My little gymnast

Her first leotard :)

Fun at the lake

This last weekend we had a toy show near us in Wisconsin. We stayed at a resort by a lake. This was Hannah's first experience at a lake! It was a little too cold to go swimming so she didn't get a chance to do that but we still hung out a little at the lake.

I have to say, she is just so cute. :)


Look at that smile :)


Lounging around


My dad and Hannah. My dad's trying to get her to look at the camera but she thinks picking Papa's nose is much more fun.


There we go. :)

Last visit with the social worker

Since Hannah was born, we've had monthly visits with a social worker. In the state of Wisconsin, you need to have a total of 6 monthly visits.

We loved our social worker. I could talk to her about anything and she had such a big heart. I know we were paying her big bucks and she was "just doing her job" but we still created a relationship.

Our last visit was a couple weeks ago. It was a lot harder than I thought. I started crying when we were saying goodbye and then really lost it when she gave Hannah a big kiss and hug and told her "You're going to have a good life".

It's amazing the people you meet and the relationships you make in this journey. I just wish some didn't have to go. I'll be sending her a Christmas card every year so she can see how Hannah is growing, but it won't be the same.




Mark and Hannah


Our social worker, Brenda, and Hannah. I LOVE Hannah's smile!

Don't ya just love this face?

Meeting a blogger!

This post is long overdue. I've just been crazy busy and tired that I just can't find the energy or the time to blog or check blogs. But I won't change it for anything. Life is perfect. :)

One of the great things about blogging is finding others going through some of the same struggles and feelings you are and knowing that you aren't alone. What is even greater than that is when I actually get to meet the wonderful bloggers I've come to know and love.

I was so excited when Katie messaged me when I talked about meeting our social worker in a town in Wisconsin. I knew Katie was from Wisconsin but didn't know she would only be about 20 minutes from where we were at! I was so excited to meet Katie, Jake and their twins, Sam and Anna. Katie has been a HUGE supporter for the longest time and I was so glad we were going to be able to meet.

I knew Sam and Anna were cute, but really their pictures didn't do them justice. Wow, they are ADORABLE! They both have the most amazing smiles and laughs and can make your day just by smiling at you. And they were so well-behaved and lovable. It was sad to say goodbye to them. Anna was so sweet to tell us to "Drive safely" home. :)

And Katie and Jake are such nice people. They have big hearts and love Sam and Anna so much. They are wonderful parents.

Thanks for meeting with us Katie and Jake! I hope we get to see each other again soon!

6 months old today!!

Can you believe I’m already 6 months?

At my 4-month visit, I weighed in at 12 pounds 8 ounces so I’m close to doubling my birth weight. I know I’m growing very well and right on schedule as I should be doubled my birth weight now at 6 months, but man, that kind of sounds fat—“double my birth weight”. Maybe I should cut back on a few bottles or something.

I’ve recently found my first two fingers taste really good. I like to put them in my mouth when I don’t have a pacifier in there. Have you ever tried it? I think you should.

I rolled over from my tummy to my back on May 14 and from my back to tummy on June 1. You would’ve thought I won the lottery by the way Mommy was screaming and was so excited. Boy, just wait until I start walking. I wonder how Mommy will react then. I’m kind of scared to find out. I’m also starting to say “Mama”. Daddy’s not too thrilled about that as he wanted my first word to be “Dada” but I can’t please everyone.

I still love to bond with Mommy at night. I just don’t like sleeping. I don’t like missing out on anything and really, I just love my mommy. I love to see her as much as I can. I think Mommy’s trying to trick me though because I’ll lay in bed and talk to the animals and she won’t come in until I start crying. What’s up with that? I wonder if she hears me. Maybe I have to start talking loudly. It seems if I talk loud, I get more attention. Maybe that’s what I need to do.

I have 2 teeth! They are on the bottom. Apparently this is a big deal as I have so many people sticking their fingers in my mouth trying to see them. I mean, really? How would you like it if I stuck my finger in your mouth? But, I guess I’ll put up with it. It was a little painful poking those teeth in but my mommy and daddy kept telling me I was a trooper.

I’m able to sit up on my own for awhile now. Sometimes I’ll fall over but not too often. I’ve learned how to balance myself. Mommy thinks I’ll be a gymnast by how well I balance and stretch. I did my first vault the other night with the big gymnasts and they were so happy for me. I hang out with them once a week and get lots of attention and love there.

The big news is that on July 3, the adoption will be final! It’s called “Gotcha Day”. It’s really not that big of news to me as I always knew my mommy and daddy were my mommy and daddy. But I guess it has something to do with some legal stuff. I’m not sure. I try to stay out of it. But it has to be legal that they are my mommy and daddy. Once it’s legal, then we don’t have to have any more visits from the nice social worker and we don’t have to keep getting calls from other people. I have to admit, I’ll miss the social worker but it will be nice to just be with my mommy and daddy and be a normal family.

Well, that’s the scoop on me. I hope you’re all doing well! I love seeing you guys when I can and love giving big smiles and kisses. I give the best. Don’t be shy and see me whenever you are by our house or something as I love seeing my family and friends. I’m so blessed to have you guys in my life.

Love you all!

Love,

Hannah Dawn

Thank you!!!

I want to thank you all for your words of encouragement & support with my last post. I can't tell you how much I needed to hear that I wasn't alone. Thank you!!!

I know I'm probably jinxing it but for the last few nights she's been only getting up twice at night! Once at 1 in the morning & then again at 4-5 or so. She's been taking scheduled naps which I think has been helping.

I just hope it stays like that.

Thanks again SOOOO much!!

I promise I'm not complaining!!

I know many women would love to be in my shoes and I hope and pray that one day everyone who longs and wants a child so bad will become parents as it is the greatest thing in the whole world.

I’m just exhausted. I’m such an exhausted mama.

Hannah is still up every 2-3 hours. She’ll be 6 months soon. I’m not looking for any advice as we have seriously tried everything. We’ve discussed it with her doctor and Hannah is very healthy, happy and is perfect in any way. She just is a horrible sleeper. But she’s healthy and that all that matters.

The problem is she is dependent on the bottle to sleep which is where me as her mommy feels like a failure. She’ll scream and cry until she gets her bottle. She hardly drinks anything but drifts right to sleep, no problem. I’ll switch out the bottle for the pacifier when she’s almost asleep and then lay her down. We go through that every couple hours at night.

I honestly don’t really want her to sleep through the night. I LOVE holding her at night and feeding her. I just wish it wasn’t quite so much. I mean, once or twice during the night would be wonderful. Every 2 hours is just getting to be a little much.

I would love some encouragement from others. So many people tell me about their “2-month-old sleeping through the night” or “magically when so-and-so turned 3 months, she suddenly was sleeping through the night”. I’ve also heard of the 4-year-olds still not sleeping through the night which is encouraging to me. I don’t want to feel like the “bad mother” who messed her kid up by feeding her when she goes to sleep.

Again, I’m not looking for any advice. We’ve tried everything. Right now I’m reading the book “The No Cry Solution” which has been helpful and I’m hoping that it will help Hannah sleep better as I cannot and will not let her “cry it out”. I just can’t do it.

I would love to hear from other parents whose 5-6 month olds were making for very tired mamas.

The reason my life couldn't be better

Update on nursing!

That’s right! I’m still going strong! :)

The truth is, my Hannah Banana is a little stinker and only rarely will actually latch on. She has to be in the mood. The little stinker.

But I’m still pumping and giving to her that way. I’m able to produce about 8-10 ounces per day which I know isn’t much but it’s very improved from where I was at in the beginning and considering I had soooo many factors running against me, I think that’s pretty good.

It doesn’t come without a lot of work, though. I’m taking a total of 24 pills a day just to keep my milk supply going and I’m pumping every 3 hours except at night which I only pump once IF I’ve gotten enough sleep and I’m not too tired which lately definitely hasn’t been the case as Hannah is still up every 2-3 hours at night. So, it is just like having another child sometimes. It is a lot of work.

So I’m sure a lot of people wonder why I still do it, especially if Hannah isn’t the best nurser. The truth is, I absolutely LOVE the fact that I’m able to do something for her and there is no better feeling knowing that the milk I’m giving her is coming from me and I’m providing something very good for her. I can’t tell you how great it feels to be rocking her to sleep, feeding her a bottle with milk that I provided for her...not something I just “mixed” up, but something that I, as her mommy, was able to provide for her.

It’s the most amazing feeling and that’s what keeps me going. That, and the feeling when she actually does nurse, it’s so amazing. It’s a feeling that I’m so glad I’ve been able to experience.

And I have no plans to stop anytime soon. When I run out of the domperidone, I won’t be reordering it but I’ll still be pumping in hopes that I still produce something. Thanks to a wonderful friend, I still have enough domperidone for a few more months at least, possibly more, all donated. It’s amazing how God provides.

I’m so excited and so grateful that I’ve been able to have this part of mommyhood. It’s a wonderful, amazing opportunity that I never thought I would have.

Rock on!!