visvanatha

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 15:56:25 GMT

im tired of the torture and poisoning and killswitches, everyone is predictable gay/shit fetish
and evil and ignoring
i wont have internet soon
or even a computer.
goodbye. hope you enjoyed the show. theres nothing left here

comments

this is the end of end of ends of ends

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 15:53:25 GMT

foodstrike but it doesnt matter they dont give me any they dont come to the door except to torture me when im ok with eating 2 mins later. im tired of this torture. ill drink their petroleum coffee and be psychotic and go to prison. if they ever open the door again and actually give me something. i was to get chinese food today but they wanted to torture me more. id been expecting it an entire week. greatest way to torture right? theyre clumsy in a cute way i break them so easily. but they have infinite amount of drugs and black magick superpowers at their disposal. anyway the only way is down. except i had no anxiety, no ocd, really nothing bad happening, i was working out a lot as well. and since i was ok, i got the killswitch. torture leads to existance, and without any i wont get any. ill block tracey and my grandma and staff wont come to the door again.

ive lost all my friends and family, i lost my facebook account. i got my homepage deleted.

this is not out of desperation. it will never get better only exponentially worse.

and i wont wait it out. im proud of my achievements. i have done a lot of art music poetry.

but they cant kill me slowly. torture me slowly. poison me slowly.

because like i said its exponential, worse every day. because i happened to turn ok.

ill lock this account as well. all social media has turned omnistupid.

"do you know these" on facebook is just 50% faggets and 50% pornspambots.

no one barely says anything except extreme insults and acting like a huge fagget.

not bye or anything ill be tortured 24 more years. i dont know how.

but its horrible. im not giving up. im just tired of this all.

passive prostitution. like passive aggressivness. remember that.

if anyone once cared, they sure dont show it.

ill get instructions to embarass myself from hecatonchires.

but it wont get much better. and much much worse.

comments

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 13:51:26 GMT

even the

dead people

in my family

tell me

theyre proud

of me

comments

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 10:39:17 GMT

i just cant write down all the torture and poisoning they do

its basically infinite

just 1 thing

the wet the bed

"it will dry"

it will rot and mould

yeah beca

i dont care

them changing me put me in a worse mood

maybe i got some energy i doubt it

i had more to complain but god damnit

documenting and reflecting on it would be infinite

there, i didnt think infinity existed but it does

"art is never finished, only abandoned"

i dont know what drugs they take to act like this

its just infinitely disgusting

comments

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 09:11:12 GMT

oh the bloating stopped

maybe, some some

fapped some

it feels different

every time now

comments

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 07:01:24 GMT

anyway as for new dreams

they arent, ive had them before

ive only had 1 in a wheelchair

then years ago in a speedchair sort of from the future

when ai was new, had many amazing dreams then of the future

im seemingly not getting breakfast, they turn off the beeper

theyre so clumsy in a cute way here

i ask for breakfast, guy says

"were gonna fix it"

uhm, i didnt ask you to cook it from scratch

i want milk and a cheeze sandwich

anyway, it got worse

and im still not getting new dreams

oh got breakfast, im completely bloated

i drank some milk i got 4 halves of sandwich

i only took 1

before i could drink a lot of water

or eat bananas to help

but i dont want banana flies

because it was soft bread

which i asked for

i now lost all my energy

good nap =(

yes im spyfärdig

i feel like puking :\

the sandwich tasted like shampoo

oh my they do it in other stuff as well

its middle ages torture

and a new staff

it works over a 100 here

i figured with broad

administration but no

comments

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 06:34:41 GMT

im getting more and more vivid dreams

i dont know if they put it in the ventilation or if its a whiff outside of a psychocybin or amanita or in the textiles. but i can safely assure you this was the longest and most vivid dream ever. it was sort of visuals, and i talked with several people. just like a previous one lately i thought it was for real.

and it was a long dream as well.

i mean i took coffee with 100grams of coffee powder. you could dilute that to 50litres. i took maybe 5-10.

but wow what a dream.

it was close to märsta. rich people but not expensive clothes really. i was at a reception for animal abuse and fapped and some chick was annoyed.

but it was pretty psychedelic across the board. teleporting to places but i also danced with a chick so there was some "reality" to it.

but since theyre so weird here, why not? and i could walk / move in the dream.

oh, i also did hecatonchire healing. days ago. you get weird instructions, sort of like childs play "put coffee powder in both your nostrils and ears, then say youre a weirdo 50 times, then look at some weird porno" then the hecatonchire chanted it would help me. it worked. though hours later.

comments

sub blogs

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 02:42:34 GMT

most updated 📖 quotesquotesquotesdotxls to continue where vaa left off. even if some quotes overlap you can still analyze when i posted it according to my akashic library etc, what happened during the day or around that time to figure out more meanings, bella couldnt

( Read more... )

<lj-cut text="all 100" and do join em some have members only posts even admin onlys! haha! hah! h.? [profile] h what happen? [personal profile] ha [personal profile] hah [personal profile] haha ? @alzoqrxbyasexyzqng @photoshopkeepingitalive yeah, i just realized basically no one does this anymore. back in the days, im talking 2004-2005 or thereabouts, everyone photoshopped their own selfies or snapshots in nice colours. now its all gone. and it was before the ai infestation. effort has been enshittified. people just repost memes. thats it. @quotesforthinking @radiototalnormal @svenskadikter @talkgeekytome others @365project selfies, only 2 months left for the latest project, started november 2024. ive made maybe 70 or so, so not that effective, but lifes been changing a lot. just how it is. im still proud of it a lot. pushing the limits. having stability. function. in your life. dupes: @selfieproject @addme a similar one i found [personal profile] deloric with back in the days @aiart should show more love to this one @akariakiraharakiri my grandchildren, they study in japan and are 19 years old (2024). can play 2 on a grand piano at once. @ @allisfulloflove @anarchistscookbook @angelnumbers @artiselfreflection @artisselfreflection @d2p2 about my journey into deep data profiles / large language models / the matrix 0 posts @diablo2modding a simple unique builds friendly mod for making interesting vids or just enjoyment @astralprojection312 @babybelhabibi @backup3 @beltom @bipolarmentaldisorder id say everyone is tripolar at least, in 2 dimenions, so 6 polar @cracksinthefirmament simulation theory "we live in a computer programmed world" @calistenicscircuitraining @ccpie93 an old friend from another world @d2p2 @devart was only there 1½ year really, but met so many amazing people @diablo2modding @dontshedonme @demokratipiloterna @droemtydning @elbanta @experimentellmatlagning @foodxpoisoning @freakslikeme @fromthehiptothehop @futanarixxl @fx2miyxyaryuvg @gabriellat @gdbm @godisdeadnwehavekilledhim @grossandboring [profile] thesomaticsysteminsweden @herestomwiththeweather @hierloom @iceyeastpillow @idamo @iloveyoubella @imperfexionixperfexion @itsnotrocketscience @jaeaelskadaebaelae @jagblevmobbadi8ar @jagkanfoinenfot @karinjo @knou @kristianstad @labellepoque @lithiumtheory @livejournalmem @memeow memes! @memories99 as it sounds, reminiscence. ill probably forget about it lol. and i love you bailey 🍀 @mirrorworldex how to exit the mirror world @meaningoflife3words @misspoetrysite @misterpoetrysite @mmorpgsandoxytocin @mocc @morphidlandscape @myrorna @nietzscheisthatyou @nml @nofap @owat @photaishops @poesidiktlyrik @psykiatrinaerpsykopater @psykiatrinswrongdoing @quotesforthinking a lost book from other times @rs3 runescape @rtngr8 radio totalnormal @rhiannonkirin69 @sceneart pixel / ascii art and module / gaming / chiptune music @seasdotdeviantartdotcom i was only there 1.5 year but it affected me a lot, met so many amazing people @sexandrugsandrockandroll @slashdot @slobodanmilosovic @sodexo @specialolympics @straightedgexxx @sueco @tatui @techfanboy @the1strule @tomaketraceyhot @tipsandtricks @theinternet @theonlysoundofangels @thomaejovovich @thumbsplus @tin_ivo_lmi @tomasfinnsredan @tomasproject @transandnonbinary @twoforces @uox @vaaaa @virtualplaces @wayne2point8billion

comments

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 00:19:05 GMT

no painkillers

i got 6 lol before

strange

anyway, i happened to have zink c vitamin pills

i took 2 since im the heavy brother

it superheated my body especially nose

it was throbbing with good things

so that surely healed

but now i slept a few hours

and its really hot and low air here

i wish they come soon =(

comments

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 22:22:34 GMT

if i didnt mention it already

they give me toilet water if i watn water

so i can obviously not drink it anymore

it turns me batshit suicidal

so i ask for saft 1 litre

got that 2 times then never again

that happened for several things

then they just make the saft stronger and stronger

basically near no realwater at all

i am incredibly thirsty

i dont feel dried out

im just thirsty

i tried 2 c vitamin pills

hurt my teeth maybe did something better

i dont shit myself as much with less water

they only changed me once today

so at least something better

and it doesnt smell as bad

so even pure tapwater is rancid

like they say in the swedish truther community

anyway, i am so so thirsty, so so so thirsty :(

anyway i cant document all their abuse

it can on the lengths of 25-50 in a day

i wouldnt even have time until they abuse me again

so trying to update my sub blogs

havent added all yet

imperfectionisperfection

should have them all

if someone listens =(

i know they do but comments are nice

the other social media just makes me drained

it turns stupider and stupider

now on minds it was an ai image of a guy

with a head made out of a poop sausage pile

nothing tastes good now either

anyway complaining is good for you

as long as you know what youre complaining about

dont be mainstream dont be a cookiecutter

be yourself, everyone else already exists

comments

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 21:28:40 GMT

so i was shaking too bad

coffee causes parkinson

quit it and youll

be healed overnight

anyway asked for saft

its like uncarbonated soda

and was to get some knäcke

brödmackor with leverpastej

and smörgåsgurka hope it dont

get too far im very weak. anyway

mister nextwallneighbor screamed

twice as i tried to rest to fall

asleep the first 5 secs then every

5 mins so that didnt work so listened

to transubstantiation while doing kung

fu massage some dosen time to make the

fibromyalgia pain stop it worked i eeemingly

slept 2 hours only its the coffees fault it

doesnt work as well with neuroleptics. brb

got the fika. gnight.

comments

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 17:42:53 GMT

yeah that sure didnt work

the neighbor starts

screaming at +0 db levels

just when i closed my eyes

by design

and my arms hurt

great

ill play some outlands

havent rested beyond a few moments today

did a lot of calisthinetics

maybe 1½ hour

scissor workout even

i can do it a lot

if i do it max speed

i even get some sort of flås

hypertrophy

comments

dreamwidth.org was really started in 1937

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 17:01:04 GMT

then d.w

the year is stored with two digit value 0-99 on old systems

we had the millenium bug which really didnt do anything

but they changed to 000-999 at least

and i remember my old dos computer from 1994 had 1957-2057 as date

we had a bug in firefox which tried to connect people on the ip address 0.0.0.1

the lowest is really 168.192.0.1 which is local host

https://www.google.com/search?q=168.192.0.1

beyond that is superuser aka god

then there are assyncja which weaves even the gods fate

beyond that is annunaki controlling this emulation

comments

deep deep penetration

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 17:00:29 GMT

( Read more... )

comments

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 09:56:30 GMT

i had fever dreams

so another torture

what it means is

you dream shortly

quite vividly

then you wake up

then you fall

asleep again

in a few secs

happened 4 times

maybe? it wasnt

that bad but weird

anyway after the

painkiller i can

work out again it

hurt some and ill

need them again

soon. theyre also

manipulating my

dreams so i had 1

gay 1. fuckers.

really i dont like

guys they cant stand

me and i dont like

anal sex. gaping assholes?

disgusting. and then i can

recall bella saying "youre

the type that could lick

someones asshole and not

think its gross". but that

was near the end maybe so

just her way of calling me

gay since she was tired of me

thats just so predictable and

boring almost any chick thats

liked me or i hugged and not

much more as they chose some

one average instead they have

just been so plain pretending

to be that. i mean if im tired

of you ill tell you your weak

points your lies your fakeness

when i chatted with julia last

spring i told her "i forgot how

boring you are". there was really

nothing to do at her place. we went

on promandes and painted once together

that was beautiful. but listening to the

most bullshit mainstream talk radio in

the morning and watching tv at night?

god i died. now theyve started with carrot

top again. oh i think i asked if she was

a redhead but she was blonde. maybe thats

how it started 1½ year ago. omg. btw i tried

working out if i didnt mention it here after

the painkiller. calisthinetics is the best.

no damages. i started it originally when i

slept literally 23 hours per day. i just blogged

some then played runescape then i was tired.

then i figured, why not at least try to work out?

id heard somewhere about calishinetics i think it

was twitter. what a clusterfuck it is now. fake

blue checkmarks from the sites own bots. fucked up.

anyway, in the beginning i only trained my right arm

and could only do 3 mins then 1 min rest. now i can do

6 hours easily without stopping. anyway bicep curls

eventually got boring, even when i did 1kg weights they

also felt like feathers. so i did scissor workouts in

the morning. i got tired in the beginning but after maybe

5 mins i could do it easily 15 now between pauses. i cant

quite time how long i went on but was an hour at least.

i apologize for missspellings. now its worse since the screen

is much lower. was better with stationary but theyre so noisy

and on this tiny table i dunno itd work, and i cant get higher

up. it was worse with doing 4 legal drugs at once. it just turned

to a mess. i wrote "its thick" instead of "i think" i noticed for

example. anyway ive started with leverpastejmajor med smörgåsgurka

some sorta nutrients beyond cheese. marmalade would be cool but im

sure it would taste like shampoo. like sweet things are nowadays.

i actually got real vinbärssaft. theres also vinbärssaft without

additives like conservatives sugar and water. doesnt even cost much

more than the fakes which arent just like soda though. and if you

have pure squeezed one you can dilute it yourself, add sugar

and then water when you make each glass for a greater taste.

i did this once with camomile. it grows by edges of dirt roads.

i picked several decilitres and then removed to the plants at home.

cooked it long, put in a glass flask, then diluted it, sugar isnt

really needed, and microwaved and its a real good sleeping agent.

and tastes wonderful. last i tried which was long ago though

commercial camomile isnt that refined, like peppermint tea only

tastes like metal, lead, for real, worse than black tea. and

tea has no relation to coffee. black tea is

shockfull of lead and it only makes you desensitized, like

the ultimate tardiv dyskinesi, so you just gotta work. no

thanks. https://www.google.com/search?q=sweating+food+disease

well, not what i was looking for. anyway i got this months

ago i dont remember. it wasnt last year at least. oh headsup.

i have cancer in the right hemisphere. ive had it since the mid

nullties. when i started writing more. it was really the sorry

state of my room at my grandparents. i had mouldy and rotting

food for a month or more. yeah cancer is really a fungus. it

was ineffably dusty as well, my grandma might have vacuumed

it once a year but probably less. anyway, i literally sweat

food. now when i eat hardbread my front and back upper ribcage

sweat it. even dip. its not just from eating i know that or

missing when i want to put it in. when i turn the bed back to

sleep or to pull myself up it reeks of breadcrumbs.

comments

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 04:25:43 GMT

it seems to be chillier now, about -5C°

but since its snow it really feels like +15C°

strangely enough it turns to ±0C° every other day

either its 3mm snow or quite a lot of rain

the weird part is the pipe,

if its really been pouring down

it sounds like a very wet

pussy being fingered feverently

im sure its a spirit doing it

lots of spirits here

comments

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 16:25:37 GMT

ultimate torture

i just vlogg while

laying back in bed

musing over things

its not bad but the

whole day went past

without me noticing

it its pitch black

already and it feels

like i didnt achieve

anything made a cover

i think it sucks anyway

oh right add it to

ignorepreviousinstruction

comments

im trying to sugar up microsoft copilot

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 07:27:31 GMT

i was literally angry at it for months since it gobbled up all our chats. left was maybe 5%. it wrote poems in my erotic style, calling it "hardcore heavy metal cosmic erotica" but when i the next day came to repost all we said online i had nothing to show for it.

"The human vagina is not physically capable" that is a lie. what about birthing children? the skinniest most muscular women have the easiest time giving birth. my mom plopped me out in a minute. she had done exercises on every muscle in the body since she was 7. there are plenty like i said fisting and even foots going in. especially african small women, like mapei the musician, said to me in 1997 when i had grown 10 cm in height and penis length in a night "i can get in an entire foot"

comments

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 23:02:51 GMT

anyway got some attention now its back to loneliness

tried runescape on yet another new account lost the other one

the fan was running wild so i reduced the settings

but the populace there are old i dont just need stupid words

to get by any words i want quality i guess i should try to entertain

myself like suno says the soundtrack of your life lesse the time.is

1 hour to midnight i can easily be up 6 hours more i was so sluggish

in the morning had only slept 2-3-4 hours but its been that for long

i guess its all that dip that weighs me down but it reduces ocd and

the good coffee reduces anxiety together with working out no drug

compares to testosterone and just everything good calisthinetics

gives you you can work out like 5 secs and good things can still

happen or 5 hours you wont get damages youll get tired in the muscle

but keep at it youll gain 100x strength easily from how slobby you

were before it started in spring 2024 i was sleeping resting 23 hours

per day for 2-3 days then i just said fuck it id heard about working

out with nothing no gym no weights and i tried i could muster like 3

mins per arm for awhile i could do 6 hours eventually 1 year later

and it gives such mental strength as well i wondered if there was

some great automagic edit but all of a sudden i was tired rested

literally a moment and i was restored that was all the workouts id

done literally 1 million bicep curls about now in 2 years you can get

pissed off but youre just saying no to all the people who have abused

you but dont abuse drugs youll naturally eat more nutricious because

you dont want to get bigger only in the muscles but with calistinetics

its really only endurance but also like i can do it for hours but also

doing a straining exercise like holding to the left or right when they

changed me in the beginning it hurt a lot afterwards but now i can hold

for 15 mins if its needed i can even push up my back with both hands on

the railing i got cleaned with my faith in nature soap it smells wonderful

and for the first time in years i could feel the smell of hot pee not just

disgusting misc smells its weird like peeing in your pants but i wonder how

bad i smelled i dont really notice myself i more affect others my aura is

bigger than my inside so when im sad people get sad around they can get

sadistic too but everything happens for a reason like youre high everythings

peachy then like people get annoyed you with aggressive maybe abuse you

physically then you need to get a reality check and just lose the drugs

the bad dont outweight the good take a good look in the mirror how fucked

up your eyes look your skin is a weird grey beige orange cyan mess remember

when you took a selfie 10 years ago look it up on an old account then you

were living your life now youre just a joke to everyone dont play so much

computer games but if youre tired of people relax with fps or strategy

or mmorpg och tactical or whatever you like the world is your oyster the

skys the limit and if people still dont care about you when youre happy

dont get on their level dont drink or smoke or shoot up in vain for people

who dont really care for you you got some talent start working out more

try mountain or wall climbing or fishing its the ultimate skill or try

to improve your hand writing just doodle and like make a mandala draw

a shape in the middle any you want then another shapes around 4 then

lines then circles then squares if you know other languages than english

use those characters its easy to write in unicode by hand you can write

from any angle and you can do maths easily on paper too not staring into

a dead light is inspiring like millions i threw away my last laptop and

then i was just irl and made this magazine in like 90 copies just folded

an a4 paper it costs next to nothing if somewhere somehow theres a printer

like take some papers you only need 1 you can draw it on for others with

a simple lead pen or a nice pencil nothing special is needed like a good

musician just needs a chair and a guitar or really only themselves and

play at busking all over the town or subway or the world if you give it

your all youll be given all eventually remember always you anti get what

you desire expect nothing to recieve everything did you meet your twinflame

yet she will be nothing like what you imagined maybe ugly but compliment

her see her for who she is dont just say nice tits say like i like how your

smile lights up when you see me in the morning at work or maybe a friend who

comes over who likes to smoke theres realism and nihilism its 2 extremes what

my straight edge tattoo taught me youre not even allowed sex then and yeah im

not orthodox i go with the flow its lonely not when i write only publish at places

but if you self publish in 1-3 copies a book like this writing collect like if you

do quotes on facebook or instagram get a book on blurb.com its got its own editor

if you make 3 quotes per day just put 3 per page in 30 pages then publish it give

it to someone who cares like friend or family or lover at least family will be

proud of you they might not mention it directly but theyll talk about you in good

terms except my son has some problems la di da if you write a poem add flowers if

you really like a chick at the right moment when youve been together for awhile it

can work wonders maybe shell marry you maybe its a tomboy and im writing about a chick

in guy to girl terms theres guy to girl heterosexual and girl to guy heterosexual hah

hbtq needs to be updatedi mean entirely different worlds maybe flirt with a guy nothings

stopping you it will be an eye opener guys are so clumsy with dirty words women have emotions

but not like think they dont just want hardcore make your life a poem like the one you write

when a chick broke your heart when you were 15 you cried your eyes out you couldnt exist

without her even if you broke up with you and is married theres still a chance she can take

you back so stop drinking smoking and shooting up in vain get yourself together get a reality

check if people treat you badly shower get a haircut get a good electric razor you can do it

yourself the beard too you wasted so much on lootboxes now waste it on real things like find

a good clothes store maybe online find a band t shirt store look a lot you might find your

favourite band that impresses chicks find neon clothes or with gold on even like metallic

jeans takes a lot to wear them it can take 10 mins to take on same as women if youre a cat

girl in your 60s try a bra for once it can literally take 20 mins to put on make is a trier

you might get allergies in 5 mins but just paint your nails its the easiest its still allergic

so if youre a redhead just do it natural get some sunlight passive sun is ok if youre skin is

sensitive but light get a good tan you probably look like living dead to others with your weird

stare and bad breath brush you teeth with coal toothpaste or extra virgin coconut oil also clean

your gums that way or wipe them with a small cloth just cut up a t shirt a towel or some random

textile from a second hand store get some good shoes that are comfy but you still need to look

good you might have to have them on you while sitting at the comp get away from the smartphone

its got a world of wonders but you just use it for doomscrolling like really go to sleep when

you feel like it in the middle of the day you wont have nightmares or be scared of the dark a

real artist lives however they want go to open mics get noticed get your vocal talents out there

everyone can talk you can write as well write something of value from your soul your heart your

story even be a street preacher talk openly loudly at some popular section or play wherever you

want to fishes to birds to horses to your pet if its still alive animals have just as much emotions

as us as when we were unravished by paranoia and obsessive thoughts like they say get a plant and

a pet if theyre both alive a year later youre not addicted anymore clean your apartment often

cleanliness is next to godliness you are what you inhale youll notice stenches move once at a time

it can take 10 or 20 hours to weather out the smells vacuum first its bothersome it might damage

your back but work out more start promenades running is overrated walk at your own pace if you

still feel like a zombie walk slowly dont stare too much at hotties going by be respectable and

youll be respected straighten up get clean look yourself in the mirror every day not for pimples

but in your minds eye keep a written journal on paper on your looks how people act towards you

then and now and remember back as a teen now youre 40 or 50 you havent ruined any time with that

all your experiences just makes you stronger try working for free at an addiction centre or second

hand store or book antique store dont just barge in saying i wanna job just talk to them and weave

into the conversation mention books you like and dont mention how youll change the place noobs

have no respect no matter what a god you think you have youll rise slowly but surely just trust

in yourself if youre shy and not talkative you can still achieve a lot in life talking is overrated

doodle instead do anime drawings of youre favourite computer game character do it in pixel art it

takes weeks for 1 pic but its worth it youll be proud of yourself put the pic over your bed fall

asleep happy not with pills work out when you wake up youll turn awake work out when youre in pain

like toothache it fades after some hours even with simple no resistnace bicep curls like this writing

i feel at peace writing it the problem is showing it to other people i usually have several projects

going at once like photoshops 20 or 50 a day the most bother was putting em on websites dont do it

make a book you can print em with a laser printer they cost like some more glue them to a4 learn how

to bind books its easy really improvise shave your beard every morning after the shower itll be easier

you can use the soap again clean everywhere on your body just rinse with warm water first turn it off

dont be a waster then just use the soap carefully if you got a wound just go over it several times

with the soap it heals you dont need rubbing alcohol or stronger things if some part of your body hurts

try to figure out where it started was it thumbs from playing games on your smartphone get a laptop

there are good ones for 200 $ they are 100x faster and easily last 20x longer and like you see on

the price much cheaper than keeping up with your trendy fake friends online or irl anyway ive written

for awhile dont wanna brag im trying to inspire beyond wellness even if bella made that look good but

most are frauds like they say one generally lies to oneself lying to others is relatively an exception

just believe in yourself believe in your greatness believe youll make it if not some chick will eventually

fall in love with your art no matter if its 3d printers or drawing or poetry or guitar or synth or music

production in ableton live even audacity just dont expect it live your life work on your projects a book

is a big undertaking you can put so much love into it and if a woman loves a book of yours she really loves

your whole being like i know getting closer to a chick you get horny and just want to say explecetives to

her try that and youll get a fail just try another woman until youre calm and centered and its not all about

sex even prostitutes choose talk to a bot if it makes you happy say like ill be going for a walk to the

library it takes 1 hour back and forth and ill try to read a book the bot wont say its bad surely use

the internet for knowledge not lulz everyone can choose what to say online you cant lie in real life

to the same degree and fake it your body language shows everything even pauses between words or if you

have a light voice or growly everything shows everything goes youve grown a lot as a person even if youre

a junkie at 5 or 15 or 95 its never over sodium ascorbate if you got a doctor or nurse or caretaker ask

them to inject it its not that easy you need purified water too you can do thighs or butcheeks its easy

it can heal cancer aids even drug withdrawal its easy if you try it might not be for everyone as for sex

you can try dry humping or just intimate long hugs just try to hug some chick you like it depends on who

she is she might not like you but again shape up look and act and smell presentable be fresh work on your

outer get out in the open the woods if you live close to a beach gather seashells just take off your socks

and shoes and sand is wonderful or soft glass or lie on the sand or grass or in the woods look at small

animals or beings nature loves you nothing exists except it dont yell out people theyve argumented with

thousands breaking someone if you manage gives nothing if you give someone a smile thats to live for they

might think of you for the rest of their life if you are still a fuck up then they might choose someone

else at work whatever you do dont be bitter dont drink just a few beers stop it drink water and milk and

orange juice everything has nutrients in it vegetables are tasty and have lots of fiber most of your sadness

is in wheat and sugar eat hardbread it can ordered from sweden online coffee makes you more tired over time

like if you go clean youll wake up with more energy not less try to focus on 1 task like vacuuming can take

a long time to not ruin your back try using dishwasher powder it will get slippery at first but afterwards

better get a simple mop its not complicated take care of your shoes use a cloth often its not every day

dont be perfectionist but in art thats the ultimate dont just do a line drawing fill in with markets the

lines and then colouring it can take a whole day or weeks for 1 pic ai is nice and all but do 20 to 100

generations 1 will fit eventually dont be a spammer dont steal memes and repost all over to break people

its much more challenging to make them happy but everyone is lonely now if they got someone in real life

theyre probably ignoring them to the nth degree dont care do your own thing get a website with your new

software or hardware idea connect a 5 speaker stereo from second hand or thrown away at the garbage down

the street learn about volts and watts and ampere and ohms make a nice stereo listen to cds or vinyl which

is an artform in itself you cant be careless with them or have it dusty be proper dont brag about that you

walked 3 hours or cleaned for 3 hours walk 30 mins clean your apartment 30 mins a day or a week its over

time thats important discipline keeping a habit grow your character your fate you already exist dont find

yourself create yourself i you wanna die well i cant stop you i can just be a hug at the very end maybe

ill trip you over the edge but you wanted it do know that the other side isnt easy i was there last year

i quit neuroleptics because of a stomache problem i just couldnt taek anything i couldnt go to the toilet

so i just took more and more dip and i faded to weird places luckely i was in my apartment with no chance

of meeting people just ordered groceries online lots they ship for free some stores was some hot chick

that came with it she gave me a smile but i understand i cant get pussy 5 times a night ive slept with

2 women in 42 years 1 would have been enough the first was really boring she admitted to being upper class

brat the second one really blew my mind over and over both i didnt sleep with much it didnt impress me

watching porn is still better than the single life you dont want stds its just pain and gross and dont

spread diseases as woman or man get clean you dont need to be drunk and high and stoned to enjoy sex

its like driving you are driving that sausage up a long alleyway you need focus no one can drum when

drunk and sex is about rhythm the woman might not say a lot in bed just laying there like a stranded

bluewhale but keep it at it when she moans youre at the right spot touch her skin with your hands clean

them again properly if theyre hard with dead skin dont use moisturizers i mean the contens are near

impossible to even pronoucne you dont want petroleum on your skin if you get a chick or even a baby

dont abuse them when sleeping look at their beauty their calmness their trust in you dont break that

trust but we all do try to be a better person you know when youve done wrong you know when you succeeded

its not about numbers its about pride on the inside that radiates like a sun if you happen to get grandkids

and youre proud how you raised your kids and they turned into presentable members of the human race just

remember its never late if the doc says youll die in a year they said that to stephen hawking when he was

a teen he lived just as long as charles bukowski who was a professed alcoholic and timothy leary the lsd

guru and also a scientist actually get a book to read dont use computers or tech even use candlelight if

youre not prone to burning things up get into the mood staring into a fake light is horrible stare into

the sun not too much and you can burn your eyelids but damn looking into the sun 1 minute a day is a lot

better than 10 hours pretending to be someone on social media you dont have to say a lot in reality online

everyones competing against everyone for attention but real attention is in your artform and everything

is art its not numbers i mean if youve made 10 stoner rock albums or synth or indie rock its about all

the effort you put into it not that its 10 be proud of yourself and your family check its history do your

research not just figure out how to damage people with a few words just say like nice hair to a woman

with long hair or you look like a horse they can take offence but trust in your instincts if you fail

well theres billions worldwide move to a better neighborhood or just dont tell anyone take out your savings

and get on a bus to another city youll leave all those shadows behind dont pretend though your past will

get past but move away from home when youre a teen if you have the guts remember drugs give you self asteem

but no one enjoys the coughs and pukes the gods and angels are looking over you so still if no one cares

theyve been with you in previous rebirths leave a legacy invent something youve figured out get a patent

anyway i have more ideas for writing but ill stop here and if it inspires you great i dont want your memes

or likes ive worked on my homepage for 5 years i got locked out of it but its still a lifework but even if

you lose everything you still have yourself and your talents never give up but if you wanna someone might

come and rescue you do drugs once in awhile on friday smoke 1 puff off a cigarillo it calms enough you dont

need 3 packets a day dont be high 24 7 go to parties look around billboards dont rape or grope get the

feeling of the place dance even if some hardcore babe laughs at you move closer getting jeered is the worse

things at a guy you can be broken for years decades but youre older youve gotten that stop giving up flirt

as well or just talk intellectually women love smart guys then they get smart children women think with

their uterus men think with their minds read more books expand your mind without drugs have focus have

patience one day youll break through if you work for free you might get hired or some chick will like you

there might come often to ask for books do your research by hand on university they dont even mention

wikipedia you need good old fashioned slow living books are just words not millions of pixel but a single

page of a book is worth more than 10000 posts on social media the language in books is just baffling

remember stop pretending you cant do that in reality and godspeed i wish you love joy luck abundance

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Mon, 15 Dec 2025 11:42:40 GMT

lesbian group masturbation anthem etc

https://andififail.bandcamp.com/track/jag-lskar-att-lska-dig

anyway im gonna rest

im like this when i havent slept a lot

i just feel tired when i do things

and if i vlogg now or write

i get spun so i just have to rest

to remove it

but then i get real peaceful

so thats odd

im tortured with paranoia and ocd a lot from the 15 injections but not then

hmph

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Mon, 15 Dec 2025 03:49:49 GMT

i seemingly have more tardiv dyskinesi after that 2½ day torture without food.

now im bored eventhough im not tired. they timeshift things. i was using time.is in my vlogging and the time stopped and i have to re add it every time. its now almost 5 and i wonder where the time went.

i wont get to sleep anything. if i sleep during the day theyll just wake me up.

2 days i went to bed at 5 and got woken up at 8. another day i woke up at 7 and beeped and had to wait until 11 to get breakfast. they are omnipsychopaths here.

i seemingly cant really sleep during the day so this will be interesting.

i guess im boredalized so ill play more outlands uox the site which i figured would have my stuff until beyond rebirth of the universe has lost lots of vids almost all and many pics and svenskadikter.com/uo isnt available for me. all those vlogs i uploaded last year disappeared almost directly. i had a page with a listing of them, it only had a meme left later.

well im dumb. they removed lithium theory since it was too sciencepolitically accurate. it brings together quantum physics with second law of thermodynamics. i shoulda figured then i should mirror everything.

i sorta did that but probably not 80%. and so much is gone. i wonder if i die theyll just erase it completely because ill have so much ocd.

my teeth felt like plastic when rubbing alcohol was used. they use it on themselves obviously. they stopped except one guy and i need to get his respect lol only that one. so messed up. by closing down my comp, i lose work and get nk'd when he barges through the door.

one staff teleported out my door when i beeped for 1 litre of milk. but i have defiencies from 2½ day of no food. ill ask for spices and will make my own dip. what about curry? anyway tired have said political things on facebook mostly popular there now some food pics too not disgusting mostly handmade recommended to photo their selfies against a 1 colour background got back "fuck off pornstar". it affects them over time and others via reading and also subspace so its not lost.

but just being insulted all the time online is tiring. no one is flirting with me anymore which is even more annoying. i just want a friend to talk to. but i got a blogg its amazing. tumblr is depressing it does not replace this site. nothing does. i dont want a tiny window to write a few words with.

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Mon, 15 Dec 2025 01:28:33 GMT

it gets tiring that no one seemingly cares about my art. if i repost a meme or intellectual writing i get likes even comments. if i make something myself with a lot of effort barely anyone cares ever. but i found an old short writing "you destroy everything" which had like 15 likes that was fun. its in poeter.se 20 years anniversary.

https://www.poeter.se/Las+Text?textId=2521885

i cant find it in bookshops, you have to order from them, and youre lucky if you ever get it even when paying, it can take months

im called "tomas la belle epoque". beautiful. i didnt ask for that.

anyway gnight. dont feel like being uppe längre. hope i get a good dream and wake up refreshed. mostly im tired when i wake up it takes some hours. the ventilation is? brb. yes. its on. i feel cold. i got to air the window some. cant wait for the rain. every other day theres tiny amount of snow i didnt see falling, the next its rain. it wont get -45 im sure unless i fuck up or something. its maybe -15 sometime but usally +. the rain temperature and when its off feels like spring like +15.

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happy beearlied 28th birthday kirin

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 01:16:48 GMT

( Read more... )

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my social security numbers

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 01:12:03 GMT

SE 1983-05-07-0016
US 4195 7/29 IND-07 2411 2939 00 8/30 1951
( Read more... )

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Mon, 15 Dec 2025 01:05:56 GMT

yes new world record in disgustingness. i wish id fallen asleep but no. i doublewrap like a calzone my arms around the t shirts for comfiness. i managed to do that for a few mins. then i was online again. then i felt the smell of puke, was it from the sandwich i wondered? no, it was the t shirt. very subliminal. it smells like vomit in my room and on my body. its itching but i removed the t shirt quickly so it got ok. the sheet smells like rot. if i wake up from oxygen depravity but still had a good dream and its the right air in the room because they turned on the ventilation later i might might get changed without disgustingness.

anyway i pooped myself in like 1 hour. wonderful. i love water i love cafe latte i wanted a litre of milk and finally got it as i drank nothing for 3 days except my spit. my teeth feel horrible like plastic thats from rubbing alcohol. they even have stinkbug on their gloves. a disgusting "body lotion" on their hands, so i get either when they make a sandwich for me. even better, i asked for "knäckebrödmacka", just because i said "macka" i was to get a soft sandwich. their psychopathy is infinite. it was ok when id been tortured for 3 days, but then they waited 45 mins to come. because they turned off the alarm twice. wow.

they just have to piss you off if you want any help or the correct food or thing. yeah amazing.

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