Before December Slips Away

This month has been busy and I have neglected to blog any of it.  So here is my attempt to wrap up December in one fell swoop. 

We put the Christmas tree downstairs this year.  It worked out great, but I was hesitant to put the countdown presents under the tree because I worried that Jane would get into the presents.  So I did the countdown differently this year and had some small boxes to open each night that were stored upstairs.  We had some fun doing our nightly activities.  My least favorite activity was ice skating because I fell and sprained my ankle- boo.  16 days later, I am still sore, but healing.  The bruising is nearly all gone too!

 

We visited Wendy's (my sister-in-law) parents the first week of December. Her mom has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and she was recovering from a surgery to remove a mass off of the base of her brain.  We had a wonderful visit. Jane was as charming as ever.  I helped them put their Christmas tree up to help them out.  I went over to Wendy's house and helped her put her tree up as well.  We had a wonderful heart to heart talk.

 We went to Baskin and Robins for some ice cream when it was 10 degrees outside.

 Seth started Jr. Jazz basketball.  He signed up with 3 boys from our neighborhood and they have had a great time.  The weather was bad on the night of their first practice, so Daniel held drills in the garage. I had cleaned the garaged out the week before when it was 60 degrees outside and I'm so glad that I didn't put it off!

 Daniel started Tae Kwon Do at the new studio.  He had his first belt test and advanced to a green belt.  It was an intensive test because he had to test from the white belt requirements to the green belt. He did great and it was quite impressive to watch! 

Daniel's brother Jared bought tickets for everyone to go see Hobbit together, so I watched David's kids while they went to the movie (I really didn't want to go).  Jane had fun playing with the baby!

 We went to the church for a Christmas party.  Jane met Santa and was so excited to discover that he talks!

My little angel

My brother Dan came over for dinner one night and we did our Taylor family Christmas Carol. 

Jane wasn't happy that she couldn't see her character,

 So, she flipped her card around and everyone was happy, well, except for Scrooge!

 Madeleine and Ed came over for our annual party.  We had a delicious dinner and then played some games.  Our countdown gift that night was googley eyes.

 

 We got a little bit silly with them, but had fun!

 Our attempt at a family picture was comical.  I realized that Mark was giving me rabbit ears.  As soon as I had him stop doing that, Jane stuck her tongue out and wouldn't stop.  Oh bother!

 My sister Denise wanted a family Christmas party, but no one had planned it, so last minute I hosted one- out of all of the Utah family, only one person was unable to come, so that worked out pretty good.  We ate dinner, played some games and used Skype to visit with my parents in Illinois and brother in Idaho. 

 I got to meet Dan's girlfriend Taylor.  We joke that when we say Daniel Taylor are we talking to one person, or two?!

 

 We opened some presents early so that Mark and Paul would have their MP3 players for their plane trip to California. 

Mark got a Beardo and loved it!  Unfortunately, he left it on the plane on the way home, but he got good mileage out of it in CA! 

 

They spent a week with Daniel's parents and had a great time.  I was rather jealous- especially of their 75 degree weather!  I am so anxious to go out there this spring!  I'm glad that we took the opportunity to have them spend time with Janet and Les.  Memories were made and a friendship with Mark and Paul seemed to blossom.  Definitely worth it! 

It was really quiet at our house with just the four of us, but we still managed to have a good time.  On Christmas Eve, we had a treasure hunt and played some games.  We even had some elves visit us!

 If you didn't know that I am married to Superman, then I am telling you now.  I am married to the man who put "Supe" in Superman!  When I saw this Snuggie, I couldn't resist!

 Our little family of four

 Jane got a tea set for Christmas, so we had a little tea party.  Daniel and I look so tired in this picture!

 Jane loved her bike, her tiara, her necklace, bracelet, ring and pajamas.  I've been letting her ride the bike around in the house- even pushing the table to the wall to give her room.  She will be a pro come springtime!

 We went to Uncle Ben's house to visit for an afternoon.  There was a lot going on around that couch!

Seth, Jane and I went to see the movie Frozen.  It was  a wonderful movie.  I'm not a huge Disney movie fan, but I really liked this one.  Jane loved it too, but she sat with her hands over her ears for the first 15 minutes because it was too loud for her.  I totally understand!   

 Seth is my superhero!

 

 We did a countdown for New Years, opening a balloon every hour from noon until 8pm.  We had a silly string fight,

 played with play dough, had cheese and crackers, played a card game, made caramel popcorn, lit sparklers, put together a puzzle, played with "indoor firecrackers" (bubble wrap) and played with glow sticks.  Daniel's sister Julia and her husband Jon and baby Bailey joined us for dinner and our countdown activities.  They are here from Florida. 

It was a busy and fun month.  I had everything ready to go for the most part when I sprained my ankle, so I was able to relax a bit and get some computer work done (labeling digital pictures!) I was struggling with depression right before the sprain, but I was immensely blessed to be out of that funk when I was down with the lame leg (Daniel asked me if it would be rude to tell me that I am lame, I said yes, but then realized the pun and laughed not only at the pun, but at my slowness to get the joke!) I was frustrated with the pain and the immobility, but in good spirits. 
I'm so glad to have a great family and fun traditions to share with them.  It is a wonderful life!

I Don't Know What to Say, So I'm Saying Everthing

It isn't too often that I am able to sleep in on a Sunday morning.  Usually the kids get up early (around 6;30-7) and my beauty sleep is disturbed.  This particular Sunday morning I was able to stay in bed until past 9 because the kids got up and played quietly downstairs.  While I was getting my breakfast ready, I unplugged my cellphone and discovered that I had missed two phone calls that morning.  Both were from my parents.  I listened to their messages and knew that there was something wrong.  My dad was in the background pleading for me to call them back.  I called immediately and they broke the news to me that my nephew, Ryan, had died Saturday night.  We talked for a bit and then I had to process the news alone, so I hung up and sat down on the floor in the kitchen. 

On November 2, my 16-year old nephew died.  He died of an accidental gun shot to the neck while he and his buddies (including his 18-year old brother) were cleaning their guns after hunting.  He died nearly instantly with his brother by his side.  My brother has lost a child and that has to be something so painful to experience.  Everyone was in shell shock.  There wasn't time to prepare to say good bye, he was just gone.  Kelly (my brother) said that he doesn't have any regrets with how he spent those 16 years with Ryan.  They had a great relationship and they knew that they each loved one another.  I'm happy for them about that.

The high school student body and the town of Burley Idaho rallied around Ryan's family and friends.  By Sunday evening it was known throughout the Facebook community to wear blue on Monday in honor of Ryan.  Thousands of personal profile pictures were changed to a blue box for Ryan.  It was amazing to see how people showed respect and love to our families.  Even surrounding high schools and communities wore blue and have supported them.

I'm not sure how to continue on with my thoughts.  Everything is feeling rambled. I just want to write everything down that I can remember so that I don't forget:

• I never, ever want to belong to the club that my brother and his wife have just joined.  The club of parent's who have had a child die is full of many wonderful people but I hope to be spared from membership.
• I found myself playing the piano a lot the first week after Ryan died.  I played a lot of peaceful songs, not dark or angry songs (I have a list of songs that I play when I am angry, but they didn't speak to me) I worked on my recital piece, played Christmas songs and hymns.  Music was very calming to me.  I probably played for 2 hours a day in 20-30 minute sessions.  I love how healing it was
• I had a melt down at Target a few days before the funeral.  I had to leave right then and Jane wasn't cool on that plan.  We left with her screaming and crying, so people probably thought that I was leaving because of her but it was totally my fault.
• I found that if I breath very deeply, and slowly that I can stop body shaking sobs.
• Kelly called me Tuesday afternoon while I was in the van in the parking lot.  I texted him on Sunday but didn't want to bother him.  I knew that he was getting a lot of attention (phone calls, visits) and I didn't want to add to that burden.  It would drive me crazy to have all of those people around me and calling me when I am trying to process a close death, so I let him know that I loved him.  It is hard to figure out how to not intrude but also not ignore.  Texts and Facebook messages really are nice to communicate at ones leisure.
• Daniel does not love road trips- and this one was just 3 hours each way!  We decided to head up to Idaho Friday morning  and come back that evening.  It made for a long day, but it worked out fine.  Thank goodness the kids travel better than their dad!
• I was not very close to  Ryan, so I didn't know a lot about him.  His mom gave the eulogy at the funeral and it was beautiful.  Jenn did an amazing job highlighting things about Ryan and their family.  I felt as though I go to know him better (which made me sad that I didn't know him better when he was alive). 
• Ryan wouldn't know how much to appreciate this little fact about me, but I shaved my legs and I wore a dress to the funeral.  I don't do much of either (I shave more often than wearing a dress though), but I knew that it was an important way for me to show my respect and love to him. 
• Burley has roughly 10,000 people and there was about 1000 at the funeral.  That is just amazing.
• When I walked into the church an hour before the funeral, the overflow seating was filled half way, but it was silent.  The silence was very respectful and beautiful. 
• I don't like seeing dead bodies. They did a great job disguising his injuries, but I still didn't like it.  I understand how it is important to other people to see the body though. 
• During the family prayer right before they closed the casket, I made the mistake of looking over and Kelly and Jenn.  They were holding hands and they looked so despondent. I watched Kelly as the casket was being closed and I could see that he was having a hard time being strong. 
• As we drove to the cemetery, the cars on the opposite side of the street all pulled over to the side of the street and waited for the funeral procession.  I thought that it was very respectful.
• Kelly gives great hugs. 
• This experience has opened up a dialogue between me and Daniel about what we would want and how we would want things to happen if one of our children were to die or when one of us dies.  It isn't anything fun to talk about, but it will make it easier to know what we expect from each other.  
• My heart breaks when I think about Craig, the boy who picked up the gun when it went off.  It was a total accident, but he is struggling and feeling terrible.  I am so glad that my brother's family have been accepting of him and are showing him love and forgiveness.  The poor kid. 
• My neighbors and friends are amazing.  I had a hug when it was desperately needed, breakfast supplied, gas money for the road trip, prayers, thoughts and thinking of you messages and I had help rounding up a blue shirt for Seth, hemming my dress and help with the dishes (in the form of paper plates!).
• It really is hard to know what to do for someone when they experience a death in the family or of a close friend.  I honestly didn't know how to help Kelly and his family.  I realized that doing dishes is difficult on the best of days and I knew that they wouldn't have a lot 'best' days for a while, so I supplied them with paper plates, bowls, plastic utensils, paper towels, and garbage bags to take care of the extra trash.  I gave them a box of tissues (with lotion) and a package of toilet paper.  I told Kelly that the tissues were to wipe their tears and the toilet paper was because this is just a shitty thing to go through as a parent.  (That is something that is right up Kelly's humor alley!)
• My sisters and I put together a wreath for Ryan.  We didn't want to do flowers, because they die and we think that it is kind of cruel, so we decided to make a wreath out of cars because he loved racecars.  He had dreams of working his way into the racing circuits after his mission. He was in the top 100 in the nation in the computer racing world.  The wreath turned out even better that I had envisioned.  It was a great tribute to Ryan and a healing time for me, Denise and Kim to be together (even though I got a migraine from the glue we used).
• My day to day life wasn't changed when Ryan died, but it was for Kelly, Jenn, Kyle, Natalie and Tyler.  They have to figure out their new kind of normal with out Ryan and my heart aches for them to have to experience it. 
• I've heard that time doesn't make the pain go away, but it makes it easier to handle the pain of a death. 
• I'm finding myself snuggling with Jane a little bit longer than I used to. I am enjoying listening to my children play together more than I did last month. Patience is not my virtue, but I've been trying to be more patient with the kids, show them more love and make sure that they know how much I love them.  
• As we drove home from Idaho, there was a beautiful sunset.  It was very peaceful.  The colors in the sky changed and they lingered for a long time.  In a way I used that as my send off  or my final goodbye to Ryan. 
• My kids and I love Nesquick. chocolate powder.  We discovered that Ryan loved it too, so now when I pull out my big bucket of Nesquick, it puts a smile on my face because it reminds me of Ryan.  That is what I will always remember about him, is his big smile, he was such a great kid! 

Rest in peace Ryan
With love, your favorite Aunt Sherron

   

Zucchini Bread Love

I tried to make zucchini bread a few years back when I went gluten-free, but it wasn't a great success, so I didn't bother to make anymore.  I got the hankering for a good slice of zucchini bread, so I tried it again.  This time it worked out great!  I made a few tweaks in a recipe that is from the Lion House.

Here is the recipe:

Zucchini Bread

3 eggs                                                                   3 cups gluten-free flour mix*

1 cup brown sugar                                           1 tsp. baking soda

1 cup white sugar                                             1 tsp. baking powder

1 cup oil (I used olive oil)                               1 tsp. nutmeg                                   

2 cups grated zucchini                                    2 tsp. cinnamon

                                                                                ½ tsp. salt

                                                                                1 tsp. vanilla

 

Beat eggs.  Beat in sugar, then oil. Add zucchini.   Combine dry ingredients and then add to the zucchini mix.  Stir in vanilla.  Pour into two greased loaf pans (I used a 7x3 pan).  Bake 1 hour at 325 degrees.  Let cool on a wire rack and then turn out of the pan. 

 *for the flour mix, I used what I had on hand which was:

1 cup of my standard gf mix (2 parts cornstarch to 3 parts rice flour),
1 cup of “Grandpa’s Kitchen Flour Mix” which is rice flour, potato starch, tapioca flour, corn starch, sorghum flour and xanthan gum
1 cup almond flour

 

I also made these into muffins, but I didn’t like the texture nearly as well as I like the texture in the loaf pan.  The longer cooking time helped erase the gritty texture of the rice flour and the almond flour. 

I've got a black thumb, but thankfully my neighbors take pity on me and gift me zucchini from their gardens.  I had some that needed to be used up, so I made some zucchini bread pancakes.  We love to have pancakes for dinner, so I thought that I'd try some of these.  They are quite hardy and really didn't require a lot of syrup.  We used some freshly made peach jam on them and that was very tasty!  The boys liked them- we ate all of them (except for the one that I accidentally burned- no one wanted that one!)  

I just took a recipe from online and changed a few things to be gluten and dairy-free.  I used 1/2 cup of my 3 parts rice flour to 2 parts cornstarch mix and 1/2 cup of almond flour.  Instead of the buttermilk I used almond milk. 

 http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/07/zucchini-bread-pancakes/

Makes 10 to 12 pancakes
2 large eggs
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons light brown, dark brown or granulated sugar
1/4 cup buttermilk or 2 tablespoons each of milk and plain yogurt, whisked until smooth
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups shredded zucchini (from about 9 ounces whole, or 1 1/2 medium zucchini), heaping cups are fine
1 cup all-purpose flour (half can seamlessly be swapped with a whole wheat flour)
1/4 teaspoon table salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground or freshly grated nutmeg
Butter or oil, for coating skillet
In a large bowl, combine eggs, olive oil, sugar, buttermilk and vanilla until smooth. Stir in zucchini shreds. In a smaller bowl, whisk together flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir dry ingredients into zucchini batter, mixing until just combined.
Preheat oven to 200°F and place a tray — foil-lined if you’re into doing fewer dishes later — on a middle rack.
Heat a large, heavy skillet (my favorite for pancakes is a cast-iron) over medium heat. Once hot, melt a pat of butter in pan and swirl it around until it sizzles. Scoop scant 1/4-cup dollops of batter (mine were about 3 tablespoons each) in pan so the puddles do not touch. Cook until bubbles appear on the surface, about 2 to 3 minutes. Flip pancakes and cook another minute or two, until golden underneath. Transfer pancakes to prepared pan to keep warm as well as ensure that they’re all cooked through when they’re served. Repeat with remaining batter. Serve warm. Repeat next weekend.

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

 

My friend Shelley did the face painting at the neighborhood party.  Jane wanted to be a kitty- she loved it!

 

 

Mark likes Dr. Who, so I made his bedroom door into a TARDIS door.  Not done, but done enough to hang. 

We went to the Thanksgiving Point Gardens with Shelley and her two boys.  Jane was on day 3 of no naps and was not the most pleasant little girl to have along with us.  I told Seth to give me a grumpy face to match Jane's, but he was really in a good mood!

Parker, Jane, Seth, Carson

Seth, Me and Jane

Mark earned his blue-red belt this month.  He is over half way to earning his black belt! He has had a few times where he didn't want to go to practice, but after we make him go, he comes out of class with a great attitude.  They work the students hard in the class, but he loves it! 

Jane was quiet when she had a sucker in her mouth.  When she wasn't eating her sucker, she was either cheering Mark on and yelling "You did it!" or dancing in front of the mirror. 

Mark said that he had to "beat the crap out of little kids to get this belt". 

Seth had fun at scouts.  They made rockets out of plastic bottles and then they shot them off at the park. He also received his Wolf award.   

When Daniel had his golf tournament, I got to watch my nephew Crew.  He is a year younger than Jane, but they are just about the same size.  He is a good little kid- very, very smart, too (he can count to 10, name all of his colors and recite the alphabet at age 28 months)

 

This is the quilt that I have been working on here and there for the past two years.  I finally have it ready to start quilting. 

quilt back