For now...

I do have stories to tell and things to say. But to be honest my interest is gone. I am going through this realization about myself and am trying to authenticate myself. I am not a writer. Sure I throw in a few funny stories, ha sometimes I even crack myself up. Let's be honest here I always crack myself up. I am fine tuning some talents of mine. And really writing is not one of them. I love to sing and I am going to work harder at that to see how far singing can take me. The path is open. I love tennis and any sport, so I want to focus more on getting active. I want to be a great cook, well in order to do that I have to branch out from recipes and do more trial and error.  I love taking care of my yard, but I need to spend the time outside in the yard to take care of it. So I guess what I am getting at is, I'm done with my blog. At least for now...

this is me begging...

Its going to be a rough 10 weeks, but if all goes to plan then by the end I will be a proud owner of a new 2011 Rainbow Vacuum. Trust me we are in desperate need, my friends Christy and Kelly can vouch for me. The thing is, Jeff and I became vacuum demonstrators to get this vacuum for FREE. We need 10 vouchers to get it, 3 demos equal 1 voucher. If we get 4 demos by Sunday, 2 days away.  We get 2 vouchers. We really need it. If you are willing to give us 1-2 hours of your day tomorrow please let us know. If you are willing to give us 1-2 hours of your day another day, please let us know. You do not have to buy anything, just watch us suffer through. Let me say that again. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BUY A THING!

Something in all of us...

We had a later dinner tonight. Jeff was working late so it was just me and the kids. We were enjoying our pasta and cheese with a side of green beans. After awhile we were goofing around. I sing a lot to the kids, unfortunately its mostly songs from Disney movies. So tonight it was "Everybody wants to be a Cat" from Aristocats. We were really rocking it. Probably considered raising the roof. We even got louder than our neighbors and that is a feat. Then we really starting goofing around, making weird snorts and contorted faces. I started reverting back to my days living with my sister with Downs. Then I realized maybe there is a little bit of Downs in all of us.

Summer Days...

This is the best summer day. Outside in your swimsuit, sunglasses on,

 lounging in your chair drinking a 

sweet refreshing drink.

*Summer, please come back.

Charlie broke his clavical...

This is what the ER doctor told me last night. Not quite as funny as Charlie bit my finger. Yesterday, while visiting the new Carters baby clothing store, Charlie was playing at a children's table. He was close by and I would check on him about every minute. Sometime between one minute and the next he figured out how to climb up on top of a table and proceeded to fall off. I didn't see it happen, but I knew it happened. I just knew something was wrong. It was confirmed every time I picked him up he would scream and cry. I took him to the pediatrician who thought it might be his ribs, broken or bruised, but since we couldn't do anything for the ribs she didn't want to expose him to radiation for an x-ray. Fair enough. Later after talking to my mom, she thought it might be his collar bone. I pushed on the collar bone and he started screaming. I felt along his bone and found the bump. I took him into the ER where it was confirmed it was broken. Although you'd never know it, he was all giggles and smiles the whole time we were there. I felt worse for everyone else in the ER who seemed to be in real pain. Unfortunately, there is nothing they can do for a broken collar bone, just medicate. Luckily for me Charlie slept all night last night and has been having a great day today. I feel so bad for him but he is a trooper. I love that kid and it kills me he is in such pain. Here's hoping that I don't become that mom that is on a first name basis with the ER doctors.

I often go walking,

in meadows of clover.

And I gather arm fulls

of blossoms of blue.

I gather the blossoms

the whole meadow over.

Dear Mother, all flowers remind me of

you.

Love you Mom

I am tired of...

You'd think I would have heaping amounts of patience. At least I thought I had heaping amounts of patience. Come to find out I lack the ability to be patient. Sure I can pretend. I can hold my tongue. I can even smile and nod at the same time while inside I am screaming. I wasn't fooling anyone, especially not God. He knew I was faking it. It was only a matter of time when the scream was no longer inside my head but reverberating out of my mouth. So here it is, my mouth vomit, I am tired of not having cabinets, I am tired of not having a clean floor, I am tired of not having a oven or a stove, I am tired of eating out, I am tired of wearing shoes around the house so not to get dirty feet, I am tired of rotten weather, I am tired of persistent little children, I am tired of children with selective hearing, I am tired of sick children, I am tired of being sick myself, I am tired of Jeff being gone for 10+ hours a day, I am tired of dirty dishes, I am tired of my disorganized tiny closet, I am tired of spending money and I am tired of not having enough money, I am tired of trying to shop with children, I am tired of  changing poopy diapers, I am tired of wiping drywall dust off every surface of my house for the 12th time, I am tired of the heaping pile of trash in my backyard, I am tired of not getting anything done because of two little ones nipping at my knees (literally Charlie bites my knees), I am tired of trying to think of a way to make it all better. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!