2008 Christmas Video that Stan made for Belinda

The following clips are taken from a video I made as a Christmas gift to Belinda in 2008 (four years before her passing).  Although it is missing everything from her last four years, it still seems like a fitting tribute to her life.  I am grateful I took the time then to put this together so she could see it while she was still here in mortality.

1 - Introduction and Parents

2 - Interviews with Brothers and Sisters

3 - Interviews with Friends

4 - Belinda and Stan

5 - Children

6 - Interviews with Children

7 - Not the End
For better view of this last video, click the links below to go into YouTube:
Abbreviated Version
Full Version

Belinda's Funeral Services

Belinda Wilding Craft died very unexpectedly on December 31st due to complications after a basic knee surgery. In this post we wanted to share specifics about how this came about with those who are interested to know more details.

We will share her actual Obituary in a different post. Check the bottom of this post though for Funeral details.

Belinda Craft had a basic knee surgery the evening of Thursday,  December 27th to correct a torn meniscus that had been bothering her for months (possibly years).  The tear was pretty bad, but surgery appeared to have gone alright.  The next day was spent in bed recovering and sleeping, besides extra pain in the knee (for obvious reasons), she appeared to be just fine.

Saturday, December 29th, after sleeping and taking care of her youngest son, Jacob, who was sick, she woke up with shortness of breath and headed to the bathroom. Very quickly she couldn't stand anymore, and laid herself down on the bathroom floor and told Jacob to go get Dad.

She appeared to be having an anxiety attack as she kept saying she couldn't  breathe and to call the ambulance. A couple minutes before the ambulance arrived, she lost consciousness and went into Cardiac Arrest (lost oxygen and pulse).  Dad began chest compressions and then soon the paramedics arrived and it took approximately 12 minutes to regain her pulse.

It was discovered that she had a Pulmonary Embolism (blood clots in the lungs) which caused the cardiac arrest.

For two days she was in a full coma and was on Life Support. Some brain activity was detected at first which gave us a lot of hope, even though she remained in her coma and wouldn't wake up. We had a decent amount of hope that things would turn out after a 24 hour Cold Therapy was done to help stop swelling and further damage. 

However, Sunday morning things turned for worse when her blood pressure spiked and then dropped and her eyes dilated, which indicates a possible stroke and/or problems in the brain. When they did an MRI, they did discover swelling of the brain, and it was unknown how much more damage would occur since it was impossible for them to stop the swelling under the circumstances. But it was discovered that there was not a blood clot in the brain as they had originally guessed. So we kept praying and hoping for the best over the next day. 

 However,  because of the extensive damage done to her brain from the lack of oxygen for those 12 minutes or more on Saturday, the damaged brain eventually lost full brain wave activity sometime Monday morning. After several tests,  including an Apnea test to see if she would breath on her own as they pumped in oxygen, her brain waves were tested again and she was officially declared brain dead, and that she had died December 31st, 2012.

Her Life Support was extended for a few more days, so that my mom could do one last service with her otherwise healthy body. She was able to donate her kidneys, liver, and heart valves to recipients in need.

Even though this tragedy happened so suddenly and unexpectedly, we feel comforted in the Plan of Salvation and that we will see her again.  We exercised our faith and we know she would have recovered fully if it wasn't her time to go. However, the Lord had a different plan for her, and our family's faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes. We know He will give us the strength to get through this  if we keep our faith in Him and that there was a reason for the outcome to turn out the way it did.

We invite any and all of you who knew and loved Belinda to come to the Viewing and/or Funeral! She had many many friends and would love for any who are available, to come! Because she had so many friends, we hope the word will get out to everyone in past wards, neighborhoods, schools, or anything else she was involved in.  Feel welcome to pass along this information to anyone you know would care to be at Belinda's funeral. In the past, she always did request a large turn out! :)

Funeral Services are as follows:

The Funeral and the Viewings will be held at:

LDS Church

(on the corner of) 600 East 3200 North, Lehi, UT

The viewing will be held on:

Friday, January 4th 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Saturday, January 5th  9:00AM - 10:30 PM

(The Saturday line will close at 10:30, so please arrive early since we anticipate a large turn out and long lines)

The Funeral will be held on:

Saturday, January 5th  at 11:00 AM

We thank everyone for their faith, thoughts, prayers, and various ways you have reached out to our family. Thank you for being a part of our lives as well as part of Belinda's wonderful life. We wish you all the best!

To share condolences, stories, and photos of Belinda, please email them to:

[email protected]

Where they will then be posted on:

http://memoriesofbelinda.blogspot.com

Baseball or FHE?

Today my husband called to inform me that Joshua had a baseball game at 6:30. I thought for a moment “don’t they know it’s Family Home Evening?” Then I remembered that “they” don’t care. Surely life would keep us busy enough consuming our days and our children’s days doing worthwhile activities. My mind reflected on a talk given by Julie B. Beck about prioritizing our time into 3 lists ( I have blogged about this before probably because it weighs so heavily upon my mind). The categories are essential, necessary and nice-to-do’s. I contemplated this concept so much this weekend as we went to stake conference and heard Elder Gene R. Cook (emeritus seventy living in our stake) speak in the Saturday Evening session. He spoke for 1 hour 45 minutes on key doctrines in our church that we need to teach our children so they can internalize them, so they can be apart of them. I wondered how on earth am I going to teach my children all that they need to know to be deeply grounded in the gospel of Jesus Christ if I skip out on Family Home Evening for a baseball game? There is not enough time in a day to do it all, something has got to give. I remember years ago when we had to choose between a ballroom dance performance for Brittney and Family Home Evening. Do my children know what I stand for? What is important to me? I am making an essential, necessary and nice-to-do list for our family so we “never let those things that matter most be at the mercy of things that matter least”. I’m glad I have the opportunity to make hard choices, it defines my character.

Polish & Chisel

About a week ago I went to the doctor to have part of my scalp removed so they could perform a biopsy on it for possible cancer. Today I received the good news that my noggin shows no signs of cancer. However, during the week of waiting, I have to admit that I spent some extra time with introspective thinking.

I read the talk by President Henry B. Eyring from this last general conference, Mountains to Climb, in which he tells a story about his mom. He said:

"My mother fought cancer for nearly 10 years. Treatments and surgeries and finally confinement to her bed were some of her trials….One of the speakers at her funeral was President Spencer W. Kimball. Among the tributes he paid, I remember one that went something like this: 'Some of you may have thought that Mildred suffered so long and so much because of something she had done wrong that required the trials.' He then said, 'No, it was that God just wanted her to be polished a little more.'”

This reminded me a lot of our good friend Stacy Geppert who is now in a full scale clash with cancer. At most, she just needs a little more polish. She is among the most Christlike people I know. We don't know what Heavenly Father's will is for her, but we pray for her. She has demonstrated faith and courage, and she is an inspiration to our family.

During this past week, I certainly hoped I wouldn't have to begin a fight with cancer. The thought came to me, and the Spirit seemed to confirm, that I still needed a whole lot more than a little polishing. In fact, I am still very much in the chiseling phase of life. I have a whole lot more molding and carving to do before I'm even ready for that polishing stage. I was reminded of what C.S. Lewis wrote:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains fixed and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on -- you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you're not surprised. But [then], He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and doesn't seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The answer is that He is building quite a different house from the one you had thought of -- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage -- but He is building a palace."

I am always inspired by those who just need a little more polishing. I'm a long ways away from that point, but am thankful for the opportunities we all have to progress -- wherever we are -- along the path that will help us accomplish the purpose for why we came to earth.

Thanks be to the 2 men who married our 2 daughters

We are so thankful for two men who are each willing to help their wife with projects around the house.  John is digging a big hole for a trampoline that Angela wants, and Randy is moving lots of dirt and doing landscaping that Brittney wants done.

I’m also thankful for our other sons who are willing to help their sisters.

We feel so very blessed to have our family, and are grateful for those two wonderful sons that married our daughters.  We are grateful to Gordon & Wileen Henderson for raising Randy in the way they did, and for Alfred & Jo Ann Liddle for raising John the way they did.  How blessed we are!

Returned with Honor

Words cannot describe the feeling of being reunited with your son after 2 years- elated, thrilled, proud, emotional,excited, glad to be a mom of such a righteous boy, so moved to have given the Lord my best for 2 years, so glad to have entrusted him in the Lord's care, so glad to have my family back. Friday was a bit of heaven on earth. I some how want to freeze time and never let this moment pass.

I got the first hug. What a grand hug it was. I cry now thinking about it. Angela put together a DVD of Spencer's whole mission experience. The dropping him off at the MTC, his mission pictures, the reuniting at the airport, and the walking up to the stake president's house to be released. I have watched it a half dozen times and still cry every time. How do you describe these feelings. My little boys wonder why I'm crying. They say "were just excited not sad". I tell them I'm not sad but have a hard time describing my feelings. I think this feeling is only reserved for mothers.

My daughter put it well when she said "this must be a little taste of what it will be like when we have our grand reunion in heaven". Thanks for the pictures Angela!

Musings of a dad

OK, so I've commandeered my wife's blog, and am making my first (maybe only?) entry since I don't have my own blog account.

This morning I had one of those experiences that seems to come most commonly for me early in the morning. I was sitting at my desk at home, and looked over and saw a toy on the ground next to the loveseat. My first inclination was to reach over and pick it up and remove it from my office. You see, I have a thing about "clutter"; I seem to be able to think better when there is no clutter and no distractions.

The toy was a little whale, and somehow this morning that little whale represented something about my two little boys; and as that impression came to me, I no longer wanted to move it. In fact, I almost simultaneously had two quotes come to my recollection (even though I hadn't thought of either of them for a long time).

The first was from President Thomas S. Monson in his October 2008 General Conference address entitled, Finding Joy in the Journey. He says:

"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."

The second was quoted by Elder M. Russell Ballard in his April 2008 General Conference address, Daughters of God:

Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).

Having had three children already grow up and leave the home, and a fourth getting close to that point, I have already experienced what it feels to "miss them profoundly." Wow, life just seems to have a way of tricking you into thinking that everything takes such a long time; but then when you get down that road and look back -- it suddenly seems like it all happened so fast!

I can't possibly express how much I love our oldest four children. Oh, how each and every one of them has brought such great joy to my soul. We have had fun, we have laughed, sometimes cried, kept trying when we have failed, and have always been friends. And as for our two sons that married our daughters -- wow, how lucky we are! They are both such great men.

Had it not been for my dear and wonderful wife, Belinda, we would have stopped after four children. Well, we also had help from the endless prayers of our son Benson (who had greater faith than any of us).

When I think back on the sacrifice and suffering that Belinda endured to bring each of these children into our family, I am amazed…. She entered into almost all of them (except the first I guess) knowing it would be very hard. She had such courage and faith and vision. To me, she is truly an Elect Lady. I am so thankful … and so lucky!

And what of those last two? They have been so fun! They have brought such joy. I love them like unto the others. They have extended the season of life wherein we can have so many wonderful experiences as parents with young children -- during those truly magical years. Yes, I will be an old man when our 6 year old is finally grown up and on his mission. But until then, we really are having a whale of a time!