While we Wait...

Just thought I would update with some recent photos from our sweet Guatemalan family. Selena looks so happy...which makes us so happy. Enjoy the cuteness.

This makes me smile.

This makes me smile too.

Who am I kidding this makes me smile and laugh. I really do wish you could here this laugh.

Sweet girl. (sigh)

I love you Selena.

Still Trying Not to Freak Out.

Okay so, I just found out that the U.S. did summit a letter of intent to participate in the pilot program that Guatemala is supposedly initiating for international adoption! (It's a start) Eight countries total submitted a letter and only four can participate. Guatemala still has not announced who has been picked (surely the US will be picked though, right?!) The next step apparently is for each country that is picked to have chosen ONE adoption agency to be part of the pilot program. This kinda sounds crazy to me...only one agency from the big giant US of A can participate? Then we would have to get that agency on board with OUR story. Although all of these things sound like a long shot (in my head) I am deeply joyed (in my heart) by this news because it is a glimpse of hope. The first glimpse we've gotten in a long time. Praise God! I know that He is bigger and stronger than red tape and government agencies! Please pray.

Trying Not to Freak Out

Here is a small "blurb" that might change our lives...from Dallas Morning News. Still unsure of all the details. We found out that Guatemala has announced beginning a pilot program for foreign adoptions and that only 4 countries will be participating. Still not sure if the U.S. is one of those countries. Will update with more info when we know. Please pray.

World briefs

12:00 AM CST on Saturday, November 21, 2009

Guatemala resuming

foreign adoptions

GUATEMALA CITY – Guatemalan officials on Friday announced the resumption of international adoptions after a nearly two-year suspension prompted by the discovery that some babies were being sold.

Legal reforms established during the suspension will prevent problems in the future, according to the National Adoption Council on its Web site. The council did not say when adoptions would resume.

Before the shutdown, Guatemala was the second-largest source of babies to the U.S. after China because of its routinely quick adoption process.

Guatemala Trip Numero...who's counting anymore?

Well, we have since returned to the states and had an amazing (although short) trip this time around (like always). Josh and I found that all is well in Huehue with our Guatemalan family there and Selena is amazing. She is so tall! and beautiful. She is so happy too. This little girl who used to be so unhappy can barely contain her smile now, which makes it very difficult for anyone else to contain their smile when around her (especially me and Josh). Nothing makes my heart happier than seeing that smile and hearing that laugh. Josh has a gift when it comes to making her laugh. We learned of some very good news as well while there on the adoption front. I am hesitant to post too much on this blog at this time but know that God is good and taking great care of Selena. Mimi and Nufito are doing well and are doing an amazing job caring for our little girl. We love them and owe them so much. I have never met two people as selfless as they. Praise God for them! Enough chatter from me. Enjoy the pics below!

Selena reading the Word. She particularly likes Romans 8.

Silly Daddy

Heaven!

Beautiful!

Ahh Guatemala, my husband and my daughter. God is SO amazing!

Here We Go Again!

Headed back to good ol' Guatemala on Wednesday. Not sure if anyone reads this blog but just thought I would let cyberspace know. I will update with pictures and stories when we return!! Adios Amigos.

Picture Update!

Selena says "Am I doing this right?"

Josh says that in this picture Selena just thought she saw him at the door (awww)

Selena concentrates on holding her head up

Job Tears His Clothes and Laments His Birth and Paul Sings in Prison????

Okay, so I've been thinking about suffering. Not that I am in a deep pit of despair, but just kinda sad and frustrated with our current standing as Selena's parents (which is still just waiting). This coming week will be our one year anniversary of meeting our daughter. God has been unbelievably good and gracious and big this past year. I love that I can look back over the year and (ironically) say "thank You God that we went with our church to Guatemala even though I didn't really want to" and "thank You God for healing that child from near death last August even when I doubted that You would" and "thank You God that Josh lost his job in October (even though that scared me), so that he could go and get Selena out of that orphanage and into a safe place in November" and "thank You God that Selena is growing and happy and smiling and laughing and is loved by so many people despite the fact that I am not with her." And I feel kinda selfish that I still am wanting more. But I want more. Not just wanting to be Selena's mom, but also just wanting to see more of Him. Ironically, the fact that I've seen more of Him this past year was despite me and my own desires and fears and so I am wrestling with this thought: Will God have to continually go against MY desires (my flesh) and take me to places that I fear in life to show Himself to me?? I think the answer might be YES (okay I know the answer is yes). Which kinda hurts sometimes and sometimes I might have to "suffer." So if I'm gonna suffer in life I'd like to do it well (that's the perfectionist in me). And so I look to Scripture. Job suffered. His response?? Tearing his clothes, lamenting his birth, loathing his life, seemingly hopeless, doubting and yet God still glorified. Paul also suffered. His response?? Singing in prison (ugh)...again God glorified. So is it possible to respond in both ways? Is one way more glorifying to God than the other. Do I have to sing even when I don't FEEL like it? I have come to the conclusion that sometimes yes we grieve, we wallow, we lament and loath our own existence, but then...we sing and remember His goodness thus far and look forward in hope that He is working ALL things for our good, even our suffering. And I have hope that one year from now I will look back at this time of suffering/sadness that I can't be with my daughter and say "thank You God..." I am also reminded that more than Job or Paul my example to follow in Scripture is Christ. Jesus also suffered. His response?? Obedience for the sake of the gospel. When Christ went to that cross (willingly laying his life down) He prayed that the Father would take the cup from Him if there be another way. But if not, His will be done. God please give me the strength to say that every day. If God wants me to wait. I will wait. If God never gives me Selena. He is still good. If God kills me tomorrow...it is my gain. Weird, but oh so good.