Still learning how to be a grown-up, results may vary.

hello! i haven't posted here! in! far too long!

my brief history is that i used to be on livejournal as vividly-weird. i am currently on tumblr and bluesky as vividly-v, and a03 as vive.

i think the last fandoms i was hanging out in on dreamwidth were inception and x-men: first class? and then i got into teen wolf and ended up migrating over to tumblr, probably around 2010-2011. time to try journaling again!

... i forget how to set the date for a post in the future so that it shows up as the top post.....

oh i found the date fields at the top of the post form lmao 

edit 5 minutes after posting this: ooooooooohh geez, i'm skimming through my posts from ten years ago, this thing sure is a time capsule.............

 alright, getting back into the habit of writing/ journaling again, whooooo

Yesterday I went to my first pop concert! By myself! Amber Liu is on tour for the first time in North America for her mixtape, and it seemed like a good opportunity to push myself into an environment that I normally avoid (large groups of people milling around). It was a pretty nice event, maybe around two or three hundred people attending? But we weren't crushed together like sardines (was a little afraid we would be, not gonna lie) and it wasn't like attendance was lacking either. Her performance, as well as that of her guest performer Justin Park, were terrific and everyone on stage had such great energy. (...Every time I use that phrase I sound like a villain from season 1 of Sailor Moon).

I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to try the White Lily Diner like I had planned since the event ended later than I had thought, but it worked out okay anyway since I went to the Fran's diner near Yonge and Queen. The main goal was to have breakfast for dinner, and the banana pancakes were wonderfully hefty. (Also I was secretly judging everyone not eating breakfast food at midnight. What even is the point of eating at a 24/7 diner that serves all-day breakfast if not to indulge in off-hour breakfast foods?) But at some point I want to go back to the neighbourhood around the Opera House to try the food there. I did try out a latte at Dark Horse Espresso though, and sadly, while it was well made, the espresso used was not really to my taste.

I think that suggestion to wander new neighbourhoods from my therapist suits me fairly well. I like being able to try new foods, and safely exploring different parts of a city I've lived near my whole life also inexplicably raises my mood. Maybe I'll make another trip down to the art gallery again soon, I didn't get to walk every room last time I when I went with a friend. 

Also I feel like I enjoy the new TTC streetcars too much, but man, I just love the interior design and layout so much? There's so much space! And the entrances aren't a struggle! No horribly narrow stairs to accidentally fall down if the the streetcar suddenly jerks to a stop! And the ride is so much smoother! Good job design team! 

Holiday season means work at the restaurant is gonna be a little more involved, but since my shifts as a prep cook are basically fixed, it probably won't affect me too much aside from volume. Except for the corporate headquarters peeps deciding to have their holiday party at our location fjsaifojsodfjadf three hundred pieces of coconut shrimp to prep for one day when I usually only prep seventy-two in a week fjaidofj;asdfjsdlfjsdfilasdj;f can we just get a small paring knife I feel like butterflying the shrimp would be easier with one instead of the boning knife or steak knife.

My therapist also asked me to think about if I wanted to try dating people in the future, and I guess I tried to weasel my way out of that question by answering that I don't know that I was equipped to deal with that degree of interaction. She called me out on it and asked me again, and I told her I might consider it but I had little to no interest currently. She'd also asked me to think about what I find attractive, because apparently most people in my age group have a solid idea of their preferences. I told her that I find both men and women aesthetically attractive, but not enough to want to date anyone. I haven't told her yet that I don't see the point of figuring out what I find attractive if I also don't see the point of finding a significant other. That might be the depression talking though? It's difficult to parse the source of pointlessness most times. I think having a companion would be nice, theoretically. Being a supportive companion in return sounds like more than I can handle, though.

Alright that should be good for tonight, gotta wake up in a few hours for work.

Holy crap it's been awhile since I've posted. H-haha. I blame tumblr.

Um. So I got a new job! After months of unemployment! \o/

( Read more... )

...what have I watched recently? Oh, I've seen The Bourne Legacy (my friends are giving me these hilarious side-eyes because I've only ever seen the third Bourne movie, but I only watched this one because tumblr people said that Jeremy Renner's and Rachel Weisz's characters were adorable together) and Looper, both of which I enjoyed for different reasons (I'm probably gonna need a re-watch for both before I can make a post on them though.) I've also gotten hooked on Arrested Development and finally gotten to watch series 2 of Luther.

Iiiiiiiii am also considering replaying Kingdom Hearts for nostalgic reasons. Also because I've never actually finished a video game and now's a good time as any? :D?

I have somehow accumulated over 450 bookmarks on my AO3 account. How the hell. Did I just bookmark everything I ever read. jfc.

Just finished watching High Noon with my dad. Jesus Christ that was a good movie. And oh my god, Gary Cooper what even is your face HOW ARE YOU EMOTING LIKE THAT IT IS FUCKING MAGIC.

brb stewing in heaps of self-hate that came out of fucking nowhere

Have now watched the nine minute This Means War sneak peek 28490238404 times now. Am dying over Tom Hardy cackling like a fiend.

If I could write porn I'd be churning out threesome fic like it was my job. Alas.