The Tale of my Growing Ass, the Oscars & other short stories

hello people. i know it's been awhile, so here i bring some rather uninteresting news about my dull life.

• my ass has grown to twice its original (sexy) size. it seems that's what 5 weeks of leading a more-or-less sedentary lifestyle does to your body. perhaps i am subconsciously trying to achieve typical british size so i'd be able to "fit in" when i'm there? i kid i kid. really, though, i'm disgusted with myself but i can't possibly resist my midnight snacks of potato wedges, ice-cream and moist chocolate cake while watching jamie oliver tackle the obesity issue in britain.

• i'm still not bored enough to volunteer at the palliative care center. will do it soon will do it soon!

• thanks to my mum, i now HATE fruits. her hobby is cutting up fruits and forcing them into my mouth. you should come to my house in the evenings and see what we have after dinner. a spread of apples, oranges, watermelons, mangoes and grapes. for 4 people. now i see fruits already i want to vomit!

• my offer letter from manchester has arrived. i've been posted to the royal preston hospital. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! there goes my city life.

• going to sydney in may! managed to nab good discount on airfare during the MAS online fair. RM1800 return. worth it, no?

• i have a new poodle puppy. her name is Ginger and she is SO adorable.

• was very disappointed with the oscar red carpet this year. where were most of the big stars in their beautiful over-the-top gowns? many of them attended the oscars but very few actually strutted down the red carpet. so sad. among the very boring couture, these were my favourites:

Natalie Portman in a gorgeous bubble gum pink gown by Rodarte. i adore the colour! so young and chic and sophisticated at the same time.

i've always hated Sarah Jessica Parker (actually, more of Carrie Bradshaw) and her infamous high-pitched giggles but i thought she looked really good in this "barely mint" (?!) Dior Haute Couture gown. i loved that the belt added a beautiful unconventional touch to it.

Penelope Cruz in vintage Pierre Balmain. i never liked her and i hardly watch her movies but i look forward to seeing her on the red carpet because she almost never fails to disappoint. i know it kinda looks like a bridal gown (especially the lace at the ends) but i love it!!!

yes yes another cream-coloured gown (told you the red carpet was boring), but don't you think Taraji Henson looks so stunning in this white tiered Roberto Cavalli? i thought the gown hugged her body and showed off her curves so wonderfully.

haha, surprise surprise! i, the #1 high school musical hater, actually loved Vanessa Hudgens in Marchesa. i know the flowers on her bodice seem a bit odd in this angle but they actually worked for her and made her overall look very unique! she had the whole Morticia Addams gothic look going on but also appeared so elegant all the same.

they weren't on the red carpet but Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry are my FAVOURITE red carpet celebrities of all time! i was so sad that both opted out of walking down the red carpet, but was awed when they appeared on stage to present an award.

• THESE, on the other hand, are on my worst-dressed list:
  

Amanda Seyfried in Valentino. i'm sorry but i think she's the ugliest thing on the planet and that the big bow should've covered her face. no, seriously, the giant bow on her dress was uncanny. she's already so petite that the bow simply overpowered her.

Miley Cyrus in her fungus dress. she looks, what, 50? enough said.

Beyonce in her own label, House of Dereon. i don't know what to say about this. the whole thing is just wrong and the gold print looks like the pattern on my greatgrandmother's chinese antique furniture cushion.

Jessica Biel is the worst of the worst!!! what a shame! she has such a beautiful face. i was so embarrassed for her when she first appeared on camera. Prada you are disappointing! i mean, what is this? scrap cloth hanging out of the dress? oh and you should've seen her shoes. they were BLACK CLOSE-TOED! terribly petrifying!

Lemon Meringue Pie

you'd think that i'd be blogging a lot more now that i'm on a break, but apparently a daily routine of waking up late, watching tv, going online, reading and eating doesn't offer much to blog about. i think i'd best get started on volunteering at the palliative care center before my (big) brain begins to atrophy to the size of a pea.

yesterday i did something out of the ordinary (relative to said daily routine): i made a lemon meringue pie. turned out pretty good! the lemon custard was a tad sour, although i cut down to using 3 lemons as opposed to 5 (i cannot imagine how sour it would've been if i had stuck exactly to the recipe), but thankfully the sweetness of the meringue compensated the taste. can someone, though, please tell me how i can preserve the crisp of the meringue after chilling it in the fridge? it always softens after being chilled! or is it supposed to be that way?

lemon meringue pie is one of my all-time favourite desserts. the best one i've tasted (in this country) used to be from Bakerzin. it was one of the things i would never think twice on purchasing, at RM10++ for a tiny piece which could've been eaten in 2 bites. unfortunately, to my horror, Bakerzin recently shut down all their outlets in Malaysia leaving me so heartbroken i almost lost the will to live. fine, i exaggerate, but where the hell am i supposed to find a better lemon meringue pie over here? i tried the one at Marmalade and it tasted nothing more than lemon-scented toilet detergent (not that i've tried toilet detergent before but i imagine that's what it is supposed to taste like). and it was RM10.50++! what an outrage!

i mean, seriously, how hard is it to make a good lemon meringue? so i tried my hands on making one myself... the end result? IT'S EASY OKAY.

(excuse the very bad quality picture. don't have a proper camera with me at the mo.)

Recipe
For the pie pastry dough:
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup veg shortening
3-4tbsp cold water

For the meringue:
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
3 egg whites

For the lemon curd:
3 lemons (next time i think i'm going to cut down to 2 lemons)
3 egg yolks
2 eggs
1/2 cup unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar

Method (i'm lazy, so i write this very simply!)
1. Make the pie pastry dough; shape and bake the pastry shell at ~200°C (375°F) for about 15mins until it is brownish.

2. Make the lemon curd:
- put sugar, zest of 1 lemon and butter into saucepan
- add lemon juice
- whisk over fairly low heat until sugar has dissolve (2-3mins)
- turn off heat, whisk in the beaten eggs & egg yolks until evenly combined with lemon mixture
- return to the heat and cook gently, so the curd thickens slowly and does not curdle (4-6mins)
- strain lemon curd into a bowl and set aside to let cool
- spoon lemon curd into prepared pastry shell, bake just until the mixture starts to set (10-12mins)
- let it cool and chill before adding the meringue

3. Make the meringue:
- heat sugar & water until dissolved
- whisk egg whites slowly, but increase speed when they become foamy and white; continue this until the egg whites stiffen
- gradually pour the hot sugar syrup into beaten egg whites, beating constantly until meringue is cool and stiff (5mins)
- spread meringue over the lemon curd filling to cover. decorate if you bother!
- bake the pie for about 3-5mins
- serve chilled

note to self for future reference: cut down on lemon juice, fill in more meringue!