Of the 6 eggs we got, two weren't mature. One didn't fertilize. So, it looks like we might be able to transfer three on Tuesday. Hold your fingers crossed that they grow and stick this time.
My mood has started to go down. I don't know whether it's the progesterone or the estrogen pills I have started taking today, but I don't feel as positive as I have the past couple of weeks. I hope my mood is improving again soon.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Strong and sticky embryos needed
Today at the retrieval we got six little eggs. Let's hope the ICSI will do the trick and let them grow into six strong and sticky embryos.
My doctor had told me to be there at nine in the morning. On the paperwork it said 8:00 a.m. So dh and me decided to leave the house at 8:00 a.m. When we arrived at the clinic's lab, nobody was there. We were waiting for about 20 minutes until around 8:40 a.m. someone showed up.
The retrieval was actually the easiest I ever had I think. Of course apart from the IV which I don't like. But the anesthesiologist was really good, so it barely hurt.
The doctor was at a conference, so her husband performed the retrieval. She later emailed me to say how happy she was that we got six. It isn't a huge number, but I think that's pretty much how many we had every single time we have done this.
When we asked Lilli in the past whether she wanted a brother or a sister, she just said: "No, thank you!" This evening when I asked her, she said she wanted a sister. That would be great, wouldn't it?
My doctor had told me to be there at nine in the morning. On the paperwork it said 8:00 a.m. So dh and me decided to leave the house at 8:00 a.m. When we arrived at the clinic's lab, nobody was there. We were waiting for about 20 minutes until around 8:40 a.m. someone showed up.
The retrieval was actually the easiest I ever had I think. Of course apart from the IV which I don't like. But the anesthesiologist was really good, so it barely hurt.
The doctor was at a conference, so her husband performed the retrieval. She later emailed me to say how happy she was that we got six. It isn't a huge number, but I think that's pretty much how many we had every single time we have done this.
When we asked Lilli in the past whether she wanted a brother or a sister, she just said: "No, thank you!" This evening when I asked her, she said she wanted a sister. That would be great, wouldn't it?
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
We are a go!
Went to see the doctor again today. Took Lilli with me. She brings me luck as the waiting time is so much shorter when she is coming along...
The doctor won't be here on Saturday, so her husband will do the retrieval. She saw 6 follicles on one ovary and maybe one on the other. I don't know what happened to my uterus, but the ultrasound hurt like hell again. I think it's tilted even more than it was in the past.
I asked her for her guess. She said that everything looks perfect, but there is the big question that we don't know. Implantation is something that they can't influence. That's why I am taking the Prednisone and all the other medication.
Retrieval is scheduled for Saturday. I will have to take estrogen pills and progesterone suppositories. Has anyone ever taken estrogen pills after retrieval and it has worked for you? Would love to hear some insights.
It looks like transfer will be on Tuesday. We will find out whether #4 was our lucky charm on November 15th. I think I will schedule another acupuncture for Friday. And then I'll do one on Tuesday after transfer.
Lilli is just standing behind me in big-girl underwear and doing my hair. I keep on reminding her that she needs to use the potty in case she has to go...
The doctor won't be here on Saturday, so her husband will do the retrieval. She saw 6 follicles on one ovary and maybe one on the other. I don't know what happened to my uterus, but the ultrasound hurt like hell again. I think it's tilted even more than it was in the past.
I asked her for her guess. She said that everything looks perfect, but there is the big question that we don't know. Implantation is something that they can't influence. That's why I am taking the Prednisone and all the other medication.
Retrieval is scheduled for Saturday. I will have to take estrogen pills and progesterone suppositories. Has anyone ever taken estrogen pills after retrieval and it has worked for you? Would love to hear some insights.
It looks like transfer will be on Tuesday. We will find out whether #4 was our lucky charm on November 15th. I think I will schedule another acupuncture for Friday. And then I'll do one on Tuesday after transfer.
Lilli is just standing behind me in big-girl underwear and doing my hair. I keep on reminding her that she needs to use the potty in case she has to go...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
And gone again...
Yesterday I had another doctor's appointment. In the morning I went in for bloodwork. I woke up around 6:00 a.m. and decided to go as early as possible to avoid traffic and long lines. Little did I know that when I left the house at 6:19 a.m. a lot of people were already on the road. Caracas is a nightmare for traffic. But I arrived at the hospital pretty early and found the lab right away. But what a surprise: when I got my number (you take numbers here for everything like at the meat counter), there were 31 patients in front of me already. I waited until my number was called upon for payment which was about 30 minutes after I had arrived. Then I waited about another hour when it was finally my turn. The bloodtest itself only took 3 minutes...
In the afternoon I had to return to the hospital again to see my doctor. The results were in and she was happy with them. This time she found only 5 eggs in my left ovary and the right one was gone again. I guess it's there somewhere, but because my uterus is tipped the ultrasound hurts like hell. I don't know why, but it had never hurt like that in the past. I wonder what my doctor in the U.S. did different.
The doctor told me that my lining looks different in color than normal. Instead of greyish it looks more like white which must be caused by the endometriosis. She also told me that we were doing ICSI this time to make sure we get the best results. I was surprised because it didn't seem like fertilization was ever an issue, but of course we'll do what's best for good results.
This morning I gave myself the first shot to keep ovaluation from happening. Dh and myself are having some issues to resolve and he was upset that I didn't tell him last night about the shot when he was awake. Our general problem is that he likes to stay up late, while I love to go to bed early. I am an early riser and it's hard to get him to wake up in the mornings. Which makes our like and interactions a lot more complicated than I would like them to be. I guess we both don't feel like we are getting heard. We'll talk about it tonight, I hope.
On a completely different note. Yesterday we talked to Lilli's birthmom (LBM) on the phone. She just had another baby and we are so excited that Lilli has a brother. It was a wonderful, great phone conversation that ended with Lilli singing "Twinkle, twinkle little star" and crowned by her saying "I love you!" to her birth mother. It was the first time we talked to LBM since the birth and a great opportunity to explain to her how much she has blessed us in our lives. We hope that she enjoyed it as much as we did.
In the afternoon I had to return to the hospital again to see my doctor. The results were in and she was happy with them. This time she found only 5 eggs in my left ovary and the right one was gone again. I guess it's there somewhere, but because my uterus is tipped the ultrasound hurts like hell. I don't know why, but it had never hurt like that in the past. I wonder what my doctor in the U.S. did different.
The doctor told me that my lining looks different in color than normal. Instead of greyish it looks more like white which must be caused by the endometriosis. She also told me that we were doing ICSI this time to make sure we get the best results. I was surprised because it didn't seem like fertilization was ever an issue, but of course we'll do what's best for good results.
This morning I gave myself the first shot to keep ovaluation from happening. Dh and myself are having some issues to resolve and he was upset that I didn't tell him last night about the shot when he was awake. Our general problem is that he likes to stay up late, while I love to go to bed early. I am an early riser and it's hard to get him to wake up in the mornings. Which makes our like and interactions a lot more complicated than I would like them to be. I guess we both don't feel like we are getting heard. We'll talk about it tonight, I hope.
On a completely different note. Yesterday we talked to Lilli's birthmom (LBM) on the phone. She just had another baby and we are so excited that Lilli has a brother. It was a wonderful, great phone conversation that ended with Lilli singing "Twinkle, twinkle little star" and crowned by her saying "I love you!" to her birth mother. It was the first time we talked to LBM since the birth and a great opportunity to explain to her how much she has blessed us in our lives. We hope that she enjoyed it as much as we did.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Ovary found - now grow some great eggs, please!
On Thursday I had a bad day. A friend of mine told me about her pregnancy. It's the usual. Of course I am happy for her. But I thought: if this doesn't work out for us, then I'll see her growing belly and be constantly be reminded about our failure. I was a little sad about this. I also had my first acupuncture appointment. I told the doctor about this and she wanted to work with my emotions a lot. The doctor uses less needles than my previous acupuncturist and she concentrates them around my belly button. After the acupuncture treatment she used like a little torch/candle on my belly and on my spleen. I had never heard about that before. I don't know what she did, but I felt much better afterwards. I also went on Friday and yesterday. My next appointment is on Thursday. I continue to try to stay positive now.
On Friday I had my first check with the doctor after I started stimulations. I went there and she told me she was really concerned how I was reacting to the stims when she came in. Then she did the ultrasound and was very happy. It looks like I am responding very well to the stimulation. She found about 7-8 follicles on the left ovary, measuring around 9 mm and the right ovary made an rare appearance with 2-3 follicles. I really hope those little follicles continue to grow like this and we will get that many eggs. That would be wonderful. We are continuing on the same dosis and tomorrow morning I have to go in for bloodwork and then I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon. We might do retrieval as early as next Friday! Retrieval scares me, because I don't like the IV that is connected with it...
I love, love, love my doctor. She is about my age and super competent and sweet!
On Friday I had my first check with the doctor after I started stimulations. I went there and she told me she was really concerned how I was reacting to the stims when she came in. Then she did the ultrasound and was very happy. It looks like I am responding very well to the stimulation. She found about 7-8 follicles on the left ovary, measuring around 9 mm and the right ovary made an rare appearance with 2-3 follicles. I really hope those little follicles continue to grow like this and we will get that many eggs. That would be wonderful. We are continuing on the same dosis and tomorrow morning I have to go in for bloodwork and then I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon. We might do retrieval as early as next Friday! Retrieval scares me, because I don't like the IV that is connected with it...
I love, love, love my doctor. She is about my age and super competent and sweet!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Busted
Yesterday we did another round of shots. This time we feel so clumsy with them. The last three times seem easy compared to this time. The first night we splattered glass all around the kitchen while trying to open the vials. Yesterday when I went to pay for the medication, I asked at the doctor's office how to open them and they showed me an easier way to do it (but it can still break in your fingers).
Then last night after dh had taken the fluid from the third vial and mixed with the medication, the syringe didn't work and released the $50/shot fluid all over the kitchen counter.
Fortunately we have enough vials for the next two days (unless an accident like that happens again) and then on Friday I have to go see the doctor again. When he put in one of the shots, the syringe came back out, so he had to stick it in again. He claims that I moved, but of course that's not true.
But while we received this great training in the U.S. on how to administer the shots, we feel like idiots this time around. We should be pros, having been through this already three times before... I can definitely say that the equipment was easier to handle in the U.S.
Let's hope we become less clumsy and the equipment doesn't refuse to work in the future...
Then last night after dh had taken the fluid from the third vial and mixed with the medication, the syringe didn't work and released the $50/shot fluid all over the kitchen counter.
Fortunately we have enough vials for the next two days (unless an accident like that happens again) and then on Friday I have to go see the doctor again. When he put in one of the shots, the syringe came back out, so he had to stick it in again. He claims that I moved, but of course that's not true.
But while we received this great training in the U.S. on how to administer the shots, we feel like idiots this time around. We should be pros, having been through this already three times before... I can definitely say that the equipment was easier to handle in the U.S.
Let's hope we become less clumsy and the equipment doesn't refuse to work in the future...
Monday, October 18, 2010
Looking for an ovary - apply within
AF arrived on Saturday night around midnight. I saw a doctor yesterday. Everything looked good, even though she couldn't find my left ovary either. But at least there were three follicles on my right ovary. Maybe the left will show up some time in the future...
Today we are starting stimulation. I have to take 3 vials of Menopur and 3 vials of Bravelle a day for 4 days and have to go back on Friday for another ultrasound. The vials with the fluid were really difficult to break. My friend who is visiting said, they usually come with a little knife, but I didn't see any. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to break them without splattering the glass all over? We never had these kind of issues in the past. Of course the introduction through a Spanish speaking nurse were not that great either...
I read in "The Infertility Cure" from Randine Lewis that L-Arginine can help poor responders to improve egg quantity and quality. That's one of the things the doctor prescribed me.
Today we are starting stimulation. I have to take 3 vials of Menopur and 3 vials of Bravelle a day for 4 days and have to go back on Friday for another ultrasound. The vials with the fluid were really difficult to break. My friend who is visiting said, they usually come with a little knife, but I didn't see any. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to break them without splattering the glass all over? We never had these kind of issues in the past. Of course the introduction through a Spanish speaking nurse were not that great either...
I read in "The Infertility Cure" from Randine Lewis that L-Arginine can help poor responders to improve egg quantity and quality. That's one of the things the doctor prescribed me.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Waiting for the start and Blogoversary
Today is day 25 of my cycle and I know it won't take long for AF to arrive. The second day I have to go to the clinic and start stims. I also just scheduled three acupuncture treatments for next week.
My Mom is here and it's great to have her here. Unfortunately she doesn't like to just sit around. She feels unproductive which I can understand. But I'd love to take her out, but she refuses to leave the house. She is just not used to be on the go all the time like we are here. I am a little sad, because there are so many things that I wanted to show her. Instead we are just sitting in the house and I feel like she's here, but she isn't because we don't spend enough quality time together. It's a difficult story and not an easy relationship. I love my Mom, I wish she would understand my life more...
On an different note: it's been more than 5 years since we began this journey to create our family. It's been full of heartbreak from so many perspectives: miscarriages, my dad's cancer. But there was light at the end of the tunnel. The light is now already 26 months old and her name is Lillian. She is the love of our lives...
I just realized that today is my three year blogoversary. I have been such a bad blogger since Lilli was born. But I can't believe it's been three years since we started the adoption process... Happy Blogoversary to me!
My Mom is here and it's great to have her here. Unfortunately she doesn't like to just sit around. She feels unproductive which I can understand. But I'd love to take her out, but she refuses to leave the house. She is just not used to be on the go all the time like we are here. I am a little sad, because there are so many things that I wanted to show her. Instead we are just sitting in the house and I feel like she's here, but she isn't because we don't spend enough quality time together. It's a difficult story and not an easy relationship. I love my Mom, I wish she would understand my life more...
On an different note: it's been more than 5 years since we began this journey to create our family. It's been full of heartbreak from so many perspectives: miscarriages, my dad's cancer. But there was light at the end of the tunnel. The light is now already 26 months old and her name is Lillian. She is the love of our lives...
I just realized that today is my three year blogoversary. I have been such a bad blogger since Lilli was born. But I can't believe it's been three years since we started the adoption process... Happy Blogoversary to me!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Let the games begin...
Not that anyone is still reading this blog as I have been such a bad blogger. But I still wanted to give a little updated on project S (sibling). We have moved ahead with tests and treatments.
The doctor that works on immunology issues has me taking
- Vitamin C (500, 2 daily)
- L-Arginine (1000, 2 daily)
- Folic Acid (one daily in the mornings)
- Aspirine 81 mg (evenings)
- Q10 (1 daily)
- DHEA (Fishoil, two daily)
In addition today, I started taking Prednisone (2 daily) which might be able to help with implantation.
She also advised me to go to the gym 3-5 times a week and do cardio exercise for 45 minutes. I hate working out and literally have to drag myself there, but I have been doing it for about 6 weeks.
I also met her to talk about food. She recommend no carbs in the evenings which is really hard for a carb girl like me. I am trying to stick to the meat and salad or vegetarian option, but it's hard. I love my pasta, I love my bread... I can have 1/2 cup of carbs for lunch. Two snacks are also important, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. And a healthy breakfast of course. I am trying to avoid sugar (hard!), but am cheating a little here and there.
We are starting at the next cycle. Since I am a slow responder, I don't have to do any down-regulation and my doctor will start stimulation on day two of my period. I am very excited and hope that the fourth time is our lucky charm. I feel like this time I am not such a nut-case like in the past. But because we are so blessed to have Lilli, at the end of the day, I know it's not the end of the world if it won't work. I might be the end of trying with my own eggs (and us needing to save up again until we can afford another cycle). But we can try again. I hope that this attitude will last in case I'll receive another BFN. It's in God's hand and I must trust him with this one. I am doing everything I can to make this try succeed, but he's the one who is in charge.
The doctor that works on immunology issues has me taking
- Vitamin C (500, 2 daily)
- L-Arginine (1000, 2 daily)
- Folic Acid (one daily in the mornings)
- Aspirine 81 mg (evenings)
- Q10 (1 daily)
- DHEA (Fishoil, two daily)
In addition today, I started taking Prednisone (2 daily) which might be able to help with implantation.
She also advised me to go to the gym 3-5 times a week and do cardio exercise for 45 minutes. I hate working out and literally have to drag myself there, but I have been doing it for about 6 weeks.
I also met her to talk about food. She recommend no carbs in the evenings which is really hard for a carb girl like me. I am trying to stick to the meat and salad or vegetarian option, but it's hard. I love my pasta, I love my bread... I can have 1/2 cup of carbs for lunch. Two snacks are also important, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. And a healthy breakfast of course. I am trying to avoid sugar (hard!), but am cheating a little here and there.
We are starting at the next cycle. Since I am a slow responder, I don't have to do any down-regulation and my doctor will start stimulation on day two of my period. I am very excited and hope that the fourth time is our lucky charm. I feel like this time I am not such a nut-case like in the past. But because we are so blessed to have Lilli, at the end of the day, I know it's not the end of the world if it won't work. I might be the end of trying with my own eggs (and us needing to save up again until we can afford another cycle). But we can try again. I hope that this attitude will last in case I'll receive another BFN. It's in God's hand and I must trust him with this one. I am doing everything I can to make this try succeed, but he's the one who is in charge.
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