Journaling

I've decided to start keeping up on my blog again to maybe help me deal with life and my thoughts and feelings. Also to give mike a break! Lol that's why he's so good at archery its his stress relief! This year has been so hard on both of us. Last week was really hard I had a lot of  pain again and so much fatigue I couldn't t do anything again. This week is better, I'm sleeping better and waking up feeling happier. Yesterday I went to the gym and lifted some legs and did abs, I was only there about 15 min or so but it felt good. Today I felt like I worked out but it wasn't bad. I've just been really down today, I get frustrated when little things take me forever like cleaning the stuff off the stove top. I didn't do it yesterday so it was bad today and it took me 20mins and my hands cramped up and my shoulders and arms where killing me and I had to stop and rest! It's those little things that frustrate me! But I need to remember where I've been and where I am now! Sunday I had a break down after watching and following the marathons over the week I felt so sad and frustrated that maybe I will never run a race again! I was really having a bad pity party Sunday morning and crying and upset I didn't want to go to church but I was already dressed and told myself I could leave any time I needed to. The opening song was be tho humble, I couldn't even sing I just cried!

	Be Thou Humble 1. Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee, Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers. Be thou humble in thy pleading, and the Lord thy God shall bless thee, Shall bless thee with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares. 2. Be thou humble in thy calling, and the Lord thy God shall teach thee To serve his children gladly with a pure and gentle love. Be thou humble in thy longing, and the Lord thy God shall take thee, Shall take thee home at last to ever dwell with him above.
	It really softened my heart, and knew The Lord knew me and what I was going through! The first talk was on gratitude, I really needed to hear it. I get so frustrated and lately have  been focusing on what I can't do instead of focusing on what I can do and where I Was a few months ago! Today I went for a little walk for about 20 minutes it was nice to get out and go where my legs could take me. So I'm going to write everyday the things I can do and try to eliminate negative thoughts. Have grateful thoughts. Have Positive action instead of passive complaining! Things I can do! 1. I can take care of my home slowly but I can do it. 2. Do my calling In YW even if some wed nights I'm to tired to make it. 3. I can work at the salon. My stomach has been doing a lot better. Monday I go to the doc to go over my latest Blood work. I need to talk to him about my energy level, and see if my thyroid and Hormones are on the low side. I'm trying to take it easy this week because I work And then go to Utah Saturday to motocross races. Going out of town is stressful Because of trying to find things to eat, packing food, sleep ect...I look forward to Hanging with the kids and seeing the Grandbaby!