Another Year Gone

A new year, a renewed determination to move on. January.

My low time of the year. Everything hurt. February.

I fell in love with 6th grade for the first time. And the Lord humbled me. March.

I said good bye. To more than one thing. April.

Spring lifted my spirits and I started life with a new attitude. May.

I spent many summer nights under the stars with some of my best friends. June.

We continued to adventure and I turned 21. July.

I struggled greatly with change. August.

I dove into student teaching, excited and enthusiastic. September.

I wanted to give up on everything. October.

I knew time was short, so I tried my best to live it up. November.

I graduated from college. I turned in my mission papers. I moved home. December.

It's been a good year. Lots of good times. Plenty of hard times. But all for the best.

I think that it's been in this year that I've really, truly grown up. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and enjoy life for the things that I have, not what I lack.

I haven't quite reached that happily ever after that I'm hoping for, but it's out there, I know it.

Things have happened and come together this year in a way that has made life make a little more sense. I can see more of the big picture. I don't just see the little bubble that I'm in at this exact moment. I'm not focused on my immediate desires. I know that I have to be patient and the things that I really want will happen. All in due time.

So here's to 2011.

The best year of my life so far.

And here's to every succeeding year being the best year of my life.

And so it goes...

You know, life sucks sometimes.

Sometimes you have to do things you don't really wanna do.

Sometimes you have to be away from people you love and care about.

Sometimes you would give anything to get to see that one person for just a minute so you could throw your arms around his neck and actually be able to whisper in his ear how much you love him.

But almost all of the time...it doesn't matter. Life is what it is, and you have to deal with what you've got at the moment.

You're going to have to suck it up and put on your brave face and go on a mission.

You're going to have to move away from the place that's become home and say goodbye to some of your best friends.

You're going to have to be patient and let him finish serving his mission and just continue to send your love through letters without the hugs.

And you know what? It'll be okay. It might suck right now, but it will be okay.

Good things come to those who wait, right?

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane

Well, I said goodbye to Provo today. For how long? No clue.

This has been a rough week. My mother flew in from Atlanta to help me pack and move all my stuff--and thank goodness she did. I never could have done that by myself. We spent all of Monday and Tuesday just packing and packing. Wednesday we made a trip up to Cache Valley to drop my stuff off at my grandparent's house, where it will stay for the next approximately two years. It was really sad packing a lot of that away. I only have 8 pairs of shoes in my possession now. That was really hard, packing away all of my heels and everything else. Lots of my favorite clothes were put into storage too. I know this sounds a little ridiculous, but you try saying goodbye to your favorite clothes for two years and see how it feels...harder than you think.

Then there was the fact that my mission papers are in. I had my last interview Tuesday night, so my papers should have been submitted sometime midweek. I could get my call as soon as the week between Christmas and New Years. As I walked home from my interview I almost had a panic attack. Between packing and turning in my papers, I was feeling pretty unsettled. What a huge step in my life. I've just graduated from college, moved back home with my parents, and I'm about to leave for 18 months to do one of the hardest things ever in a place that is currently undisclosed to me. It all seems so surreal.

Surprisingly I've been ok today. No tears. And the only time that I did really get choked up was at the airport when Jeff and I were standing in the security line and a big group of missionaries were coming out of the terminal to applause and cheering from their family and friends. Shoot, just thinking about it again is bringing tears to my eyes. I guess I'm not as stoic as I thought I could be.

Ha I'm not that much of a rock. I cry. I just hide it when I do. Although, I don't cry as much now as I used to. Not even close! My senior year of high school I cried several times a week. In 2011, I could tell you exactly how many times I've had a really good cry (meaning more than just a few trickling tears), and I can count it on one hand. I don't know how I got to be so non-emotional. Well, maybe that's not the right term. I don't know why I don't cry very much anymore. Maybe because I have realized I have so many more things to smile about than cry about.

So, I'm on my way home. We have a three hour layover in Denver (curse expensive direct flights) and I guess now I have time to really sit and think about the fact that Provo isn't home anymore. And you know what? It sucks.

But...life goes on. I couldn't have stayed in college forever. The friends that I met will forever stay in my memories, and many of them in my heart. Yes, very sentimental sounding, but it's true. They have changed my life and I know that today wasn't the last day that I will ever see them.

Even though I don't know when I'll be back again, please smile for me. It's just the end of one chapter and on to another.

"I hope you had the time of your life"

I am unofficially a college graduate. It is a more amazing feeling than I could have ever imagined, being done. You know that feeling you get when you finish a semester? You can breathe deeper, smile easier, and just knowing the fact that there is nothing left to be done makes you happier than you were before. Multiply that feeling by a hundred. That's how I feel right now. It is awesome.

I walked out of my last interview yesterday afternoon having turned in my portfolio for my minor and I just wanted to break out into song and dance and tell the whole world that I was done. I would never have to walk onto that campus again as a student. That would have been strange if I had done that though, so I settled with calling my mom and just telling her my exciting news.

So here I am, at the close of a big chapter of life. I'm done with college. It only took me three and half years, but what an amazing three and a half years it was. It's amazing to think about all that has happened in that time. All the learning and growing I've done. All of the fantastic people that I've met. I wish that I could have another three and half years like that. I'm not ready to be done.

It's funny thinking about how I've changed. Since those days as a young, impressionable freshman, just starting life as an "adult." Ha! Even sophomore year was pretty unrealistic, the way that I thought about life. For example, I was flipping through my journal and this caught my eye:

March 2, 2010

"I had the thought today that I'm so glad that I'm majoring in something practical that I can find a job with since it's not likely at this point that I'll be married by the time I graduate. Who knows what'll happen next year though."

It's really quite funny how marriage obsessed I was back then. Not that now I'm any less interested in marriage. I mean, I'm just like any Mormon girl...deep down the greatest desire of my heart is just to get married. But the difference between me now and me two years ago when I wrote that? It's not my first priority in everything. I am still so glad that I majored in something practical that I can find a job with, not because I'm not married, but because isn't that why we get a higher education? So we can get a job? Really I'm glad with my major because it is something practical that I love. I found something that I was passionate about and I can have the satisfaction in knowing that I can love my job for the rest of my life.

I really think it's been in the last year and a half that I've really matured and grown up. I've really come to discover some of life's secrets and I think I've grown into a person that I actually really like. I don't have any huge regrets or wishes of things I could change. I think the people I've known in that period of time have really helped me a lot too. I've had to work through different problems with different relationships, and they've helped me to understand things better. I've grown to be best friends with several people, closer than I think I've ever really been with anyone before. It's surprising how much you can learn about yourself and about life just by talking to certain people.

So, Friday night as we were driving to Salt Lake, Green Day's timeless song "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" came on the radio. I never really understood the real depth and meaning of those lyrics before. Until that moment. As my roommates and I sang along it really hit me. Life is so unpredictable, but what you end up with in the end is right. So after all of these nonsensical ramblings that I'm not even sure make sense I want you to know that as I've lived my life here in Provo the past three and a half years...

I've had the time of my life.

"dont cry. just pray :)"

So...today was kind of awful.

Except, it wasn't.

Lessons today...bust. The kids were awful. I was tired and off my game.

Of course I got observed today.

Then because of debriefing I only got a 10 minute lunch, but thankfully when the kids come in, they're only in the room for 10 minutes and then I take them to specialties and have a half hour prep time. When I got back to the room I collapsed in my chair and seriously wanted to just crawl under my desk and cry, but mostly sleep. No, not cry. I wasn't that upset. Just frustrated.

And then, the thing happened that changed my whole day so it was awesome.

"What?" you ask. "What is this mysterious thing you speak of?"

It's Wednesday. That's all I'm gonna tell you.

...Ok. I'll say more.

How do you know you're in love?

Because an email from thousands of miles away can turn your entire day upside down and make it only the tiniest bit terrible. Minuscule amounts of terrible going on today.

Two realizations of the day:

1) I always come back from breaks feeling even more behind than I was before. I always have grand plans of getting caught up and even ahead over a long weekend. Like I was totally going to have all of this week and next week (my last two weeks) planned and ready to teach. Did that happen? Nope. I wasn't even planned for today when I walked in my classroom. (And of course today would be the day that my facilitator pops in for a surprise visit and checks my empty plan book...whoops.) I'm totally going to be one of those teachers who gets to class every day with the plan of winging it...haha I shouldn't be admitting that to the world. I will admit, there will be much more motivation to plan and be prepared when it's actually my job that I'm getting paid for. (Which is another thing I was thinking about today...how sad that even when teaching is what I love to do, the motivation for money is still a huge part of me doing my job.) Anyways, the point of this random rambling is that I am super overwhelmed with all the grading and planning that is to be done. And guess what? It is all done for free.

2) On a much more light-hearted note, I don't even care about shaving my legs anymore. Before you freak out, let me explain. I do shave my legs. But it's not a huge concern. You know when you're a teenager and you were obsessed with always having smooth legs? You always made sure that your legs were freshly shaved when you went to the pool or wore a skirt or shorts or something. Well, I was like that (to a point...), until this semester. I shave my legs every Sunday out of habit, but I don't even notice the fact that my legs are shaved. For school when I wear skirts or dresses, I never worry about whether my legs are stubbly or not. Because I don't care. I kind of see this as a metaphor for me moving from a more vain, superficial stage of life where it's things like making sure your legs are smooth, to a much more mature life where that is extremely low on your list of priorities. You have brains to feed everyday, and they don't care if your legs are prickly or not, so why should you? That's me. Feeding brains, not shaving my legs. If that grosses you out, sorry. But it's the truth. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of bluntly honest on my blog sometimes.

I know not the purpose of this post...

I am in love with finding "new" music.

I am addicted to the band Fun. I found them two nights ago during my night owl wanderings on the internet and I haven't stopped listening to them since.

Another recent addiction: Hellogoodbye.

I've been in and out of love with them over the years. I was a fan of "Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn" like 8 years ago when it first came out, and then my there was "Here (In Your Arms)." That was definitely a favorite to jam to at the stop light on my way to seminary at 6nd am. That album was kind of an addiction at the time. And then I just recently realized they came out with another album like a year ago, and so I groovesharked it and I love it. It's kind of quirky and different, but awesome.



And then there's my ever dying love for band like Family Force 5. It is always the time and place for a little FF5. Also on that list is Forever the Sickest Kids. He is We. Daphne Loves Derby. New Found Glory. Love love love. Love.

And why am I telling you, my dear (poor) readers, all of these nonsense ramblings? Because Thanksgiving break always throws of my sleep schedule and I stay up half the night and have nothing better to do than think of things like this. And because I endorse awesome, quirky bands that are not mainstream. It's so much more fun to listen to music that other people don't know, but don't ask me why it is. Just try it and you'll see for yourself.

I think it's time for me to go to sleep.

p.s. The movie Source Code is definitely one worth seeing.

"In Everything Give Thanks"

While I could list all of the bajillion things that I am thankful for in my life and this world, I decided to settle on the 5 things that I am most thankful for, one thing for each finger on this adorable hand turkey.

1. The Gospel and the role that it has in my life.
2. My family and the love and support they show me.
3. My wonderful friends who help me to enjoy life and make it through the rough times.
4. The opportunity I've had to go to BYU and get an education. I have learned and grown so much from my time spent here in Provo.
5. The unexpected bumps and thrills brought to my life because of love.

Insomnia

So it's 3 am. And I'm obviously not asleep. Why? I wish I knew.

I've been sitting here for an hour just reading the Anti-Austen blog (addicted? yes.) and discovering new music. I've forgotten just how wonderful finding new music can be. It used to be my number one hobby. I would spend hours everyday on purevolume just browsing random artists and trying out their stuff to see if I liked it. My current favorite song as of 30 minutes ago? This one:

Another reason I'm still awake? Perhaps it was going to Wendy's at 1 with Marjo to get our classic value menu combo. How do they make those fries so dang delicious that you can eat them without having to dip them in anything??

It could also be the fact that Lindsay scared the living heck outta me right before our Wendy's run. She didn't mean to scare me by peeking through the window on our front door, but it took me by surprise and I screamed the guttural cry of a person who is being murdered. Quite funny once I got over the scariness of the moment.

It could also be a lot of other reasons. I'll let you use your imagination. You're probably right though.

"Love is a many splendor-ed thing."

I feel like love is in the air right now. Not the time of year that is expected as winter is quickly on its way, but at least that's the case in my house right now.

One of my roommates has been as good as engaged for months now and is practically planning her wedding. One is taking her boo home for Thanksgiving and I expect he'll put a ring on it before the end of the year. Another is falling in love with the man of her dreams as we speak.

It's a very exciting time. Making speculations and plans is fun to do.

But I have to admit...as much as I don't want to and try not to feel this way, deep down inside I'm just a little bit...

jealous.

There. I said it.

I really am as happy as I can be for my friends. They deserve these guys almost as much as the guys deserve them. I love seeing them happy and giddy and excited about life. But I wish that I could be right there with them. Being in love and being able to be with that person is probably the greatest feeling in the whole entire world. Every person should have the opportunity to have that feeling.

I feel like love is all around me right now now. Taunting me. Teasing me. Testing me.

You see, there's this guy. And I'm in love with him. He's one of my very best friends in the world. He makes me happy. He makes me feel good about myself and want to be a better person. He supports me and cares about me and I feel the same way about him. When something happens, good or bad, he's the first person that I want to share it with. People say that you shouldn't be with someone you can live with, but someone that you can't live without. I'd be willing to say that he fits that bill. I can't imagine my life without him being a part of it.

But of course it's complicated because that's how my life works.

He's far away right now. We can only talk through letters and emails. He's serving the Lord and I'm trying my hardest not to be any kind of distraction for him right now as he does His work. Let me tell you, it's so hard being in love with someone and not being able to tell them exactly how you feel. But he doesn't come home for 18 more months. And in the mean time, I'm going to be leaving for 18 months to do exactly the same thing that he's doing. Hypothetically, the earliest that we could be in the same place again would be mid 2013, probably beginning 2014. That's so far away!

But I shouldn't be complaining too much. At least I have someone that I can feel that way about. One of the lessons that I've been trying to learn in life is this: with patience comes great things. So, I guess all I can do is just patiently love him from afar for now and see whatever come from it.

And in the meantime I'll just sob and bawl my eyes out while I watch movies like Up because their love story is so adorable and I want that more than anything in my life.

It'll Happen

I was just reading the Anti-Austen blog (a hilarious blog by girls from BYU who share about their ridiculous and real dating stories) and one post was talking about coming to the realization that she is going to graduate without getting married, and how she's decided that she's ok with that.

I had that realization quite a while ago, and not only am I ok with that, I'm glad.

I'm not going to lie. As a young and naive girl coming to BYU, I never even thought there was a possibility of graduating unmarried. I mean, that's why people go to BYU, to get married. Am I right, or am I right?

Ha. So not right.

Yeah, that was how it was for our parents' generation. That's why all of the adults in my ward who told me that I would just get snatched right up as soon as I got from school planted that idea in my head. But as I found out through experience, dating just isn't that easy anymore. Stupid screwed up society. It shouldn't be that hard. (For more on that topic, see one of my posts from this past summer.)

So in the past year I came to the realization that it really wasn't going to happen. But instead of crying, I embraced it, and as I embraced it I realized how much better it really is this way. In the past three and a half years I really have done so much learning and growing that I couldn't have done if I had been married. I needed to work through things on my own. And I just don't think that I would have been ready to be married yet if I hadn't had some of the experiences that I've had. Finally at age 21 I feel like I could possibly be ready to get married. Not just have the desire, but actually be ready.

But obviously the Lord doesn't think it's the time since He has made other plans for me.

Anyways, the point of this rambling is that while I am like every other Mormon girl and the greatest desire of my heart is really just to get married, I am perfectly ok with the fact that I'm not yet. I'm not worried. I'm not freaking out that I'm graduating unmarried. Life will go on and there will be opportunities after college.

I Hope They Call Me On a Mission...

Yes.

I am going on a mission.

Not when I've grown a foot or two...I'm turning in my papers in like a month or two.

Crazy, yes, I know.

But, this is definitely not a decision that I took lightly. And it's not because I'm 21, graduating from college unmarried. I know it's what the Lord wants me to do, and I feel like it really is a puzzle piece that will help my life make sense.

And you know what else? After months and months (this decision has been in the works for a while now) of me thinking that this was going to be a huge trial, an awfully unfair thing in my life...I've changed my mind. I am excited and I know that this is going to be an incredibly huge blessing in my life.

And it's not the Lord punishing me, or playing some kind of mean joke on me. He trusts in me enough to preach His Gospel to His children and help bring them to the truth. He has faith that I will be able to do it. So you know what? I have faith that he will help me do it.

So there we go. You might have heard rumors. I guess this is officially public news.

This is happening.

I love those days when the Lord answers your prayers in exactly the way that you had in mind.

A few things on my mind:

1. Teaching is hard. I am now officially solo teaching, although last week I was pretty much soloing anyways. That means that from the second the bell rings to start the day until it rings to dismiss the kids, 26 10- and 11-year-olds are under my command. MUAHAHAHA. It's actually really quite fun because I can tease them and be mean to them and tell them "because I said so" (although I'm trying to break that habit...what person ever wants to be told that they can't do something because someone in authority tells them merely because they say that can't? I am finding though that usually the true answer would be "because it's annoying."). I really do have to suppress a smile when I go up to the board to erase points because they're being little pukes. Apparently Ms. Griffiths is a different person from Stephanie. Don't get me wrong though, I adore those kids. They are cute and hilarious and I would much rather just play with them all day than have to be an authoritative figure and make them behave. I think that's the hardest part. Nope. Lies. The hardest part is trying to help them all succeed. Eh, I don't feel like getting into that right now. But just know it's hard.
2. Teaching has changed the way that I think. Example: My brother was planning on coming to do laundry at my house tomorrow after I get home from school. I just remembered that I promised my boss that I would stay at work until like 7 or 8 tomorrow to work on a project. I texted Jeff saying laundry tomorrow was a no go. As I awaited a response, I started immediately trying to come up with a deal to make it easier and happier for both of us. "I'll pick you and your laundry up when I get off work, you do a load of whatever you need for the next day, ride the bike home that I'm supposed to have given you, and I'll finish your laundry and bring it the next day, as long as you buy me dinner at the creamery." Yeah, pre-teacher Stephanie never woulda been able to come up with that. Teacher Stephanie came up with that in about 5 seconds of thinking. Quite a handy skill to possess, no? Also another skill I have acquired: I can do math upside down. That's right. I can write and compute addition, subtraction, and multiplication facts of whole numbers and decimals upside down (we start division at the end of the week so I'll pick that up eventually). Ok, back up and form a line for my autograph. I'll even sign my name upside down if you'd like.
3. I really hate waiting for mail that you know is coming. It's like watching a pot of water while you're waiting for it to boil...it won't ever happen because it knows you're waiting. Gah. I hate being patient.
4. Working out is fantastic. It's a great way to blow steam at the end of a long day at school. And I feel so much better about life when I'm working out everyday.
5. Sometimes life doesn't make sense. Things don't go the way that you want them to. But there's a reason why. Maybe only the Lord knows that reason. But it's so much easier to accept that and have faith to go along with it than try to fight it and hope that He'll change His mind. Because He won't.
6. I love Family Force 5.

'Nuff said.

"...A mosaic of them all."

Yesterday on my way home from Spanish Fork, I saw it and silently squealed with delight: red blotches on the mountains.

You know what that means?

It means it's fall. Autumn. My favorite time of year.

I even started to get a glimpse of it over the weekend. Saturday I woke up with cool, almost nippy air wafting into my bedroom through the open window. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky. The temperature got only slightly above uncomfortable all day. That night was chilly. That crisp, fall air was almost present.

I love fall. It is by far my favorite season. Why? First of all, its a beautiful time of year. Not only does it feel wonderful outside, but it looks pretty too with all the changing colors and everything. Also, there's just something about the things that you can do in the fall that you can't do other times of the year. Especially the holidays. Halloween, Thanksgiving, getting into Christmas. I love, love, love fall festivities. Pumpkins, scary movies, haunted houses, dressing up, eating candy and junk, etc. There's just something about it that is magical.

Sigh. Oh man. I'm so excited. I love this. I just hope that I can catch up enough with my life so that I will be able to enjoy my favorite time of year!

"Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all."
Stanley Horowitz

The Meaning of Life...According to Stephanie

I had an epiphany yesterday. I was sitting in my student teaching seminar, my mind wandering far from whatever boring topic was being talked about, when I had this thought.

I don't remember the exact thought that I had, but I was thinking about how I need to be more charitable and do things for people when I don't have to. I've gotten too much into that selfish attitude of "That's not my responsibility. They can take care of that themselves." I don't mean for it to be rude sounding. I just feel like there are certain things that people need to be able to do themselves and I shouldn't feel responsible for helping them out.

As I was thinking about this though, that little voice in my head-you know the one-said to me, "Now, that's not very Christlike. What would Jesus do?"

And that's when I realized it. Yeah, it might not be my responsibility to do that something for someone. They might be perfectly capable of doing it themselves. Or maybe they do need someone's help. But what would the Savior do? He wouldn't even think about it. He would do whatever he could to help that person and show that He loves them.

Life is about learning how to do the things that we don't particularly want to do.

Simple as that. That's what life is about. Think about it. I feel like this really is a blanket statement about life. We're trying to learn how to fight against our human nature and do the right thing. Whether it's being more charitable when you don't feel like it should be required, or any number of other things.

My goal right now? To be more charitable. I want for it to be my first nature to do something for someone, even when they don't need it. I'm going to stamp that selfish monster out of me that has moved in over the past few years.

"If you have knowledge, let others light their candles at it." -Margaret Fuller

Ms. Griffiths. That is currently my name this to 26 5th graders.

Student teaching. So exhausting. So much fun.

I'll expound more on my experiences as student teacher at a later time. That is, if I ever figure out how to make time to do something besides sleep, school, and plan lessons. I am not getting paid enough for this. (No, I'm not getting paid at all.)

I just wanted to say this: learning is awesome!

I wish that my fifth graders could be learning as much as I am right now about the explorers of the 16th century. Reading is the greatest.

I think that's one of the many reasons why I chose teaching as my profession. Because that means I'll be learning forever. I'll be reading books and learning new things for the rest of my life. And how awesome is that?

Ok, sorry, there wasn't any real reason for this post. It was mostly just to take a brief break from my Vespucci, Balboa, and Magellan lesson I'm planning for tomorrow.

Bonus points to anyone who knows who those people are and what they did without looking it up.

Why August is the worst month in existence...

1) It is hotter than HADES, no matter where you are. This is especially awful when your car's a/c decides to suddenly die, and when the house you live in has a swamp cooler and nobody that lives there knows what that means.

2) It is moving time. Boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff. And more boxes. It feels like the place in which you live should be featured on one of those pack rat shows. You can't function properly, like eat or sleep in a normal fashion, because your place is such a disaster. And it makes everyone stressed and moody. (In case you were unaware, 6 girls who are of this disposition...not pleasant at all.)

3) Provo's calm(ish), good sized summer population EXPLODES. There is traffic everywhere and the grocery store and Walmart, etc. are unnecessarily crowded with people who just reappeared in town. It is kind of annoying.

4) Summer comes to an end...and I don't need to expound any further as to why that is sad.

But...here's to September.

"This summer's a one to remember..."

This has been the best summer of my life.

I remember as we were headed into the summer, I had a feeling. I distinctly remember Marjorie and I sitting on her balcony wrapped in blankets in the cool, spring air one night, saying, "This is going to be a good summer."

And it has been.

Yes, there are a few people, some of my best friends actually, who I have missed this summer. But I think this was one of those times where I really truly learned the meaning of the saying, "Life is what you make it."

I coulda had another summer like last year.... I could have sat around and been kind of anti-social and gone to bed early and cared only about working out because I was heartbroken and missing my best friends. But I didn't. I decided to keep going with what I've got and not think about what I was missing.

What made this summer so fun? I think it was just that first of all I had a great group of friends that I really enjoyed being with, no matter what we were doing. Whether we were doing something crazy, sitting by the pool, or just sitting in our oven temperature apartments. But it was also that we did do lots of crazy things. Here's a list of some of the awesome things we did this summer:

• tumbling gym
• elevator sardines in the Kimball tower
• visit ghost towns
• Manti pageant
• water polo
• push each other in the pool at least once every other week
• drive-in movie
• bonfires
• played with sugar gliders
• dirty dash
• tons of games at the park, day and night
• sleep outside
• look at the stars
• penguin slide down the hill in front of the periodical windows of the library
• nerf war
• volleyball
  
• rope swing at the pond in Mona
• go out to eat too much
• karaoke
• etc.

[While this has been a super great summer and I've loved almost every minute of it and the friendships that have come from it, I'm not completely sorry that it's coming to an end. All good things have to end, don't they? It's been grand, but I'm ready for change. I'm ready for something new. Will it be as great as Summer 2011? Not in the same way, no, but it can be great in it's own way. I've got a pretty good feeling about Fall 2011 too.]

I wrote that a week ago. That is not how I'm feeling today though.

Today was the last day of summer as I've known it. People are leaving. People are coming. Everything is changing.

Roman Gardens, though not who I've been paying my rent bill to, has still been home this summer. Two years. I've literally grown up in this place. I've learned and grown so much in the past two years. The experiences I've had here have shaped me into who I am today. I have to say good bye to this place for real, very soon.

In two weeks I am going to be living in a house with 4 of my friends. We are going to have to adjust to a brand new life. Everything will be new except our friendships with each other. New living situation. New ward. New friends. Then there's school. This is gonna be a crazy semester, probably for all of us. I am not looking forward to how busy and ridiculously hard it's going to be. There are tons of challenges that are going to go along with it that I don't even want to begin to discuss.

I hate this. As much as I thought I was ready for change, as I see it all changing around me I have decided I hate it. I want to rewind and have a redo of the last four months.

But alas, the time machine is not available to the public yet, so I've just gotta make do with what life's gonna give me. I've gotta change my attitude, I think. I keep thinking about all the negatives. Well you know what? There's tons of positives about all this too, right?

Ok, I just had to vent about that for a little bit. Let's get back to the main point of this post:

Summer 2011 is "a one to remember" as Forever the Sickest Kids so nicely put it.

It might be drawing to a close, but that doesn't mean that it didn't happen and that what the future has in store for me won't be just as good, or even possibly better, right?

The End...I Guess

Tonight was the night. The one we've all been waiting for. The past twelve years of my life have led me to this time. Yes.

Holy cow, let me just tell you this: that movie was amazing.

I went into it having high expectations. Usually when I do that I'm kind of disappointed.

Not this time.

It was phenomenal. One of the best movies ever. There were only a few minor things that I was a little bothered by, but nothing that was enough to taint my opinion about this movie. Epic was truly an accurate word to use to describe it.

Unfortunately though, tonight was one of those nights where tears were not readily available. I fully expected to bawl my eyes out as I watched this movie. After all, I did in the book. As I read that Harry was headed into the woods to die, tears streamed down my cheeks and I sobbed my little heart out. Tonight however, even though the tears wanted to come, I could not summon them. I wanted to cry so badly for Snape. That whole scene was done beautifully. It won me over again to Snape’s side. The only time I was able to shed a few tears was in fact as Harry headed into the forest with his loved ones surrounding him. And then it was too awesome to cry.

I thought that at the end I was going to feel empty and maybe a little lost and shed some tears because it was over…but I didn’t. I grinned at how cute of a dad Ronald Weasley was and how Ginny and Harry had darling children. I smiled as it ended.

I don’t feel empty.

I feel fulfilled.

I think I’m going to be alright. I think I’ll survive. Even though the Harry Potter wait is over, life isn’t as meaningless as I thought it might be. I am excited to share my love for Harry with my children and induce them with the same magical excitement that I’ve grown up with over the years.

My love for Harry started as a seed that was planted when I read that first book in the fourth grade. It has grown since then into something I could have never imagined possible for a fictional work. And it will continue to grow, no matter that it is the end. Love knows no limits.

(Yes, I am kind of aware that it sounds like I'm on drugs. It is the middle of the night, therefore I blame that for how ridiculous this is.)

"Someday My Prince Will Come...He's Just Lost..."

I've heard many girls say this. Admittedly I was one of them, back in my silly teenage years when I didn't understand how love worked.

But, why would I know how it really worked? I was basing all my love knowledge off what Disney had taught me since I was old enough to stare at a television screen. Those ideas were only validated through the years with other movies and books that I internalized.

A few weeks ago I watched The Little Mermaid. It's a classic, and I love it, but watching these kinds of movies makes me so frustrated at the message that they are sending to children, namely girls who will grow up thinking that love is something that it's not. When Ariel yells, "But Daddy, I love him!" I almost laughed out loud. You do not love him, you idiot girl. You think he's hot, and he seems like a nice person. You can say you have a crush on him. But love? No.

Think about it. Most Disney movies (honestly, most movies in general) have this skewed definition of the word "love." Aladdin and Jasmine are in "love" after one magic carpet ride. The Muses convince Meg to admit she's in love with Hercules after spending one great day with the hunky demigod. I could go on, but I'll spare you. It drives me crazy though that in these movies people think that they can get away with substituting the word infatuation with the word love.

These movies, and most books too, send completely the wrong message about what love is, and I think that because of that, society is kind of screwed up. It has messed with girls heads and because of that they act stupidly and make it harder for the boys and so then the boys are pansies and dating just sucks.

Here's a common scenario:

Girl bursts in the apartment and squeals. "John just asked me on a date!" Her girlfriends all squeal too and excitedly things are said like, "Oh, he must really like you!" "The two of you are such a cute couple!" "I knew he was in love with you!"

Whoa. Hold the phone. John isn't in love with her. They are not a couple. He doesn't even know if he really likes her. John just knew that this girl, who is a good friend, was fun to be with and he thought she was kinda cute and maybe he thought there was potential interest for something more than friendship, therefore he asked her on a casual date to see if perhaps their friendship could turn into something more.

Well, word gets back to John that these things are being said about him and this girl and he freaks out. He takes her on the date, but things are completely awkward and not as easy going as it should have been. He drops her off at the end of the night and never speaks to her again and never asks another girl on a date. He dies, alone and miserable.

Ok, maybe the last thing is a bit of an exaggeration. But the rest of it, totally legit.

Really though, girls seem to have this mindset, and it totally has ruined dating. Guys are totally scared to ask girls on dates because they think that it means they have to be committed to them. How utterly ridiculous!

I really think that this is the root of the dating problem here in Provo. Everybody thinks that a date=commitment.

Not true!

A date should be a fun time getting to know someone better to see if there is potential in a further relationship. Girls need to figure out how to get out of that mindset that when a boy asks her out that means that he really likes her.

I'll speak for most girls and admit that for some reason in our minds we do skip way ahead in the game. A boy asks you out and you're like, "Oh man, what if he's the one and we get married?" I think that I am making progress in getting out of this mindset, however. I at least know how ridiculous it is and try not to do it.

Boys can work on fixing the whole problem too: ask girls out! You know a girl who you think is cute and you enjoy hanging out with her. Take her on a date! And a date doesn't have to be some big, elaborate thing. Take her to get an ice cream cone. Walk to the park and have a picnic and play on the playground. It doesn't have to be six hours long and your wallet doesn't have to be $50 lighter. I think a casual date should be at most $10 or less, and only an hour or two. So, you can spend this little bit of one-on-one time with this girl and see if maybe you wanna be more than just friends. If not, no big deal. You're still friends and nothing has been lost.

The real problem in all this though? How the heck do we get people to change their mindset to more of this way of thinking? Especially when it has been ingrained in their mind that there's such a thing as love at first sight and that mere infatuation is actually deep, true love?

Beats me. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Going on a date would be a nice thing, at least once in a while.

Perfection is Overrated

I realized something today.

I look at the good in others and I think that the good outweighs the bad.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not blind to the bad. I know that people aren't perfect. I don't think that my friends can do no wrong. But hey, none of us are perfect, so why hate on someone because of this flaw or that flaw, or perhaps a list of flaws?

Once there was this guy that I liked. My roommate tried to point out reasons why I shouldn't like him. He does this. Or he says things like that. Or he doesn't do this. Blah blah blah. Okay, yeah, he's not the perfect guy. I'm not oblivious to all of his flaws. I could have told you all of those things myself. And no, they aren't exactly desirable qualities, but I can overlook and forgive him for them because of the good qualities.

I've had similar circumstances happen with friends before. My roommates and close friends will start to pick apart the qualities of some of our other friends. "Have you noticed that he does this? Doesn't that just drive you crazy?" Sometimes I haven't noticed. Then I usually do after it's pointed out. On rare occasion then it will drive me crazy...but a lot of the time I just shrug and say, you know what? It's ok because he isn't perfect and I can be his friend even though he isn't perfect.

Just something on the mind. It kinda drives me crazy how condemning people can be towards one another. Can't we just look at the positive and the things that we like? then the negative won't be so apparent and we can all just be happy and get along, right? Well, maybe.

A Good Kind of Lost

I LOVE reading.

There are very few things that top being lost in a book. I just adore that feeling when you are sucked in a book and can't put it down.

My very favorite is when the author pulls a twist that you could have never seen coming in your life. You're thinking things are going this way and then BAM! everything changes. Oh man I love a good surprise.

I just finished reading this book:

So good! It's the first book in the...continuation series of Percy Jackson. I'll rephrase that.

Rick Riordan wrote a five-book series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, starting with The Lightning Thief. I bought those books last fall as an investment for my future classroom library and finally read them in February. So awesome! I couldn't put them down. Critics say that they are comparable to Harry Potter...I agree. And that's saying something, since I've always said Harry was my one true love. Well, this is the first book in a new series that Riordan is writing which is basically a continuation of the first series. New main characters, but the old ones are there too, ya dig?

Anyways, I read this 550 page book in just a few short days. It was awesome. And I'm not just referring to the book itself. The fascination I had with reading the story was awesome. I seriously cannot express the love I have for that feeling of being sucked into a good book. But I know that it's one of the reasons I want to be a teacher. I'm super excited about sharing awesome books like Percy Jackson with my students. I'm also super excited about sharing them with my own children. You had better believe that I'm gonna have nightly read alouds with my kids until they move out of the house. Haha, well, we'll see.

I think what I like so much about reading is that it's an escape from reality. I know that in past times when I've been in a rough patch where life is just seemingly awful, reading has been one of the only escapes that has helped me. I get so lost in the world of the book that I forget about my own world. I'm so concerned with the lives of the characters I forget about my own life. It's a wonderful escape.

While I was sweeping at work today I was thinking though how reading books like this makes my life seem so boring. How awesome would it be if I had an exciting life like Percy Jackson or Harry Potter or the Pevensies or Taran and Eilonwy? It would be so cool to be introduced to an awesome world like Camp Half-Blood or Hogwarts. To know that your life has an awesomely cool purpose, like saving the world.

But, I guess that's the beauty about our world. We get to use our imagination and escape to these wonderfully magical worlds, but then when we come back to reality we get to shape our own lives and come up with our own purpose. I strongly believe that you can make yourself whatever you want to be. So I'm not a child of a Greek god, that doesn't mean I can't save the world, does it?

Well, I have no idea what the main idea of this post is. It was supposed to be just how I love to read, but I obviously went in some different directions with that original train of thought. Maybe the whole purpose was just an advertising ploy to get you all to read Percy Jackson. I should be getting paid for this.

My Bucket List

Back at the beginning of January, I sat down and thought that I would come up with some new years resolutions. Well, honestly I think they are kind of silly. I think you can come up with resolutions just about any time you want. So I decided to go a different route.

Sometime last year I heard someone say that they had a list of 100 goals for their life. I thought this was kind of a cool idea. I had a list of 21 things I wanted to do before I'm 21, but that's not going to happen since I've got less than two months and lots of stuff to still do. Having a bucket list for the rest of my life sounds good though. No deadlines. So, instead of making a list of new years resolutions, I've spent the last five months brainstorming 100 things I want to do before I die. I've got the rest of my life to do them. Ready, set, GO.

1. Graduate from college. [Dec 2011]
2. Get my motorcycle license.
3. Learn how to hot wire a car.
4. Marry my best friend in the temple.
5. Learn how to hip hop dance.
6. Make an awesome quilt.
7. Build a bookshelf that is usable.
8. Publish a story.
9. Bake a cake from scratch, successfully.
10. Eat an entire pizza.
11. Milk a cow.
12. Zip line through a rainforest.
13. Eat real sushi in Japan.
14. Go to Disney World/Land.
15. Ride a double-decker bus through London.
16. Be in a movie.
17. Buy a house.
18. Change the oil in my car.
19. Have children.
20. Ride a roller coaster 10 times in a row.
21. Go on a cross country road trip, purely with sightseeing intentions.
22. Learn how to shoot a bow and arrow.
23. Mix together a huge tub of cornstarch and water to play in.
24. Be an EFY counselor.
25. Become a snowboarder.
26. Run a half marathon.
27. Do a triathlon.
28. Read all of the Newberry winners.
29. Read all the Caldecott winners.
30. Go para-sailing.
31. Own a convertible.
32. Watch all 6 Star Wars movies in one day.
33. Learn how to proficiently play the guitar.
34. Learn how to proficiently play the ukulele.
35. Be able to play hymns on the piano.
36. Have a dog.
37. Make out in an elevator.
    
38. Go on a cruise.
39. Know every word to every Family Force 5 song.
40. Learn how to Latin dance.
41. Read all of Shakespeare's plays.
42. Touch a cloud.
43. Go scuba diving.
44. Be able to write legibly with my left hand.
45. Work at a library.
46. Coast all the way down 9th East in neutral (from about Heritage to Golds Gym). [June 2011]
47. Toilet paper someone's house.
48. Take pictures in a photo booth. [September 2011]
49. Catch the bouquet at a wedding. [sorta... August 2013]
50. Become a fully licensed teacher (not just "provisional").
51. Eat a half gallon of ice cream in one sitting.
52. Learn how to do a back hand spring.
53. See a ballet in Russia.
54. Visit all 50 states.
55. Visit all of the continents (Antarctica not included).
56. Go for a hot air balloon ride.
57. Be able to walk on my hands.
58. Sit first class on an airplane.
59. Ride on a private jet.
60. Shake the prophet's hand.
61. Eat an entire rack of ribs.
62. Go in every building on campus.
63. Read all of Jane Austen's novels.
64. Hike Mount Timpanogos.
65. Stand on top of the Kimball Tower.
66. Write a memoir.
67. Read all 7 Harry Potter books in one week.
68. Ride on a train as a form of real transportation.
69. Watch all the Lord of the Rings movies in one sitting.
70. See the aurora borealis.
71. Go play in the sand dunes.
72. Have my picture taken with a celebrity.
73. Bury a time capsule.
74. Learn how to frown. [2012]
75. Live in a foreign country for at least six months.
76. Catch a fish. [September 2013]
77. Karaoke. [July 28, 2011]
78. See a movie in 3D. [October 2011]
79. Indoor skydiving.
80. Go to the Bean Museum.
81. Go to a planetarium.
82. Ride a mechanical bull.
    
83. Learn how to circle breathe.
84. Donate my hair to Locks of Love.
85. Ride in a helicopter.
86. Tie dye a shirt. [June 2011]
87. Splatter paint something awesome.
88. Give up something for Lent.
89. Take a picture of myself every day for one year.
90. Make a tin can telephone.
91. Watch Titanic.
92. Sneak milk and cereal into the movie theater. [June 2011]
93. Learn how to do the worm.
94. Get a hickey.
95. Chinese fire drill.
96. Be on the radio.
97. Ride in a limo.
98. Stay in a hotel suite in Vegas.
99. Go to the Smithsonian.
100. Go skinny dipping.
     

Lesson #16

You are never alone.

Sometimes life is rough. We've all been there, obviously.

The way to make it not so rough? Share it with people.

There's always someone who cares about you. It might be hard to find that person that you can talk to. That you want to talk to.

Sometimes it seems like nobody cares. Maybe they're all busy with their own lives. You don't want to burden them with your problem or you don't think they would care. This may or may not be true.

If it seems to be the case, you're still not alone. Get on your knees and pray. That's a source that will always be there. And it's a source that will always be able to comfort you and make you feel better. I speak from experience.

So don't get discouraged about life. You can always find someone to help you through the rough patches.

Lesson #15

Be yourself!

I've learned that being yourself is the best way to be. I've definitely been in those situations where I've just met someone, or maybe I'm talking to a guy I like and I try to tell them things or answer questions the way that I think that they would like me to.

Why do we do that though? (I know that surely I'm not the only one who does...) It's ridiculous.

Life is so much easier when you are openly and truly yourself. Answer the question according to the way that you actually feel and think. Talk about things that you really do care about. People should get to know you and like you for who you really are, not who they think you are.

Slowly over the years, my best friends have gotten to know the true me. And you know what? They still like me. In fact, I would dare say that they like me a lot. And I like them for who they are and their true selves. And you know what? If I woulda known that guys liked girls who knew Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, I woulda been pulling that card out for years.

So, don't ever pretend to be something your not, or hide who you really are. Be proud of you and let other people like you for it too!

Lesson #14

Focus on the certainties of life.

Today at church Bishop talked about this and I realized that I had been thinking about this lately too.

Two months ago, if you had asked me where I was gonna be in a year or so, I could have told you exactly where I was gonna be. I was pretty certain about a couple of things.

But in the months of April and May, all of those certainties have turned into uncertainties. I graduate in December and I have no idea what I'm doing after I have that diploma in my hand. People ask me what I'm gonna do, where I'm gonna go, and I just tell them I have no idea. And honestly, I feel like they judge me for my lack of an answer. There are tons of areas of my life that are just so up in the air that I have no clue how to even begin to guess how they might turn out.

You know what though? I don't care. Because there are a few things that I'm certain of, and if I stick with what I do know then I know I'll be fine.

1. I have a Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me and is guiding my life in the way that really is best for me, even though I can't see why that is right now.
2. My Savior is there to comfort me and help me through the rough times.
3. The church is true. I can't go wrong as long as I stand by that.
4. I have family and friends who love and care about me and will always be there to help me. I am there for them too.

Those things I know. So that's what I'm going to focus on. Sure, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when January comes around. Yeah, it's scary and I hate not knowing, but I'm not worried. Why? Because of those four things I just listed up there.

So when you feel like you are lost and everything is so uncertain in your life, just stop. Sit down, grab a piece of paper and a pen and jot down a list of just a few things that you know without a doubt. Then, go from there.

Lesson #13

The weekend is for fun.

You work hard all week. You go to work. You go to school. You try to responsibly go to bed at a decent time. Now it's Friday.

Friday through Sunday...forget everything. Don't do homework. Don't worry about what you've gotta do the next week. Let your hair down and have some fun!

Last night was the perfect Friday night. Me and my girls went out to eat and gorged ourselves as we normally do from the value menu. We then sat and talked there for much longer than we intended. We laughed hysterically about ridiculous things and then laughed hysterically some more about nothing. We had some friends over and hung out, played some cards, had a good time. Then we sat on the balcony and stayed up talking about everything under the sun until the night was half over.

It was simple, but it was awesome because we were just chilling, not worrying about anything, and loving every minute of it.

There is a time to be responsible, but not as a college student on the weekend.

Lesson #12

Food is important.

There are many things that I've learned about food. Here's just a few:

1) Make it a priority. Yeah, I've been late to class or work because I took the time to actually make lunch or dinner or whatever meal. And you know what? It was ok. And then I wasn't grumpy later because I was hungry.

2) Take advantage of free food. This is especially applicable to college students. Someone you know is having a BBQ? You go for the free food, if for nothing else. You've gotta eat, why not eat on someone else's tab when you can?

3) Always have food with you. Even if it's a granola bar or fruit snacks. You'll be grateful.

Lesson #11

Focus on the good, not the bad.

There are so many times in my life that I've just gone to bed at night saying, "Man, my life sucks." I'm sure you've done that too.

Something I have learned recently though is that it's really all about attitude.

I know, this sounds cliche..."With a positive attitude, ANY situation can be great!" But it's so true!

Yeah, I could walk around thinking about all the things that make my life awful.

I could also walk around thinking about all the things that make my life wonderful. There are kind of a lot. And when it's those wonderful things that I'm thinking about, life is wonderful.

Don't focus on what you're lacking. Focus on what you've got.

Faith is also an important ingredient in this. Maybe there is a lot lacking in your life right now. Well, have faith that it won't be like that for long.

Really, try it. You'll be so much happier with your life. That's how I've been the past month, and let me tell you, this month has been fantastic, even though there's tons I could complain about.

Lesson #10

Don't get stuck in the past.

This is something that I've definitely learned in the past while.

I am a very sentimental person. Everything reminds me of someone or that one time. That can be fun, but sometimes it isn't. Like when you can't stop thinking about a person even though you know you need to because you have to move on with your life.

I think I've gotten really good at it though recently. I used to be awful though. For example, for nine months I hated living in Roman Gardens because I was comparing the ward and the people to what it had been the year before. The result? I spent a lot of time shut up in my apartment being antisocial. I didn't have any friends besides my roommates and the few people that had lived there the year before that I was friends with. I had fun with them, but I greatly limited the amount of awesome people I could have known and a lot more fun that I could have had.

In about February, I think, something clicked. I realized I really needed to branch out and stop dwelling in the past. And you know what? I found out that there were some awesome people in the ward that I would have loved to have been friends with for the whole year. I had really missed out.

One of my previous lessons is about learning from the past. I guess this lesson is kind of just building off that one.

The past has already happened. There's nothing you can do to go back. Sometimes it's nice to relive those moments and some memories will never really fade, but that doesn't mean that you should dwell on them all the time.

You have to live in the present. Live for your future. Don't get too sucked into that either though. I seem to have a hard time living in the present, but I feel like I've finally gotten a pretty good hang of it.

Be happy with the present though. Live each day to the fullest. Take chances, do what you want! Don't stay stuck living in memories.

Lesson #9

Heartache is real. But really, it’s worth it.

All of my life I’ve been listening to songs about people with “broken hearts.” I always thought it was just one of those poetic sounding metaphors. Yeah, you hurt because you don’t have someone anymore and you miss them and it sucks. Broken heart...sure, that sounds comparable to that. Well, I’m here to tell you it’s not just a metaphor. It is for real.

When your heart is broken, you literally feel a pain in your chest. Maybe it doesn’t feel like your heart has been ripped or shredded into pieces, but it feels like something is missing. Or at least that’s what my experience has been.

You just ache, physically and emotionally, and there isn’t much that makes it feel better. Sometimes keeping busy so you don’t think about it works, but that’s only temporary relief. You’re only fighting it. At the end of the day, as you climb in bed, all you can do is curl up into the fetal position and pray that sleep comes soon so you can escape reality.

Yes, dramatic, I know. But that’s how I’ve felt. Yes, slowly it gets better and you heal, but not before it has sucked a lot.

So then, why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why would we ever subject ourselves to the possibility of being hurt and going through this pain?

Because love is worth it.

There is nothing greater than love. Maybe I’m being a bit Moulin Rouge-ish, but isn’t that what we’re looking for in life? Maybe you disagree, but that’s what I think.

So when you’re aching with a broken heart, just think about how happy you once were. How happy you can be again one day. And, maybe not in the moment, you’ll know that the pain was worth the joy.

Lesson #8

There’s always time to read if you make time.

I learned this from my children’s literature class I took a couple years ago. For homework, we were expected to read 40 minutes, at least five days a week. Each week we turned in a reading log, just like you probably did when you were in third grade. Forty minutes, five days. Not 10 here, 30 here, 260 there. For 5 days you had to read at least forty minutes.

Impossible sounding, I know. We were astounded when we found out that was what was expected of us. As college students we barely have time to sleep while getting all of our other homework done. How can we squeeze 40 minutes of reading into each day?

Well my friends, it is in fact possible. It’s not exactly easy, but if you say you’re gonna read for 40 minutes a day and you make an effort to, you will.

And you know what? It’s worth it! All you have to do is consciously decide that you’re going to make time to read and that time will be there. Sure, you might have to give up some facebook time, but I think everyone would be better off if they would give up some facebook time each day and do something more productive and educational , like read.

So if you're sitting there, wishing you had more time so you could read novels for purely recreational reasons, know that there is time, you just have to find it.

Lesson #7

(FYI, I haven't been slacking. I have very limited internet access in my life right now, so that's my excuse for the missed days. Deal with it.)

Don’t wash your hair every day.

Ok, this one is more for girls.

I had heard for years that you weren’t supposed to wash your hair every day. It’s bad for your hair. I still don’t completely understand it, but I’ll go with it. Something about the natural oils blah blah blah.

Well, I never really paid attention to that. I figured that every time I got in the shower that meant I had to wash my hair. And then sometime in the past, maybe six months or so? I realized that just because you’re in the shower doesn’t mean you have to wash your hair. Shocking, I know!

So I started only washing my hair every other day. I haven’t been super consistent with that, but I have become one of those girls that doesn’t wash her hair every single day.

There have been a couple times in the last week where I got compliments from my boss and some friends saying I looked cute. (It’s been a while since I’ve tried to play the cute card, so it's nice.)

Well, on these particular days, it had been like 2 or 3 days since the last time I had washed my hair. I pulled my hair in a bun or a low ponytail and bobby pinned my out of control bangs back out of my face. Stuck a cheapo flower from an old dance costume in my hair. Bam. (I’ve realized that bam is kinda a new catch phrase of mine. Dunno where it came from, but I like it.)

Who knew that you could look cute with hair that hasn’t been washed for almost three days?

Lesson #6

Always have a spare car key.

I don't know how many times I've locked my keys in my car the past couple of years. Sophomore year I had to call people to bail me out like 4 times or something. One of those times I even managed to lock them in while the engine was running.

Thankfully for some reason or another, my grandpa made like 4 copies of my keys before giving me the car. My problem for a long time though was that I just kept all those spares in my desk drawer at home. Dumb.

Now I have one in my back pack and one in my wallet. I should probably tape one to my gas cap hatch thing too, just to cover all my bases. But once I started carrying these extra keys around, my life got so much easier. There have been several times when I've walked back to my car from campus or work and I'm digging through my bag and can't find my keys anywhere. Well, there they are still in the ignition for whatever reason. No problem. Here's my spare. Bam.

Maybe this is a dumb lesson that I've learned. I'm sure not everyone is this ridiculous. But, you never know when you might accidentally lock your keys in the car. Perhaps with your three-year-old son on the hottest day of the summer in Georgia (that's a story to ask my mother one day).

Better safe than sorry, I always say.

Lesson #5

You don't always have to please everybody all the time.

I have always been a people pleaser. I can still remember times when as a kid I got a stern look from a lifeguard and it just about ruined my day.

I've realized though in recent years that it is exhausting, and really impossible, to please everybody. You just can't. Nor are you expected to.

There are times when it is definitely the goal to do whatever you can to make a certain person happy. And sometimes you'll have to make sacrifices to do that.

But you know what? It's ok if sometimes you say or do something that ticks someone else off. You don't have to be apologetic or feel bad.

I'm not saying it's ok to be mean. It's not alright to purposefully tick people off. But if someone chooses to be offended or upset by something you said that you didn't mean for them to take that way, it's their problem, not yours.

Lesson #4

School is not the most important thing.

It has taken me 20 years of my life to finally figure this out. There are more important things than school and homework.

I'm not saying that school is unimportant. Not at all. I think that getting an education is one of the best things you can do with your life. But should it be your #1 priority? I don't think so.

Don't get me wrong. It should be your last priority either. But if all you do is just school and homework, what are you getting from life? Maybe you're a bomb speed reader. Perhaps you write fantastic research papers. But how often are those skills going to be useful in real life?

My philosophy in life has become this: Do your homework, but when some other better offer comes up, take it. Go do something crazy with your friends. That homework will always be there. The opportunities to play won't.

So get an education. Work hard in school. But don't let it get in the way of having fun.

Lesson #3

Don't regret anything!

So many times people say things like, "Why did I do that?" or "Why did I let that happen?"

Yeah, we all make mistakes. There are things that I've done that I look back and say those same things. But I've decided that it's not worth regretting. You can't go back and change what's already happened. There's no point in thinking about what you would have done because it's done.

Of course there are things that I look back on that I've said or done and I just about die of embarrassment. But do I dwell on that humiliating, awful feeling? No! I choose to learn from those mistakes. I choose to use what I've learned next time.

Do I regret anything? No. It's all been for my good. Yeah, I've done things that have made my life suck and that have hurt very badly, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's all worth it in the end.

Lesson #2

Everything is worse at night.

I don't know if this is just a girl thing or an everybody thing, but I have definitely found this to be true. I find myself most stressed out before going to bed. Everything just seems so unmanageable and I hate my life. The world seems awful and horrible and I just want to curl up in a ball and hibernate for a week. The solution? Just go to bed and worry about it the next day. Just about 99% of the time I feel so much better in the morning. I usually laugh at myself and think, "Why on earth was I freaking out like that?" The problems didn't go away. They're still there. They're just a lot more manageable the next day. For whatever reason they are just magnified at night. So when you have that awful feeling in the depths of your soul that makes you just want to cry and crawl under the coffee table to hide from the world...just go to bed.

Lesson #1

Well gosh, life has been super busy lately. School, work, moving, playing. No time for blogging. I’ve started about 10 different posts but haven't ever had time to finish any of them. So here's my idea:

I am going to have a mini-series for the remainder of May. Every day I will have a new post about something that I have learned in life, probably specifically in more recent times. I feel like in the past few years I've learned so much about myself, so much about other people and how to deal with them, so much about life! It's fantastic. Really, I think that everyone needs to move away from home and go to college so they can learn and grow up the way that I have.

Well, we'll see how long I can keep this up and how many things I can come up with. This will be interesting.

Life Lesson #1: Life is crazy!

Your "To Do" list is never going to be empty. Every time you check one thing off, you add three more things. Let's face it, there's not ever going to be enough time to do everything in a day. That's why we have to learn how to prioritize. You've gotta decide what is important for you to do and just do it, no matter the inconvenience it might cause. This is something that I've really realized in the past six months or so, and I'm still working on getting my priorities straight all the time. Sometimes you've gotta give up that extra hour of sleep so you can get up and go running or actually put some thought and effort into scripture study. You'll really realize how much better life is when you make the right things a priority.