Send a Christmas card or not

 It's January 4, and I'm sitting at my computer looking out the window at a frosty wonderland.  I started to write a Christmas/New Year's letter but realized this is not the day to do it.  As I wrote in my last blog, my kids just left and the thought of undecorating is a downer so my letter was sounding a bit depressing so I decided to blog about it instead. 😂  I may go ahead and make up a picture card but you know even the thought of that doesn't bring me joy.  So those Christmas stamps I got may just have to be for later this fall.

I just wonder what the Lord has in store for me this year?  I pray that the Holy Spirit will come in and fill me with so much joy that it will spill over into everything that I do, every person I meet.  And next year I will have so much to share that I can't wait to write that letter!

Another year, same me

 Here it is, Jan. 4...my last kids left this morning and now it feels like Christmas is officially over.  I unplugged the lights downstairs(as that is where the big Christmas tree was this year).  I will probably start taking down some of the decorations, except my snowmen.  It will be a slow process as too much at once is depressing.  This is always a low point for me...knowing it will be a long time until I see my family again.  As I am a bit of a recluse, I do enjoy the quiet and getting back to the normal routine.  Ben's family is always a bundle of energy and fun and it was really nice having Tim and Amy bring their musical talents and letting me play my clarinet along with Tim on the euphonium and Amy on the piano.  It was kind of nice having them here at different times so we could focus on each family.  Angela's time here lapped over so she could see both groups.  The community band is starting practices on Jan. 8, so I am looking forward to that. 

I'm afraid to step on the scale because this was a "no holes barred" Christmas for me.  First time the kids came home for Christmas in a few years so had to do Christmas baking and of course you can't throw any out after the hard labor and love put into it.  But I will make the effort to get into a exercise routine and change my eating habits (once the goodies are gone).  Not the best attitude, most would just toss the goods and get with the program!  Oh, well, that's me, have to gradually get my body acclimated to less sugar.😏

Since the day after Thanksgiving, Nov. 28, my mom has been living with us.  At first she was very weak and needed assistance walking and with personal cares, but she is progressing now and has a little better appetite and can get to her room and the BR on her own and get her clothes changed.  It's not that she is any trouble, she pretty much just sits in the recliner and does her devotions and crossword puzzles and we watch Hallmark movies in the evening.  But it does change the family dynamics a bit.  Curt is very giving but I know it is hard on him not having free control of the remote.  I think she will stay with us through the winter and we'll see what happens come spring.

Looking forward to what the new year brings.  I do pray for a closer walk with the Lord and being open to hear His voice.

Rethinking success

 My word for this year was "Determined".  This was the year I was going to lose weight and keep it off.  So in February, I joined Healthy Systems USA.  It was a little spendy for the supplements, costing about $350/month but I figured if I stuck to the plan in 2 months I could have lost 60 pounds and wouldn't need them any more.  Well, I did great the first month and lost 25 pounds!!  It wasn't too awful sticking to the plan, apple in the morning, salad, green vegetable and protein for lunch and supper.  No bread or sugar.  I fudged a little with the salad dressing and used Skinny Girl dressings on my salad, but seemed to lose in spite of it.  AND then came a birthday party in April for my Granddaughters.  I thought just a little cake and ice cream won't hurt but just that little tweak in my mindset was a down hill slope from there.  The good thing was that in spite of my giving into sugar more than I should and eating pizza on occasion I was not gaining the weight back.  At that time, I had lost #30.  And after I would indulge, I would gain 3 or 4 pounds but I would get back on track and lose them and then something else would come up that I would overindulge and so it has continued all summer.  I haven't ordered any more supplements and am banking on the fact that I know what I need to do to lose the weight, it's just a matter of DOING IT!

Food has always been my reward for everything!  I eat when I'm happy, sad, stressed, or if I have worked really hard and most anything else.  So when I was out walking today, I was thinking I was going to send out a text to my kids and asking for a solution to change my reward thinking.  I know some people go out and buy new clothes or something else to reward themselves but my finances keep me from that type of reward and besides, I don't like to shop.  So I was just asking myself, what do other people to reward themselves when they succeed in something.  And then God gave me this inspiration, "Let your success be your reward".  It is so simple and I am sure that everyone else understands that but for me it was an epiphany.  So from now on, I will celebrate my success by being joyful when I succeed in weight loss by enjoying the way I look, the way I feel and just knowing the "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"  and remember that "Whatsoever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God".

Another New Year

 As usual, every year I make resolutions...lose weight, exercise more, etc.  And like always at the end of the year I weigh more and exercise less.  This year I decided to work on time management.  Being retired it's easy for the days to just go on by and at the end I ask myself "What did I accomplish today?"  The answer is usually not much.  I have always had an aversion to journaling, whether about food intake, praying, just to account for my day...whatever it is I last about a week or two and never pick up the journal again.  However, when I come upon one of those journals I always wonder why I never kept it up because I find it quite enlightening.  Just like when I started this blog years ago.  When I read the old blogs, I am amazed and saddened that I don't feel that way or experience things like that anymore.  

I kind of got in this funk a few months ago and just can't get motivated to do anything.  Over the holidays I'm sure I gained at least 10 pounds but won't get on the scale because I don't want to know.  I'm trying to get back into intermitant fasting but too much Christmas goodies around but I'm trying to get rid of them so I can get all that sugar out of my system.  

So about the time management, I'm going to try to work up a schedule so I have at least an hour for morning devotions, 45 min. for breakfast and puzzles.  I should then exercise and practice at least one of my instruments for at least half an hour.  Check on Red Cross clients.  Housework.  Meetings.  And try and blog every day about what I accomplished.

Ok, today, I had my devotional time and then breakfast while I did a crossword and Suduko.  Then I practiced my clarinet and the piano for about an hour.  Did Red Cross work for about an hour.  Had lunch and went to Prayer meeting at 1pm.  When I got home I started taking some Christmas decorations down and then got a call from a friend who needed me to take her to Walmart for a phone charging cord and to get her glasses fixed.  She wanted to stop at Taco Bell for their new Veggie burrito and of course it sounded so good that I got one too and blew my intermittant fast for the day!  When I got home I folded clothes and sat down to watch Jeopardy and then the news and then my friend called and wanted me to bring over the Christmas goodies that I told her I had brought for her but forgot them in the car, so I took them over to her and then read a chapter from "Thoughts from the Mt. of Blessing".  Then I marked a new calendar with Curt's schedule and my volunteer activities.  And before I knew it, it was 9pm!  So there was my day.  We'll see what tomorrow brings...

Catching up on Life

 It's been so long since I blogged I couldn't even remember my login.  I'm not even sure where I am right now but I hope it's mine.  

I just returned from a short bike ride on a beautiful October morning.  We haven't had an autumn like this in a long time.  Just one year ago we had a blizzard and ended up with 2 feet of snow...hard to believe but I have pictures 😉  

Angela is here living with Mom and helping here do a little purging and cleaning.  I really admire her for doing that.  I know I should have been more diligent about going out and helping her out but she has always seemed so capable that I never felt the need.  I don't think of myself as a selfish person but I realize I am in so many ways.  I love donating money to different causes and if there's a project that I have a passion for I am right there but if it's not something I really want to do I keep putting it off even if I know I should do it.  This last January, I decided to start inviting people in the church over for dinner after church when we didn't have potlucks because I have always felt we are not a real friendly church, I being part of the problem.  So I wanted to change that.  It was great!  I enjoyed getting to know some church members better but then the Corona virus hit and shut down everything.  No social gatherings, no church, no school, restaurants were closed, even hair salons.  So being a bit of an introvert, I was OK with this.  I had no problem staying home and watching sermons and Sabbath School on TV.  I was still working at Menards 4 days a week because we were considered and an  essential business.  So really my life didn't change much and it was easy for me to forget that some people were really isolated and could have used a phone call.  But all my good intentions did not come to be,  because you know I don't like talking on the phone.

Things have opened up a bit but we're all wearing masks to go shopping and working and at church.  It's a different world.

At work I do a lot of kneeling and bending and ended up with a torn miniscus in my left knee and had arthroscopic surgery on August 11.  One week after my surgery I got a torn retina in my left eye and had to have laser surgery.  And then we went on vacation in the Black Hills from August 23-28.  It was fun with Tim, Amy, Skye, Cody, and Angela.  The weather was perfect and even did a little hiking even with knee surgery being only a couple weeks prior.  Even though Angela was dealing with a spider bite that turned into a staph infection and had to go to urgent care for some antibiotics and dressings.  She was very resilient and did lots of rock climbing with the grandkids.

Had to miss Hattie's first birthday party in April since the COVID-19 pandemic did not allow anyone to travel out of state.  By June, we did travel to North Platte and camped and celebrated Skye's and Tim's birthdays.  Ben, Kylie and Hattie did come from Lincoln for the day to celebrate with us.

I don't know where all these ramblings are taking me...I guess I was just thinking on my bike ride that I need to make some changes and get back to inviting people for lunch after church, especially since we don't have potlucks for the time being.  I need to get back into exercising and losing weight, eating healthier.  I am really hooked on the sugar and can't seem to get off it.  Here we are coming up on the holidays and I want to lose 20# by January when we go on our cruise for our 30th anniversary.  

I have to mention the blessing that occured because I stopped and talked to a neighbor friend when I was going on one of my rare walks, which didn't turn into a walk because I spent 3 hours talking to he and his wife in the garage.  Anyway, while we were catching up (since we hadn't talked since the whole Covid thing)  I mentioned I had had surgery on my knee.  She asked if I was wearing knee pads at work and I told her that I was wearing a sleeve but didn't offer much cushion and had been thinking about getting a pair and what do you know!!  She said "I have a pair you can have".  And they are not only attractive they are like kneeling on a pillow.  My knees are feeling so much better when I get off work!  And think if I had not decided to be a friendly neighbor and stop to talk, I would have missed out on a great blessing.  God is good if we only listen to His promptings.

Besides the covid, we've been having record hurricanes this year.  Even had to start naming them with the Greek alphabet.  I think they're on Delta now.  And the wild fires on the West coast are crazy.  I can't help but think this is God giving us a wake up call that the end is near.  Just like in the Old Testament He allowed bad things to happen to Israel so they would turn back to Him.  Like IIChronicles 7:14 says, "If my people, who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked way; then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

A High Day

April 26, 2019 was a very high day!  Starting out at 6:05 a.m. my granddaughter, Harriet Wren Barber was born.  She is beautiful and perfect, even has a bit of a red tint to her brown hair.  Ben and Kylie are overjoyed!
But the part of the day that was extraordinary was...OK I have to go back a bit. I don't know if I ever blogged about last fall when we were vacationing in the Black Hills and happened to attend a spiritual retreat at the Black Hills Health and Education Center.  They announced that they were looking for a nurse, a doctor and a CEO.  But when I heard they needed a nurse, I felt this burst in my heart that this is what I was suppose to do! You know after I had cancer and did the detox and watched documentaries about the broken brain, and I Thrive about diabetes and how changing your diet to a whole foods, plant based diet can help reverse most any disorder.  And I had been wondering what I was suppose to do with this knowledge and then this announcement came and I felt that this was the answer.  So I had inquired about it and Curt and I talked about it and come January I was going to move down there and eventually Curt would move when we got the house sold and he got a job but then when I got a call wanting me to be not only the nurse but the wellness director and that they still didn't have a doctor or a CEO I knew I couldn't give up my life here and go to a job that was so unstable.  So everyone here at home was very happy to know I was not leaving.  OK so now 6 months later, I get a call from Willard Werth wondering if I would consider coming again.  He said they had a new CEO and a doctor and things were looking better now.   I told him I would have to pray about it and talk to Curt.  So when I talked to Curt he said that he had applied to the SDDOC last fall but never heard from them so if they called with a job offer maybe that would be a sign.  Willard wanted me to start on May 4 so I knew I didn't have long to decide so I was really praying that God would direct me to what to do.  I really wasn't feeling the same pull to go this time and I was happy with my life here.  I had applied for social security because I lost my job at ACC because I refused to get the flu shot and then my job with Dakota Home Care was terminated because they felt the home situation was safe for us nurses so I was without a job and not sure I wanted to start another job and lose my flexibility to come and go as I please.  So I have been content with my volunteering. 
Amy and Tim went to a prayer conference in Nebraska City last week-end and I had gone down to watch the grandkids and Amy told me so many amazing stories that happen when you pray and watch God answer and work in peoples lives so I was really praying and trusting that God would lead me to the right decision.  So Wednesday, I wasn't feeling a pull to go to the BHHEC and I knew he needed an answer so I called Willard and told him I wasn't going to take the job and he tells me that he was going to call me because just in the paper that morning there was an article about Pennington County Sheriff's dept. needing correctional officers.  So I thought, is this my sign?  So I told Curt about it when he got home and I kept praying. 
I'm thinking OK, did I lose my jobs so I would be available for this?  Have I been cleaning out things, getting rid of stuff for this reason?  Did the Friendship supper fund run out so that would be one less obligation I would desert?  I didn't want mention this to anyone because everyone always tells me I can't leave!!  What would we do without you?  So I didn't want that to sway me.  So I kept praying.
Then Friday morning I was out raking in the yard and suddenly all these ideas started flooding my head about things to do for the church here in Jamestown and things I could do for the community and suddenly I knew I needed to stay here and help revitalize my church here.  So I called Willard right then and told him my decision and reason why and he was very understanding.  I was so excited about the possibilities that I was happy all day!  We got so much done in the yard and everything looked so good.  It was just a great day!!!!!!!!
So now to pursue those ideas that God gave me...I am praying for the courage to go on and know that if it is God's will that He can open doors and make things happen.

Looking Back

I've been reading "Chris Beat Cancer" and he was talking about journaling your cancer journey and it reminded me about the blogs I had done during my cancer journey 4 years ago.  It was good to look back and realize how good God was during that whole time.  In my mind I had been pretty good about sticking with the detox juicing and teas but in reading the  blog, I seemed to be eating out more than I remembered, even if I was trying to keep it vegan and organic as much as possible.
I remember thinking I would be vegan the rest of my life after that but in the past 4 years I have wandered in and out of vegan, vegetarian, pegan, and now I just call myself a flexitarian(because I seem to go with whoever I'm eating with at the time).  I know it's pretty pathetic...
I've watched documentaries and listened to podcasts and read books on how to eat more healthily but don't really stick to a rigid plan but I have to say I eat healthier and more mindful than I used to.
Starting January 1 I did a 7 day water fast because I was so disgusted with myself for eating so much sugar over the holidays and felt I needed to detox my body.  It actually was a great experience and wasn't as hard as I thought it might be.  Lost 13# and have managed to keep them off!!  I've started doing more intense exercise classes to help boost my metabolism.  Taking a few steps in the right direction and I feel really good.  I do tend to push my little gluteal muscle a lot so most times it is a little sore but it is holding up well!  My two main classes I do are Met-Con and Cycle 45 at TRAC and they are a really great work out for the whole body together.
I'm feeling good and working on losing more weight, Curt has been losing also so looking forward to this summer camping and biking and hiking!
It's been a long cold winter with almost a record number of freezing temperature days in a row and more snow than we've had in a long time but it's melting at a good rate so no flooding so far.
So many life changes lately but maybe that's for another blog...

C25K

My daughter, Amy, is going to run in a marathon in October!  When she told me I was so surprised, because truthfully, she has never been that big into running, and a MARATHON!!  But I am so proud of her and her determination.  She already ran a 10K after only training for a couple weeks.
Anyway, she told me about this app called Couch25K and said if she could run, I could run (more like jogging, at this point) ;)  Now my aspiration isn't a marathon.  What I've dreamt of doing is a Triathlon.  Of course I would start with a mini one, which is swimming 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles and running 13.1 miles.  But I like to swim and am a good swimmer, and I can bike, but the running has always kept me from even thinking about it.  But after today, I think it's a possibility... You see, I worked a 12 hour night shift last night so wasn't really thinking much about exercise today but after a 2 hour nap I got up and saw what a gorgeous day it was.  It's been in the 80's and 90's the last few days with high humidity but today only in the mid 70's.  So I decided it looked perfect for a bike ride because very little breeze.  I haven't been on my bike since last year but once I got out there it felt so good I decided to do 10 miles and it was GREAT!  Took me about an hour exactly.  I got done about noon and fixed a protein shake and watched some TV and then thought I feel like going for my C25K walk/run.  The app tells you when to start running and when to start walking and I can listen to the music I have downloaded on my phone.  It felt so good, I even did a little extra running since my route is 2 miles and the program is only 30 minutes.  I hope I feel this good every day!
I'm telling myself, "I am a triathlete"!  I can do it!!!