He is Risen

It may seem I'm a few months off with the holidays and seasons. To a child especially, these stories are important to share year round.
I again found myself caught off guard by Alexander and the way a child's mind works. Yesterday evening he walks up and asks me;
"has it been three days?"
what are you talking about?
"you know, three days and we'll go see Eliza."
I'm still confused here
"Like Jesus and the stone room"
oh wow. When did he last hear the story of the resurrection? Why would he suddenly recall said story and apply it to his baby cousin?

Daddy quickly pulled our book of church pictures, pulled Alexander onto his lap and explained the story of Jesus and the resurrection.

Although we will have to wait longer than three days to see Eliza again, I am grateful to know; yes, we will for sure see her again. She will be leading us and guiding us until we can again give her a big hug in Heaven. I wish it only had to be three days but the time will go by quicker than we realize. Soon we will be reunited.

I am a Child of God

This past Thursday was a hard day. It was a continuation of a hard week.

Eliza Lorena Scofield

April 5, 2012-August 8, 2013

Obituary for Eliza:

Eliza Lorena Scofield passed away on August 8th, 2013 due to a tragic accident at her home in Provo. Eliza was born on April 5th, 2012 in Orem, Utah, to Jeffrey and Mariangeles Scofield.

Eliza was her parents’ little blond angel. She was adored for her smile, her laugh and her great sense of adventure. She was her daddy’s little shadow and followed him wherever he went, whether it was up a hiking trail or helping in the yard. The day of her passing, she and her older sister Ana had just finished learning to sing the songs “Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree” and “Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”, in both English and Spanish. Their favorite song to sing was “If You’re Happy and You Know It”, accompanied by much enthusiastic clapping. Eliza and Ana loved to play, sing and color together.

Eliza will be greatly missed and fondly remembered by a large extended family in the United States and Spain. She is survived by her parents; her sister Ana and half-brothers Ethan and Jaron Scofield; her grandparents Robert and Carol Scofield; Grandmother Rosa Puig; and her aunts and uncles: Douglas, Michelle (Alan Boyer), Laurel Dawn (Klaus Hoelblinger), Sarah, Emily (Jonathan Jefferies), Shawna (Matt Willits), Kristen (Jacob Stevens), Jesus Ros Puig (Rocio Ayas) and 18 cousins. She was preceded in death by her Grandfather Antonio Ros.

Services will be held on Thursday, Aug 15th at 11:00 am at the Sharon Park 2nd Ward, 225 E 200 N, Orem, Utah. Visiting time is from 9:30 to 10:30 am, prior to services.

It was a quick trip but I am grateful we were able to attend Eliza's funeral. Grateful for family to lean on, and to do a lot of crying together. We got to my parents late Wednesday night, attended the funeral Thursday morning and left right after to arrive home late Thursday night. Oh it was such a special day.

 I brought quilt squares to have all the funeral guests sign. I am excited for this special project I get to create for Jeff and Mari. I will include them in a quilt, along with pictures and some clothes.

One of the good parts of the funeral was Jeff and Mari and two of their friends singing this adapted version of our church's popular children's song: 

I am a Child of God

(adapted by Donna Kulliard)

I am a child of God
and He has called me home.
My earthly journey's through but still,
I do not walk alone.

He leads me, guides me, walks beside me,
helps me find the way,
He welcomed me with open arms.
I live with Him today.

I am a child of God
and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh,
such peace and love you gave.

You loved me, held me, stood beside me
and though I cannot stay.
You gave me much to help me and
I live with Him today.

I am a child of God
and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours,
if you can but endure.

I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.
Help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open arms,
One bright Celestial day.

We all then met at Eliza's final resting place:

Her dad and his older boys, her half-brothers, Ethan and Jaron carried her body to it's final resting place.
A tiny casket for such a big spirit:

After my dad dedicated the grave balloons were released to Heaven 

We love you Jeff, Mari, and Ana. What an amazing family you are.

After the gravesite services we all went back to the church. My parents ward (congregation) had prepared a luncheon for all the family:

I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of this gospel. To especially know that this life is not the end. If I can but endure I will see Eliza again on the other side. And her parents do have the opportunity to raise her in the millennium. I know families are eternal and we will be together again. Life isn't fair, but God is. He heals the brokenhearted and their wounds and bruises. We may not know why things happen the way they do, but we can know God.
One of the things that really stuck out to me was my brother's amazing testimony. He was getting through this hard time because, as I paraphrase: "I have no regrets about Eliza's life. It was the best it could have been. I was the best dad I knew how to be. I was always in the now, and I never took her for granted". How many of us can say that? I know I will be striving each day to be more in the 'now' with my kids. I will strive harder to appreciate and love them more.
According to Alexander, Eliza is now up in the sky sliding down rainbows. A few days before the funeral we had a small short storm. I was a little slow with the camera but there was a bright, full double rainbow arching across the sky. I ran Breahna and Alexander out to see it. He looks up and says, "Hi baby Eliza. Mommy, is Eliza playing on the rainbows?" Kids truly understand more than we realize.

Emotions

My thoughts are in a whirlwind of emotion. I really shouldn't sit here and write this. I have finally been keeping myself together today. And I know this is going to start me blubbering all over again.
Not the best picture, at all. My niece Eliza was born last year on April 5th, 2 months later, Breahna was born on June 15th:

Sadly, little Eliza Lorena Scofield's mission here on Earth was completed at a very young age. Heavenly Father called her home. She passed away due to a tragic accident the evening of August 8, 2013

"Pure honest soul too good to live in such a wicked place. Is (s)he left forever beneath the silent clay? Ah no, I am but sleeping till the resurrection day." - W. Clayton 1853

It is so hard for me to be living 5-6 hours away from my brother, his wife, and my family during this time of grief. I want to be there to mourn and comfort with them. I am grateful we can be together through the miracles of technology. Until I can get there in person we will lean on each other through this grapevine of technology.

I sit here with emotions swirling, and so many questions of why?

I know this wasn't God's will. When we agreed to this Earth life we agreed to experience the good and the bad ... and sometimes the unimaginable. I know God won't step in all of the time, even if He can.
President Kimball explained:

“We understood well before we came to this vale of tears that there would be sorrows, disappointments, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears; but in spite of all, we looked down and saw this earth being made ready for us, and we said in effect, “Yes, Father, in spite of all those things I can see great blessings that could come to me as one of thy sons or daughters; in taking a body I can see that I will eventually become immortal like thee, that I might overcome the effects of sin and be perfected, and so I am anxious to go to the earth at the first opportunity.” And so we came.”

Crazy how we can just be going through life. Plodding along, same ol' same ol'. Then something like this happens that sweeps the rug out from under our feet. I am grateful we recently had our family campout. I know we need to make that happen every year. I think that is one of the reasons for the bad. To help us appreciate life and those we have around us.

My sister and her husband earlier this summer were trying to figure out what was wrong with a very sick daughter. When she was in the hospital for the second time she asked our mom: "I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be learning from this trial" and mom said "It's just the same thing we're always supposed to learn from trials and that is to rely on our Savior and use his atonement to help us get through it"

Life is unfair. And when it's not fair to us, that's when we complain about it.  But life doesn't have to be fair. There's so much more that God is offering us. And that's why bad things can happen. This is not forever, this is not the end. This is not the final product. The hard part is being able to see both ends of this life. To be able to look around during these unbearable hardships and know, 'all is well, all is well'.

Why do we have to go through this trail? Why especially my brother and his sweet wife? Each individual person needs to go to God and find out for themselves. In the depths of sorrow and despair we can either turn towards the Lord or turn away from Him. We can blame Him, or seek comfort in His arms. I think these hardships are to help us grow stronger and closer to God. There are surely other reason, though we may never see them. Perhaps, simply, it was her time to move on to the spirit world, and to teach others the gospel.
During trials I find myself more quickly turning to God. Dropping to my knees. Begging for relief from the pain. Maybe one thing I need to learn is to turn to Him even in times of good, especially then. I also need to learn to pray for the right reasons. Not for the trial to be lifted from my shoulders but perhaps for for the strength to endure or the understanding to continue. It may be that all you can pray for is the comfort of the Lord as you face the hardships that you are going through. I know it will come as you seek it.

I have had a church hymn on repeat in my head pretty much since the awful news:
Sweet hour of prayer! Sweet hour of Prayer! That calls me from a world of care. And bids me at my Father's throne. Make all my wants and wishes known. In seasons of distress and grief, my soul has often found relief. And oft escaped the tempter's snare. By thy return sweet hour of prayer...(2nd verse)...And since he bids me seek his face, Believe his word, and trust his grace, I'll cast on him my every care, and wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!...

I am so grateful for the Savior and the peace he places in my heart and mind. I am grateful for the hope I feel. I am truly grateful to know without a doubt; 'all is well, all is well'.