Living a nightmare

I had taken a week off of work the week before Memorial Day. We wanted to do what any family loves to do---spend some quality time together.

Mark hadn’t been feeling the best so we decided to cancel our regular 3-day trip to the North Shore and just go for a quick overnight at a hotel in the Twin Cities that had an amazing kiddie pool with a slide and other water features that Hannah just loved. We knew she would be in her glory and there’s nothing better than watching your daughter have the time of her life.

And she did. That night we saw so many smiles and laughs—on all of our faces. I wish with all my heart I would've gotten a picture of Mark's smiling face.



The next morning at 4 a.m., on May 27, Mark woke me up with uncontrollable shaking in his right leg. He said to immediately call 9-1-1: Something he rarely tells me to do so I knew it was serious.

He was brought to the U of M where he had his kidney transplant. By the time I got Hannah and I packed up and out the door, we were about 20 minutes behind the ambulance. When we arrived to the ER, almost immediately Mark started having seizures that were uncontrollable and I was asked about his code status as they knew they would have to intubate him. Luckily Mark and I have talked about it several times and I knew he wanted them to do whatever it took to keep him alive.

They did a CT scan of his head right away and that was where they found a subdural hematoma (bleeding on the brain). Since about the middle of April, Mark had been suffering with unstable gait and balance issues with a little bit of worsening dizziness. He had fallen a couple times while we were in Hawaii. After we got back from Hawaii, things seemed to be getting worse. We brought him into the ER where we were told he had nerve damage to the brain from his diabetes. Then we went to the neurologist where we were told he likely had side effects from the medications causing his gait instability and balance issues. In my heart I just had this feeling something was more wrong. He was having more difficulty, more twitching, balance issues, and more falls. The day before we left for down to the Cities, he had a really bad, nasty fall in which he hit his head on the end table and couch.

I regret now not following my gut and pushing for more answers. When the bleed showed up, it was thought he could’ve had this bleed for a long time, causing all the issues.

Since he has been diagnosed, he has been in the hospital for 2-1/2 weeks. He was intubated for 3 days. He was nonresponsive for days before he could even nod his head. Now, 3 weeks later, we are in an acute rehab facility trying to get him rehabbed enough to come home or get closer to home.

This has been so hard. The journey of a traumatic brain injury is something you can’t even fathom. At times Mark has no idea who I am. He has told people we have a 3-year-old daughter named Tammy (she is 4 and named Hannah). He has yet to correctly tell us the year (he has said it’s 1996). He has cognitive deficits and problems with sequence thinking.

It certainly is a journey of grieving. Grieving the “old Mark” versus the “new Mark”. Grieving what Mark used to say or do without knowing what for sure he will gain back. The grief may be temporary or permanent and only time will tell.

We do have a praise as when we called the ambulance, we were only about 15 minutes away from the U of M where he got his high-level care and has had his transplant. Had we been at home, he would’ve been an hour away from high-level care. Had we been in the North Shore, who knows what would’ve happened. Being so close to the U of M could’ve quite possibly changed the course of this journey. He may have had seizures longer and possibly more brain damage. He possibly would not have survived. As it was, it truly is a miracle he is even still with us. God had us change our plans for a reason.

Mark has a lot of therapy ahead of him. He has a long road ahead. Our whole family does. We ask you to please keep us in your prayers. We do have a Caring Bridge page that I make updates on every day, usually multiple times a day:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/markwondra

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, support, love and encouragement as we face one of the toughest journeys we’ve ever had to go through.