Remembering Baby Poppy

...Today, yesterday and every single day for the past four years. I honor your brief life by living mine to the fullest. It fills me with sorrow to know how much you have missed and to know that our family will always be missing a piece. Your life has taught me to appreciate my life in a whole new way and for that I will forever be grateful to you.

Happy Birthday Poppy!

Love, Mommy, Daddy and Louis

My Five Year Old

So now, we've reached five years. Five. Years.

Even though every year we celebrate your birthday, mourn your loss, reflect on the day I gave birth to you, this year seems different. This time it feels like I've reached some kind of milestone. Like I've passed the test of grief. The test of time. 

It's been five whole years and I still think about you, wish you were here, miss you... I haven't shed a tear in awhile, or really sat with my grief or pain. Things are just too crazy and hectic now. And truthfully, I feel like I've earned a little period of peace. 

But five. Wow. 

You'd be in kindergarten this year. You'd be so independent and smart. There would be hardly any of that baby left in you. I can't even conjure up an image of what life would be like. But somehow I still miss it and yearn for it.  

You'd be five years old today sweet boy. 

Happy Birthday! Wherever you are, I hope you know today is the most special of days. I love you!