Hannah's first birthday

Hannah's first birthday was absolutely perfect.

I took the day off and was able to say Happy Birthday to my girl at 1:30 a.m. when she woke me up. Then I got to tell her again at 3:30, then 4:15. She really wanted to celebrate. :)

We first went to get a donut and she had her first donut. I don't think she knew what to think at first but then she really dug into it.

Then we came home and she took a 2-hour nap in my arms. It was wonderful. So wonderful. She woke up, saw my face and then smiled. It was so wonderful.

Then we went out to eat for lunch.

And then the BIG surprise. :)

She had her first ice cream. :) And, oh, did she have fun. Ironically she didn't like the chocolate or mint, but really loved the vanilla. :)





It was such a perfect day. I can't believe I have a 1-year-old!

Here are a couple pics of our cute 1-year-old :)

Our christmas card--Merry Christmas!!

Hi everybody! It’s Hannah!

I’m going to take over writing the Christmas letter. I know that’s usually Mommy’s job but I’ve seen her work and to be honest, I think I can do better. Don’t tell her I told you that, but I think hers is kinda boring. So I decided I’d take over this year.

This year has been quite great! For the most part, my mommy and daddy have been taking care of me so I honestly can’t imagine life being any better than taking care of sweet, little me!

In January, my mommy was still on maternity leave with me which was so much fun. I wasn’t doing much except peeing, pooping and eating.

In February, Mommy went back to work which was hard for her. I’m so lucky Mommy works from home for the hospital so I can still see her every day. I know she really loves working from home. On Tuesdays I have my Grandma Days where my grandma takes care of me and I get to play with my cousin Jamie. Otherwise Daddy usually watches me while Mommy works. Man, I’ve got it good.

In March, I was just being my cute self.

In April, my brother Peter got married to my new sister, Michele. I got to wear a pretty new dress and had so many people telling me how cute I was. I also went up to the North Shore with my mommy and daddy on our first vacation as a family. April was a big month as I was also dedicated to God on Easter Sunday. My mommy and daddy promised to God to raise me in a Christian home and I think they are doing a great job so far. I’m in Puggles in my church’s AWANA group on Wednesdays with my cousin, Jamie, and I love it.

In May, I started rolling over! I was kinda upset at first because Mommy just kept trying to encourage me to roll over instead of helping me and then got so excited when I did it. Hello! If you want me to roll over, just help me! But, I guess that’s a big milestone.

In June, I started getting teeth! Apparently that’s a big thing as my mommy kept showing everyone and kept putting her fingers in my mouth to show everyone the teeth. It was annoying. I wonder how Mommy would feel if I put my fingers in her mouth all the time.

In July, it was a big month for our family. On July 3, my mommy and daddy legally became my mommy and daddy. It’s called “Gotcha Day”. I always knew they were my mommy and daddy but the courts had to make it official. It meant we no longer needed to have visits from the nice social worker and didn’t have to have monthly checks and we could be a normal family. We celebrated by having family over July 4 and I was so excited so many family came to see me, especially being it was over 100 degrees. I was also in my first parade. Grandpa and Grandma were in the parade for their toy business and I got to ride in a wagon with my mommy pulling me. I was still just sitting so it was fun to sit in the wagon. There were so many people there who thought I was so cute but to be honest, I was more interested in my toys in the wagon and my bottle than looking at all the people looking at me.

In August, I went on my first road trip! I went to see my Uncle Aaron in Chicago. It was a long drive but I took the opportunity to try and sleep being I don’t tend to sleep much at home. It was so much fun seeing Aaron. I got to go to the zoo and see a zebra! I love zebras. My brother, Chad, also moved out to North Dakota for a better job. My mommy says that’s far away and that makes me sad as I don’t get to see him very much anymore.

In September, I started crawling. Oh, man did I start having fun then! Wow. Life is so good now. I also won a Cutest Baby Contest for my mommy’s work. I wasn’t surprised. I am pretty cute. Not to brag too much, but I do hear how cute I am A LOT.

In October, it was my first Halloween. I went as a banana….get it, Hannah Banana? Just humor my mommy. She thought it was so cute. My grandma made my costume and I admit she did a great job. Peter and Michele also had a baby boy, Cruz. So, that means I’m an aunt. I’m not even a year old and I’m an aunt already. I guess I’m an overachiever.

In November, it was my first Thanksgiving and it was so much fun. I’m not much of an eater so the food wasn’t too exciting for me but it was still nice to see and play with all my cousins.

In December, I’ll turn 1. It’s so hard to believe, isn’t it? Doesn’t it seem like I just came home?

I know there is a proper way to end a Christmas letter, but I desperately need a diaper change (or like Mommy calls it, a code brown) so I’ll end it here.

Happy Birthday Hannah!!

My sweet Hannah,

Today you turn 1. It’s so hard for me to put into words what this last year has meant to me and what joy you’ve brought to my life.

From day 1, you’ve been my girl, my whole life and my whole world. I’ve always wanted to be a mommy. I’ve always thought there was no greater joy and love than the love of a child and you’ve proven that to be true.

Our journey to bring you home was a journey of years full of heartache, frustration, losses and many tears. We had so many circumstances stacked against us. But we kept fighting. I wanted so badly to be a mother and I didn’t want to give up on my child, so we kept fighting.

And we brought you home. There has never been a greater fight fought and won.

It was more than worth it.

Hannah, every day being your mommy is such a blessing. It’s a gift. Every day you wake up, I’m reminded that you are my precious daughter. A gift sent from heaven. Every breath I feel you make when I hold you against my chest takes my breath away. Your smile melts my heart.

There is no greater joy than being your mommy.

This past year has been amazing, the best year of my life. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve taught me to cherish life, to love unconditionally, to always put love and family first. You’ve shown me and the world that miracles happen and that there are so many wonderful, amazing people and so much good in this world.

I’ve seen that sparkle in Daddy’s eyes that has been missing for years. You’ve given him an amazing amount of strength that I don’t think he even knew he had. He glows when people tell him you look like him. He’s so proud to be your daddy and he loves you more than anything. He prays over you every night and tells you he loves you. You have an amazing daddy.

Happy birthday my Hannah. You’re an amazing little girl and I’m so honored to be your mommy. You are my heart and my soul and I give all I have to you and I know you give it right back to me.

I’m excited for a lifetime of birthdays, love, happiness and joy. We’ve only just begun.

With all my love,
Mommy

Hannah, I will be there for you

Warning! While this post may offend some people, that is certainly not the intention. While I’m not able to “cry it out” I have the utmost respect and love for parents that do. I know it is their way of parenting and I respect that. Please know I don’t think I’m better than you by any means because I choose differently. I just have a different parenting style. This is simply a letter for Hannah that one day I want her to read.

My dearest Hannah,

You’re 1 year old and we’re still having issues with your sleeping. Despite so many people telling me to let you “cry it out”, I just can’t do it.

I’ve heard it all. “I have to teach you to self-soothe”, “I’m spoiling you”, “you’re manipulating me”, “I’m not being disciplinary enough”, “I’m teaching you to walk all over me”.

I don’t agree with that and I want to tell you why.

Right now, your only form of communication is crying. You can’t tell me why you’re crying, if you’re hurting, sick, hungry, wet, cold, hot, scared, or just plain want your mommy. All you can “tell” me is that something just isn’t right for you.

Yeah, you might have a full tummy, you’re feeling fine and the temperature might be perfect. But you might just want Mommy. After all, right now, I’m your lifeline, the one you know will always be there for you, the one that feeds you, clothes you, changes you and makes you feel better. Maybe my arms are the safest place you know in the world and if being in my arms, gives you comfort, I will be there for you. Sometimes even in adults the stresses of life are too much and having someone there to comfort us is what we need.

I know one day you’ll learn to sleep through the night. As a matter of fact, I’m sure when you’re a teenager I’ll have to drag you out of bed for school as you hit the snooze button for the fifth time that morning.

Until then, I will be there for you.

I’m not saying these sleepless nights are easy. Some nights are so hard, I cry because I’m so tired. I go through my days feeling like a zombie. I love sleep. I love naps. Just like everyone else, I need sleep and it’s hard not getting it. Some days I can’t imagine these days will ever end.

But in truth, I know they will and I’ll want them back.

So until then, I will be there for you.

I want to tell you this. When Daddy and I got married, we had a really hard couple years. Daddy was so sick before his kidney transplant. There were many nights he couldn’t sleep because he had so much fluid buildup in his lungs. He was in the ER at least once a week and in the hospital at least every 2 weeks. There were many sleepless nights. I didn’t think it would ever pass.

But, it did. And I was there for your daddy and I will be there for you.

I’m your mommy, Hannah, and I’m your mommy 24 hours a day. I can’t imagine what it would be like for you to have your mommy all day and then to be put into bed at night, wake up when it’s dark and not have your mommy there for you when you want her there. I can imagine if I wasn’t there for you, you would be so scared. And if that’s one thing I can give you is comfort, then I will give it to you. I will be there for you. I won’t clock out at your bedtime and clock back in when you wake up.

Having you as a non-sleeper is a blessing. Do you know why? You show me you need me. You show me that I comfort you. You show me that I’m the one who makes you feel better. I’m the one who helps you when you need help. I’m the one who has the best, warmest, most comforting arms in the whole world. I’m the one who has the soothing voice who lets you know that everything will be okay. In your eyes, I’m a hero.

Thank you for that gift my sweet daughter.

I waited 9 years to have you in my arms. I know one day I will no longer be your saving grace. I’m going to be the mom who doesn’t know anything or understand anything. Although you will always need me in some way, you won’t need me to hold you to comfort you all the time, to help you sleep, to help soothe you.

So, until that time, I will enjoy the sleepless nights. I’ll take comfort in knowing that even though I’m not getting the sleep I want, I’m giving you the comfort and love you need from your mommy.

When I choose between sleep and you, I choose you.

I will always choose you. I will be there for you.

And when I see that big, precious smile and the way you reach out to me, I know I’m doing what I always said I wanted to do as a mommy. To show you I love you and to know that you love me back. Those smiles make every sleepless night worth it.

So until you learn to sleep through the night or you can tell me what is bothering you, I will be there for you. And I know eventually you’ll learn, in your own time. Just like you learned to roll over, sit up, crawl, stand and soon walk. You’ll learn to sleep through the night when you’re ready.

Until then, I will always be there for you. I’ll drink pots of coffee, grab a catnap when I can, put toothpicks in my eyes to keep them open, I’ll do it all. I’ll rock you, feed you, love up on you at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m., whenever.

Because I know one day I’ll be begging you to get up at 10 a.m. and I’ll want these days back.

I cherish this time because I can’t get it back once it’s gone.

I love you my sweet daughter.

Love,
Mommy

Hannah's and my song

This is a moment I will never forget and I hope Hannah won’t in years to come.

Last year on Christmas Eve, Hannah was only 4 days old. My mom and Mark and my friend had left for a bit and it was just Hannah and I at the house. We were watching music videos on TV.

Celi.ne Di.on’s song, Christmas Eve, came on about the time Hannah started fussing and I stood up and swayed and rocked her and she calmed down right away and was just looking at me. With the song in the background, I started singing it to her, really paying attention to the words for the first time. With tears in my eyes, I realized just how perfect this song was in many ways.

I’ll never forget that feeling of being with her, singing and listening to this song while she was in my arms at only 4 days old.

Since then, I’ve decided every Christmas Eve, Hannah and I will dance, listen and sing this song together. It’s going to be our tradition.

Unfortunately I can’t get YouTube to work right now and can’t find the video but I did find the words in case you don’t know the song. Just reading the words, you can imagine how much it touched my heart that day and how perfect the song was.

Here it is...Hannah’s and my song:

Celi.ne Di.on’s Christmas Eve

Snow falling gently on the ground
'Tis is the night before
And in my heart there is no doubt
That this is gonna be
The brightest holiday
'Cause here you are with me
Baby, baby, I can't wait

To spend this special time of year with someone who
Makes me feel the special way that you do

Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and they can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

We'll stay up late tonight
Decorate the tree
Just look into my eyes
And I will tell you truthfully
That I don't need no Santa Claus
To hear my Christmas wish
I got you in my arms
And what could be a better gift
Than to spend my very favorite time of year
With the one I really love so near, Oh Yeeeaahhh
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/celine_dion/christmas_eve.html ]
Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and they can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

And the bells are ringing when I hear you say
We'll do it all again on Christmas Day
I can't wait

Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and they can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

My family

Hannah with Santa

Hannah's first visit with Santa

She's gonna hate this picture when she gets older. :)

Picture taking for Christmas cards

Here is from a photo session with Hannah for Christmas cards. Which one is your favorite? :)

1.


2.


3.


4.


5.

Black Friday 2012

I have been looking forward to Hannah's first Black Friday for the longest time.

Of course that was before I knew she was going to be a nonsleeper. Then I was really nervous about it.

But she did so great!

It started out Thursday night at 8 at our local Walmart. I wasn't thrilled about stores starting it the night before and the fact that they couldn't leave Thanksgiving alone. But when you still owe $30,000 on an adoption loan and money is tight, you have to do what you can.

And honestly, it was better going at 8 at night than at midnight. :)

So, Hannah, Peyton, my mom and Tyler and I all went to Walmart at 8 p.m. Thursday night. I was so happy as I got everything I wanted. Hannah did great and was a trooper. Peyton said it was so scary. :)

After Walmart we all went back to my house and had a slumber party. We live in town and our Walmart and Menards are both very close so it's a tradition to spend the night at our house and then go shopping.

Menards started at 5 so we were up at 4:15. It was snowing and the roads were bad so there weren't as many people there as there normally is. So shopping went great and again I got everything I wanted and Hannah was a trooper!

Then we went and picked up donuts and coffee and brought them back to our house:



After donuts and coffee, we traveled into the Twin Cities where we heard Santa was. We stopped at Target on the way down and also Joann Fabrics and then went to see Santa.

As I predicted, Hannah hated Santa.

She screamed and screamed. And I thought it was so cute. :) I got a picture of it and shared on FB but I'll have to get it on here, too. Man, it was cute. :)

Then after we were completely shopped out, we came back to our house and decorated the tree which is another tradition.

I just love this time of year. I love Thanksgiving and Black Friday spending with family.

Me and my girl

I'm so blessed.

Thanksgiving 2012

It was a very special Thanksgiving this year. It was Hannah's first.

And we couldn't have asked for a better one.

Our whole family was there. My brother was home from Chicago and my brother and his family came down from Superior. It's rare that we all are around so it was just wonderful.

We took a picture of all the cousins. Brace yourself! For those who have been following me forever, will see just how much these kids have grown. It's unbelievable!!


From left to right: Tyler (9), James (2), Sam (4), Peyton (6), Hannah (soon to be 1), Adelaide (6) and Bemnet (11)


Hannah eating her first carrot

One thing that has amazed me is watching the bond Hannah and James have. It is so awesome to watch. They spend every Tuesday and Friday together and play so it's not surprising but it is so fun to watch them. James is constantly giving hugs and kisses and so is Hannah. Here are some pictures of them hugging, kissing and touching each other. It is so precious!







Here is Grandma and Hannah

And Daddy and Hannah

Overall the best first Thanksgiving we could've asked for with Hannah. I love this time of year and it's even more special having a little girl to celebrate it with.

I'm so thankful and so blessed.

Playing catch-up

Once again, I'm so far behind on blogging. Not only on my blog but reading others. :( I honestly don't know how moms do it with blogging and being a mommy. It's hard!

I do appreciate those that post their blogs on FB. It's so much easier for me to read them that way than on here so thanks. :) I just wish I had more time to blog and read blogs. I really miss it.

Anyway, I'll be playing catch-up here with some pictures and reading other blogs. :)


Here is a picture of Mark and Hannah. I love this picture. :)


A month ago, Mark's son had a baby of his own. So, Mark is a grandpa, Hannah's an aunt and I'm a stepgrandma. Wow. That makes me feel so old.

Of course I have to share a few pictures of the new addition. :)


Here is Hannah with her nephew, Cruz.


This is Mark's son, Peter, with his son, Cruz


Mark and his grandson, Cruz

One of Hannah's favorite things to do is sit in the sink in the morning while her daddy is getting his insulin shots. One day she'll figure out how to turn on the water and then she'll be shocked. But, she just loves sitting in the sink and it's so fun to watch her smile when I put her in there.




On November 20, my girl turned 11 months. I can't believe how much time has just flown. It's so hard to believe she'll be 1 year old in just weeks. Unbelievable. One thing I've really learned is to cherish each day and minute because it goes by so fast.



Here is Hannah at 11 months. Peyton was there for her pictures, too, so we were able to take one with her, too.

More pictures to come and I hope to get caught up on all your blogs too. :)

Mark is home!

Mark is now home. We actually got home last Sunday night but it's been a rough week.

Overall, he’s doing better but still so weak and has a bad cough. It’s a good day when he has enough strength to take a shower. But, he’s slowly getting better and we’re so glad to be home and have figured out what was going on.

It was stressful, very scary and a living nightmare. I had never seen Mark like that and not knowing what was going on was the worst. And then trying to be a mom on top of that made it even harder. I’m still having nightmares and flashbacks about it. At least it’s over, but it was tough.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and all your encouragement! It really means a lot!

More on Mark

Okay, here are more details about Mark. :)

A few weeks ago, we all came down with a flu bug. Luckily Hannah and I got over it in a few days. Mark, however, took awhile to get over it and never really fully recovered.

About 4 days ago he started having severe tremors and was extremely confused, falling, etc. He wasn't sleeping good at night at all and was walking in his sleep, falling, confused, etc.

I brought him in to be checked on Thursday where they did blood work and everything came back fine. we were told to cut out a medication and that it should get better.

That night was rough..very rough. He was very confused, falling, tremulous, etc.

The next day he fell in the bathroom in the morning while he was trying to give himself an insulin shot at a time that he wasn't due for a shot. That's when I was very concerned. I called Mark's doctor and said something was very wrong. I called 911 and he was brought in. They transferred him to where he had his kidney transplant.

After a day of tests, they ruled out all the "bad stuff". A heart attack, stroke, etc. They figured out it was a reaction to his meds on top of the infection he was fighting that caused the symptoms. Because of the meds he's on, he's immnosuppressed meaning that whenver he gets an infection, he's more susceptible to infection and it lasts a lot longer than "healthy" people. Therefore it was the combination of them that caused the symptoms

Right now they are stopping some of the meds and it's been working! Mark is doing much better. We'll see about reintroducing some of his meds.

Hopefully we'll be going home Sunday or Monday.

Thank you for your prayers!!

One year ago today

My dearest Hannah,

It was a year ago that our lives changed forever. A year ago today we found out we were your chosen parents.

I had just come home from coaching gymnastics. It was about 6:30 at night and I checked my email to find an email from the agency saying “L just picked you guys!”.

I was surprised. You see, because of finances we had actually requested our profile not to be submitted to “L”. But the amazing thing was God submitted it anyway and we found out that you truly were meant to be ours.

I made several phone calls and emails that night to see if this was indeed true. Could our profile have really been submitted without us knowing?

Yes, it could and it did. After 2 hours of phone calls and emails, I found out it was true. We were told it never happens that profiles mistakenly get submitted and this was the first time it had ever happened. The agency later told us that they received a phone call from me saying we had changed our minds and requested our profile be sent. I know I never made that phone call. Maybe they were mistaken, but maybe it was an angel of God who made that phone call. I know angels exist.

Either way, we excitedly accepted the situation. We knew you were meant to be ours. I’ll never forget the moment I opened up my email to find out that exciting news. We weren’t sure where the money would come from but we knew God would provide if it was meant to be.

And provide He certainly did.

What a blessing it was to happen to us so we can show people how things truly happen for a reason and if it’s meant to be, God will let it happen. All the glory goes to Him.

Hannah, this day is such an important day in your mommy and daddy’s lives. So important. This is the day we found our daughter, our miracle baby. The day we witnessed a miracle. The day God showed so many people that miracles do happen. This is the day you made a huge impact on this world. You alone. You gave people faith that if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen no matter what obstacles may come.

As exciting as this day is for us, I can’t help but think of your birth mom. This is the day that she found out that another couple would be caring for the baby inside of her. A couple she had never met and a couple she was entrusting a baby she created and nurtured for 9 months. I can’t imagine the emotions she’s going through and she is definitely in our hearts and prayers today. One day you’ll understand when you see the pictures and letter from your birth mom and you’ll see for yourself what a special woman she truly is and why this day is bittersweet for us. Because even though we’re rejoicing, I know this can be a hard day for her. We will always think of her and pray for her.

My sweet Hannah, I love you. You’ve made Mommy and Daddy’s lives complete. A year ago, we finally found the missing piece to our heart and you fit perfectly. Our lives have never been better and the days have never been so filled with love.

With all my heart,

Mommy

Mark is in the hospital

Just a quick note. Mark is in the hospital. He has possible pneumonia & issues with some medication interactions. He's been sick for awhile with tremors, confusion & dizziness, etc. I'll update more soon. We would appreciate prayers!!

Halloween 2012

As I stated before in the previous post, Hannah was pretty sick this Halloween. :( I felt so bad for her. We went out trick-or-treating the day before to a couple places to spread it out a little so it wouldn't be so much for her and we only went to places by us.

We went to see her Auntie Karen and cousins:



And we went and saw friends Alyce and Kaylee who sometimes watch Hannah:


On Halloween, the poor girl was really sick. We only went to 2 houses because she was so sick and she threw up at both of them. :( I felt so bad. Yeah, I realize we maybe shouldn't have taken her out but hey it was Halloween! So we bundled her up real tight, went to 2 houses and we were back home early so she could snuggle with Mommy.

Here she is with the Wallaces. The kids baby-sit her a couple days a week and their mom has done so much to help us bring our sweet Hannah home. In fact, Hannah got her middle name from her. This family is very special to us.


And we also saw our friend Karen who loves Hannah so much and Hannah loves her. Karen has been a great friend of mine for years and I love her so much.

45 weeks

When Hannah turned 45 weeks, it was a big week for her.

Not only was it Halloween, she also accomplished several other things:

Learned to wave bye-bye

Learned to give kisses

Learned to crawl on all 4s instead of crawling on her stomach

Learned to give high 5s and low 5s

On top of all this, she was also diagnosed with an ear infection and possible pneumonia the day after Halloween..and look at her, she's still smiling! What a trooper!

I'm so proud of her and to be honest a little sad. Wow is my girl growing up!

More Halloween pics coming up soon!

My letter in our paper

Recently I wrote a letter to the editor and I was amazed at the response I got. People told me they were in tears over it. Amazing! I wanted to share it here so one day Hannah can read what an amazing influence she has had on the world. I'm so proud of her.

Here it is:

My husband and I suffered with infertility for 8 years. In April 2011, I underwent an embryo transfer. My pregnancy test was scheduled on my birthday, April 18. I got the best birthday present ever, a positive pregnancy test.

Little did I know, that positive test was God’s way of telling me that we were going to have a baby, just not in the way we were planning.

Two days after my positive test, we got devastating news. I was miscarrying.

Little did I know, our baby was already growing.

For weeks, I was so depressed. Some days I just wanted to crawl into a hole.

Little did I know, our baby was already growing her nose that I would be nuzzling by the end of the year.

In June, I remember thinking I would’ve been 2 months pregnant. My baby would’ve been the size of a kidney bean.

Little did I know, our baby really was the size of a kidney bean, just being carried in another woman’s body.

In August, we started the adoption process with mixed emotions. We were anxious move on but I still carried that sadness in me that I would never get to carry my baby and knew that I would’ve been entering the second trimester.

Little did I know, our baby was indeed entering the second trimester, wiggling her toes that I would get to touch at the end of the year.

In September and October, we submitted our profile to numerous different situations, all with negative responses. Why was it taking so long?

Little did I know, the reason was a baby whose birth mom was just calling the adoption agency.

In October, there was a new situation. Total agency fees were listed as $46,000. Our budget was $40,000. I stated we were unable to submit our profile.

Little did I know, God decided to submit it.

In November, I received an email stating we were chosen. After several phone calls and emails, it was confirmed that our profile had been submitted in error and we were chosen.

Little did I know, our birth mom had already fallen in love with us and was excitedly showing everyone our profile as her baby’s parents.

After accepting the situation, we realized that with travel, this would set us about $10,000 over our budget which we needed to come up in a month.

Little did I know, God knew it would all work out.

With many family and friends, we raised about $9000 and stayed at a friend’s house, saving more money.

In December 2011, our daughter was born in a hospital states away. A daughter that God told me we were going to have by a positive pregnancy test on April 18, 2011.

When you go to the polls, think about those innocent lives and about the adoptive families waiting. Every baby has a purpose and is a gift from God. Vote pro-life.

An email from my sister-in-law

I got this email from my sister-in-law. It's awesome!!::

My dear family & friends,

What an awesome decision we make tomorrow!

Perhaps you feel angered and harassed like I do, by the all the phone calls and flyers that have been unleashed during this campaign of mudslinging , finger pointing, and distorted truths. I find myself thinking "to hell with them all". Every flyer and tv ad reminds me of children on a playground, who resort to being a tattletale on their playmate when things don't go their way (wasn't my fault) , rather than owning up to their own mistakes. Reminds me of the Garden of Eden, "the serpent beguiled me" (Eve) so I ate, "the woman you gave me" (Adam) so I ate, etc. etc. etc. It makes me wonder whether there are any grownups in the bunch we should support with our vote?

I have decided to vote according to the Word of God. Obama is in favor of government funded abortion for anyone who wants one, in fact, he intends to use your tax dollars to pay for the murder of innocent unborn children around the world, WHAT? People should be free to make their personal choices, but I do not want my tax dollars supporting this evil destruction of innocent life. Please do your research and vote according to your conscience, not your pocketbook, empty promises or distortion of the truth.

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and heal their land.

That is my prayer for us all.
God Bless America

Hannah's first Halloween--day 1

Last year at this time I was dreading the upcoming Halloween season as I knew I could've been 7 months pregnant, handing out candy to cute little kids and dreaming about the next Halloween bringing my own around and instead we were submitting our profile over and over again without being chosen. It was very depressing for me.

And yet, this Halloween, I was bringing my sweet little girl around in her cute costume....my little girl who is the same age as my baby/babies would have been had I been 7 months pregnant at this time last year.

Ironic, huh? :)

Her Halloween has already started. Last night we went to my mom and dad's with Hannah's cousins as my parents were going to be out of town for Halloween.


Here she is before putting on her costume. She is so darling!!


Mommy and Hannah in her costume. Hannah's really not that into it.


Daddy, Mommy and Hannah


Hannah. Can you guess what she is? If you guessed banana, that's right. :)


The four cousins, Tyler, Peyton, Jamie and Hannah


I LOVE this picture of Jamie giving Hannah a kiss!


And then Hannah is touching Jamie. I just love it!!

A special little boy

We’ve all had people in our lives who have made a special impact in our lives in some way, whether it be a big or small impact.

For me, recently that has been a little boy named V. (I will be using letters rather than names to protect their identity).

I have known V’s mother, H, since 1996 when we were both working at a gas station her family owned. We got to be good friends then but as the years went by, lost touch and then got back in touch through Face.book.

I remember back in November right when we found out we were getting Hannah, I had ran into H’s mom. I was so excited to tell her our news and she was so excited to tell me that H was expecting and she was going to be a grandma again in the summer. I remember thinking how neat it was that both of us could share such wonderful news.

Fast forward to the spring of 2012 and I was on Face.book when an update came up on H’s page with a link to a caring bridge website. I clicked on it and read the story and tears fell from my eyes. H and her husband had found out her little boy had anencephaly and that he would not live long after birth.

For months I followed their story, their trips to the doctor, their ultrasound pictures, the information they shared about anencephaly and how their sweet boy, V, would be able to donate his organs to other babies in need.

With each post I read and each picture I saw, I gave Hannah an extra kiss and hug and told her how much I love her.

I remember being in awe of little V, H and her husband. I admired their strength so much. I knew others who had the unfortunate experience of saying good-bye to their sweet babies far too soon but this story affected me so much. I think it was because I had known H for so long and because I now had a sweet daughter and I couldn’t imagine having to say good-bye to her.

I finally understood the love of a child like never before.

As the time neared for V to be born, I found myself thinking about the family constantly and praying for them. I couldn’t imagine what they were going through.

Hannah turned 6 months on June 20. V was born on June 21. He beat the odds and lived 5 precious days. I prayed constantly for them during those days. At night when I was up with Hannah, I prayed. I honestly couldn’t fathom how it was even remotely fair that I got to hold my daughter while H was preparing to say good-bye to her son.

When V passed away, I cried many tears. And yet I was in awe and had so much admiration for H and her husband as they continued to praise the 5 days they had with V and also that V was able to provide organs to 2 little babies. I was amazed at their strength.

As the days went on and I heard about everything H was doing to bring awareness about babies with anencephaly and the support she was giving to others going through similar situations, my admiration has grown even more.

I have to say that infertility has helped me cherish Hannah so much. I don’t take every day for granted and I spend every minute I can with her. But since knowing V, it’s taken it to a whole new level. I know how blessed I am not only to have my daughter but to have a healthy daughter.

I know how blessed I am to have those sleepless nights and even though I get so tired some nights from waking up for the 6th time that night and Hannah not wanting the bottle or being rocked and just screams, I know how blessed I am just to have her and instead of getting frustrated, I think of V and I give my little girl kisses and squeeze her a little tighter.

I know how blessed I am to have her in my arms, just to hold her, even more so now than ever before.

Hannah’s birthday is on the 20th and every month on her day, I think of V. I know he would’ve been just 6 months behind Hannah. And every 20th and 21st, I give my little girl extra kisses and hugs, tell her how much I love her and praise God that I have a healthy daughter I can hold whenever I want.

All because of a little boy named V.

Thank you for giving me that gift V. You are forever in our hearts and souls and we can’t wait to meet you.

My stalker

She has to make sure I'm actually working. :)

Spending some time with the family

Wearing polka dot shirts with Peyton


Hanging out with Auntie Danielle and Peyton

10 months ALREADY?1?1

Where I've been

Wow---it's been almost 2 weeks since I've blogged. :(

Unfortunately it's because we came down with the pukies here. :( Starting last Thursday night, the 11th, Hannah started with it and vomiting all night. She was sick off and on all weekend when we were away with the family but seemed to get better with the exception of diarrhea....which isn't fun obviously.

Then Sunday night, it was my turn. :( I got it and was up vomiting all night. By Wednesday I was feeling better but then guess who got it?

Yep, poor Mark got it.

Usually when he starts vomiting because of his gastroparesis (a diabetic stomach issue) he ends up in the hospital. Amazingly, he started feeling better Thursday night and was eating! Amazing! I think Hannah gives him extra strength with those special kisses, hugs and smiles. That and prayer. We had a lot of people praying for him.

Now we're all on the mend. Hannah and I are pretty much 100% while Mark is just really tired and achy but his stomach is good. Yay!

I'll be back with more pictures and posts. :) Hannah sure is growing. Tomorrow she'll be 10 months already! Time just flies!!

Hannah's first leaf pile

It's so much fun to do so many firsts with Hannah. I love to get them all on pictures and video. It is so cute and I can't wait to show her. :)

We have trees surrounding our house and we get a TON of leaves in the fall. I was so excited to go out and rake some leaves into a pile for her...her first leaf pile!

She wasn't too impressed. I was hoping for a better reaction but really she just didn't care for it.

But it was still fun taking pictures. :)