I Surprise Myself

I got to The Dive and my table was occupied by a friend and his purse. He said it matched his shoes, he lied. His wife was doing whatever, I was quickly put in the corner when other people showed up. I'm claustrophibic, I sat in my corner and drank beer,and managed to get through 3 hours of OH SHIT I WANNA MOVE NOW AND I HATE IT HERE.
Mr. Asshole showed up during part of that, after everyone else left he and I threw some darts and actually sat down and had a conversation. I've obviously become more tolerant.
I couldn't stand him when I met him. Maybe we've both mellowed. I've been to The Asshole Residence a few times, but this is the most he and I have interacted. Yay me, but he's still an asshole.

I need to get out more

I came home and turned on The Kennedy Center Honors since there's nothing else on tv and I had shit to do anyway. I heard this woman singing, and I sat down on the couch and went Oh My Fucking God. I've never been an opera fan, but I may become one.

So Much For Irresponsibility

I went to work on time this morning because really? Annie was full of shit last night. I had shit to do, but got involved in other stuff that took all day, so glad I did show up. Now I just have more shit to do.

Grafton was good, but I hate it when the deadline is looming and they wrap up real quick. That's what it felt like anyway. All the meat was through the first 3 quarters, the last was rushed and tied up without much detail. I'll give it a C+.

I should change my sheets and put on some flannel since it's fucking cold, but I'm too lazy tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

Think I'll smoke and possibly take my ass to bed after I cover it in a few layers.
Night kids.

Sunday Suntimes

I got shit accomplished before leaving for The Dive to read for a bit. They got candy, I got laundry taken care of, it's all good.
Annie showed up. I gave her the paddle since she has the more fucked up family.
She came home, I threw darts with Andy, my new buddy who pushes me to throw better. I don't want to be his partner but that's beside the point.
I need to iron, but Annie pretty much told me I don't have to work tomorrow so.............I'm hanging out for the minute.
Sue Grafton finally has U out. I'm liking it immensely.
I think I'll get back to it since I don't have to be responsible tomorrow.
Night kids.

I Wondered what I Did to Piss off the Universe

Apparently it was this.
It was not an actual e-mail but a mash up from my days of online dating and some of the shit I get at work these days addressed to defunct addresses.

I thought it was funny, apparently some of you did too. It happens, trust me.
I paid for it today after Lucy was hours later getting here than she intended, we finally decided on dinner, they are closed until Jan 5, my store didn't have any of my smokes, and I had 3 blown lightbulbs when I got home. (Just glad something is getting blown.)

I'll be sure to add a disclaimer to any further (partially) made up shit so I don't get struck by lightning for it.

Back to our regularly scheduled bullshit.

Delayed Reactions

I Survived, now if I never see another Univ. of Alabama football helmet........oh shit. I guess I should move.

Now if we could just decipher the problem of me getting fat, eating like a horse and being late...........If I find a turkey baster Lucy is dead.

"Hey Spawn, you wanna box with Aunt Rain?" "YEAH!" Smack, thump, fetal position.
"I meant on the Wii kid."

Happy Chrismakwanifesiyule or whatever ya'll.

(No, there's no way I'm pregnant, unless I do turn up a turkey baster.) I'll be national news if I do.

Looking

Hellow, I'm 26 an bendy in all the rite places. call me if u wanna hook up.

Scary shit.

I want

My dart partner tonight was wearing that. I know it's very Un-PC, but so am I so I don't care.

Unexpected but pretty

I came home to find these on the porch. I was all ready to get WTF on Lucy, then remembered she usually sends shit to work.

These were from my new owners at work. Holy Shit.

Sunday was really lazy

Lucy cooked breakfast. It was excellent. I hung out in my jammies till late while doing laundry, since everything I owned was dirty. Finally showered and went to The Dive, mostly because I needed to get dog food cuz the kids were not gonna have dinner otherwise.
Sitting there, reading, I realized I hadn't brushed my teeth. Shit. How the hell does that happen? Fur coats on canines are not pretty no matter the context. I cashed out, came home and fixed that.
Now, I'm off to bed to grow a new fur coat.
Later kids.

Stupid Saturday

Lucy and I went to breakfast and then the grocery store. I'm not sure what the hell I was thinking when I said "Oh yeah, I'll go with you, I need to pick up a few things." I was one pissed off bitch by the time we left there. Thankfully we were meeting Annie and The Princess at The Dive after because I really needed a drink.
Annie and I got our asses handed to us a few times by Lucy and The Princess while throwing darts
The Assholes and The Widow and Boytoy were out, I thought Lucy was gonna rip Boytoy a new one for being a testosterone overloaded asshole. We left not long after he got on her nerves and before he could really get on mine.
We had some of these for dinner. Excellent if you add chilis and provolone.
Now Wizard of Oz is on and brownies are cooking. I think it might be an early night. Emogene just told me I need to cut my nails.
Later kids.

Friday night with a twist

Lucy and I met Ms. Sweet at the alternate Dive since there was the band at the regular place. We had fun, and it was mostly quiet, that's a good thing.
Came home and Lucy is giving me shit about Emogene since I brought her home for the weekend. She's jealous I'm liking another box. She doesn't get that Emogene has Windows 7, Lucy is hardwired to 1955.
I admit I was sitting here with Howard and his XP, and Emogene and her sleek new 7, and I had a bit of sensory overload. I'm writing this on Howard, but Emogene is calling me.....I think I'll wait till Lucy goes to sleep to sneak up and play.

Dirty Santa at The Dive

I didn't participate in that. The one guy was back, good music, and he leaves my table open so I can sit in the back of the place. I'm ok with that.
Mr. Asshole got a Snuggie, so that was worth a snicker, and Mrs. Asshole got a box of cheap wine. Glad I didn't waste a bottle of good booze on that mess.
I apparently hurt Annie's feelings since I don't give a shit about her problems with The Princess and she left early. Her loss.
I'm not terribly pleasant these days (I'm not a lot of the time actually) it's a miracle anyone likes me at all. I just don't have a problem with not having people around, I prefer not to. I guess I should try to understand the other side. Nah, they can just leave me alone, Spawn is picking my Nursing Home so fuck everybody else.

Weird and different

I went to The Dive after work to celebrate (after checking on Ms. Sweet's dogs since I didn't make it over there this morning). I moved from my perch when the League people started showing up simply because I'm not an asshole most of the time.
A guy who is there a lot came over and gave me money to play the jukebox. I told him I liked his music just fine, he said I played good music and he didn't know who a lot of them were, but would I?
I did, he came back a few songs in and said I played happy music, and people didn't like his stuff. I never had a problem with what he played.
Still made me feel good someone likes my taste.

It's A Girl!

Emogene Lucretia Wolf was delivered at 4:05 pm today weighing in at a svelte 6.3 lbs and 15.4". Isn't she beautiful?

So this is what's it's like to win the lottery...

It was Monday, I wasn't expecting much.
Turned out to be a balmy 55 and there was actually some sunshine this afternoon. I liked that.
Ms. Sweet called right before I left work to check on her dogs to tell me LS ate some of her vitamins this morning so "if he's sick or dead, that's why." Nice. He was fine, apparently the vitamins just made him hungry since he cleaned every food bowl she left out. He's a bit skittish, but came over to get his treat so hopefully we're all good there.
I went to The Dive after, grabbed the wrong book from the car but started reading it anyway since Mr. Mafia was hanging out and he gave me shit about my book yesterday.
You haven't met him yet, well coiffed, well jewelled gentleman who has recently started hanging around and we chat a bit. I decided the book was a keeper. I wasn't really into it when I started, so that worked out.
Annie showed up after her date, beat her ass at darts. My brother (who really isn't) came in right after that and beat her ass. She came home so I threw a couple of games with him, 1 and 1, but he paid my tab simply because he can.
I just got off the phone with Anonymous talking about our muses. Apparently mine left The Bahamas early, dumb bitch.
I think I'll go read some more of the keeper book and get to bed at a decent hour.
Night kids:)

This is for you Anonymous

Whatever Muse I had has left. I used to think I should write something every day whether I actally had something to say or not. I got nothing.
Sometimes it was funny, most times it was boring, lately it's not even worth logging in.
I haven't done much lately except read and drink. Meri Weiss is worth reading btw, she kept me up a couple of nights.
I'll try to pick up my personality tomorrow, it was getting cleaned. Maybe things will pick up from there.
Later.

So that explains that...

There's been a guy at The Dive. We threw some darts. Mine were bad. He mentioned people I knew from another place, I got it.
He's gay but not out, knew me from the other place I hung out, that explains his looking at me a lot (I've lost a lot of weight and hair since my nights there)

I wondered why he was around and checking me out.
I'm glad that's all resolved.

Bah Humbug kids.

Do I need a noseplug?

Annie called to see where I was earlier. I was throwing darts with a bartender. I'm up even tho he won the last. She didn't tell me I'd need to swim home. Jeep wasn't happy about that either.
It snowed over the weekend and thunderstorms tonight. I'm not sure who pissed off who, but I don't like it.
I'm glad Jeep and I are on a hill now just in case. We can always skate down when it freezes.
I had thoughts, but I'm cold, wet and tired, that just makes me more pissy than usual.
Later.

Last night's snow

That's actually a black table. It was all gone by 10 am.

Lucy's Bedtime Story

William, Henry and Horace were 3 little pigs thrown out into the world to make it on their own.
William built a straw house, he was an entrepeneur.
Henry built a twig house, he was an environmentalist.
Horace built a brick house, he was a lawyer. And then The Commodores took over my brain and I started singing She's a Brick House, Lucy peed the bed.

Dinner with Dad and the kids

We had a good time. Dad seemed anxious. The Grandson and I talked about it while we were out smoking. Apparently Skank was waiting for us to leave. That's fine, at least she wasn't there.
Saw new ultrasound pics of the new addition, she looks like The Grandson. That's cool since he didn't get his boy and the other daughter looks exactly like her mom. I don't see them nearly enough so we'll be making a date for after x-mess, she's due end of January.
In other news, it's snowing in Alabama. Think I'll go smoke again and go to bed.
Night kids.

Got not a thing

Today was quiet, that's good.
The Grandson sent me a couple of texts last night, apparently we're having dinner at Dad's tomorrow night since we didn't really do Thanksgiving. Grandson didn't want to miss the football game Saturday. Fine with me, I haven't seen his wife since she got really pregnant, and it's always nice to see them anyway, they're good kids.
Taking my ass to bed if I can keep my book from calling me to finish. Dammit.

In other news, Annie told me Purple Rain was on whatever channel. I actually turned over and semi-watched it. I wondered what the hell I was thinking when I went to the theater to see this movie, then realized I was 19. I still love Prince, but that movie sucked ass. Off to bed, night kids.

Happy Dances and shit

I was late to work today (Hello, no sleep, and then stayed up to finish book last night, and I know that's not an excuse but...) so. Slammed from the minute I walked in the door, and finally got a breathing moment. Caught up with someone about money since some needs to be available for purchases I'm supposed to be making. Not good.
Ta-daaaa Mail came. "Our" new credit card showed up, I ordered my new computer.
I then smoked a cigarette and changed my underwear.

I went to The Dive where I kicked some ass at darts, saw a new guy who is a one-man-band and stayed out too late for all that.
Of course I hooked up with the stranger, he didn't know the crowd, and is a bit more out there than I like, so I left while he was in the bathroom. I'm such a badass.

Hello Tuesday, I think I'm in a time warp

I woke up at 3:30 this morning (and didn't even need to pee) so I argued with myself for a bit. I could sleep some more and listen to women bitch all day, then stay late, or I could get up and fix shit and get it over with. It was 32 degrees according to the Weather Channel. Shit, piss, fuck, damn and hell.
I was making coffee and getting ready to climb a ladder at 4:30. Traffic is way lighter in the mornings.
My amnesiac is now happily ensconced with the family again so all is well and I didn't have to talk to anyone, even better.
The Good Wife isn't coming on tonight so I think I'll catch up on sleep. Later kids.

Ok, that didn't go so well. I had some green tomatoes from the plant Annie kept leaving on the porch until I finally threw it in a flower pot. It started bearing a few weeks ago, had 3 decent sized green tomatoes, and then it got cold. I pulled them a couple of days ago, and couldn't stand the thought of throwing them out. Fried green tomatoes and cornbread for dinner. Yummmm.
Now I'm debating calling Lucy to whine about Annie not getting my dirty jokes, or just taking my ass to bed.

Yes, I'm Garfield. I Hate Mondays

I got to work early, expecting the worst. It was pretty calm until someone couldn't get mail from a customer. Hmmm, not the first time I've heard this complaint, but the previous complainant is a bit of a crybaby so I didn't worry too much about it until today. Seems Crybaby had merit, our provider did some updates to block Spam that guarantees I'm getting 100% more offers for Viagra, but missing out on actual customer e-mails. This is not a good thing.
I got busy speeding up our transition to doing something else on that front, fighting with my Internet moving slower than a teenager on the way to the Principal's office, and blaming it on my computer since it's already on life support, when I start getting complaints about other things. Like e-mails not going out, and timing out coming in, and "My streaming audio isn't working!" Ok, the last one was me.
Turns out one of my switches went out for shore leave this weekend and developed amnesia. It's working, but has no fucking idea where it is or what it's supposed to be doing. Oh Joy!
The best part of all this is I ran out of blood pressure medication Thursday and was too lazy to drive all the way out there to see Dr.(or pharmacist) all weekend so I pretty much had to get to the Dr. today or be in the same shape as the aforementioned switch.
I left to go to the Quack in a Box at 3:30 with intentions of going back to work afterwards. At 5:10, on the way to fill my prescription I decided fuck all that. So I need to sleep and get my ass up in the middle of the night to go try to fix things so tomorrow won't totally suck.
Tuesday should be a hoot too:)
Night kids.

Some TV Stuff

I was watching Criminal Minds when Annie came in and told me to check out Simon and Garfunkel on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Concert. Not bad. I'm still there.
Some of the old dogs are still doing alright. Ozzy looks like Carrot Top in the face, so obviously he's had some work. Didn't sound bad tho. Other than a couple of OMG's it's been pretty enjoyable. I'll have to catch the beginning when HBO re-runs it a thousand times. Think I'll finish this up and get some sleep since tomorrow is Monday and I already have e-mail about shit to do. (Yes, I'm an idiot and check my work mail when I'm off.) Night kids.

Been busy being worthless

I spent yesterday at The Dive watching football. I don't really give a shit, but it was a good game. Ms. Sweet showed up and we threw some darts and hung out. Dirty Old Man made excellent gumbo, good day.
I came home and spent some quality time with Lucy and apparently passed out early. I missed the phone call for her to rescue The Princess at 2 am. That was probably a good thing.
Today I ran some errands, back at The Dive to read and saw people, threw some darts, came home and grilled steaks while Lucy made taters and corn, probably gonna pass out early again because I'm miserable.
Forrest Gump is on, I guess that'll do until bedtime.
Later kids.

Thanksgiving dinner

It was nice even though I smoked up the house because I spilled some butter. Ooops.

Turkey Day

Annie left early to go to her parent's house, leaving me alone with the dogs. I did laundry, cleaned a bit, piddled around actually. I liked it. The Closer was on all day, there was lots of that until it went off at 5pm. That was the exact time The Dive was scheduled to open so.......
Bartender was late. I called from another bar's parking lot at 5:30 to see if he was there, yes he was. I had an interesting couple of hours and now I'm back home with the dogs, clean sheets, and trying to decide what to eat. Hmmmm.
Think I'll go read and twitter my life away. Night kids.

Big Brother is gettin on my nerves

I tried to start a blog for bullshit I didn't want to put here. Nope. Blogger has a chip in my skull that won't let me do that under this e-mail address. Dude, I made up this address to keep from giving out my real one, I don't want another one. Fuckers.

Last count I have 4 active addresses, this is the most anonymous of those so that's scary in itself.

I think I'll give up for the night and flip off the universe because as much as I like everything at my fingertips, I'm really hating everyone else knowing what's at my fingertips.

I know where there's a cave....

The Sun Shone today

I didn't hear a hallelujah chorus or anything, but it made a big difference in my mood.
I hate Winter, I hate the Holidays that happen in Winter. Hmmm, may be onto something here.
I just spell checked and I spelled hallelujah right, go me. I guess some of that Sunday School paid off.

Food day at work, I ate, and ate, and had dessert. It was scary.

The Dive after all that. The band was coming in, I moved to a table to get out of the way because I just really don't care anymore. Biker Chick was pretty vocal about her displeasure with the whole mess before she and everyone else joined me. I gave up being upset, I just take a table, read, and piss off the people that would like to sit. Whatever works.
I'm glad she left before the band started because they did one song then started a sound check that was still going on 20 minutes later when I left. It would have been a problem for her.
This is probably why they were One Hit Wonders. Big heads in small hats.

For the first time in recorded memory, I have nowhere to go Thanksgiving Day. Already did dinner at Mom's, Dad doesn't seem to be planning one period. I think I'll clean house since I'll have it to myself. I'm actually a bit giddy at the thought. Yeah, I'll read all night and sleep all day tomorrow, but at least it was a thought.

Ya'll have a Happy Thanksgiving and all that. I'm going to read and take my ass to bed.

Just a One Night Stand

My new pussy was missing this morning without even leaving a number or a name. Hasn't shown up tonight either :::sigh::: At least we'll always have that one unforgettable night when we felt the same way about humanity.

There's a New Pussy in my Bed

Ok, so it's a strange cat in the flowerbed. Tomato, tomahto.
He/She seems pretty content curled up in the bark stuff and I just get the stinkeye when I go out to smoke, so I think we can live with that. I'm not liking anybody that walks on 2 legs these days, so I don't blame kitty at all for giving me dirty looks.

I seem to have my annual case of Leave Me The Fuck Alone, but maybe a tad worse than usual. I think I'll cocoon for a bit. One holiday is out of the way early, Dad hasn't mentioned it, so maybe I can coast right on thru the rest and be done.

I'm trying to figure out how to get out of work dinner Wednesday already, I quit eating with these people last week because I can't stand any of them so it's not looking good for all that Hail Fellow Good Cheer shit.

Tomorrow is a funeral home after work so I'm sure that will really improve my mood.
Outta here. Night kids.

Early Holiday

We had dinner at Mom's today since Babysis has to work Thursday. Damn retail. Lucy and I went down last night to spend the night and help with some cooking and such this morning.
Spawn wanted to play. Bony little knees to the ribs pretty much did me in. I think I'll go get an ice pack and chill for a bit.
Later kids.

Apparently I can be that Dickish

Lucy is in my bed. She left The Dive earlier because I said something I shouldn't have. I don't remember what it was, but oh well.
I'm actually surprised she's here instead of her home.
I guess I should go find out what's up.
I'm not in a rush to care.

I'm not as Dickish as I'd like to be

Long night at The Dive. Crackstop on the way home. Kid asked me if I had a clotheshanger, he'd locked his keys in his 70 something Ford. I didn't. Kid was 20something at least, you know my eyesight is going as well as my ability to judge. His lights were on, I felt bad. Came home, told Annie "If I'm not back in 10 minutes, I was last seen at the crackstop." I got a clotheshanger and went back. He was gone. Glad he got that all worked out.
Night bartender wanted to throw some darts when he showed up. I think he let me win, but I'll take it since he cleaned the floor with me last time. We sat and chatted for awhile after, he dishes more than the girls do. Found out things I probably didn't need to know, but it makes other people make more sense.
Right now I'm scratching something running up the left side of my back that's about to be on my last nerve.
Popped the button on my pants after lunch today, yet another Yeeha to add to the day. I need to remember that's in the pocket so I can sew it back on. I like those pants when I can get my fat ass in them.
I know I'm all over the place. Mom got results on her tests that said NO LYMPHOMA, that's good. There's other shit that she's never heard about before so I don't know if it's the new Oncologist or what. We'll talk more about that later.

I hate happiness

I'm gaining weight. It might have something to do with the fact that I'm eating dinner instead of drinking it every night. Thanks New Owners, I actually like my job these days. I dedicate these new 10 lbs to you. Now I need a raise to buy new pants fuckers.
I'll be sure to put this in memo form and give it to them tomorrow NOT.
It's nice to not hate getting up in the mornings. Well, I still hate mornings, but I don't hate the job anymore. Speaking of which I should take my ass to bed so I'll be bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow, all the boys will be here.

P.S.
Mom giggled while telling Lucy about me being called Sir yesterday. That made me laugh.

Well, it was Monday

I woke up this morning and almost called my Mom to tell her I couldn't go with her because my stomach had that pain that says "I really need to throw up." Apparently either the pizza at The Dive yesterday, or the plague ridden bartender who'd been home all week with her family, didn't agree with me. I managed to get over it and show up early to meet Mom so she was happy. I still wasn't so sure.
After what she said was a longer than usual wait in the lobby, we got to a room where she got happy drugs while waiting for the test. It was about 10 degrees in there. They gave her a heating pad and a blanket, I was glad she'd told me to bring a coat. I had to leave once due to intestinal distress and the need for some nicotine, we made it ok. I only told her about the nicotine.
Finally, they get her on the bed with the magic ring that looks at her innards for something unusual. I broke out in a sweat in the room that was -2 degrees with my coat on, because now I had to talk to her. I'm not a chatty person. Mom is claustrophobic, you can see where this is going.
It started out ok, her head was way on this side of the tunnel, I talked about a little bit of everything as she was inched slowly into the gaping maw. She just lay there with her eyes closed because she's not supposed to talk, occasionally I saw her smile so I was doing ok. After an hour, I'm running out of material and her head is inside The Beast. Shit, shit shit. I whispered a bit, read a couple of pages because I really had nothing left. Half hour later she's out and ok. Apparently I performed well for a first timer and she thinks she just couldn't hear me when she was in the zone so I may have fucked myself for future tests. We'll see.
She wasn't feeling well, but needed to eat so we did breakfast, an errand, and both headed home. She did give me my new shoes which I put on in the parking lot after I got to work. I got to work at 2:30 where shit awaited me. It was a lovely 2 hours.
I still haven't thrown up, but it would really be welcome about now.
Night kids.

P.S. Oh yeah, Mom told me I need to grow my hair back out. I was Sir-ed twice and almost thrown out of the ladies room at IHOP. Definitely a productive day.

Catching up

I just did some blog reading and finally realized how far behind I am. I suck. Ok, it's not entirely my fault. Since I actually have a job to do again I'm a bit busy during the day, my comic reading is off too so don't feel too bad blogland. Other than tech sites, I'm not using Mr. Internet all that much at all. I pretty much hate the surfing downtime, but being busy at least makes the days go faster.
Now I should take my ass to bed since I'm meeting Mom in the morning and she can smell 2 day old beer on me, don't want her to think I was having a Bud for breakfast.

Not much going on

Work was busy all week with the guys in town.
Extracurricular Thursday paid well so I'm really happy about that.
Saw Ms. Sweet Friday, she's back in town for awhile thankfully.
Lucy came over yesterday, her friend from out of town finally left, we hung out at The Dive with some other friends till pretty late last night. (Anything after 9 is late these days, we're such party animals WOOHOO!)
Today was pure laziness. I went to The Dive this afternoon to read for a bit (where I could smoke and drink while doing so) and had a pizza for dinner.
Home, thinking about ironing, but don't want to. Just called Mom to tell her I will be there tomorrow for her Pet scan. I think she's just inflicting that on me since I haven't been for one yet. Told her I'd pick up some Dr. Seuss and read to her since she can't talk.
Finishing up a book while I wait for Cold Case to come on, and I'll probably go to bed early yet again. Its unprecedented.
Tomorrow starts it all over again.
Hope ya'll had a good weekend. I should have a good story tomorrow after my time with Mom.

I'm getting a new computer instead of a raise

I'm fine with that. I was worried about having a job frankly, so BIG sigh of relief around here. It's a whole new world, and I like it.

I did some freelance work this afternoon for the friend whose boss pays well. We think boss will be happy so that makes me happy.

I just had Mexican cornbread, fried potatoes, green beans and sliced tomatoes for dinner. Yes, after 9:00. I'll hate myself in the morning, right now I'm feeling fat and happy.

New guy wasn't at my crackstop tonight, old guy had my smokes. That made me really happy. I think Handsome and I will go smoke and I'll take my ass to bed.
Night kids.

Well, I never

I went over to see The Princess yesterday (at his workplace, where his Dad was) to fix some shit on his computer since he fucked it up royally. I said Hello to the Sr. Princess and wished him a good night and all that.
The Princess came in today and said his dad thinks I dye my hair.
According to him, no one my age has hair that dark without gray in it. I took umbrage since here are pictures from last weekend when I was bitching about my blondness and bald spot. When I go gray I'll just do it. My head is fucked up enough without putting chemicals on it, geeeze.




In other news, new guy at the Crackstop is up to 3 strikes. No sense of humor, looking down my shirt, and let me run out of smokes. It was gradual, but smokes killed the deal, He's gotta go.
Gonna go comb my hair and go to bed. Night kids.

It's all in the details

Hung out with the roofers yesterday morning. Ok, I ironed while they roofed. It worked out, we both got things done, but I got to watch The American President for the 500th time so I'm better off. Annie came home to meet the Insurance Adjuster about some leakage inside the house which left me, 3 dogs, and my stupid lesbian movie on tv going "Oh Shit." I finally realized I could just turn off tv before he saw something he shouldn't and kept the dogs corralled in the kitchen until everything was done. Annie missed my drama so even better.
Since she was home, roof was done and everybody was gone, we dropped off Jeep to get some repairs. My savings account hates me but my clutch is much happier and Jeep got to come home last night so all is well.
Today was busy as shit and The Princess was calling because he did something stupid and his computer at work was bug-ridden. I was stupid at the time and told him I'd show up after work and fix it. I did, but it took me way too long. Met Annie at friday's since Favorite Bartender was working and then home to watch tv and finish book. Now I'm a tired bitch. I believe I'll go to bed before midnight for a change.

I love this bar, I mean comic

Pretty much sums him up.

What a Gimmick

Invite your friends over for dinner and have them help you clean your house. Wish I'd thought of it.
I kid. I love the guy, and we've done this since he first bought the house. He wants to cook, we go over early and help him get ready. I was gonna call him today to see if he needed help before dinnertime but I got a text first asking if Annie and I would come over early and fold some clothes. We did, apparently everything he owned needed putting away. I told him dinner was worth folding his drawers for since he is a great cook.
Annie dropped a few bucks playing poker while I hung out and played bartender for a room full of them. It was a good time.

I need to iron, but I'm staying home in the morning for the roofers, they need to fix the building out back, they had to leave to watch the football game yesterday. Don't mess with some redneck boys and their SEC team.

I think I'll just chill for a bit and get some rest tonight. Wii boxing has pretty much kicked my ass again, my back is a bit sore.

Springsteen

Cross My Heart

New Roof = Insanity

Annie stayed home today because we were getting a new roof. The dogs don't take well to strangers. I think she needs some chill pills, she's on my last fucking nerve, the dogs are ok.
She has suddenly become all about home improvement, I'm fine with that, but shit, it won't happen today or tomorrow and ......I give up.
Off to box some more. Maybe I'll win both tonight since 2 bouts is about all I'm good for.

What a difference a day makes

Lucy isn't pleased with me for whatever reason. Late afternoon at work everyone was screaming my name (and not in a good way) that cured me of ever wanting a harem. Can't please one woman what the hell would you want with more?
Annie came to The Dive to meet me and The Princess for dinner since it was steak night and she wasn't terribly pleasant either. I believe she got a few "go home's" and "fuck you's" before she finally did leave. At least she did apologize once I got home, but shit.
I'm off to the beat the shit out of somone at Wii boxing and take my tired ass to bed.
Later kids.

Careful what you wished for

This might be long, I'm not sure yet. It's been in my head a few days and today just cemented it. You were warned, I'm not responsible for weak bladders from this point on.

I'd have given anything to be popular when I was a teen. Unfortunately I was
1) A bookworm
2) Got good grades
3) In BAND
4) The only girl playing the trombone in said band.
5) My family was middle class at best.

I was a wallflower when I was anything, I didn't really attend school functions back then either unless I had to. But oh, I wanted to be a cheerleader (without having to actually cheer and call attention to myself.) Teens are fucking stupid.

The point is, apparently now I'm a cool kid. Everyone wants to hang out with me. I seem to amuse the masses (or a small group anyway) when I'm out and about because I can now speak and share my smart-ass comments. This is where the post from a few days ago came from. I was cracking up some people, I guess I've wasted all that angst.
Tonight one of The Dive's regulars came over to my table (way in the back of the bar) to ask me to play trivia since there is some sort of tournament going on and they rank bar by number of players and score. He knew my name.
The man has said hello to me a couple of times, maybe, but never anything more. He noticed I was decent at trivia (kicked his ass a few times when I actually played.) So I agreed, moved to the bar.......and geeked out with him and his friend. It was fun. I also bonded with the bartender who I thought hated me, she just saw me as a beer I guess. We chatted and everything is good.
I guess I should get over the "I Vant To Be Alone" bullshit and just have a good time while I can. The eyes are going, brain might be next.
Mom will be so proud.

Now I remember why. This was last Friday's post I couldn't bring myself to put up because I just don't know.
We were at The Dive, yeah it's Friday. Ms Sweet picked up my tab because she does shit like that when I keep her dogs. The Princess apparently picked up the next one because he knows I'm mad at him or something.
Lucy got one cuz she had food on it. I still don't know what's wrong with these people.
I cashed out at 8 dollars.
I keep hearing I'm a nice person and everyone loves me. I don't fucking think so.

Another Decision

I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm loving The Good Wife. Look for it to get cancelled since I'm the kiss of death for new tv.

I also like my hair this short. GASP! I know, but I can deal with it. It makes me more likely to be called Ken, but oh fucking well, that was happening anyway. At least as Ken I know I'm not supposed to be anatomically correct so I'm good with it.

Off to finish Lisa Gardner's 'The Survivors Club' and put my ass to bed. Sleep and I are having issues again.

A Decision Made

Yep, I hate the time change.
Time is not my friend anyway because I'd rather keep odd hours, but this...it's messing with me. I should have been asleep an hour ago since it's a school night, but no, I'm wide awake. That's not a good thing when it comes to my well-being.
Ya'll know I take care of my body, so it's stupid for me to still be awake at this hour.
Ok, I take care of parts of my body on an intermittent basis that you don't really want to hear about (shower massage) so nevermind.
Since you've now seen me somewhat dancing, I think I'll leave your scarred brains and actually go to bed (or something).
Night kids.

Shhh, wasn't supposed to do this

Thankfully Annie doesn't read my blog.


Thriller
Yes, I actually did.

Halloween weekend

We had fun. Lucy and I didn't win the costume contest, but it was ok. Today was pretty worthless. Lucy went home, Annie was working in the yard. I went to The Dive to meet The Dirty Old Man, he'd been to the gulf and brought back fresh seafood.
Annie and I had grilled grouper with baked potato and corn for dinner. Not too shabby.
Now I'm watching Cold Case and trying to talk myself into ironing so I'll have more options for things to wear tomorrow. I think I might just have to settle. I'm not sure how I feel about the time change yet other than tired. Thnk I'll finish up this and take my ass to bed. Later kids.

Funny to me

I thought I wrote better than I talked. Hence this place. I seem to be fucking hilarious in real life but only a sad sack here. I guess I should adjust.
I'm blaming it on Lucy. I learned to talk.

All Dressed Up and Not Even A Ho

We dressed up for Friday's Halloween night since Cabana Boy was supposed to be working his last shift before leaving the state. Fucker didn't work. Nobody bothered to tell us he wouldn't be there. We had fun anyway. I'm looking to re-stock the stable since there's no way in hell I could sell Lucy tonight.



She also can't hold a camera for shit, but there you go, old age trembles I guess.

I'm such a Hypocrite

I didn't realize until tonight I'm that way.
I've been trying to save a friend from being a dumbass and fucking up his life or possibly dying from it.
He's been away from me for 6 years and survived.
He's right, He's grown and can make his own decisions and it's stupid for me to worry about him.
He's not out of control, if he does anything it's at home, and he knows where it came from so he's ok with it.
Damn.
I realize there are people here and there who worry about me for the same reasons.
I drink, I rarely drive drunk, I rarely drink to stupidity unless I'm home, I don't plan to drink for the rest of my life, but it helps now.
He takes a handful of drugs every day to get through life, I drink to take the edge off. I think I'll be ok, and when I'm not, something will get done.
But yeah, look through someone Else's eyes for a minute. It'll open yours.

We've had way too much rain

This was next to a dog's food bowl when I went out to smoke. I gave it a beer can.

Instant Slug Crackhouse.

I'm French?

I stopped for smokes. New guy. He asked if I was French........I told him no. "Many French women have very short hair." WTF? I don't like new guy.

Before all that, I went to The Dive where I read a few pages before Annie showed up, so I threw darts until Soul Friend showed up. Then he and I threw darts. Annie left before the showdown was over.

I got drunk. Soul Friend and I were talking. He slept with waaaay more people than I did back in the day so I'm all good. He was such a slut. Stalker showed up about the time I told him yes I did, but thankfully, she went away after that.

I'm home and about to put my ass to bed because rumpleminz kicked my ass. I hate that shit.

Careful what you bitch about

So I needed a haircut. I got one yesterday. I'm not complaining because she did exactly what I asked and I like it. It's just that I don't think the back of my neck has seen daylight since somewhere around 1973. It's a bit chilly back there. Couple of weeks I'll have that back, but it's different.
Lucy and I went to see Dad last night. He built a fire and we cooked dogs and s'mores, it was excellent, and we got quality time with him which made it even better. He's got a beard (which looks good) and the most sweet, beautiful kitty, who's tempting me to change my no cat policy. I'm still thinking.
We also have an invite to house-sit next weekend while he's off looking at leaves. I think that may be a done deal. Beautiful house on the river? Hell yeahs. I told Lucy we can't tell the kids, they'll want to tag along.

We went my Mom's this afternoon and got a Spawn fix on the way home. He's all about playing football right now so I will be sore tomorrow but we had fun. Home, beat Annie's ass at a few games of darts and looking at a pile of ironing because a boss will be here for awhile and I have exactly nothing to wear. Come on Cold Case, that makes it easier.
Off to take care of business and put my ass to bed.
Night kids.

I need a haircut

I'm out of good mousse and it was windy today. I look like an 80's super
model. Those shorts chafed.

Lucy didn't kill my stalker when she saw her at The Dive so I think I'm good at the moment.
I believe I'll go to bed while I have the chance.
Night kids.

Tornaders are a comin

It's been cold here lately. Seriously, people other than me have been cold. Tonight it's rather balmy, windy, and just starting to rain. Shit. I wasted being irresponsible this morning because it was cool and bed felt good. Tomorrow I might have an excuse.

I need to be doing shit, but I just really don't want to. That's not good. Of course if we get blown away I'll be happy I didn't waste the time now won't I?

Annie, The Princess, My Brother (who really isn't) and I threw some darts tonight. They won overall, but Annie and I kicked their asses 2 games before they got it together. It was fun.
The Stalker showed up, The Princess and Annie both noticed and offered to babysit me until I was ready to leave, it was ok. I just wanted to finish my fucking book and would have cussed her out if she interrupted so all was good. I got home unscathed.

I'm making cornbread because I'm not sure why, but hey, we can have that with something tomorrow right?

Night kids.

Early Halloween? and yes I am a Bitch

I got a pic message while throwing darts with Annie. The beauty in the white dress is my nephew. I laughed, he was having a play date with his BFF and she wanted to play dress up. Good for them.


I'm a bitch because for a few months the kids next door have been kicking their soccer balls, dodge balls, basketballs, whatever over here and I've been throwing back a couple a day. Over the weekend I told Annie, I'm putting them in a trash bag and they can come ask for them or grow a set and come get them themselves.
Yesterday I kicked 2 under a chair in the yard. I got home tonight and Annie told me to go look in the yard. I was afraid Betty had shredded her new dog bed all over it. Nope. 6 balls awaited me. They went in a bag, slugs and all.
We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Finding out the hard way

My favorite shoes have been sitting outside for three days waiting for the dogpile I stepped in to solidify. I wanted to just knock it off like you do old dirt. Apparently dog shit has dental adhesive built in and I'm going to have go go buy new shoes. Or hose those down with a pressure washer and think seriously about putting them on my feet again. New shoes it is.

I've got to find a dentist. I hate them even more than doctors, so that should tell you something.
I have a golf ball on my jawbone, directly below that tooth I've been not wanting to have looked at forever. Lucy informed me that can go straight to your heart, after I told her I didn't have one we had a bit of a discussion, but that's for another time.

I see my sense of humor, whimsy, whatever it was I once had seems to be missing these days, it must be encompassed in that golf ball. I don't know where else to look for it since I have a non-existent heart no matter what Lucy says.

It's midnight so I must take my ass to bed since I have to actually work tomorrow after being late today to get tired and noone had any. Who knew regular tires were so hard to come by? That pissed me off so I skipped the haircut I also had planned and went to work because really? If it was gonna be that kind of day, why not.
Night kids.

Books, and Brothers, and Stalkers, Oh My

I had the full gamut tonight.

It was close to 7 and I was finishing up a chapter and a beer to come home, and my brother (who really isn't) showed up wanting to throw darts. I had none, mine are probably in Annie's car, I'm not sure at this point. He gave me his spares and we started a game while the people he invited to play with us finished food. They sucked, his darts, not the people. I picked up the house darts too late to win the game, but threw better with them.

K and A finished eating and we threw a few games. I hit 5 bulls with house darts, yay me.
Bro and I won all the games, but at least it was fun. K was giving me shit, and A was just hot in the tight little dress, but that's another story.

My stalker cornered me (literally) because I always sit back there. Bro left me (coward) and she asked me to talk to her. Jesus Christ on a cracker.
I bought more beers, played music, and sat down with her.

I feel sorry for her because nobody likes her. I liked her back in the day because I thought she was just sad rather than totally fucking nuts. She's the latter, but I'm apparently a nice person.
I played therapist for an hour while she cried, and explained that maybe she really needed a good therapist, and maybe a new bar.......and Annie started calling and texting because I'm never out at 9pm so I escaped.

I guess I should call Lucy before she reads this since she's been threatening to kick Stalker's ass. That would be amusing to watch, but I don't want to see it in my home away from home so....

Already told Annie I'll be late to work tomorrow since Jeep needs tires and I can't keep putting that off. Or I may be at an Emergency Dentist since there's something majorly wrong that she doesn't need to know about. Ya'll get all my secrets.
Night kids.

It's Sunday Again

After sleeping in, getting rid of Lucy and checking on Ms. Sweet's dogs.....it was 3pm. I thought about going to work, but since there was an impending dinner date, I didn't really have time to do a whole lot.
I sent The Princess a text asking if he was ready to pick up his car, he was, we did that. I hung at The Dive for an hour to read, and then home to get Annie dressed to go out. We expected 20 or so people, 8 showed, that was even better. We got home way earlier than expected.
I'm now burping sake (because really? 2 kettles, only 6 peeps drinking it? Way too much)and have enough food left over for a couple of meals. It was good, but still.
I'm going to go read some more since Cold Case is late because of fucking football.
Later kids.

A Day with The Princess

Annie didn't notice her special candle. Her head really is stopped up.

Actually it wasn't a day with him, he was out while we worked and acted all responsible while he didn't. We showed up late for the demise of his responsibleness and it started early with the Renuzit from the Men's room. I didn't know they even still made those things.

I'm now tired, waiting for my cheesecake and then taking my ass to bed.

What the Hell?

I'm watching Medium. What the hell did they do to Joe's head? I know Allyson changes hairstyles, but holy shit batman, this is just wrong.
I'm home extra early since the band was at The Dive, Annie has gone off to play with The Princess and Lucy is shopping. I've got to call Mom and tell her I won't be there tomorrow since I have to work, but it'll have to wait until I'm done with TV for the night. I may be back later.

I had stuff to say, I got over it

I just watched Wanda Sykes on HBO. I realized I haven't laughed out loud in months. I think I just used up my allotment.

I Hate It When That Happens

Something else (among a plethora of things) Flash did came back to bite us in the ass today. The new guys like him as much as I did and they never met him. I'm just pissed there's noone left I can say "I told you so" to. Fuckers.

Waiting for the other shoe..

Things are too good. It scares me.
The Boss that isn't usually here is here, and I did something for him today that got me a phone call saying "Good job, and I'm impressed".
Excellent paycheck from a freelance job.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I'm so used to being a whipped puppy that I don't know what to do with praise. I think I could pee off the paper and get a pat on the head right now.
There must be a storm a coming. I refuse to be an Optimist dammit.
But there is hope.

I seem to be selling myself short

Friend and I haggled over price last night as far as what I was charging for services rendered. He talked me up from my original offer actually. I finally just said "Fine, that'll work, I should have fixed it in 10 minutes instead of an hour, so that's good." I met him at The Dive this afternoon, he handed me a folded check, I put it in my pocket. He says "Boss wasn't happy with your quote so he did that", and pointed to my pocket.
I looked at the check....It was more than triple what was agreed upon.
"And there's more where that came from".
I guess I should freelance more often.

This has been an odd day

It started out as typical Monday, shit needed to be done, shit was messed up, I got shit fixed, then downtime. That's odd. Ok, then we started all over again, and bosses got here, and then downtime. It pretty much went like that all day.

I ran out the door at 4:30 to help a friend with his supervisor's computer, met him at their place of business, messed around with stuff, thought I had it, told him it needed to be checked from outside the place so we headed out to go to The Dive for a test drive. We were trapped in the building.
It was probably the chickens in the parking lot. (I'm not lying, chickens were wandering around.) I just laughed. We spent a few minutes trying to break out before wandering around to find another exit, right into a pond since it's rained so much lately. Just happy to escape, that place would make a great haunted house.

Get to The Dive and of course it's still not working. Mess around some more, he's logged in from his computer, I'm messing with boss computer, finally we get there. YAY! I had free beers and a shot of tequila I didn't ask for, and a check to pick up tomorrow. Also an offer of other freelance work. Yay me.

Friend went out to call boss to set up a place to give him laptop back when my stalker came over to talk to me. She's been around but hasn't bothered me until today. I really wasn't thinking of her as a stalker anymore until she mentioned it. She said she's called me several times and the bartenders probably thought she was stalking me..........I told her I only knew of her calling me there once. She said "Oh no, I called several times, they said you weren't here."
Blink, Blink.
(I'll be sure to tip everyone extra better this week for that, I never knew.)
She left when friend came back and we started talking about payment for my services, heh.

I came home, ate dinner and my mom calls. She never calls me.......she said it was her turn since I called her last. I think I may have OD'ed on fried chicken, she really said that.
We talked for over an hour and she told me I needed to make a date with Dad if I plan to go gambling with him because I won't do it unless I set it. "Fine Mom, I'll tell him something."
I get off the phone, there's an e-mail from Dad. SHIT. We haven't really talked or e-mailed lately so that was pretty out of the blue. I took Mom's advice, set a date to go somewhere with him, we'll see if it's in his schedule. Right now, I think it just might be.
Now I'm going to call Lucy and then take my ass to bed, I don't think I can handle too many odd days.
Night kids.

I think Lucy had a decent birthday

It's today (Happy Birthday Lucy!) but we set her up for yesterday. I got her up at 8 a.m. telling her The Princess wanted to go to breakfast, and of course for once she showered and put on makeup when she usually just gets dressed and is ready to go. I showered and got dressed also since I usually do because it's hard to do anything with my troll doll head in the mornings and she would have been suspicious if I didn't.
So, everything is finally in place, The Princess is in the driveway, I help her into the car (small car, sloping driveway, nothing unusual) then I close the door and wave goodbye as he pulls away. She's yelling at me as they go down the street "Don't leave me alone with him and Madonna!"
She called me a few minutes later, crying, after he told her they were going to get their hair "did" and he was paying for it.
We met up later for lunch and had a good time.
She got voicemail from my mom and stepdad, he sang to her (he's never sung to me) and again from The Spawn (who has also never sung to me) so she's happy. I need to find my sleep mode now. Night kids.

That's dedication

Storms blew through this afternoon. Ugly ones by the look of it. I rode to work with Annie today so I was at her mercy when she decided we were going straight to The Dive instead of stopping at home. I was a nervous wreck in need of a beer by the time I got there, but that's another story.
The story today is we drove a few miles out of the way to find an open gas station since Annie's light was on, because power was out all along the strip. No problem, I survived.
The Dive didn't have power when we got there either. Since we were waiting for Lucy to pick The Princess up and meet us there, we hung out in the dark with the other regulars and drank beer. They finally showed up and about an hour later there was light. It was different. I'm now safely at home and heading to bed soon since Lucy has to be up early tomorrow to get her hair done and she doesn't know it. Birthday present from The Princess, Me and Annie. She'll be so thrilled when I throw her outta bed and into his car. Hee Hee Hee.
Later kids.

My phone is on fire

Should be anyway. I just hung up from a long conversation with Mom. I've been a bad girl and haven't checked in lately. Good is good, bad is surmountable, no Thanksgiving dinner this year, X-mess is a snack day, yadda yadda yadda. She's writing a book......I should check in more often.

I now need to call Lucy and get her to spill the beans on the things Mom told on her. THEN I will take my ass to bed because the non flu is wearing my ass out.
Night kids.

The Plague is loosening it's hold

I'm still not normal, but well, that's a relative term anyway isn't it? I feel better.
Annie grocery shopped while I book shopped and stopped at The Dive for a bit this afternoon. I grilled pork chops for dinner with some green beans and probably the last fresh tomatoes of the season. Pretty decent.
The kitchen is still clean, I was just impressed Annie cleaned up after herself last night so I thought I might be dying or something. Hopefully this isn't the calm before the storm.
I've now had too many sour jelly pumpkins on top of dinner and must go sleep.
Night kids.

I must be sicker than I thought

I walked into a clean kitchen a few minutes ago. Holy Shit!

Proof my state has more idiots than yours

Woman charged for having child ride in box atop van

My favorite comments...
"The box was too big to go inside the van, and she would be able to hold it down if she was inside the box," Smith said the woman told police.
When asked about the child's safety, Smith said Knott told the officers that she had the box secured to the van with a clothes hanger.

Don't you know she was just all proud of herself for using that clothes hanger? What? No Duct Tape?

Complete link here.

I'm exempting Tn since there was a bomb threat at a courthouse there this morning and Lucy was bitching she'd have to walk to her bank because of the streets being cordoned off. I asked her "They will let you bank right next to the courthouse with a possible bomb in there?" Her answer was "Yes, I called, the tellers are in there, you just have to walk in since you can't drive." I think I give up.

Handy, or not

After an hour of cussing, contorting and dizziness I got my brake light switch replaced. Still no lights. Only then did I notice a couple of things unplugged that probably should be plugged so off to the parts store I go for help, or at least a maintenance manual since I couldn't find a damned wiring diagram online. An hour later I still have no brake lights and unfortunately no sense of humor because when I went out to see Lucy and Annie looking around I didn't think to take a picture. Coming up from the back I see Annie's socks hanging over the driver's seat where she's upside down, and Lucy's ass hanging out the driver's side door. It was funny later tho. I think I'll re-look at things tomorrow. Annie has passed along the plague and my head and throat are killing me.
Off to check on Ms. Sweet's dogs and come home for a nap. Later kids.

Pestilence

Apparently Annie has shared it. I will be burning her later.

Two Thursdays in a row...

I thought yesterday was today, it's made for a long week. Things are stupid and I have a mammoth headache yet again, not fun.
I'm slipping on blog reading lately because damn, I just don't have all that free time at work anymore. Every time I think I'm good, nope, no more. So I'll try to catch up this weekend.
Stupid Fired Asshole is still a problem. I think he's trying to get a restraining order because he showed up at work again today after being told HELL NO. Of course he is such a dumb asshole he probably just enjoys harassing us. I dunno, I just hide from his ass when he shows up because I refuse to have a conversation with him so he can turn it around and make me look bad. Been there, done that.
I made Lucy tell Mom we were staying home this weekend so I can work on the Jeep (because I'm a big 'ol pussy, and have a bit of a short fuse right now). I need to make some time for Dad, I haven't even gotten e-mail from him lately so I need to catch up.
I think that's pretty much it. I'm tired and have a busy Friday planned already.
Night kids.

Mechanical Matters

The Bosses kept me late today, which isn't a problem except I had plans that didn't include reading at The Dive. By the time I got home I wasn't really in the mood for any of it, but I made an effort.
There will be much bitching and screaming this weekend since I unequivocally decided the fact that I have no brake lights is related to the (I'm not even sure why) Brake Light Switch. A switch that laughs joyously at the thought of me standing on my head to change it. Bastard.
I already see Jeep carpet and seat lying around the yard while I cuss and bleed.
Yes, I know a good mechanic, but he's in Bumfuct, Egypt and I'd be without a ride for a day or two at least before he could get to it and I refuse to pay some other idiot to stand on their head for me. I can save much money by being the idiot standing on her head. It's only gonna get worse people, I can drag out a whine.
I'm off to mumble in my sleep about idiots and parts and whatnot because I really need to get to work early tomorrow also. Dammit.

Gonna have to get one

Are you tired of your boring old Ice Luge? Planning a racy bachelor party and need an exciting way to chug your alcohol? Then you need this fabulous Boob Ice Luge! Just fill the breast mold with water, and in two days, you will have two rock hard boobs waiting to be filled with an alcoholic beverage of your choice!

Link is here.

Music and more

We all made it to the music fest today, found a great place to park and a great place to plant our asses. Easy access to beer and potties so I was happy. Good music, we started with Zydeco, can't go wrong with that. Jason D. Williams is nuts, in a good way when it comes to music. Paul Thorn kicks ass.
Annie tried to get us thrown out by putting vodka in her lemonade 3 feet from a cop, but other than that, we were pretty good. We left Lucy to see Huey Lewis while we checked out Akon. Too many kids over there so we went back to Lucy and saw some Huey before packing it in for the night.
I'm full of Philly cheese steak and Greek salad and Lucy just called to tell me she's home so I think I'll take my ass to bed.
Night kids.

Lucy's a Convict

We went to the music festival tonight and her Dove bar got confiscated, no food allowed from outside. I had to listen to that shit all night long. She was most upset that the night before she and Annie went and there was $20 worth of liquor in a paper bag inside the bag she got searched and she didn't know it at the time and they didn't take it. But Lord help us if we try to take a candy bar in, I told her she should have put it in a paper bag next to the tampons.
Annie stayed home tonight so we sold her ticket and ate dinner, I don't think we'll tell her. It was a good time.

I think I made the right decision

I could have gone to see War and The Black Crowes, but I came home instead. Alone time is nice.
I'm tired, my head has been killing me all afternoon and Mother Nature showing up unannounced and uninvited and apparently trying to kill me pretty much finished me off for the day. I sent the girls off by themselves and it sounds like Lucy is ready to kill Annie, so yeah. I'm all good here.
The Handsome Devil is not farting for once, I have my belly full of leftovers and beer. I might just hit the couch with some DVD's and bliss out.
Actually that sounds really good.

Of course it would help if the bitches would quit calling me.......Damn. I didn't sign on to be a den mother.

This is where I've been

Wednesday
I've been trying to stay away from blogging about work for various reasons, but shit ya'll. It's more stupid than I ever could have believed it could get.
The new owners are making changes (of course) and one of those changes was getting rid of the piece of shit family member we've been burdened with for years because he's worthless and can't function in the real world (and I should probably stop there, but oh hell no). He got shit-canned last Tuesday, he's been calling everyone in the place, including me, his biggest non-fan multiple times every. fucking. day. He got one of our customers to foot a bill for him to leave the state for a bit, while he still called every. fucking. day. Today, he was back in town and called someone to say he was stopping by to pick up shit that he thinks is his but isn't, and I guess I will stop there. Ok, he called me again not long after he left and actually left a message this time, he wants help with a laptop. I'll help his laptop with a foot to the groin.......so there we go.
I know it's not over, but besides being fucking annoying, it's stressful and getting a bit scary.
He showed up again today (Thursday) and I ran out to lunch and such to avoid him. It's ridiculous.

A Made-Up Word

The Dirty Old Man called me this afternoon to see when I was going to be at The Dive because I had a Mystery Guest waiting for me. Someone we both knew and haven't seen in awhile was asking about me.....blah, blah, blah, Dirty Old Man speak, he was enjoying not telling me who it was. I had an idea, but didn't get my hopes up.
It was my Soul Friend. There's your made-up word. I don't know what it is about him, but he always makes me smile, and it seems to go both ways. We know each other completely and I've missed him terribly. I'm glad he's back around.

Maybe that explains that

The last couple of nights I've had really weird dreams (I know) where Spawn was a Spawnette. I wondered today if maybe there was something going on regarding his sexuality.....yeah, I know, deep shit to put on something stupid like that. I got a text this afternoon. The Grandson and wife are knocked up, which I knew but haven't said anything about, and it's a Spawnette, so there we go. I'm sure Grandson is crushed because he wanted a boy but Wife and Munchkin are happy so it's all good. Damn, I'll be a Great-Aunt again. Also had a moment of "Shit, Stepmom would love this." Haven't heard from Dad but I'm sure he got the news too. I'll see what he's doing next weekend so I can make a trip out there. I haven't heard much from him lately either which is worrisome.
I'm going to let Wii tell me I'm fat and lazy before I eat some ice cream and go to bed.
Night kids.

Dumb and stuff

I was worried about misspelling apocalypse last night and misspelled 'is' instead, go me.
I came home and mowed the yard (ok, half the yard) this afternoon because really? It's the first time in three weeks I've seen that yellow ball in the sky and it wasn't raining or just poured before I got off work. It was way too wet, but had to be done, I was losing dogs out there. I grilled burgers since Annie mentioned that in the text along with yard mowing. I figured I'd at least start the yard since I made her go to the store so it worked out. I was a bit less grouchy by the time I sweated a quart.
I think I'm liking The Good Wife. I'll let you know for sure next week.
Ok, I need a shower and bed. Night kids.

The Apocalypse is happening in my backyard

I had been in the back yard yesterday, see dog bathing for that, when I came back after a couple of hours at The Dive there was a giant tree limb lying in the yard that hadn't been there before. Really, I checked with Annie and she confirmed it. The pecan tree is falling apart. It's still there since it's wet and nasty out there and dark, and Annie and I are both pretty much lazy bitches so... I took The Handsome Devil out to smoke tonight and noticed a spider the size of my head, building a web the size of New York.
Ok, I exaggerate a bit, but it starts on a limb I can't reach, and touches the ground, and the spider was large enough for me to see from 10 feet away and I'm blind. I went over to tell her she should have built closer to the deck where the light was, but she was adamant that she preferred the less travelled areas, she'd catch tourists on the way to The Hamptons.
I think I'll be stopping smoking, and going outside, and start boarding up my windows.
Night kids.

Dear Dumbass,

What part of "You are fired" did you not understand? Those 3 words mean I don't have to be your personal geek anymore so QUIT FUCKING CALLING ME!
K thnx bye.

Lazy

I didn't make it to work yesterday. I did grocery shop, run some errands, hit the bookstore and The Dive for a bit and come home to cook dinner. Mrs. Asshole called when I was on my way home wanting me to meet her for a drink, told her no, I was going home, all done, thanks anyway. Then I walk in the door and Lucy is all dressed up, face on, the whole 9 yards. I threw her my phone and told her to call Mrs. Asshole back while I seasoned the steaks for dinner because we were going out for a bit. I couldn't let that effort go to waste now could I? We met The Assholes and Company at the new place they like to hang, I had a couple of beers and then home for dinner which was excellent.
Today Annie and I gave dogs a bath. Handsome actually got 2 since he ran out into the yard and started rubbing in the mud as soon as his first one was done. Fucker.
I cooked mexican cornbread, purple hull peas, turnip greens and kraut and weiners for dinner. I had home canned kraut from Annie's mom and frozen beans and greens from Dad so yes, I was in hog heaven. I ironed enough to wear tomorrow and pretty much gave up for the night. Later kids.

Slap upside the head

Lucy and I were listening to an oldies radio station that plays obscure oldies and this song came on while we were Wii bowling. I said I hadn't heard it in forever and I missed Middle Sis because she would remember that, we used to sing along with it in the kitchen. I told Lucy that's what I miss about her most, she would remember that, she was only 3 yrs younger, Babysis doesn't remember anything. For some reason that just set me off, I've missed her for 20 years but I don't think I've really thought about what could have been, she and I could be sitting here singing along and laughing about our childhood if she was still around. It sucks.
Last weekend with Babysis was good, and I'll make sure we do that more often, but damn.
Ok, Pity Party is over. Later kids.

Too Much Information

Lucy and I have had a long conversation that isn't pretty, and won't get any better. I've thrown up in my mouth a couple of times already.
Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil is on, mood appropriate.
I think I'm finally drunk. I've been trying since Monday. Now I just have to get my ass up to work tomorrow. Good luck to me.
Night kids.

It's Thursday right?

I remembered about 9:30 this morning that I needed to wish Babysis Happy Birthday. Since I got voicemail I actually sang for her, she better appreciate that shit. I don't just give that away to anyone.
Annie and I got drunk for charity last night. Ok, she got drunk, I just got irritated because the people next to me were assholes, but I did get to see a lot of my favorite people so it was ok.
Annie is now the proud owner of 2 tickets for a pay per view boxing match at our fancy ass theatre and a round of drinks. I have no idea who she'll take cuz even a free beer and a comfy recliner isn't getting my ass there, but it was for Make A Wish so that's ok too.
I've been extraordinarily busy lately which is good, but also bad since my lazy ass has burned most of my braincells, so I'm kinda catching up.
I've been all into hermit mode outside of work so maybe that shell is cracking again, we'll see. Her Majesty will be happy to hear Lucy will be here tomorrow, maybe she'll liven things up.
I need to sleep kids, night.

Stupidity R Us

A couple of hours after I got to work I was all "Damn, I don't remember these pants being this tight last week, wtf?" I finally went to pee and discovered it wasn't the pants, I'd gotten a bit overzealous with my belt this morning.
I then proceeded to be excessively busy all day so I was glad I wasn't uncomfortable while I was running my non-existent ass off. Yeah, that's another thing. Since I've had to dress for work I found out my ass fell off somewhere along the line. Oh well, loss of baggage is good right?
I got a text from Favorite Bartender about a contest tomorrow night so I said 'k thanks, then another text from readerinterruptus saying I was sitting next to him for the event and I'm kinda wtf again? Apparently Annie bought seats and didn't tell me. It's for a good cause so I don't mind, I'll pay for the seat and may or may not show up.
I came home to test some remote shit for work only to find out it doesn't work with Vista so I wasted time I could have been actually accomplishing something.
Heart is on VH-1 classics, it'll be alright.
Night kids.

That sucks

He wasn't a great actor, but I watch his movies anyway. Dancing... not Gregory Hines, but ok. I do still crack up over the SNL clip of him and Chris Farley, that was fucking hilarious. He just seemed like a genuinely nice guy who happened to do ok for himself. I hoped he would beat the cancer, I'm sorry he didn't.

Stupidity 101

I needed to work yesterday. I slept until 1 and then had to go to Armpit so Babysis and I could go out. I went to work today......everything was pretty much fucked when I touched it so I gave up. I did win a shitload of virtual money playing Texas Hold 'Em on NTN, probably because I didn't give a shit.
I came home and did much ironing after grilling some burgers and dogs. CSI needs to let me go so I can sleep because I'm pretty sure everyone else will be stupid tomorrow too and that's never a good thing.
I think I'll take Handsome out for a smoke and call it a night. Later kids.

I had a date

Babysis and I went out this evening. She hasn't been out for adult type fun since our Tina experience last November so it was past time. The first place we hit had a private party going on so we couldn't throw darts there. We ate dinner since I hadn't had anything and it was all good, I'll go back. We headed over to another place I'll have to go back to for dinner sometime, it was a bit more formal, but had dart boards upstairs and the menu looked tasty.
Three whole hours later we headed home to find Spawn passed out in a chair. He and Lucy had made brownies for her birthday, but he couldn't wait up until 9 for us poor boy.
I'm home and taking my ass to bed real soon. Later kids.

Earlier Goofy

I was still cleaning when all this went on so enjoy pics of the kids.


The Handsome Devil and Betty don't really like each other so this was a surprise.

I seem to be in a goofy mood

I'm not sure if that's related to sleep deprivation or just stupidity......but I'm going with it.
The highpoint of my evening was meeting my neighbor at the crackstop and he introduced himself since he recognized me from sitting on the porch smoking. His name is Daytric. "I hope his mamma didn't name him based on his conception" (giggling the whole time)is the only thing I could think on the way home. Don't judge me, I told you I'm goofy.
Since I brought up the subject, way back in the day when nobody really expected Babysis to procreate, she said if she had a girl she wanted to name her Shasta. Mom and I both got up in arms about her naming "our" child after a cheap soda. I have since met and talked to a couple of "Shasta's" so maybe she was a trendsetter, who knows?
I've ironed something to wear tomorrow while listening to 80's music and may or may not clean the fridge before I go to bed so I can get to work early again tomorrow.
I also need to re-do my envelope of receipts that says "Jeep Repairz" because I was apparently stupid Sunday also.
Later kids.

I'm not sure if this is better or not

This is my first (and probably last) attempt at butterflying trout.
Syd would be proud since it looks like pussy. I grilled it and it was actually pretty tasty.
I did some housecleaning yesterday and got a phone call from Mrs. Asshole since she had no friends to hang out with, I told her it must be bad if she had to call me. That ended up with me and Annie at The Asshole Residence having dinner and a shitload of tequila. It was fun, but mind-erasing which isn't good. At least today was quiet. I'm off to finish my book since my brother who isn't sidetracked me at The Dive tonight and I had to clean the kitchen and cook when I got home because Annie was pissy and........yeah, it's a long list. Later kids

Annie went fishing

This is what greeted me when I opened the fridge after Annie got home yesterday.

I guess I'm cooking dinner tonight.

I'm a Pack Rat and I'm hating it

I had planned on getting in some work time this weekend, but I don't think so. I got serious about cleaning up my bedroom yesterday because I've been a slacker and shit has piled up (literally). I also threw in a haircut and drinking time with The Princess to round out my day.
Today I caught up with Spawn and family because I haven't really done that lately either, see above about being a slacker. We had fun even though Spawn has started to live up to his nickname, he was hell on wheels today.
I got home and started cleaning again about 6:30. I gave up about 9:30 when I spilled a beer and semi-important shit like Mom's living will and last requests got a tad damp.
I did discover music I'd forgotten about from when I really gave a shit about such things. Maria Mckee was the first one, I listened to her twice while I was going through shit. Chris Whitley was the other, he's playing now. No, not Keith Whitley the country singer, but unfortunately Chris isn't with us anymore either, he died from lung cancer. Maria doesn't seem to be recording anymore either which is a shame, but anyway, it's been an enjoyable evening cleaning up and re-living past times. You wouldn't believe some of the pictures and shit I found too, and I'm not done. Tomorrow brings more.......hopefully Annie will stay gone till late, I'm liking this having the house to myself thing.
I'm going to go sit on the deck and burn shit that's not herbal and listen to music for awhile. Night kids.

I think something may be broken

Annie and I picked up Betty at the vet this afternoon. She was still a bit stoned, the dog, not Annie. She was also very unhappy and didn't want to get out when we got home. Cut to Annie and I trying to drag a mostly limp 100 lbs out of the back of the jeep. She decides not to be so limp. Annie elbowed me in the throat, Betty head butted me in the jaw, and then the 100 lbs pretty much culminated in her big ass paw on my foot. Foot is ok, I'm not so sure about the rest yet.

TGIF a little early

The guys are gone so I can be Peppermint Patty again tomorrow. YAY!
It was steak night at The Dive. I ate too much. I bought The Princess dinner since I missed his birthday Monday so we're all good now.
Annie tried to break my Jeep today, she took Betty to the vet in it since she didn't want her nice ride messed up and apparently Betty kicked it into 4 wheel drive while she was dragging her out. Thankfully no harm done. I'll be going with her to pick Betty up tomorrow.
Watching Ted Kennedy on HBO just because it was on when I came back in from talking to Mom. Actually very interesting stuff. I'm up past my bedtime. Later kids.

I'm A Hottie and Old, Old memories

Me after taking off my "School Clothes". I'm a tired bitch, leave me alone.

I ironed while listening to Wayne Toups. I'd forgotten about him. Get in the WayBack machine, I'll wait. AOL Chatrooms circa 1995, a bunch of us met up in Atlanta. I roomed with the Cajuns. Toups was always playing and I liked it. I'd forgotten about it until tonight. Good music.

I should take my ass to bed since I need to be there early tomorrow. Damn people.

I'm now off to be stupid with Annie and go see our favorite bartender.
Night kids.

Never thought of this

Now what should I get?

Dressing for work...

Since Annie stressed new clothes for the new owners, I put on some nice pants with a shirt that actually worked, real shoes,no sneaks or sandals and took my ass there. Annie sees me and tells me to tuck my shirt in. Dammit, I've never been a tucker, but ok. (The main reason is Annie is probably going to be my supervisor in the end, so I might as well go along.)
At 8:30 I was on a ladder moving some cable because people are moving and no one bothered to tell me (I don't see anything new here so far) so I was a sweaty mess by 9:00. It went downhill from there, so so much for that shit. I'll have backup wardrobe in my office (until they move me to a new one, or out of one period).
I need to go call Babysis to catch up and then take my ass to bed. Night kids.

Obviously I'm slipping......

I used to do this at least once a day.
So same old shit happened Thursday, same old shit happened Friday except I got my boobs run over by a truck.
Saturday was pretty good. I got up early and met The Princess for breakfast, came home took cans to the recycle place, thankfully psycho wasn't working, did some trimming and gardening, tried to mow but it was too fucking wet. Cleaned up and went shopping since Annie mentioned "meeting Monday and Khakis" about 10 times last night. I now own 6 pairs of dress pants instead of 3.
Went to the bookstore, scored a hardcover P.D. James for $3 along with a couple in the Patterson series I'm reading now. Met The Princess for a bloody mary at The Dive and wasted a few hours playing trivia (he picked up Hooters wings while we were there too) so I'm home and good right now.
Annie is under the weather and Lucy has gone who knows where so I'm debating "Dead Like Me" marathon or "Fried Green Tomatoes." Decisions, decisions.
I think I'll go with Dead Like Me. Later kids.

ETA: Ok, I WAS going to watch Dead Like Me, but apparently the girls lost the remote for the DVD player while I was at Dad's last weekend. Bitches.
I suppose I "could" move the DVD player from my bedroom in here, but I think I'd rather be pissed off. We'll see how that goes.

Idjits and the reason I don't stay out late anymore

There was a robbery/shooting outside The Dive last night (this morning). 3 against 1 and they still shot the guy after taking his money. Pussies. Guy is ok, idjits are probably caught on tape, but shit ya'll. There's a bullet hole in the wall 5 feet from my perch. (That says something about the integrity of that wall.)
I suppose I'll have to start staying home because really? That's just fucking stupid.

Damn Doctors

Since my quack gave up I've been using the clinic out by work. I need blood pressure medication or I wouldn't see anyone, but that's beside the point.
I rolled the dice wrong today, I got the real Doc. She harassed me into blood work tomorrow (not a big deal except I have to remember not to grab something to drink on my way to work) and a mammogram. I finally told her fine, go ahead. It's Friday. Bitch.
I haven't had one since my 40th, but yes, I have had one. That's the day I got my nipple pierced, now I need to find out if I have to take that out.
I know I'm supposed to do these things but you know what? If I didn't need drugs, I'd never see a Doc because I really don't want to know if something is wrong. I prefer to die quietly in my sleep from an undiagnosed ailment, or the fiery screaming crash that's probably going to happen on my way home one day. Odds are better on the latter.

I needed that

I got to Dad's mid afternoon yesterday and after he finished mowing and cleaned up we just hung out. It was good.
He grilled burgers because I'd asked him to, I haven't had one of his burgers in forever. He's out of practice, mine are better but I didn't say so.
We sat on the porch, watched hummingbirds fight, drank some beer and chatted until bedtime. Well his anyway, I stayed up and read for a couple of more hours.
No Skank, tho she did start burning up the phone early this morning, she finally quit that since the kids were coming over for lunch, I stayed later than originally planned to see them and hell, Dad was cooking real food......I'm still miserable.
It was nice to get away, even for a day, I've been slacking on seeing him with everything else going on, I'll be sure to ask for skank-free time more often.
I don't think Mom was too happy when I called back today to say I was coming home because it was already late in the day, but I'll catch up with that next week.
Gonna go chill and get my ass in bed since I was up at the asscrack of dawn on a Sunday. Night kids.

Final Hurrah

We called it New Year's Eve, but I think it was August or something. Our little group went to a strip club. We started at Friday's, went to The Dive, and eventually wound up in the titty bar. Another friend's boyfriend was in the band that night. I was their groupie for awhile too, so it was all good.
There was much drinking and groping. Apparently I was groped inappropriately and almost caused a fight, I didn't know that till later.
The band was good, there was only one really pretty girl and I tipped her well for being an amazon.
She tried to keep me from leaving thanks to another friend who thought I shouldn't drive. Tits in my face while she was talking to me didn't really work. I was more sober than the friend at that point, but I did thank her for the effort.
The sun was coming up when I got home.

I think I'm glad I'm older and have no friends now lol.

Skank free weekend

Dad and I have a date tomorrow. Cross your fingers.

Well ain't that a kick in the head

I was at The Dive reading per usual. The Assholes showed up, haven't seen them in awhile since there's a bar closer to their house now. My Brother (who really isn't) came in and he and Mrs. Asshole started playing. All of a sudden I see my husband (who really wasn't). It's been years. He's still married to the girl of his dreams and is now a grandfather. He and the girl might be back tomorrow. I like her too, she's a very cool woman. That would be awesome.
The brother and I told him we were just talking about him the other day. He still has those Wal-Hell darts....that's cool as shit. Today was good.
I'll try not to talk about anyone I don't want to see from now on since they might darken the door.

Once Upon a Time (at a Friday's)

I was a regular at the establishment since I got hooked on trivia, and so did a lot of other people. So about 10 years ago we all hung out there for happy hour every night because hell, we didn't have real lives. Ok, maybe some of them did, and the bartenders were friends, and it was a fairytale existence. I used to meet my husband (who really wasn't) there a lot, and my brother (who's really not) along with a bunch of other people and occasionally we'd actually go somewhere else and do something. I was hot for a blonde at the bar at the time so I was always willing to go if she would, and Tuesday night darts were born. My husband and my brother went to Wal-Hell and bought some cheap ass darts and about 10 of us met at The Dive to throw late that night. My brother kept my score because all I could do was throw the pointy object at the round thing and walk away.
This happened pretty regularly for a couple of months. The blonde turned out to be psycho, so I stuck with My Husband until he met the girl of his dreams. Also a different story.
I bought my own cheap ass darts and started playing with whomever showed up, usually my buddies.......and a monster was born.
I do miss those days, but not enough to re-live them.

My Brother (who really isn't)

I don't think I've told this story, but so what.
I lived in this town for almost 20 years without running into anyone from Armpit, I was fine with that. One day I sat next to this guy I'd seen around, he played trivia too, and he asked me where I was from. I said Armpit. He asked "Where the hell is that?" and as I was explaining, he started laughing.
He grew up in Armpit West, went to a different school, but hung out with all the guys I went to high school with. He's introduced me as his sister ever since.
He's a big part of the reason I started throwing darts, which is a story for another time, our antics back in the day still make me cringe.
He's started showing up at The Dive a bit lately, dangerous for him since his wife really doesn't like that, but I still enjoy seeing him. He made me late getting home tonight (again). I still managed, burgers and dogs were good at 8:45.
Oh yeah, he showed up tonight because I beat his ass 3 games last night and he couldn't stand it. I only won 2 of the 3 tonight.

Hopefully we have a compromise

Depression and I have been fighting a lot for the last week. I just watched Mamma Mia for the 50th time so maybe I can sleep without dreams tonight since all I want to do is sleep and it hasn't been pretty. I can deal with the earwig for a good night's sleep, no dreams. Deal?
I'm off to snuggle a pillow and see how it goes. Wish me luck kids.

The Weirdest Nightmare Ever

I took a nap this afternoon. Bad idea. Besides all kinds of different weird shit, there was a recurring part that just wasn't fun at all. Lucy and I kept walking down this hallway with a door at the end, and every time Lucy would laugh and point back the way we came. I saw someone I knew (they changed every time) and something that looked like a coat rack, IV rack, with a long coat hanging on it. The strange thing about it was the very large feet sticking out from under the coat. It moved from time to time, but I was off out the door to some other weirdness in between so no biggie. The last couple of times we did this Lucy was holding the door on me when I tried to get out. I got out and went on until the last time. I looked back while trying to get out the door and the feet were walking towards me and I woke up scared shitless. I think that'll be my halloween costume this year because it was creepy as hell.