RANDOM BLONDE THINKER

There is an endless sea of music out there to choose from and my primary choice of music is the independent artist. Don’t misunderstand, I love signed artists and listen to Top 40 too, but there is something special about an independent artist who hasn’t allowed themselves to get lost in the soul sucking vortex of today’s music industry.

I’m not talking the weekend garage band warrior or the guy who occasionally gets up on open mic night to impress the new girl of the week. I’m talking about the serious and determined artist who is out to make their music more than a hobby and don’t mind doing what it takes within reason to get it out there. They don’t have the backing of big bucks, they’re not the ones who pucker up to kiss up to a corporate suit who’s telling them what to sing, what to wear, how to look, to drop some weight, or that it would be best if you didn’t talk too much about the family because it’s not good for the image. They don’t have high paying radio promoters, they do it themselves and realize that their fans are their biggest and most honest promoters and they don’t have to feel the need to compete with the bigger name on their label.

I love the artists who stand by their creativity and aren’t willing to sell it to the highest bidder who’s going to take control of it and turn them into something that doesn’t even start to resemble who they are. They refuse to stand in line on the musical conveyor belt as another corporately packaged, look alike, sound alike, cookie cutter molded artist who won’t be around in 5-10 years. I love the guys who will play the hole in the wall venues barely taking home tips just to be heard. They realize the size of the venue doesn’t matter and neither does the size of the crowd because all it takes is one person to hear what they have to offer and change their lives. They don’t do it for the fame, the money or the attention, they do it because they love it and because it’s who they are. It isn’t always the voices that turn my head, it’s the drive and the willpower to get in the van and hit the road, not knowing what’s ahead, only knowing they have to move forward. They stand on that stage night after night and sing to a crowd of drunks who aren’t even listening to the music. It’s frustrating, but they do it with a smile on their face. They load up their merch tables with stacks of signed self-released CD’s they paid for themselves, cleverly designed t-shirts that they paid for themselves and signed headshots that they paid to have taken, and then stand at that table exhausted after their show shaking every hand, thanking every person for coming and posing for a million pictures. They don’t just bolt off the stage and become a bus hermit. Why? It’s part of the deal and most of them really don’t mind doing it. They seem to connect on a more personal level with their fans than high profile names. They tend to remember your face and your name and talk to you for more than the standard 5 minute shake and go.

The struggle to be heard is one of the most difficult roads to travel but these artists just pile their stuff in the van and head to the next gig, the next city, the next month, the next year and hope that someone will listen and tell someone about them and that the right ears will eventually hear. They don’t give up easily and if they do, then this wasn’t the right road for them anyway. They aren’t any less talented than someone in the Top 40 and being played on country radio, some are more talented, sound better and their music is better quality. They just haven’t had that break yet to give them the platform to make that life changing impression but they don’t give up. This is why I don’t give up on them.

Give an unheard name a chance, listen to new music, don’t compare it to what the industry tells you is good music. Every big name started in a small venue, every big name was once a local unknown. There’s room on your playlist for both.

#SupporttheUnderdog

One of my blessings and a simultaneous curse is my passion for music. Music has a place in my heart that it carved out way back when I was about 6 years old & loved the sound coming from my Mickey Mouse record player. From there, my love of music moved on to Kenwood tower speakers in the living room, AM/FM/8 tracks in my parents’ car, my transistor radio, the long black tape recorder that I would sit beside every weekend & record my favorite songs. From playing Disney records on my Mickey Mouse record player, listening to the Casey Kasem Weekly Top 40 countdown, the Sony Walkman and boom box that came along in the 80’s, all the way to my current smartphone with streaming. Music has. ALWAYS been me and will always be who I am. I am the road trips with my parents, standing on the carpet hump between the front seats singing my lungs out to Shaun Cassidy, Rod Stewart, Olivia Newton John, the Carpenters, Elvis, The Oak Ridge Boys, the Bee Gees, Loretta Lynn, George Jones, Conway and the list goes on and on. I am many nights spent crying to love songs after a break up. Some love sports, some love shopping, I love music. It truly is an essential part of my existence.

My love for music and those who create it probably drives people crazy but that’s ok because it’s the reason I have the confidence to speak out for it, stand up for it and tell others about it. I can be a “bit” outspoken about it, a bit rude about it, stubborn & a bit overwhelming with it because I just feel very strongly about it, but what I will always be is honest about it. If I lived in Nashville, I’d be “protesting” up and down Music Row for artists who make our days better just by their words & talent who don’t get paid s**t, those with amazing talent passed over because of one BS reason or another, some of the best in the business who are treated like crap. It’s not right. But, I don’t just sit & spout off like a pissed off fan though, I research, read, I educate myself, paying attention on how to help them effectively and find ways that I actually make a difference instead of just making noise. I try to know what I’m talking about before I open my mouth, at least as much as I can & if I learn something in the process that might help me later, I welcome it. I prefer to call myself a “positive music advocate” instead of a promoter. My mouth gets me in trouble & has cost me friendships & connections but it’s worth it because it’s who I am and who I will always be. Music changed me, it molded me into the person I am & I want to pay back in some way, no matter how small my voice may be in an overwhelming sea of voices. If I’ve pissed someone off, then that means I’ve hit a nerve which means someone heard me. If I have to piss off a thousand people just to get a hundred to see how important music is and the value it has, then I’m good with that. Bring it on.

This is a personal tribute I came across last year while exploring the waterfront. It says “Thank you for the time you gave me” and the flowers were on the end of the fence. It hit me right in the gut. It made me stop and think how much time we waste being angry or upset with other people and how little time we take to thank people for the time they choose to spend with us. We’re getting to the age where we’re losing more and more of the people who mean something to us. Time is short and it matters. I’d like to just thank those who choose to spend your time with me or who help me when I need it. I never take you or your time for granted ❤

The weirdest year ever has taught me more than you’d think you could fit into a span of 365 days. 

– Kindness is ALWAYS the right choice, even if those you’re kind to those aren’t always kind in return. That’s on them, not you. The Golden Rule always applies, just as I learned when I was little, “Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You.” It also takes much less energy than being angry and makes you feel better. In today’s environment, kindness always wins.

– People will come into your life and sometimes they’ll choose to leave. Let them leave, they weren’t meant to be there. It’ll hurt for awhile, but that day will come where you see that it was for the best and you might see a side of that person after the fact that will make you thankful they left. This counts for friends, not just significant others. Wave goodbye, never regret the kindness or love you gave them, because neither are things to regret.

– Stop being “too busy” and neglecting relationships and neglecting yourself. Call those you need to, let people know you haven’t forgotten them. Make the effort, it’s worth it.

– Being a responsible adult sucks, but you have no choice so suck it up and do it. Be the best example you can for those coming up in the generation behind. 

– Turning 50 isn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I think as the years go by, you “find yourself”. You know what you want, what you don’t want and know the kind of person you want to be. You figure out what matters. Life really can begin at 50. 

– Love matters, whether it’s the right people or the wrong people. We all need it, we all deserve it and it’s our one common denominator. It’s never a waste to time to show love to someone.

– The flaws you concern yourself and focus on so much aren’t necessarily what others pay attention to. Weight doesn’t determine beauty or worth. Sexy is more than a size. Beautiful is being smart, being kind, kicking life’s ass and laughing at it when it laughs at you. Be flawsome! Be you. You’re pretty great as is.

– Music means more to me than it ever has before. I’ve met so many lifelong friends because of music. It really does bring people together. The power of a 3.5 minute song can really change a life in so many ways. The power of a lyric can make the difference in someone’s attitude, outlook and situation. I have learned to appreciate those who create the music (writers, singers and musicians) as well as those who work behind the scenes (office staff, road crew, management, label reps, publicists, bus drivers and merchandisers) and the fans who stand behind it so much. It takes a village to make music. I’ve made the best relationships simply through talking about the music I love.

I hope this was the year:

• You had “the click” where you finally got it and realized your worth.
• You stopped trying to be what others wish you were and started being yourself again because you are awesome just as you are. 
• You quit complaining and started appreciating.
• You found something to be passionate about. 
• Say goodbye to 2020 and the things and people that held you back. 
• Let 2021 be the year you move forward and be the best and most authentic version of you. I know it will be for me. 

I had an experience today that really kinda got to me. Yes, I am the queen of “You ain’t gonna believe this” and have weird things happen to me almost daily.

Today, on my way home from my trip to Scotland Neck, I had to stop for gas. I stopped at the Speedway and as I was coming out, I noticed this guy standing on the sidewalk who just looked like he was on the verge of tears. Nice looking, clean cut guy, maybe early 30’s. When I came out, we made eye contact. He wiped a tear away, smiled and said hello. I smiled, said hello back and asked him if he was ok. He broke down in a puddle of tears and proceeded to tell me he had just gotten out of jail last night after 5 months and he doesn’t know how to rebuild his life. He looked me in the eye and asked me to not be afraid of him, he wasn’t in jail on drugs or violence. He stole money from a close friend out of desperation after losing his job due to Covid and he got caught. I could tell he was being honest and wasn’t threatening, so I assured him I wasn’t scared and I just let him talk. That’s all he needed was to get this stuff off his chest. He was staying with his parents until he can find a job and he was waiting on his mom to come pick him up since he can’t drive. He said he felt like a failure, like a disappointment to his parents and was trying to just start over. I told him that no one is beyond redeeming themselves and everyone deserves a second chance to lead a better life if they really are willing to change direction. I think that was all he needed, just to talk to someone outside of his circle and get affirmation that he’s not a lost cause. His mom drove up and he got in the car, I told him to have a good night and I went to get in my car. He rolled his window down and said “Thank you for not ignoring me and for not being afraid to talk to me. I’ll never forget this”, smiled at his mom and they left.

People matter. They really do. Never look past someone, look at them. You might be the only one who does.

I was lying in bed last night listening to my “Sleep” playlist like I do every night just waiting to fall asleep, but this time instead of closing my eyes to my random flurry of thoughts, the very thing I fall asleep to was the very thing keeping me awake. Song after song, instead of multitasking through each one, I listened closely to each word, each melody, each story. I thought back through the various points in my life that each song belonged to and the memories of the various parts of my journey of the appreciation of a song began to take over.

“How Deep Is Your Love” by the Bee Gees (1977) : I was 7 years old and my favorite thing to do was ride in the car with my dad. I knew we would listen to this thing called music and the Bee Gees were the gold standard at the time. I knew we would sing “How Deep is Your Love” and “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” at the top of our lungs in our own special kind of harmony and then we’d launch into a very off key rendition of “Jive Talking” and “Staying Alive” and butchering the lyrics but those were the best duets of my life.

“You Light Up My Life” by Debby Boone (1977): Man I loved this song. I would sit at my Mickey Mouse record player every day with dad’s huge headphones on, put that white gloved needle down and launch into the most gloriously loud rendering (or should I say “Jenndering”) of a classic. I would listen over and over until my mom would make up something to do to get me to shut up. There was just something about this music thing that just captivated me.

“Without You” by Nilsson (1971): This ‘45 with the orange label was one of my earliest favorites. My dad used to listen to it quite often and I remember loving listening to him sing. This one also used to make me cry although I never understood why since I didn’t know yet about the importance of lyrical content. I just knew it was sad and my daddy singing it made it that much sadder.

“Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground” by Willie Nelson (1981): This was the second single off of the “Honeysuckle Rose” soundtrack but I first heard it when my parents gave me the “Willie Nelson Greatest Hits” album for Christmas. This was one of two albums of the first of my very own, the first to start my own collection. This song started my curiosity into the world of lyrics and meaning. What did “flying too close to the ground” mean and who was he talking to and why were they “close to the ground?”

“Elvira” by The Oak Ridge Boys (1981): Ahhh, the “Fancy Free” album, the other of the first two alThis was the start of my “This country music ain’t so bad” path to my love of “Mama’s genre”. I mean “Giddy Up Oom Papa Mow Mow” didn’t sound like anything my parents were listening to at the time. I first heard it on our local FM station in Decatur, GA during Casey Kasem’s Top 40 Countdown when I was keeping my feet on the ground and reaching for the stars. This song was different, it was pretty cool and you never heard harmony vocals like that on mainstream radio. I knew I was gonna like these guys for a long time. Little did I know that 40 years later, through this thing called Twitter, I would connect with Joe Bonsall and Duane Allen and the Oaks and crew would become very good personal friends. Funny how a song connects.

“Always a Woman” by Billy Joel (1977): I think I have listened to every song Billy Joel ever released and keep coming back to this one. I just wanted to be the woman in this song, the one who is always that kind of woman to someone, the kind of woman someone would write a song about.

“Only One You” by TG Sheppard (1981): Another “this ain’t your mama’s country” songs that I fell in love with. The beat and melody get you moving but the lyrics got me being proud to say to myself that even though there are many others out there I could compare myself to, I need to remeber that “There is only one you.”

I could go on and on because this one playlist has 772 songs on it – important songs that ease my mind, make me think of friends, make me laugh and cry, make me realize the message of each song. Each song was crafted by someone, someone who put long hours and work into making it perfect for me. It was written by someone who just lost a loved one, someone who ended a relationship, someone who made a choice, someone who won their battle, someone who cried while writing their thoughts on a tear-stained piece of blank paper, someone who accomplished something they dreamed of. It was listened to by a girl who loves each word, who appreciates each note and who recognizes the difference a song can make to someone.

Thank you for the greatest gift that never stops giving back each time I discover a new artist, when I listen to the radio, when I sing in the car or when I cry myself to sleep. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, the music is with me. The music changes me every day in some way and brings so many people together through it’s message and it’s melody.

“A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.” … This says a lot, doesn’t it? 

Remember those who clapped for you long before your songs appeared on the charts, before your shows started selling out, before your paychecks got bigger and before you took home any awards. 

As an artist, musician, or songwriter, what you create today, you will eventually leave behind for years to come, for new generations of  listeners. Everything you make public remains for someone to enjoy long after you’re gone. Leave something that will live on in a positive way. Don’t waste your time on a ten cent song when your talent is worth more and you’re capable of creating something worth so much more to someone, something that might change their lives?

Sure, a hit song would be a sign of success and put some money in your wallet for awhile, but there are a ton of one hit wonders that faded away as soon as the next big thing came along because they didn’t produce a product with substantial staying power. Success isn’t based on a royalty check, a #1 song or a record deal. Your success is how your music affects the listener, how it makes an impact, even how it affects you personally. Your success is the smile on a face, the drunk guy who raises his beer at last call and leads the bar in a loud sing along to your song, the kid who sings along with their mom in the car when she plays your EP, an Alzheimer’s patient who can’t remember much of their lives, but there is a glimmer of a happy memory when your song starts to play. Your success is knowing you’ve written something meaningful to yourself or someone else. Success isn’t measured in chart numbers or record sales, it’s measured in moments.

As a writer, your music and hard work becomes a memory for someone of a time in their lives, a chronological scrapbook. Write music that will leave an imprint, that can be easily remembered and is easy to sing along with. Anyone can put words together and call it a song, but few have the talent to actually write something people care about hearing again and again and will remember.

As an artist, perform each show as though it’s your first, for some in the audience it may be their first concert or first time seeing you. Make each fan feel as though you are singing directly to them. It doesn’t matter how many people attend, what matters is how many people leave impressed and want to see you again. You are the person who delivers the music from the stage to their ears. They are there for you, be there for them. Leave them knowing you gave them the very best show you could. Make it worth the time they gave up to spend on you.

As a musician, you’re every bit as important as the person singing into the mic. You’re not simply a fade into the background or a hood ornament. A song doesn’t sound nearly as good without your contribution. You’re not just the drummer, just a bass player or just a fiddle player. You are the backbone of any good show, without you, it’s just not gonna stand as strong. Your notes and chords remain in a room long after the lights go down and the doors are closed. There will always be memories of your performance to someone who comes back to that venue and has seen you play that room before. You have something just as important to leave behind.

People make a conscious choice to listen to your music, to spend their last dollar on your merchandise, to drive hours just to see you. You can never repay these thousands of unknown fans who make this choice every day, but you can leave them something more important, quality music and a memorable performance that will they will carry in their hearts and memories for years.

That’s the success you leave behind. That’s your legacy. That’s your thank you.

I was reading my usual morning news and stumbled across a story about Holly Butcher, a 27 year old woman who passed away last week but left behind an extraordinary reminder of what really matters when it all comes down to it. We all need a change in our way of thinking, our attitudes, priorities and our outlook. There’s nothing more important than your relationships and your time. Spend it wisely, don’t miss time with those that mean the most to you. I didn’t know Holly but her “bit of life advice” really hit me where it needed to and when I needed a push. I wanted to share in hopes that it might do the same for someone else who needs it. Thank you Holly for leaving behind something that truly matters, something that can help so many people. I hope this continues to go viral and that it continues to make a difference.

Holly Butcher
January 3 at 4:16pm ·

“A bit of life advice from Hol:

It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.

You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.

Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo ”

Link to original post on Facebook – http://bit.ly/2meMpGm

Your life changes every second of every day. You make friends, you lose friends. You realize that those you thought were your friends really aren’t friends at all. You realize that person you never thought twice about makes a great friend after all. You look for love, you find love maybe with a stranger or maybe with your best friend, you lose love, you make love. Someone makes an effort for you, make an effort for them. You realize that all along, with all of your flaws, you’re loved by somebody. You laugh, you cry, you scream, you wonder, you agonize, you sigh, you laugh some more and shake your head wondering why you were so upset in the first place. You wish you hadn’t done something then you are glad you did. You wonder what if, you take a chance on something or someone, it works out, it doesn’t work out, at least now you’re not wondering what if anymore and you took the chance to find out because it mattered. You have ups and downs, see good movies and count the minutes til bad ones are over. You question yourself, you doubt yourself, you gain confidence, you lose confidence then you realize you’re a pretty awesome person. You wish you were someone else then you see that person for who they really are and thank God you’re you. You love life, you hate life, you struggle, you regain control and love life again. You give and you take. No matter what’s thrown your way, handle it and move on. Your life is waiting and it’s always gonna change, so adapt and change with it instead of letting it change you. Let people in and let people out. If it changes you, let it be for the better.