Go ahead, call us crazy, sometimes I think we are. I couldn't turn my mind off and fall asleep the other night, thinking this very thought, "have we lost our minds? Are we really going to do this? Are we capable of doing this? This will change our lives forever. We are not promised a 'perfect ending.' We could end up with broken hearts and grieving again. What will this look like for us financially? Are we crazy?!?!?"
Then I look at her picture and fragments of her story flutter across my mind, piercing my heart. A picture that God imprinted on my heart months ago, not letting it go. I knew three years ago, in November, that God was calling us to pursue adopting a girl from Ukraine. Matt and I went on a much needed date night, to a worship night at our church. It was a powerful night of worship. Worshipping God through one song, singing over and over again, "Hosanna, Hosanna" God laid the calling so profoundly on my heart to adopt a Ukrainian orphan girl. It was so clear, so easy, so obtainable, there in His presence. So easy for my heart to say yes, "yes, Lord, we will answer your call." I find it no consequence that as I was worshipping "Hosanna" God chose this moment to place His call on my heart.
In Hebrew, Hosanna was originally a cry for help, meaning "Oh, save now!" or "Please save!" The -na suffix in Hebrew expresses intense emotion. Yet eventually Hosanna came in liturgical usage to mean an expression of joy and praise for deliverance granted or anticipated. At its first usage in Psalm 118:25, you can see its orginal meaning: "Save now, I pray, O
Lord;
O Lord, I pray, send now prosperity." (NKJV) Yet throughout the Psalms the word itself began to be used differently, becoming a word of praise for being saved. Naturally, when we think of the word hosanna, we think of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey at Passover, millions of people crowding the city and streets, laying down their cloaks on the road for him, waving palm branches and praising him with the word "Hosanna!" "Hosanna to the Son of Davd!" "Hosanna in the highest!"
"Those from whose lips "Hosanna" rose that day seem to have looked on Jesus as God's anointed one from the house of David of whom the prophets had spoken and through whom they hoped that all their messianic expectations would be fulfilled. However misguided their particular expectations may have been, their actions underscore the theme of the Gospels that Jesus is indeed the promised son of David through whom the redemption announced by God's prophets has come. In him the age-old cry, "Lord, save us, " has become the glad doxology, "Hosanna, " which equals: "Praise God and his Messiah, we are saved."' ("Hosanna" Stek)
As I ponder this transliteration, or transformation of the word Hosanna in Scripture, from beginning as a cry to "Save us now!" to ending as a cry of praise, "Praise God and his Messiah, we are saved!" I can't help but see how perfectly this word fit the calling God was placing on our hearts.
Then we walked out the door, out of His presence, and it was no longer so easy to say "yes." We were bombarded with fears, doubts, and hesitations. We have fought it with every imaginable excuse possible since then. "We are still recovering financially from our first adoption. We are still having difficulties with our first adopted child, how will we handle another? Do we even have enough love within us to love an orphan in the way they need to be loved? We don't have room. We definitely don't have the money to adopt, not even to begin...." The list went on and on. Every time we felt God knocking on our hearts, we added another lock to the door, not willing to even begin to open it.
Then a couple of months ago, I saw her picture and something in my heart connected with the picture. I saw Y's picture on an organization our translator that we had with our first adoption works with, Marina's Kids. One thing this organization does, is provide hosting experiences for Ukrainian orphans. They were trying to find a host family for this girl. God wouldn't let it go, and I kept seeing her picture in my mind. Then one day I saw an update that they had not been able to find a family for this girl. This news hurt my heart, but again, there was no way we could do anything about it. The old list of excuses filed through my mind, plus, she was older than we wanted anyways, another lock on the door secured its place.
Then a couple of weeks later I saw another update, the deadline for finding hosting families had passed, but they were extending it for her, desperate to find her a family. So I sent a message to our translator, asking more about her. She began telling me her story, and my heart broke. While I cannot tell you her story, I can tell you that she is at a crossroads in life. Staring at two roads, one filled with hope, love and family and one markedly barren. Void of family, love and even hope.
Again, overwhelmed by all of our reasons we couldn't, we decided to try to find another host family for her. I got excited in the beginning, when several families said they would be interested in hosting her, I began to think, yes, this is the part we are to play in this girls story. Then, one by one, these families began to say no.
Sunday I was picking up our three year old from the nursery and the daughter of one of the other minister's on staff was working in the nursery. This girl is incredibly sweet, loves my boys and I love her. I have told Matt a couple of times that we should just steal her for our own. As I was talking with her, it dawned on me, this girl and Y are about the same age. If I could love one, why not the other?Looking at this girl in the nursery, some of the locks on our door began to unlock.
As I walked down the hallway to the children's worship area, another thought dawned on me, she could share a room with my sister. I think Matt was taken rather aback when I walked in the door and told him "Y could share a room with my sister!" So I talked with my sister who quickly said, "of course!" and another lock fell off our door.
All at once, I felt an overwhelming urge to just "trust him." As we trusted him, the locks fell and God began to pry the door we had so tightly shut, open.
So I sent some messages to our translator and the person stateside in charge of hosting. Were we too late? Could Y still be hosted? Yes, yes she could. I asked even more questions about Y, and as I read our translator's responses my heart again ached for this girl. I gave the phone to Matt to read the messages, and told him, "go ahead, say no to this." I knew there was no way either of us could say no, especially when we both felt God was making it so clear to say "yes."
So I texted my family. Honestly, I was expecting them to say, "are you all crazy?" or "I don't think this is a wise move." Yet we received only support. The door opened a little further.
As hosting wasn't on our radar, it also wasn't in our budget. While we didn't want to use money as a reason in making a decision, it costs $2,400 just to host a child. This amount covers all of the expenses incurred getting the appropriate documents and travel expenses within country and to and from the U.S. So we prayed, and God answered, throwing our door wide open! Within just a couple of days the cost of hosting was covered!
Looking back, I can see how stubborn we were. I mean, God is literally bringing a Ukrainian orphan to our door because we were too stubborn and fearful to trust him and his plan. My heart hurts at this realization. I could write another post entirely on how I, someone who once trusted so easily, got to this point. But for now, I beg his forgiveness, for not trusting, for not stepping out of my comfort zone when he first called me to act three years earlier. However, I can clearly see how even now God is using our three years of doubts and fears for His purpose and His glory.
So let me introduce you to Project Hosanna. Just as the meaing of Hosanna transformed in the Bible, from a desperate plea for salvation, to a praise becuase He has saved, our hope and prayer is the same will take place in Project Hosanna. Many clearly see that orphans need a family and the love and support they can get from one, but I see the need for more. I am living the need for more. The love Matt and I can give our first adopted child has never been and never will be enough to heal his brokenness. Only the perfect love of our Jesus can restore his heart, and the same holds true for every orphan. It is my prayer through Project Hosanna that our Y may be the first of many we can help discover the only love that can touch the most broken parts of their heart and soul, the perfect love of their Savior.
For now, it starts with Y, a beautiful 13 year old girl we will be hosting through the latter part of the summer for about 7 weeks. We pray as we embark on this journey, as mere conduits, God will be able to begin a beautiful restoration of a broken heart, that God will open up the path of love, family, and hope for Y.
How can you help with Project Hosanna? First and foremost: prayers. Y needs your prayers. We need your prayers. I need your prayers as I seek God's will in where Project Hosanna goes. Yes, right now, it is Y, but I believe God has more in store for this project past Y.
Secondly, we are currently in the process of rearranging a room, buying twin beds and a dresser to get a room ready for Y to share with my sister. I then get the fun challenge of purchasing cute, yet modest teenage girl clothes! Y will come with the clothes on her back plus one change of clothes. We will have to purchase everything else she'll need, clothes, shoes, pajamas, swim suit, and so forth. If you feel led to help in this way, we would love a gift card to Target, Kohl's, or if you have a teenage girl, wherever you shop for cute modest clothes!
We already have our annual family trip to the beach booked for September, but we're hoping to squeeze in an extra trip to the beach with Y sometime in August. So if you have any connections to a place to stay at an NC/SC beach, let me know!
We are very excited and a little nervous about meeting Y in just 16 days!!!! I have so much to get done! We covet your prayers! I will try to post updates throughout the summer, but I make no promises as our July is insanely busy. Thank you for covering this journey in prayer with us and walking beside us!
