Onward to 2018!

Oh my gosh, this blog! It's been forever! I hardly even remembered how to find it or log in. Justin recently told me, "You should start blogging again. I miss reading the posts and having documentation of different stages/joys/challenges in our life." I had no idea he even cared about my blog so knowing it means a lot to him, I decided to *try* to write the occasional post again. (Don't hold your breath waiting, though!) Facebook and Instagram have pretty much taken the place of blogging for me, but it is true that no Facebook post or Instagram picture can really tell a story like a good, old-fashioned (ha!) blog post.

I'm not even going to begin to document the things I've missed over the last two years, so I'll just pick up with where we currently are. I'm really looking forward to this new year, 2018. I'm ready for the fresh start and renewed hope it feels like a new year can bring.

2017 was a hard year, particularly the last few months. Justin's already busy travel schedule for work got even busier, which resulted in him being away from home a lot, almost 50% of the time. I lost a lifelong friend in September in a pretty traumatic way, which has resulted in lack of sleep, nightmares, and just overall fear for me. The combination of Justin being gone a lot and the grief that came from my friend's death has exposed some underlying anxiety I didn't even know I had. As a result in October I started seeing a therapist. It's been good, hard, enlightening, and challenging. I have learned things about myself that I had never realized and I have been given tools to help me deal with situations in my life that are hard for me. It's amazing what comes out when you are given an hour to just talk! As an external processor, the value of this time is unmatched. I'm pretty sure none of you want to listen to me blab hour after hour after hour so thank goodness for therapists. I know everyone says this, but you really should go if you haven't before. It's so valuable!

It feels really good to just get this out there, to be honest about where I am right now in a way you can't really do by posting a picture to Instagram. I personally place a high value on authenticity and have felt inauthetic at times, only posting our highlight reel. Don't get me wrong, we've had some beautiful and wonderful moments this year that have been worth documenting. But that isn't the full story.

The other night we went out to dinner with the kids and asked everyone to come up with a goal for 2018..not a resolution necessarily, but something you want to accomplish or work on or improve. It's not officially a goal unless it's out in the interwebs, so here you go, folks! Feel free to hold us accountable.

Justin: wants to learn 2 new songs on the piano this year
Annie: wants to train for and complete a full marathon
Claire: wants to take a new style of dance class
Emma: wants to learn to cook or bake 5 foods
Charlie: wants to learn to catch the baseball in his baseball glove  

I really am looking forward to working on these goals this year and feel hopeful about entering into a new year. I know, deep in my soul, that God can and will redeem all things, all pain, all people. I'm looking forward to seeing Him present in the redemptive work of these challenging and painful situations.

What are your goals/hopes/dreams for 2018, friends?! I'd love to hear from you.

Favorites

I'm a big fan of podcasts. I listen while I workout, while I clean, while I'm driving to preschool pickup, etc... One of my all time favorite ones is The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey. She is a worship pastor's wife in Austin, Texas. On her show, she invites a girlfriend on and they discuss everything.. from mothering to adoption to books to what shows their watching to decorating to marriage to food..everything! It's a great and easy listen.

 At the end of each episode she asks her guests, "What three things are you loving right now?" I love this part of the episode because I learn about new fun things.. recipes, makeup, books, good food, etc! My bestie, Bridget, recently came up with a list of her three favorite things and then asked me to come up with my list. I thought about it all day and here's what I came up with:

1. Apple pears. Do you know about these? I didn't even know about this fruit's existence until my friend Stephanie bought some over to share with us. They are delicious! They are big and crisp like an apple but oh-so-juicy and sweet like a pear. Do yourself a favor.. go to Costco and buy some. You will love them. We have been eating them like they're going out of style.

2. Friday Night Lights. Obviously we are pretty late to this party but oh my word.. I adore this show! We just finished up some pretty intense and heavy series (Blacklist and Making a Murderer) so we needed something a little less high stress. Several people have recommended this to me over the years so we finally started watching. I was hooked right away. It reminds me a Parenthood - you start to love the characters and they seem like real people to you. Love.it.

3. Friday night happy hours. I have a super smart friend who has started doing these recently and the idea has caught on. You invite a family to come over Friday late afternoon/evening. Dig around in your pantry and bring any snacks you have. The kids play and maybe come up from the basement for a couple of slices of frozen pizza, or chicken nuggets, or whatever someone found in their pantry to feed them. The adults sit on the couch with a glass of wine and some snacks and hang out, totally informally. No fancy meal, zero prep time, no awkward scenes getting everyone around the table. Totally low stress way to connect and celebrate surviving the week! Plus, you're home in time for the kids' bedtime and can still fit in a few episodes of Friday Night Lights. ;)

Okay, there you have it. The three things I'm currently loving! Bridget has a great list, too, so you need to share it with us!

Now you're turn...What three things are you loving right now??

Awareness & Obedience

I can't believe I'm both back to blog and that I've been gone for so long. I never thought I'd stop blogging but it's been a good 6 1/2 months since I've taken the time to write here. So goes life, I suppose. Life has left me physically and emotionally tired the last several months. There's been such a heavy cloud of grief surrounding some of my most loved ones who are close, both geographically and emotionally to me. I actually wrote about that exact topic about a year ago, before it went from bad to worse. Little did I know I would continue to watch friends suffer infertility, lose more babies, and then most heartbreaking of all, watch my cousin and his wife, my dear family and friends, lose their 3 year old to brain cancer in a matter of six months. I don't know if that's why I've stopped blogging or if I'm just too freaking tired at the end of each day to think real coherent thoughts and then actually record them. Regardless, tonight felt like the right time to reappear in the blogging world.

Tonight I'm celebrating survival. You see, we got our first placement though the Safe Families for Children program last Thursday night. Around 10 pm that night, I picked up a 14 month old girl who will be living with us for the next three months. I knew nothing about this child before bringing her into our home. I didn't know her temperament, her likes or dislikes, her routines, where she came from, what her life has been like, if she could crawl, walk, talk, eat solid food...nothing. All I knew was there was somewhat of an emergency situation and that this baby girl needed a home NOW.  So, we said yes. And tonight I'm celebrating that we've made it through our first five days and nights. I'm also celebrating that I made it through my first day and night solo with all four kids, since Justin is out of town ALL week for work. (Awesome timing, Lord! Thanks!)

Getting to where we are right now, with an extra kiddo in our care for some time, has been one small step of awareness and obedience after another. Years ago I heard a speaker from the Perspectives course share that the number one way to fight child trafficking in the US is to foster and adopt children out of foster care. That has stayed with me, in the back of my mind, for years. About a year after that, I first heard about Safe Families through my brother and sister-in-law. Another year or two after that, I met a few families in our area who are a part of the program. Several months after that, our church shared that they were holding an informational meeting about Safe Families. Justin and I looked at each other after reading that in the bulletin and both said, "Lets go. Just to check it out." So we went to the meeting. At the meeting, we heard about an upcoming training at our church. We decided to go to that, too. Just in case. We went to the training. As I heard the founder of the program explaining why he started it and the purpose of it (to keep kids out of the foster system and prevent abuse before it occurs), I couldn't hold back the tears. We heard story after story that day and my eyes were filled with tears over and over again. What seems so simple and easy for us has the opportunity to be life changing for another family. I stay home and raise children anyway... why can't we take in another for awhile? We have leftovers every night at dinner...why can't I feed just one more? We have a house with extra space... why can't we fit just one more? Yes, it's a sacrifice: four kids is harder than three. My children now have to share me. Yes, it's a risk: A new child changes family dynamics. My children could potentially learn unwanted behaviors. We have to spend our own money buying clothes, diapers, and meeting this child's needs. I'm not romanticizing or ignoring that. But to us, it's also so simple. Following Jesus requires sacrifice and risk. Doing what we already do - raise children, make meals, clean up meals, do laundry, offer love and protection - but still having the opportunity to make sacrifices seems like the right thing for our family, as we continue learning how to follow Jesus.

I can hardly talk about this without crying. It just feels so right. And that's an amazing gift to know you are right where you need to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.

So now I'm going to sit back with my glass of wine and celebrate that God wants to redeem families and keep them together and that we get to be the teeniest, tiniest part of that story.

This is an excellent 2 minute overview of the program by Dave Anderson, the founder. If you aren't familiar with it, please watch!

Last day for Em!

Happy last day of preschool, Emma!  

It's been so fun watching this girl grow and learn this year. She had such a great year with a super teacher and a sweet group of kids. Happy summer!  

13.1 done!

Today was half marathon day!! After months of hard work, it was awesome to cross the finish line. We dedicated our run to my cousin's son, Noah, who is battling brain cancer.  We raised $2,780 for their family. It was so much more meaningful to be thinking about and praying for them as I ran.. knowing that the struggle I was feeling as I ran is nothing compared to the battle the strongest 3 year old boy I know is fighting!

A huge thank you to all who donated, have been praying, and cheered us on today!!!! 

Home Homey Home

We've checked a few more little projects off the list.. woohoo!  A few weeks ago, I put an all call for help on Facebook... what color to paint our sunroom.  I asked every person who stepped foot into our home as well.  Our home is mostly greys and this green just wasn't cutting it for me.  The furniture would stay so we had to find something that would work. 

The two winning color suggestions were varying shades of yellow and blue.  We eliminated blue right away, since it wouldn't go well with the furniture.  I bought three samples of yellow that we painted up in smaller areas and guess what... I hated them all.  They just didn't work.. too blah, too bold, too bright.

And then I remembered I'm not usually a yellow paint kind of person.  So we nixed that idea.

We tried a gray/blue but it didn't look right with the furniture.

We considered everything from navy blue to white. We ended up going with Weimaraner by Benjamin Moore. The painter who we used to paint our kitchen cabinets suggested that to add an earthy feel to the room.  I wasn't 100% sold but after considering every other color under the sun, we decided to get a sample of it.  And we liked it, so we went for it.

Here's the finished product...

It definitely flows better with the rest of our house and is very soothing!  We are happy with it. I love how it changes with the light throughout the day, sometimes looking more brown and sometimes more grey.

We also finished up some work in the kitchen!  This is the second time in our marriage we have hired someone to do a project in our house for us... we are usually all about the D.I.Y.  But between cabinet doors and drawers, we have 42. And ain't nobody got time for sanding, priming, and painting all of that. So, we sucked it up and hired a painter.  Best money ever spent!  Done in a few days and way better than we could have done.

I saved some pictures of our kitchen from the listing when we bought our house and I'm so glad I did.. the kitchen is hardly recognizable.  I am loving the brighter, less GREEN and oak-ey space.

Before (check out that peek into the dining room too...)

After.. yay!

Making this house a home has been so fun... it feels more like us now that these two projects are done.  Maybe a break for awhile now?  Maybe..

Friday Faves

Here's an ode to all my current faves...

Nalgene sippy cups for my kids

Are you a sippy cup hater like me?  I have tried every.single.cup on the market, looking for one that doesn't leak. This is the only one I've found - the Naglene Grip and Gulp. My kids each have one and really, they don't leak! Plus, it's 12 oz so it holds a lot more than your traditional sippy, which means you don't have to fill it up as often. Holla!

Aldi's Gyro Kit

Aldi's Gyro Kit

If you know anything about me, you know I'm a huge Aldi shopper. I don't care how you justify or do the math, you simply can't beat their prices. The quality is also great and backed by the double guarantee.  If that's not enough, knowing they are owned by the same company as Trader Joes should get you in their doors. And the prices will turn you into a loyal fan. Promise. Anyway, I recently discovered their Gyro Kit. Holy smokes, this is delicious! It takes about 5 minutes to make, costs $6.99, and left our family stuffed. Try it... you won't be disappointed. 

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

Just finished this book by Liane Moriarty. It was a page turner! I couldn't put it down. Everything I've tried to read since just hasn't been able to keep me engaged the way this book did. Really, really good.

Benjamin Moore's revere pewter

I painted our family room this color last week. It's such a great neutral. It changes slightly depending on the lighting, sometimes looking more grey and sometimes more tan.  A very warm, soothing color.

Crazy Joy - my friend Katie's  blog

This girl is one of my absolute faves and she's recently revamped her already fabulous blog. She has a gift for writing - she's funny, she's real, has the best tips, and is just generally awesome.  Plus, she loves Jesus.  This post was one of my recent favorites. And this one... it's a few years old but such a great, hilarious story.  You have to read it.. I promise you will laugh. You can read the rest of her stuff here. 

There you have it, folks! A few of my favorites that are too good not to share.  xoxo

What are some things you are currently loving?  

Haircut for Char

Char's first haircut was last weekend. Oh, so cute, but oh so sad to see those curls go. Truth be told, we were starting to see glimpses of mullet so it was time!

Before...

..and after! Such a big boy!

That sucker was the perfect distraction!  He was happy to be sitting on mama's lap and stayed mostly still. He is looking (and acting!) like such a big boy these days.  I can hardly stand it.  

RSV strikes again

I'm desperately trying to stay on top of my blogging... mostly because my memory is horrible and I love being able to look back in the archives and be reminded of the things I should remember. But life with three littles is crazy so I don't get to write as often as I used to. Still, I just can't fly the white flag yet. This blog is not dead! The reality is - most of my life is documented on Instagram these days (annieshoe on Instagram). But I'm just not ready to say goodbye to this sacred space yet. So, I'm going to try to keep it alive.

Anyway, we've had an eventful couple of weeks around these parts. All three kiddos had colds for several days and then last Monday (the 9th), Claire woke up complaining of ear pain.  I decided to take all three kiddos to the doctor because everyone was miserable. Claire was rocking herself back and forth and crying the entire time we were waiting, so I knew she must be in a lot of pain. The doctor said Claire had a terrible ear infection.  She said Claire's eardrum was about as red and swollen as they come and not to be surprised if it bursts.  She prescribed an antibiotic and checked out Emma and Charlie.  She determined they both just had colds and sent us on our way.  Fast forward a few hours and guess what happened?  Claire's ear drum burst!  She woke up from a nap and had blood and puss all over her ear. Poor baby!  Although it actually relieved the pain from the infection.

The week went on and Claire got better, Emma stayed about the same, and Charlie continued to get worse.  Three days later, on Thursday, I decided to take Charlie in for a recheck.  He was on day #4 of a fever, wasn't eating or playing, and had been sleeping more than I felt comfortable with.  He took a 5 1/2 hour nap on Thursday and that just didn't seem right.  I took him in, thinking they would tell me he had an ear infection.  Instead, the doctor said he was wheezing and his oxygen stats were low (93).  They gave him breathing treatment and rechecked the oxygen.  This time it was at 87. The doctor told me I would need to take him to the ER. It was a little unsettling to have your doctor say they couldn't help him and he would need to go to the emergency room! My neighbor met me at the ER and picked up Claire and Emma.

We were met at the entrance to the ER by a team of people who whisked us into a room right away.  They immediately started working on Charlie - hooked him up to the oxygen, put in an iv, started breathing treatments, gave him fluids, and did a chest x-ray. I couldn't believe how quickly they got to work!

It wasn't long before they determined he had RSV and pneumonia and would need to be admitted.  Although the ER experience was much better this time around, I instantly had flashbacks to when Emma had the same thing!

Charlie ended up needing to stay 4 nights in the hospital. They had a hard time weaning him off of the oxygen but by day #4, he was back to his old self and ready to go home!

Justin and I took turns staying the night at the hospital and the girls got to come and visit!  We were there from the 12th to the 16th.  I think Charlie's thing for hospitals on holidays should stop now. ;)

Valentine's Day visit from the big sisters!

Family and friends stepped up to help with the girls. People brought food. People had food delivered from states away. Flowers and gifts were sent. We are so thankful! It's so awesome to see how God uses people to fill in the gaps and serve in different ways when we are in need.

Finally ready to go home!

Here's to hoping spring is right around the corner and we all stay healthy for awhile!

Valentine Fun

Although we spent Valentine's Day in the hospital with a sick little Char Char, we still managed to have some fun celebrating.  The weekend before Valentine's Day, Justin took the girls to a local Daddy/Daughter dance.  They met some neighbors for dinner beforehand and then hit the big par-tay.

Justin is always so thoughtful, even in the midst of craziness.  This was welcoming me home from the hospital on one of my breaks from staying with Charlie.

I took the girls to get donuts on Saturday morning and had a few little gifts for them, too.

Thankful we get to love these sweet kiddos...Valentine's Day or not!