, I'm glad someone was doing it for me.
I'm sure there will be more tests to figure out what the hell happened, but that's a big load off everyone's mind so.......forward we go.
I'm beat, finally ate since my cheese toast from this morning wore off long ago, gonna read the last chapter of my book and take my ass to bed.
Night kids.

I have no title

I got to work, my server was crashed and a key pc had issues that kept our software people from looking at the server to see what was up and that was just the first 20 minutes. Annie had to deal with all that because....
That was when Babysis called to tell me Mom was at the Emergency Room in Armpit. She's been sick for a couple of weeks with flu, crud, something, but was getting better. She headed to work this morning and suddenly developed all the symptoms of a heart attack. She was ok, Babysis was on her way there, said she'd call to let me know what was up instead of me running off willy nilly to get there.
Long story short, they transferred her to a hospital here in my town and she's having an arteriogram tomorrow because all the tests today came back ok but they want to make sure.
All well and good except no one can tell us what time for sure.
I'm going to sleep for a few hours and take my ass back to the hospital just in case they drag her off early in the morning.
Hope everyone else had a better day.
Later kids.

Cheap Entertainment

Annie has an employee who is a licensed beautician. She got hair color to fix Annie up but they couldn't work out their schedules so she sent the stuff home with her.
Lucy did Annie's hair today.
Neither of them had a clue what they were doing so it was hilarious for me. Things didn't look right from the get-go, then it turned purple, after it got on Annie's head it was Bozo orange, this went on for what seemed like forever. (Annie's frantic calls to the employee asking if this shit was normal were unanswered.)
Finally, it's done. Lucy rinsed her out and when Annie took the towel off her head I looked at her and screamed, she nearly shit herself running for a mirror.
It looks great, I just couldn't help fucking with her. I now have 2 redheads to deal with, damn.
I told Lucy she'll just have to love me gray, I'm not putting any chemicals on my head, I only have 1 functioning brain cell as it is.

Lucy Groped Me

I was making her watch a marathon of Dead Like Me and she suddenly hugged me with improper intent. Then she kept cupping my breast while I was sitting on the floor next to the couch, I swatted her off.......Now she knows how the boys she spurned during her teens felt. Pervert.

I'm going to bed to sleep. I'll tell you about her alien brain later.

I was looking for something to blog about

Lucy took care of me as usual. She's sitting across the table from me, our laptops between us, but I noticed suspicious activity on her side. I had to stick the phone over the monitors to see what was up...

I think I'll be heading to bed soon, I'm a tired puppy.
Night kids.

Betty and I will be having a chat about her anger issues

She ate the duck's ass. Bad girl.
You always go for the head first dumbass.

Got caught looking

I was at The Dive with Annie, waiting for The Princess as usual when....
There was a couple at the closest table, professionals, nice looking, lady had on some heels and wearing a long pink coat, I got over that part, she was cute.
She took off the coat and was sitting there talking to the guy when I glanced over and saw her granny panties. I was going to take a picture but while I was figuring out how to get the cel phone set up for it, she realized the little white blouse and lowriders were exposing her not so pretty side and put the coat back on. Dammit.

I'm cold

Apparently I'm colder than most people, of course some of these people are menopausal and having flashes so of course I'm colder than they are. One of those people (Annie) just gave me a silk undershirt to help keep me warm. Thoughtful, but self-serving, she's worried about the heating bill, not me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound cold........

I've been sidetracked

Lots of shit has gone on so I'm a bit slow with the second part of our weekend. Dad was talking to SoandSo (and I really need to find her a new name) when he suddenly handed the phone to me.........She acted like we talked yesterday instead of 30something years ago so it was cool. She gave me shit about not going out on the boat because it was cold, her daughter was coming over and we'd have to get together soon and.....I finished up and gave the phone back to Dad.
I think it's great he's found someone to talk to and hang out with, and I'm really glad it's someone from the past that he cared about..........I still have that little twinge of "it's too soon." THAT is what he expected me to fuss at him about.
If it wasn't her, I may have, I dunno. I hope I would be ok with anyone because he seemed happier than he's been in months, but I still twinge.
I'll get over it.
Lucy and I went on to see Babysis and Spawn, always good therapy.
Spawn was busy with Babysis's BFF's daughter, they were playing so he couldn't be botherd, so the adults hung out and chatted. I informed Babysis and her BFF that they weren't as much fun as kids as these 2 were. Of course it could be because I was 10 and in charge of the little shits all the time so I was a bit grouchy about it.
I'm taking my ass to bed so maybe I won't be grouchy at work.

Our Lists

Lucy and I made our TO DO lists while watching Calendar Girls the other night. I think I need to start looking younger because hell, everyone I want to do either looks like a grandmother (thanks Brooklyn) or is dead. Lucy has a better handle than I do......
Lucy's list
Queen Latifah (Ok, we'd fight over that one.)
Whoopie (She can have that one, love her, but hell no.)
Diane Keaton (Ok, she's getting in my age range.)
Katherine Hepburn (Dead and on both lists)
Barbara Stanwyk (see Hepburn)
Mine
Judi Dench (Shutup Brooklyn)
Helen Mirren
Susan Sarandon
Goldie Hawn
Bette Midler

Text from earlier tonight
Me: Wanda Sykes just came out.
Lucy: She's on my list.
Me: Bitch.
Lucy: Gotta be quick.
Quick or dead, I still lose.
I guess I'm lucky to have my very own redhead who loves me.

An Interesting Weekend

Lucy and I seriously lounged around yesterday before heading out to Dad's house to spend the night. Lucy had e-mailed him about us making some vegetable soup when we got there, he had it on the stove when we showed up, yes he spoils us. I spied a tin marked "S'mores" when I walked in, he was shopping somewhere and saw it, thought of her, and picked it up. Did I tell you my dad is a great guy? He didn't expect the candy to be worth a shit, but it was, bonus.
I noticed Dad seemed a little nervous, a little different, I wasn't sure if it was because we hadn't been there in a few weeks or what, but went on about my business. He got a couple of phone calls, no biggie, I go out to smoke to give him privacy or he goes to another room. 'Mars Attacks' was on so that was background noise while soup was finishing up and we were all hanging out catching up. (Lucy gives me shit about that movie, I love it.) Dad got all serious and told me "Ok, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you so you can fuss at me and get it over with."
Oh shit. Ok.
Dad: "Do you remember SoandSO? Kids Such and Such?"
Me: "Names are familiar...(I'm thinking I do.)"
Dad described her, yes I remembered. They dated way back in the day before he met Stepmom. I thought she was gonna be my stepmom at one point.
Dad: "She heard about your Stepmom Monday and called me."
Me: "Ok."
Dad: "Her birthday was Tuesday so I offered to take her out to dinner" and (long involved explanation, he saw her again Friday night.)
Me: "Ok, and I'm supposed to fuss at you why?"
Dad: "Timing I guess...."
I told him it was cool, I liked her back then, I'm ok with it.
Phone calls off and on, blah blah blah, we talked off and on about things, I reassured him that I felt better if he had someone else in his life because I was worried about him being lonely and such.
The rest of the night was like living with a 16 yr old, I lost track of the number of phone calls, but they were pretty much on the phone all night. He went to bed at 10 something, Lucy was watching tv and I was reading, at midnight I went to the bathroom and heard him talking to someone.........geeeze.
Today he cooked breakfast for us, we went out to look at colors (too cold to get on the boat, but pretty view from the point, he's sending me pics since I forgot my fucking camera again).
I'd told him last night he might want to talk to The Grandson soon because if someone saw Dad out with SoandSo, well small town shit. He agreed, called, they showed up after Lucy and I left this afternoon and that's all good too. I talked to The Grandson on the way home all is well at the moment.
Long enough post for tonight, I'll finish up tomorrow.

Lucy says "Hi"

She and I are going to watch Calendar Girls because we need a laugh and I need her near me at the moment.
She's warm and it's gonna get cold here tonight dammit.
At least babysis and I share that trait, we were both freezing our asses off in Hotlanta last weekend.
I waited for her to finish dinner and.....
Ok, she's cutting coupons and ruining the "watch a movie mood," so maybe not.
My bad, she thought we would watch movie from here, I was thinking couch.
Ok, off to couch, night kids.

Dumbasses, or how I was about to get my ass kicked

I met Annie and The Princess at The Dive after work.
Ok, I'd been there reading and drinking for a bit before they showed up.
There was a table full of youngsters right close to us.
Apparently said youngsters were raised by wolverines because they had the manners of pond scum.
Napoleon was about to be my bitch when The Princess dragged me to the bar and I left to come home because I was too pissed off to be out in public.

I feel like the old lady shaking her cane and yelling "Get off my lawn!"
I like my comfort zone. Damn kids.

Old news that's new to you

My Drinking School funds have been seriously put in jeopardy thanks to the shitty economy and the Idiot who now runs our company.
I have Mondays off until further notice which is a blessing and a curse since I hate Mondays anyway, but, it cuts into the dollars I can spend on important shit like beer and cigarettes.
I shouldn't bitch, I still have a job, it's just not gonna be there for long so.......
I'm gonna have to drop out of Drinking School and actually do something that will make me more employable. Damn.
Motivation is good, change is good, I'm just not a fan of either, but at least this will get me off my increasingly large ass and make me do something other than bitch and moan. I'm sure everyone will appreciate that.

This isn't anywhere near where I meant to go when I sat down here, but oh well. Follow the path you're given I guess. I'm going to call Lucy and take my ass to bed.
Night kids.

Hi, my name is Rain and I have a problem

I seem to have a blog addiction.
I know I read everybody Friday, I threw a post out Saturday.......Sunday and Monday were busy.
Today, it felt like I've been away forever. I was trying to catch up on everything and everyone, and it took awhile. I hate that.
Lucy is here tonight since she has an early Dr. Appt. tomorrow, I just finished the last book in the vampire series.......I should sleep. I'm still beat from all the driving. Have a good night kids and I'll be around to make inappropriate comments tomorrow, my brain was dead today.

Tina recap

We stayed at a decent place on Peachtree thanks to Lucy. We ate dinner here. Excellent all the way around. Went back to the hotel where so sorry, shuttle is not available since we were cutting close on time. No Problem. They called us a cab. He had to drop us off a couple of blocks away, no problem. Holy Shit that place was crowded. My knee was much better after much ice so I could walk and shit, Lucy's I was worried about......she was ok.
Our seats, OMG. I nearly had a panic attack from the slant down, but it still worked.
Tina came on and........her break hasn't hurt her at all, the woman was awesome. Babysis, Lucy, Lucy's Sis, had never seen her in concert before so I loved hearing their thoughts. Besides all that, she sounded as good as 20 yrs ago when I first saw her, the show and dancing were possibly better than when I saw her before her "retirement". If you can, go see her.
Afterwards (duh duh duhhhhhh). We decided to walk a couple of blocks to get a cab because really, it was a mess down there.
Lucy kept walking....sheep followed.....we ended up at Peachtree again. I thought the plan was to call cab to pick us up at such and such, but apparently Lucy was on her own wavelength.
Lucy's sis, Babysis and I all agreed we should walk this way if we were gonna walk home. Fine. Lucy dragged us back because baaaa.
We moved up and down the sidewalk a couple of times while Lucy's Sis and I patrolled the perimeter while Annie watched and listened to the prostitutes in the park across from us. Geeeze.
Yes, we walked back, in the fucking cold because Lucy decided we should. It really wasn't that bad, but hello, 5 women hanging on a street corner, a few times while Lucy chatted on the phone?
We got home, probably faster and definitely cheaper than we would have in a cab but damn......... always gotta have some drama.
A vote was taken this morning deciding I would drive home because apparently the 60 miles Annie drove yesterday shook everyone up so I'm tired.
Everyone is now where they're supposed to be, Spawn thought his Mommy was working instead of out drinking a beer and having a good time so he was a good boy. He was happy to see her today. I'm gonna crash cuz I'm a tired bitch.
Night kids.

Beer cooler is ready

House is clean, my knee is fucked, sisters will be here in the morning. Lucy keeps trying to do the Proud Mary dance. I'm scairt.
Off to Atlanta in the morning to see Tina Turner. Yee fucking ha.
Later kids.

Edited to add: My sister used the word "hesitant". I'm so proud.
She is hesitant about going because Spawn is asking for her when she's away.
She hasn't really been away since he's been born. I think they'll both be ok.
I'm not at all hesitant about telling her she's taking her ass with us because I wouldn't have bought these tickets if it wasn't for her so.... it's a good word to add to her vocabulary.

Back to normal

Ok, regular blogging can continue, I'm over my drama queen moment for at least 3 weeks. Then my hormones will control the universe again.

The guy I mentioned is someone I met at The Dive a few months ago, and we hung out and talked then, just not as long. He grew up not far from where I did but is nothing like the guys I usually meet from around there. No, I'm not jummping the fence, it was nice to have a discussion with someone about a little bit of everything and feeling a bit of camraderie from an unexpected source. We talked about marriage, gay and straight, rights everyone should have, but don't. Deep shit for me because the extent of my conversation is usually "Hey, how ya doing?".

The woman who pissed me off, well, I'll get over it. She did apologize today (I wouldn't talk to her yesterday because I was too pissed off.) I'll get over the hurt but I've lost the respect I had for her. Oh well.

The Princess finally brought me the book I was waiting for so I'm off to read some more since everyone interrupted my bar time tonight.
Later kids.

Yes, I'm drunk

Sometimes I piss me off ya know? Yes, I'm drunk, but I can still write.
I deleted the post from last night about the woman who pissed me off. I shouldn't have, but anyway. Bloggiefever left a comment saying her response was immature, yep, immaturity runs rampant.
BF, I wanted to tell you, whoever you vote for is fine with me, at least you voted.
I respect everyone's opinion and exercising your right is exatly that YOUR right. I don't give a damn.
I was upset my right was called into question because she and I didn't see the same.
I also have a shitload of PMS on my side at the moment so...
I'm a 43 yr old woman right now, my moods are at their peak, don't fuck with me.
I see I'm on my way to incoherency ( I hope that's a word)
I just talked to a very intelligent guy for a couple of hours, I'm shocked that those guys are out there. Sometimes I forget I have a brain and so do they.
I'm off to sleep.
Night kids.

Squirrel patrol

Lucy and I were lounging in bed this morning after a barrage of text messages from The Princess at 7 am. I heard Annie moving around, no biggie, suddenly there was a "POP" from the backyard. Lucy asked me "What was that?" I said "Dumbass shooting at squirrels." Of course we had to get up and go check it out. In our finest garb (plaid sleep pants for Lucy, Big Dog boxers for me) we ventured out to see what the fuck was up.
Annie (also dressed for the occasion in satin candycane boxers) was firing bottle rockets into the pecan tree and cursing at squirrels who ran away long ago.
And I think I'm the crazy one?

Edit: I just went out to smoke with The Handsome Devil. We came back in and I noticed Betty's new roommate, deadsquirrel. Dammit. I made sure Annie retrieved it while I called her and Betty murderers. I'm smoking in the house, fuck them.

Lucy and my demons

Lucy asked me if I felt better after sending the E-mail to Dad. I had to admit I did, it got rid of that elephant. She said I was getting rid of some of my demons by doing that. She may be right, I dunno. I guess I need to name the rest of them so they will go away. I'd like to sleep without dreams.

Fitting?

I came home too early last night, The Princess got goodies. I liberated this one from him, I'll get him a tiara.

I came out to my Dad in an e-mail

Ok, he already knew, we just confronted the elephant in the room because it's something we've never really talked about.
It's on the radar now as something we can talk about, so all good.
He loves Lucy so I think it's ok.
I need to go to fuck the sleep and be done. My life is more awesome than I could ever imagine. I live because I can, people love me because.........I have no fucking idea.
My life is good because I have Lucy, and stuff, and...........yeah, I have no idea either.
I'm taking my ass to bed, thank you.

Reading books

I'd forgotten how much of an escape that was (is), I've always been an avid reader. I think I got away from it for awhile because I was here, reading blogs, other stuff, information at my fingertips. I'm all about googling an address or phone number rather than manually looking it up. Technology has fucked me up it seems.
I'm back into books, I love the feel and texture in my hands, and they offer the same escape they always did. I can be anyone and do anything while I'm reading. Right now I'm a multimillionaire thanks to a rigged lottery.
Annie picked up this book when she needed something to read on a flight somewhere. "The Winner" by David Baldacci. Never read him before, but definitely will again. I'm off to try to finish it before I have to sleep.
Night kids.

The Princess is a homeowner

WOO HOO for him. We met him at his new house with some beers, we're saving the champagne for the weekend. It's a nice house, he'll be happy there.
I took him out for a couple of beers after because he seems to be shell shocked from signing his life away.
Poor guy, now he has to get ready to move. I don't pity him that.
I'm a tired bitch and still pissed it's cold. Apparently we're freezing tonight. Dammit.
Night kids.

What a Monday

Work sucked as usual and Syd wasn't there this morning with my morning Sundrop. At least she's back now.
Annie got over her hurt feelings and we met The Princess at The Dive. He closes on his house tomorrow so he's a bit nervous. He'll be ok.
It's not supposed to be this cold dammit. I freeze most of the time anyway but this is fucking ridiculous, it's supposed to be 32 tonight. It's still OCTOBER dammit!
I'm looking for a sweatshirt to wear to bed since The Handsome Devil doesn't really want to share the couch (fucker). I'm off to find bed clothes, night kids.

About Damn Time

I usually play 3 football sheets a week, 1 at work and 2 at The Dive. I haven't won shit until yesterday. Yay for 150 bucks, it'll come in handy for the upcoming Atlanta trip. I went to The Dive this afternoon to read and found out Annie won 100 there, so Yay for her too.

In other news, The Princess is an inconsiderate Douchebag (oh wait, that sounds like a re-run). Probably is, but this time he's hurt Lucy's feelings, mine, and Annie's. Annie is more upset than the rest of us so I'm gonna have to kill him, or her, depends on who gets on my nerves the fastest I guess. It's not entirely his fault this time, he's being manipulated so.... I guess I'll just watch for awhile.

I'll be off to Armpit next weekend so I have other stuff to worry about. I'm pretty sure Babysis is going to make me pay for this weekend because she wanted us to come stay with her and Spawn but Lucy and I were both pretty well worn out and I needed to work today so.......I didn't call anyone, Lucy and I just chilled out, I have a pic of her bra on the ceiling fan to prove it. HA. I'll pay for that one later too.
I should go to bed so I can be bright eyed and bushytailed for work tomorrow, but I don't see it happening. The Handsome Devil and I are gonna go smoke.
Night kids.

It's a good time

Lucy and I have had a lazy day. I got out to get my hairs cut since I was starting to look like this only not as pretty.
I'm now listening to Lucy help Annie with her dating profile on Match.com. I think I'll have to go smoke again so I won't laugh my ass off yet again.
Ok, I've smoked and now I'm laughing my ass off still. I'd leave but damn, this is entertaining. I'll have to go read some more so I can block them out, Annie is already younger and more something than the woman I see sitting here :) Leave it to Lucy to fix her up.

Friday with everyone

We threw darts at the Alternate Dive tonight. Lucy and I came home. The Princess sent me a text that I have a pretty. I'm not sure what it is, but ok.
Lucy is jealous she doesn't have one so score!

Holy Shit

I'm home alone on a school night.
Annie went to visit her parents and decided to stay tonight so The Handsome Devil and I have the house to ourselves. We've done exciting things like throwing a roast in the crockpot, laundry and ironing. We sure know how to party let me tell ya.
It's too cold to run thru the house nekkid so I guess I'll read a bit and take my ass to bed.
Night kids.

Don't poke the elephant

I haven't talked about the weekend with Dad because it upset me. There's no fun in that. Of course, re-reading my shit here, I haven't been much fun in awhile so I don't know why I care. I guess I can talk about bowel movements (or lack of), periods, and assorted other bullshit but sometimes I have a hard time talking about feelings. (Liar)
Ok, I talk about feelings a bit too, especially when I'm pissed off, occasionally when I'm sad, but damn, I'm tired of my ass already.
Lucy and I had a great time with Dad Saturday, we just hung out, he was strangely ok with that. He wanted to go to GGdaughter's ballgame, we needed to babysit Spawn for a bit, it all worked out......we got home and had fire, hotdogs, marshmallows, he ate more than usual and we hung around the firepit until about 11pm, that's way past his bedtime.
Sunday.......he didn't want us to go, he didn't say it, but it was there. I hoped I imagined it, but Lucy said something and DAMN.
We went to Mom's to see her and Stepdad off to the funeral for his brother so it was just an awesome day all around.
See why I don't share sometimes?
Annie and The Princess apparently spent all of Sunday getting drunk so we rescued Annie and my dumb ass went back out to hang with The Princess. (Mistake)
He asked me why Lucy was so unhappy, she used to "light up a room" when she walked in. She doesn't anymore. Apparently hanging out with me will do that to you Honey.

The wolf house is just a big pit of misery right now, everyone is talking about death and I just really can't deal with anymore of that at the moment thank you very much. I'm going to sleep for a few days.
Night kids.

All bases covered, mostly

I worked late, caught The Princess at The Dive to get my next fix (book), got home, had outside fire courtesy of Annie (she was burning a bunch of shit in her fireplace and couldn't figure out how to stir). I called Dad while I made sure her shit got burnt, called Mom after just to check in....that lasted a while, Lucy called when I was going back out to start it up again just because and now I'm here. I'm not sure if it's been a productive evening or a wasted one. At this point in time, it doesn't really matter, I'm a tired puppy.
I think I've over-committed for the weekend because Babysis wants us to come hang with her Saturday night, we shall see. Right now I just want to stay home in bed since it's supposed to be cold and rainy (so I hear).

Flu Shots again

I should really learn from past mistakes. The Flu shot and I are not compatible. I won't be taking her out to dinner in the foreseeable future for sure.
Not long after our meeting I asked Annie if her shot itched "Nope, take some Benadryl." I can't, I'd be drooling on the carpet 5 minutes later. I dealt. I went to The Dive after work to meet The Princess who was a no-show and my arm was killing me way past the elbow by then. I came home.
I showed it to Annie who prescribed ice immediately, it has helped, my arm is no longer rotting off, if I have the sweats again tonight there will be no further relations with the shot. Virus induced disease is easy enough to come by, I don't have to pay for it.

By request

Brooklyn asked awhile ago for some pics from Dad's.
This is where I like to hang out

because this is my view.


Also, Maeve asked for more Spawn so...

I have pictures

Unfortunately I forgot to take the camera to work this morning. I brought the cable home to upload them here, and that's fucked up so I got all pissed off after a couple of hours of that bullshit.
SO......you get a Seinfeld post. It's all about nothing. Sorry. Hopefully noone is going to jail when it's all over.

I didn't know sour gummy worms had so much sodium, my face is lit up like a christmas tree because I ate about 12 of them, damn candy anyway.

There's a reason I do most of the grocery shopping around here. Annie went krogering this afternoon. We have a shitload of cheese, chocolate and wine with no party planned. I usually stock up on cheese and beer.

Torturing Lucy

Yes, I have been. I hit my knee and started singing a song I must have heard from a cartoon.
It's very sing-song but I can't remember where I know it from, I'm driving her crazy with repeating it, it's driving me crazy I can't remember where I heard it.
I've made up so many lyrics now I can't even imagine what it was originally.

The Dive was officially re-opened at 6:30 this evening, I told the owner "Hello Honey, We're Home".
I won some dart games and came home where I need to go to sleep. We're off to babysit Dad and Spawn tomorrow.
Night Kids.

So I walk into a bar....

Annie and I went to The Alternate Dive to meet The Princess tonight to throw darts. All well and good. Saw some regular Dive regulars in the bar and headed to the back room to get our game on. Suddenly there is this guy blocking my way, I'm a bit upset at his rudeness till he calls my name, I look up and it's someone I know from way back. After the initial How are ya's, I let him know Annie walked right by him so he goes after her. Whew. I can't go anywhere.
Let's just say it was a strange evening with him. He hasn't grown up, just got older.
The owner of The Dive was there also, with some of his cronies. He said The Dive may be open tomorrow, with an "Under Construction" sign up, we'll see.
I had bar, beer and company, threw some darts and got to smoke, I'm good.
Lucy should be calling soon so I can tell her about the 3 calls I got from Mother today that were totally unrelated to anything, then I can take my ass to bed.
Ya'll have a good one.

Blog Block

I've written about 10 things and they all sucked. I should just give up right?
Oh hell no! I forge on because someone has to, and you'd die without knowing what infinitesimal things happened to me today so suck it up dammit.
I apparently dreamed I was a trapeze artist and tried to swing from the ceiling fan in my sleep last night. My bum knee has been killing me today in a different spot than normal. I just hope I had a good time.
I'm still the Trivia Queen, I beat up on the boys at Friday's tonight since The Dive is still broken and I had to meet The Princess there.
I caught the end of Bringing Up Baby when I got home, great movie, I love Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant. Watched most of The Mad Miss Manton before Lucy called. Barbara Stanwyk and Henry Fonda, I need to see all of that one too, great one-liners.
I love some old movies.
I'm now taking my ass to bed and strapping myself down.
Night Kids.

Well this sucks salty balls

The Dive has been closed. Done, Condemned, shutthefuckup.
I had to go to Friday's after hearing that, and other than the welcome back, not the same.
The official word is the upper story is condemned, but The Dive is just not allowed to operate so.........we'll see.

I was just mad I was gonna finish my book, I had to do that at home. Dammit.

Everybody loves Lucy

Dad sent me an e-mail yesterday inquiring about exactly when Lucy's b-day was and informed me he'd bought her a present.
Last weekend she asked him to leave the logs in the slue so we could have a bonfire when we came back. Her idea was a day out on the boat and a big fire with smores later.
He got an outdoor fireplace. She talked to him today (because I told him I'd let her call him, he hates the phone too) and he's already got hot dogs and smores ingredients for this weekend.
Lucy and I were talking tonight about that. Dad seems to be enjoying having us (me) around. I was thinking of it as trying to make up lost time, as in time I should have been around but wasn't, but Lucy pointed out it was more like we were getting to know each other. He follows me outside to smoke when we're there (even though he quit last year), and we talk.....about more than the weather. I call him at least once a week and we talk.
I hate that it took Stepmom dying to make this happen, but at least it's happening.
It's pretty cool.

See what happens when I'm bored?

Lucy kept me up too late.

I've got to quit smoking

Dinner was excellent, just so you know.
I was out front smoking after and heard something that sounded like a roman candle going off, I'm all WTF? Then I saw a guy throwing something thru the window of the disabled SUV sitting down the street. Fuck.
One guy was in the street in front of the house on his phone while I watched the 3 others break out the window and take whatever out of the vehicle. Yes, I called the po-po, I was on the phone with them when the guys headed down the street with their loot.
I think I'll smoke out back from now on. I don't particularly like talking to policemen when I've had a few beers.

Shhhh, it's a secret

Ok, it's supposed to be but.....Lucy is another year older today. The steaks are marinating, got all the goodies to go with them, picked up some flowers for her while I was out and now we're both vegetating. So far so good.

Look! It's a shiny new post

With no substance, kinda like a politician.
I got nothing worth posting.
Annie and I went to see The Princess' house after work, I like it. Then we met Ms. Sweet at the alternate Dive since The Dive had a band, we threw some darts and had fun.
Lucy called The House of Boobage and ordered some wings to bring home, hers were fried chicken, mine were moderately hot. I smeared sauce on my face and kissed her right before she called and woke up my mother to whine about me being mean to her.
She's so in trouble.
(She says they would light my cigarette, but no, they weren't that hot.)
I'm trying to convince her to go to bed so I can read.
Night kids.

Okey Dokey Thursday

I'm getting my days back, yay.
The Princess has been kicking my ass at darts lately. I fixed his little pink wagon tonight. I had some dumbass luck and kicked his ass 4 games, YAY ME.
We were celebrating his possible home ownership, closing isn't done, but so far so good. I think he'll be ok.
The funk fog seems to have cleared, at least for now, so I'm good.
Thanks to everyone in Blobland who mentioned "Twilight", The Princess was looking for new reading material a few weeks ago, I told him I'd heard good things about the series, he got them, I'm on the first, he's finishing the second. We're both pretty well hooked.
I'm waiting for Lucy to call so I can read some more, or go to bed, decisions, decisions.
Night kids.

It's Wednesday right?

I've been worried about Mom and her memory lately.....mine is just as bad.
I can't even remember where I was going with this, shit.
I'll give you my morning instead. I got up 10 minutes earlier than usual since it was storming like hell and Annie asked me to take Handsome out before I left so he could stay in the house.
Ok, no problem. I got half dressed, took him out and held his paw while he peed in the rain, threw him off my couch when he came back in because he's a bitch like that.
The Jeep and I swam to work where I figured out I forgot deodorant in the mess that was my morning. Dammit.
The rest of the day wasn't much better.

Strange weekend

Lucy and I got to Dad's Saturday (later than we meant to, but what's new?) where we washed curtains and cleaned windows. At least it was a productive day. He'd already gathered up Stepmom's clothes, which I told him I'd help him with, but he's as stubborn as I am so. That's done, he got rid of some in the big yard sale thing going on down that way, the rest he's taking to a consignment shop since she had a lot of nice stuff she never wore. We took ribs, cooked some cornbread, had a nice dinner, watched Silver Streak with him. I'd forgotten about that movie, it was damn funny. I broke the satellite, Lucy fixed it, we had a decent day.
Sunday of course he was up at the crack of dawn, he picked and cooked some turnip greens for me. Lucy was mad she woke up smelling food and it wasn't breakfast, she doesn't like greens. He did cook breakfast for us so she was appeased. We picked some greens for me to take to Mom and Lucy and I headed over there for the rest of Sunday.
That's where things got weird. After hanging out with Spawn we went to the cemetery. All of us. I usually go there alone so this was strange for me. I've been with Lucy 7 years and she'd never been there.
Of course I was making graveyard jokes with Babysis, telling her where to put me when she got the ashes. "Don't get fancy, just bring some post hole diggers and a bottle of wine, leave a little of me with Middle Sis and then dig a hole between Granny and Papaw and dump me in, I don't think I'll need a smoke, but add a little wine just for the hell of it." Of course this was out of Mom's earshot, she doesn't appreciate such humor.
Then we went to the old house where Granny, Papaw and I lived the first few years of my life. Well, Mom lived there part of hers too. Mom had called the owner, she's the niece of our landladies, she wanted us to call when we got there since she hasn't seen me in 40 years. Ok, We trespassed a bit because I wasn't sure about seeing her, but she drove by on her way home from wherever and showed up on a Gator of all things. The woman is at least in her 70's so I was impressed.
The only things standing were the house and the smokehouse and they were falling down. Ms. Owner said you could still go in the house through the back, but I wasn't risking putting my fat ass through the floor so I just walked around, and remembered.
Mom took some pictures since I forgot my fucking camera again.
I was gonna wash those greens I picked for Mom so she could just cook them, that wasn't happening so I just left her the cooked ones. Dad will laugh when I tell him.

Spawn gets down

Shitty quality because it's on my cell phone because my dumb ass forgot to take my camera again. (I have to hit play twice.)

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Don't you hate those ads?

I give you a tribble.

Hello Sister

I see you would have been 40 today. I'm sorry we missed that party, I would have loved decorating your place and giving you shit. I'm sorry I won't have that opportunity.
I'll be around to see you Sunday, but you see me already so I'm sure we're good.
Lucy asked me about you earlier since she never got to meet you. I told her you were just like Mom, I hope you don't mind that, but you were. Ya'll loved yardsales and fleamarkets and bullshit that I never cared about, and Babysis doesn't really care about. You were also the caregiver, the stable one. Maybe that comes with being a middle child, I don't know.
You dragged me to places I wouldn't usually go, and got onto me for being "Uppity" because those weren't places I'd usually go, but we had fun doing it.
I miss being children together, dancing to American Bandstand in the livingroom, we had some awesome moves back in the day.
Between you and me, Babysis turned out alright. She's a great mom, not really a great cook, but she's ok.
I love you and miss you beyond belief.
Happy Birthday.

I have a new Quack

Sort of.
Since my real Quack left town, I've been reduced to visiting the Doc In A Box by work because they won't just let you phone in and get highly dangerous drugs like blood pressure pills.
I've seen a couple of the guys there, and they told me I needed to see The Witchdoctor (Annie's name for her) I have no idea what her real name is, but saw her today.
I liked her other than the fact that she told me to quit drinking, smoking and start exercising.
I've also got to have a blood test and all the good yearly shit. Yay me.
I had a fried egg sandwich for dinner, maybe I'll go get the blood tested in the morning just because.

Well that was unexpected

I got a phone call at 8:15 this morning, I let it go to voicemail because
1.) It was from Mrs. Asshole*
2.) I was busy
3.) My intuition (and great intelligence) told me the call had something to do with the bullshit from Sunday because we are not phone buddies.
4.) I don't like bullshit at 8:15 am.

Imagine my surprise when an hour later I listened to the message and she said I was right. She wouldn't be hanging out in The Dive because yes, she did bitch about it constantly so why go there?
Imagine my suddenly feeling like shit.
I called her back, we talked a bit, I apologized for jumping her shit, she apologized for pissing me off, we came to an agreement, all ok.

*She got saddled with that name because of the Jerk she's married to, I actually like her a bit.

Yes, I can read

I just don't do a lot of it anymore. Last night I picked up one of Annie's books to read at The Dive since it was Monday, nobody comes out on Monday. Ok, Mr. B. comes out on Monday, I kicked his ass and came home where I read til 1am because I was hooked.
Tonight, I came home, after getting raped at the grocery store........shit to make hamburgers and a couple of other things $43??? No booze or anything, assholes.
Anyway, grilled burgers, ironed a couple of shirts, just finished the book, and it just pissed me off. I hate it when that happens.
It's like spending time with a lover only to find out they suck (and not in a good way.)
I invested all these hours into something I thought would be awesome, letdown. Dammit.
This is the book. I'm sorry if you enjoyed it, I've wasted sleep.

DId I cause a firestorm, or am I just loved?

I went to The Dive this afternoon to pay money for a fish dinner to benefit a bartender. Fish was good.
I apparently stayed too late, talking to The Princess. Other people showed up, got uppity with the owner (and I didn't even know about that)
Ms. Asshole came over and got a smoke, then told me she was opening her own bar because she didn't like this one.
I said fine, open your own place and stay the fuck outta here since you hate it so much.
Apparently that made me a celebrity. I had free beers lined up from the bartenders.
If you don't like something why revisit?

A Conversation With Lucy

Me: You know you look a bit like Sarah Palin with your hair up like that.
L: Oh hell no, I have a brain cell.
Me: Where? Under your bun?
L: (After grabbing me by the collar) You're lucky you're cute.
Me: I'm fucking adorable.
L: (Laughing) I've created a monster.
Me: Yes you did, I had low self-esteem until I met you.

I just asked Lucy if she wanted to approve this message before I sent it out. She said no, she's gonna kick my ass anyway.

Night kids.

This was a given

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap. If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

Stolen from here.

A Sad Reality

Mom called today, to check on Dad's procedure from last week because I apparently told her about it, and informed me The Grandson didn't know until afterwards. OOOps.
My bad, I need to call him more often.
Lucy and I were talking about the grapevine, she finds it fascinating that everyone knows everyone else's business. Armpit is a small town, they have nothing better to do than monitor everyone else.
We laughed about Mom calling me, but the sad thing is if Mom hadn't accidentally found out about StepMom being in the hospital, Dad wouldn't have called to tell me.
He would have called when she died, but I wouldn't have had what little time I did have with her while she was alive.
Sometimes things work like they should.

Lollipop, lollipop

I don't think I could deal with the bacon.

Absinthe on the other hand...



Site.

Piss on your Comet

I just went to pee. Annie had left Comet in the toilet. I don't know why because hers is much nastier than mine so......
I'm in a foul mood. I'll just get that out there in front because, really.
I still don't feel well so of course I'm grouchy, work sucks ass, INVENTORY, I'm still doing something at INVENTORY she should have been doing herself (not Annie this time) and I really still don't feel well.
Annie cooked crockpot chicken today, I was looking for a bowl to put the leftovers in when I got home and ended up on a ladder cleaning the fucking cabinets out because I couldn't find the lid I needed. I never did, so the bowl went in the trash too.
I did spend time at The Dive talking to The Princess about dreams, and lost siblings, and lost pets, and I'm sure that has nothing to do with my present mood.
I should just come home and watch CSI, it would be easier on everyone.

Looking for the Culprit

I wrapped up and froze the leftover pork tenderloin I so lovingly grilled for Sunday's dinner since it was obviously not the one, otherwise Lucy and Annie would have also had their intestines used to calf-rope their stomachs. I'm glad, but unfortunately Wilbur and I will not be on speaking terms for a while.
I've felt like leftover shit all day, and the insides and outsides hurt equally most of the day. The insides finally settled down after I got off work. I was there at 6:15am since my insides didn't want me to sleep again so that was a shock to everyone. It's ok, it's Inventory week in Hell so I have plenty to do.
I'm gonna guess whatever BabySis had last week caught up with me and leave it at that, dammit.
Annie was combing The Handsome Devil earlier, she's a bit obsessive about it, so I didn't really notice what she was doing. I went to the bathroom and there is a pile of golden fur sitting on a paper towel on a corner of the sink. I asked her why there was a Tribble in my bathroom. She didn't get it. I just said Star Trek, she said OK. It works.
I'm going to smoke and wait for Lucy to call. Night kids.

See What Happens?

After all the sleeping, relaxing and fun having this weekend, I got violently ill last night. I'd had a touch of diarrhea all day, last night it got much worse. About 3 am I'm puking my guts out. I haven't thrown up in probably 10 years people, it was not at all pleasant. Thankfully I seem to have gotten all that out of my system, I made it to work about 1pm because they couldn't seem to live without me. My innards still feel like they're full of Ninja throwing stars, but at least I can move without groaning. I was heading to bed an hour ago, but decided to talk to Lucy first since that's always easier than worrying her by telling her I'm sick and going to bed in a text. Now I'm really outta here. Night kids.

Another concert

Did I tell ya'll I was going to see BB King? Well I did, and it was great. Annie was under the weather so Lucy and I went without her, poor Annie. An 83 year old man sitting on a folding chair and entertaining for 2 hours was more enjoyable than a whole lot of shows I've seen with a hell of a lot more activity. I hope he makes it back here again.
Other than that, it was another pretty worthless day so I'm at least rested up for hell week at work. I now need to wind down and take my ass to bed. Night kids.

I have been completely worthless

Lucy and I slept late, I showered with thoughts of a haircut and work, got over both.
Played around online and remembered The Dirty Old Man was making red beans and rice for the Alabama football game today. I dragged Lucy to The Dive to eat, and we stayed for awhile.
She's gone to the video store for a copy of The Women (the original) and I'm just waiting for her to get back so we can have couch time with Joan Crawford.
There may be stupidity later, but I dunno, I'm tired from being worthless.

I got a piece of shit on my shoe

I was visiting Sassy and apparently stepped in her troll.
He stopped by to share the hate this afternoon, so now all the shit I find frustrating is going on here. Sorry.
Hopefully I'll be back to my normal non-monitoring self soon.
Night Kids.

I took a Mental Health Day from work

Because those two words didn't go together in my vocabulary yesterday for some reason. I'm not sure what happened, but I had a really bad day. I called Dad last night and he'd been having one of those days too, which didn't help mine at all.
So today, I got up to go to work, looked in the mirror, and took my ass back to bed because I looked like Hell run over by a tractor. After sleeping half the day I got up and started cleaning my bedroom, I figured organizing and de-cluttering would help me get a handle, and it helped. I dunno, I thought I was handling things ok, but apparently not.
My feeling is I'm tired, every weekend has been busy, busy, work is busy, busy, and I try not to think about shit, but it's still there and the whole big sack of shit just hit me upside the head yesterday. I'm now taking my ass to bed because I'm a tired puppy again. Night kids.

It's been a year already?

Babysis has circled the sun yet another time, I don't know how she does it and still manages to take care of a small child.
She only looks 50 (she still hasn't forgiven The Dirty Old Man for thinking she was older than me, 10 or so years ago) when she's a paltry 35.
Happy Birthday Babysis, I hope you never see this, but if you do, I was kidding, you look 40:)

I Came Home After Work

Don't have a heart attack, it happens occasionally. There was hamburger in the freezer that needed cooking, Annie was out of town, I had fun.
I Krogered and got stuff to make tacos, cooked dinner, made myself a Chile Relleno since I found some of those huge peppers Dad gave me that I thought Annie used in the salsa. Then I did laundry, apparently everything I owned was dirty, I haven't been all here lately, apparently I've been washing enough to clothe my ass and gotten over it. Much ironing was done, more will need to be done, but I'll be good in a couple of days.
I'm now taking my tired ass to bed.
Night kids.

I played with a Pro tonight

I went to The Dive after work because I apparently have nothing better to do. I sat and drank beer by myself since Annie was at home working and The Princess got the last season of Will and Grace on DVD.
I went to cash out and she gave me another beer so I sat back down for a bit. The Pro came over and challenged me to a game for a shot.
I haven't seen the guy in forever and he rarely plays, apparently he was in the mood tonight. He really was a Pro, he throws lefty and badly enough to make it a game when he plays with commonfolk, so I do enjoy hanging out with him, he gives me tips too. He gave me the highest compliment of my darting life tonight, after asking why I didn't point, me telling him I had time, he said "You play my game." That made me feel good because he's THAT GOOD and he doesn't get uppity about it.
We had an enjoyable 5 games, he won 3 so everything is right with the world.
Night Kids.

Do not EVER, EVER

get drunk and let Annie wax your eyebrows. I now have an eyebrow piercing with no eyebrow to accompany it.
Lucy was not amused when I told her I'd paint on a Joan Crawford on the left and a Bette Davis on the right.
I think she needs a new sense of humor, I found it quite funny.
You know I'm gonna do it too, poor woman.

I give you Chef Spawn

Lucy and I took off for Armpit yesterday after I finally finished all my chores around here since I've been a bit remiss. We cooked a lot. I also need to get video from Mom of me riding Spawn's new Gator, Babysis on his mustang, and him on his lawnmower. We had a blast.

I Hate My Neighbors, otherwise titled, I just HATE

This morning while I was being late to work I noticed Animal Control next door with the sweet white dog who has escaped yet again.
The neighbors have a history of dogs that disappear, so that's where my hate comes from. They did make an attempt with this one, but still.
I asked if I could put her back in her fence "Not unless you will take responsibility for her."
Ok, can I put her in MY fence where I know she'll stay? "Not unless you take responsibility for her."
I finally asked how much "responsibility" would cost me. (Brain WAS working at some point today.)
$200 fine for having a dog out.
I helped them take her to jail because if I'm gonna pay $200 she's gonna be my bitch. I felt like shit and cried all the way to work.
If they don't bail her out I'll go get her myself, fuckers. I'm sure that'll cause an international incident but it's not her fault her humans are stupid.

I Hate PMS, or Perimenopause, or whatthefuckever you wanna call it

I'm alternating between starving and not having an appetite at all. I'm as likely to laugh as I am to cry.
I hate feeling like "Poor Pitiful Me", but today has been that kind of day.
The Princess finally got to The Dive and we talked, I do love him, he's a good friend. We may fight occasionally, but he's a good guy.
I'm a lucky woman in some respects, I do have good friends, and then I have other friends, I used to be a better judge of people.
The Princess said it's not so much "I used to be" as I got friends and forgave them for a lot of shit I didn't used to put up with. He's probably right.
The people who stay in my life are there because no matter what I support them and they support me. That makes him a keeper, even when I want to rip his nuts off for being an ass.
I'm going to bed to hopefully start my period so I'll be less angsty, I'm too old for that shit.
Night kids.

Things have been stupid lately

I have been lied to, and not very well. I'll process.
I don't like liars, at all.
Mom always told me "If you lie, you will get caught".
True Dat.
I've pretty much stuck with that since she's right. I tell the truth because it's much easier than backtracking.
Some people don't seem to have that gene.
A woman older than me lied to me, it bothers me she felt the need to do that. She's history because hello, if you can't trust your friends?

I'm officially old

I heard this song thanks to the SUV travelling down the street while I was smoking.
After finding out it's R. Kelly, I'm not so surprised, but I did laugh my ass off.
The song is The Zoo. I don't think it'll be on my playlist anytime soon.

Girl, I got you so wet

It's like a rain forest

Like Jurassic Park

Except I'm your sex-a-saurus baby

HAHAHAHAHA

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise. But in the end, a cheap letdown.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

I Figured Out How To Get Rid of the Blahs

Go to work on Saturday morning and get totally pissed the fuck off. I can do this for you too for a low fee of $29.95 a month, I can send someone out to fuck up your shit.
I haven't worked a weekend in awhile, but had to check on stuff yesterday, and it was ugly, and made me late getting out of town, and I was not a happy camper.
I had to stop by the part store on my way out, with the understanding that I would be back at work today to fix all the shit I had to steal parts for because Flash has fucked me up beyond belief.
All good now, but if he wasn't a total asshole, I'd be ripping him a new one tomorrow. Ok, he may get taller tomorrow.
Enough about that.
Lucy and I got to Dad's pretty much just in time to leave for the Mini Midget Football game we had to watch because G GDaughter is a cheerleader.
I don't like kids, but it was fun, poor guys, helmets and pads were bigger than they were, no wonder they got trounced.
We got back to Dad's, he had ribs, Lucy made mashed potatoes, I did cornbread, excellent dinner.
Dad and talked quite a bit last night about stuff that needs to be done, and will get done in the next few weeks. Stepmom's stuff came up, and I told him I wanted that ugly ass Squirrel, and why, he laughed and said he didn't know why she liked it either, but there it was. Dad is off to do some work and have a vacation this week.
I'm about to be slammed with work, so we'll see where it all goes.

Guilt

I have a shitload of it. Anybody want some? I'm trying to get rid of some cheap.
Lucy tells me to look for the good, and I am, and I'm finding it, but it still doesn't make the bad go away.
I spent a lot of time with Dad and Stepmom back in the day. I should have spent more after she got sick but shit happened and she was all "I know you're busy, don't worry about us." I slipped further and further into not visiting and not calling.....and I feel like shit about it.
On the good side, Dad and I talk frequently now, he's not afraid to ask me to do stuff, and Lucy and I will be visiting again tomorrow to hang out and take care of bullshit for him.
Stepmom has finally got us where she wanted us all these years, we actually talk to each other. And that damned squirrel is watching.
Night kids.

I looked nice, according to Mom

I met Mom yesterday afternoon at Dr. Oncologist's office because I expected to meet New Guy, he was gone. Instead we saw the real Dr. who said everything looks good, scheduled her new scans to make sure things stay good, and we're good.
On the phone Mom told me she thought I looked good because I was in jeans that fit and a shirt that almost did. She always sees me in baggy shorts and big shirts. Hello, I like those.
I wore the jeans she gave me for x-mas (button fly, I hate them) and a pink shirt since I was trying to look respectable and all.
Can't win with Mom, I was too fat, now I'm too skinny.

Annie will be upset

I'm sitting outside, she has 2 bottles of Sevin(something) out here, and there is a fly on each. Nope, not dead, I just checked.
I think I'll not tell her.

Lucy was almost disappointed

As everyone knows, Lucy is not happy with my eyebrow. Fine.
We get to Dad's house Saturday and I'm barely in the door before she's telling him "Yell at her! Do you see what she did?" Dad looks at me and tells her "I'm not gonna yell at her, if she's not old enough to make her own decisions now she never will be." Yay Dad.
We made jokes about it but she was miffed he saw my point (of course everyone tells me I'm just like him so that may be why.)
Sunday we went to Mom's house before coming home. Lucy was vindicated.
Mom threatened to kill me twice before settling on disowning me for a month. She gave me shit for a few hours, Lucy and I headed home and Lucy asked for my phone. I just assumed hers didn't have a good signal, should have known better. She called Dad to tell him Mom gave me down the road since yes, Dad knew she would.
I'm glad to be cheap entertainment.

"Bugs aren't supposed to scream!"

One of these slipped into the house Saturday night at Dad's when I went out to smoke. I was hoping that wasn't the case after I heard a helicopter go by my head, but unfortunately Lucy let me know it was a couple of minutes later.
She ran to the door screaming "Where's the broom?" because said critter was attacking the light in the kitchen with a vengeance, and it was loud, and Dad was hopefully asleep at midnight. I hand her the broom from the porch along with the flyswatter for good measure, close the door and pick up my cigarette. Lucy stands there for a few seconds, broom in one hand, flyswatter in the other, then screams at me "Aren't you going to help me?" Sigh. I throw down my smoke, go in, take the broom from her and decide to just cut off the light. Lucy is freaking now that it's going to go to that lamp, it didn't. I grab a paper towel and find the bug on the floor so I pick it up and it cusses me out in a language I can't understand. Now Lucy is all "Get it out, it's screaming, bugs aren't supposed to scream." Of course I hold it closer to her.
I don't think I'll ever get laid again.

I have Blog Fodder for days

So I don't know what to do with it. Lucy and I went to see Dad yesterday, which turned into a night, and........we laughed and acted stupid and had a good time and other stuff and......I'll just tell you about the squirrel.
Once upon a time (back in 70 something) I bought the ugliest gift in the history of the world for Stepmom because, well it was then, I was young, Mom was spending the money, it was cheap and Mom made sure I had a gift for everyone in my life (read, Stepmom). I wasn't a shopper then either.
So, I (Mom) purchased this little ditty, I (possibly) wrapped it and gave it to Stepmom for Christmas in 1970something.
I've seen it over the years, but never really paid that much attention.
Last week I realized this lovely posession has been gracing one corner of her fireplace for the last 20 years, I just noticed the empty walnut shell in front of it last night.
If this isn't proof she loved me I don't know what is.

That poor woman.

Lucy is Mad

We haven't talked yet, but she's not happy with me.
The Princess and I decided I should buy some wifebeater makeup for the other eye just so I'll match.

Holes

The girls (Betty and Veronica) have managed to open some holes between their domain (Utility Room) and the re-modelled garage (Junk Room) and I'm really lackadaisical about it. It might have been a big deal when I had cats because the Junk Room was their space and the girls could be offering them a way out but.......my cats were Ninja's. They managed to slip out of any opening, or make an opening, and show up on the doorstep in the morning. Frat guys? Sorority girls? Something like that.
I came home more than once to a torn screen, missing pussy, and panic only to find them around the corner of the house looking extremely cute and causing me to forget. Lord knows what they'd been up to, but hey, cats have their own rules.
I miss kitties.

The Bitch is Back

Ok, Poor, Pitiful me has left the building.
I ripped Flash this morning and the other person who heard it apparently told the whole place. It wasn't up to my usual standards, but since I've kept my mouth shut for months it worked. And it felt good.
I have a beautiful shiner from the piercing. I'm gonna tell people Lucy hit me and I got pierced to cover up the fact that I got beat up by a girly-girl.
I've got to pick up the cake for The Princess tomorrow, his b-day is Sunday, poor baby is almost as old as me.
Later kids.

I got pierced again

I got my eyebrow re-done, with a barbell this time. So much more tasteful.
Annie told me about shit at work, I went and got pierced again just because.
I've pissed off Lucy again.
I'm screwed already.
I've given a lot of thought to shit since Stepmom died.
I'm not happy.
I'm not happy.
I'm not happy.
My work is not fulfilling, my life outside of work is something to keep me occupied, not really anything I want to do or aspire to.
I need to find a new something because what I've got going on ain't working.
I need to get a new life.
I need to think about what I really want.
I don't have the balls to open that hamburger stand on the beach yet.
I wish I did.

Once Upon a Time

Back in the day, I didn't go out, I sat home and talked to my Mother on the phone. She remembers those days just as she remembers everything else I've ever done. So when I called her at 9:00 tonight, while she was sleeping, she woke up and we chatted. It was good.
My family has a pretty colorful history I'll have to get around to, tonight we talked about how I've lost 2 of my 3 Mom's. I'm not happy with that number.
Real Mom is all I've got left, I don't know what I'll do if something happens to her. She's always been the one screaming "wolf" I expected to have Other Mom and Stepmom well into my 80's, I'm a bit discombobulated. We talked about that among other things, I have permission to spend more time with Dad since he'll need it...
She has always been the one wanting me to be around, but she's willing to concede that Dad needs me more right now.
I'm just feeling lost.

Monday stupidity

I got up at 7, went back to bed, got up at 8, showered for work, went back to bed, snuggled with Lucy until 11 and tried to fix my nappy head before going to work. She left, I left, took care of business and ended up at the dive to eat dinner, I got half of it down. I've fucked up my stomach by not having an appetite the last week.
Our favorite Dive bartender wasn't working yesterday, she's done until the kid is born. Damn timing.
My fave Friday's bartender sent me a text today about the contest there tomorrow, The Princess and Annie have seats, I don't, may stop by to see the kids for a bit and give Annie some money to spend on charity, but don't plan to stay.
I ironed tonight so I have something to wear to work this week, watched tv, talked to Lucy (everyone else was busy when I called) now I think I'll take my ass to bed.
Night kids.

No floating for me

It's raining. I guess the remnants of Fay finally made it here. That's not a bad thing, we're still behind.
I could still go hang out in the pool since it's not lightning and I'll be wet anyway, but I don't want Ms. Fan to think I've totally lost it, floating around in the pool in the rain...
I need to be productive and go pick up thank you cards for work and do some ironing and such anyway. Right now I'm thinking about just going back to bed, Lucy is sleeping in and Annie is at the Doc in a box, she made salsa Thursday night and it totally fucked up her head. It's good, just very mild, I like the burns your tongue off kind but I'll get over it.
Anyway, I guess I'll go do something. We'll end up at The Dive later since our favorite bartender is only working Sundays now and we need to give her baby gifts before she disappears to spit out yet another kid.(The last one was premature, she left before we could get the gift to her). So, looks like I've got things to do, I think I'll start with a nap. Later kids.

Stuff again, ain't got much else

Thank you all for the kind words. This week has been surreal to say the least. It's been Saturday for me all week.
Dad and I talked a lot, which is good, we don't do much of that.
I can now say I've seen Hannah Montana since the Great Granddaughter only wanted to watch Disney while she was there, I wasn't impressed and hope to never see that shit again. She did give me a break from Dad's music in the car tho, so I'll give her that. She's 8 and handled things remarkably well since Gran-Gran was her love.
The Grandson and family were spending last night and today, Dad sent me pics of G G-daughter with her bigass catfish she caught so all is well at the moment.
I slept last night, got some stuff done, gonna call Ms. Fan tomorrow to see if I can come over and float in the pool for awhile and try to get back to something resembling normal cuz I'm still in shock right now.
I hate hate hate it, but I know she's not in pain anymore so I'll get used to it. Just hard to walk into that house without her there.
Ok, enough of this, I'll try to find some dumbassery. It's amazing, a southern funeral and no stupidity went on, that never happens.

And So It Goes

Stepmom died.
I've been with Dad since Tuesday, well, until last night, I came home exhausted, I think I'll go to bed now too.

I'm glad I'm not PMS'ing anymore

It was Monday all the way around.
I was late to work.
Something I sent out last week was fucked up because I was stupid, and it took me forever to figure out I was stupid.
Lucy's sister had a wreck, she's ok by some stroke of luck.
Lucy had to take Hubs to hospital, we'll see what happens there.
Stepdad's supposed gout is probably something else because he's worse.
Stepmom took a turn for the worse.
Bacon tried to put my right eye out.
I have a painful zit in my left nostril.
I've written and re-written but this pretty much sums it up. I think I'll put on my jammies and go to sleep.
I've talked to everyone about everything and done what I can do for now.
Night kids.

I stink

I cut okra yesterday, it needed to be cooked, it's fried and I smell like a greasepit.
I did throw in a green tomato at the end since I was frying, it was good.

My Dad Sucks

I'll try to shorten the very long story.
Mom went to see Stepmom Friday morning before work. Mom calls and tells me Stepmom is gonna die if they don't do something. I wait to hear from Dad, nothing. I call him about 7:30 Friday night and he's telling me she's awesome, she's alert, things are happening that need to be happening and we're moving towards getting better.
I get there today, Stepmom looks like shit, but is more alert than she was Wednesday, and get the conversation from Dad that even the Dr. thought she was gonna die yesterday. WHY DIDN'T HE CALL ME? His answer "There was nothing you could do."
We'll fight about that one some more later, but at the moment Stepmom is doing really better (instead of Dad's version of "better") I'll be back this week because I obviously can't trust my network to keep me in touch.
Thank you to all of you who sent a prayer or thought this way, it's helped and I appreciate it immensely.
I'm off to smoke with The Handsome Devil because his farts just burned my nose, and take Lucy to bed because she's running on empty also.

The Princess and I did this

He spilled, I swallowed like a queen:)

Edit: Sorry, pic didn't turn out quite right. Jello Shooters called "Suck and Blow" One person has to blow or you can't get it out.