Boy on a mission!

Harry is becoming more mobile now.  Still no crawling but lots of rolling and wriggling.  He generally manages to get to where he wants to get and has in the last 24 hours started to comando creep - not quite comando crawl yet, but can creep a good foot or two.  On Friday lunch time we went to the Red Rooms (a large bar with a kids area) for lunch with Kate and Henry.  The boys were on their tummies facing each other and Harry kept trying to stroke/grab Henry's hair, so I pulled him back a foot or so, so he couldn't reach and watched amazed as he comando crept forward so he could grab Henry's hair and face again!  Clever but naughty boy!

On Friday afternoon he was at Grandma's and in the space of an hour, had (1) broken into the  TV cabinet to play with the DVD player, (2) tried to roll under the coffee table to get access to the Sky TV remote, (3) rolled under the curtains to play with them and (4) removed all the DVDs from the shelf at the side of the TV cabinet.

On Saturday morning, he had rolled over to the (electric) fire in the front room, removed half the coal from it and started to try to eat the coal and also pulled over a side table with a full glass of water on it.  So conscious that I now sound like I should be reported to social services for being a negligent parent, I should say that on Friday at Grandma's we watched him do all this because he was in no danger and whilst he's a monkey I do want him to develop his curiosity and ability to move around and be independent.  On Saturday morning, he was left on the floor with toys to play with for 1 MINUTE whilst I made his breakfast, over 1.5m away from both items (which are in opposite directions BTW)!

My little monkey is getting too clever for his own good!

How time flies!

As my maternity leave comes to an end, I have been reflecting on how my life has changed over the last 7 months.  Before having a child you can never fully comprehend how your life will change.  I commented before Harry arrived that when you plan major life events, you are often able to picture in your mind how your life will be - for example, going away to university, getting married.  But during pregnancy I could never imagine how life would be with a child.  So here are a few things I have learned along the way that I wanted to capture:

• being a mother is a 24/7 job.  Whilst it is not currently as mentally challenging is my other vocation, it is physically and emotionally draining and you can't just take a break when it suits you!
• the first few weeks of motherhood are a shock to the system as you adjust to working your day and life around this little person who relies upon you 100% to keep them safe, clean and fed.  The real challenge is learning to operate on limited amounts of sleep.  Once you get used to that and fall into a routine, life becomes much easier.  As the baby gets older, you find you have to adjust again and life becomes harder because now baby as well as wanting you to keep them safe, clean and fed also wants you to entertain him - and he doesn't nap every 2 hours!  My house was spick and span for the first 3 months and has slowly deteriorated!! ha ha!
• My nursery rhyme repertoire is severely lacking and there is a limited period of time that peek-a-boo keeps Harry amused for!!
• I was always a deep sleeper and was renounded for sleeping through burglar alarms sounding in Barclays Bank Sports Club (as it was premises owned by a Bank it was as alarmed as a Bank!) - those alarms were LOUD!  Now, I sleep incredibly light and even if Chris is in the spare room with the monitor over night I will often hear Harry before Chris does with the monitor on the highest volume right next to his head!
• Mothers and fathers bring different qualities to parenthood.  Many years ago, we used to talk about Chris maybe taking some time out of work to look after any children that we had. I think it is a fair admission that in reality, that would  never have worked out!  I think mothers have different patience  levels, multi-tasking abilities and instincts to fathers.  There will of course be exceptions to this and I am not trying to judge all mothers and fathers, but this is generally what I have experienced so far in my own family and friends.
• I never knew that I would be so interested in poo (move over Gillian McKeith!).  With Harry's digestive problems I find myself opening each nappy and carefully examining it before disposing of it!  
• I have only retched once at a dirty nappy - whilst I appreciate that they smell (really bad) the smell doesn't bother me that much. 
• Motherhood can be a lonely place at times.  We were unlucky in that our ante-natal class only had 3 couples, all of whom live in different towns, so my social circle was far more limited than I had expected it to be.  Living in Nuneaton, the range of mother and baby groups are limited to "SureStart" centres (parenting centres set up by government in areas of economic deprivation to encourage parents from socially deprived backgrounds (although anyone can attend) to interact with other parents and learn from play leaders in how to raise and play with their children).  I have been to a few sessions, but without wishing to sound snobby, did not find any mothers there that I had much in common with.
• I think that the limitations of my mummy friendship group will not have been helped by Harry's reflux.  I never felt confident enough to take him to anyone else's house as I was too worried he would be sick on their floor/furniture etc. 
• I am slowly coming to accept that my body will never look the same again!  Whilst I am pre-pregnancy weight, I am definitely not pre-pregnancy shape!
• You need to make a real effort to ensure that you get some "me" time and also some quality "couple" time.  This is something we haven't been very good at doing.  The lack of me time has been a result of Harry going through a phase of not going down at night for Chris and only wanting his Mummy, thankfully this is something he has now grown out of!  My parents moved to Nuneaton this week so hopefully we can also address the "couple" time issues!!
• I love being Harry's Mummy but if I am totally honest, I am feeling ready to go back to work.  I feel that Harry needs a bit more variety to his days to keep him occupied and because he loves to watch people and other children, I think he will love nursery.  I just wish it was possible to have a better balance than having to go back to work full time.
• When your baby has medical issues, you need to arm yourself with all of the information you can possibly get your hands on so that you face medical professionals with all of the information that they need (and possibly don't know themselves) and be ready to fight battles for your baby.  Medical professionals are quick to dismiss first time mums as being neurotic but I had been telling them since Harry was 6 weeks old that I thought he had a milk intolerance and it wasn't until he was 5 1/2 months old that someone actually took me seriously and he was diagnosed.  So instead of my baby vomiting 50 odd times a day (which according to my GP was "trivial"), he is now only sick about 10 times a day and usually because he has been rolling around like an eejit.
• The NHS is no longer a free healthcare system that will look after you "from the cradle to the grave".  It is now "from the cradle to the grave provided you don't cost the system too much money from your GP's budget or take up too much of time".  Sadly, our wonderful free health care system is feeling the strain of the economic climate.
• Babies grow QUICKLY!!!  
• We bought too much "stuff" for Harry - clothes that never got worn, baby carriers that never got used.  
• Baby goods and supplies companies are the best marketeers in the whole of consumerdom.  Even with multiple food allergies and intolerances I have found myself staring at the baby food aisle wishing for something to appear in a jar or pouch that he can eat!  I have even on occassion purchased said jars and pouches (usually because a baby club has kindly sent me a money off voucher) and convinced myself that he will be okay with said food and then found that he isn't okay with it!

On the mend?

Harry has been in and out of doctors offices for the last two weeks now.  I have felt for the last 6 months like nobody wants to listen to me when it comes to how sick he is because he is happy and thriving (for which I am very grateful but still entitled to be concerned about his vomiting!).  So one day in January having had enough of going mad and questioning myself - is he really that bad or am I making it out to be worse than it actually is? - I made a note of every time Harry was sick, noting the time, graded the severity of the episode from 1-5 and noted what he was doing at the time (eg sitting reading or rolling on his gym).  He was sick 42 times - in 12 hours.  So enough was enough and off to the GP we trotted.

I knew that my GP would not take me seriously unless I presented him with all of the facts and when there is so much to say I didn't want to miss anything out so wrote it all down - it ran to 4 typed A4 pages!  I noted the history of his reflux and diet, the number of weaning foods we had tried, what he was "safe" with and what seemed to aggravate his reflux (at the time we only had 3 safe foods - brocolli, swede and sweet potato and 7 foods that he couldn't tolerate).  I also obtained quotes from articles from the american association of paediatrics and the archives of childhood diseases and illnesses which point to the link between reflux and cows milk protein intolerance.  I suffered with this as a baby as did my mum and one of my cousins and it is known to run in families.

The GP agreed that we needed to be referred to a paediatrician.  The waiting list for the NHS was running at 4-8 weeks and since I knew that whatever would be recommended would need to be trialled for a few weeks, we decided to pay privately so he could be seen immediately and we could get him on the mend before I return to work in April.

As luck would have it, Chris's fabulous HR manager was able to persuade BUPA to register Harry on his medical cover the same day and they agreed to pay for the consultation.

We saw Dr Nathavitharana who specialises in gastroenterology paediatrics with a particular interest in allergies.  His advice was to take Harry off the Gaviscon and comfort formula and to put him on normal formula with carobel (a thickening agent) and a drug called Omeprazole which stops the stomach from producing acid.

That Saturday we started Harry on Cow & Gate formula - he was horrendous.  Within 3 oz he was arching his back, writhing around, crying.  After two bottles we put him back on Comfort formula and emailed the paediatrician's secretary to seek advice on what to do.  That night at bath time, we noticed Harry was covered head to toe in eczema.  My poor little boy.  The paediatrician agreed to see us that week (rather than wait to see him the week after at our scheduled appointment).  One thing he had commented on at the first consultation was how clear Harry's skin was.  He was glad to see him quickly and see the effects of the milk himself and said that Harry had a cows milk protein intolerance and should be put on fully hydrolysed formula where the protein is broken down so that the body does not recognise it as an allergen.

Our GP doesn't do a surgery on a Friday so knowing we would have to wait 4 days we decided to buy the milk ourselves from the chemist - it cost £17.28 from Tesco pharmacy for a tin that lasts 2.5 days!
Today we saw the GP and after a battle he agreed to put the formula on prescription.  He doesn't seem as sick on his new milk but is still in a lot of pain with bowel wind and has been suffering with diarrhea.  Here's hoping that his new regime will start to sort him out soon, poor little Harry.

On a happier note, we have been doing baby led weaning where we let Harry feed himself rather than spoon feeding him purees.  He is loving it and his hand-eye co-ordination is coming on leaps and bounds.  I am still giving him some purees but he guides the spoon in himself.

Big boy in his big boy room

Harry slept in his nursery for the first time last night.  He is getting very squished in his moses basket now and I worry that his thrashing around will turn it over!  So last night, I was very brave and put Harry into his nursery.  He only goes in his nursery at the moment to get his nappy changed so I was worried he would not associate it as a place to sleep so we have started off with him in his moses basket inside the cot so he can get used to it.  Usually it takes Harry 10-15 minutes to settle himself off to sleep but last night, I put him down and then came down stairs to check the baby monitor was working okay (we had an analogue one which had terrible static and interference so you would be kept awake from it all night and swapped it yesterday for a digital one - much better!).  By the time I came downstairs, checked it for a minute or so then went back up, he was fast asleep!  Thanks very much Harry - miss you too!!!

Despite having a baby monitor that I can hear him on and a movement sensor pad that goes under the mattress so that if no movement is detected for 20 seconds an alarm sounds (and a light flashes on the parent unit every time a movement is detected) I still felt the need to check him 4 times last night and as a result had less sleep than I do when he is in the same room!

As much as his fidgeting and snuffling drive me nuts and keep me awake, I think I am going to miss having my precious little boy so close by at night.  We love you so much Harry.

Life at 11 weeks

Harry is 11 weeks old today. How time flies! I thought it would be worth jotting down some thoughts of how life is at the moment for us. He changes so quickly and I want to be able to remember everything!

Harry:
-is really starting to find his hands and spends a lot of time staring at them and trying to shove them in his mouth (but not for too long because judging by his face when he lands them in his mouth they don't taste too good!)
-always has cold but sweaty hands that he balls up in fists with blue fluff in them (I clean them EVERY morning but to no avail - they are dirty again within minutes!)
-started to sleep through the night at 8 weeks and now after his last feed (at 11pm) sleeps through to 7.30am but still manages to keep me awake with his grunting and fidgeting from about 4.30am
-is still in his moses basket which we prop up on blocks at one end because of his reflux but needs to come out of it now because he thrashes so hard I'm worried he's going to tip it over!
-is in a great feeding routine. He feeds every 4 hours or so and has just started to take 5 oz at most feeds
-is a telly addict and we have to keep turning him away from it!
-loves to stand up and has learned that if he arches his back and straightens his legs we cannot make him sit down (which makes things tricky when we try to wind him)!
-will happily chat for hours at a time with his grandma (he seems to save his best chatter for her) -is becoming a mummy's boy and has on occassion screamed when given to Chris and not settled until he comes back to his mummy
-weighs 12lb 2oz -still loves his widgey cushion to lie on
-goes to baby massage every wednesday and watches mummy doing pilates every thursday
-is a contented little baby

Harry chatting with Grandma

Laughing with mummy on his widgey cushion 

The first family photo!

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat...

With our first Christmas with Harry approaching I have been starting to do some Christmas shopping already and started to think about the type of christmas family traditions we want to have in our family as Harry grows up. My family never really had many christmas traditions growing up. Working in pubs, hotels and restaurants, Christmas has always been a busy time for my mum and dad and often Christmas day involved everyone pitching in and working during the morning and afternoon as we got old enough to do so. Mamas and Papas have on sale this adorable red felt envelope with santa's address embroidered on it and hook to hang over the door for the letters to santa to be put into it. I appreciate that Harry is only going to be 4 months old at Christmas but I always think these are the type of things you should buy when you see because you will never find them when you come to look for them. And it was on sale! It was meant to be! I also want Harry to have his own dedicated stocking that is used year after year. This is something Chris has had growing up and something I would like to continue. I would love to have the sewing confidence to make one myself but as Chris's looks a bit of a mess, I think I might just buy one so it can be treasured rather than hang limply as an embarassment to him in the future! I would love to make a tradition of decorating the tree with Harry each year. As children we always helped mum with the tree but it was done with little ceremony (my mum if she could would put the tree up on Christmas eve and take it down on boxing day!). I was thinking of something along the lines of decorating the tree then snuggling under a Christmas blanket/quilt to watch a Christmas film with cups of hot chocolate. Or instead of a film, maybe reading a Christmas story. Each year Christmas shopping is usually left until December, but with Harry on board, I am trying to be more organised this year, making the most of sales and deals in the months leading up to Christmas. We decided just to buy Harry 1 gift this year since he is so little, so I already purchased that in the sale (it's a Fisher Price activity table which is bi-lingual in English and French and hopefully he will love it!). Each year brings the dilema of what to buy for Chris's family. In my family we just buy for immediate family (ie parents, siblings and niblings). In Chris's family gifts are bought for grandparents, aunties and uncles and cousins and he has a big family! We used to buy gifts for each individual but in recent years I have been buying houshold gifts - a gift for the whole household rather than individuals otherwise it gets far too expensive or you resort to buying people cheap toiletries which are neither needed or wanted. Last year I made each household a hamper with homebaked goodies, boxes of chocolates, bottles of schloer and a charity recipe book. this year I have purchased some popcorn buckets and going to put in a dvd, popcorn, sweets and some drinks - a movie night in a box! I really wanted to include a blockbuster dvd rental voucher, but they don't do them! So instead, I have bought each family the Muppets Christmas Carol dvd. Hopefully that's a movie everyone likes!

My birthing story

So I've been totally lame in updating this blog. Oops. So this will be a long post to catch up on our recent exciting events!

Our gorgeous new addition to our family, Harrison Paul John Taylor arrived on 26 August 2011. His arrival was slightly frustrated and traumatic, but I guess most births are! Thankfully he arrived safe and sound by emergency c-section at 4.57am.

When we were in our antenatal classes, Chris and I took an evening to consider how we would like the birth to go and what options we wanted to go for. We decided on an active birth, preferably in the birthing pool. Chris would cut the cord, the placenta would be delivered naturally. I didn't want my waters broken artificially and I wanted to take skin on skin immediately on birth. Erm, it didn't quite happen that way! In fact, the midwife may as well have taken the plan and taken it as instruction on exactly what was absolutely not to happen!

Having had contractions since Tuesday night, we went to the hospital on Thursday morning with strong contractions coming every 4 minutes. By the time we arrived at the hospital (just a 10 minute drive away) the contractions had slowed down to every 7 or so minutes. The midwife checked me and declared me to be 3 cm dilated. We were advised to go home and come back when we felt we had to. So away we went and by lunch time the contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes again. So back to hospital we went. We were shown up to triage and told to wait in a cubicle. Contractions slowed down again to every 6 minutes. After an hour of waiting we were again told I was 3 cm dilated and to go home. By the time we got home the contractions were few and far between at 10-15 minutes apart. By 4pm I was able to sleep for an hour on the sofa with the contractions coming every 30 minutes or so. By 7pm they were all over the place (7 mins, 20 mins, 12 mins) but coming stronger and stronger. Whilst I was reluctant to go back to hospital, Chris insisted we go.

When we arrived, we were told that the shift was about to change over so they would not do an internal until the midwife I would be allocated for the night arrived. So they hooked me up to the trace instead which measured my contractions and baby's heartbeat. On the first contraction whilst hooked up, baby's heart beat dropped from 136 bpm to 56 bpm. This gives you an idea of why things didn't go to plan! When I was checked at 9.30pm I was 7cm (not bad going with just a TENS machine and bouncing around on a birthing ball at home in my opinion!).

With the heart beat dropping, they decided to break my waters to speed things up and get baby out quicker. There was meconium in the waters and this being a further sign of distress decided to move us to a bigger delivery suite so they could have a bigger team on hand and more equipment, including a resusitair (sp?) for the baby when he was delivered.

Throughout the labour, any time I moved off my left hand side or had a contraction the baby's heart beat dropped. I had a gut feeling this was going to result in a c-section and decided to ask for an epidural just after midnight. It didn't work! The midwifes had to call through to the anaesthetist to get permission to increase the dose. When they rolled me to my right hand side to let the dose settle on that side, the baby's heart beat stopped entirely and the crash team was called. As soon as I was moved back to my left hand side the heart beat came back and doctor was called off to an instrumental delivery in another room. He came back at 3am to do a fetal blood sample to check the oxygen levels. I was still 7cm. The oxygen levels being fine, he agreed to come back and check me at 4am, 5am and 6am with a view to deciding what to do to move things forward at 6am.

Over the next hour, the baby's heart beat stopped with almost every contraction. By that point, Chris was holding the monitor on my stomach and trying to find the heart beat when it stopped in case it was just the monitor losing contact that was causing the heart beat to go from the screen.

When the doctor came back at 4am, he looked at the trace and agreed with us that a c-section was the safest way to proceed. By that time, Chris and I were ready to demand a c-section because it was clear that the baby was not happy and we weren't prepared to put him at risk any longer.

At 4.57am on Friday 26 August 2011, Harrison Paul John Taylor joined our family, weighing 6lb 12oz. We had originally had a list of 4 names, Benjamin, Oliver, William and Harrison. Benjamin was by far our favourite but as soon as we held him in our arms, we both independently thought he didn't look like a Benjamin! Whilst I was being put back together again in theatre, Chris had skin to skin. For all the drama he caused arriving, he was fit and healthy with apgar scores of 9 (it's out of 10 for those that don't know and a score to show how responsive and healthy a newborn baby is).



I spent two days in hospital and was let home on the Sunday. Two days was more than enough! The food was vile and I barely slept because everyone's babies were crying all night! The girl in the bed next to me in particular didn't seem to get that when your baby cries, you need to feed it, change its nappy, wind it, burp it etc and just left it screaming in its cot until the midwife came in to see what the issue was!

So Harry is here now and is a gorgeous little boy who is starting to show his personality. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't like already! He has developed a new talent for pooing out the side of his nappy this last week and also becomes quite vocal when his bottle gets taken off him! He is suffering with painful wind at the moment, so we have had to start using Infacol when we feed him. He sleeps well, waking just once at night for a feed (usually at about 3am but has slept until 5/6am a few times now).

He is taking 3-4oz every 4 hours. You could set your watch by him!

Chris has been amazing since Harry arrived. He's been very bossy with me because I try to do too much after major surgery - like clean the kitchen cupboard doors the 3 days after surgery. He has done a great job of keeping Harry and I in clean clothes and food. We have eaten better this last 4 weeks than ever. It is much easier to plan and prepare meals being at home. Tesco online is my new best friend. Our weekly food shop is easily £20 cheaper from not buying all those tempting "bargains" as we meander around the store. Also saves me from getting trolley rage!