Hannah 3 months

Hannah had her 3-month pics today. She wasn't too cooperative so we're going to try again next week but I wanted to share some until then. :) Here are a few

Happy Tuesday!!

With so much love from Hannah Banana

Wordless Wednesday (second post of the day)

10 years

10 years ago, Mark received a kidney from his brother Scott. Scott gave Mark a new life and gave me my husband back. It's the best gift anyone has ever given us. Every year, I share this and this year is no different. I know many of you have read this but I like to share it. It's been published in our local papers and our church newsletter. It still brings tears to my eyes.

LOVE SIGNS

Ever since we started dating, Mark and I have always had a special love and bond. We are always together and so much in love. Maybe it is his sickness that has brought us so close together.

Mark has been fighting diabetes for over 40 years. In 2000, he started showing signs of kidney failure due to his illness. Two months before we got married in May 2001, he was forced to start dialysis. Every other day was spent driving him up to the dialysis center. I was fortunate that I worked across the street from our house and was a couple blocks away from the dialysis center. I could always drive him there and pick him up. The hardest part about it was dropping him off and leaving him, knowing I wouldn't be talking to him for at least four hours. Having my uncle die in 1988 on the dialysis machine made it even harder to leave him.

Mark has always been a very quiet, shy guy. Although he's always been very romantic and has always treated me like a queen, he's never been one to show a lot of emotion in public or around other people. I, on the other hand, love to show emotion at all times. I've always been one to say "I love you" when I'm leaving Mark for even a minute. Even just going to the bathroom or to another room, I'm always giving Mark a big kiss and telling him how much I love him.

Well, you can imagine how much it bothered me leaving Mark at dialysis without being able to say "I love you" or showering him with kisses. It would have been too much for Mark. So, to make us both happy, we made up our own "I love you" hand signal. It was a hand signal that only the two of us knew and a way that both of us could be satisfied. I could leave knowing the last words I "said" to him were "I love you" and Mark didn't have to say it in public. It was a perfect set-up.

This went on for almost a year until his kidney transplant. I would drive him up to dialysis every other day and every time I left him, we would give each other the hand signal.

In March 2002, Mark had his kidney transplant. Because of his weak heart and other issues, it was a longer surgery than expected. And after the surgery, Mark was sent to ICU with a breathing tube down his throat. He wasn't able to talk at all. I could tell Mark was very frustrated with the whole situation. He would consistently try to move and get comfortable. I knew he was very upset about having the tube in and it broke my heart to see him go through it.

I thought he was mad at me. The nurses would talk to him and he would nod or shake his head. When I tried talking, I would hardly get any movement. I knew he hated having that tube in and was very frustrated about his whole situation. I was so depressed and sad because I didn't want him hurting like that. I spent the first couple hours after the surgery crying because of everything Mark had to go through. I prayed to God to show me some sign that he was okay and he understood what was going on.

I kept going in every ten minutes--as much as they would allow me to. Nothing was changing. I could still tell that he was so frustrated and uncomfortable. It was heart breaking.

Visiting hours were over at nine, so my mom and I went in to say good night to Mark. He was still having problems getting comfortable and was still incredibly frustrated. I held his hand and explained to him that I had to leave for the night, but would be asleep in the waiting room and would come back during the night to check on him. He slowly nodded and I began to cry as I softly kissed his hand.

I was still crying as I turned around to leave. My mom stopped me and turned me around to Mark. His hand was lifting off the bed and ever so slowly formed our "I love you" sign. I ran back to Mark's bed and grabbed his hand said "Oh, honey, I love you, too. Do you know that?" He squeezed my hand and nodded. It was then that I knew Mark was okay and everything was going to be fine. God had sent the sign I had asked for and needed to see so desperately.

12 weeks!

Hannah Banana,

I can't believe you're already 12 weeks! It seems like just yesterday we were coming home.

You're growing like a weed. You weigh 10 pounds 14 ounces now. You're in the 25th percentile and the doctor is very happy with how you're growing and saying we're doing everything right. You're as healthy as can be. That makes Mommy feel good.

Just yesterday Mommy brought you in because she was worried about you. She's a typical new mom and worries a lot. She thought you had thrush which the doctor said you didn't. Then because you caught your first cold on 03/08/12, I was worried you might catch an ear infection, so I made the doctor look into your ears. They were fine. Then I had the doctor listen to your lungs and heart because of your bad cough. And of course you were just fine.

I'm sure you were secretly rolling your eyes at Mommy the whole time we were there and thinking I was way over reacting. But, it's just because Mommy loves you so much and doesn't want anything to happen to you.

You had your first overnight with Grandma on Valentine's Day! Mommy was pretty tired and Grandpa was going to be gone so you got to spend some quality time with Grandma. We are so lucky that you have a family who wants to be in your life so much. I love sharing you and I'm so glad you can have experiences like that.

You've been sleeping better at night with the exception of when you were sick. Then you were up almost every hour but that was okay because then we got to snuggle. But, I'm glad you're starting to feel better. Last night you actually had a 6-hour stretch which was amazing! But most nights, you have 3-5 hour stretches. Of course you have good nights and bad nights regarding sleeping but really, every time you wake up and give me your smile, it's a good night.

You absolutely love to get lotion at night when we put on your p.j.s. You give me the biggest smile when I put that lotion on you. And the lotion smells so good. It's fun to have that bonding time with you. And you wanna know a little secret? You're starting to get cute little rolls on your legs. I know you have trouble seeing them but they are so cute. I never thought you'd get "rolls" but they are there. Wow, you're getting so big.

I call you "pumpkin" or "pumpkin pie". Daddy calls you his "sugar girl". You've really got Daddy wrapped around your finger. He loves it when he's feeding you and you hold his finger when you're eating. You love to do that. It's so cute to watch you.


I was just thinking the other day that it's been awhile since you peed or pooped on me. Of course, then you decided you had to break that streak. You peed on me yesterday morning and then squirted on me last night. Both followed by a huge smile. I'll get peed and pooped on whenever as long it it comes with a smile. :)

You had your first snowstorm on Leap Day this year! We got about 10 inches of snow and all the schools were closed around here. Then 2 weeks later, we had record heat of close to 75 degrees. Wierd, huh? It's been beautiful out lately and it's hard to believe in just 2 weeks time, the weather changed so drastically. You went out on your first walk with Jamie and Mommy this past weekend. It was beautiful outside.


And just last night, I was able to sit on the deck in our swing and rock you to sleep. I had tears of happiness in my eyes. Life couldn't be better.

On Easter Sunday, you will be dedicated to God. This is a very big and special day for us. We can't wait to give you 100% to God. We know you are such a precious gift that God gave to us. You really do belong to Him and He blessed us so much by letting us raise you here on Earth. Your dad and I are going to do everything we can to show you what a wonderful God He is.

We love you sweetie. We still can't believe you're ours. We are so blessed.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy


Love this 11-week picture. Usually you turn on the camera and the smile disappears

Somewhat wordless Wednesday

The onesie says it all.....

This touches my heart

I tiptoed into your room one night.
I watched you sleeping there.
Your tiny body looked so snug
Wrapped in peaceful slumber's care.

... I thought of how you came to be
The child we'd longed to know.
I wondered at the sight of you:
"How could she let you go?"

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I
Felt the pain she must have known.
For I will have to let you go
Some day when you are grown.

A mother I might never meet
Had given me her daughter.
Yet, surely as you've filled my heart,
A piece of hers you'd won.

"How could she let you go?"
The question kept returning.
And in the depths of my own heart.
A question kept on burning.

"How can I ever let you go
When years have come and gone?"
I stood there by your crib until
The nighttime turned to dawn.

And as the sun peeked through the shades,
The voice of God broke through.
"I trusted her to give her life
And now I'm trusting you.

"To show her what is right and wrong,
to love her and to be
The one who teaches her the way
To come back home to me.

"She wasn't hers to give, you know.
And she's not yours to own.
I've placed her in your life to love
But she is mine … on loan." ~Valerie Kay Gwin

Hannah's first toy show

As some know, my parents own a toy store and go to shows. They mostly sell tractors. If you are interested, check out their site here!

(how's that for advertising, Mom? :))

Mark and I also sell toy cars and sometimes go to shows. Hannah had her first show just a couple weeks ago! She sported a cute new "IH" skirt she got from my mom and dad. She was the hit of the show. So many dealers were anxious to finally meet her


Hannah...ain't she cute? :)


Grandpa and Hannah


Tyler and Hannah


Daddy and Hannah


Mommy and Hannah. I love how she's touching my face. :)


Grandma and Hannah


My mom and dad with Hannah

Your cousins Tyler, Peyton and Jamie

Hannah,

From the day we dreamed of having you, we knew you would be close with your cousins from Auntie Danielle and Uncle Matt. We've always considered Tyler, Peyton and Jamie more than our niece and nephews and in a lot of ways, more like part-time children and we are so grateful for that. Your aunt and uncle made sure we are a big part of their lives and we couldn't thank them enough for that.

So we knew you would have wonderful cousins who would be more like your siblings and be very protective of you.

First, there's Tyler. He loves taking pictures and videos of you. I think part of it is the fact that he's got a cool new device that takes awesome pictures and videos but I think it's mostly because you're just so cute and loveable.

Tyler was a little stinker and didn't hold you until recently. He made the mistake of telling me so and so I made him hold you a lot at the recent toy show we went to. I think he secretly loves holding you. I catch him talking to you a lot and smiling at you. He sure loves you.



Tyler holding you for the first time



Then there's Peyton. You know what one of the first things she said when we found out you were coming home? She said "I've always wanted a sister!". She traveled our journey to bring you home with us in many ways and I knew she would be your "big sister" and take care of you. She loves you so much. I used to be known as "Auntie Tammy" but now I'm "Hannah's Mommy".

I love watching you guys together. When we go to church on Wednesday nights, Peyton always holds your hand the whole way to church. I love looking back, seeing you guys sleeping and holding hands. She is your big sister and I have a feeling you guys are going to be very close. She loves talking to you on the phone and is usually the first one to greet you when we get together.



Peyton giving you a kiss

And then there's Jamie. When you first came, he was a jealous little boy and sometimes even now he gets jealous. But, you can't blame him. He was the baby for a year and a half before you came along.

But, Jamie loves you so much. He loves giving you kisses and hugs. Sometimes he's a little rough with those hugs and makes you cry but he means well. He wants to show you how much he loves you all the time.

He's also a big helper. He's always giving us your bottle or nook, even when you're sleeping and obviously don't need it. He just wants to make sure you're happy. And when it comes to changing your diaper, all I have to do is ask him for a diaper and he'll bring me 5 and start pulling out the wipes. He's our little helper.


Jamie giving you a kiss

Hannah, I'm so happy to be able to give you the cousins you have. I couldn't have asked for better cousins to be with you and protect you like I know they will. I can't wait for you to be able to play with them and have fun. It's going to be such a joy in my heart to watch you enjoy and smile with your cousins.

Happy birthday to my daddy!

Today is my daddy's birthday and his first birthday with me!

When God told me who was going to be my daddy, I know I was getting the best daddy ever. He's been dealt with a difficult hand his whole life but he's stronger than ever. I knew when I was born that I had the daddy that was going to protect me and love me more than any other daddy ever could.

I'm so lucky.

My daddy means the world to me and I love him more than he knows. I love snuggling with him, laughing with him and giving him the biggest, most precious smiles ever. I can't wait until we get to go out for walks and play outside like he does with Tyler, Peyton and Jamie.

Happy birthday Daddy. I love you so much!

Love,
Your precious little squeaker