i hope everything is fine and u will get better soon. i hope u know that u r always on my mind. please...

directionless

Dont u feel directionless once u've done something? kinda what i am feeling now. even after done with the exams, report to correct and hand in. =\ amazing.

Lately i've seen many terrible driving on the roads. mine included. haha. amazing that they are still alive. lol.

Few more days or weeks, will be home to rot. wont be seeing the usual guys anymore. no more weird jokes. just pure boredom.

i'll occupy myself with my games and growing my belly to the size of a hippo. lol. guess there's nth much to do... =\

4 days, 7 weeks

4 days coming fast, 7 weeks even faster.

11 days

11 days to go. and about 1 and a half months. btw... why must we use gas engines, carburetor is annoying. and 7 years.

apologies

thanks for saying all that to me the other day and all that in the post. truly touched and i'll remember it for the rest of my life. i hope you know that. really appreciate it. hope you know its nth about what u did to me. its just something random. sorry. i'll delete it immediately.

i am sorry. its just a song i heard out of the blue. i know its a very sensitive issue to you especially because of me. i hope you will understand that its not you. i just a lil down, more than usual, tired of doing all of this and afraid that i couldnt achieve what i want. and having people stepping on you when u r down is not helping with this.

afraid is the better word, i am afraid u r mad at me. i dont blame u. its my fault for being selfish and inconsiderate. i should know better than that. i'll have to learn to be much more considerate. hope you will forgive me... and i know i say sorry a lot but i do mean it every time. never hesitating to say it. =)

sorry to hear all that. hope u will get past all that and more. maybe i could help u with it.

thank you for all that. i'll nvr forget what u said to me. you're the first to say all of this to me. for that, i am really grateful. thanks. =) i'll talk to u tomorrow. i'll be back on my feet and on my best behavior. =). oh ya. thanks and good luck to u too. u know i'll nvr fail to say that to you all the time. even though sometimes i didnt said it out loud.

AJ Rafael - We Could Happen

I like the songs beat... =)
I'll hold the door
please come in and just sit here for a while
this is my way of telling you
I need you in my life
It's so cold without your touch
I've been dreaming way too much
can we just turn this into reality

[Chorus]
Cuz I've been thinking 'bout you lately
maybe you can save me
from this crazy world we live in
I know we could happen cuz you know
that I've been feeling you

Storms they will come but I know
that the sun will shine again
he's my friend and he says
that we belong together
and I'll sing a song to break the ice
just a smile from you would suffice
it's not me being nice, girl this is real tonight

[Chorus]
Cuz I've been thinking 'bout you lately
maybe you can save me
from this crazy world we live in
I know we could happen cuz you know
that I've been feeling you

I know you want me

There's no other, there's no other love
that I'd rather have, no
There ain't no one, there ain't no one else
I want you for myself

[Chorus]
Cuz I've been thinking 'bout you lately
maybe you can save me
from this crazy world we live in
I know we could happen cuz you know
that I've been feeling you

I know you want me

Cuz I've been thinking 'bout you lately
maybe you can save me
from this crazy world we live in
I know we could happen cuz you know
that I've been feeling you

I know you want me, too
I know you want me, too

stuffs

lately soo much things going on. i wonder if i could survive this. deadline getting closer and its piling on more than i could finish. i know i can do it... just that been doubting myself much lately. slowly reverting back to my bad habits. need to keep it all together. and i need to keep my temper in check. with so much happening, i find myself getting less sleep, headaches, and a very bad temper. i wish all of this could end now.

there's things that are running constantly in my mind. gotta decide when to tell the folks bout what i wanna do. headache... and my fyp isnt helping much. coz its making me lazier....... hahahahaha

on a side note, i still couldnt find my leather shoes. need it for my presentation and stuff. swt.... looks like i'll need to get a new one. a new slippers(just incase my current one breaks aoas), bag and shirt. (bag is optional)

lately the news is flooded with news on the nuke reactor in japan. so sorry for the what happened to the japs. great group of people. hopefully they'll pull it thru. the japs always do. i wonder if the gov will still go ahead with their plans to do the nuke plants. its not that it is a bad thing. its just that i dont think it is necessary. aren't there many other alternatives which are better? real,clean renewable energy sources like hydro, wind and solar?

in my personal opinion, i think that it would be best to keep the nuke option as last resort and use alternative options which are more beneficial in the long run. we have lots of rain and sunshine all year round. maybe we could do something with that? well its just my opinion. hopefully they wont just go ahead with it without thinking bout other options.

btw, i am going crazy, temperamental, and possibly dangerous. time to get my ass into a mental institution. free food! hahahaha wait.. prison serves free food too. hmmmmm tough choice. mental institution... atleast u wont get ass raped, but u will be treated like a nut job(well, u r in a mental institution). hahaha temper need to be kept in check. can i screw a check valve into my head? hahaha.

it feels nice to be able to write down whats in my mind. helps me clear up some space. now, back to work. =)

Chris Medina's What Are Words

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

* i think this says it all. =)

Apologies

Sorry, shouldn't have asked so much. I know it's annoying but its just that I am worried for u. Thats all. Please don't say that... I am really sorry. You have the right to be mad at me. But please know that I worry too much for u. I care too much to for u coz u mean a lot to me =)

Faith

Sometimes, in many things we do or hope to achieve... a little faith goes a long way in helping to get there. It doesn't matter what u r doing or what do u wanna get, hard work can only do soo much unless u have faith. i might not know what goes on in there exactly but what i do know is... if we have faith and work for it, anything could happen... anything is achievable no matter how difficult it might be. This goes to everything that u do.

I know i have certain character defects which sometimes is useful and at times, annoying. i am learning to adjust to be a better person. my biggest weakness is my temper. i find that my temper gets worse with a lil age. hopefully it will dies down fast as it should with age. i wonder why is it difficult to control my temper lately.

It's weird. I am just hoping that u know how much u mean to me. and i kinda gotta the feeling that i am guess it correctly. i know u feel that u might get hurt. trust me, we can work this out together. it just take a lil faith. =) something u kept telling me before, go with the flow. so far, i am taking ur advices all with hope and faith. i know u r avoiding urself from saying that lately. =). its ok. i couldnt and wouldnt make u.

Sometimes, good things do happen to people. It might even be ridiculously good that it seems unreal. But it is happening, therefore its real. I find myself thinking sooo much with my thoughts getting sooo messed up that i couldn't think straight. Please... lets just go with the flow. Let's see where it will take us. Its something i am willing to do... just for u

Sometimes

Sometimes i wonder if what i did was worth the while, maybe i should have taken the bigger risk. if only i knew this place is just a big pile of headaches.

Something

Something is bothering me a lot lately but I have been trying to control myself to not think. Everytime I do.. My temper goes 100% and I will be crazy enough to hit anyone and do things I know I shouldnt. Seriously, either I get help... just jump off the balcony.

one step at a time

=) i know some would know how mean i could be at times but not many knows how good i can be when i need to be. sometimes, both of this qualities are not present and are replaced with a cold, hard rock. its difficult to stop this but its something i am trying to control. temper has been very much under control of lately and trying really really hard to reduce myself from cursing.

i know its not the bad kinda ones but i just worry for what it could mean. the things i told were something i would never tell a living soul unless i am sure it wouldn't leave the boundary. i know sometimes i could be a lil pushy but i am trying my best to not be. always allowing the greater good side of me to appeal to u. i know its something very sensitive to you as the way u reply shows. it also shows that u know what i would think when u say those to me. i am glad to have told u what i need to tell. its something i just need to say just in case anything happens to me. life is unpredictable. i wonder one thing tho.. i wonder if what i told u made u think that way... i am serious when i told u what i am going to do. its just a matter of time. look at the bright side of stuff and always hope and pray for the best and we'll see what happens next.

so far, the way things are going... things look good and i would like to keep it that way for now. i know... i know... u've been telling me that soo many times and i've lost count. go with the flow... i always have that in my mind, keeping me sane and my foot on the ground. we still have time. lets see where it will take us and just enjoy the ride. =)

PS: people who are reading my blog... errrrr... u guys think too much.. hahahaha this is creative writing.. hahahaha

sometimes

why do i still get the feeling like stomach just flipped and vomited on the insides and blood temperature goes up a lil every time i read it. i should also have learned to control my temper better now. sorry but there's just things... i guess i'll just have to learn to be a lil colder than a piece of rock.