* Famn Damnily Christmas Party *

Oh Hark the Herald Angels Scream... actually when our family gets together it's like sardines fitting into a tiny box, conversation is had by all... at the same time! So yes the volume in the room gets a little loud! However I wouldn't want it any other way! I love my family and I love the lil' Hobbits (nieces and nephews). Today was a special day - Dad's Birthday! Happy Birthday Dad! You are an inspiration and a hero in my eyes. You have heart, soul, faith and a love that is incredible. You have taught me many things in my life - how to give, how to love, how to work, etc. You always hear the phrase "worlds greatest dad".. Well he's not the worlds greatest dad. He's MY greatest and favorite dad! :) I couldn't have asked for anything better! We have had our ups and downs - but that is what has kept us going. I love you dad and all that you have done and still do for me! Happy Birthday Father!!

Here are a few of the pictures from tonight's party! I do love my family! *Mwuah*

(you can click on this image to enlarge it)

*Family Tradition - Food Coalition*

For the past four years we have made it a tradition to go with Denny, Cecelia and the boys to the Food Coalition in Provo and feed the less fortunate. For each year, there is little surprise that I am moved and touched in more ways than I can describe.

This year we were blessed to have our dear friend Nalani and our niece Avery come with us! Thank you for joining us! However I think if I were to ask Avery about her experience, she would tell you it was a little different than what she expected.

As Avery, Kayden and I were serving the trays to the tables, the Chef asked if anyone knew how to play the piano. Avery not really volunteering was volunteered by Cecelia! :) Nothing like being put on the spot! Avery went up on the stage, sat down and played "Phantom of the Opera". It was absolutely beautiful and perfect! Later on in the night, a gentleman approached Avery "I want to personally thank you for the beautiful music. Our entire table appreciated the talent and the sound. You truly were amazing up there". Wow if the experience last night wasn't enough, to hear such passion and gratitude was awesome! I looked over at Avery and her face was as red as the ornament that hung on the tree.

A humbling experience to hear the stories of why those individuals are there. Most of which have full time jobs, homes, families, etc just not enough money for food. Others not having a place to stay or a job. It's sad and humbling but a true blessing that there is a place that they are able to go and get something warm to eat.

We as humans are on a every day journey with life. A journey of finding out who we really are. A journey of opening our arms and helping those in need. A journey of finding balance. A journey of figuring out if what society calls acceptable and not acceptable is really a fair grading system. Life is definitely a journey full of ups and downs. Understanding, Knowledge, Compassion, Love and Strength are really what I have found that keeps me moving forward in a positive direction. I am really focusing on positive energy that is brought in and out of my life. Experiences like last night with family and friends that I love, definitely is bringing positive energy into my life!

I love and adore my family and friends. I hold each memory close to my heart. The gratitude I have for opportunities like last night, words can't describe how I feel. I have to be the luckiest girl in the world. I have the most amazing nephews and nieces. For them to help and do service unto complete strangers really shows what kind of individuals they are!

Thank you again for an amazing and unforgettable night!

*Dream*

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

*The Garden*

Plant three rows of peas:
Peace of mind
Peace of heart
Peace of soul

Plant four rows of squash:
Squash gossip
Squash indifference
Squash grumbling
Squash selfishness

Plant four rows of lettuce:
Lettuce be faithful
Lettuce be kind
Lettuce be happy
Lettuce really love one another

No garden should be without turnips:
Turnip for service when needed
Turnip to help one another
Turnip the music and dance

Water freely with patience and Cultivate with love.
There is much fruit in your garden.
Because you reap what you sow.

To conclude our garden,
We must have thyme:
Thyme for fun
Thyme for rest
Thyme for ourselves

--Unknown

*Being there*

To love is, above all, to be there.

If you are not there, how can you love?

But being there is not easy thing, it takes practice.

The question that arises is: Do you have time to love?

The most precious gift we can give to the one we love is our true presence.

What must we do to really be there?

Do you have enough time to love? Can you say "I am truly here for you."

Perhaps the lives of those close to us cry out for us to take notice of our own.

Do you have a quest to be aware? Do you have the time?

Who are you, really?

*Embrace Criticism*

Embrace criticism, whether from the wise or from fools.
Never has a word been uttered that didn't have meaning to those who heard it.

*Journey of Life*

There is a point in ones life when giving unto others is satisfying. Leaving your soul and heart full. Giving becomes second nature without thinking twice about it. There is also a point in ones life when receiving from others is a lesson that needs to be learned. This has been a difficult lesson for me but has been a humble and gratifying journey.

Many thoughts and feelings have been racing through my mind. Sadness, Anger, Confusion, Hurt.... Emotions that have left me wiping away tears from my eyes. Emotions that have left me closing my eyes sitting in silence only to notice the breathe of my soul going in and out of my body. I am really embracing this time. These emotions are my stepping stool that is bringing me closer to the vision I have of who I am.

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.
--Aristotle

My inner fire is burning and becoming stronger. I know what I deserve. I know that sitting back and waiting for people to say or treat me a certain way is not always a good thing. I am learning that I need to ask for what I want with words. Humans can't and don't want to read my mind. I am a giver. I am a strong woman. I am worth more than I have given myself credit for. One day I will find a special individual that loves me and is proud to be with me for me.

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.
--Herbert Otto

I am walking with my head held high. I am embracing who I am. I am loving who I am. I am loving the progress I have made. I am the one in charge of how my destiny plays out. I am in charge of what energy is let in and out of my life.

Yesterday is the past for a reason. I know that I no longer need to talk or think about it. The past has made me who I am today. I am living in the present. As for the future, the energy and effort I give to my present is going to make my future amazing!

I sit here with a tears in my eyes. A tear of strength. A tear of gratitude. A tear of knowing that I have people that stand behind me and love me for who I am. I am ME and I love knowing that "ME" is a beautiful human being.

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours.
--Swedish Proverb

*Tis the season to.......*

...... Oh this girl is excited!!!!

*Sister*

.no words needed.

*Service Day*

Two weekends ago a dear friend Nalani asked De and I if we would like to help with Habitat for Humanity. Without hesitation, the paperwork was filled out. I love doing service so this was definitely something I was excited for! We didn't know what our day was going to be and with the freezing cold weather...I won't lie when I saw sand paper and paint brushes for the interior come out, I got excited! Definitely a humbling experience that will become a regular service project!

Lunch time, a woman that was working on the home with us, explained to us about her situation and how she has to have so many hours in order to qualify for a home. Just listening to her first hand made my gratitude grow. Helping hands coming together to help those in need, complete strangers is just absolutely amazing!

Thank you Nalani for letting us be a part of an awesome day! January 8th we may not be so lucky inside! ha ha!

(I promise we did work!!)

* I, a Proud Sister*

I love my family and I absolutely adore my sisters.. However today I am a VERY proud sister! The courage and strength it took for De to open her story up in the interview, not many would do. Her "lifestyle" not many approve or support. However looking back from the time she was open about being gay, it makes me sad for the pain of judgment she dealt with. It's really as easy as---Love is Love.

De- I am so proud that you did this interview! I am thankful for the progress and for the amazing life you live. You have come along way and have an amazing gift that everyone around loves. I guess I am a bit selfish when I say this, but I am grateful that your story is of success and survival. It is becoming much too common for similar stories not ending Happily Ever After... Sister, You are a survivor, a fighter, a great example to so many with your strength, and most of all my best friend!

Congratulations on a job well done on the interview!

 

*Come here friend*

I woke up this morning after processing a lot of feelings and thoughts last night after a conversation I had. I am grateful to have the most amazing people in my life, that keep me balanced and remain to support me through growth in my life.

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

Thank you for reaching out to me since the moment I met you and for showing me the meaning of support and friendship! I couldn't resist, these pictures somehow seemed to fit this blog! ha ha ha

I love you and am so thankful to have you in my life! Thank you for the words of encouragement that you continue to give.

*Ring a Ding Ding.. Wedding Bells*

I am a bit behind but I still feel it worthy to post about!

A congratulations is due to my all time BFF in the whole wide world and her new husband! Yes you read that right..."HUSBAND"! Woo hoo!!

The day was perfect on the mountain side of the Park City Ski Resort. The bride was absolutely beautiful and if it wasn't so against all rules and laws of men.. I would be saying that the groom was beautiful!

I stole- I mean I borrowed this video from Emily's mom! :) I'm sorry but they make me sick for how happy they are! ha ha! I love you both!

Emily & Jason in Park City from Davey Orgill on Vimeo.

Beside the breathtaking scenery, the amazing feeling of love and wiping the tear away from my eye (my lil' Emily is all grown up! ha ha) I think the best part was taking the Alpine Slide down the mountain... In a skirt and high heels! For those that are wondering.. It was a success! Absolutely no wardrobe bloopers or mishaps!


Again CONGRATS to Emily and Jason! YAY YAY YAY!!!!

*You, The Past*

Happiness

Anger
Giddy
Anxiety
Boredom
Lonely
Grateful
Emotions to feel and experience
Acceptance
Emotion unable to comprehend
You, The Past, my enabler
You are the one that signed victim to my name
You are the one that fed into me feeling unaccepted
You are the one that contributed in making me not feel beautiful
Time has passed, is passing and will continue to pass
Growth
New door opens
Stand Still - Halt
You, The Past are still there
The unwanted feelings creep up
Mind wonders
Fear fills my head
I don't hate You, The Past
I do hate how you make me feel
I clear my memory of you
I embrace the feeling of once feeling accepted
I am facing the feeling of way you made me feel
Your words, Your actions, evil
I want, I deserve, Serenity

*The Journey*

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver

** Today is Ghey Day! **

Today is National Coming Out Day! So I suppose it's proper for me to come out as well! I am out and proud to be a supporter of the LGBTQ community! I'm an activist at heart and am willing to fight for equal rights! I am proud of my sister and her courage for coming out--- I am proud and blessed to be here sister!! I am a proud friend of many many Gay/Lesbian/BiSexual/Transgender individuals (which might I add, are some of the most amazing people I have ever met!) I am a straight ally that will continue to support and love everyone! Thank you all of my dear friends, family and people I have yet to meet for being who you are. An example and constant reminder to me that humans can have such strength and courage!! You are all beautiful, amazing and a blessing in my life!!

**Canada**

What can I say --- I love road trips!
I still crave and talk about Ketchup potato chips-- all the time!
I wish I could make it a one way trip up North.
The people are amazing! The energy is awesome!
I am okay with coming to terms with it .. but I may be a Canadian at heart!

Thank you Dan for an amazing weekend of softball!
This "Yankee" walks around with pride showing off the bruises from the softball tournament!
I never would have experienced being stuck in a port a potty if it wasn't for you driving your truck up against the door while I was changing! ha ha!
I have come away from this trip realizing that Walmarts up in Canada are much more user friendly eh! What other stores can you test out deodorant BEFORE purchasing!?!?! ha ha
and Thank you Mandy for the shower and a place to stay! You are an absolute sweat heart!

Canada-- you have won this Yankees heart over!!

**Yuba Triathlon**

Well Triathlon #3 is complete! September 11 was a day to never forget. A day of emotion from the towers years ago to a day of physical and mental determination.

Waking up at 5:30am to well beyond COLD morning (28 degrees to be exact) really isn't how many people would call fun! Well I do! I loved every second of it! I mean your fingers, toes and body turns numb anyway, why not embrace race day right!? :) Putting the wet suit on, being in the lake 10 minutes before the horn was blown - well the blood wasn't flowing!



The swim itself was tough. I couldn't seem to get into a good rhythm. I would lift my head to the side for a breath in between strokes, while re-entering the water the bitter cold would give me an instant brain freeze. My legs I was kicking but could not feel my feet! The swim definitely took much longer than anticipated but the it didn't stop there. Exiting the water it was painful. Running up the dock with frozen, wet feet - HURT! It felt as though I was running on a trail of broken glass. Getting on the bike and riding 12 miles on a good warm day is nothing but a cake walk, however this day it consisted of cold air slapping against my already numb skin!

The ride started out strong... for the first 100 meters and the "pffffffffffffffff - POP" a flat tire! Oh great you got to love those! Let me say once again it was COLD! ha ha Changing a tire was not fun when fingers could not be felt! :) The ride continued and the frost on the fingers tips (literally) was a first for me! A good steady ride but once again not the weather I was expecting so the fast times that I have had in my past and training quickly went out the window!

Transitioning from bike to the run -- once again.. Running with needles throughout my feet up into my legs! I picture my blood going through my body ultimately looked like a slushee or slurpee. The run quickly became my favorite part of the race, which it usually is not! It was a solid strong finish which I was ultimately pleased about.

Race times:

19 599 Suzanna WORTHINGTON MIDVALE 0 02:03:05.5 00:25:14.188 00:02:33.593 00:54:19.393 00:01:32.119 00:39:26.291

Total time: 2 hours 3 minutes.

That is 20 minutes slower than my last! Frustrating? Yes a little bit. However with each race, I am learning more about me, more about my body and more about the strength I have mentally. Am I addicted to races? Absolutely!

Until next race....

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough."

Post race smiles! He needed a little help! ha ha ha

*Slow the Train Down*

WOW WOW and WOW! Almost a year and not one blog! I wish I could blame it on traveling the world, shopping the streets of Paris, riding the backs of camels, backpacking the highest peaks, going on safari in Africa....... (you get the picture!) I have nothing more than life has been busy! As I'm sure it has been for everyone! At times I feel as though, We are on a fast train - so fast that we are oblivious to the view outside the window. Today there is a pit stop and I am getting off the train to really embrace my life over the past few months! A lot of ups and downs, a lot of surprises, and definitely A LOT of what I am thankful for!

If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely
to be thankful for what he's going to get.
~Frank A. Clark

I lay awake most mornings before my alarm even goes off - and think about what needs to be done at work, what needs to be done around the house, when and what I can fit in when it comes to my training - however yesterday morning it was not the normal thought process. I thought of how amazing my life is. How lucky am I to have a body that takes the hour after hour, day after day - pushing to new levels of pain and sweat for my training. How lucky I am to have the most amazing friends that are ultimately the core of support. I have family that I can turn too, that not many in the world have. I could go on and on about how lucky I am for a lot of things! (however to avoid the boredom in the readers I will stop!)

::Training for triathlons vs Life:: Is there a difference? I am reading one of the most amazing books I have ever read. "The triathlon guide to Mental Training". I think I have highlighted more thoughts, quotes, and pages in this book then I have in any other book - including for my school studies back in the day!

"Without your desire and determination to train and compete,
all of the other mental factors - confidence, intensity,
focus, emotions, and pain- as well as the physical and technical
elements of triathlon, are meaningless"

The moment I read that, I applied that to my everyday life. Why do I put so much time and effort into the things I do? Why do I put so much time and dedication in aspects of my life, some of which others call a "waste of time" or "insane"? Call me crazy, call it a waste of my time, call me insane--- ultimately it is "my time". I am full speed ahead and going 500 different directions and 467 different speeds. I do my best with accomplishing my goals, my hurdles and my road blocks. Do I think what I do in my life is a waste of time? Absolutely not! My mind ultimately is the conductor that keeps my body going. Strong mind = Strong body.

This is what I've worked so hard for. I will not give up. Whether it's crossing the finish line 27 minutes slower than my last race, or finishing one of my workouts - at the end of the day - I accomplished something that I have put my mind too. Setbacks teach me humility and an appreciation for what it takes to be successful. Though it may not be pretty at times - these are the moments that I have time to gather thoughts, work through things, process past conversations, learn from mistakes.... ultimately this is my time to really learn from life. This is my time to realize all that I have and all that I have learned. These are the moments of solitude that I have time to be grateful and really embrace that my life is above all a true blessing.

This is one of the many quotes that I have highlighted in the book. I have read this over and over and have applied it to my everyday life- outside of racing.

"Too often, success and failure in our culture are defined narrowly; if you win, you succeed; if you don't, you fail. A wonderful aspect of triathlon is that, in any race, everyone can be a success."

I love my life and all that I am able to do with it. I love the people that add to my life. I love the trials and speed bumps that I experience. I am learning to embrace moments and roll with what is handed.

Here's to another run when I have my moments of laziness! Here's to the blisters that make it difficult to put my shoes on. Here's to the water that drowns me of my oxygen. Here's to the miles of road I ride. Here's to the life that I am able to live and experience.