After so many years, the pain is still so real.

This feeling of losing someone dear to me stings, and it will probably haunt me forever. Some nights, I lay on my bed I think of my grandmother and it still hurts so damn badly. I still tear or sometimes cry so badly till I feel exhausted. Tonight is one of those nights.

I miss you popo, I wish you never had to leave.

Today, right now, I question God. I’m a free thinker, I’m don’t quite believe strongly in any religion, but somehow I believe someone is up there watching us.

Why all the shit in life? This is not about me, but the people around me. Why put my loved ones through all the tough times when they don’t deserve any of it. It hurts so bloody much to see my dearest ones so upset, so down and so defeated. Yet at the same time I sincerely hope and pray to whoever is up there to bless them and please have mercy on them. Please.