Wishing for a miracle to happen each day

Sunday, November 04, 2018

Hello World!

It seems like life has been going on an accelerated pace recently and I'm about to become a global citizen!

Have just came back from a US trip to San Francisco to visit KY in October and have a UK posting to Stevenage lined up for next year! Seriously, I can't wait to go to UK - it will be just like the old exchange times, doing grocery and stuff all by myself. Except maybe that this time there won't be Rachel there to entertain me :/

Can't wait to try all the cool things in the UK anyway hehehe, that's going to be so so so so so fun wheee.

Oh and to update, I got myself a bf and I guess the pieces are falling into place now. I wonder if by the time I next post on here, we would be engaged :O highly probable since I hardly post anymore.

Currently doing a production role in VS1 and it is pretty hectic with a lot of last minute things to do. I actually don't thrive in such an environment so... I probably need to seek new areas for growth & exploration soon after returning from the UK (if you know what I mean hmm).

Cheers to life & post again soon!

~4:33 pm

* * *

Monday, May 08, 2017

Hello there again!

I'm currently located in office and it's the middle of the night :)
To be more specific, I am currently following the shift team and it so happens to be the night shift right now. As solvent simulations have just completed and the actual batching has not begun, I'm stuck in a pretty peculiar scenario where I have nothing to do for the next 6 hours until daylight.

Oh and did I mention that today is a Sunday night? Meaning that the plant is absolutely empty and there is no one in my office except me. Just me and my laptop I guess :)

Somehow, having been on shift for about 2 weeks or so, I have discovered that I really like working night shifts. A pity that this means that I have to be sleeping much of my day away. In fact, just this morning I was sleeping till 2pm, after which I taught tuition classes till 5pm and went home for dinner. After dinner, it was bedtime again, as I went to catch another 2 hours of sleep. Seriously, maybe what slimey said was right, I am turning into quite the pig :)

I have been working for about 10 months in GSK already and I must say that the experience has been quite interesting. The company has just given me so many opportunities that I would probably not get had I joined an ordinary SME as a junior engineer. In just 10 months, I have been given the chance to work on a life-changing project with a great team, go on a business trip to Penang Malaysia, work with numerous vendors and departments in the company and in just 2 weeks, I'll be heading to UK for a training session (psst, I will be heading to Scotland for travels and vacay with the other FLPs too, what fun!)

It's truly an amazing journey, I just feel so blessed.

Sigh but I think I have dedicated too many hours to the company. Upon my return, I think it is time to engage in other activities - might try some of the interesting courses or activities on onePA again soon, I certainly need all the exercise and excitement, my life is too dull recently :/ My average weekend is now made up of short meetups and sleeping. I need to find new activities to keep me alive!!!

On that note, I think I shall stop here and go back to watching videos. Update more after the UK trip!

~1:47 am

* * *

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Hey there!

It's been slightly more than a month since I joined the huge GSK family - I must say that I have alot of mixed feelings about it!!

On one hand, the job has been really challenging, with loads to learn and absorb. On the other hand, the people in GSK have been there to make it all better. Thanks to my team members (Yu Ding, Wee Chuan, Marina, Chee Wei, Glenn, Prabhjeet and Prab), I have grown alot from that noob little kid who joined GSK on 4th July 2016.

Currently I'm involved in a huge design project (yes, design project), reminiscent of those Design Project days in NUS. Somehow, working in the industry and designing things in the industry is so much more challenging as there are real consequences for everything that you do - if you do something that is not quite up to the mark, then there are consequences on EHS. So definitely stressful in that way.

===

This month also marks the month I took a venture to bike on mountainous trails in the Dairy Farm area - went down a hill slightly wrongly and suffered bruises and cuts but it all is worth it now that I think back :) Wouldn't have done it any other way, although I must say I have been pretty lucky.

===

I also had a couple of outings with the TD team at GSK, great bunch of people that I hope I can maintain long-time friendships with :)

===

Tomorrow is Monday again, so I gotta sleep early (and also because I have gotten ill and need the rest), so cheers till I come back to blog again!

~8:41 pm

* * *

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Hi Everyone!

I'm back after a hiatus and some graduation trips :)

The past few months have been great - I've successfully completed my Master's degree and am finally en route to going into my first job in the pharmaceutical industry! After a mind-opening assessment centre day at GSK, I'll be starting work in the quality department in July. Go girl!

Job Hunt
As mentioned, I have managed to gain access into one of the biggest pharmaceutical MNCs ever - GlaxoSmithKline. I distinctly remember that when I was in secondary school, I vowed to enter the pharmaceutical industry; I went so far as to take H3 Pharmaceutical Chemistry and gaining access into research labs to do it. In Junior College, this pursuit then led me to grow in love with research and eventually take up a research scholarship - one that I eventually relinquished but never regretted. In university, after going into Jurong Island for the first time to visit ICES and thereafter to working in Chevron, I then changed my aim into quitting the research scene and entering the oil industry. Full-circle later, I can't believe that I am actually back at the place I started. GSK was indeed a company which I looked into when I was in secondary school :O

Frankly, prior to assessment centre day, I wasn't even sure that GSK was the company which suited me best. After talks with staff and friends though, this changed and now I can safely say that I am EXCITED to start work :)

Oh and I did get called up by Astra Zeneca and a few other companies after I accepted the GSK offer, so I guess I'm still wanted :D

Masters
Results for my final semester of my Master's programme were finally released on 30 May 2016. 1 year later, I can finally put "BEng MSc" on all my namecards XD I'm actually graduating with a CAP of 4.65/5.00 which I find pretty amazing - it would have been higher if not for the fact that I got pulled down by the B+ from Facility Layout and Location and Decision Analysis.

I'm also really glad that I have met a bunch of really great friends in Masters, including Li Lin, Ya Wen, Shuge and Li Wei, as well as interesting professors like Prof Michel Cardin, Prof Poh Kim Leng and Dr See Chuen Teck, Prof Ng Kien Ming, Prof Goh Thong Ngee, Prof Lee Loo Hay, Prof He Shuangchi, Prof Tan Chin Hon, Prof Ayliana Dharmawan.

Graduation Trips
This year, I headed to Hoi An and Da Nang in Vietnam with Michelle from 7 May 2016 to 10 May 2016. It was a great and much needed bestie recharge trip with loads of cafes and food eating. Despite the hot weather, we had a great time cycling and moving around in the ancient town and exploring the place :)

I also headed to Kyoto, Osaka, Nara and Himeji in Japan with my favourite ChBE guys from 12 May 2016 to 20 May 2016. As the only female on the trip once again (remember SEP?) it was refreshing and physically demanding - guys don't stop halfway and just chionggg~ There was alot of gossiping on the trip too to accompany the pretty scenery and awesome weather, so all-in-all, a great trip - makes me think of our Korean trip a year ago!

After heading to Japan, I then headed to Malaysia with family :) It was interesting exploring Johor and I certainly hope to go again :) Cheap food ftw!

Speaking of which, immediately after I returned from Malaysia, I went to SingPost to get my passport changed - ahhhh my pretty passport with many stamps and chops from the last 5 years is now gone :'( At least I get to keep it.

Considering that I went to >20 cities in the past 5 years (actually it might be even 30 cities by virtue of the number of cities I went during SEP) using that passport, it has indeed recorded alot :D I hope to travel to more countries in the next couple of years!!

Singaporean Tourist
As I've quite a bit of free time on hand these few days, I've been trying my hand at being a Singaporean tourist! Having travelled so much of the world, I've been neglecting Singapore alot and so it's time to explore Singaporean tourist spots!

My travel buddy thus far is mum who's technically unemployed - we've been to the Peranakan Museum, National Museum and Lee Kong Chian Natural History Museum thus far and are going to explore more places soon!

That's the updates on my life thus far - as my job starts only in July, I've still got a whole month to myself. The only good thing is that my sisters are on holiday and mum's still technically unemployed, so more museum hunting is in store!

===

That's all the updates I have on life now...will probably post more when I start work in July! Oh and commencement is on 11 July 2016. So here's to a guaranteed break when I start work :D

~1:12 pm

* * *

Sunday, February 28, 2016

After loitering for a year in graduate school, I guess it is finally time for me to enter the real world and reignite the passion that I have for hardcore engineering.

After loitering for a year, I am finally graduating with my Master's degree - I'm probably one of the youngest in Singapore to complete it and probably one of the few to do it in a year too.

Nonetheless, reality hits and it is time for me to set off on my hunt for the "Perfect Job".

Honestly speaking, there isn't much that I require for my ideal job at this point of time - I only ask for one which doesn't constrain my love for science and one that gives me room to explore. Oh and I will work day and night for you as long as you pay me the equivalent amount in pay. So basically that's it I guess. I just want a tiny space in a global company that gives me room to grow & learn.

Thus far, I've interviewed at a scant few places - Shell, The Biofactory, AstraZeneca, British Petroleum and GlaxoSmithKline - I'm not really sure what they are looking for in a recruit, but it seems like I have not really measured up to the standards of Shell, British Petroleum or The Biofactory.

Keeping my fingers crossed that GlaxoSmithKline will accept me though - it was a really gruelling application process! After submitting an online copy of my CV and basic information, I had to do a verbal test, numerical test and some sort of personality test I think. After passing those rounds, I then proceeded to do a video interview - recording my responses to a few questions using Sonru. After passing the video interview round, I was one of twelve candidates shortlisted for the Assessment Centre.

The assessment centre started plainly enough, with a group exercise, followed by individual interviews. Thereafter, there was a technical paper which we all had to sit for, followed by a role play and a final group presentation exercise. Tedious but I really am keeping my fingers crossed for the best. I need to land a job :\

===

On a side note, it's almost the end of recess week and it's time for me to study hard for mid-terms - I only hope that the bell curve god works in my favour - I've put in as much hardwork as I can afford but seriously, now it is only up to the actual situation on the day itself. Cheers to CAP 5! I will get it!!!

Oh and one more side comment - why is everyone pairing up and getting married? :O

~6:03 pm

* * *

Friday, January 01, 2016

Last year's resolutions were...

1) I will run 3 times a week - MET
2) I will reduce my presence on social media - MET
3) I will get a guy (or at least get to know more guys hahahah - this one is dictated by my girlfriends) - YES, I got to know more guys, but no, I didn't get a guy :D
4) I will travel, perhaps with friends - MET, I travelled to Korean in the middle of the year and Taiwan at the end of the year!

This year's resolutions are...

1) I will exercise 3-4 times a week
2) I will continue to get to know more guys :)
3) I will travel
4) I will discover my true calling in life, one which I have put off for so long :)

In retrospect, 2015 has been a truly challenging year but definitely a fulfilling one. The highlights were:

- Winning the NUS Student Achievement Awards (Gold) with Project C.A.N. in Jan

- Spending the semester designing the biobutanol plant from scratch with my clique

- Travelling to Korea with the gang

- Graduating and receiving the Dean's List for an awesome Chemical Engineering education :)
- Working on and publishing my membrane thesis in the renowned AIChE Journal with my professor and mentor

- Relief teaching in schools

- Going for numerous interviews for jobs and those job fairs

- Learning and meeting new people as part of my Masters course ^^

I'm definitely looking forward to doing better in the following year. Here's to a better year ahead!

~12:45 am

* * *

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Dear Diary,

It seems like a fairytale come true. I'm finally in the Dean's List in the last semester of my time in NUS. After fighting for so long, I have come full circle and graduated NUS with 2 A+ and a Dean's List to add to the list.

Given what a hell semester this has been, I am all the more convinced that the hard work which I have put in for this semester has been worth it. Neglecting friends and outings, fighting to stay awake in the middle of the night, the numerous McDonald's which totally destroyed my diet and exercise regime.

Which brings me back to thanking all the people who ensured my survival in this past year.

First, my 3 bestest besties in the world, Charlotte, Isabel and Michelle, who have been the silent un-moving rocks in my life and who have kept me sane wherever and whichever point in life I have been. Through all my doctors' appointments, depressions, ups and downs - they have been there for me.

Second, my 2 other groups of rocks - Little DDs and PRSSVX, who occupy the other big void in my heart and who I can count on to entertain me.

Third, to CSC friends, especially to E9 and my C.A.N. Loggies who have kept me aligned in NUS with the altruistic aim and who have taught me everything that there is to know about family. Ohana means family and CSC is one big ohana, where everyone has the gotong royong spirit :) I'll remember this spirit for life!

Fourth, to ChBE buddies

1) Cliques: Jia Xiang, Gummy, Wee Meng, Cher Yang, Khai Hoe, Wan Ying, Ryan

2) FYPs: Andrel, Xu Li, Titus, Fang Chao

3) Oulu: Zemin, Rachel, Chun Kiat, Guang Yuan, Yangyi, Ivan, Yonghui

4) Chevron: Zemin, Xue Zhe, Tingfeng, Zhi Hao

who have definitely spiced up my life (on this note, I wonder who is our valedictorian). Thank you to you people who have made life better in NUS :)

Fifth, to family, who have been there to support me from the very start. Whenever I'm just feeling lousy, there's always you guys to keep me going and focused at the target. Because of you guys, I feel loved and am always going for the next opportunity.

Signing off with a song by Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Puth entitled..."See You Again"

[Charlie Puth:]

It's been a long day without you, my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

We've come a long way from where we began

Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

When I see you again

(Hey)

[Wiz Khalifa:]

Damn, who knew?

All the planes we flew

Good things we've been through

That I'll be standing right here talking to you

'Bout another path

I know we loved to hit the road and laugh

But something told me that it wouldn't last

Had to switch up

Look at things different, see the bigger picture

Those were the days

Hard work forever pays

Now I see you in a better place (see you in a better place)

How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

[Charlie Puth:]

It's been a long day without you, my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again (I see you again)

We've come a long way (yeah, we came a long way) from where we began (you know we started)

Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I'll see you again (let me tell you)

When I'll see you again

(Aah oh, aah oh

Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Yeah

[Wiz Khalifa:]

First you both go out your way

And the vibe is feeling strong

And what's small turn to a friendship

A friendship turn to a bond

And that bond will never be broken

The love will never get lost (and the love will never get lost)

And when brotherhood come first

Then the line will never be crossed

Established it on our own

When that line had to be drawn

And that line is what we reach

So remember me when I'm gone (remember me when I'm gone)

How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

[Charlie Puth:]

So let the light guide your way, yeah

Hold every memory as you go

And every road you take, will always lead you home, home

It's been a long day without you, my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

We've come a long way from where we began

Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

When I see you again

(Aah oh)

(Uh)

(Aah oh)

(Yeah)

(Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

(Ya, ya)

When I see you again

(Uh)

See you again

(Wooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

(Yeah, yeah, uh-huh)

When I see you again

~8:51 pm

* * *

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Hi everyone!

I'm proud to say that I have officially graduated from NUS as of today! Got my last ever results SMS from the NUS system and wow, it is the best I have seen since I embarked in Chemical Engineering 4 years ago!

I've got all A's - and even 2 A+ ^^ Hallelujah, I now have bragging rights to A+ in engineering modules :) Yay :)

With this results, I have a CAP of 4.8 and am set to go on the Dean's List. I hope it's enough to go on that list :/ I need to get Dean's List once in my lifetime (at least for ego purposes)!! We'll see how it goes eh. But at least I can happily face A*Star now.

===

On another note, I was a JC student calefaring on the production Tanglin (by Mediacorp) today!

"The new MediaCorp TV Channel 5 drama, Tanglin, will be making history in more ways than one when it airs in June. Not only is it the first long-form English drama with 199 episodes in the works, it is also the first time a two-storey set has been constructed for local TV."

It was really fun, since I got to walk around Innova JC in uniform and totally re-live my JC life! Also, I got to see behind the scenes of a Mediacorp production and even talk to the cast and crew.

Saw some interesting people like Eden Ang, Charlie Goh etcetc. Star struck :)

Okie that's all for now :)

~6:56 pm

* * *

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Hi there!

So basically, last Thursday was my last official day of undergraduate life - where my last undergraduate presentation was done. Ironically/Coincidentally, it was a presentation for one of the hardest modules which I had to do in my whole undergraduate study - the DESIGN PROJECT.

This design project was a 7 member project, where we designed a biobutanol production plant. Luckily for me, I had the chance to work with friends on this project, which made the process much more bearable. Indeed, Zemin, Gummy, Jia Xiang, Wee Meng, Cher Yang and Alvin have been some of the most wonderful group mates in NUS (despite all the rubbish we utter). I'm so going to miss you guys :)

I currently have mixed feelings about graduation, mostly stemming from the fact that I have no idea what awaits me in the year ahead...ah wells. But first, let me get through the three exams that I have lined up ahead.

NUS has been good to me and I look forward to life after undergraduate. Who knows, I might be a Master's student in NUS :)

===

On a side note, a lot of things have been happening to me on the relationship front. I know of a couple of potentials but I've said yes to none of them so far, since I don't think those people are who I'm looking for in life. hmmm. There are some good friends who could become better friends I guess, but we'll see how that goes.

Somehow now that I'm finding out that my friends are getting attached and even married left, right and center, there is a bit of mini pressure to start looking for that other half. But hey, I'm not chuffed about it, the right one will come when the right one comes. But when that happens, I will have my eyes right open and mind alert :D

I guess this means that I'm finally ready to let go of past experiences, past sadness and past fears. Now that university's going to be over, the "focus on studies" mantra is slowly being broken. Time to move on!

~1:17 pm

* * *

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 has been a really amazing year, filled with many trials, love-hate relationships and of course, achievements.

I started off 2014 fresh from my experiences of being overseas (on a student exchange programme) and fresh from the knowledge of the illness of a beloved family member. It was a struggle to get used to a new lifestyle to accommodate new changes in my family. 5 years to live they said. I pray it will be at least another 30 years.

In January, I embarked on a life-changing internship to Chevron Oronite Pte Ltd, which changed the way I viewed Chemical Engineering. I got to finally work on Jurong Island full-time, as per what I promised myself (and A*Star administration) so many years ago. I recall the day I had my 1st round interviews for A*Star. The 3 scientists in the room asked me where I saw myself in a few years' time. I told them, I hoped to work on Jurong Island - it was a lifelong dream, I told them. And they were surprised. "Girls don't usually want to work there!"

A few years on, I can safely say...I enjoyed the experience and found something that I was passionate about. Chemical Engineering. One day I hope I can go back into the industry and contribute.

Anyway, back to Chevron. Chevron saw me make many new friends and colleagues. I was sad to leave, yes, but it was an experience to remember. I had such a great time there and I believe that I proved my worth to the engineers. I am an A*Star scholar and I produce A*Star quality work.

So during my time in Chevron, I also simultaneously took 2 night modules and headed Project C.A.N. XI,.

C.A.N. was a project which pushed my boundaries. 40000 units of food items and 3000 kg of rice. AMAZING. I had the chance to work with crazy like-minded peers and had the chance to learn many new things - I handled grants, managed relationships and spotted talent.

After completing my internship in June, I proceeded to head C.A.N. for its final preparations. In July, we finally executed the project. Despite hiccups, C.A.N. is now en route to Student Achievement Awards 2015 :D I hope we win!

In August, after completing C.A.N., I proceeded to take more modules and started work on my Final Year Project. Amongst the modules which I took was MT4002, which was a amazing module which saw Jeff Funk teach the subject with zest. I thoroughly enjoyed it. CN3135 and HAZOP was fun too. So yayyy.

Back to FYP. For FYP, I took it under Prof Neal Chung, working on membrane technology. Prof Chung proved to be a lovely grandfatherly person who was often asking after me in the laboratory. When he got to know that I was thinking of pursuing a PhD, he was ever so encouraging, telling me that I should go for it and come back to NUS if I couldn't get into a programme overseas. Then there was Dr Li Xue, my mentor, who was a wonderful newly minted doctorate with great ideas for future direction of the project - she was a good "explainer" of concepts and helped me along alot along the way. Cheng Zhenlei, a PhD candidate at the lab, was yet another memorable figure. He was ever so willing to help me around the lab and was indeed a person who taught me alot of the techniques needed for membrane study.

Membranes. I think they aren't really my cup of tea as I do not have the green fingers for good results. But still, I'm glad to say that I have a shot at publishing my work within the next year. So that sounds like a good prospect for 2015.

Oh so anyway, 2015 will be a year where I will publish my second research paper in my entire life and it will be a year where I find out if I will be going to graduate school after all.

Everything is not confirmed, so I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

So anyway...new year resolutions. Let's start by reviewing last year's:

So in 2014...
1) I shall maintain my run schedule even whilst going on IA.- Kinda Met
2) I shall continue to improve academically and sacrifice everything necessary to reach this goal. - FAILED
3) I shall keep up my study schedules and timetables to keep graduate school applications on track. - MET
4) I shall keep up my eye exercise schedules, control and limit my food intake to keep my illness at bay, so as to ensure that no vomiting or nausea signs occur in school or at work. - MET
5) I shall aim to spend more time at home, helping my mum with chores. - MET
6) I shall aim to not alienate friends and keep up my social life, meeting new people, not turning into a social hermit. - MET
7) I shall aim to make 10 new friends this year. - DEFINITELY MET

Well...I deproved in this academic year...but haiz. nvm, we'll see how that goes with A*Star later on...

In 2015...
1) I will run 3 times a week
2) I will reduce my presence on social media
3) I will get a guy (or at least get to know more guys hahahah - this one is dictated by my girlfriends)
4) I will travel, perhaps with friends

Yep. 4 hard goals for 2015.

Happy New Year everyone!

~7:26 pm

* * *

Hi Everyone!

Project C.A.N. is finally over~~~ *whew*

It's been a hectic few months, loaded with admin, as I tried hard to fulfill everything and live up to standards.

C.A.N. Collect, Challenge, Sort, Distribute, Service.

These alongside all the beneficiaries and experiences I have gained will live within me forever.

~6:58 pm

* * *

Monday, June 30, 2014

Hi Everyone!

My 6 month internship at Chevron Oronite has come to a close. I was there from 6 Jan 2014 till 20 Jun 2014. It's been a really eventful and hectic 6-months, with me juggling Project C.A.N. academics and so on.

I'll miss all the other interns at Oronite: Zemin, Alvin, Xue Zhe and Tingfeng, especially Alvin and Tingfeng, who worked in the Process Engineering Department with me (Zemin was in R&I and Xue Zhe in Facilities Planning).

I'll also miss the times when we bitched about our bosses and engineers together (okay not really bitched, just merely talked about some of their antics). It was wonderful to note that there were always 4 guys behind me, making my life at Oronite happy everyday :)

A short message to some of my beloved engineers:
Ajay, Sebastian, Nagaraj - The GMs in Technical, I really thank you for being there for me at my project presentation and for caring to talk to me whenever you are nearby. Really appreciate the human touch that you add into my life. I'll always remember the little incidents in Oronite when you three are present :)

Patrick - Thanks boss, I really thought you were awesome and cool for a Superintendent. I was expecting a old boring guy, but instead I saw a guy who was caring and every bit gossip-y and knowledgeable. Thanks for imparting all your knowledge and wisdom on HR and day-to-day tasks. I remember one thing you said: "Even if you are not going to be a process engineer next time, things you learn here will be applicable wherever you go."

Naresh - My silent mentor, I realised I haven't really interacted with you a lot, since you've always been flying around, on holiday and such. Nonetheless, I really treasure the time we had spent together and your guidance.

Nara - My unintended mentor, thank you sosososo much for helping me with my project presentation. It was great that you gave me pointers here and there :) What would I be without you!!

Adrian - Special thanks to you Adrian. I think I have learnt the most about process engineering related technical things from you. Thank you for taking me under your wing and giving me the freedom to express myself and excel. Hope that one day our paths will cross again since you're a truly remarkable worker :)

Barry, JianXiong - My other M2 Engineers, doing tasks for you has been a really enjoyable thing :):):) Especially since you two always ask me to do work in so cute ways. Like a bit paiseh and a bit of sorry-s. Glad that you two think like interns...but don't worry, the tasks you have assigned me are always the easiest of my daily work o.o

Susana, Char Char, Natalie, Kenny, Shijun, Walter, Samuel, Bee Leng, Ben 10 + numerous Technicians and Ops team - Really love you guys to bits for allowing me to feel belonged in the company. Even though I'm just an intern, you have ensured that I got a staff status here in Oronite :) I am respected and believed in. Thank you!

Truly remarkable, Truly wondrous.
=====
Project C.A.N. wise, I'll do an update soon, once the project is done.

But for now, it's time to chiong a little lit review for my FYP!!!

~10:36 am

* * *

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Welcome to 2014! Another year has came and 2013 has officially come to a close.

As with all previous years, here is my yearly post, to reflect on what I have done right and wrong in this past year...

Well...2013 was a year that was just life-changing - I have had the opportunity to meet with interesting individuals, do life-changing research and travel the world.

The world is my oyster and I am its pearl.

1st half 2013 was marked with my struggle to come to terms with the events of 2012 - the fight to overcome stress, eye problems and other health issues. It was also the time when I first came to understand and love my CYS mentorship youth - it's really therapeutic for me to know that I can be loved in such a way and be adored in such a way, after the events of 2012. It was also eye-opening to see what changes a 20 year old can spark in little ones that young (i.e. age 13) - I have succeeded :) It is now time to move on though - I'd like to embrace new things and pursue new challenges - dear mentee, you'll do well to be involved with other university age kids other than me, who can guide you on a better path in 2014. I'll always miss and love you.

In the middle of 2013, I embarked on a 3-month attachment with IMRE, with my supervisor Steven, on a quest to discover blockers & detectors of Melamine, the nitrogen-rich compound that has plagued the world. I really do hope the project goes on and Dr Su does indeed find molecules which can effectively detect for Melamine. It would be life-changing. Indeed, it would be!

2nd half 2013 was of course dedicated to my student exchange programme to Oulun Yliopisto (University of Oulu), Finland - an experience that will be imprinted into the very DNA of my life.

It all started with a journey with 3 other guys to Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris and London, the 4 major cities in Western Europe, followed by a trip to Mokki (cottage in Finnish) weekend, St Petersburg, Stockholm, various parts in Germany and then to Finnish Lapland, the home of Santa Claus.

It's really difficult to capture all of my experiences in words, but I will try to give a short summary here (which may not actually be very short).

START OF TRAVEL REFLECTIONS

Amsterdam

A really scenic city, Amsterdam is definitely one of the European cities that I want to come back to and visit in the future! It's full of rivers (the river Amstel terminates in the city centre), canals (there are so many many!), awesome architecture and well, the iconic windmills and their stroopwafels are magnificent. There are 3 crosses on the Amsterdam flag - the 3 Saint Andrew's Crosses represent flood, fire and black death (i.e. plague), the 3 things which traditional Amsterdam was always wary of.

As my first stop on this journey, Amsterdam was a memorable introduction to Europe - I saw horse-drawn carriages, statues, the typical European 'square' that exists in all major cities, visited their windmills and shoemaker shops, tasted their local cheese and oh even went for a hunt to locate their library, which has the most amazing view of Amsterdam :) I amSTERDAM :)

5 highlights:

1) Noting that bus fares in Amsterdam are freaking expensive. And noting that the doors on their trams close really really fast, so you better get in and out quick!

2) Anne Frank House - whoa, finally got to see that bookcase they all live in...with all the artifacts from the world war, the Anne Frank House is definitely one that you cannot miss!

3) Bikes - you know how bikes usually slow down when they see you? Well in Amsterdam where there are probably more bikes than cars, the bikes actually SPEED UP and attempt to RAM you down when they see you on their bike path.

4) Canals - It's like a Venice, but without the smell :) Oh and the canals add to the decor too!

5) Heineken Beer - Since the brewery is here in Amsterdam, we had to try it...and fresh beer is definitely the best. It's SWEET and yummy...of course, I think it still doesn't beat German beer, but that's for later :D

Brussels

Brussels was good for its waffles and chocolates and well maybe their buskers, which are really really good - there's nothing much in here besides that. I'm glad that we only chose to spend one day in Brussels. But yeah, our accommodation here was the cheapest and really good, so no complaints...

It was surprising to find out that the Belgians in Brussels tended to speak more French than anything else. Oh but these French are really friendly and generally try hard to help. Like all European cities, Brussels has a Grand Place, the square where everything happens :)

5 highlights:

1) Atomium - We traveled to the Atomium, a building that was originally constructed for the Expo '58 Brussels World Fair. Designed by the engineer André Waterkeyn and architects André and Jean Polak, it stands 102 m (335 ft) tall. Its nine 18 m (59 ft) diameter stainless steel clad spheres are connected so that the whole forms the shape of a unit cell of an iron crystal magnified 165 billion times. It is thus Europe's most bizarre building!

2) Leonidas Chocolates - I bought one box for myself, which I consumed all by myself: it had truffles and chocolates with nuts. YUM!

3) Manneken Pis - The little boy who pee pee-ed on the fire line! Before going to Brussels, I always had the impression that it was huge. Who knew that the original statue in commemoration of the boy is so tiny it fits on a tiny fountain?

4) Waffles - AHH WAFFLES!!

5) Getting scammed - got scammed by some group of university age kids who were supposedly raising signatures and money for a children's charity. Then they turned nasty when we wouldn't give them a lot of money. Scary bitches, that's what they were.

Paris

Paris!! A city that I've always aspired to go to ever since I began my French studies. To be perfectly honest, the Parisians weren't nearly as stuck up or racist as I was told they were. In general, they were a group of people who preferred to be left alone and are generally not openly warm to outsiders though. But yes, the streets which were black-dominated were kinda scary, since they seemed to stare you down...

But yes, I saw the everlasting flames under the Arc de Triumph, saw the Place de la Bastille, Champe-Elysees and even the Gardens of Versailles (grandest few palaces in all of Europe!).

5 highlights:

1) The bakeries - Macaroons and awesome freshly baked bread, the French bakeries are one thing that I will definitely miss! With hot chocolate and awesome baked stuff, who can say no to the cafes?

2) The Lourve - Finally, I've got the chance to enter the world-famous Lourve museum in Paris, which is said to have one of the most pieces of art in the world. I got to see Mona Lisa in full glory too :)

3) Tour d'Eiffel - The Eiffel Tower! I never expected it to be so short...I've always thought that this metal structure was tall and foreboding. Nonetheless, due to the housing height policy in Paris, this tower is actually the foreboding looking thing in Paris - nothing much is allowed to be taller than the Eiffel Tower! Based on the position of the Eiffel, you can actually tell which part of Paris you actually are in!

4) The Cathedral of Notre Dame - I sat through a service in Notre Dame and it was indeed eye-opening to see the ceremony performed in Notre Dame!

5) Pont Neuf - the love-lock bridge - I learnt that since the bridge is cleared of locks every few months, there is no point in locking a lock on the bridge!

London

I'm back here again after like 6-7 years! And whoa whoa whoa, London has not changed much since Secondary 3! It's really mind-blowing to be back in London, this time as a real tourist who is experiencing the authentic londoner lifestyle. For starters, we experienced the musicals and took photos with famous icons like the London Eye and Tower Bridge and ate the real English Breakfast :) King's Cross was a let down, but it's alright, at least I saw the place :)

5 highlights:

1) The musicals. Definitely the musicals! - I watched Once and Les Miserables which was simply great! The quality compared to the Phantom of the Opera which I watched in Singapore is really one level higher...the fact that I was watching it in West End probably added to the excitement!

2) London Eye and Tower Bridge - hey...London Bridge isn't really as amazing as we all thought it was. The iconic one is actually Tower Bridge!

3) London's Farmers Markets - Oh yes, what's London without its food? The Farmers Markets are the best! Simply yummy food can be found here :D Ohhhh I miss their Pot Pies already... Oh and speaking of food, the typical English Breakfast and London Chinatown fare is not bad too (but nothing compares with Singapore hawker fare though).

4) Following the steps of Sherlock Holmes - Visited 221B Baker Street oh yes!

5) British Science Museum - Probably the best Science Museum I've been to in terms of size and depth. Sadly they didn't have many interactive exhibits :(

Mokki Weekend

Mokki Weekend was all about being in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, simply to appreciate nature. In this location, I had my first Finnish style sauna (and the traditional kind too, with real wood and steam, not electrical generated ones). Needless to say, the sauna is a no-clothes on sauna place and everyone entered it being TOTALLY NAKED :) *queues horny* Oh and of course, I went forest trekking too and shitted in a compost toilet. WHEE~

5 highlights:

1) Sauna - see above.

2) Forest Trekking - Hey...forest trekking at zero degrees is NO JOKE OKAY. By the time we reached the summit, everyone was cold and sweaty :|

3) Compost Toilet - self-explanatory

4) Water woes - all water was pumped up from a hand pump well!

5) Drinking Minttu - a clear peppermint liquor that is only produced in Finland. Yum yum yum!

St Petersburg

An ESN trip, this trip to St Petersburg is just about appreciating an unbeknownst culture. As with all tourists, I appreciated the beauty of their Russian dolls, Russian architecture and Russian everything :) It's a really amazing place to be in - surprisingly, Russians really appreciate Japanese food. It's EVERYWHERE in St Petersburg...

5 highlights:

1) Cruise - MY FIRST EVER CRUISE across the seas and it's heading to Russia!

2) Russian Ballet - I saw Swan Lake! :DDD

3) Hermitage Museum - A museum that is always competing for the first place in the world, alongside the Lourve!

4) Cathedrals - The rumor is true! The Cathedrals are truly amazing and magnificent!

5) Talking to the Russian public - it's tough not knowing a language. It's especially tough when you have no idea how to even read the words. In this case, Russian is all in cryptic alphabets and I can't even attempt to pronounce. Hence...how do I buy food/ ask about anything? I can't :((( language woes!

Stockholm

We're finally at the capital of Scandinavia... Through a free tour, we learnt about King Gustav, the enmity between Sweden and Finland, the royal family of Sweden and the Nobel Prizes. Stockholm is a really expensive city to live in - everything is seriously overpriced...thank goodness I am not doing my exchange studies in Stockholm!

5 highlights:

1) Nobel Prizes - I saw where the Nobel Prizes were given out by the King of Sweden each year!

2) Royal Palace - I saw the changing of guards

3) IKEA - How can you be in Sweden without eating Swedish meatballs and jam and yumyumyums right?

4) Skansen - the open-air museum that has a zoo in it :DDD We saw all the typical Scandinavian animals!

5) McDonalds 1973 - Saw the first McD in Sweden too :)

Germany and Tallinn

Germany: This is where I went: Frankfurt, Mannheim, Schwetzinger, Ludwigsburg, Stuttgart, Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Heidelberg

A big thanks to Pris who took me around to these places and brought me Halloween clubbing around town with the SMU kiddos. Although you got wasted, I'm not telling people how wasted you got :) Oh and for being my cafe buddy in Germany, HI FIVE too!

5 highlights:

1) Schlosses and Castles - I went to many Schlosses over the course of my German trip - each city has one (or more) and they are PRETTY~~~ Heidelberg Schloss was definitely my favourite!

2) Swine Museum and Pork Knuckles - Oh the pork knuckles here are the best! Together with awesome German beer, which is sweet and pours down your throat, this is GREAT!

3) Porche Museum - To fuel my love of cars and automobiles and F1, a trip to the Porche Museum is a must! Hey I drove a Porche too!

4) Rothenberg - The christmas town~ Yummy Schneeballens here to eat and eh...even a criminal museum here!

5) Johann Wolfgang Goethe-Universitat - the university which is housed in the barracks which Hitler built! They even kept the old lifts in the university, which went up and down continuously like a pulley and all you had to do was step on and off the lift!

Tallinn, Estonia was next, since we wanted to see what the fuss about Tallinn was all about. It seems like there's not much of a fuss here, so we went searching for cafes and souvenirs instead (I bought a Medieval Tallinn warrior for daddy here). It was definitely a lot colder in Tallinn than Oulu, no thanks to the winds which swept the city. To sum up Tallinn, it is a mix of Russia, Germany, Sweden and the Finnish coldness :)

5 highlights:

1) Draakon Tavern - styled like a tavern in the olden times (i.e. candles for light and cave-like interiors etc, this place serves awesome soup and pies!

2) Cathedrals and Churches - yes, Tallinn has loads of these, but nothing of particular caught my eye, since I've seen loads around Russia and other parts of Europe already...

3) Town Wall & Medieval Tallinn - well...nothing special, except that it's tall and grand...

4) Kompressor Pancakes in Tallinn - there's a great shop in Tallinn where I tried Salmon pancakes...and they are lovely!

5) Kiek in de Kök - a 38m high cannon tower which means "Peek into the Kitchen". It was so high that guards joked about being able to see right down through the chimneys and take a peek into the kitchens below...

Lapland
What's a SEP to Finland if you don't visit Lapland, the home of Santa-land? Well...with that in mind, I booked my trip to Lapland with ESN Oulu, visiting places like the Rauna Zoo, Rovaniemi (Santa Claus Village), doing Snowshoe-ing, Snowmobiling, Husky and Reindeer Rides and more! Knee-high snow and -20 deg temperatures, Lapland is simply the best cold place you could ever want to be in! The only sad thing was that my camera refused to work properly in negative temperatures, so photos turned out a little grainy.
5 highlights:
1) Rovaniemi (Santa's home!)- Rovaniemi had me sitting next to Santa and talking to him personally. I was actually pretty amazed that Santa knew where Singapore was. I was even more amazed when Santa said he knew where Novena Square was. OHOHO. This Santa sure knows his stuff!! :DDD
2) Snowshoe-ing! - My first time snowshoe-ing was marked with interesting "sinking-into-snow" experiences and epic falling down experiences. The highlight of this segment must have been rolling down/ butt sledding down the pro skiing hill (which was empty by nightfall).
3) Snowmobiling - My snowmobiling experience has hardwired the idea that driving a car is so much safer than driving a snowmobile. HAHAH! I almost drove into a rock (which was pretty much invisible in the snow, considering that it was snowing really heavily and visibility was very much impaired). Oh ya...suiting up for the snowmobile also had me pretending that I was a F1 racer ready for the big race. I had overalls and balaclavas and even a helmet with visor :DDD
4) Husky and Reindeer Rides! - Mymymy, these were just FUNFUNFUN, if only I could go on unlimited tries :DDD

5) Reindeer meat, Gingersnaps and everything Lapland-y - Lapland delicacies are truly one to remember. I'll always remember the taste in my mouth of these stuff!

Helsinki

Hmm...nothing much in Helsinki, so I shall just skip over it. It's really just a administrative city, with nothing much that's particularly different or memorable. We spent one bored day staring into thin air in McDonalds in Helsinki. Oh fun fact: there is only 1 Starbucks in the whole of Finland, and it's in the Helsinki Airport...

Oulu

Oulu, my home for the better part of 4 months!

How to start...well, let's just start with the people - the people in Oulu are really nice and genuinely caring...I am really amazed by the passion the faculty has for their subjects and the general approachability of the staff. If only I can work in a university with such an environment - for graduate school, I definitely want a school where I have this kind of relationship with my professors! There is almost no barrier to talking to professors, you simply treat them as friends and give them the due respect friends deserve!

My kummi family has also been really great, but more of that later.

Food-wise, I think Oulu's cafeteria serves food that is edible, so no complaints about that!

However, being the country, there is definitely a lack of shops in the vicinity. Most shops are all located in the city centre, that is 3.30 euros away by bus or 5km of road away by bike.

Speaking of bikes, I am inclined to highlight that Oulu has the most extensive bike network I've ever seen. You can potentially get to anywhere on bike. In fact, Finns are so passionate about biking that they ride their bikes even in winter - at negative twenty degrees, you can still spot that brave soul moving around on his bike!

5 highlights:

1) Cafe Lingua - A place where people who want to learn language and teach language congregate, Cafe Lingua is a true place of culture, which I have actively participated in! Through Cafe Lingua, I have learnt a bit of many languages - at the very least, I've learnt how to do basic greetings :)

2) Kummi Family - I was lucky enough to be taken in by the Makela family - There are 5 members in the Makela Family: Jyuki & Airi, as well as their 3 daughters, Tanja, Pia and Mirva. Tanja has a husband Petri and a daughter Milla (who is SO CUTE) and Pia has a boyfriend Santeri. This family has taken me in as their own and brought me to amazing things like the swimming/sauna/spa place at Spa Hotel Eden (9th Nov), the Ice Hockey match of Oulu Karpat vs Espoo Blues (which Karpat won) (on 14 Dec) and even invited me in to a father's day celebration (on 10th Nov).

3) Independence Day March-past - Finns celebrate their Independence Day on 6th December 2013 and I was part of the march past in Oulu! With torches in hand, we walked on forward, past the Oulu 10 building and past all major landmarks and into the graveyards, to commemorate the dead.

4) Bike fixing - Because we were cheapos and because we saw loads of spare parts around the building, 6 of us SEP-ers sat down to build 3 bikes in the middle of Autumn :)

5) Start of University Year Ceremonies and Celebrations - These were grand events, which only can be described by pictures. So go see my picture albums!

Alright. So that's probably the end of my SEP travel diary - I am truely blessed to be able to meet so many wonderful people during my SEP...

END OF TRAVEL REFLECTIONS

Well...as some of you reading this blog post may already know, immediately after I came back from SEP, I discovered that some people have been hiding dreadful news from me while I was at SEP. I only can pray and hope that this situation may be reversed in the year of 2014.

Before I end this post, I would like to review my goals of 2013 and set some new 2014 goals.

In 2013...

1) I aimed to keep up my run schedule and I did (save during SEP, when it was too cold to run)

2) I aimed to improve academically and I did

3) I aimed to keep up my eye exercise schedule and end the year with eyesight intact and I did

4) I aimed to do one act of goodness everyday and well...I'm not sure if I did...but I tried...

5) I aimed to spend more time with family and I didn't

6) I aimed to reduce stress and I did

7) I aimed to cut down on internet activities and I didn't

So in 2014...

1) I shall maintain my run schedule even whilst going on IA.

2) I shall continue to improve academically and sacrifice everything necessary to reach this goal.

3) I shall keep up my study schedules and timetables to keep graduate school applications on track.

4) I shall keep up my eye exercise schedules, control and limit my food intake to keep my illness at bay, so as to ensure that no vomiting or nausea signs occur in school or at work.

5) I shall aim to spend more time at home, helping my mum with chores.

6) I shall aim to not alienate friends and keep up my social life, meeting new people, not turning into a social hermit.

7) I shall aim to make 10 new friends this year.

So that's all for the yearly post. Have a great year everyone and may everyone stay healthy and fit in the year to come!

~4:07 pm

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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Well...guess what? Today, I am finally 21!

When I was younger, I would always think about being older, being 21. But now that I'm 21, somehow I feel like I want to be younger, stress-free, happy.

Either way though, I think this 21st birthday of mine has been a really huge change from my past birthdays.

As usual, my birthday is celebrated without hooha, just the way I like it - I had my own private time and had my own self-pamper-absorb-love time. This 21st birthday might have been a wee bit better with presents here with me in Oulu, but I guess I can live with opening those presents when I get back home.

I guess my 21st birthday will be memorable simply because I spent it in a foreign land - in Finland, in a little state called Oulu and in the little town of Linnanmaa, with nature, snow and wondrous SEP-ers.

The SEP-ers here with me have been really awesome :) On 24th October, they surprised me by hiding in my room (Rachel, who had my spare key, opened the door into my room) whilst I was bathing and mymy, wasn't I shocked to see them all there when I finished bathing. Then Zemin baked a really yummy chocolate nutella cake as a double birthday surprise for me and Yangyi. So it was WOW :DDD

Tomorrow, I will be heading to Germany (Stuttgart, Heidelberg, Rottenberg, Frankfurt, Mannheim) to see Priscilia :) Then it'll be off to Tallinn, Estonia.

I really think that SEP is spoiling me. I am being over-exposed to the European culture here and it's really wonderful - so far it's been Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris, London, Helsinki, Oulu, Mokki, St Petersburg, Stockholm...the list will go on! <3 europe="" p="">
Oh and I must mention that in Oulu, I have been meeting the Makela family who are my kummi family, and they are really great and fun :) I really think I've learnt alot from them and lingonberry pie with reindeer meat is a super yummy Finnish meal - can't wait for my next meeting with them!

Cheers~

~6:20 am

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Friday, August 02, 2013

It's August 2nd, 2013 and I've been living on Earth for about 20 years and a little more now. Soon, I will be 21. Yet, the more I live, the less I know about the world. Pain, loss, anguish were never part of my childhood. Then again, brotherly & sisterly love and friendship were rare commodities that I came to know thoroughly only when I grew up.

Sure, my 20 years have been dotted with achievements. But experience has shown me that achievements are just one liners on transcripts and pieces of papers to be kept in files. The emotional things are what that's important in life. How many good friends do I have? How many relationships do I have? How many family members can I count on? How many people will miss me when I'm gone?

I remember the smiles of some people I used to know. And here I pray for the safety and well-being of a few others in the world who I have come to know and love. Please don't become yet another entry into the locked diary of names who have left me and moved on. Please don't.

---

I have completed an internship at A*Star's Institute of Materials Research and Engineering, made a few more friends and gotten to know more about the research field. CP, GO, Milk, Melamine, Derivatives, Probes - these are just some of the terminology which I have gotten to know better. Not to mention all the pipetting, machinery etc.

---

I embark on a journey to the other side of the world, to the land of Santa Clauses, Reindeers and the Northern Lights. I promise to take in all the sights and sounds, living my life to the fullest. I will not have regrets, because I will have seen the world and all that it holds.

Singapore--> Amsterdam--> Brussels--> Paris--> London--> Helsinki--> Oulu

Take me safely to my destination, let me live the life that others couldn't.

---

After my journey to the other side of the world, I hope to come back and do some real life practice in Chemical Engineering. To industry I go - let me work and live the life I believe I would enjoy.

---

I return to complete my Engineering degree and work my way up to the top, to Masters, to PhD and beyond.

---

Believe in me because I try, I struggle and I soar. I soar not on my own hopes and dreams, but I harbour those of others. I will fulfill the unfulfilled, live the unlived and excel forever more. Watch me.

I miss you. It is times like these when I remember you. And you. And you. I will fight on because of the many 'you-s' in my life. You have inspired me, and I will fight in your name.

~9:42 pm

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Sunday, March 24, 2013

Dear Blog,

I think I'm becoming more vulgar and uncouth as I get on with university life - I wonder if this is a positive or a negative change.

It might be a positive change because this means I'm bottling less inside of me and doing exactly as the psychologist recommended - to find people to confide in, to find outlets for stress.

On the flipside, it might be a negative change since this means that I am declining in class, becoming more "ah lian" like.

Hmm. This leaves alot of room for thought.

Anyway, let's do a little bit of updating since I've finally come to this space.

Well, the past few weeks have been really hectic and busy. The lucky thing is that I can see my hard work paying off, which gives me the strength to continue. I am also glad that I am not as susceptible to getting hurt as per the previous semester, when I broke down every week. Life's great, or at least for the time being. But of course, there are projects - there are ALWAYS projects.

I would also like to report on my progress with my pet project, the mentoring programme :) I finally feel that I've made a difference in someone's life. Whether it's for the better or the worse, I think this relationship is here to stay. Youths are my absolute interest.

Increasingly, I begin to discover that I love to teach - I wonder if I can proceed on to teach in an actual public school in time to come - but first, let me gain some knowledge and some industrial experience. After I'm done with gaining industrial experience, I will jump to teaching. Just you wait.

---

I end with Geoffrey Hill's 'For the unfallen'

I.
Against the burly air I strode,
crying the miracles of God.

And first I brought the sea to bear
Upon the dead weight of the land;
And the waves flourished at my prayer,
The rivers spawned their sand.

And where the streams were salt and full
The tough pig-headed salmon strove,
Ramming the ebb, in the tide’s pull,
To reach the steady hills above.

II.
The second day I stood and saw
the osprey plunge with triggered claw,
feathering blood along the shore,
to lay the living sinew bare.

And the third day I cried: “Beware
The soft-voiced owl, the ferret’s smile,
The hawk’s deliberate stoop in air,
Cold eyes, and bodies hooped in steel,
Forever bent upon the kill.”

---
Gogogo, you can do it, because you have done this before.

~9:35 am

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Saturday, December 29, 2012

It's been a long year, with many key milestones and events crossed.

In recap, this year has been a difficult one, not only because of higher academic rigour (i.e. I took 6 NUS modules per semester this year - which is crazy, which I think I'll try not to do again) but also because of the emotional rigour.

Emotionally, love strings broke this year. I've seen the last moments of life of a beloved grandparent and heard of two suicide cases which were somehow related to people who have appeared in my life.
Lacrima mortis, funerals and rites. 3 things I've learnt about in detail by myself this year.

This year has also been a really trying one, filled with tears. I think there was a point in time when I was totally depressed & had clammed up entirely to friends and family. Nothing would go into my mind and everything seemed bleak. That was the time for which I have to say thank you to everyone who appeared and took time to understand me, took time to comfort me.

I remember crying into the night, I remember crying into my pillow, I remember welling up in tears and scaring the hell out of my parents. Stress kicks in, and nothing else can compare.

Things I remember crying about includes stuff I mentioned above, results, how I had a mind block and couldn't write a single thing for the essays I was supposed to turn in, mental trauma and physical woes.

Which brings me to the other big issues which I suffered from this year (or at least the later half of this year).

In June, during preparation for CSC Camp, I managed to suffer a cut on my right baby toe, which effectively split my feet into 4 toes and that 1 toe. Thank goodness that made a full recovery, but you can still see the mark :)

In July, I suffered from something known as cornea abrasion (which is of course another topic I'm an expert in now). Basically, cornea abrasion is a cut that a patient suffers on the eyeball. I cut my eyeball by accident - I don't remember how exactly I did it, but I think a finger just poked my eye. The result of that was a flurry of "ow I can't see", visits to the GP behind my house and visits to NUH & the Emergency Department. Well, as all the yellow stain tests have shown - my eye has made a full recovery - not even a scar, says the NUH doctor who treated me.

Now...in December this year, when I went back on suspicion of something wrong with my eye, I was told something new - I was at high risk of something dangerous called retina detachment (yes, I have researched this thoroughly too). This is a dangerous condition, which may result in eventual blindness - I show certain signs such as floaters, but I've my fingers crossed that this does not progress. I don't ever want to be blind, to be at the mercy of others.

But anyway, as a result of this diagnosis, I've been given an appointment with the retinal specialist next year. Isn't that an awesome thing to look forward to in 2013? Well, another implication is that I'm now officially banned from high speed sports activities and ball games such as badminton or netball. GRR. Well, at least the eye doctor said I could continue to run. For that, I'm thankful. I wouldn't know what to do if even running was taken away from me.

Oh and as a result of this visit to the eye doctor, I got a new pair of spectacles made and a haircut too. Makeover ftw~

Not to mention, I've a recurring migraine problem that is so persistent - started from June this year and hasn't ended...It got so bad during the exam period that I was vomitting every single morning before exams and couldn't stomach any breakfast. Well, I can only hope that this gets better too.

Another thing that makes 2012 stand out from others was my commitment to CCA and friends.

2012 marks the year that I have made many friends within NUS. Friends in Chemical Engineering who I can call on to support me in times of need, Friends in NUS Students Community Service Club who know me inside out, my craziness and all.

I must thank 3 groups of people who have always been there: Pretty Ladies, DDs and PRSSVX. Within these 3 groups are people I treasure and will treasure for life. They are people I would probably invite to share my milestones with - they are people I can count on.

Of course, there are others like those in ChE, my beloved CYS comm, E9-ers, random CSC individuals who can always be counted on.

2012 has made me see that I am part of something larger - I have friends who care for me, treasure me and want me in their lives and them in mine. Finally, I think I have found a place where I belong.

2012 has also made me see that I am part of a larger society. Volunteering in CSC and CYS has never been so real before. This year, I truly got to meet some of the "real" and "hardcore" youths that I have always wanted to help. Thank you for giving me that chance.

2012 has given me opportunities to shine - VE in E9 and Pub in NUS i.Volunteer Volunteer Symposium - they have rekindled my passion to serve and I must say that I can only look forward to more.

Thank you everyone who have made 2012 memorable and remarkable. Thank you for letting me into your lives. Thank you for helping me in my dark days (which 2012 certainly had alot - I've never felt so down nor depressed before). Indeed, the sun shall come up.

Well, there is still a few more days to 2012, but I'll be off to Genting Malaysia. For once in my life, I'll be counting down in a foreign country. I'm certainly looking forward to doing that! It's going to be great and I can already feel it in my veins!

===

Since I probably won't be in Singapore to type out all my 2013 dreams and goals, I guess I shall do it in advance.

2013 is going to be amazing year. 2013 is the year which I will be going on internship and hopefully also on exchange to a yet unknown location. It is also the year which I will finish the second half of my term as RVP vice-chairperson of Clementi Youth Sparks. It is also the year where I will pass on this baton. Coincidentally, it is also going to be the year when I will turn 21. Whether I will be in Singapore or overseas has yet to be ascertained. But I will still turn 21 next year.

In 2013...
- I shall keep up my run schedule despite increasing workload and commitments. I want to be able to run twice a week.
- I shall work harder to improve academically and make any sacrifices necessary to reach this goal worthwhile.
- I shall keep up my eye exercise schedule and finish the year injury-free and with my eyesight intact.
- I shall aim to do at least one act of goodness everyday.
- I shall aim to spend more time at home with the family by making a conscious effort not to overpack my schedules.
- I shall try to improve myself by making conscious efforts to reduce stress - be it forcing myself to go running, setting aside green & meditation time etc.
- I shall cut down on Facebooking and YouTubing activities, limiting myself to about 10 to 12 hours per week.

That's probably the bulk of it! All the best to everyone who has made your New Year Resolutions!

~3:25 pm

* * *

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Regrets, self-hate.

Tears welling up in my eyes and my voice is caught in my throat. I have no interest to utter a word anymore, I am just lost in an abyss and my only avenue of speech is writing.

---------------

I've always thought that as the eldest in the family, eldest grandchild, eldest anything, there were duties associated.

I should have and I could have. But I was undone by a single taxi ride. I could have been on time, I could have made it. I could have had the chance.

I'm sorry I didn't fulfill my role, I'm sorry I didn't fulfill my responsibilities. Can you forgive me?

I saw your lacrima mortis when I visited you last. Next I knew, you were in a little glass casing. It didn't look like you. It didn't look like you at all. At least the photo in front was you at your best, you at your prime.

Now I'll never have the chance to see you again, because I missed you. By a matter of 5 minutes.

I hate myself. I regret it. I'm sorry.

~8:58 pm

* * *

Friday, October 26, 2012

I feel loved today.

How I spent the day:

1st half an hour - Talking to friend
Sleeping
Woke up at 8am to print slides for tutorial presentation
Went to school at 10am to meet the professor for MT3001 project
Had lunch at 12nn, whereby we discussed tutorial presentation
Had tutorial presentation from 1pm to 2pm
Went to central library to print notes
Had CN2121 tutorial from 3pm to 4pm
Had CM1502 lecture from 5pm to 6pm
From 6pm to 7pm, had Symposium Facilitators briefing
From 7pm to 8pm, kena tricked by E9 people to go to clubroom
From 8pm to 10.30pm, outing with DDs
Went home and had more fun with the family.

Oh the day is over.

On a happier note, love the presents I got, especially:

My sister gave me a Starbucks card wrapped in 3 issues worth of newspapers, into a parcel the size of a bag.

The other sister gave me a box of pen refills 0.0

Dad and Mum gave me a collection of chocolates!

Ritata card and cupcakes from E9 people, which I got after being tricked by Wynne and the gang to go to clubroom to get stuff for CYS 0.0

Porn's and waffle cakes from DDs :D

Great day!! :D

Thanks also to the million people who wished me Happy Birthday today :D

~12:06 am

* * *

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dear Diary,

I am twenty years old today. I have lived twenty years on Earth and have made twenty years' worth of friends and known my family for twenty years. But still I wonder what do I mean to them - friends, family, foes.

I have made my mark on Earth - Google can identify me and my footprint. I have my achievements which speak louder than me. I have my accomplishments which scream to the world that I exist.

This time last year, I was having a totally different birthday, a totally different life. I must have had a paradigm shift. I must have grown older. I must have grown wiser.

As I walk into a new day, a new dawn, I scream: "Seize the Day!"

~12:09 am

* * *

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

“There is no fear. Absolutely no fear. When one lives without fear, one cannot be broken. When one lives with fear one is broken before one begins to live.”

“About life:
"It is not complicated unless I make it so. It is not difficult unless I allow it to be. A second is no more than a second, a minute no more than a minute, a day no more than a day. They pass. All things and all time will pass. Don't force or fear, don't control or lose control. Don't fight and don't stop fighting. Embrace and endure. If you embrace, you will endure.”

“Let things be, let yourself be, let everything be and accept it as it is. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

“There are no words and there is no singing, but the music has a voice. It is an old voice and a deep voice, like the stump of a sweet cigar or a shoe with a hole. It is a voice that has lived and lives, with sorrow and shame, ecstasy and bliss, joy and pain, redemption and damnation. It is a voice with love and without love. I like the voice, and though I can't talk to it, I like the way it talks to me. It says it is all the same, Young Man. Take it and let it be.”

“Be smart, be strong, be proud, live honorably and with dignity, and just hold on.”

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

~5:08 pm

* * *

Sunday, August 12, 2012

It's time to get my feelings together, to prepare myself for another gruelling year. It has been promised in the stars that this year will be harder than the last. I will hold on, I will hold out, I will triumph.

As usual, I find myself in busyasabee mode even before school starts. Commitment to CCAs, commitment to jobs, commitment to family, commitment to what I stand for.

This year, I start afresh, on a clean slate, ready for the future. This year, I take on more than I've done before. This year, I do modules meant for the upper years, commitment meant for the upper ups. With the willpower that I have in me, I will prevail.

All I'm glad of is that along the way, I've made some wonderful friends who are my source of comfort when I am down. I know exactly who to go to for counselling, I know who to lament to about the world, I know who will always be there for me.

Thank you for the fulfillment I get from all that I do.

Thank you for the people I cherish and for the friends I've yet to meet.

Rewind, Recharge, Restart. Rita.

~9:51 pm

* * *

Friday, July 13, 2012

I look around
In that abyss of dreams
Thinking what can I do
In search of new themes.

The themes are vague
But not undead
Still I cannot forget
All those that's been said.

I try to push the button
To execute the delete
It doesn't work
Because the fingers don't heed.

I struggle to find words to express
All I know is that I wonder
If I should delete a past
No matter how it patters.

Wasn't right
Wasn't wrong
Alive awake abate
Just a song.

~1:00 pm

* * *

Friday, July 06, 2012

Left without a heart
Left without a soul
Admittedly, abrupt
But practicalities dictate, just as practicalities do
Continuance depends on things working out
I've always felt that it's about the final product.

Two hands to clap where one cannot
Two legs to walk where one cannot
Feelings were never where they were
I apologise
No matter how lame that sounds
No matter how juvenile it sounds to your ears.

Now that all's been said and done
All I can say is that I've learnt
How never to trust again
Or how different people are with time
I am zenned
I live in a world where I don't care anymore.

I am a bottle of ink, used up and left empty.
With ink stains on the outside.
I'm tired, I don't want to play.

Now I'm just the blackened devil of a bottle.
Oh wait, that bottle is filled with guilt.

Guilt, is that what I'm left with after these time?
I think so, for the more I see and hear, the less I remember.

Screw this, I need my medicine.

~11:24 pm

* * *

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I sense that I'm going back to the hypomaniac stage again, just like before.
Stressed out and deprived of sleep, all I can say is that I think I've gone mad.
I should honestly sleep more. Maybe I should start sleeping at 9 pm. Just maybe.

As before, I realise that the only way I can solve it is if I type out my thoughts and straighten them out. In a blog, in a blog.

I don't know what triggered it or why this occurs.
All I know is that in this period of time, I need to keep away from people as much as possible. I'm better off in front of a laptop than in front of a person. I'm likely to snap at people and drop back to quietness.

I am plugged into my music - I can drown everything.
I am not dead - I can shout out from the rooftop.
I am plugged into my music - I can drown everything.
I am not dead - I can shout out from the rooftop.
I am plugged into my music - I can drown everything.
I am not dead - I can shout out from the rooftop.
I am plugged into my music - I can drown everything.
I am not dead - I can shout out from the rooftop.
I am plugged into my music - I can drown everything.
I am not dead - I can shout out from the rooftop.

I alternate. So, keep away, keep away and keep away.

====================================================

This is so deja vu, I'll never bother to care about anyone again. I vow that I'll never within the next 3 years. Feelings fade, expectations fail and I'm left disappointed. I am so desensitised, I don't hurt anymore. I'll only hurt everyone in my way and I'll hurt you too. Go away.

====================================================

Are you, are you 
Coming to the tree
 Where they strung up a man they say murdered three?
Strange things did happen here 
No stranger would it seem
 If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you 
Coming to the tree
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee?
Strange things did happen here 
No stranger would it seem
 If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you 
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free?
Strange things did happen here 
No stranger would it seem
 If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you 
Coming to the tree
 Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me...
Strange things did happen here 
No stranger would it seem
 If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

~1:09 am

* * *

Monday, June 18, 2012

I don't think i could count up
All of the horrible ways
That you put my whole world
Into a foggy, delirious haze

Instead i block them out
With the words "I hate you"
But one thing i know
Is that those words are not true

I tell my friends you're evil
And that I'll never care again
But how can i walk away
From someone who use to be a friend?

I try to fall in love with others
So my heart won't beat for only you
But when i come back around
You're the one i end up coming to

I'm tired of saying i hate you
I'm sick of acting like it's true
Because after the rain is done
I only see your face shining through

Hating you is exhausting
It beats the hell out of me
Loving you is also confusing
But I'll do that willingly

--X325xRunawayTrainx103x --

It's final but it's my fault. Friends, Foe, Finality.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

~12:31 pm

* * *

I wonder how many people still read this blog of mine. I think it's a round number of zero, with the occasional passer-by. I don't care about who reads this blog anymore anyway. I'm over it. I just need a ranting ground and this is it.

I must say that today yields a barrel of confusion. Maybe because everything came too quick, too fast, too sudden, I'm left with nothing.

Physical Pain (Laceration)
Heart Pain
Mind Pain (Headache)

It's probably no wonder that I'm still up now at an ungodly hour with nothing much to do. I just can't sleep and I can't do anything.

When I sleep, I'm haunted by all three pains. When I wake, I can't sleep.

Life's just sad that way.

They say happiness is a short-lived thing. I only realised that today.

I must have caused hurt to too many people in my life. Maybe I should just stop making friends. I should stop making friends, so I won't get hurt. I should stop. I should stop. I must stop.

I think I've lost myself along this route, I need to find myself back. This is not the person I know, this is not who I know.

Damn it's 2am. I think I'm going to stay up all night. Curses.

Speaking of which, my feet still looks like Frankenstein and my head still spins. I wonder what colour is my heart, because I can't see one anymore.

I disgust myself with all my antics. I'm never going to let those buckets behind my eyes out. I'll never let anyone see them, unless they are blood red tears.

~2:02 am

* * *

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

The more I go along, the more I wonder if 'time cures everything' exists.
The more I go along, the more I wonder if everything said was true.
The more I go along, the more I wonder if I made a mistake.
The more I go along, the more I wonder if this is the mistake.

I'm living a deja vu of what happened before.
Yet living each day like never before.
Perhaps the world is safer without me, like before.

Alive, awake, needs a break.
Signals alarms, alarm bells, smoke alarms.

Injury, blood, pain.

~4:04 pm

* * *

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Fingers Apart

You know how the fingers apart works
You know how they don't piece
You know how the world overcomes
You know how~

Worlds out there
People starving in their way
Friends and families, tear
Earthquakes and tsunami a day

The grasses grow far apart
In their world a finesse of sorts
Rain pours, trees bend but
A tart width is all divides retorts

The left hand and the right hand
Similar yet different
One coarse one smooth, tanned
A flagrate cut and burnt.

~2:32 pm

* * *

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Here to keep the blog alive :)

Places I Belong
Someday I had thought you'd see
More colours than the red blue yellow inside of me
I thought you were a muse
But no, it was all a ruse
There are gaps between my fingers
I struggle to comprehend
So close together, just mesomers
Which I look at - in my den
Alive beyond despair
Quotations all needing repair
Cushions which line the walls
Looking nothing like any mall
The dripping in the tower
Tall, narrow, smelt sour
The sides falling inwards
All I'm left with are innards

~8:54 pm

* * *

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"Show Me What I'm Looking For"

Wait, I'm wrong

Should have done better than this

Please, I'll be strong

I'm finding it hard to resist

So show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost

Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you

I'll pay any cost

Save me from being confused

Show me what I'm looking for

Show me what I'm looking for, oh, Lord

Don't let go

I've wanted this far too long

Mistakes become regrets

I've learned to love abuse

Please show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost

Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you

I'll pay any cost

Save me from being confused

Show me what I'm looking for

Show me what I'm looking for, oh, lord

Show me what I'm looking for

Show me what I'm looking for

Show me what I'm looking for

Save me, I'm lost

Oh, Lord, I've been waiting for you

I'll pay any cost

Just save me from being confused

Wait, I'm wrong

I can't do better than this

I'll pay any cost

Save me from being confused

Show me what I'm looking for

Show me what I'm looking for

Show me what I'm looking for

Show me what I'm looking for, oh, Lord

Alot of stuff have changed within the past one year, I just wonder how much more will my life change.
I think just two years ago, I wouldn't have known the person I am today.
More than character, more than achievements, more than words.

Show me what I'm looking for, Show me what I'm looking for, Show me what I'm looking for.

Till then, I have me. And my books :) Chiong ah till May! :)

~10:45 pm

* * *

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

The palette of predicaments
The restlessness of ruin
The souls cried asleep by these thoughts
Of things that could have been.

Solutions fly at me here
Alongside those problems
Decision time is near
I'm sorry thou may suffer burns.

Pain on the inside
Strong on the outside
Turmoil and confusion
What may be or will be.

All I really want is one word.

Carefree.

~11:44 am

* * *

Friday, November 04, 2011

The freezing breeze kissing thy limbs
Chilling bones down to the core
In the darkness, groping for a beam
Leaves of decay, that thy saw.

The blackness envelops the scene
All scratchy discs and resounding moans
That hardly makes a din
New scars to get through the lone.

A fallen star from the skies
Trying hard to stay alight
Alas, swan song and byes
Cannot keep itself bright.

~9:18 am

* * *

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I can't believe it's that time of the year again, where I'll feel older by one year and hopefully more mature.

Somehow, birthdays seem like the best time to reconnect with old friends. When your birthday comes, suddenly everyone is your friend and wishes you "Happy Birthday", no matter how far the distance. Today, with the invention of Social Networking Sites such as Facebook, distances matter not. Just in the span of 1 night (i.e. 12mn to 6am) a rough number of 70 friends have wished me a Happy Birthday, with some as far as Taiwan, UK, US, just to name a few. It's just simply amazing to note how people can connect over such distances.

Moreover, this analysis brings me to ask the question: What have I done in these past 19 years? and how will the next 19 years be?

Truth be told, I remember little about my pre 6 years old days, only that I lived on the 4th floor in a little apartment in Jurong, surrounded by friendly neighbours who would greet me everyday. I remember 2 key neighbours - one who had their door opposite mine, who had a huge dog and a hugely interesting maid and kid; one who have many kids of different age, who all became my caretakers and buddies in my younger days.

Then in primary school, I was characterised as a figure that melted and moulded into the wall. I was quiet and mostly guai, hence making it as a monitress and then a prefect.

In secondary school, I began to open up, finding friends who were of my type and sort, doing crazy stuff together and doing projects together. I don't know what I'd have done without them. Secondary school was a turning point in my life, when I finally realised I actually wanted a career in science and not in arts. It was guided along the way by amazing teachers and friends who had the confidence in me. I'm just glad I had them to help me along.

In JC, I found friends for life in DDs and my experiences further shaped me into who I am today.

Birthdays represent milestones and I'm glad to say I've cleared 19 years' worth.

I'm ready for the next phase of university life. So bring it on!

On a side note, I'd like to thank everyone who gave me presents this year - I seem to have gotten quite a haul, in comparison to the last few years :)

Cheers :)

~11:02 pm

* * *

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Ahhh. I can't believe I survived one whole day in school with wet socks and shoes. I wanted to take them off in between lessons but then I thought: "Where am I going to put them?" With that thought, I decided the socks and shoes are better off left on my feet :D

I wonder why the weather is so topsy turvy in Singapore. Why it is raining every morning and looking gloomy everyday...

Weather is expected to be stormy from Tuesday till Friday?! Nooooooo~

University is starting to feel extremely routine. I really need to break out of this routine and do something different. But what? Hmm...according to advice from the family, I should not crowd my timetable and I should FOCUS on my modules - I've been trying, but given my character, I want to do so much more...

Haiz. This sounds like an argument I had with the psychologist a few months ago...yesyesyes, I am leaning Bipolar, doing too much. I KNOW. But now I feel I'm doing nothing. I need to live...

Current commitments still feel low, compared to what I'm used to:

- Attending university
- Tutoring a sec 4 on a weekly basis
- Com Service Club Clubhouse
- Ventures

Too low. Too low. Too low. Ah wells. Let me just get the academics sorted out first :| On a happier note, I've finished self-studying the entire Mathematics syllabus required for my module, save the last topic :) Gogogogogo~ Next, to master CN1111

"The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world."

~9:56 pm

* * *

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I've seen the side where grass is mown
I've seen the side across the bridge
In patches of green and brown
Trees tall and midge.

We don't look back the way we came
Or where we're going - it's the same
My life's a picture frame
Displayed with glass panes.

In anticipation of tomorrow
In defence of today
In the fields of crops
Think not of yesterday.

All on this same boat ride
Follow the same tide
Enjoying the same breeze
Or the same unknown mist.

Deep within the self lies
Despair of how time flies
Even if it ends in a sigh
I shall not cry.

The future is shrouded
The past is non-existant
If this is moulded
Then just experience, non-resistant.

~11:01 am

* * *

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Life recently has been a great challenge.
Life recently has been a amazing fun.
Life recently has been a huge milestone.
Life recently has been simply repetitive.

I'm thinking, still thinking and wondering about the many choices and chances I have been given.

Risks, Fears, Hindrances.

Quotes page 188, Felder's: When no information on a particular physical property of a substance can be found in the literature or when the property must be known with a precision greater than that provided by general estimation formulas, the only recourse is to determine the property experimentally.

Perhaps it's time I tried something new again, be it mentoring juniors, tutoring, volunteering, working, making friends, and others.

So much is on my mind.

~10:45 pm

* * *

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Aucun mot ne peut éventuellement expliquer mes sentiments actuels. Je suis si inutile, parfois dans l'adversité. Zut, c'est juste irritant lorsque vous faites une faute d'inattention et le sentiment que tout est parti. Oui, ce n'est pas facile. Mais comment pourriez-vous faire des erreurs si négligemment?

Gah. Je vais juste avoir à attendre patiemment les résultats. Et oh. qui savait ce qui s'est passé, mais moi-même.

~7:01 pm

* * *

Sunday, September 11, 2011

C'est une nuit sombre et lugubre, sans étoiles, sans lune. J'ai regardé par la fenêtre et il n'y avait pas une âme. Une moto tout zippé passé avec une forte vroom. Puis, ce fut le silence. Un silence qui a été ponctuée seulement par la musique en plein essor d'à côté.

Ah.

Quel que soit le sera.

~10:03 pm

* * *

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I want to fight the authority, I want to fight the authority.

But the authority is there for a reason and thus I cannot.

Grr...

Gah. "Girl age 19 dies from being forced to be antisocial".

Tsk.

Okay, since the blog is a public domain, I shall clam up.

Life's been weird so far...lectures are getting weirder too.

Aish. There are so many things which you have to do to keep on top of the workload.

I actually can feel the workload now...

Okay. Shall go do my work now!

~9:00 pm

* * *

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

8 months have passed really quickly and we're now into week 2 of the new semester.
Somehow, alot has changed in 8 months and looks set to change even more...

Lectures and tutorials with new people and new friends shall take time to get used to...shall save all those flawed arguments of mine for my own pondering and self-reflection...

Let's just give a brief summary of what I'm taking this semester and how does everything look like:

CN1111: extreme cheemness, including all the A level Maths stuff like standard deviation etcetc...
MA1505: Functions, Graphs, Differentiation, Integration and the holy L'hopital's rule (took super duper long to figure this one out)
EG1413: taught by a lecturer named: "Happy Goh", this is one of my happy modules :)
IT1005: lecturers for this module are super young and interesting. I just hope I have computing talent :)
MKT1003X: A bag of worms. Who knows what will happen? Everyone keeps telling me that this module is difficult and it's not ace-able. Well, I laugh in the face of fear. I shall attempt~~

Alrights. Heading off to CN1111 lecture in a bit. Till next time :)

~10:15 am

* * *

Thursday, July 28, 2011

You never know what anguish really is or frustration really is until you go through a bidding round for university modules. It's utter hellish, with crazy coordination required...I'm just saying the timetable is hellish.

Tree
TreeBy Nikki Grimes Nikki Grimes
1.
Ear to trunk, I hear
Tree sighing and dreaming of
lights, tinsel, angel.
2.
Her boughs bending, still
she welcomes Snow’s company—
temporary friend.

~9:31 pm

* * *

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Hear ye Hear ye.

Today is the day I have signed 8 years of my life to academia.
I woke early today and went to A*Star for deed signing at 9am. It's finally in black and white.

Maybe it's because we've had so many pre-departure programmes and activities that the signing didn't seem such a big thing/big deal anymore. I realised that I felt numb after signing.

A few years ago, in fact, 4 years ago, I could never have dreamed of being a scholar, much less an A*Star one. It was such a dream. 4 years ago, I couldn't even have told you I was interested in Science.

I guess that's why they say that people can change and change for the better. The turning point of my life was Secondary 3, the year I decided to take fate and destiny into my hands and participate in so much more. Sure, I must have burnt alot of time and effort on weird projects in my secondary school and junior college days. I didn't know the value of the projects at that time, but I am super thankful for the opportunities given.

Research at NTU SPMS has taught me so much and in a way, exposed and given me food for thought on the research life that I would like to meet/partake in. Thank you for Dr Phan Anh Tuan and Dr Samir Amrane for the headstart into the brilliant and shining path of research.

Of course, all these would not have been possible without the numerous teachers who have helped me along the way. Mr Chow & Mrs Wong who wrote and vetted my resumes and testimonials, I definitely owe you two. Then there are a variety of teachers along the way who have shaped me in character & resilience and given me the chance to do so much more - Mr Azmi of SS & the various other SS teachers, all my secondary and JC teachers, as well as my dearest Ventures and Scouts teacher i/cs such as Ms Ang. Because every project that I undertook has helped me in its own small little way, I have inadvertly met and been touched by many different educators, stretching from my primary school days all the way to JC days and beyond.

At this juncture, all I can say is thank you and that I'll do my best to live up to your expectations and beliefs in me. Quoting & adapting scouts promise: "On my honour, I promise to do my best, to do my duty to God and to the Republic of Singapore and A*Star, to help other people and to keep the Scouts Law".

There is a tough 8 years awaiting in front of me and I plan to see it all and live it all. I want to excel and do my best, with my zest and perseverance leading the way. I can and want to do things well and I will do so.

8 years of academia is awaiting and I am all ready for it.

~10:03 am

* * *