We're Still Alive :)

Wow!  So much has happened in our life - we've moved (twice), been halfway around the world, had some hospital scares, started the process to build a house and been completely crazy busy!

I feel like I need to reintroduce my family because its been so long since I've had a decent blog post!


Yep, we're all still alive - October 2012

In July, we sold our delightful first home in North Ogden.  Talk about bittersweet.  We have loved living there, loved our neighbors, loved our ward, and on and on.  We felt like we should move - so we did.  But, we had no idea where we were going to go.

 

The night we got an offer on our home, we went out to eat to celebrate.  We were sitting in Perry at our favorite summer restaurant - Call's Drive-In - and we talked about what we were going to do.  We literally had NO idea where we should move, if we should buy or build and basically we were looking at being homeless as a real option...we were that clueless.  I jokingly said, "Maybe we should just move here to Perry."  Immediately we both felt very excited, warm and happy - well that was a shocker because I never had any intention of moving back to where we grew up, but you have to go with what feels good.

Then we had to decide if we were going to buy or build.  I never wanted to build a house, but again, you have to go with how you feel and we felt we should build *sigh*. 

Our lot in Perry - doesn't look like much yet!  Our backyard will be a peach orchard - cue the fruit flies :)

We needed to find a rental house, but couldn't find one anywhere!  No one would do less than a year lease and so we were homeless...literally.  So we moved in with Ben's fabulous grandparents...oh how I love them - we had a great few weeks with them and then our friends had a rental home that opened up for us. 

So we are living in rural Willard in a beautiful house, battling fruit flies, mice, black widow spiders and all the other delightful things that come from living in the country...ugh, I hate the country sometimes!

But, you can't beat the view of Willard Bay from our house...one perk of where we live

 

As soon as we moved in to our rental, we had to get ready for a trip to Switzerland for our anniversary that we had planned for over 6 months...who knew it would come at such a crazy time, but we were excited to get a good break and have some fun without all the stress!  When we left, Lizzie's sodium levels were a little elevated, but we had a game plan with our doctors and my cousin who was taking care of the kids while we were gone.  We felt very comfortable leaving - who knew it would be the vacation from you know where!

 

Here's our trip in a nutshell:  Flights were horrifically delayed, got to Switzerland 12 hours later than expected, got lost in the Swiss/German/Austrian/Liechtenstein countryside, saw some beautiful sights, found out Lizzie was in the hospital.  We were only in Europe for a day and a half before we found out Lizzie was in intensive care at Primary Children's.  I immediately fell apart and started bawling about how I needed to go home right that second. 

Beautiful Lucerne

 

Ben gave me a Priesthood Blessing - if you don't know what this it, you can find out more here.  That calmed me and we felt like it would be okay to stay.  My mom who was with Lizzie encouraged us to stay because they thought she would bounce right back.  We tried to enjoy ourselves, but knowing our daughter was in the hospital was really hard.  We kept expecting her to get released from the hospital, but she just wasn't rebounding.

One day in Switzerland, I was sitting in a train station while Ben went to buy our tickets to see Jung Frau - a beautiful mountain in Switzerland.  I was crying uncontrollably, I knew something was seriously wrong and I just wanted to go home so badly. 

Jung Frau - gorgeous!

I reluctantly spent the day up on the mountain and when we got back to the hotel we found out that while in the hospital, Lizzie got up in the middle of the night and tried to get to the bathroom herself and got dizzy and fell backward and hit her head on the tile floor, had a seizure and was now unresponsive to people.  It was about the same time I was sitting in the train station crying...mother's intuition is a real thing people!

Our Lizzie

 

I freaked - we called the airlines and originally it was going to take us 2 days to get home.  I told the airline that I didn't care what it cost, but they needed to get us home NOW!  I feel bad for that lady on the phone.  But, they rerouted us through Europe, Portland and we finally got home to find out that our Lizzie had suffered a stroke, but she was finally responding to people. We were in the hospital a few more days and she finally stabilized enough for us to go home.


She is still not quite to where she was before this latest incident, but she is recovering well and we are in Physical Therapy again to help her overcome the stroke stuff - needless to say, I have had some anger management issues lately.  I was ticked off that we were finally going to get a break, only to have the most hellish experience I can imagine.  I think hell must be something like being across the world from your child, and you can't get to her.  It has been hard watching Lizzie backtrack and struggle, but she is a fighter and we love her so much!

Since we had only been in this house a couple weeks before we left for Switzerland, our former neighbors, friends and ward members brought us meals, treats and took care of us once again.  They are seriously the best and we yet again couldn't have made it without our them and our good family taking care of us.  My mom and cousin Betty deserve serious blessings for the help they gave us and the absolute stress they were under while we were gone.  Family is the best.

I have much more to post and I am going to get this blog in serious shape, so I'll post more later.  Life is Good.

Hilary Rosen/Mothers/My Amazing Wife/Mitt Romney

I have been following the Hilary Rosen attack on Ann Romney and all stay at home moms with interest.  I am suprised someone would be stupid enough to make such a comment, especially a woman who is a mother.  I researched Hilary Rosen on Wikipedia.  Obviously she is a far left liberal. (at the beginning of this post let me say that I am a moderate republican and I don't care for people who are on the far left or on the far right and that we need to meet in the middle on some issues).    She does have two adopted children (twins) with a previous partner and is a lesbian (just a fact about her lifestyle I personally don't agree with, but she is entitled to her own beliefs).  It doesn't mention how old the twins were when they adopted them so we don't know how many diapers she has changed or which one of the partners was working or staying at home with their children or if they both worked.  But this would qualify her as a mother.  I find her "apology" ridiculous and basically forced because the whole country is appauled at her insensitive stupidity.  I haven't followed it close enough,  but a friend said she put her foot in her mouth and basically unapologized the next day on Sean Hannity (a person I think is too far on the right). I personally hope this is a death knell to her career and it ruins her. 

I want to take this opportunity to say that I know there are many mothers who are forced to work because of family circumstances.  I feel for and respect single mothers everywhere who work their butts off without much help and in many circumstances do it on a limited income.  Many times, unfortunately, because of dead-beat, irresponsible boyfriends and X-husbands. Anyone who has had to work a full day and then come home to taking care of kids, making dinner and then cleaning the house knows that it is extremely tough.  O.k., it down-right sucks.  I have to do it about 10 times a year and it kills me.  I respect these women and don't think they are honored/thanked enough. 
I also know there are mothers who choose to work even though they could stay home.  That is a choice they make and I respect that choice.  I could NEVER be a stay at home dad.  I can't tell you how many days I come home from work and my wife has HAD IT!!!!! If I were a woman (thankfully I am not) I would want to work because I am not patient enough.  Work is a refreshing break at times.  Hilary Rosen is in this camp.  She chose to adopt and become a mother and obviously has chosen to continue to work even though she has children. 
The last type of mother is the stay at home mother.  My wife and Ann Romney are in this category.  I can't believe how hard my wife works. Most of the time when I come home from work there is dinner on the table and the house is clean (a feat in itself!).  My wife also accomplishes many things throughout the day.  From running kids to/from school, cooking and cleaning, her various projects,  and serving others my wife is busy.  I like to throw in the occasional joke about sitting home watching Oprah or Studio 5 while eating Bon-Bons, but in reality my wife works hard to run our household and I appreciate all she does.  I know I could never do it.  I honor and respect and thank all mothers like my wife and I think the world is a much better place because of them. 

 Like Ann Romney, my wife wants to have 5 children, I would like one more boy.  Many days, the 3 kids I have drive me crazy! Three kids is an incredible amount of work and drama.  As a parent we are out-numbered and anyone in this boat knows it can be CRAZY!!! 
Based upon my previous comments you might think I don't like being a parent.  My kids are actually well-behaved kids most of the time.  I love being a father and having a family.  With all of the chaos comes a heck of a lot of fun, joy, laughter and love.  I truly am a blessed man and I feel like I hit the family jackpot.  We do a lot of fun things as a family and are always on the go.  We have a great time as a family and I believe the work we do as parents is important.  I love my life!
One last comment on Rosen, I think the reason she said what she did about Ann Romney is because of their wealth.  She may not have worked in the work-force.  But based upon my previous comments,(and the reason this story blew up) we all know that all Mothers work hard.  She spoke poorly. 
My last thoughts: I know Mitt's father was a senator and also President of American Motors at one time.  As such,  I am sure they had it easier than most and had a good income growing up.  But, I also know that he has a dual MBA/Law degree from Harvard.  I guarantee that was not easy and a lot of hard work. A lot of people think Mitt can't relate to people because of his wealth.  But I think his hard work and education show that he can relate to working class people.  He is genuine and down to earth.  I don't consider him cocky.  
Mitt Romney's story is the story of the law of the harvest.  How do you fault someone that has gained a higher level education and has used that education to build wealth?  He is generous with his wealth and helps others.  He has created thousands of jobs.  He is a brilliant man. If anything, we need more people like Mitt Romney.
Here are some reasons I support Mitt Romney:  1. When he took over the Olympics they were 1 Billion Dollars in the red.  He found additional funding and cut costs within the olympics enough to have them in the black in 1 year.  This speaks for itself.  2.  I know he is a good man with family values.  3.  He is a God fearing person.  4.  Our economy is not great right now (as a financial advisor who pays attention, it is not as bad as the media portrays it, another story for another day) he is the one who can fix it.  There is evidence in the work he has done at Bain Capital, turning around and leading the successful 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics, and also the financial turnaround he did for the state of Massachussets. 
I have met Mitt a couple of times.  My wife used to work for SLOC and was an assistant to a VP there.  She worked with him on a regular basis.  We had dinner in his home with some dignitaries including the director of the Secret Service.  When I was in his home, he was genuine and down to earth.   
The last thing I have to say is how lucky I am to be married to my wife.  Here is a photo of the people in her department when she worked for the olympics that worked for and with Mitt Romney.

When my wife worked for the Olympics, she was the assistant to Cindy Gillespie, the VP of Federal Relations for the Olympic Committee.  Cindy is a democrat but strong supporter of Mitt Romney. She went on to work for Mitt while he was Governor of Massachussets.  In Mitt's first presidential debate she was sitting right next to Ann Romney when the cameras pointed to her. I am sure she still consults him.  My wife would never brag about this, but she could have most likely moved to Massachussets and worked with Mitt.   She had a good income at the time.  She could have worked in a higher profile job.  Instead, she chose to stay home and raise our children.  For the last 10 years there have been many lean times and years as we have struggled financially.  Our financial burdens could have lessened if she would have worked.  But like so many others, we have worked though the tough times.  Financially, we have been blessed as we have paid our tithing and worked through the difficult times.  When it was really tough, there were times when we debated if she should get a job, but we decided to work our way through it and we have been blessed.   I feel lucky to have such an amazing wife.  She works hard in our home.  I honor her and all mothers for the hard work they do in their families as they balance raising children, cleaning and managing our households, teaching children and spending time with them, and providing service to others around them.  Our society is better because of the hard work that they all do.

For those that read this, sorry it is long.  I just feel strongly that women bless our society and aren't thanked enough.  I also feel like Mitt Romney and his good wife Ann would be the best candidates to lead this country. 

For everyone, the law of harvest is true.  You reap what you sow.  Work hard. Serve others.  Take risks. Get a good education or specialize in something and you will benefit.  If you don't, life is harder in most cases.

Thanks to all Mother's for all you do.  Especially to the three women who have had the biggest impact in my life.  My good and amazing wife Carol.  My awesome, loving, and fun mother, Ruth Hart Huff.  And my sweet, kind and loving Grandmother, Karma Huff.  I am so blessed!

Spencer the Rock Star

Spencer has had a great month at school - he won first place in the school science fair (truthfully, we were a bit surprised  by this one)!  And, today it was announced that he won a school essay contest titled "What a Doctor Means to Me".

The essay was really hard for him - he cried ...okay, actually he sobbed through it and kept telling me he didn't want to talk Lizzie's surgery and the hospital, but we worked through it and we found out today that he WON!  He won $40 and a family dinner to the Timbermine Restaurant (oh yeah!). 

Here is the text of his essay...

What a Doctor Means to Me 

To me a doctor means that if somebody gets sick they can help them get better and if somebody gets hurt they can get surgery.  When my sister Lizzie was 5 years old she was sick for a very long time and one day it got very bad.

So we took her to the hospital and they took an x-ray on her and they said she had a brain tumor and so they had to drive down to primary children’s and I didn’t know what was going on.  I’m grateful for doctors because if we didn’t have doctor’s lots of people would die.  I’m grateful for doctors because they saved my sister’s life. 

I didn’t know what was going on and I was scared. Doctors aren’t just made for helping people get there sickness out of there body they help people be happy.

There was a really nice doctor that helped Lizzie and he got medicine squirters and they filled it up with water and squirted each other.  It made it less scary to see them have fun and playing with each other. Doctors serve the patients like their own kids.

Since the doctors saved my sister’s life me and my other little sister have been able to do things with Lizzie like play hide and go seek, play the Wii, go sledding , have sleep overs in each other’s rooms,  play catch with the volleyball , be goofy, play Legos, color, listen to music,  watch movies, and make forts.

Doctors help people live longer with the people they love.

And that’s what a doctor means to me.

I love how sweet my Spencer is!

TWO

It's a bittersweet time at the Huff house this week.  We mark the second anniversary of discovering Lizzie's tumor - it's almost impossible not to think about or remember each February because it forever changed our family.
I was alone when the doctor came in and told me that Lizzie had a tumor.  I couldn't catch my breath and I was oddly relieved at the same time - relieved that we finally knew what had been wrong for so long with our little girl.  Ben hadn't come with me to the ER because we just thought they would give her fluids and tell us what they had told us for a couple years...that they had no idea what was wrong with her.  The ER nurse told me she was sure it was juvenile migraines...oh how I wish it was something so simple.

So where are we two years later? We are doing pretty well!  To be honest, I've definitely played hide and go seek with my faith over the last two years.  It has been a rough go and it's still quite painful to see my darling girl be so altered and her physical body suffer on a regular basis.  I do question why, get angry and cry sometimes still, but those times are fewer and fewer and acceptance becomes greater and greater as time goes on.

Lizzie is doing really well and we are so happy she is still with us - she is an absolute joy in our home and does so much to bring peace to everyone.  Here's a rundown on Lizzie:


Stroke Recovery - doing very well, her left sided weakness is almost a non issue, but we have noticed her learning has been affected and we are working to help her overcome her learning deficiencies.  She does get very sad sometimes that she can't do everything the other kids can such as jump rope, etc. but we are working with her to overcome her physical limitations.

(Opening presents on Christmas - you can tell from her eyes being about the same size when she smiles that her stroke recovery is coming along)

Medicines - she is very stable on all her doses and is able to take a full dose of her growth hormone finally!  She is growing taller and has even lost a couple of teeth which is a good sign of the hormone working properly.  We will constantly have to monitor her meds and change them as she grows, but this has become quite routine for us - the only thing Lizzie complains about is having to get a shot every day - but she is a trooper!

Weight Gain - we have slowed it down a bit, but it's still an ever-present reminder of what she's been through.  We are still hoping for miracles for these kids that deal with hypothalamic obesity. 

Surgeries - her last surgery was a tonsillectomy and she has slept and felt so much better since then.  She hasn't had strep throat since the surgery which we consider a miracle since she had it 4 or 5 times last year.  We have NO surgeries on the horizon and we just continue our regular MRI's and check-ups to ensure the tumor has not returned and that she is doing well.

(Lizzie got glasses!  She loves wearing them and they will help correct

some damage done to the optic nerve from her tumor)

School - we are extremely blessed to have the kids in a charter school where respect and love for others is a huge part of the curriculum.  Lizzie commented to me this week that no one has called her fat this year in school...it's sad that she ever had to deal with that in the past, but we're grateful that people are kind and accepting of her where she's at.

She is doing really well and she loves to color people pictures, take gifts to people and do quiet activities.  She doesn't do very well in large, noisy places, but she has good friends that come and play and she goes and plays at their houses too. 

The other kids are doing well - we don't see a lot of the anger in Spencer that we were seeing and Calli has started to settle down a bit too so I definitely feel that we're on the other side of things and things don't feel so overwhelming and sad all the time.

Life is very much returned to a normal where we feel happy again.  We are so grateful that Lizzie is still with us and life is good.

We remain so grateful for the kindnesses that have been shown to our family - people still comment that their children still pray for Lizzie because it had become such a habit - we are so grateful and we consider Lizzie being alive one of the biggest miracles in our life and we attribute that to prayer, fasting and the positive thoughts that were sent our way.  We love our family and friends!

The Top Ten

We have been majorly MIA regarding our blog - I don't quite have an excuse except for one thing.  Once we got Lizzie stable and things were okay for awhile, I majorly 100% shut down, went into depression, got sick and just felt all around terrible.  I think I had been running on fumes for so long that it all hit and this summer was when it was the worst.  But, things are looking up - life is rosy again and I have figured out how to take care of myself and Lizzie and everything else without damaging my health and well being.
Since I could never post about all that has happened, I will do a top ten list of the highlights of the last few months...but be forewarned, it still promises to be a HUGE, LONG post!

10.  This should actually be number one, but Ben and I got away in May and went to Europe...London and Paris to be exact.  It was a wonderful trip and I fell in love with London and can't wait to get back.  I thought Paris was likewise amazing, but didn't love it as much as London.  We spent 3 days in each city and that wasn't near enough time for me.  Highlights included:  Les Miserables at the Queen's Theatre, Mont Marte in Paris (we had a celeb sighting...Uma Thurman), all the museums...I could have spent days in each one, the palace at Versailles and just spending time with my best friend and husband! 

Us riding the "London Eye" In the background are some of the main tourist areas of London

 The Eiffel Tower is so beautiful at night...the lighting was amazing

Ben trying to figure out just which one to buy in MontMarte...the artist was amazing!

 P.S.  The best part about London was that Colin Firth was at our hotel there and I was sorely tempted to douse his white tuxedo shirt with water to relive the Pride and Prejudice scene!! 

9.  Lizzie's Dance Recital - Lizzie is in this darling special needs dance class at Inspire Dance Academy and there is no pressure about it and they get to perform and have costumes just as other children do.  She loves it and did so great in her recital!

8.  Edward Jones Summer Retreat - We love Ben's company and they do the funnest retreat each summer for all the families...we have made some really good friends through his company and we had a great time up at Deer Valley Resort.  With each outing and new thing we do, Lizzie seems to improve and she is slowly overcoming her fears that came with the stroke.

7.  During the last few months we lost two sweet friends to brain tumors/brain cancer.  Our previous post mentioned Dylan Shaw and a fundraiser we were involved in for him.  He lost his courageous battle with a brain tumor a couple months ago.  Our hearts broke for the Shaw family...Dylan was such a special boy who touched so many people's lives.

Cute Dylan with Lizzie - we miss you Dylan!

We lost another friend last month - Daniel Allen lost his battle with brain cancer.  He was our HopeKids friend...last year his family and ours tied for raising the most money for Hope Kids and it was a fun little competition.  We had such hope that he would win this fight.  In the words of Daniel, "Cancer Sucks!"  He was such a special little guy and we will sorely miss seeing him at HopeKids events.

6.  Ireland - Ben can win two trips per year with his job and the second one he chose this year was Ireland!  Although, I didn't go with him on this trip because it is really hard on Lizzie when she is out of her routine and when I'm gone.  Ben went with his parents and they had such a great time and loved every minute of it. 

5.  Summer - the kids had a good summer and we spent lots of time at a park we LOVE up in Huntsville along with swimming, movies, playing outside all day and everything else that kids love about summer!

Our fam at our favorite place in the world...well, one of them - Sundance Resort!  And no comments about my chipmunk cheeks...I definitely gained weight during those months of depression but I've lost 17 and still going strong!

4.  Hope Kids - we still do a lot of activities through Hope Kids - it is such a great organization and really makes Lizzie feel special that she is our "Hope Kid" and the only reason we get to do these special things is because of her.  We did some fun things with Hope Kids this summer such as an Antelope Island picnic, movie days, and getting to go see Mary Poppins on broadway!

3.  Spencer - a quick update about our little man.  He is still the hero to his sisters, the helper to his mom, the playmate to his dad, a good little athlete and just a great kid.  We have noticed that he has been struggling with anger issues once in awhile and not just little anger...red hot explosive kind.  We have noticed this has come about since Lizzie's surgeries so we are making a game plan to get him some help to express his emotions. 

Once in awhile, he'll break down and cry about things.  This week he told me he was excited to get his Eagle Scout award...he can't even start working on that until he's 12, but he's still excited.  He was giving me ideas of what he might do for a project and he mentioned Primary Children's Hospital...I asked him what project he thought would be good and he said to start a babysitting service at the hospital so the parents could spend more time at home with their other kids that aren't sick.  Ugh, stick a knife in my heart - I felt so sad that he still feels traumatized from all the time we spent away from him.

2.  Lizzie - she is really doing well.  She finally is able to take growth hormone and she is growing!  We are thrilled with her progress.  She is growing, her weight gain is slowing down and we found a medication that helps her not feel that incessant, horrible hunger all the time.  We have really enjoyed a period of stability and she makes progress every day! 

We have noticed that her learning is delayed and we really have to work with her on reading, math and basic things that she already knew before her surgeries.  Her memory is sometimes really good and then other times, we notice that it's really not so good.  She is doing really well in first grade though and seems to be very accepted and loved in her classroom.  Her teacher is wonderful and Lizzie has been able to share with the class about her health issues and surgeries so they will understand and have compassion towards her.  She does have another surgery scheduled...boooooo! 

In two weeks she will have her tonsils out and while that may sound routine, it's anything but routine for us because she doesn't make cortisol and pain management & hormone balance will be a challenge.  We will probably be inpatient for a few days while they figure things out and get her stabilized.  We feel good about the surgery and think it will help her with her recurrent strep throat problems and sleep issues.


1.  Calli - she is a still a spitfire and is as crazy as ever.  Her best friends are boys and this week we were in the store and I saw her leaning over the cart and something fall out of her mouth.  I asked her if she just spit on the ground and she said, "yes, Riley does it all the time."  Riley is her best friend and he has informed her that pink is a horrible color and that girl toys are "boring." 

So now Calli plays with Spencer's legos and wants nothing to do with pink!  She is so funny, but she is a full time job for sure!  She just started preschool again and is doing well.  Calli is our snuggle-bug and loves to be as close to us as possible...although she has finally started staying in her own bed at night...it has been a LONG four years of getting up in the night with her. 

Life is good - it seems like with each trial comes great blessings as well and we have been blessed to be able to handle things a lot better.  This week Lizzie's hormones were all over the place and they wanted to hospitalize her to get her stable, but we made the decision to treat her at home and it was so nice to have the knowledge and confidence that we could take care of her and get her back to feeling good again. 

I promise to be a better blogger...I kind of use this as our family journal and there is a huge gap there!  We hope all of our friends are doing well - Happy Fall!

A Bittersweet MRI

Lizzie had a MRI this week - it was great - no signs of tumor or hemorrhaging anywhere...and the fluid has continued to go down around her brain so needless to say, we were so relieved and so happy.

The day before Lizzie's MRI, we learned that the son of some high school friends, the Shaw's, was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.  I can't tell you how much we have grieved for this sweet family and little boy.  It is hard to watch others' go through situations like ours because it just makes us so sad that other little kids have to suffer. 

Last year we were honored, humbled and blessed to be the recipients of the Todd Morrison Alumni Tournament fundraiser.  It quite literally saved us financially and touched us emotionally to such a deep level that we knew that we had to be a part of this in the future.

Our friends, the Shaws and another family, The Friedli's are the recipients this year.  Ben is busy organizing some fundraising dinners at Sonora Grill and they are also raising money online.  I feel like we have been blessed by so many groups this year and have raised funds and supported a few of them, but none have touched us as much as the Alumni Tournament did.  Our class of 1996 raised more for our family that they ever had for any family in year's past.  We want to help pay that forward.

Please donate if you are able at https://www.registrationfactory.com/v3/?EventUUID=DE5C63AC

You can read more about these sweet families at:  http://www.dylandshaw.blogspot.com/ and http://www.zachandtessie.blogspot.com/

Life is good and that is because we have been showered down with blessings from others - please help lift these sweet families if you can - I can't tell you how much it will help them! xoxoxo

ONE

It's been one year since our world was turned upside down - crazy how much has happened in a year and how our lives are so unrecognizable to what they were a year ago. 

This week has been hard - I blame it on Ben :)  We were sitting in church on Sunday and he looks over at me with tears streaming down his face.  He was thinking about what we've done in the past year and everything that has happened.  That's all it took for me to lose it. 

We decided that we wanted to make February 21st (Lizzie's anniversary of her diagnosis) a celebration.  So we got all of our family together and had a big dinner at Olive Garden (Lizzie's choice)!  It was so fun to have all of the people that mean the most to us surround us.  Our families are so special and we never could have survived this year without their support, love, prayers, food, and babysitting. 

    (Our awesome family!)

I have to admit that I woke up that day feeling huge amounts of anxiety.  My sister and Ben's mom said they both felt anxious for Lizzie.  She has been sick this week, nothing major, but it was kind of ironic that we found ourselves at McKay Dee Hospital on the 21st...that's where we took her last year on the same day for tests to find out why she was so critically ill.

Enough about that, ugh!  Life is good and we are happy.  Lizzie has started taking a dance class through Inspire Dance in Clearfield.  It's a special needs class and she is one of the highest functioning students there - it's so sweet to watch these kids with different disabilities and challenges just go out and dance.  There is no pressure to learn the routines perfectly and there is no stress at all - it's all about the joy of moving your body.  It's been really fun for Liz and she loves it.

(Lizzie and her good friend that she's made this year in school...we're glad she is finally coming out of her shell a bit.)

Spencer is loving sports like his Daddy and wants to play basketball all the time.  He loves Jimmer Fredette and even made his Pinewood Derby car and named it the "Jimmer Jaguar"...too bad it didn't perform as well as the real Jimmer does :)  He is the sweetest kid - I know in my heart that he was born first so he could help take care of Lizzie.  I've said this before, but I really feel he has been one of the main catalysts in helping Lizzie get better and regain more of her old personality. 

(Spencer and the Jimmer Jaguar...and yes, in case you were wondering, my kitchen usually looks like this!)

We went to the store the other day so the kids could spend their spending money.  Lizzie had already spent all of hers when she spotted a coloring book she wanted.  I told her she could get it next time.  Spencer secretly got the book and went up to the checkstand and paid for it and gave it to her so she could have what she wanted.  He is an angel.  Don't get me wrong, he is still a very mischievous boy and drives me nuts sometimes, but he is a tenderheart and I love him.

(Calli on her preschool fieldtrip to the aerospace museum...she thought the heads in the background were real...it really freaked her out)

Calli is my sweet girl.  Ever since Lizzie's surgery, she can't get enough of cuddling and me holding her.  She'll often come into our bed in the middle of the night and just inch up next to me as close as she can get.  She is very into balloons and anytime she has money she wants to buy balloons...needless to say, we have them all over the house! 

The other night after bathtub time, Calli was looking in the mirror as I was getting her dressed.  She said, "I have a skinny tummy and Lizzie has a fat tummy."  Lizzie just looked at her and said, "I am perfect just the way I am - I'm just the way Heavenly Father wants me to be."  I was so proud of her for not being upset and just telling it how it is. 

Her weight continues to climb - we are hoping for a miracle next month that she can start taking growth hormone again without getting very ill.  We are excited and nervous for her MRI next month too - we just hope it's clear and we can determine what we need to do from here on out.

As I reflect on this last year, I am grateful.  We are closer as a family.  I have met amazing women who are going through what I'm going through and I love them (Desirae, Heidi & Allison).  We are surprisingly better off financially than we were a year ago, even with medical bills, and Ben has been so blessed in his job.  We have discovered that we can do hard things.  And most importantly, we have been granted extra time with our sweet daughter and continually learn from her.  Life is good.