Weather, Or Not

I just had the unsettling experience of waking up thinking it was Thursday morning and then discovering that it was actually Thursday evening. I had (have!) things to do, and now they are all squeezed and some undoable. If it were morning I would (but wouldn't because there'd be no need) bang my head against the wall, but as it's evening I can't because the neighbors are home and I don't want to freak them out and get the cops called on me. This is all so stupid! How did I get so stupid so fast?

I suppose I should eat dinner and make arrangements for grocery fetching tomorrow, though I don't know how I'll stay awake at the right hours. On the bright side, I'm not freezing in the dark, which I have heard is a problem in some places right now. I'm just a bit chilly and due for some more fog tomorrow. I could probably even boost the heat a bit, since this month's utility bill was a bit smaller than I'd expected, and the forecast is suggesting continued mildness is likely. Take a shot? Why not? Some cheer would be worth a couple of bucks. I should use it while I've still got it. The whole damned state is likely to burn next summer.

Staring at a blank digital page on a cold morning going on three o'clock, wondering what I might say that wouldn't be terribly dull or horribly depressing, and realized there is nothing, so rather than continue sitting in this chair that makes my butt sore I will get in bed and stare into the dimness (darkness is unavailable in my room thanks to the lights in the parking lot of the large condominium next door.) I can't see much tonight anyway, my eyes are so blurry. As I haven't slept in about eleven hours perhaps I'll be able to just crash out anyway. I'm sure that would be for the best.

Trying to get that brain to work. Not having much luck. Friday got lost in it somewhere, and I'm not expecting to find it again. Not even its sad remains. I might have had an nap but don't remember. I know I ate some dinner (a microwaved frozen entrée) because I just finished it half an hour ago. I must let it settle a bit more before attempting to return to sleep.

Friday began with a pretty nice fog, the one thing I remember about it, and today is likely to start off foggy as well. It got very cold overnight, and there might be frost out there, but it isn't light enough to see yet. The high is supposed to be 62, which would make the diurnal range almost thirty degrees, rather extreme for the time of year. A slight touch of winter could make a brief appearance Wednesday, when there is a 24% chance of showers. A pathetic straw to grasp, but it's all we've got for the rest of this pitiful excuse for a winter month. I could have worried less about my utility bill, and even indulged in a bit more heat with little harm to my budget. Hindsight is a wonderfully infuriating thing.

Tuesday and Wednesday managed to come by again, but I didn't interact with them. I just kept to myself, and don't regret it. I stayed asleep for many hours, most of them daylight. I'm finding that I often crave naps just two or three hours after waking up. I also find lying awake in bed much easier than I used to.

It's partly the chilly weather, I'm sure, which makes huddling under warm blankets so much more appealing, but not that alone. I'm also sure that I'm slowing down. Each time I wake after nodding off I think, with a bit of surprise, hey, you still here? I expect that the answer will remain the same every time. At some point I just won't wake up and ask the question.

Why do I always let days get this short before I get my act together anymore? Saturday I let get so short there was none left when I crashed, and nothing accomplished. Today I didn't get out of bed until a bit after noon, and I was going to do some laundry and empty the trash cans, and didn't do anything. Now it's almost midnight and I'm rushing to get this entry done, and I haven't even had dinner yet, though it is on cooking.

I suppose the latter is a small miracle, for these times. I haven't checked the weather report yet either, so I have no idea if tomorrow will be as near balmy as today was. I'm hoping not, savings on the utility bill not withstanding. I'm just missing the feeling of winter, and the mildness is making me fear the arrival of summer. But no time, no time, no time.


( Sunday Verse )

Too many false starts. I keep nodding off, waking up, looking at the clock, and wondering how it got so late. I barely remember the days now. I know I ate something Wednesday, but I can't recall what. I know I slept, but when? Maybe I cat nap dreamed about the future and mistook it for the past. I remember T-Mobile waking me up with an unfamiliar sound at an ungodly hour with a message on my screen wishing me a "happy birthday today!" It was the 14th. My birthday is the 19th. Or is it? I don't recall them sending me a birthday message any earlier year. Am I who I thought I was, or did that guy never exist, or did something turn me/him into something else (me/whoever now?) I/he find myself/himself hoping to turn back into unambiguous me (him?) next time I (really?) sleep. It's late, and one of us is about to do that now. Who will wake up next? Anybody?

Saturday and Sunday were both days of sleep, of not wanting to get out from under the cozy covers, and when I did get out not getting anything done. The days are seeming drear and the nights full of an unserene quiet. Maybe this will change, maybe it won't. Lying abed awake or asleep it doesn't matter. There is just the indeterminate hour passing imperceptibly. Maybe I go back to sleep, maybe I don't. Once it's done I can't tell the difference. At some point I get hungry, and at some point the hunger becomes more unpleasant than eating, then I get up and eat. With luck, the eating makes me sleepy again, and the cycles repeat. How much longer, who knows? I care less every day.


( Late Sunday Verse )

Felt crappy all day Wednesday. Still do. Took an unintentional nap that was also ineffectual. Ate a big dinner that was overeffectual. It's gotten very cold tonight, and I'm going back to bed to warm up under the covers. Maybe my brain will start working again, but probably not. The next four nights will be very cold too. I think I'll be spending a lot of time under the covers. The days will be sunny but chilly. Not my favorite weather, but I can't afford to travel, so I'm stuck with it. But maybe I'll feel less crappy anyway. Probably not.

Monday brought weather, as predicted, and I had to use an umbrella when I went out to the mailbox. There was no mail, but I will consider it virtuous exercise rather than a foolish waste of effort. I heated up Saturday leftovers for dinner, along with Friday leftovers for a side dish. The main Friday leftovers I might have Tuesday night or Wednesday night, but I'll need a fresh side dish. Why must life be so complicated?

Although we could get a bit more rain tonight, Tuesday is supposed to be only partly cloudy, wo I want to get to sleep so I will be done sleeping by the time the sun comes out. I've been spoiled by the foggy and rainy weather we've had lately, with the room being dark or dim every time I wake up, making it easy to get back to sleep. That luxury will be going away over the coming weeks. Adjustment will be difficult, I'm sure.

Oh, midnight.

Oh, I thought I'd done this, but I guess not. Despite a night of often furious storming, and a dark gray morning of nearly imperceptible dawn, Saturday brightened through the afternoon and left us with nearly dry pavement at sunset. I opened the blinds for about three hours of afternoon sunlight to warm the bed. The rain is predicted to return tonight, with more wind, and both Sunday and Monday are still expected to be very wet, but after next Tuesday the forecast is saying no more rain for at least ten days.

This is unfortunate, as the state is overall only at about half normal snowpack levels for this date, with the south in much better shape than the north. January through March is typically the snowiest season, but we need to get started on that accumulation soon. The next couple of days could add some welcome snow, but not enough to catch up to a typical season. The Pacific Northwest and the Rocky Mountain states are also suffering from scant snowfall this year. The problem is that this years rain has been coming from the tropics rather than the north Pacific. Being warmer, tropical storms bring lots of rain but are not cold enough to provide lasting snow. Given that this is a La Nina year, it probably won't get fixed. We could be in for two or three years of drought. It could get ugly.

Tonight's rain hasn't started yet, and I'll probably have to get to sleep before it does. If it's anything like last night though, I'm sure it will wake me up. But dammit, I'm sneezing and my nose has gotten runny again. I hope I didn't get a load of germs with my groceries. Infection is the last thing I need this time of year.