Evelyn's Birth Story

Evelyn Brenda Banner

Contractions started the morning of my due date (11-25) at 3am and were 10 minutes apart. At 9am they were 6 minutes apart so I called my doctors office, they told me to come in and get checked. I was almost a 4 and 75% effaced so my doctor told me baby probably wasn't coming today and had me schedule an appointment for the next morning. Contractions continued ranging from 6-15 minutes all day. I was able to nap with Liam for a couple hours which was wonderful. Martin, Liam and I went for a long walk to keep things going/speed things up. Then Martin wanted to go to Sizzler since that is where we went to eat the day before Liam's due date and where my water broke. My mom watched Liam while we went to eat. Contractions were about every 5-6 minutes. After dinner we walked around the mall, before going back to mom's house. 

7:00pm-Jason and Seth met us at moms house to give me a blessing. It was beautiful, and exactly what I needed to hear. After that we talked for a bit then went home. We decided that even though the doc said she wasn't coming that night, that Martin would go get Makayla so we could have her spend the night so that she could stay with Liam 'just in case'.

9:30pm- I got in the bath to see if it would help ease some pain. It made the pain worse for me, I just wanted to move. Being in the water slowed contractions a little. Makayla was going to put Liam to sleep, but I felt I needed to spend that time with him, so I cuddled him until he fell asleep. It was really hard to lay still with the contractions coming every 5 minutes but I'm glad I did it. He finally fell asleep at just before midnight. When I came out of the bedroom contractions picked up fast and were right on top of each other. I woke Martin up and told him we needed to get to the hospital fast! I couldn't find a coat so the walk down to the car I had about 5 contractions and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably. I called mom and Gayla and told them I would go get checked out, just in case this wasn't it, and I would call them back. I called my doula and she said she would meet us there. 

12:10am We got to the hospital and had to check in at the ER since it was after hours. Contractions were two minutes apart. The admitting lady was really good. She got us in fast and wheeled me up to labor and delivery. She was making jokes and giving Martin a hard time. My doula showed up just before they took us up. I was so glad she was there! They got me right into a room and I got changed. They hooked me up to the monitors as they needed 20 minutes of checking on the baby and then they would take me off. They checked me and I told them if I was still at a 4 they had to lie to me. No need, I was at a 7 with a bulging bag of waters. They said once my water broke I would go fast! I was so happy! I called mom and Gayla and said to get there quick! They wanted to put a hep-lock in so they could have quick access in case I needed an iv. They tried in my right arm but couldn't get it. So they tried in my left hand. This was so frustrating to me. My contractions were painful and 2 minutes apart. Martin and Jenni were really great. Since I had to be sitting in the bed, they would push down on my shoulders with every contraction. I started to hum/moan and Jenni would hum with me and remind me to keep it low. It helped so much. As they were getting my hep lock in my hand, we heard a loud pop, and my water broke. Things from this point on got a little hazy for me and I can't remember details. I remember wanting to push and asking where Gayla and mom were, and they walked in the door right then, followed by my doctor a minute or so later. The urge to push was insane! For the past 22 hours I had handled the contractions quite well just breathing through them, but lost it during pushing. I was yelling and screaming. Saying I didn't want to do it anymore. I remember saying that to my doctor and he motioned to Martin and said it's ok he'll take over. 

1:20-

She was out in 2 contractions and 3 pushes. All 8lbs 13oz of her. And no tearing at all. They placed her on my belly. I can't remember what I said first, but I said hello and thanked her for coming fast. I couldn't have kept up pushing for very long. And I said  "I did it!" It was amazing, and empowering. I scared everyone with my screaming, and they all can't believe that IF we have another one, I would go natural again. My mom didn't know we were giving Evelyn her middle name so it was a special moment when I turned to her and told her. 

Breastfeeding

I started compiling a list of the random places I fed Liam. This isn't a complete list, I'm sure.

Places I've Breastfed

Demolition derby
Chili's
Golden Corral
Javier's
Kohl's parking lot
McDonald's PL
Trax
Frontrunner
Big Latch On
Work
Church
JoAnn's
JC Penney's
Walking home from Mom's
In the Moby
In the Ergo
In the Ergo while grocery shopping
Target
Walmart
In the shower/bath
Bridal shower
Sizzler
Mall food court
Dressing room
Park bench
Forgotten Carols
Time out for Women
Anywhere and everywhere

I've been thinking about writing this post for a long time. I'm hesitant because it's something very personal, and can be a bit of a hot topic sometimes. Breastfeeding has not been easy. My milk didn't come in until around day 8. Liam slept 7 hours on day 5 I couldn't get him to wake up at all. We almost ended up in the ER because I was so worried. I'm so thankful for my aunt Ruth and cousin Sandy for being there to answer my questions and give me the encouragement to keep going. We used a nipple shield because of the horrendous pain for almost 8 weeks. While I do think it affected my supply, it kept us going. I didn't really have to wean him off of the shield, when we started co-sleeping it became more of a nuisance. Liam knocked the shield off one day, latched, and that was the end of it. The pain was completely gone by 3 months. The pain made it REALLY hard to enjoy breastfeeding at first. I kept telling my family I wanted to start an anti-breastfeeding campaign called "breastfeeding sucks!" if I wouldn't have been so stubborn with wanting to stick with it no matter what, I wouldn't have made it past those first two weeks.

I went back to work in July and struggled to figure out pumping. I was pumping about 5 times a day. Once first thing in the morning (while feeding Liam on the other side,) 3 times at work, and once when I got home. There were some weeks I struggled with producing enough, but we eventually figured things out.

Also in July I found the LLL website and saw information about "The Big Latch-on" in August and knew I wanted to go. It was an event in correlation with Worldwide Breastfeeding Week where breastfeeding moms all over the world gathered at 10:00am in their time zone to nurse their babies for one minute to aim for the world record. I had Martin go with us because I was too scared to go alone and we took Frontrunner down to Salt Lake then Trax to the SLC library with Liam content in the Moby. While getting off trax there was another babywearing mom that got off with us, we both kind of nodded knowingly and she said I can guess where you're going. (She is now my really good friend). There were so many babywearing moms there that were breastfeeding too. It felt like I had found 'my people' Which made me seek out LLL. I went to my first meeting also in August and these were my type of people too! It feels so very isolating being a new mom especially if you do things that aren't 'the norm' so it was so liberating to find other people like me. Breastfeeding, cosleeping, anti-cry-it-out, babywearing, gentle parenting mamas who had all gone through what I was going through. They were so encouraging and knew just what to say to keep me going.

As Liam got older pumping was easier because he wasn't needing as much, and was eating other foods. I started to build a freezer stash and ended up donating over 300 ounces of milk to other babies. I was able to gradually decrease the times a day I was pumping down to once in the morning and once at work. My last day of work I was feeling a little sappy and I wrote a letter to my breastpump.

Dear Breastpump,
Thank you for helping me provide milk for my baby since I've been back to work for 13 months. I have loved knowing that even though I couldn't be with my baby, I was giving him my very best, and for that I am grateful. However I am thrilled to be done with you. Starting Monday I will officially be a stay at home mom and no longer need your help to give my baby the best.
Sincerely,
Me

In the beginning, I worried so much about my supply and had a hard time dealing with the pain, but I think what finally helped things fall into place was when I was able to let go of all the doubt and worry, and trust my body that it knew what it was doing if I listened to my baby and let him tell me what he needed.

Liam is 23 months old now and we are still breastfeeding. Mostly just upon going to sleep and waking including nap time, but if he asks I don't refuse. In the beginning I never knew if we would make it to the next month so I never thought we would make it this far. I don't really have plans to make him stop. I'd like to let things continue to take their course and let him decide when he is ready, although breastfeeding a 3 year old seems a little foreign to me, (then again so did breastfeeding a 2 year old when we started and now here we are.)

Breastfeeding is so much more to me then just a feeding method. It's a parenting philosophy, and how I choose to mother my child. It is the answer to every bump and unease, it is a way to reconnect and feel grounded. I'm thankful for those who have helped be a support along the way. Especially Martin. He's been there every step of the way helping me along. Supporting me and Liam knowing that this is what's best for Liam even if it's occasionally hard on all of us.

I've never had much "stick-with-it-ivity" throughout my life. Always moving from one thing to the next, not very often finishing things, but breastfeeding is one thing that I consider one of my finest accomplishments that I am proud of because it is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Birth Story

I typed his birth story on my phone in those early weeks when I was awake all the time anyway. I didn't want to forget. So here it is mostly unedited.

Liam Peter Banner

I had a doctors appointment Wednesday April 13. It was very disappointing because I was still only about 2cm dialated and 60% effaced which is about what I had been at the previous 3 weeks. I went back to work and cried and felt sorry for myself because I thought I would never have this baby. Resigned to the fact I would be working the next day, my due date, Martin picked me up from work about 4:20. We drove towards home and decided to go to dinner at Sizzler.

Before our food came Gayla called so I talked to her until 5:10 crying saying how I was worried the baby wouldn't come on his own. Our food came. Martin was really sweet reassuring me to relax that baby would come on his own or we could call and set up a day for the doctor to start me.

We finished eating and were about to leave I felt a little gush. Thinking it might be a mucus plug or something I told Martin I needed to use the bathroom before we left. I stood up and felt more gushing. It took me a minute to realize that my water really had broken. I turned to Martin and said "we need to go RIGHT NOW." By the time we got to the car I was dripping on the ground.

Martin called Gayla and I called Mom. I had wanted to go home and get cleaned up before going to the hospital but both Mom and Gayla said I should get to the hospital right away. We called Sara and BriAnn before we got to the hospital to let them know.

We walked in the main entrance and told the person my water broke and asked where we should go. 2nd floor, labor and delivery. Still gushing everywhere. We finally find labor and delivery. They find us a room and tell Martin he needs to go down to the ER to get me admitted, while I get in the hospital gown. Luckily mom showed up I was in the bathroom sitting on the toilet because I was still gushing. They asked me to give a urine sample but it was all water. Mom helped get my clothes in bags and get me onto the bed.

Martin came back from getting me admitted and Gayla got there shortly after that. Sara came also and had Allie with her for a bit, then Jason and Nathan came and picked her up. Brandon stopped by and later Seth and BriAnn did too.

I got hooked up on the machine that measures my contraction and one that checked the baby's heart rate. I was having regular contractions about 2-4 minutes apart but couldn't feel them at all. My first nurse came and checked me I was still about a two and 50%. She talked to the doctor and he wanted to start me on pitocin right away. I wanted to at least try and go natural so she said she would give me an hour to walk and she would check me again. I walked with Martin then Gayla for about an hour before I started getting tired. I hadn't slept well at all the night before and was emotionally drained as well. I knew that I needed to save energy to push so when The nurse came back like 3 hours later and I hadn't progressed hardly at all I agreed to start pitocin. That was about 10:30. I made it to midnight before asking for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was really great very funny, thorough and reassuring. The numbing needle hurt the worst. When he put the tube in he said I might feel some popping sensations. Those were weird and made me jump oops suppose to hold still. I felt much better after the epi.

I think I tried sleeping at this point. Started to feel nauseous, threw up steak and Malibu chicken. No good. I think it might be a while before we can go back there. My epi started to wear off on the right side. They tried shifting me to try to get it to even out, I tried pushing the button for more meds eventually I could feel everything again and I was in pain! They had checked me I was at 8cm and having very strong contractions one right after another. It felt like it took forever for the anesthesiologist to get back. This time he did an epidural and a spinal block. It took effect pretty quickly and right away I didn't feel quite right. I could barely sit up and was really out of it. I started to feel really nauseous again and started throwing up. My blood pressure dropped from 144/something to 69/55. I guess the nurse ran and got the anesthesiologist and he ran in and added something to my iv and squeezed my iv bag to get fluids in me. When I basically came to again everyone looked a little panicked. The spinal was great though I couldn't feel a thing.

I tried getting some sleep. Everyone was so tired I kept apologizing to them and they kept telling me not to. I finally drifted off to sleep and the nurse came and checked me. It was baby time!! We all got excited as we waited for the doctor to get there. I remember saying "ok no more drama and excitement I'm just going to push this baby out and everything is going to be great." I started pushing at 7:00. I was completely numb, couldn't feel the contractions at all. It was the weirdest thing when they put my leg up in the stirups because I was so numb I could see my leg there but it didn't feel like my leg. I did have a lot of back pain that I think corresponded to the contractions but couldn't really tell. The nurse was on one side of me and Martin was on the other the doctor was watching the monitor and when I would get a contraction they would pull my legs up and I would curl my chin to my chest and push. It was weird because I couldn't feel to push anywhere I just tightened up my belly and it seemed to work. After every contraction everyone would say good job and I would ask Martin if I was making progress. He said a couple times not to ask him but ask the doctor. Martin was really cute he said he could see the head and I was almost there he didn't realize how big the head was and I still had a ways to go. I was so exhausted after every set of pushes I would lay back close my eyes zone out and try to catch my breath.

Finally at 7:37 he was born. He had the cord wrapped around his neck once. Through this whole pregnancy it has never seemed real that I was actually becoming a parent, when they told me to look down and I saw them put him on my stomach it hit me like a ton of bricks. To touch this slimy little body and for him to finally be real was incredible. I sobbed and sobbed saying oh, oh hi baby over and over again. It was an incredible moment.

Martin went with the baby over to the warmer Gayla and Sara followed taking pictures. Mom stayed and held my hand while I delivered the placenta they had turned the epidural off when I started pushing so it was just now wearing off so this hurt worse than delivering the baby. I only had a small tear 2 stitches I think.

Martin and I had been debating names the whole pregnancy we couldn't decide between Aaron and Liam but once he was born Martin said so Liam Peter then and there was no question.

Liam Peter Banner born April 14, 2011 at 7:37am. 7 pounds 14 ounces 21 inches long. The seventh grandchild that took seven years from the last one. Born in our seventh year of marriage.

After Liam was born they let me breastfeed right away. Then Martin took him to have a bath, Gayla went with to take pictures. Mom and Ruth went to watch Martin give the baby a bath. Sara had to go to work. Seth was off that day we called him after the baby was born and he came up to the hospital he stayed with me. Then they wheeled me over to recovery. On the way we passed the nursery so we stopped and I got to see Martin bathing Liam.

The rest of the hospital stay was fairly uneventful. I had visitors coming and going all the first day and not very many on the second day because everyone was back at work. I enjoyed the "room service" meals. I liked all of my nurses. I had different ones every shift. I think i only had the same nurse twice. I did have a couple breakdowns. Mostly about breastfeeding. But on the second day mom came for lunch so mom Martin and Ruth went to the cafeteria leaving me with the baby. He started crying and I couldn't get him to stop. So by the time Ruth and Martin got back. (mom had to go back to work) they found two crying babies. Of course Liam calmed right down for them.

That's all I had written on my phone. I wish I had more because it's hard to remember all the little things six months out.

I had Liam Thursday morning and we went home Saturday afternoon. It was a little intimidating taking this little tiny baby home and knowing you are responsible for it. The whole way home Martin was talking about cleaning the house, making a list of things he would do that day. We walked into our house and everything was spotless!! Mom, Sara and Allie had cleaned the whole house. Even taking all of our laundry and blankets to a laundry mat and washing and folding everything. It was amazing! We were both almost in tears it was such a weight off our shoulders. When Sara brought Abbi home we found out they had also taken her to the groomer for a bath and deshedding treatment.

Seth and BriAnn brought us food one of those first nights and Gayla, Brandon and family brought dinner another night. That was one thing I struggled with a lot. I couldn't feed myself and the baby, so I was so grateful for them bringing us meals.

Monika came from England for two weeks when Liam was 10 days old. It was so great having her with us. She was such a great help to us. We were very sad when she left.

Martin has been so great through everything. He was so great when I was in labor making me laugh and being so supportive. He always gets me food or drinks when I'm stuck to the couch feeding Liam. He helps put Liam to sleep when I've had enough. He is just an awesome dad and husband. I love him so much!

I Am Back!

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've blogged about finding out we were having our sweet baby boy. So much has happened that it's hard to know where to start. Thanks to the new blogger app, and a collage app on my phone I might be able to get caught up.

The rest of my pregnancy went ok. My favorite part of course was feeling the baby move. The last weeks were the hardest. Everyone who I knew that was pregnant around the same time as me all had there babies a week or more early so April 1st I was ready to be done, but Little Mister came right on his due date. I'll do a separate blog post about the birth story but here are a couple collages of my belly pictures.

It's a...

We had our gender ultrasound on November 9th, and it's a BOY!! I'm very excited. Martin was able to be there with me and I was so glad. When they were getting me ready to do the ultrasound Martin was asking what the chances were to be able to find out for sure, and how accurate it was, and once they got the picture on the screen it took less than 30 seconds to tell what it was and they said something like ''Well this one is easy with the flagpole out there." I had a feeling all along that it was a boy. Martin was hoping for a girl, but didn't care either way.

Almost everyone I know that's pregnant right now (about 10 people) are almost all having girls except maybe two or three. Being a mom to a boy scares me less than being a mom to a girl. I've never been good at the girly stuff anyway. I hope to eventually have a girl too, but for our first I'm so glad it's a boy. Now we just have to think of names. We thought we had the name picked out for sure, but after finding out it really was a boy, it made it more real to us so we started second guessing the name. We have it down to two, and I go back and forth all the time between them. We'll see when he gets here which one fits him better. Here are a few of the good pictures from the ultrasound.

I have my 20 week ultrasound on Monday where they do all the measurements and everything so I'll have more pictures after that appointment.

The week we found out was quite the crazy week. I went from being on top of the world to very very sad. My Grandma Mills passed away on November 12th. It's been almost nine years since my Grandpa Mills passed away and she has missed him so much, and longed to be with him again, so it really was a blessing she was able to go.She hadn't been doing well the past few months. On the 10th the hospice nurse said she was 'actively dying' and only had 2-3 days left. All of my family went over that night to say good-bye. I'm glad we all got to say our good-byes, but it was very hard to see her that way. I got the call Friday at work from my mom that Grandma had passed. So I immediately left work. I didn't really know what else to do so I went to Mom's to be with her. I got there and My Mom, Aunt Ruth, Uncle John and Seth were all in Grandma's room kneeling in prayer. I'm so glad I was able to make it there and hear that prayer. It really did bring comfort.

Gayla left work around the same time I did and was on her way out to Mom's and Jason and Sara got there shortly after that. I love my family so much. After I got the call, and left work, I felt so completely helpless, I didn't know what I should do. I love that all four of us kids our instinct was to gather. We don't know what else to do than to be together to comfort and draw comfort from one another.

The funeral went well. It was nice to see cousins and extended family we don't get to see often. One thing I wanted to write about so I don't forget was at the graveside service. One of Grandma's requests was that we all wait until she was lowered into the ground before we left. Out of all the funerals I have been to (too many) I've never stayed. Well Grandma is buried in between my Dad and Grandpa, so we were able to see the cement vaults that they were buried in.

I have been feeling the baby kicking the past few weeks. At first I wasn't sure if that's what I was feeling, but it kept happening and now I feel him at least once a day. The day before Thanksgiving I was laying on the couch watching TV and Martin was in the computer room playing a game. I had my hand on my lower belly, like I usually do, the baby was kicking and I swear I felt it from the outside. I called Martin in and made him put his hand on my belly. We sat there for a minute and baby boy kicked his hand!! His reaction was priceless, but I think it scared him a little too.

Thanksgiving was wonderful. It was an off year for us, meaning that Jason and his family, Gayla and her family and Seth and BriAnn all went to the other sides houses for dinner. Since my in laws are in England and don't celebrate Thanksgiving, Martin and I go to Mom and Doug's every year. This year Kevin and Whitney came up also. So it was Mom and Doug, Kevin and Whitney, Ruth and Kelly and Martin and I. Only 8 of us, but it was good. Seth and BriAnn stopped by before dinner before they went over to BriAnn's family's. Keri and Austin and kids stopped by after dinner for pie and to play the game Apples to Apples. After them and Ruth and Kelly left. Seth and BriAnn came over and we played Catch-Phrase for a while. It was a really fun night with lots of laughing.

Before we ate dinner Mom had us go around the table and tell what we were thankful for this year. Since yesterday marked the halfway point in my pregnancy I said I was thankful for that and Family. Martin said friends and family. Mom made us cry saying she was thankful for Family and those who have gone on before and that we could continue the traditions they started. Kelly was sweet and said he was thankful for a lot of things, but none of them meant anything without Ruth.

Seth and BriAnn are getting married a week from tomorrow! I'm so excited for them. It's been a busy three months and has gone by SO fast. I know I'm going to cry like crazy, but I can just blame it on the baby right?

Homestead and Halloween

Martin's work paid for the tech's to go on a retreat up at the Homestead in Midway. It was amazing. The colors were beautiful.

Here was the view from our private balcony.

Our balcony.

Martin from the balcony.

Living area.

Bedroom.

Huge jacuzzi tub.

Geese.

Look at all the fish!

Stairs to the top of the crater.
View from the top of the crater.


Us on top of the crater.

Seth and BriAnn hosted a Halloween party this week. It was so much fun. They were giving away a prize for best dressed so I figured we'd have to actually dress up. I was thinking a cowboy would be good for Martin, and I would be a cowgirl or indian or something. When I mentioned it to Martin I said "So I'm thinking you can go as a cowboy and I could be a..." He interrupted me and said "A cow?" I thought it was SO funny. So that's what we went as a cowboy and his cow.

We bought Martin's costume and I looked everywhere for a cow costume but couldn't find anything. So I made my costume. I just bought white sweats and sewed black felt spots on them. I think it turned out pretty well.

In the pictures you can kind of see my baby bump. Every day it looks more like a baby bump and less like my fat belly. I had another doctors appointment on the 26th. Everything is going great. Sara came with me and we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. I love hearing that heartbeat! The doctor said we could have the gender ultrasound sooner than 20 weeks. So 10 days from today is the day!!! I am SO excited.

Crazy Week

The last week or so has been fairly busy. For my birthday, I've been wanting to go down to St. George. I had made the reservation for our hotel in March, so I really wanted to go, and we were able to both get off work and head down for the weekend. It was great to be able to spend so much time together. When we both went back to work I was having withdrawals from not being with Martin. We didn't do a whole lot while we were down in St. George. I wanted to go to Tuachan to see Tarzan, but wasn't playing the Saturday night that we could have gone. I didn't even pull out the camera while we were down there, but it was so nice just to relax and be together. On our way home we were able to stop and spend some time with Kevin and Whitney. It's so nice to see them, and I wish we would spend more time with each other it's always great to talk to them.

Friday before we left for St. George, I had a job interview for the Sales Coordinator position at work. Tuesday I got a call that I got the job. I'm pretty excited but very nervous. I start training for that tomorrow.

Thursday I had another Doctors appointment and I got to see our baby again. Martin couldn't make it because it was right after we both took time off for our vacation so he couldn't take another day off. My Mom was able to come with me though so it was nice not to be there alone, and I'm glad she got to see our little one moving all over the screen. The doctor said everything looked great.

I have been having morning sickness. Throwing up usually just once in the morning before I get some food in me. I know if I ate crackers or something right away, I probably wouldn't throw up, but I just can't force myself to eat right after I wake up. I did just buy some graham crackers, I could probably handle eating those first thing, but saltines I can't. I'm almost out of the first trimester also, so I should be seeing some relief soon. I'm hoping my energy comes back too.