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maybe it's just like what tham2 said. i have forgotten how it is like to live dangerously. to take risks. to embrace a different culture. sometimes without much thought. but most times with some thinking done with regards to safety.
so i should just stop being paranoid and look forward to my USA trip. i will be safe and take calculated risks when necessary. it's not often that your boss allow you to take 3 weeks leave for holiday. and when the need arises or when i am just too tired and want a break. i shall just join one of the domestic tours. now this sounds more like a plan. don't you think so? =) time to get my air tickets. and learn how to operate my camera! i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 9:58 pm
and there goes my nepal trekking trip.
my parents put down their feet and firmly said no to me traveling alone in nepal for 2 weeks. i find it so sad that despite having quite alot of friends, none is able/willing to travel with me. and going alone apparently is not an option. going on a trip is unbelievably difficult. what a joke. i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 10:01 pm
4.45am.
5.43am train from woodlands to nicoll highway. 7am flag off. 10 000 runners. 10km. 3 water points. 1 hour 18 mins (not excluding that few mins we took to finally reach the starting point) blisters plus blue-black toenails. and that concludes my virgin run in 23 years of age. i have never ran so long and sweat so much in my life. hahahahaz. the last 2km was the most difficult to overcome. i think i wouldnt be able to walk properly for the next few days. and... my dear ah keow went to shave her head at the hair for hope event for cancer children. maybe one day i should do it too. while i continue to contemplate the idea, lets applaud ah keow for her courage and her determination to stick to her decisions. love you ah keow! 25th july 2010 will always be a memorable day for the 2 of us. we will continue to grow together! i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 8:05 pm
dependency.
what a scary word. at least to me. i always felt that being dependent on someone is exposing your vulnerabilities, insecurities, weaknesses to him/her and this person armed with this knowledge will one day turn against you or take advantage of you. i always think that it is possible to attain independence in a relationship. we should never lose ourselves in a relationship in such a way that we become one with the other party. when want becomes a need. it is dependency. and that means you have fallen deep into something and you will never be the same again no matter what is the outcome. i dont like that. but reading this blog: http://www.dad-isms.com/ especially the post on independence in a marriage. i realised that dependency is a conscious choice. a choice or perhaps better known as a calculated/un-calculated gamble to be yourself at least once in your life. without any pretense/defense/mask. i always know that i can depend on you. but i never know whether you will choose to depend on me. one day i will know the answer. and one day definitely. i will find the one whom i can truly depend on for the rest of my life. i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 11:03 pm
2 birthdae cake (slices) today.
i didnt get to make a wish though. hahaha. can i make up for it? i am a greedy girl with lotsa wishes this year... had a conversation with 5 colleagues... out of 5, 4 are married and the last one is attached. it's rather amusing how they perceive singles like me. maybe i am really too picky. hahahahaz. so... what should i do on thursday ah? go shopping? spring clean? or?? and i tink it's more or less cast in stone that i will be traveling alone if... i insist on going overseas in oct. hmmmx. let me think about it somemore... time to start studying for mcat le. hahahax. need to secretly print the notes... and check up how much it costs to study in china...maybe? i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 11:05 pm
planning a holiday and finding suitable travel mate(s) prove to be so much more difficult.
from shanghai to london...now maybe it will be spain. london and scotland all at one go. from 3 people to 1 person. it's back to square one. i miss exchange days when it's so easy to just decide on a place and people will jump on board. maybe it's time to learn to like solitude. i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 10:46 pm
sometimes it's the little things that matter the most...
such as helping you hold stuff making you laugh no matter how blue you feel being kind and nice to everyone around you i am glad i met you and that you are my friend and colleague. because of you, i believe that one day i will find someone like you because you teach me that i deserve more. i believe in miracles becoz i would be much happier if i do @ 9:17 pm
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+__ d r e a m e r __+ +__ w i s h e s __+ +__ m a t e r i a l d e s i r e s__+ +__ d r e a m t r i p s__+ +__ s n a p s h o t s__+ +__ p a t h w a y s __+ +__ h i s t o r y __+ +__ c r e d i t s __+ __________________
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